Slow Horses (2022–…): Season 1, Episode 2 - Episode #1.2 - full transcript
Finally!
Couldn't face the idea of black tea.
You know it's a crime.
It's an absolute fucking crime.
Mate, I am a thirsty boy.
No, no. Hang on. Hang on. Not in those.
They're all cold and stewed, aren't they?
Why'd you leave 'em out then?
Because I thought you'd be quicker,
didn't I?
I had to go right down the high street.
Well, you know there's a corner shop
the other way, you dozy twat.
- Oh, Marek wouldn't like that.
- Oh, Marek wouldn't like that.
Who's Marek?
Spark we used to work with on the sites.
Polish.
Milk first and then tea.
How do you English not understand this?
It makes no difference,
but he'd lose his shit over it.
Hey. Of course it makes a difference,
you fucking ponce.
Bag, water, milk, in that fucking order.
Yes?
A lot of Poles on your sites?
Poles, Bulgarians, dirty little Romanians,
the lot.
- Swarming.
- It's like a fucking refugee camp.
No, hang on. You don't want one, do you?
Nah. Hair of the dog, mate.
Well, you must really hate your kidneys.
Here he is. Sleeping beauty.
Morning. Sorry, I crashed.
- Kettle's just boiled if you want one.
- And we have milk.
- You been out then?
- No, he's lactating.
Fucking daytime TV.
I wish we'd brought a PlayStation
or something.
Hey. I'll tell you what, man.
I am a demon at FIFA.
- No, you're not.
- Nah.
Call of Duty, that's the one.
I'd take you all down.
This isn't a stag weekend.
Yeah, but you're only saying that because
you're scared that he is gonna beat you.
You think I'm scared of
an armchair soldier?
I've done it for real, mate.
Served my country.
How many people have you killed?
You mean in the game, like?
Fuck "in the game."
How's that count?
What's that mean?
How many people have you killed?
Well, how many people have you killed?
Five for sure. They were up close.
Watched the life drain out their eyes.
Maybe eight, nine more.
Sometimes you don't stop to count.
Just hit a million views.
- Yes. Ha!
- Yeah.
Cooking. I reckon five
will tune in for the main event.
Anyone check on him?
Why?
Just don't hear nothing, that's all.
- Can't fucking talk, can he? Why do you care so much?
- Can't fucking talk, can he? Why do you care so much?
Well, you wouldn't want him
to have an heart attack, would you?
Might complicate things.
Fine, I'll go.
Any love letters
you want me to pass along?
Fuck off.
Don't be a ponce.
Probably.
I'm gonna take the tape off your mouth.
But we can hear everything upstairs.
You need something, ask softly.
You shout for help,
them lights will go from green to red,
and I'll come down, and I'll kick
your fucking bollocks off. Got it?
Please, I-let me go.
I can't. You're dangerous.
I've seen what your lot are capable of.
I left good friends in Afghan
'cause of you.
So tomorrow morning,
at sunrise,
you're gonna kneel on the floor there,
we'll have our camera,
and then... Well,
you people are the experts, aren't you?
We're gonna cut your head off.
Is there anything to suggest
we can expect further such attacks
or is this, in essence, believed to be
an isolated incident?
This video last night,
in which they made a threat…
One minute. Thank you.
- …authorities are aware of, but we have decided not to broadcast.
- …authorities are aware of, but we have decided not to broadcast.
- Good morning, gentlemen.
- Morning, Diana.
So this is a fast-moving situation,
so I will update you with what I know.
Should we not wait for Tearney?
No offense, Diana, but when I relay this
to the Home Secretary...
I thought you were aware that our
First Desk is in Washington this week.
- I was not aware.
- Ingrid is incredibly busy, Roger.
As are you. Do you really need to be
across the minutiae of her schedule?
I'm sure we all know how capable
a Second Desk Diana is. Diana.
Thank you, Leonard.
The hostage is Hassan Ahmed.
He was born in Birmingham.
His grandparents arrived here
in the early '70s.
Uh, he is the youngest of four children.
He's in his second year
at Leeds University,
studying business management.
He shares a flat
with three other students.
No known girlfriend or boyfriend.
Uh, he's a cricketer.
His family are Muslim.
And before going to university,
he attended the local mosque,
- which is not on any of our watch lists.
- Which is not on any of our watch lists.
Uh, he no longer appears to attend,
but his family still go.
In short, he is nothing other
than what he appears to be.
A law-abiding, British-Asian student.
The kidnappers call themselves
the Sons of Albion.
They've been on our radar
for about a year,
and there have been murmurs that
something like this was on the horizon.
Point of order. Murmurs and horizons
are so vague as to seem unhelpful, Diana.
Sources and methods, Roger.
Outside of the sphere of this committee,
Roger. You know that.
- We monitor results, not process.
- And do you have a source in the group?
That would fall under process.
What I can say is that
there are 17 such right-wing groups
on our radar right now.
We've been saying for some time
that with more resources,
we could have them all
under proper surveillance
and stop this kind of thing
from getting off the ground.
The Home Office will back you.
But the Treasury may add that you've
already had a considerable increase,
with little increase in results.
We have had an increase
to monitor jihadi groups.
Unfortunately,
- we were looking one way when we should have been looking both.
- We were looking one way when we should have been looking both.
He's landed, ma'am.
Gentlemen, I need to be somewhere else.
I'm sure you'll understand.
And immediately after that, I'll need
to contact the Pakistani ambassador.
It appears this wasn't
the random snatch we thought.
Oh, there's no sign of Cartwright,
and he's not answering his phone.
What's wrong?
The fact that you're still here
talking to me, for starters.
No, it's mid-morning,
and you haven't had a drink yet.
Why, in the old days you'd be
on your third stomach pump by now.
That's your first taunt
of the morning. You're slipping.
- Something's definitely up.
- Something's definitely up.
Oh. It's a bit late for getting good
at spotting your boss's moods.
This shouldn't be in here.
When Cartwright comes back,
tie him to his desk by his bollocks.
I want my people in here, doing nothing.
- Geez.
- Mmm.
Christ.
Do... Do you do that thing here
where you burn ear hair out,
because that is definitely
where I'd focus next.
That is... That's a two-week job, that.
Ooh, envy.
Can't afford places like this
on a Slough House salary, can you, River?
No, that's true. But then again, I don't
need to come to a place like this.
- I've learned how to shave myself.
- Then you don't need to be here, do you?
Oh, no, I do, because I want to know
what was on Hobden's USB stick.
- Gino, I need a moment.
- Of course, sir.
Thanks.
What the fuck are you playing at?
That's classified.
Is it something to do with the kidnapping?
I refer you to my previous answer.
Okay, look, I get it.
We're just slow horses. We're grunts.
It's just good to get feedback
when we've done a nice job.
Of course you didn't do a good job.
You're slow fucking horses.
Thank you.
For what?
For letting me know
there's nothing useful on the stick.
- No, I... I didn't. I didn't.
- Oh, yes, you did. Yes, you did.
And besides, to me it looked like it was
just pi to a million decimal points.
You twat! You looked at it!
Have fun with Sweeney Todd.
Charles?
Morning, Charles.
