Sliders (1995–2000): Season 5, Episode 7 - A Current Affair - full transcript

The Sliders jump into a world dominated by media outlets. A chance encounter between Maggi and the current US President leads to wide spread news reporting she is having an affair with the president.

Yes, America is
stronger than ever.


And you,
the people who put

the First Lady and myself
in the White House
six short years ago,

you made it
all possible!

Mr. President!
Mr. President!

Do you sleep
in the nude?

Mr. President,
do you sleep
in the nude?

Well, I'd like to
answer that, Helen,

but I'm afraid it might
embarrass Mrs. Williams.

Why? Doesn't she know?

Oh, she knows.

I just don't think
she wants you to know.

All right, well...

We need to move on now,
and put such concerns
behind us

and get on with the job
that the American people
elected me to do.

Mr. President!
Mr. President!

What about the war
in Switzerland?

When will you end
the senseless slaughter?

Mr. President!

Thank you, LA!

Mr. President!

Where are we?

A hotel we probably
can't afford.

Shouldn't we be getting
"frequent slider miles"
by now?

How much time
do we have?

A shade
under two days.

Plenty of time
for a little R&R.

Hey, what's that
all about?

one of my doubles
finishing up a song.

Yeah, right.

Hey, you never know.

Before you guys
hooked up with me

I met a Rembrandt Brown
who was an Elvis
on his world.

Okay, Remmy.

No kidding.
They even had
Remmy impersonators.



Well, did I get
your vote?

Stay back!
Stay back!

What if you found a portal
to a parallel universe?

What if you could slide into
a thousand different worlds

where it's the same year
and you're the same person,

but everything else
is different?

And what if you can't
find your way home?


Faced with back-to-back
identical snacks...

How many people
can say they just ran

into the President
of the United States?

I just want to forget
it happened.

Not much chance
of that.


Give me that!

How did they get
the paper out so fast?

We've only been
here for a few hours.

It's not just
the paper...

If you're just
joining us,

we're bringing you
continuing coverage

of the President's apparent
extra-marital affair.

Oh, give me a break!

Our resident psychologist
has tentatively diagnosed
the President

as having
a sexual addiction.


And it has been confirmed
that President Williams

had been seeing
the young woman...

Not known
how long the romance has
been going on,

but insiders say...

Our unseasonably hot and
steamy weather forecast...

Leave it there.

But first,
more on the President's
hot and steamy affair!

I think you and the Prez
make a pretty cute couple,
if you ask me.

I didn't ask you.

What kind of
a place is this?

It's like Tabloid World.

Listen to
these headlines...

"Baseball hunk
strikes out with starlet
but loses 30 pounds."

"Image of Virgin Mary
appears in slice
of marble rye,

"thousands make

And this is The Herald!

Well, I'd love to
see what they print
in the rags.

I think I found one.

"Stocks plunge
to record lows.

"The Senate tables
health-care vote.

"Heavy fighting continues
in Switzerland."

This seems
to be real news.

What is it?

It's The Hawks Report.

Put out by somebody
named Bobby Hawks.

What was that
about fighting
in Switzerland?

"Recent reports confirm
an escalation

"with heavy casualties
in the war

"between the United States
and the Swiss."

Over what? Cheese?

A Swatch embargo?

Apparently, Switzerland
was responsible
for a banking scandal

that's led to
a worldwide depression.

There's even a rumor
about ethnic cleansing

in the French speaking
part of the country.

Ethnic cleansing?

Wait. The Swiss
have an army?

I thought they just
had army knives.

So what's the United States'

It doesn't say.

This is from last week.

I'd like to
see a current issue.

Yeah. Maybe he's got
the real story on
the President's affair.

The President's apparent
extra-marital affair.

The American public
seems fascinated

by the President's
romantic involvement
with the mystery woman.


I cannot believe they're
making such a big deal
out of...

Out of nothing!

Jeff, you know
there's nothing
they won't do

to sell papers
or attract viewers.

Well, you're right,
as usual, dear,

but this is
getting out of hand.

Chuck, I want you
to quash this story

before it goes
any further.

That may not be
our best bet,
Mr. President.

As weird as it sounds,

this sex scandal
might be a blessing
in disguise.

Well, it's a damn good

What are you
talking about?

