Sliders (1995–2000): Season 5, Episode 15 - To Catch a Slider - full transcript

The team discover their timer for slides has begun to malfunction and is in need of repair. They have 48 hours to figure out how it works and effect repairs or risk being stranded in their current world.

Are you wondering how healthy the food you are eating is? Check it -
You know,
if more worlds
were like this one,

we could probably open up
a trans-dimensional
travel agency,

and make a lot of money.

Yeah, mild weather,
friendly people.

Any kind of
food you want.

Snow on the mountains,
and sun on the beach.

I think
they call it California.

Not my California,
but it's close.

Yeah, Diana says
we're getting
closer and closer

to your world
with every slide.

You could stay here,
you know.

I think the women here
are about as fine
as it gets.

We made a commitment.

We find your world,
and then we take care
of ourselves.

I appreciate that.

I think it's genetic.

Do you know any men
who obsessively
try on shoes?

Well, there was this
drummer in Portland.

How long have
they been in there?

Well, this is
the only time it matters.


Oh, man!

MALLORY: What is it?

I don't know.
I've never seen it
act like this before.

I thought we had
another day here.

Me, too.

Maggie, Diana,
we gotta go.

Wait. I thought
we had another day.

We didn't even
buy any shoes.

Yeah, around the corner
and out of sight.
Come on.

This thing is
going nuts.

Is the power low?

I don't know,
this is something new.

That's all we need.

It's not gonna drop us
in the ocean again, is it?

Oh, God,
I don't know.

Okay, here we go.









Are we unstuck?

The word I'd use
is "stuck."

What if you found a portal
to a parallel universe?

What if you could slide into
a thousand different worlds

where it's the same year
and you're the same person,

but everything else
is different?

And what if you can't
find your way home?



What made that thing
start up again?

Oh, my God!

Have you ever had
one like that before?


Was the timer working?

Well, it seems to
be almost normal.

Okay, we've got
a little over
two days here.

Do we?

What if it starts
jumping around again?

Well, I've been sliding
for a long time

and I've never
had one like that one.

And I don't
want another one.

Be right back.

Okay, it's having trouble
locking into the
dimensional vibrations

of whatever world
we land on.

Does that mean we're gonna be
popping in and out like that
without any control?

We never had much control,
to tell you the truth.

So, then,
what do we do?

Okay, look, I've gotta
take this thing apart,
and see what's what.

If I can't fix it
with my PDL,

then I'm gonna
need some equipment,
maybe even a lab.

(SIGHS) Looks like
the world we just left.

Even the shoe store's
still there.

Well, it's a different world.

Close, but different

Let's go.

I can't believe Quinn
didn't have some kind
of backup system.

He may have.

But we'll never
know now, will we?

Well, there may be
another problem.

This one's not
good enough for you?

This is not
the original timer.

It's not the one
that Quinn made.

Well, who did?

Well, we were in a world
where the Egyptians
still ruled.

Got stuck inside
of this pyramid,

so we ended up
with a timer

that the Egyptian
scientists had made.

It always
worked up until now.

I never thought
to ask how.

Even if we find a lab,
who's to say we'll have what
the Egyptian scientists had?

Okay. Look,
we have got two days
to solve this problem.

Let's get to the hotel
so I can get to work
on this.

Look at that.

The timer's blown,
we may not be able
to fix it

and she still
wants to shop.

Did you see that rock?

Thank you
very much, sir.

Hi, we'd like a suite.


Uh, no, this is
a spur of the moment
kind of thing.

Not a good time
to have a spur.

You're not here
for the film festival?

No, no, a lot of
important work to do.

Just a little peace
and quiet.

(LAUGHS) Lots of luck
with this crowd.


Oh, here's something.
Quentin Tarantino
just checked out.

You can have his suite,
once we clear
the wreckage.


GOMEZ: If you have
any valuables,

I'd advise you to put them
in the digital safe
in your room.

How does it work?

Each safe has
a digital combination stored
in the central computer.