Charles.
Charles?
He's in the bath.
You are?
Lamb.
Morning, Catherine. Think I heard you
shouting about breakfast.
Jackson.
I thought you were in Berlin.
Berlin's blown.
Steve, there have been
no further statements from the kidnappers
since their initial broadcast threats.
- Are we any closer to identifying the man being held?
- Are we any closer to identifying the man being held?
My understanding is that the security
services have now confirmed his identity,
but are not releasing it to the media.
Ooh. Catherine, how goes it?
It goes.
I wondered if you might wish to partake
of some charity. Raffle tickets.
It's for a good cause.
It's my daughter's school.
My purse is upstairs.
I trust you. Oh, it's four for a fiver,
but ten for a tenner.
- Just four.
- No. You'll want to go to ten.
First prize is a spa day.
- You wouldn't want to miss out on that.
- Four.
- Check something for me.
- On the clock, yeah?
River.
Catherine.
Where were you?
Uh, just getting some air.
We have air in here.
Yeah, well, it's pretty fetid.
Lamb wants everyone at their desks.
Sure, yeah. I've just, um...
I've got a bit of an IT issue
- that Roddy is helping me with. My, um, emails aren't syncing.
- That Roddy is helping me with. My, um, emails aren't syncing.
Well, back to your station,
once that's done.
Where's Moody?
- I'm not his...
- Bitch. Yes, got it.
Right. So, can you get
into Hobden's emails?
Of course I can. Question is, why would I?
Because you might help
to save that boy's life.
Yeah, but I don't know that kid.
And it's not like the Park will give us
a bonus or a medal for helping out. So…
Oh, Roddy, Roddy, Roddy.
Why exactly did you join
the service again, Roddy?
Because the service wanted me
inside the tent, pissing out.
This is a bigger ask than checking
a USB stick. Money won't cut it.
Okay. Well,
maybe do it
because I have something that you want.
I know why you're in Slough House.
No, you don't.
Yes, I do.
Impossible.
The answer to that conundrum
has eluded the finest mind in MI5.
And the finest mind being you?
- Right. Of course.
- Yeah.
Yeah. And if I can't crack that puzzle…
…how could you?
Because you don't have a grandfather
who used to be high-up in the service.
You better not be bluffing.
Yeah,
'cause I'm gonna try and bluff you.
You're Roddy, McRodster, the Hot Rod.
- You could take me apart online. Come on.
- Take you apart in a way
- no one could put you back together.
- I know.
It scares me.
It should only take a few seconds.
Good, man.
My fingers are weapons.
My thumb is more powerful than Nero's.
Did he have a strong thumb, did he?
Thumb up or thumb down determined
whether you lived or died in the arena.
- Oh, right, I didn't know that.
- And in the online arena,
- I am somewhere between an emperor and a god.
- I am somewhere between an emperor and a god.
Yeah, I can't do it.
You just claimed to be a god, Roddy.
Well, even gods have blind spots.
What... What... What's the blind spot?
He's air gapped.
Right. What's "air gapped"?
He's not online.
Right. So he has to be online
for you to hack his emails?
No, he doesn't use emails.
He's got no online presence at all.
Nothing in the cloud, no social media.
He's old-school. He's keeping it analog.
Keeping it real.
Right. I know for a fact
he's got a computer.
He can have a computer, but he doesn't
send email or back it up online.
Right, so the only way to find out what's
on his laptop is to grab his laptop.
- Yeah.
- Right, cool.
Yeah, but you'd have to be quick about it.
A guy that security conscious
probably has a thermite pot.
All right, what's that?
It's a pot filled with thermite.
Yes, I got that bit.
Thermite's made up of aluminium,
iron oxide and a thin strip of magnesium.
You stick it in a clay pot,
set it on top of your laptop or desktop,
pigs kick the door down,
you ignite the strip,
mix burns through the hard drive.
You know that technically we're the pigs.
I'm from the streets.
Sometimes I talk street.
- Okay. Thanks, Roddy.
- Hey!
You're supposed to tell me why I'm here.
Well, deal was you got me
into Hobden's emails, and you didn't.
So, next time.
Fair play.
River's back.
Where was he?
He said he went out for some air.
I didn't push it.
The rest are accounted for, except Moody.
You're... You're not just worried
about River though, are you?
Do you think it's a coincidence
that Diana Taverner
ran a special op on a right-wing reject
just as some prick nationalists
kidnapped a brown kid?
- Well...
- That was rhetorical.
I can also tell you
that a multi-agency response
is being coordinated, involving…
The kidnappers
have threatened to execute him,
with the authorities no closer
to identifying his location.
The number of views of the video
now stands at one million…
…and this figure is rising rapidly.
We're due to hear shortly
from a spokesperson
from the Metropolitan Police's
counter-terrorism unit
on their response to the video.
I keep checking the news,
but there's no actual news.
Yeah, well, the Park
will have imposed a blackout.
Yeah, I know.
You sorting that into recycling piles or…
Where'd you go earlier?
I wanted to find out if what you
downloaded from Hobden's USB stick
was what the Park was looking for.
But it wasn't.
Think you'll find
what they were looking for in there?
You don't wanna know what I'm doing.
Probably get me kicked out for good.
River, is it really worth it?
I can't just sit around
and do nothing, Sid.
I've got one lead,
and yes, it might be bullshit.
But I have to follow it.
Otherwise, what good am I?
Oh, um, I will clean that up. I promise.
Just don't let anyone touch it.
Ma'am.
Mr. Moody. Sit down quickly.
You've seen the news. I'm rather pressed.
You bothered my head of security
last night.
Yeah, well, he's an old friend.
Well, I'm sure he is.
You told him Jackson Lamb
is running an op.
Well, Duffy said he knew all about it.
But I knew he was bluffing 'cause he
didn't know that Sid Baker's a girl.
She's a woman
and twice the agent you are.
I spent six years as a Dog.
Oh, for God's sake, do shut up.
What I want to know is,
how did you find out about it?
About what, ma'am?
You're mistaking this for a conversation.
When I ask for information, you give it.
- Don't play dumb.
- Don't play dumb.
Don't lie. Clear?
I gave Lamb a specific instruction.
Why were you in on the loop?
Doesn't respect you.
Wouldn't confide in you.
Do you remember the bit about not lying?
There's a bug.
Are you seriously telling me you planted
a bug in Jackson Lamb's office?
- I never trusted that lazy bastard.
- Jesus Christ.
- It's not like it was a personal thing.
- Why didn't the sweeps pick it up?
Oh, don't tell me you do the sweeping.
Jesus Christ.
What else do you lot get up to
over there in toy town?
I guess it was force of habit.
I used to be one of the Dogs.
Oh, really? You didn't mention that.
And he doesn't give me anything to do.
Or at least anything that matters.
He's just taking the piss.
So I wanted to see if I could get
anything on him, and I have.
The burnt-out twat.
If he ever wants to get out,
I know exactly how he'll do it.
I know where he'll go and under what name.
- Here's what's gonna happen.
- Here's what's gonna happen.
You are going to do me a couple of favors
off the record,
which means that if anything
goes even slightly wrong,
I'll have never have heard of you.
