Smallville (2001–2011): Season 4, Episode 7 - Jinx - full transcript

Mikhail Mxyzptlk, a mere C-student from an unnamed Balkan country, has an exchange scholarship from Luthorcorp and Lex wonders why. He has a sinister supernatural talent to manipulate people by telekinetic willpower, and abuses this gift on athletes to trick games while playing bookmaker. Chloe's paper piece on betting gets her involved, and a first mind-wave which makes Clark trip and badly injure an opposing football player make Jonathan feel it's time for Clark to stop playing football before someone gets hurt even worse. Meanwhile, Jason puts his coaching job on the line to hold off suspicion that Clark may be on drugs, then gets fired after his romance with Lana is discovered, and he mistakenly thinks Clark betrayed him. But the culprit is the crafty Lex. Clark teams up with Chloe where they finds out that Mikhail's gift can be countered. But Mikahil finds out that Clark is onto him, he resorts to even fouler play, with grim consequences for several people...

Here's the kickoff.

The winner of today's game will move on to
the state championship 1 week from today.

Play your game, buddy.

A victory today will send the crows to
the state championship.

So, are you the guy?

I guess that depends on what
you're looking for.

Mikhail Mxyzl...

Mxyzptlk.

Let me guess, you want to buy a vowel.

No, I just wanted to put 80 on the game.

You mean the game that started already.
Sorry I can't take a bet after the kickoff.



Rookie, huh?

Well, maybe in your case,
I'll make an exception.

Thanks. Can you
put me down for Smallville to win?

You sure about that? I have a funny
feeling about the quarterback today.

Well, as much as I hate to admit it, I
never bet against Clark Kent.

Suit yourself. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Rule #1: A bet is a bet.

Alright guys here we go.
Ready?

Blue 32, Blue 32...
HUT!

Trip.

Touchdown! Crows
win the game!

Win the game!
What a victory!

Unbelievable!

Smallville: "Jinx"
Season 4 Episode 5



Original Airdate Nov. 3, 2004

Is he okay?

His collarbone's broken in 2 places.

I can't figure out how you could pommel
a guy that outweighs you by 100 pounds,

and shatter his collarbone.

I'm sorry.

Must have been an accident, I mean,
I got a surge of adrenaline.

Adrenaline doesn't explain the fact that
you went from chucking bails of hay

to chucking 60-yard passes overnight.

I guess I'm a fast learner, you said
yourself I was a natural.

A natural who adamantly refuses to get a
doctor after he collapsed 2 weeks ago.

What are you trying to say?

Coach Quigley thinks you're on some kind
of performance-enhancing drug.

Like steroids?

What do you think?

I put myself on the line and said there's
no way Clark Kent would do that.

I'm not on drugs.

I hope not. Because if it comes out you're
not on the same playing field as these guys,

it's gonna be pretty disappointing to
forfeit an entire championship season.

And a college career.

I can't imagine what it must have been
like to grow up in a war-torn country.

Obviously. This is as far you can get
from scavenging the street, but,

Growing up "hand-to-mouth" does tend to
make you resourceful.

Resourceful enough to get the attention of
my father's LuthorCorp foreign scholarship.

So how do you like Smallville high.

I think it is the perfect place for me to
make my American dream.

There are many opportunities,
and the girls are... pretty.

I hope the classes aren't
too difficult for you.

I reviewed your application; I must say I was
surprised by your poor test scores and grades.

Look Mikhail, I'm just curious why
my father would award a scholarship,

historically earmarked for future Nobel-
prize-winners to a perennial "C" student.

You want to send me back.

No.

I'd just like to know
what you're really doing here.

What potential did my father
see in you, Mikhail?

Cut.

Potential you do not see on a
report card, Mr. Luthor.

Hey!

I didn't realize bookies made house calls,
especially after-hours.

Well, I guess I just walked into
the Lion's mouth, eh?

What are you talking about?

You're a first timer, and you show up at the
end of the season, I asked some questions.

I don't think it is coincidence that you are
Smallville's most notorious whistle-blower.