Each time a guest checks in,
the combination is changed
in a random manner.

Fascinating. So what
kind of security system
do you have?

Each shift has
a secret password.

I feel very safe now.


Wow! Who's that?

You're kidding!
Monique Mansfield,
Goddess of Sex.

You worship sex here?

All right!

GOMEZ: The movie star.
Queen of the festival.

Oh, we don't get a chance
to see many movies.


Right here, please.

Huh, my, aren't you
a hunky on a stick?

Huh, Marty, is this
a punim or what?

So, you in town
for the festival?


Maybe I'll see you around.


Well, let's get on up
to the suite.

And hose down Hunky.

Looks like Hunky's
not the only one
getting some attention.

Well, so far
it's keeping
regular time.

Maybe we just went
through a bad wormhole,
and the timer's okay.

Can't take the chance.

That thing's Egyptian.
How are you going to
understand how it works?

It shouldn't make
a difference.

Well, why not?

It's a different language,
a different culture,
a different time.

Yeah, but not
a different math.

the numbers we use,
the Arabs invented.

So far as I can tell
from the slides
I've made,

the big things
are always the same.

Gravity, magnetism,

Earth revolves
around the sun.

Nothing the Egyptians
would have done

would have violated
the rules we already know.




I have no idea.

Sure hope we're gonna
like it here.

DIANA: Wait a minute.

Remmy, Quinn
and the Professor must have
talked about this thing.

Do you remember anything
of what they said?

Oh, geez.
Never understood much
of what they talked about.

I just accepted
that they knew
what they were doing.

Come on, Remmy, think.




REMBRANDT: There was
a lot of discussion
about scarabs.

We even ran into
a giant mutant one
in the pyramid.

Insects? We're gonna
fix the timer
with insects?

Scarabs were also jewels.

And jewels like
any crystalline matter are
three dimensional structures,

composed of atoms that
repeat identical structures
throughout the unit.

Which means?

Which means they vibrate,

sometimes at
very high frequencies,
almost as if they're alive.




Would you mind
sharing that "ah-ha"?

Well, I'm getting
a vibrational pattern
in the crystalline range.

It's very weak,
but it's definitely
in that range.

This element
is a direction finder.

It matches up
dimensional vibrations.

Looks as if it's
worn out or broken.

You know,
this looks a lot like one
of those Living Gems

I saw in the store

Yeah, that movie star
was wearing one.

Could one of those
fix the timer?

Well, there's definitely
one way to find out.

Good afternoon.
Welcome to Atrobelies.
How may I help you?

We're interested
in the Living Gems
of Chapare.

Oh, well, yes, they're
just the latest things,
aren't they?

Let's see what
I could show you.

Mmm, we have
some lovely new
tennis bracelets.

Actually, can we see
one of these
solitaire rings?

Yes, of course.

They seem to be moving.

Oh, yes, that's why
they're called
the Living Gems.

They were discovered
only a few years ago
in the jungles of Bolivia.

An isolated valley
in the rain shadow
of the Andes.

And then Elizabeth Taylor
bought one

(LAUGHING) and the rest
is modern history.

Uh, may I?

Yes, of course.

Some people feel
that they have
magical qualities,

long life, wisdom,
even healing powers.

Of course,
magical qualities have
been attributed to jewels

since the beginning
of time.

But these...
These may really
have something.

Research is just underway,
and already they've
discovered amazing things.

For example,
these larger stones are
no longer rated in carats,

but on the Hertz system.


A frequency measurement.


Whatever are you doing?

Oh, uh, this is
just a densitometer.

Checking for authenticity.

I beg your pardon?
This is Atrobelies.

No one questions
our integrity.


Right, they are.

Well, they're real
all right. Honey?

I just have to
have one.


I don't know, sweetcakes.
They look expensive.

Well, oh, but you're lucky.
We're having a sale.

A limited time only,
and only what
we have in stock.

How much?

Only $9,000 a hertz.


Of course.

How many hertz
do we need, sweetcakes?