Understood?
Incoming only. And dump the bug.
Slough House may be a dead end,
but it's part of the service.
If it gets out it's been compromised,
your former chums in the Dogs
will tear you apart.
Oh, and, Moody, a word of warning.
Lamb's a burnout for a reason.
When he was in the field, he had more
to worry about than screwups like you.
He risked being caught,
tortured and shot, and he survived.
Might want to bear that in mind.
Well, I'm joined now by our home
security correspondent Derek Rothery.
What can you tell us
about the investigation so far?
West Yorkshire police have now confirmed
they're involved in the investigation.
- This follows contact…
- Turn it down.
…with Hassan Ahmed's family.
Just the same shit over and over again.
This is our big moment.
We've got the whole world looking for us.
Do we have any information
on why Mr. Ahmed might have been taken?
- -Fucking... - We don't. Now, it might be…
- -Fucking... - We don't. Now, it might be…
You know you can't say a word
about this once it's done, yeah?
We never knew each other.
We were never here.
Yeah.
- Please.
- Yeah, I'm proud of what we're doing
- for our country.
- I need the toilet.
- But I won't say nothing.
- No, you won't.
'Cause if you do, I'll fucking find you.
Look, I-I really need to go.
Let him shit himself.
- Hey, tell you what.
- Hello?
He'll be shitting himself in the morning.
- Please.
- I'll take him to the toilet.
Just now,
you were getting off on the world
- wanting to know who we are.
- I really need…
You want them to know
you leapt up to wipe a Muslim's arse?
I didn't leap up.
Go find a bucket or summat.
He's not using our toilet.
Go on.
Where is it then?
Couldn't find a bucket.
I think there's a bucket
in the back garden, you know?
We don't know if this individual
was a person
known to the police
or the security guards.
- I'll do it then, shall I?
- But it is quite usual
in terror-related incidents
for the authorities
to refrain from sharing information
which they think might jeopardize the…
But there is a significant police
presence in the area today, which…
How was he, ma'am?
If you're talking about Mr. Moody,
it's between him and me.
Pakistani ambassador was not best pleased.
I hear there's been a breakthrough.
- Well, not quite a breakthrough, ma'am, but we think he's being held in London.
- Well, not quite a breakthrough, ma'am, but we think he's being held in London.
- Because?
- It's London brick, in the basement.
We presume it's a basement.
No light, bare walls.
- Built in London brick?
- Yeah.
So you've narrowed it down to one
in three and a half million houses.
No, no. Uh, lower than that.
See, the age and style of the pointing
means we can limit it to certain areas.
Victorian, before the mass expansion.
Hmm. Well, keep going.
I want an address, not a census.
Anything new on the feed?
Um, what they did with the original upload
was a quite sophisticated bounce back,
and the live feed's off-line now.
When they come back online,
it will be to execute him.
So find out
where they're broadcasting from.
I need to update the Foreign Office,
and I want you to run through
all the extraction options.
- Yes, ma'am.
- No one goes home,
and anyone home on leave,
you pull them straight back.
You can use that.
- Oh, no.
- Relax.
Choppy choppy
isn't until tomorrow morning.
- And then we fight back for our country.
- I'm... I'm British.
What?
'Cause you passed the citizenship test?
No, no, no. I was born here just like you.
- My... My family moved...
- It's not the same.
Jesus was born in a stable.
That don't make him a fucking donkey. Up.
Hands together.
Listen, please.
Feet together.
Don't you fucking move!
There you go.
You can use your toilet whenever you like.
You think Churchill would be proud
of what you're doing?
You what?
Beheading me in cold blood.
- You're a coward.
- You're a coward.
You wanna talk about cowardice?
You can't even go on a pub stage.
Was that your dream?
Well, it's too late now.
Boo!
Fuck's sake.
It's Robert Hobden for Nick Drew.
Well, when did he leave? No, never mind.
Can you just put me through
to whoever's on the news desk?
I'm sorry,
I can't leave a number.
I'll... I'll call back.
Hello, it's Robert Hobden again.
Is Kate Draper out of her meeting yet?
It's a bloody long meeting.
Oh, it's a different meeting, is it?
It's Robert Hobden for Peter Judd.
No, well, then I'll call again. And again.
Hey, your change.
Five years, and he's never left a tip.
Well, it's your lucky day.
Standish!
Yeah, I... I'd hang back
if I were you. I've... God.
I have just let one rip.
It's a killer.
Get me Taverner on the phone.
Catherine, you said later.
And later it now is.
Give me a minute.
Boss man?
Oh, piss off.
Will do, shortly.
After I've collected tax
from Ms. Standish.
Oh, connecting you now.
Dickhead, I have a call.
Diana?
Who? Who the fuck are you?
Well, if she can't come to the phone,
take the fucking phone to her.
- Ah, you went for ten after all.
- Yeah.
The message is,
"Call me urgently.
I have the results of your test."
Makes up for River leaving early
without a purchase.
Yeah. Uh, just get her to fucking call me.
Uh, when exactly did Cartwright leave?
I don't know exactly. About two hours ago?
Just before Sid.
All right. Well, fuck off.
Jesus, this time tomorrow morning.
Yeah, we'll be back here.
Same shit, different...
You... You mean the hostage.
Of course, um, well, the... the...
They'll find him before then, won't they?
I mean, they have to.
Yeah, let's hope so.
You doing anything tonight?
I'm praying for a lottery win.
But I mean, that's not, you know,
necessarily location specific.
I... I could do that on... on the move.
Hey, you two flakies.
You forgetting we have a date tonight?
Shit. Sorry, Struan,
um, I've double-booked.
I'm meeting a friend tonight now. Sorry.
You met a friend last night too.
It's good to be popular. Min?
Clare's texted.
Her sister's having a mare.
Um, splitting up with her boyfriend.
So, yeah, I'm on full-on dad duty tonight.
- Very well. We had such a laugh last time we went for a drink.
- Very well. We had such a laugh last time we went for a drink.
We must do it again at some point.
Oh, absolutely.
Let's do Christmas drinks.
It's February.
What the hell are you doing here?
I could ask you the same thing.
Thought you might want a coffee.
You didn't have any in the café.
Sorry, have you been following me?
You'd better hope not.
Because that'd mean I tracked you halfway
across London without you noticing.
- Ah, Jesus Christ.
- I thought you were good at this.
- Maybe that story about you tailing Taverner is just a myth.
- Maybe that story about you tailing Taverner is just a myth.
That... Uh, no. Not a myth,
actually. That really did happen.
Mmm.
I was assigned to follow the Shadow
Minister for Education as an exercise.
But then he had a heart attack
the night before.
So I followed Taverner instead.
And I watched her do everything.
Everything.
Gym, breakfast, office,
gym again at lunch.
I got within 10 feet and she never knew.
Well, not until I showed her
the photographs the next day.
And that bit about her applauding you?
People have made more of that than
it warranted. It was just three claps.
You should be applauding me. I kept an eye
on Hobden while you went to get your car.
I should be applau...
I would have stuck out,
standing around on the street.
Well, I didn't.
But then, as we've established,
I am better at surveillance than you.
That's just... Depends how you look at it.