Well, sir,
if you've noticed,

ever since
this story broke,

nobody's been
paying attention

to the situation
in Switzerland.

That's true.

So you're suggesting
that we...

So long as we keep the people
in a feeding frenzy
over the scandal,

no one's gonna care
what we do in Switzerland.

Play it up
instead of down.

Exactly, sir.

I don't know, Chuck...

That way we'd
be using the media,

instead of
them using us.

For a change.

Hmm. Good point.

this whole thing will
just blow over.

I would just love to
have a couple of days

in a normal world
doing normal stuff.

I can't believe
how expensive
everything is here.

Can I help you?

Aren't you the President's
mystery woman?

Ah. The whole thing
was a big mistake.

Uh, yeah, this is
a big mistake,
all right,

breaking up
a happy marriage.

Shame on you!

I am not having an affair
with the President!

Can ya autograph
my newspaper?

Right under the picture
of you and the President.

I'm going back
to the hotel.


Hey, want me
to walk with you?

Oh, that's okay.
You guys go have
a good time.

I just need to be alone
for a little while.

I'll catch up
with you guys later.

Where are you goin'?

Just havin'
a look around.

He's a big boy.

Yeah. But he's
still new at this.

Oh, let him have
a little fun.

Hey, you wanna
check out HDTV
on this world?


If you don't like
what I write,
don't read it.

Nobody's forcing you.

But I do like
what you write.

You sure you're
in the right place?

Do you publish
The Hawks Report?


Then I got
the right place.

This is a joke, right?

Bernie Shaw send you?
Somebody at The Herald?

Nobody sent me.
I'm interested in
what you do.



Please, Mr...

You can
call me Mallory.

Call me Bobby.

Okay, Bobby.

Uh, doesn't anybody care
about real news?

Well, let's just say
they're easily distracted.

And you?

I like hard news.

Right now I'm online
with a compatriot
in Chicago.

We have a sort of
loose network of
people around the world

that share information
on issues that are just
a little more important

than who is sleeping
with whom.

And which soap star
is really an alien.

Like the war
in Switzerland.


Well, what's
the story there?

I thought you said
you read my stuff.

When I can
get a hold of it.

Otherwise I'm stuck
with "clown news."

Ha. I understand.

Okay. Well,
the Swiss President,
Marcel Vache,

affectionately known
as the Butcher of Bern,

he started the whole thing
by nationalizing Swiss banks,

putting the world
into a massive
economic crisis.

But how'd the US
get involved?

Well, you really
are interested.

President Williams,
he couldn't get approval
from Congress or the UN,

so he just went ahead
and sent in ground troops,
hoping to stabilize things.

I can understand
his concern,

but is it really worth it
risking all those lives
in an undeclared war?

I wish more people
felt that way.

I don't see how
they could ignore it.

Well, first off, they think
that I'm a crackpot who
makes this stuff up.

Now, I am a crackpot.

But the news is real.
Do you want some?

Uh, no.

Now, second,
even if they did
believe me,

they would still be
more interested
in dirty laundry.

Take this affair business.

Now, I got a theory
about that.

Which is?

A source in Geneva says
that our side is actually
losing the war.

And the rumor is
we're about to use

some kind of
illegal weapon.

Well, how does that tie in
with the scandal?

Hmm. Well, I think
the President's affair
is being played up

to keep people distracted
from his real problems

Could be.

You want a piece
of inside info?

What's that?

The President's affair
is a fake.

There's no relationship
with that woman.

How do you know that?

Because I was there
when it happened.

I know the woman
in question.


Don't move.

Um, okay, Mallory...

Oh, come on, guys,
I'm goin' stir crazy here.

We have
a report coming in
from Tony Jacobs

on the scene
in Pacoima.

White House sources
have released the name

of the President's
alleged mystery woman.

She is evidently
a Maggie Beckett.

And she lives here
in the Southland

at the Cajero
Mobile Home Park
and Campground.

Yes, Ann,
I'm here in Pacoima

at the address
we were given
just moments ago.

Oh, give me a break.

What do you want?
This some kinda contest?

I'm Tony Jacobs of GNN.

Are you Maggie Beckett?

Do I have to
buy any magazines?

No, ma'am.
The White House
has named you

as the woman
currently having an affair
with President Williams.

The what house?

Martha Lou put
that dog down.