Nine. Any more
would be vulgar.

I'm afraid
it's a little bit
out of our league.

Do you have a brochure
we might take?

Yes, of course.

There you go.

Thank you.

We'll be back.

I'll be looking
forward to that.

If you ever call me
sweetcakes again,

I will rip your heart out
through your rib cage.

You're the one
who started it.

Well, there's no way
to know if it would've
worked anyway.

Well, if they rate them
in frequencies,

there's a pretty
good chance.

But $81,000.

I guess there's
only one thing to do.


What's that?

We're just gonna
have to steal one.

MALLORY: We come in
through the skylight.

You can lower me on a cable,
like they did with Tom Cruise
in Mission Impossible.

Lower me, less weight.

If they have lasers
that could work.

But if they have
heat sensors

or pressure points
on the floor...

Wait, you guys,
what about the safe?

They're not exactly
gonna keep the gems
in the cases all night.

Well, then I'm the one
you have to lower.

I'll take my PDL.

If I can
hear the tumblers,
then I can crack it.

If it's an electronic
lock, well...


Hello, are you in
on this caper, or what?

Oh, sorry.
I thought I was
watching a movie.

Like Topkapi
or The Hot Rock,
or Sneakers.

I mean after all,
there is a film festival
going on here.

I loved Sneakers.

It didn't get
good reviews,
but I loved it.

You people are nuts.
This is not a movie.

As strange as it is,
this is our lives.

Look at you, you're talking
about breaking and entering,
burglary, grand larceny.

And the way I see it,
we might as well forget
about sliding.

Because jail time
is gonna add up

to a whole lot more
than 29 years.

What do any of you know
about knocking over
a jewelry store?

Well, actually...

I don't want to hear it.

Okay, we need
one of those jewels.

We can't buy one.
We can't exactly
borrow one.

So what do we do?

I've seen a lot of people
around the hotel
wearing them.

Yeah, in fact, one was
around the neck
of that movie star.

What are we talking about now?
Assault and battery?

Wait a minute,
you're the one
who showed me

how to rip off
my alternates
with ATM cards.

He's got a point, Rem.



Yeah, hang on a second.
He's here.

It's Mallory.

I... I could
probably do that.

Suite 218?

Monique Mansfield.


Goddess of Sex?

Says she wants
to get to know me.

Wants me to
get to know her.

I hate to intrude on this
with a little reality,

but we have
a serious problem here.

No, wait a minute.
This is not a problem.

If Hunky over here
can get close to
the Goddess of Sex,

then he can get close
to her Living Jewel.

You want me to
steal her necklace?

If you're as good
as you think you are,

she'll probably give it
to you out of gratitude.

Well, I hate to admit it,
but that might be
a way to do it.

Certainly a lot less risk
than smash and grab
at the store.


All right,
you check out
Sex Goddess,

but you keep your head
in the game.

Meanwhile, I'll check out
the Living Gem specs

in case Hunky here
comes up with one.

Why don't you and I see
if there's a different market
for these things.

Like a black market?

Well, I'd prefer beige.



Just a...
Just a cup of tea.


a major investment?

I'm sorry.
I didn't mean
to disturb you.

Uh, I'm not disturbed.

Good. Grant Curtis.

Diana Davis.

You here
for the festival?

No, not really.

Would you care
to sit down?

Thought you'd never ask.

Hi. Miss Mansfield
called me.



Well, now!

You do what you're told.
I like that in a man.

We're going down
to the pool
for a photo op.

You will join us,
won't you?

Well, I, um...

Normally I don't
go down to the pool,

but my publicist
thinks that, uh,

it will be good
for the picture

if I let the press
take a few shots.

And I don't want the press
to think Monique is here
without a companion.

I... I don't have
a bathing suit.

Anthony, get a suit
for Monique's new Hunky.


Will you help me
put on my sunscreen?

I have been
looking forward to this
for a long time.

Now, on the way,
I want you to tell Monique
all about you.

Just the good points.
Things that will
impress Monique

and make her want
to do naughty things.