Come on.
Unbelievable.
You love it when I'm hard on you.
So, what did you find in Hobden's rubbish
that put you in spy mode?
Ho predicted that Hobden would've made
something called a thermite pot,
which is basically a geek way
for the clinically paranoid
to burn the computer to ash.
And I found some steel wool
and rusting coffee filters in his rubbish.
He'd been making iron oxide.
It's one of the ingredients for thermite.
So he's got something on his hard drive
- he doesn't want anyone to find?
- Mmm.
That is disgusting.
That'd be the arsenic.
How'd you get Ho to help?
I promised I'd tell him
why he's in Slough House.
- Do you know?
- I do, yeah. Do you?
Mm-hmm.
Well, anyway, uh,
he couldn't do what I asked him,
which was to hack into Hobden's email,
so I didn't have to tell him.
Would you have told him?
Yeah, he wants to know.
- How would you have told him?
- I don't know. With words.
- Okay. Pretend I'm Roddy Ho, and you tell me that the reason
- Okay. Pretend I'm Roddy Ho, and you tell me that the reason
I've been shipped out to Slough House
is because I'm an insufferable prick.
- I got moved…
- I'd sugarcoat it.
…from every department I worked in in MI5
and Slough House was the only place left.
But if he had gotten me
into Hobden's emails,
- can we agree that would've been useful?
- That...
He once put someone
on the sex offenders register
because they nicked his seat on a bus.
I didn't have to tell him.
- Imagine what he'd do to you.
- So why are we arguing about this?
Do you think Roddy could find out
why Lamb is in Slough House?
No. Otherwise he would've already done it.
Hmm.
Why are you here, Sid?
Not in the car, at Slough House.
I thought Slough House was like prison.
You're not supposed to ask
what you're in for.
Well, you know why I'm there.
Yeah, but everybody knows
why you're there.
I was gonna give you a compliment,
but you can shove it now.
Suit yourself.
I get enough flattery from Lamb.
- --But that's what I mean.
- --But that's what I mean.
He can see that you're not
like the others.
Because you're not.
I mean, Min,
Struan,
Roddy,
maybe not Louisa, but definitely Moody,
they were always headed for the skids.
They're useless, but you're…
You know, it just doesn't make sense.
But, um, whatever the reason
for being put in Slough House,
it must've... must've come out of nowhere,
right?
Yeah.
Yeah, it did, and it's just…
Just none of your business.
Okay.
- So how long are you gonna sit here for?
- Just until Hobden goes to sleep.
Then I'm gonna go in there and find out
what's on that laptop
he's been carrying around all day.
- Hiya.
- You all right, love?
- Yeah, can I get a vodka soda, please?
- Yep, ice and slice?
Yes, please.
I'm just gonna be round there.
All right.
Thought you were babysitting.
Thought you were meeting a friend.
Poor Struan.
- Yeah, if he saw us here, I think he'd cry.
- Yeah, if he saw us here, I think he'd cry.
You're not going home, then?
Uh, well, no. I thought I'd just
decompress a bit first, you know.
Yeah. Fair enough.
It's been, uh, one hell of a day
protecting the nation.
Imagine the consequences
if I didn't turn up for work, eh?
Thanks.
Well, then I'd be left alone with Struan.
So please keep showing up.
You should get danger money for that.
So I'm assuming you didn't have a friend
around last night either, then?
Mm-mmm.
You know,
I don't actually have any friends.
No, I mean that I have, uh...
I have people that I know,
but, like, no one that I can talk to.
Not... Not about work anyway.
Do you not stay in touch with any
of your old colleagues from the Park?
Mm-mmm. No, they kinda shunned me.
Well, I wasn't just shunned.
I was shamed by everyone
after… you know.
- You left a top secret file on a train.
- You left a top secret file on a train.
Yes.
That.
I was shaving in the bathroom,
listening to the radio,
when it hit the headlines that…
Well, the file had been found
by a member of the public.
And, uh, Clare just said,
"What fool did that?"
And I just started crying.
Uh, I thought maybe she'd hug me.
But nah. She didn't.
She just said…
… "Min, you fucking idiot."
Wow. That's, um…
And, uh,
- are things okay now between you two?
- Oh, God, yeah. I'm getting divorced.
I guess she saw me differently after that.
And you let us all think
you had a home life.
- Well, yeah. I mean, I keep up the lie partly because I don't want to accept it.
- Well, yeah. I mean, I keep up the lie partly because I don't want to accept it.
Partly because I do not wanna give Lamb
any more ammo.
And, well, perhaps most importantly,
because it stops me
having to go to the pub with Struan.
I mean, oh, my God.
Oh.
- He makes me yearn for Alan Black.
- Yeah.
Black was like Struan with depression,
but at least he didn't, you know,
wanna try and continue talking after work.
He's just so freaking keen. He's like…
- Yeah.
- …you know, "Let's do a monthly dinner."
"Let's go paintballing." "Let's…"
So I guess we'd say
to those who have taken him…
Please, he's done no harm to you.
Just... Just let him go.
The police are now saying
the threat to Leeds University student
Hassan...
Get me Ho.
I think he's gone.
Then get him back.
Who was Hobden trying to call?
Just a bunch of right-leaning editors
and journalists,
but none of them took his calls.
But he rang Peter Judd seven times.
Ugh, Judd is the worst.
Yeah.
Hello?
I... I can't talk at the moment.
- No, I'm watching him right now.
- Update me later.
I will, but I have... I have to go.
Okay.
Who's Aunt Zadie?
Um…
There is no Aunt Zadie.
I put that in
so if anyone got into my phone,
they wouldn't know
who I'd been talking to.
Wait, well, who were you talking to then?
Someone who knows
you're watching Robert Hobden?
That's not what I said.
Yes, you did.
You just said, "I'm watching him now."
Listen… There's a reason I didn't
tell you why I'm in Slough House.
No, no, no. Sid… …really,
seriously, you don't have to tell me why.
It's not for something you did in the
field, because you're a brilliant agent.
Kind-of-brilliant agent.
So it's obviously something to do
with your personal life,
- -which is none of my business. -No. River, it is your business. I…
- -Which is none of my business. -No. River, it is your business. I…
I didn't just follow you here today.
That was Taverner,
and I wasn't telling her
I was watching Hobden.
I was telling her I was watching you.
Are you being serious?
You're watching me for Taverner?
Wha...
Why would she want you watching me?
Look, I don't know, but it's the reason
why I've been sent to Slough House.
To... To... To keep an eye on you.
You're kidding, right?
No.
No, I'm not. I'm... Uh.
Shit.
Shit. Look.
I'll cover the front.
Stop it!
Please. Please.
Get him off me. Get him off me!
Listen to me.
Let him go and put the gun down.
Armed response are two minutes out.
If they see you with a gun,
they're just gonna kill you.
- Did you hear me?
- What do you want?
Put the gun down.
Sid.
Sid, are you hit?
Sid? Shit, shit, shit, shit.
All right. Okay, okay, okay.
Sid, stay with me. Sid.
Yeah, I need an ambulance.
NW1, Maythorpe Road.
Yeah, gunshot wound to the head.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You'll see me, you'll see me.