Notorious, huh? I like the sound of that.

- This bet was just research for the article?
- Front page if you play your cards right.

I don't suppose that being a local
celebrity will be good for business.

I think maybe you should
change professions.

You just found my Achilles' Heel.

- What, greed?
- No, pretty girls with infectious smiles.

I'm still writing the article.

If you don't even know when to place a bet,
I don't think you have the inside scoop

you're looking for. Promise not to mention
my name, and I'll let you "shadow" me,

I'll be your personal escort through
the seedier parts of Smallville.

If I cut you a break, I expect a full
behind-the-scenes story.

Of course, and the first stop
is the Winner's Circle.

So, what are you going to do
with the money?

- Textbooks.
- Ooh, don't go too crazy, huh?

My dad's on unemployment, so my college
fund took a massive hit this year.

How would you like to make enough money to
pay an entire semester of tuition

before you wake up
tomorrow morning?

I have to go to the Shark's game
in Metropolis tonight. Sharks...

8-to-1.

Chloe, if you want the big article you have
to get inside the mind of a gambler.

You have to be ready to raise the stakes.

That is, if you aren't scared.

Count me in.

There's more to life than
championships, Clark.

I bet it's easy to say that when
you have one.

Dad, when I put on that uniform,
it's like I forget who I am,

but at the same time, I've never known
myself better. It's more than just a game.

Clark, I allowed you join the football
team because I though you understood

your responsibility not to let anybody
get hurt out there.

And I accepted that responsibility because
I know I can control my abilities.

Then explain to me why there's a kid lying
in a hospital bed right now?

Have you ever seen me trip... Ever?

Something happened out on that field,
it's like I couldn't control my own legs!

Just because you are strong, doesn't mean
you can't get rattled out there like

anybody else. I'm sorry but the last place
you should be is on that football field and

you know it. Coach Quigley's at the party
tonight. I'll call him and be the bad guy.

No, Dad. Like you said,
It's my responsibility.

Coach, can I talk to you for a second?

What's up?

Kent, you saved the day! What a play!
You put us in the championship!

No, the team put us in the championship.

- I can see the ring on my finger already.
- I can see the scholarships lined up.

Clark, you're here!

Coach, coach, coach!

Topeka West may have 3 titles under it's belt,

but I know we have a real shot at the
championship, and this year we got it all.

An impenetrable defense,
an aggressive offense...

And a GOLDEN ARM!

Let's go take the title home!

Kent, Kent, Kent, Kent!

I like the new textbooks!

Hi! Don't worry, I just took 10 percent
off the top for fun, the rest of my

winnings are tucked safely away
for college tuition.

I'm glad that my tip paid off for you.

Are you kidding me?
That game was awesome!

I haven't had that much fun on a couch
since Johnny Rosenblatt in 5th grade!

I mean, all of those painted "beer-bellies"
and foam hands suddenly make sense

when you have something riding on the game!

See, why would want to spoil all the fun
by writing that article?

Because it just keeps getting
juicier by the minute.

Are you sure about that?

Why, are you going to do something
to change my mind?

Nice try, you're very cute. But I already
gave you anonymity, and

- it's going to press tonight.
- But you're only starting to scratch

the surface, and I can give you
so much more "dirt".

You're just trying to stall
the article, aren't you?

I don't think you understand me, Chloe.

I always get what I want.

On looks, apparently, because your
charm just ran out.

Stop.

Kiss me.

This is me asking you nicely.

Now you're going to drop that article,
whether you want to or not.

I've never seen you miss before.

I've also never seen you shrink from
responsibility, no matter how difficult.

You saw the look on those guys' faces, I
couldn't let them down.

I just thought I could find a way to
play like everyone else.

Clark. Open your hand.

What are you doing?

You know how dangerous Kryptonite is!

I always get better after it's gone.

So what if I'm playing sick?
Other guys play injured.

And if Dad know I don't have my abilities
and can't hurt anyone.

You are not taking meteor rocks on that field,
I know it's hard, you can't make yourself sick!

And I can't quit either!

Clark, the answer is no.