I know, honey,
but he don't
like the hat.

I know, Mom.
We're just having fun.

I'm sorry.
Now, what's this
about the President?

We had some information
that you might
be the person

having an illicit affair
with the President,

but obviously,
you're not the right
Maggie Beckett.

This is Tony Jacobs
in Pacoima

sending it back
to you at GNN central.

Wait a minute.

How the hell
do you know
I'm not seein' him?


It's not like I can't
get myself any dates,

I'm sorry, ma'am.

Hey, come back here.

You want a story?
Hey, mister,
I'll give you a story.

I said put that
damn dog down!

Give me a break.

It's about time!

Good afternoon.
We represent the President
of the United States.

Okay. We are not
having an affair.

We know.

You know?
Of course.

Mind if we come in?


Miss Beckett, you're in
a unique position to
serve your country.

How do you know
my name?

It's what I do.

We realize that
this is all an innocent

Well, why don't
you tell that
to the press?

I'm afraid we can't
just now.

In the meantime,
we'd like you to
come with us.

The President needs you.

Well, he can need
somebody else 'cause
I'm just passing through.

Nobody turns down
a Presidential request.

Well, I guess then
I'm that nobody.

In that case,
this is not a request.

Shall we?

Never leave
the door unlocked.

You don't know
what might come
slithering in.

Yeah. Like us.



Any luck?

No. You?

When did you
last see her?

Same time you did when
she headed back here.

Where'd you go anyway?

I hooked up
with this guy, Hawks.

He publishes
that paper I found
in the room.

I told him this whole
affair with the President
is a fake.

Well, big deal.
Nobody reads him anyway.

So, what do we do now?

Well, we hang tight
right here.

Slider's Rule Number 2A.

If you don't know
what to do,
do nothing,

but do it at the hotel.

We still have plenty
of time left.

And she knows
when we slide,
she'll be back.

Could I buy you a drink?

you're havin'
a great time.

Oh, is that what
I'm having?

If you could be
just a little more

If you could just
let me outta here.

You know, this is just as
awkward for me as it is
for you, Miss Beckett.

Wanna bet?

No, really,
posing for these
fake photographs,

it''s not my idea.

But, well,

I really do apologize
for putting you
through all this.

You were, after all,
just an innocent bystander.


Perfect. Hold that.

Okay, we need one
over on the sofa.

Sir, let's pick up
the champagne glasses


Propose a toast.

I'll really be glad
when this is over.

Tell me about it.


Okay. We can
take a break now

and we'll check out
the exposures.

So, this must not
be very easy for you,

I beg your pardon?

Standing by your man
and all.

Well, you're not
really having an affair
with my husband.

Are you?

Oh, of course not.
But everybody thinks
that we are,

so it must put you
in an awkward position.

That's all I meant.

Yes. Well, uh,
I do appreciate
your concern.

Now if you'll
excuse me, I'm...

Smart girl,
that Miss Beckett.

Yes. Very perceptive.

We may have to
keep an eye on her.

Okay, Mel,
do your stuff.


People will think
this has been goin' on
for years.


And then the hot tub.


Mmm, looks like he's
enjoying himself
a little too much.


Oh, yeah.

As we bring you
brand-new exclusive photos

of President Williams
and his mistress...

Uh, yes, Karen...

That girl moves fast.

You can see by the footage
just delivered to us that...

That could be
a computer generated
image, you know.

How do we know
it's not for real?

You were the one who
told the newspaper guy
that it was a fake.

It's a pretty good fake.

Here they are dallying
in a hot tub...


goin' on here.

She wouldn't
voluntarily get involved
in something like this.

Okay, so what are
we looking at?

Secret Service?

I think I know a way
we can be sure
about that picture.

First off,
let's lose those black bars.


Don't we need to
see the whole picture
to tell if it's not a fake?

Well, it was
worth a shot.

Can we blow up
the image?


Of course it depends on
if it's a rasterized image
or not.

I mean,
if it's a bit map
like a TIFF,

then it'll get dotty
if we blow it.

Yeah, right.
And if it's a JPEG,

it depends how
lossy it is.

I think they're in love.

Oh, we are in luck.

It's rasterized.

What a relief.

We can make this thing
into a billboard
and never lose res.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

What's that?

It looks like
a champagne glass.