Just hurry up. All right.
Sid?
Couldn't face the idea of black tea.
You know it's a crime.
It's an absolute fucking crime.
Mate, I am a thirsty boy.
No, no. Hang on. Hang on. Not in those.
They're all cold and stewed, aren't they?
Why'd you leave 'em out then?
Because I thought you'd be quicker,
didn't I?
I had to go right down the high street.
Well, you know there's a corner shop
the other way, you dozy twat.
- Oh, Marek wouldn't like that.
- Oh, Marek wouldn't like that.
Who's Marek?
Spark we used to work with on the sites.
Polish.
Milk first and then tea.
How do you English not understand this?
It makes no difference,
but he'd lose his shit over it.
Hey. Of course it makes a difference,
you fucking ponce.
Bag, water, milk, in that fucking order.
Yes?
A lot of Poles on your sites?
Poles, Bulgarians, dirty little Romanians,
the lot.
- Swarming.
- It's like a fucking refugee camp.
No, hang on. You don't want one, do you?
Nah. Hair of the dog, mate.
Well, you must really hate your kidneys.
Here he is. Sleeping beauty.
Morning. Sorry, I crashed.
- Kettle's just boiled if you want one.
- And we have milk.
- You been out then?
- No, he's lactating.
Fucking daytime TV.
I wish we'd brought a PlayStation
or something.
Hey. I'll tell you what, man.
I am a demon at FIFA.
- No, you're not.
- Nah.
Call of Duty, that's the one.
I'd take you all down.
This isn't a stag weekend.
Yeah, but you're only saying that because
you're scared that he is gonna beat you.
You think I'm scared of
an armchair soldier?
I've done it for real, mate.
Served my country.
How many people have you killed?
You mean in the game, like?
Fuck "in the game."
How's that count?
What's that mean?
How many people have you killed?
Well, how many people have you killed?
Five for sure. They were up close.
Watched the life drain out their eyes.
Maybe eight, nine more.
Sometimes you don't stop to count.
Just hit a million views.
- Yes. Ha!
- Yeah.
Cooking. I reckon five
will tune in for the main event.
Anyone check on him?
Why?
Just don't hear nothing, that's all.
- Can't fucking talk, can he? Why do you care so much?
- Can't fucking talk, can he? Why do you care so much?
Well, you wouldn't want him
to have an heart attack, would you?
Might complicate things.
Fine, I'll go.
Any love letters
you want me to pass along?
Fuck off.
Don't be a ponce.
Probably.
I'm gonna take the tape off your mouth.
But we can hear everything upstairs.
You need something, ask softly.
You shout for help,
them lights will go from green to red,
and I'll come down, and I'll kick
your fucking bollocks off. Got it?
Please, I-let me go.
I can't. You're dangerous.
I've seen what your lot are capable of.
I left good friends in Afghan
'cause of you.
So tomorrow morning,
at sunrise,
you're gonna kneel on the floor there,
we'll have our camera,
and then... Well,
you people are the experts, aren't you?
We're gonna cut your head off.
Is there anything to suggest
we can expect further such attacks
or is this, in essence, believed to be
an isolated incident?
This video last night,
in which they made a threat…
One minute. Thank you.
- …authorities are aware of, but we have decided not to broadcast.
- …authorities are aware of, but we have decided not to broadcast.
- Good morning, gentlemen.
- Morning, Diana.
So this is a fast-moving situation,
so I will update you with what I know.
Should we not wait for Tearney?
No offense, Diana, but when I relay this
to the Home Secretary...
I thought you were aware that our
First Desk is in Washington this week.
- I was not aware.
- Ingrid is incredibly busy, Roger.
As are you. Do you really need to be
across the minutiae of her schedule?
I'm sure we all know how capable
a Second Desk Diana is. Diana.
Thank you, Leonard.
The hostage is Hassan Ahmed.
He was born in Birmingham.
His grandparents arrived here
in the early '70s.
Uh, he is the youngest of four children.
He's in his second year
at Leeds University,
studying business management.
He shares a flat
with three other students.
No known girlfriend or boyfriend.
Uh, he's a cricketer.
His family are Muslim.
And before going to university,
he attended the local mosque,
- which is not on any of our watch lists.
- Which is not on any of our watch lists.
Uh, he no longer appears to attend,
but his family still go.
In short, he is nothing other
than what he appears to be.
A law-abiding, British-Asian student.
The kidnappers call themselves
the Sons of Albion.
They've been on our radar
for about a year,
and there have been murmurs that
something like this was on the horizon.
Point of order. Murmurs and horizons
are so vague as to seem unhelpful, Diana.
Sources and methods, Roger.
Outside of the sphere of this committee,
Roger. You know that.
- We monitor results, not process.
- And do you have a source in the group?
That would fall under process.
What I can say is that
there are 17 such right-wing groups
on our radar right now.
We've been saying for some time
that with more resources,
we could have them all
under proper surveillance
and stop this kind of thing
from getting off the ground.
The Home Office will back you.
But the Treasury may add that you've
already had a considerable increase,
with little increase in results.
We have had an increase
to monitor jihadi groups.
Unfortunately,
- we were looking one way when we should have been looking both.
- We were looking one way when we should have been looking both.
He's landed, ma'am.
Gentlemen, I need to be somewhere else.
I'm sure you'll understand.
And immediately after that, I'll need
to contact the Pakistani ambassador.
It appears this wasn't
the random snatch we thought.
Oh, there's no sign of Cartwright,
and he's not answering his phone.
What's wrong?
The fact that you're still here
talking to me, for starters.
No, it's mid-morning,
and you haven't had a drink yet.
Why, in the old days you'd be
on your third stomach pump by now.
That's your first taunt
of the morning. You're slipping.
- Something's definitely up.
- Something's definitely up.
Oh. It's a bit late for getting good
at spotting your boss's moods.
This shouldn't be in here.
When Cartwright comes back,
tie him to his desk by his bollocks.
I want my people in here, doing nothing.
- Geez.
- Mmm.
Christ.
Do... Do you do that thing here
where you burn ear hair out,
because that is definitely
where I'd focus next.
That is... That's a two-week job, that.
Ooh, envy.
Can't afford places like this
on a Slough House salary, can you, River?
No, that's true. But then again, I don't
need to come to a place like this.
- I've learned how to shave myself.
- Then you don't need to be here, do you?
Oh, no, I do, because I want to know
what was on Hobden's USB stick.
- Gino, I need a moment.
- Of course, sir.
Thanks.
What the fuck are you playing at?
That's classified.
Is it something to do with the kidnapping?
I refer you to my previous answer.
Okay, look, I get it.
We're just slow horses. We're grunts.
It's just good to get feedback
when we've done a nice job.
Of course you didn't do a good job.
You're slow fucking horses.
Thank you.
For what?
For letting me know
there's nothing useful on the stick.
- No, I... I didn't. I didn't.
- Oh, yes, you did. Yes, you did.
And besides, to me it looked like it was
just pi to a million decimal points.
You twat! You looked at it!
Have fun with Sweeney Todd.
Charles?
Morning, Charles.
Charles.
Charles?
He's in the bath.
You are?