Let's go, darling.
The cameras are waiting.

I saw you were
reading up
on the Living Gems

and wondered if
you were planning
to buy one.

Oh, no, I don't have
that kind of money.

Well, maybe there's some
lucky fellow somewhere
who could be persuaded?

Um, there is no fellow,
lucky or otherwise.


No. My friends and I
were just passing through.

Um, my interest
in the gems is more
academic than practical.

You're an academic?

You can say that.
I'm a physicist.


Beautiful and smart.

If you had a fellow,
he would be lucky indeed.

You know, I could tell you
all about the Living Gems.

Could you?

Sure. I sell them.

I've been to where they grow,
to the Valley of the Chapare.

To the west,
the cordillera
of the Andes.

Oh, it's amazing.
It looks like it goes
right up to heaven.

Oh, look at the time.

Can we continue this
over dinner, perhaps?

Um, I don't know...

You know these stones have
almost magical properties.

As a scientist,
I'm sure you'd find it
most interesting.

Of course,
if you have plans.

Shall we say 8:00 here
in the hotel restaurant?


Ew. It's gotta be sexy.

Without being blatant.


It's gotta say,
"I'm an adult,
I'm on my own,

"I love a good time,
and have a healthy
attitude about sex."

But without saying,
"Welcome aboard."



Ooh, too candid.

Thank you.


What's wrong?

Maggie, I don't know
if I can go through
with this.

I mean, this strange guy
just asks me out to dinner.

They're all strange
until you get to
know 'em.

And even then...

No, what I mean is,
I've never done
this before.

What are you
talking about?

I'm talking about
eight years of six hours
of studying every night.

No parties, no proms,
no moonlight rides
on Mulholland.

Well, it's high time,
don't you think?


You don't understand.
I don't know what to say
or how to behave.

Diana, you don't
have to say anything.

And you certainly
do not have to behave.


Mallory has a shot
with this actress.

And now you have a chance
of getting close to a guy
who sells these gems.

Hey, I really want you
to have a good time.

But if it helps,
just try to think of it
as business.

Right. Right.

This fire escape doesn't
go all the way up
to her suite.

That ought to be
against the law.

Like burglary?

How'd you get these
floor plans anyway?

I told the desk clerk
that I might shoot
my next picture here.

He couldn't
do enough for me.

Yeah, one afternoon
with a Hollywood star
and you're a producer?

She thinks so.

Yeah, she's an actress.

MAGGIE: Hey, guys.

Did you get
the radios?




Now, Remmy,
you're gonna be
on the roof of the bank

across the street,
watching the windows.

Mallory and I are gonna
take the service stairs,

we're gonna wait
for Diana to
pop the locks.

We're actually
gonna do this?

It's perfect.

Monique and
her whole entourage

will be at
the opening ceremonies
until after 11:00.

She told me
the insurance company
won't let her wear the gem,

so it'll be
in her suite.

I don't know.

Look, even if you
get inside of there,

you're gonna have to
open the safe.

Diana can handle that,

and the locks
from the computer
at the front desk.

Diana's got a date.

I promise you,
she can handle it.



Girl, you look...


See what I mean?
She can handle it.

Ladies and gentlemen,
it's show time.

Right on.


Still seems to be
working normally.

Okay, Mallory and I will
take the service stairs

and we'll wait for you
to trip the locks.

So how much time
do you think you need?

I don't know.

All right,
let's think.

You go down
to the restaurant
and wait for a table,

the waiter says
his name is Kevin.

He gives you menus,
you order wine.

Taste, toast. I say
you'll be powdering
your nose by 8:30.

8:30. Check.

Okay, so how do
you open the door

and take down
the safe combination?

The clerk said that
you needed a password.

Well, their system is
just like Windows 95.

I restart it,
boot to the safe mode
command prompt only,

delete the PWL files,
restart it, and I'm in.

I had to ask.

Here goes nothing.

You look fantastic.

Thank you.

Good evening.
Good evening.