You asked your father if we'd ever seen
you trip before... Never.

Not without Kryptonite.

I was so excited to see you get a chance
to be like everyone else, that

I guess I forgot for a moment
that you aren't.

I didn't think anything of it when you
tripped, but

you've never had mishaps like other kids.

Something happened to you out there.

And if you really want to play in
the game on Saturday,

you need to find out what it was.

It's alright Clark, you can stay.

I thought you had some self-imposed
restraining order against me,

does this mean you're talking to me again?

No it just means I'm taking a chance on
getting your Dr. Jekyll side today.

What's up with the self-flogging?

I'm watching the sports editor's
tape of the game,

Trying to figure out what happened, but...

It's like I had no control, like my mind
was sending one message, but my...

But your body was getting another.

Yeah.

It's Mikhail.

The foreign exchange kid?

- Mixa...
- Mxyzptlk. Say that 3 times fast.

He's our new resident "Puppet Master".

This is kind of embarrassing, but...

he made me kiss him.

Made you?

Yeah, it was just like how
you explained your trip,

it was like someone else was
controlling me.

Ok, but, why would he want me
to throw the game?

Clark, he's the biggest bookie
in the school!

The power to control the odds.

Let me do a search on his name.

"0 Matches Found"

I guess I shouldn't be surprised that
Mxyzptlk didn't bring anything up.

Well what's that?

"Did you mean KLTPZYXM?"
It's Mikhail's name backwards.

- Looks like a nursery rhyme gone bad.
- Yeah, it's some legend from

the Piatori region in the Balkans.

That's near where Mikhail's from.

It says the region's been terrorized for
centuries by a bloodline of people,

who can control the hand of luck.

It's not exactly luck if they're controlling
people. What does it say about the

- backwards name?
- The family changed their name a century

ago and fled the area to escape the stigma
after a village burned to the ground.

Looks like Mikhail's still
running from his heritage.

It doesn't exactly say how to stop the
kissing bandit, does it?

Oh, here!

According to the legends, the only thing
that stopped them was a plague of locusts.

There may be one other force
they didn't count on.

Think about it,
who brought him here in the first place?

You want me to deport a
LuthorCorp exchange student?

Gambling on Crows games,
isn't a sanctioned extracurricular.

I'm surprised you care so much
about some half-rate bookie.

Or is there something else about
Mikhail you aren't telling me?

Lex, you sponsored him, I just thought
you might want to do something about it.

Of course I'll look into it.

I'm surprised you didn't go to the
principal first, or Coach Teague.

But I see how that can be more
complicated than it sounds.

Why would it be more complicated?

Come on.

I can't be the only one who's picked on
Lana's fondness for quarterbacks.

Even retired ones.

Yeah, to be honest, it has been hard
to see her with someone else.

Don't worry, Paris can have a
magical effect on people, but...

the enchantment has a funny way
of waning the longer you're gone.

I know Lana. She's never been this
serious about anyone.

You sound awfully concerned about that for
someone that let her walk out of his life.

I guess the whole "If you love them, set
them free" thing kind of backfired.

It's not about love, Clark. It's about
what you're willing to do for it.

On that field, you'll do whatever
it takes to win.

But if you're not willing to
do the same for Lana...

maybe she doesn't mean as much
to you as you think.

Clark on steroids.

It's a little hard to picture.

It happens to a lot of guys.

Want so badly to outperform everyone,
before you know it, all they care about

is winning, no matter what the cost.

You're not responsible for Clark.

Actually I am.

Coach Quigley asked me to give him a drug
test, and I never mentioned it

to Clark, so I lied and
said it came back clean.

Why would you do that?

I don't know, cause I believe in Clark!
And because he knows about us.

I didn't want to stir the waters.
If he wanted to get back at me, all he

has to do is tell somebody at the school,
and I lose my job.

- Clark wouldn't make it personal.
- Why not?

I can't imagine what I'd do if someone
tried to take you away from me.

Nobody took me away from Clark, I left.

Right.

Clark's a big part of the reason why
I took off for Paris in the first place.