Lamb.
Morning, Catherine. Think I heard you
shouting about breakfast.
Jackson.
I thought you were in Berlin.
Berlin's blown.
Steve, there have been
no further statements from the kidnappers
since their initial broadcast threats.
- Are we any closer to identifying the man being held?
- Are we any closer to identifying the man being held?
My understanding is that the security
services have now confirmed his identity,
but are not releasing it to the media.
Ooh. Catherine, how goes it?
It goes.
I wondered if you might wish to partake
of some charity. Raffle tickets.
It's for a good cause.
It's my daughter's school.
My purse is upstairs.
I trust you. Oh, it's four for a fiver,
but ten for a tenner.
- Just four.
- No. You'll want to go to ten.
First prize is a spa day.
- You wouldn't want to miss out on that.
- Four.
- Check something for me.
- On the clock, yeah?
River.
Catherine.
Where were you?
Uh, just getting some air.
We have air in here.
Yeah, well, it's pretty fetid.
Lamb wants everyone at their desks.
Sure, yeah. I've just, um...
I've got a bit of an IT issue
- that Roddy is helping me with. My, um, emails aren't syncing.
- That Roddy is helping me with. My, um, emails aren't syncing.
Well, back to your station,
once that's done.
Where's Moody?
- I'm not his...
- Bitch. Yes, got it.
Right. So, can you get
into Hobden's emails?
Of course I can. Question is, why would I?
Because you might help
to save that boy's life.
Yeah, but I don't know that kid.
And it's not like the Park will give us
a bonus or a medal for helping out. So…
Oh, Roddy, Roddy, Roddy.
Why exactly did you join
the service again, Roddy?
Because the service wanted me
inside the tent, pissing out.
This is a bigger ask than checking
a USB stick. Money won't cut it.
Okay. Well,
maybe do it
because I have something that you want.
I know why you're in Slough House.
No, you don't.
Yes, I do.
Impossible.
The answer to that conundrum
has eluded the finest mind in MI5.
And the finest mind being you?
- Right. Of course.
- Yeah.
Yeah. And if I can't crack that puzzle…
…how could you?
Because you don't have a grandfather
who used to be high-up in the service.
You better not be bluffing.
Yeah,
'cause I'm gonna try and bluff you.
You're Roddy, McRodster, the Hot Rod.
- You could take me apart online. Come on.
- Take you apart in a way
- no one could put you back together.
- I know.
It scares me.
It should only take a few seconds.
Good, man.
My fingers are weapons.
My thumb is more powerful than Nero's.
Did he have a strong thumb, did he?
Thumb up or thumb down determined
whether you lived or died in the arena.
- Oh, right, I didn't know that.
- And in the online arena,
- I am somewhere between an emperor and a god.
- I am somewhere between an emperor and a god.
Yeah, I can't do it.
You just claimed to be a god, Roddy.
Well, even gods have blind spots.
What... What... What's the blind spot?
He's air gapped.
Right. What's "air gapped"?
He's not online.
Right. So he has to be online
for you to hack his emails?
No, he doesn't use emails.
He's got no online presence at all.
Nothing in the cloud, no social media.
He's old-school. He's keeping it analog.
Keeping it real.
Right. I know for a fact
he's got a computer.
He can have a computer, but he doesn't
send email or back it up online.
Right, so the only way to find out what's
on his laptop is to grab his laptop.
- Yeah.
- Right, cool.
Yeah, but you'd have to be quick about it.
A guy that security conscious
probably has a thermite pot.
All right, what's that?
It's a pot filled with thermite.
Yes, I got that bit.
Thermite's made up of aluminium,
iron oxide and a thin strip of magnesium.
You stick it in a clay pot,
set it on top of your laptop or desktop,
pigs kick the door down,
you ignite the strip,
mix burns through the hard drive.
You know that technically we're the pigs.
I'm from the streets.
Sometimes I talk street.
- Okay. Thanks, Roddy.
- Hey!
You're supposed to tell me why I'm here.
Well, deal was you got me
into Hobden's emails, and you didn't.
So, next time.
Fair play.
River's back.
Where was he?
He said he went out for some air.
I didn't push it.
The rest are accounted for, except Moody.
You're... You're not just worried
about River though, are you?
Do you think it's a coincidence
that Diana Taverner
ran a special op on a right-wing reject
just as some prick nationalists
kidnapped a brown kid?
- Well...
- That was rhetorical.
I can also tell you
that a multi-agency response
is being coordinated, involving…
The kidnappers
have threatened to execute him,
with the authorities no closer
to identifying his location.
The number of views of the video
now stands at one million…
…and this figure is rising rapidly.
We're due to hear shortly
from a spokesperson
from the Metropolitan Police's
counter-terrorism unit
on their response to the video.
I keep checking the news,
but there's no actual news.
Yeah, well, the Park
will have imposed a blackout.
Yeah, I know.
You sorting that into recycling piles or…
Where'd you go earlier?
I wanted to find out if what you
downloaded from Hobden's USB stick
was what the Park was looking for.
But it wasn't.
Think you'll find
what they were looking for in there?
You don't wanna know what I'm doing.
Probably get me kicked out for good.
River, is it really worth it?
I can't just sit around
and do nothing, Sid.
I've got one lead,
and yes, it might be bullshit.
But I have to follow it.
Otherwise, what good am I?
Oh, um, I will clean that up. I promise.
Just don't let anyone touch it.
Ma'am.
Mr. Moody. Sit down quickly.
You've seen the news. I'm rather pressed.
You bothered my head of security
last night.
Yeah, well, he's an old friend.
Well, I'm sure he is.
You told him Jackson Lamb
is running an op.
Well, Duffy said he knew all about it.
But I knew he was bluffing 'cause he
didn't know that Sid Baker's a girl.
She's a woman
and twice the agent you are.
I spent six years as a Dog.
Oh, for God's sake, do shut up.
What I want to know is,
how did you find out about it?
About what, ma'am?
You're mistaking this for a conversation.
When I ask for information, you give it.
- Don't play dumb.
- Don't play dumb.
Don't lie. Clear?
I gave Lamb a specific instruction.
Why were you in on the loop?
Doesn't respect you.
Wouldn't confide in you.
Do you remember the bit about not lying?
There's a bug.
Are you seriously telling me you planted
a bug in Jackson Lamb's office?
- I never trusted that lazy bastard.
- Jesus Christ.
- It's not like it was a personal thing.
- Why didn't the sweeps pick it up?
Oh, don't tell me you do the sweeping.
Jesus Christ.
What else do you lot get up to
over there in toy town?
I guess it was force of habit.
I used to be one of the Dogs.
Oh, really? You didn't mention that.
And he doesn't give me anything to do.
Or at least anything that matters.
He's just taking the piss.
So I wanted to see if I could get
anything on him, and I have.
The burnt-out twat.
If he ever wants to get out,
I know exactly how he'll do it.
I know where he'll go and under what name.
- Here's what's gonna happen.
- Here's what's gonna happen.
You are going to do me a couple of favors
off the record,
which means that if anything
goes even slightly wrong,
I'll have never have heard of you.
Understood?
Incoming only. And dump the bug.