Do you know
who that is?


They are all
so jealous of me
right now.

can you hear me?


Yeah, loud and clear.

All right. It's just
a few minutes
till T-hour.


GRANT: It's a Montrachet.
It should be quite good.



Uh, what?

It's what you do,
isn't it?

Oh, yes. (LAUGHS)
To science.


Do you know much
about wine?

Well, I know that
Louis Pasteur

disproved the theory
of spontaneous generation.

He showed that microorganisms
can transfer and propagate
in different media.

You're sure you're
not just saying that?


And all that leads
to fermentation,
which leads to this.

I'm very impressed.

Sign of a misspent youth.

Too many classes,
not enough glasses.


They were known to
the Aymara Indians

as long ago
as the 17th century.

And they used them
in religious rites,
and healing ceremonies.

But it wasn't until
a Spanish explorer
named Enriquez

found the Valley
of the Chapare
five years ago,

that the outside world
learned about the gems.

Wow, and from
the looks of things,
business has been good.

Mmm. Quite good.

Would you excuse me
for a minute?

Of course.

Are you Mr. Calhoun?

Yes, ma'am.

Uh, the maitre d' asked me
to tell you that he needs
to see you in the kitchen.

He did?

He said it was urgent.

Um, I'll keep an eye
on things here for you.

Thank you.
I won't be a minute.

And neither will I.




She's done it.

It's after 8:30.
You guys aren't
in the closet yet?

What are you talking about?
We've been in here
for a couple of minutes.

Diana just
cracked the safe.

Then there's somebody
in the suite.



Wrong room.

Come on, Mallory.


MAN: There's somebody
in there.

MAGGIE: Rembrandt?

Hey, what happened?

Looks like we're not
the only ones with
this idea tonight.

Where's Mallory?
I thought he was
right behind me.

Go after him!



Monique darling,
is that you?


Yes, Nicki, you would
not believe it.

No, no, no.
Sandra is still
wearing Bob Mackie.

Of course
Arnold was there.

Yes, and Brad
and Jennifer and...

And Melanie
and Antonio.

Oh, and you'll never
guess who Bruce Willis
turned up with.

Just need to freshen up.

Yeah, uh, incredible.

Now, you know I'm not
speaking to Nicole since
that incident in Marbella.


Remmy, it's me.

It's farm boy.
Where's he been
all night?

Where have you
been all night?

It's a long story.

Yeah, well, tell it.

Tell what?

Before I could
get out the window,
the other burglar decked me.

Then when the cops came in,
I had to hide in the bedroom,

pretend I was
Monique's entertainment
for the evening.

Whoa, back up.
There were cops?

There were cops?

Yeah. You think
they were on to us?

Uh, I don't know.

Well, where is he now?

Well, you see,
after the cops left,

before I could
get out of there,

Monique got back.

she thought I was...

He spent the night
with Monique.

It's not what you think.

It's not
what we think.

Uh, listen, you got to
get on back here now.

We only got
24 hours left,
and no jewel.

That's a little tricky.
How's that?

Well, Monique has decided
I'm part of her entourage now.

Doesn't want me
out of her sight.

Monique wants him
to stay.

tell her you've got
something to do.

Tell her...
I heard.

You see, another part
of her entourage are
a couple of prize baby bulls

whose job it is to
make sure that I don't
get out of her sight.

What? What?

Well, you got to do
what you got to do.

By the way, that guy
Diana had a date with
last night is a cop.

Where is she right now?

She's having
breakfast with him.

(YELLS) What?

GRANT: I'm really sorry
about last night.

It was awful of me
to just disappear
like that.

Well, I got your note.
"Urgent business."

I was only gone
for a few minutes,

but when I got back,
you were gone.

Well, I never interfere
with "urgent business."

I guess I can't blame you
for being upset.

Look, Diana, l haven't been
completely honest with you.

I don't really
sell Living Gems.


I'm in the business,
but my job is to protect them.

I work for
an insurance company.