Yeah, I see it.
A reflection.

Yeah. Keep goin'.

Okay, sure.

Looks like a table.

Yeah, something's on it.

let's take a look...

that's as close as I can go
without losing resolution.

It's a matchbook.


Somebody's initials?

Yeah, it could be anybody.

No, no,
it's the Ambassador Hotel.

Are you sure?

Yeah. I stole some towels
from them last year.

I live on the cheap.

Now, so this was taken
at the Ambassador.

And your friend must be in
on this conspiracy,

otherwise she wouldn't
be in the footage.

She wouldn't
have any part of
any conspiracy.

No. She'd never
go along with it.

Is that her
in the picture?

Well, whatever's goin' on,
we've got to get her,
and soon.

You still think
she's at the hotel?

And if she is,
how do we get
around security?

You know, we're talkin'
Secret Service here.

Well, I happen to be
a card-carrying member
of the press,

although most people
would like to forget that.


And they are having
a press briefing

before the President's
next stop, which is in...

Anybody got the time?

Twenty minutes.

Look, you got any
spare credentials?

Yeah. Yeah, uh...

Yes, yes.

Okay, I got
photographer's pass,

that sorta thing.

Can I use this?
Yeah, yeah. Take it.

Here, you get to
be the assistant.


Yeah. I realize noxin gas
has been outlawed, General,

but due to
our heavy casualties,

the President emphasized
how imperative it is

to finish this war
as quickly as possible,
and with honor well.

Well, if noxin is
as effective as you say,

we can't afford
not to use it.

And what can
the UN do about it?

Deplore our actions?
Register deep concern with
the tragic consequences?

I think we can
live with that.

And let me worry
about public opinion.

I think we can
keep a lid on things
until after the fact.


They always serve
Burgundy chicken
at these fund-raisers.

I hate Burgundy chicken.

And what is the name
of that governor?


Oh, uh, I really do
appreciate you putting up

with all of this,
Miss Beckett.

Well, thanks,
but it's not like
I had a choice.

I was drafted.

Well, from time to time,
we're all called upon

to sacrifice
our private lives
for the public good.

It's the price
of democracy.

No hard feelings?

Well, maybe one or two.


I'll send you
an autographed picture

or maybe an ashtray
from Air Force One.


Right away.

Sir, the reporters
are waiting for you
in the Sagebrush Room.

Press conference.

Thanks again.



Guess there's
no reason for me
to stick around either.

something has come up

that will necessitate
your continued cooperation.

The President said...
Never mind what
the President said.

You're coming with us
to the next campaign stop.

Forget it, Chuckles.
I'm outta here.

Or not.

Watch it, Brutus.

No window.

Hello. Yes, I'd like
an outside line, please.

What do you mean
the President's lines
are secure?

This is
the President's girlfriend.


Oh, great.

Chuck, you're too tense.

Yeah, well,
it's a little hard
to relax

after the stunt
that she just pulled.

She gets out,
she could really
screw things up.

That girl's
a loose cannon.

Well, then I think
she's a cannon
that needs to be fired.


I'll get Kennedy to
take care of that.

Hmm. Good idea.

Oh, by the way,
really good work
on the nude photos.

Yeah? Thanks.
You know?

Yeah, I only wish Jeff
actually looked that good
under his clothes.

Now, you,
on the other hand...


I'll just be a minute.

Oh, that's okay.
I could use the company.

Oh, my stars,
the President's girlfriend.

I saw you on TV.

Uh, no...

Yeah, well,
you caught me,
guilty as charged.

It must be so exciting.
What's he like?

Very romantic, I bet.

I mean, he is
the most powerful man
in the world and all.

Yeah, um,
he's quite a guy.

Excuse me.

Shouldn't you be
making your rounds?

I think Shaw and I
can handle one girl.

She won't be with us
much longer anyway.

DNA results prove
beyond doubt

that Thomas Jefferson
fathered an illegitimate child
by one of his slaves...

A White House
source says,

that means
our current President

is really no better than
one of our founding fathers.

Press briefing,
Sagebrush Room.

Cleanup will be here
in five minutes.

Meet 'em at
the service elevator.

All right, now what?

We just can't barge in
on the President.

Shouldn't there be
Secret Service?

Maybe they've already gone
to their next stop.