Oh, that must be from the book of things you
never want to hear about your girlfriend's Ex.

Look Jason, I'm with you now and I
couldn't be happier. And I know,

Clark can be unpredictable,

but he knows that you need
this job to stay in college.

I know it's hard because
you've been so close to him...

But are you sure you really know him?

Don't get me wrong, Mikhail. I appreciate
your entrepreneurial ingenuity,

but importing Bookies tends to reflect
poorly on a company.

These are just fun games.

The I.N.S. isn't exactly renowned
for their good sportsmanship.

They're revoking your student visa
and sending you back home.

But a man like you could pull strings
to keep me here, yes?

If I wanted to.

But whatever talents my father
saw in you,

they're not worth the embarrassment you
bring to me and my company.

I've made the arrangements, you'll be
halfway across the Atlantic by morning.

You don't really want that.

You want to know why your Dad brought
me here.

Not that badly.

What if we make a wager?

Now why would I take a bet when
I can just have you thrown out of here?

Because I know gamblers better than
anybody. You're the caviar kind -

See when you hold everything in your
hand, the only thing that can give you a

thrill, is putting your chips on the
one thing that can

slip through your fingers.

And what would that one thing be, Mikhail?

Well in this case... Me.

How much do you believe in this
quarterback friend of yours, Clark Kent?

The Championship Game?

What's the wager?

If the Crows lose, you get Citizenship for
me, and $1 million dollars to start again.

And if the Crows win,

I have a hard time believing
you can cover that bet.

I can't. But the reason your
father brought me here is

far more valuable than just money.

Oh look. A real, live, American
football superhero.

What are you doing here?

I came here to thank you for ratting
me out to Lex.

It wasn't hard to figure out, I knew Chloe
would squeal, just not to him.

She's too proud.

You seemed to be the common denominator, so

you forget, games are my business,

so if you don't know the players,
you cannot guess the outcome.

I thought you'd be halfway back to the
"village of the damned" by now.

I'm not cursed, Clark.
I am lucky.

And on Saturday, the championship game,
I'm going to be very lucky.

If you think I'm going to lose
that game for you...

If... when there is an if, there are odds,
and I always beat the odds.

Choke.

For example, the odds in the championship
are based on you playing.

If you don't go out on the field, then my
profit margin takes an unfortunate turn.

That is why you're not going to tell
anyone else about me, and

you're going to be on that field.

Unless, you want to see more of your
buddies in the hospital.

Breathe.

- Chloe.
- Hey!

Clark, warm-up in 15 minutes.

I sure hope you had better luck with the
locusts than I did with Lex.

is born in truth, I did look up our
favorite apocalyptic critters.

Besides eating crops in a single bound,
what else can they do?

When locusts swarm, they emit an energy
wave to avoid crashing into each other.

Maybe Mikhail's commands operate on a
similar frequency, like a radio signal.

Or a dog whistle, the sound travels but
the human ear doesn't pick it up.

Yeah. What's interesting is once a locust's
signal is jammed, they can't fly anymore

without running into each other.
It's permanent.

Maybe all we have to do is find something
that will jam Mikhail's frequency for good.

And I think I know where to find that,
so now we just have to find him.

Knowing his quest for the American Dream,
he's got a lot of bets riding on this game,

He'll be here.

- Ok.
- I gotta go.

- Good Luck.
- Thanks.

Greetings Football fans, and welcome
to the Championship game between the

Topeka Valley Huskies, and your
Smallville Crows!

Clark.

What are you doing?

You know what Mikhail said. He'd hurt
those guys if I wasn't out there.

250 pound guys banging into each other on
a football field is one thing,

but getting hit by you is like getting hit
by a train, it's a big difference, son.

I hope that doesn't happen. I think Chloe
and I found a way to stop Mikhail.

Oh Chloe and You think you found a way to
stop. Well I'm sorry son,

- thinking is not good enough.
- Dad I know you don't agree with me,

but sometimes taking responsibility
means having faith in yourself to make

- the hard choices.
- It also means accepting the consequences.