We carry policies on
most of the Living Gems
on display at this festival.

Last night, there was
an attempt on a collection
here in the hotel.

Someone broke
into the computer
security system

and deleted all
the safe combinations.

We had to reprogram
the system with
a new antihack shield.

How, uh... Unfortunate.

I need your help,

As a matter of fact,
your friends can help too.

My only other female agent
is on assignment in New York.

A movie company is throwing
a big party tonight.
Would you go with me?

And wear the Star
of La Paz?

He's not a cop. He's an
insurance investigator.

And he wants me to wear
the most precious Living Gem
in the world,

tonight, at the party.

He's using you as bait
to catch the thief.

I know.

Isn't it great?

Not really.

Don't you see?
We've been racking
our brains

trying to figure out a way
to steal one of these things,

and this guy just
wants to give us one.

He wants me
to wear it tonight
to the party.

Then I'll put it
in the safe.

When the burglar comes,
bam! The trap is shut.

Do I need to remind you
that we are the burglar?

Not tonight.
There's another one,

All we have to do
is hang on to the gem
till the slide,

and make sure the cops
catch the other burglar.

Oh, is that all?





The safe is this way.

Allow me.

We're in.

All done.

That gem had absolutely
nothing to do with
how beautiful you look.

Thank you.

Shall we?


I'm gonna go
make a few phone calls.

You just
hold this attitude
till I get back.


I'll be right back.

This is Grant.
I'm in position.

Yeah, we read you.
So far nothing
to report.

Keep an eye out.

Remmy, there he is.

Okay, listen,
there's someone
moving on the ledge.

Let's move.

He's in the suite.

That's not our suite.

Rembrandt, are you sure
you saw the burglar
come into this suite?

I told you
that's not our suite.

I counted
the windows wrong,
so sue me.

I need you to come with me.
We need to check the safe.
There's been a problem.

I'm in the suite.

Diana's opening the safe
right now.


Grab this.

We've got it! We've got it!
Check the adjacent suite.

Hello, Miss Mansfield.

The burglar went
in the adjacent suite,

cracked a hole
in the wall and went in
the back of your safe.

It's pretty clever.
That's the weakest part.

Yeah, Diana's timing
is the strongest part.

Well, it's a shame
we didn't recover
the Star of La Paz.

There's a $100,000 reward
and you people
surely deserve it.

it's funny, we suspected
Monique Mansfield

ever since
the Cannes Festival.

There were two
Living Gems thefts there

and then two more
at the Venice Festival.

Yeah, but what I
don't understand

is why would a rich
movie star need
to steal jewelry?

Yeah, and why would
they want to break
into their own suite?

Well, probably part
of an insurance scam.

He'd steal his own gem
and then file a big claim
with my company.

I mean, as you may
have noticed, Monique has
quite a large overhead and...

Well, his career hadn't
been going so well lately.

Did he say "he"
and "his"?

You didn't know?

Monique Mansfield is
the most successful

cross-dressing performer
in the world.


Where has he been?

That's what I'd like
to know.

Anyway, I think
people are starting
to get tired of his act.

That's probably why
he turned to burglary.

That explains the punch.


In all the confusion,
I almost forgot
where I put it.

I was afraid the thief
might get away,

so I put it
in my coat pocket.

I hope you'll be staying
in town long enough for me
to buy you another dinner.

After we get the reward.

Of course.
I'll have a check
cut at once.

You know, instead,
I think I might like

one of those Living Gems
for my very own.

One worth about 100,000.

You think
you could arrange that?

It's unusual, but,
sure, why not.

You cracked the case.

I swear to God,
we just talked
about movies.


DIANA: Okay.
That should do it.

Great. How much time
to the slide?

Oh, oh,
about 20 seconds.


This thing was giving us
the wrong reading.

I'm glad we put
the new gem in place
in time.

You know, I'm just glad
that we could relax

and spend
some quality time
with new friends.

Well, I'm never going
to see that man again.

Yeah, and poor Mallory,
he's never gonna see
his man again either.