Slough House may be a dead end,
but it's part of the service.
If it gets out it's been compromised,
your former chums in the Dogs
will tear you apart.
Oh, and, Moody, a word of warning.
Lamb's a burnout for a reason.
When he was in the field, he had more
to worry about than screwups like you.
He risked being caught,
tortured and shot, and he survived.
Might want to bear that in mind.
Well, I'm joined now by our home
security correspondent Derek Rothery.
What can you tell us
about the investigation so far?
West Yorkshire police have now confirmed
they're involved in the investigation.
- This follows contact…
- Turn it down.
…with Hassan Ahmed's family.
Just the same shit over and over again.
This is our big moment.
We've got the whole world looking for us.
Do we have any information
on why Mr. Ahmed might have been taken?
- -Fucking... - We don't. Now, it might be…
- -Fucking... - We don't. Now, it might be…
You know you can't say a word
about this once it's done, yeah?
We never knew each other.
We were never here.
Yeah.
- Please.
- Yeah, I'm proud of what we're doing
- for our country.
- I need the toilet.
- But I won't say nothing.
- No, you won't.
'Cause if you do, I'll fucking find you.
Look, I-I really need to go.
Let him shit himself.
- Hey, tell you what.
- Hello?
He'll be shitting himself in the morning.
- Please.
- I'll take him to the toilet.
Just now,
you were getting off on the world
- wanting to know who we are.
- I really need…
You want them to know
you leapt up to wipe a Muslim's arse?
I didn't leap up.
Go find a bucket or summat.
He's not using our toilet.
Go on.
Where is it then?
Couldn't find a bucket.
I think there's a bucket
in the back garden, you know?
We don't know if this individual
was a person
known to the police
or the security guards.
- I'll do it then, shall I?
- But it is quite usual
in terror-related incidents
for the authorities
to refrain from sharing information
which they think might jeopardize the…
But there is a significant police
presence in the area today, which…
How was he, ma'am?
If you're talking about Mr. Moody,
it's between him and me.
Pakistani ambassador was not best pleased.
I hear there's been a breakthrough.
- Well, not quite a breakthrough, ma'am, but we think he's being held in London.
- Well, not quite a breakthrough, ma'am, but we think he's being held in London.
- Because?
- It's London brick, in the basement.
We presume it's a basement.
No light, bare walls.
- Built in London brick?
- Yeah.
So you've narrowed it down to one
in three and a half million houses.
No, no. Uh, lower than that.
See, the age and style of the pointing
means we can limit it to certain areas.
Victorian, before the mass expansion.
Hmm. Well, keep going.
I want an address, not a census.
Anything new on the feed?
Um, what they did with the original upload
was a quite sophisticated bounce back,
and the live feed's off-line now.
When they come back online,
it will be to execute him.
So find out
where they're broadcasting from.
I need to update the Foreign Office,
and I want you to run through
all the extraction options.
- Yes, ma'am.
- No one goes home,
and anyone home on leave,
you pull them straight back.
You can use that.
- Oh, no.
- Relax.
Choppy choppy
isn't until tomorrow morning.
- And then we fight back for our country.
- I'm... I'm British.
What?
'Cause you passed the citizenship test?
No, no, no. I was born here just like you.
- My... My family moved...
- It's not the same.
Jesus was born in a stable.
That don't make him a fucking donkey. Up.
Hands together.
Listen, please.
Feet together.
Don't you fucking move!
There you go.
You can use your toilet whenever you like.
You think Churchill would be proud
of what you're doing?
You what?
Beheading me in cold blood.
- You're a coward.
- You're a coward.
You wanna talk about cowardice?
You can't even go on a pub stage.
Was that your dream?
Well, it's too late now.
Boo!
Fuck's sake.
It's Robert Hobden for Nick Drew.
Well, when did he leave? No, never mind.
Can you just put me through
to whoever's on the news desk?
I'm sorry,
I can't leave a number.
I'll... I'll call back.
Hello, it's Robert Hobden again.
Is Kate Draper out of her meeting yet?
It's a bloody long meeting.
Oh, it's a different meeting, is it?
It's Robert Hobden for Peter Judd.
No, well, then I'll call again. And again.
Hey, your change.
Five years, and he's never left a tip.
Well, it's your lucky day.
Standish!
Yeah, I... I'd hang back
if I were you. I've... God.
I have just let one rip.
It's a killer.
Get me Taverner on the phone.
Catherine, you said later.
And later it now is.
Give me a minute.
Boss man?
Oh, piss off.
Will do, shortly.
After I've collected tax
from Ms. Standish.
Oh, connecting you now.
Dickhead, I have a call.
Diana?
Who? Who the fuck are you?
Well, if she can't come to the phone,
take the fucking phone to her.
- Ah, you went for ten after all.
- Yeah.
The message is,
"Call me urgently.
I have the results of your test."
Makes up for River leaving early
without a purchase.
Yeah. Uh, just get her to fucking call me.
Uh, when exactly did Cartwright leave?
I don't know exactly. About two hours ago?
Just before Sid.
All right. Well, fuck off.
Jesus, this time tomorrow morning.
Yeah, we'll be back here.
Same shit, different...
You... You mean the hostage.
Of course, um, well, the... the...
They'll find him before then, won't they?
I mean, they have to.
Yeah, let's hope so.
You doing anything tonight?
I'm praying for a lottery win.
But I mean, that's not, you know,
necessarily location specific.
I... I could do that on... on the move.
Hey, you two flakies.
You forgetting we have a date tonight?
Shit. Sorry, Struan,
um, I've double-booked.
I'm meeting a friend tonight now. Sorry.
You met a friend last night too.
It's good to be popular. Min?
Clare's texted.
Her sister's having a mare.
Um, splitting up with her boyfriend.
So, yeah, I'm on full-on dad duty tonight.
- Very well. We had such a laugh last time we went for a drink.
- Very well. We had such a laugh last time we went for a drink.
We must do it again at some point.
Oh, absolutely.
Let's do Christmas drinks.
It's February.
What the hell are you doing here?
I could ask you the same thing.
Thought you might want a coffee.
You didn't have any in the café.
Sorry, have you been following me?
You'd better hope not.
Because that'd mean I tracked you halfway
across London without you noticing.
- Ah, Jesus Christ.
- I thought you were good at this.
- Maybe that story about you tailing Taverner is just a myth.
- Maybe that story about you tailing Taverner is just a myth.
That... Uh, no. Not a myth,
actually. That really did happen.
Mmm.
I was assigned to follow the Shadow
Minister for Education as an exercise.
But then he had a heart attack
the night before.
So I followed Taverner instead.
And I watched her do everything.
Everything.
Gym, breakfast, office,
gym again at lunch.
I got within 10 feet and she never knew.
Well, not until I showed her
the photographs the next day.
And that bit about her applauding you?
People have made more of that than
it warranted. It was just three claps.
You should be applauding me. I kept an eye
on Hobden while you went to get your car.
I should be applau...
I would have stuck out,
standing around on the street.
Well, I didn't.
But then, as we've established,
I am better at surveillance than you.
That's just... Depends how you look at it.
Come on.
Unbelievable.
You love it when I'm hard on you.