No, no, no,
they're around
here somewhere.

Hurry up.
Let's check these rooms.



It's not her.

Thank God.

Who is she?

And why is she wearin'
Maggie's clothes?

And who killed her?

Let's get the devil
outta here

in case they think
we did it.

The Washington Memorial.

Oh! Hail to the chief.

No, I... I always
wanted to do it
in the Lincoln Bedroom.





You stupid...

They offed
the wrong girl.

Where's Beckett?

Oh, I don't care
what you have to do
to find her,

but you find her
and find her fast.

I don't believe this.

What are you doin'?

Goin' back to my room.

I'm beginning to think
I didn't pick the right man
for this job after all.

We'll find her, Sela.

Well, I hope so.

I'm not prepared
to let you sink
my inept husband

just because
you are even more inept.

whoever killed that woman
thought she was your friend.

Well, if Maggie got away,
she'll come here.

Yeah, but what if
she didn't?

We'll burn that bridge
when we get to it.

You know,
maybe they only
wanted her

for photo ops
to begin with,

but somebody
or something
changed the rules.

You don't think
she was making trouble
for them, do you?

Our Maggie? No.

Hey, guys!

See, I knew
she'd make it.

Hey! Hey! Help!


Let go of me!



Now what?

What's this?

Looks like
those little caps
that the maids wear.

Why was she
dressed like that?

Maybe the Prez gets
really turned on
by the French maid act.

It's anybody's guess
where they've taken her.

Or what they're
gonna do with her.

Yeah, well,
if that dead girl

at the hotel
is any indication,

I'd say your friend
is in big trouble.

Let's go back
to your office.

I got an idea.

Okay. What do ya need?

You got some clear pictures
of Maggie stored up, right?

Oh, yeah, man. In fact,
I got hundreds of them.

All you gotta do is
pick a tape
and a frame.

But what's the deal?

The deal is
we fight fire with fire.

Meaning what?

Meaning Bobby here
is gonna doctor up

some pictures of Maggie
and then leak them
to the press.

No, he's not.

What do you mean?

Look, if I did that,
I'd be just as deceitful
as everybody else.

Don't think of it
as lowering yourself
to their level,

think of it
as beating 'em
at their own game.

Hey, look,
I want to help, okay?

Really. But this
goes against everything
that I believe in.

You don't believe
in helping save
a person's life?

You're willing to work
to save innocent lives
in Switzerland?


What about saving
an innocent life
right here?

What do you
want me to do?


Okay, first,
let's get a good,
clean shot of her face.

Let me go!


Mr. President, please.

You're a reasonable man.
Help me out here.

I'd like to, Maggie,
but I'm sorry.

This thing is
out of my hands.

How can that be?
You're the President.

Can't you see
that the best thing
for you to do would be

to come clean
about this whole setup?

The American public
can be very forgiving

if you just
tell them the truth.

The truth?
That's a new one.

I'm sorry
if there were any way
around this...

We can't have her
running around town,

telling everybody
about our little project.

What project?

What else are
you tryin' cover up?

Well, Chuck,
isn't there anyway
we could handle this

without, you know...

It is either this little
whistle-blowing tramp
or you!

That is the menu, honey,
pure and simple.

Oh, you knew going into this
you were going to have
to make compromises.

Well, compromises
are one thing,
but murder...

The maid.

Lose the girl, Jeff,

or spend the rest
of your presidency
in disgrace,

possibly impeached.

And I have no intention
of remaining married to
an impeached President,

I can guarantee you that.

Look, you may
be many things,

but I can't believe
that you're a murderer.
Think about it.

The news shows are
gonna have a field day

when they find my body
and everybody's gonna think

that you murdered
your mistress.

Impeachment nothing.
They'll put you in prison.

What makes you think
anybody's gonna
find the body?

Your taxpayer dollars
at work.

Tell Kennedy we have
another target for him.

These photos
just received by GNN
make a shocking twist...

Hold it!

Turn it up.

The dead woman has
tentatively been identified
as Maggie Beckett,

the President's mistress,

although, at present,
officials have only
these photos to go by.


Those are obviously
phony pictures.

Gee, you think so,

Police say,
due to the savagery
of the murder,

the killer was someone
who had strong feelings
about the victim.

In other words,
a crime of passion.