Every handshake, every hug, every time
I'm out on that field I make the conscious

decision to fall when those guys hit me
so they don't get hurt.

No matter how hard you try,
you can't understand that.

That's why it's my decision, not yours.

You're starting to sound more
and more like your father.

I hope so, Dad.

Trip.

Alright, let's go, let's go.
Come on, come on!

Fumble.

I knew it was you Chloe!

Stop.

Looks like someone's been broken. Sucks
when you have to play fair doesn't it?

In my country, you don't survive if you
can't adapt to the unexpected.

1st down, the Huskies call
their last time-out!

Clark.

What are you doing here?

Here's how the last play in my game goes.

The Crows score another touchdown,
Chloe's dead.

If you don't go on the field right now,
and lose the game...

Chloe's dead.

Kent. Let's go.

We need an "Ace-back Montana Post".
This is it. It's for the title.

Crows have it 1st and 10 on
the 50-yard line.

5 seconds remaining on the clock.
Smallville has one more play.

Blue, 32!

Hut!

Touchdown! The Crows win!

Clark Kent makes another
unbelievable play!

Come on, man! We're missing the party!

Looks like championship quarterbacks
no longer have a curfew, huh?

I'm late...
Sorry.

Clark.

Your mother and I know that Mikhail
was arrested.

Now, when I was out on that same field,
all I had to worry about

was completing the next pass, or whether
or not I was going to get tackled.

We're very proud of you.

For everything.

- Hey you, come on. Night.
- Good night.

I don't know what it is with you, but no
matter how many times I put you in the

penalty box, it never sticks.

I hear you're quite the hero tonight,
Clark Kent.

Yeah well, if it wasn't for you,
we wouldn't have won the game.

Yeah well, you can thank Uncle Sam
for that.

My Uncle Sam.

It's amazing the access a 3-star-General
has to cool toys. And you never know when

a jamming device for Stealth Fighters
will come in handy in a football game!

Because of that jamming device, Mikhail
can't control anyone anymore.

Awesome.

But what I don't understand is how I
miraculously came untied.

And what I don't understand is how you got
sucked into anything besides anonymous tips.

Well, we all have our weaknesses, I guess.

Except for you, of course.

I think you'll find your new accommodations
a lot more comfortable than county lock-up.

And where are you taking me?

Don't worry.

You're going to have a lot of company.

I'm not worried, I have the feeling I
can learn a lot from you, but

I'm just sorry we can't make
good on our agreement.

You underestimate the value of my winnings.

I told you Mr. Luthor,
I've lost my talent.

Mikhail, if there's one thing I've learned

is that anything lost,
can be found again.

If you knew I had a special talent,
then why did you bet against me?

I didn't.

I bet on Clark Kent.

Like I said...

You're not alone.

Lana.

Where's Jason? I've been looking for him,
I actually left him 3 messages.

Yeah I know.

I thought he'd want to know that Metropolis
University offered me a scholarship.

That's great Clark.

One of the scouts he called saw me
in the game.

I wanted to thank him for trusting me.

Well it's too bad that you couldn't
return the favor.

Jason was fired this morning.

It's good to know the local football star
still has time for his friends.

I wouldn't put it like that.

Wild guess.

You're not talking about the
"football star" part.

Maybe I wasn't clear.

But what you and I talk about is
supposed to stay between us.

I see.

So today I'm taking the role of the
despicable untrustworthy friend,

and as usual our hero is making the fatal flaw
of jumping to conclusions.

You're going to tell me you weren't
the one who got Jason fired?

A teacher-student liaison is a taboo
that's pretty hard to come back from.

Oh, you're going to take the moral
high ground on this?

Clark, I'd hate to see Lana's infatuation
earn her a "Scarlet Letter" around town.

Well she has you to thank for that!
Cause you and I were the only two who

knew about it, now everybody's talking.

You didn't do this to protect her.

You know Lana isn't meant to be with Jason.

Maybe a year ago, I would've believed that
you got him fired out of some twisted

loyalty for being my friend. But you
didn't do this for me.

Why did you do it?