So, what did you find in Hobden's rubbish
that put you in spy mode?
Ho predicted that Hobden would've made
something called a thermite pot,
which is basically a geek way
for the clinically paranoid
to burn the computer to ash.
And I found some steel wool
and rusting coffee filters in his rubbish.
He'd been making iron oxide.
It's one of the ingredients for thermite.
So he's got something on his hard drive
- he doesn't want anyone to find?
- Mmm.
That is disgusting.
That'd be the arsenic.
How'd you get Ho to help?
I promised I'd tell him
why he's in Slough House.
- Do you know?
- I do, yeah. Do you?
Mm-hmm.
Well, anyway, uh,
he couldn't do what I asked him,
which was to hack into Hobden's email,
so I didn't have to tell him.
Would you have told him?
Yeah, he wants to know.
- How would you have told him?
- I don't know. With words.
- Okay. Pretend I'm Roddy Ho, and you tell me that the reason
- Okay. Pretend I'm Roddy Ho, and you tell me that the reason
I've been shipped out to Slough House
is because I'm an insufferable prick.
- I got moved…
- I'd sugarcoat it.
…from every department I worked in in MI5
and Slough House was the only place left.
But if he had gotten me
into Hobden's emails,
- can we agree that would've been useful?
- That...
He once put someone
on the sex offenders register
because they nicked his seat on a bus.
I didn't have to tell him.
- Imagine what he'd do to you.
- So why are we arguing about this?
Do you think Roddy could find out
why Lamb is in Slough House?
No. Otherwise he would've already done it.
Hmm.
Why are you here, Sid?
Not in the car, at Slough House.
I thought Slough House was like prison.
You're not supposed to ask
what you're in for.
Well, you know why I'm there.
Yeah, but everybody knows
why you're there.
I was gonna give you a compliment,
but you can shove it now.
Suit yourself.
I get enough flattery from Lamb.
- --But that's what I mean.
- --But that's what I mean.
He can see that you're not
like the others.
Because you're not.
I mean, Min,
Struan,
Roddy,
maybe not Louisa, but definitely Moody,
they were always headed for the skids.
They're useless, but you're…
You know, it just doesn't make sense.
But, um, whatever the reason
for being put in Slough House,
it must've... must've come out of nowhere,
right?
Yeah.
Yeah, it did, and it's just…
Just none of your business.
Okay.
- So how long are you gonna sit here for?
- Just until Hobden goes to sleep.
Then I'm gonna go in there and find out
what's on that laptop
he's been carrying around all day.
- Hiya.
- You all right, love?
- Yeah, can I get a vodka soda, please?
- Yep, ice and slice?
Yes, please.
I'm just gonna be round there.
All right.
Thought you were babysitting.
Thought you were meeting a friend.
Poor Struan.
- Yeah, if he saw us here, I think he'd cry.
- Yeah, if he saw us here, I think he'd cry.
You're not going home, then?
Uh, well, no. I thought I'd just
decompress a bit first, you know.
Yeah. Fair enough.
It's been, uh, one hell of a day
protecting the nation.
Imagine the consequences
if I didn't turn up for work, eh?
Thanks.
Well, then I'd be left alone with Struan.
So please keep showing up.
You should get danger money for that.
So I'm assuming you didn't have a friend
around last night either, then?
Mm-mmm.
You know,
I don't actually have any friends.
No, I mean that I have, uh...
I have people that I know,
but, like, no one that I can talk to.
Not... Not about work anyway.
Do you not stay in touch with any
of your old colleagues from the Park?
Mm-mmm. No, they kinda shunned me.
Well, I wasn't just shunned.
I was shamed by everyone
after… you know.
- You left a top secret file on a train.
- You left a top secret file on a train.
Yes.
That.
I was shaving in the bathroom,
listening to the radio,
when it hit the headlines that…
Well, the file had been found
by a member of the public.
And, uh, Clare just said,
"What fool did that?"
And I just started crying.
Uh, I thought maybe she'd hug me.
But nah. She didn't.
She just said…
… "Min, you fucking idiot."
Wow. That's, um…
And, uh,
- are things okay now between you two?
- Oh, God, yeah. I'm getting divorced.
I guess she saw me differently after that.
And you let us all think
you had a home life.
- Well, yeah. I mean, I keep up the lie partly because I don't want to accept it.
- Well, yeah. I mean, I keep up the lie partly because I don't want to accept it.
Partly because I do not wanna give Lamb
any more ammo.
And, well, perhaps most importantly,
because it stops me
having to go to the pub with Struan.
I mean, oh, my God.
Oh.
- He makes me yearn for Alan Black.
- Yeah.
Black was like Struan with depression,
but at least he didn't, you know,
wanna try and continue talking after work.
He's just so freaking keen. He's like…
- Yeah.
- …you know, "Let's do a monthly dinner."
"Let's go paintballing." "Let's…"
So I guess we'd say
to those who have taken him…
Please, he's done no harm to you.
Just... Just let him go.
The police are now saying
the threat to Leeds University student
Hassan...
Get me Ho.
I think he's gone.
Then get him back.
Who was Hobden trying to call?
Just a bunch of right-leaning editors
and journalists,
but none of them took his calls.
But he rang Peter Judd seven times.
Ugh, Judd is the worst.
Yeah.
Hello?
I... I can't talk at the moment.
- No, I'm watching him right now.
- Update me later.
I will, but I have... I have to go.
Okay.
Who's Aunt Zadie?
Um…
There is no Aunt Zadie.
I put that in
so if anyone got into my phone,
they wouldn't know
who I'd been talking to.
Wait, well, who were you talking to then?
Someone who knows
you're watching Robert Hobden?
That's not what I said.
Yes, you did.
You just said, "I'm watching him now."
Listen… There's a reason I didn't
tell you why I'm in Slough House.
No, no, no. Sid… …really,
seriously, you don't have to tell me why.
It's not for something you did in the
field, because you're a brilliant agent.
Kind-of-brilliant agent.
So it's obviously something to do
with your personal life,
- -which is none of my business. -No. River, it is your business. I…
- -Which is none of my business. -No. River, it is your business. I…
I didn't just follow you here today.
That was Taverner,
and I wasn't telling her
I was watching Hobden.
I was telling her I was watching you.
Are you being serious?
You're watching me for Taverner?
Wha...
Why would she want you watching me?
Look, I don't know, but it's the reason
why I've been sent to Slough House.
To... To... To keep an eye on you.
You're kidding, right?
No.
No, I'm not. I'm... Uh.
Shit.
Shit. Look.
I'll cover the front.
Stop it!
Please. Please.
Get him off me. Get him off me!
Listen to me.
Let him go and put the gun down.
Armed response are two minutes out.
If they see you with a gun,
they're just gonna kill you.
- Did you hear me?
- What do you want?
Put the gun down.
Sid.
Sid, are you hit?
Sid? Shit, shit, shit, shit.
All right. Okay, okay, okay.
Sid, stay with me. Sid.
Yeah, I need an ambulance.
NW1, Maythorpe Road.
Yeah, gunshot wound to the head.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You'll see me, you'll see me.
Just hurry up. All right.
Sid?