The evidence is
still coming in,

but I'd have to say
things don't look good
for the President.

How can they think
that I had anything to do
with her murder?

I told you.

Jeff, you idiot,
she's not dead.
Not yet, anyway.

Look, I... I think we have
to rethink this situation,
Mrs. Williams.

What are you
talking about?

Well, if everybody thinks
that the President
murdered me,

the only way
to clear him

is to show the world
that I'm alive and well.

As much as
I'd like to get rid
of Miss Beckett,

I think if we keep her
from talking,

we can still stay
in the clear.

Show everyone
that she's alive,

that I haven't
killed anyone,

and let them go on
believing that the affair
is still ongoing?

We could possibly use this
to our advantage.


We hold
a press conference.

We let them pepper you
with murder allegations,

then we dramatically
present Miss Beckett.

Seeing the two of you,
side by side,

will make the affair
an even hotter story,

especially if
the First Lady is there.

It'll certainly increase
my credibility.

And make me look like
an even bigger fool
for staying with you.

I like it.

Thus far,
there's been no official word
from the White House,

increasing speculation
that the President has,

brutally murdered
his mistress,
Maggie Beckett.

Well, so far,
they're buying it.

Yeah. Good job
on those photos, Bobby.

I just hope I did
the right thing.

I'm getting word now
that the President

is scheduled to hold
a press conference

White House sources say
he'll address
the murder allegations

at that time.

We'll go there live as soon
as the President arrives.


we're cuttin' it close.

Let's roll.

President is gonna
have to defend himself
against the allegations...

I sure hope
Maggie's okay.

Ladies and gentlemen,

the President
of the United States.

Have you hired
a criminal attorney yet?

Mr. President!
Was it a lovers' quarrel?

What kind of weapon
did you use?

Was her death the result
of rough sex play?

Are the allegations true?

I'm only going to
say this one time.

So listen carefully.

I did not have
homicidal relations
with that woman,

Maggie Beckett.

Did you have someone else
kill her for you?

Did you drive her to
take her own life?

Did the First Lady kill her
in a jealous rage?

Look what we started!

Yeah, we're getting
pretty good at that.

With all due respect, sir,
why should we believe you?

Sir! Sir!

Well, now, that's the
first valid question
I've heard today.

Why should you
believe me?

Well, for one thing,
I have always been honest
with the American people.

And for another,

Maggie Beckett
is not dead.

As you can see,
she is completely

But where did those
pictures come from?

Those... Those photos
were faked

by some sick prankster
in order to embarrass me

and make it appear
as though Miss Beckett
had been killed.

you've all been made
the victims of a hoax.

What about
the other hoax,
Mr. President?

Mr. Hawks, our resident
conspiracy theorist.

What is it this time?
Is it polluted waters
of Santa Monica Bay?

Is it illegal
contributions from Asians
for the campaign?

Uh, greedy HMOs?

Or some other
equally ridiculous thing?

No. I'm talking about
the war in Switzerland.

I've heard reports
that we're about to use
an illegal chemical weapon.

Well, I never cease
to be amazed by
your vivid imagination.

There is
no such weapon.

What about the phony affair
with Maggie Beckett?

Well, as you can see,
Miss Beckett
is quite real.

Yes, but our affair isn't
and never has been.

And what are you guys
gonna do, huh?

You gonna shoot me
in front of
all these witnesses?

What this man right here
is saying is true.

The President
has been using me
to fool all of you.

And what's
even more horrible

is that a young woman
who worked right
at this very hotel

was murdered because
they thought she was me.

An innocent person
is dead because
of all this

and many more will die
in a needless war.

Will you do something?

Like what?

Bobby Hawks is right!

The President is about
to unleash a nerve gas
that is so horrible,

it has been
declared illegal
by international law.

Now, please, please.

Now, don't fall for it.

Mr. Hawks is a crackpot.
You all know that.

No, listen to him.

Let him speak.
Let him take the podium.

Mr. President.
Mr. President.

Mr. Hawks.

We all owe a huge debt of
gratitude to Maggie Beckett
and her friends

for having
risked their lives

in order to expose
the President's scheme.

Come on up here, guys.

So glad to see you.

Back at you, Maggie.

Hi, guys.

We've got to go.

And now,
if you'll excuse us.

We have
another engagement.