Sliders (1995–2000): Season 1, Episode 1 - Pilot - full transcript

Oh my god, it was
great. You should've seen.

I mean, it was
great. This thing.

No, no, no, this weird thing.

This big weird thing
just right here

just came out of nowhere.

Just whoosh, whoosh.

Just--
Quinn!

I think I just
knocked out the power.

Good
morning, Northern California.

Day Tripper with you.

What are you people
doing still in bed?



Will you tell me that?

I mean, I can understand
the people in San Francisco.

You know, don't get me wrong.

But you folks in the East Bay,
you folks on the peninsula,

you've got jobs.

Come on, let's get
going. Let's get hopping.

Special show for you today
here with the Day Tripper.

All morning long,

our first annual Miss
Nude Feminist Pageant.

I'm serious.

Very angry gals coming
in all morning long

to take their tops off.

You got to stay tuned.

You don't want to
miss a minute of it.



Morning, Mom.

Morning.

I gotta fly. I got
a million things I--

Eat.

You're too much
like your father,

up all night
working crazy hours.

And look what happened to him.
He worked himself to death.

Mom, dad was hit by a car.

But he was on his way to work.

That's my point. He had
too much on his mind.

Better than too little.

Is that the same shirt
you had on yesterday?

What? I took a shower.

Young man, there's a clean
pile of laundry on the dryer.

Run downstairs and
pick something.

Oh, well it's about
time you got to those.

That pile has been on
my floor for a week.

And when are you
gonna make up my room?

You just watch it,
Buster. Two more semesters.

And I'm turning this place
into a bed and breakfast.

I got dibs on the basement.

That's the only reason you're
not on the streets already.

Gonna take years to get
rid of all that junk.

September 13th,
my attempt to create

the world's first
antigravity device has taken

a decidedly bizarre turn.

Antigrav, uh uh. Something
else, definitely.

But what?

Woo!

September 21st, after
days of careful analysis,

I've come to the conclusion
that the center of the ring

could be the mouth of
a tunnel or a gateway

to another existence.

Quinn, don't you
have class today?

You know, Michael, I worry
about that kid sometimes.

He's too smart for his own good.

Who are
you talking to?

Your father and I were
having a private conversation.

Well, tell him I said hi. Yes.

Bye, Mom.

Bye.

It's time to
overthrow the chains

of capitalist oppression.

Communism will sweep
the world, and the days

of the U.S. imperialist
war machine are numbered.

Take heed, boy.

Join the revolution or
suffer the consequences.

Thanks for the warning.

As even the most
intellectually impoverished

physicist knows, the
largest symmetry group

of a single Dirac field is?

The silence is deafening.

Oh, come along. Come along.

You're supposed to be the
brightest of the bright.

The best there is.
You are my students.

Miss Thackery.

Montague?

Mr. Wing?

Mr. Mallory, I have devoted
many years of my life

honing my considerable
intelligence so
that I could impart

a subject this
complex with lucidity.

You might at least do
me the courtesy, sir,

to pretend that you're
listening to me.

I won't even bother
to ask you the answer,

which is, my dear
babes in the wood, U4.

That's U4, Mr. Benish, not U2.

Ladies and gentlemen,
you disappoint me.

This intellectual torpor may
be sufficient to earn you

a job in some disaster-prone
part of the world like

Chernobyl or NASA, but it
won't cut the mustard with me.

I should have gone to law
school like my old man wanted.

This relativistic quantum pop
cosmology is such a mind warp.

If you ask me, Professor
Arturo's not nearly as smart

as he thinks he is.

Oh, the man should
be a Nobel Laureate

for his theory on passive
wormholes and .

And I just read his thesis
on Dirac field anomalies.

It's killer.

That's not on the
class list, is it?

No, just a little
light reading.

Look, there's really no sense

in dropping 20,000 on
this system right now.

Uh huh.
I'd wait a month.

The CD-ROM seek rates are still

in the 130 millisecond range.

Wow.
There's tons

of screen flicker, and the
new Pentium controller chips

from Intel will make
these MX480s obsolete.

Now I know I'll be back.

Why don't you two
poke around here?

I'll be back in a minute.

All right.

Hi, Quinn.

Hey, I scored those
hockey tickets.

Oh, great.

My ex-boyfriend's
got connections.

You know, I can't believe
he actually got jealous.

He thinks that I'm going on
some hot date. Funny, huh?

Wade.

Uh oh, watch it, Mr. Computer
Boy is on the war path.

Oh, Mallory, how
good of you to join us.

And only nine minutes
late this time.

God, will wonders never cease.

$20,000 just walked
out the front door.

So next month they'll
spend 50 on the 680s.

She's right, Michael.

I told you not to
order those things.

Every single hard
drive has crashed.

Hey, don't get smart with me.

This computer store
pays your rent, Mister.

If it weren't for my mistakes,
you'd be out of a job.

One missing piece.

You'd think after three months,
I'd be able to crack it.

Some genius.

But while searching for the
answer, accidents may happen.

Amazing accidents.

September 25th.

For three days, I've been
sending objects into the void.

A paper airplane, Rubik's
Cube, even my T. Rex.

I figured the carnivore
could take care of himself.

All vanished without a trace.

Last night, I perfected
a timing device

designed to return things from
wherever it is they're going.

I sent another object in
19 minutes, 40 seconds ago

with the timer
set on 20 minutes.

With any luck, it should
be returning right about--

Now.

And the crowd goes crazy.

September 26th.

I've been thinking about
sending Schrodinger through.

First cat into the void.

But if anything were to happen,

I knew I couldn't
live with that.

Still, the need
to know overwhelms

the human instinct
for self-preservation.

Of course, sending the
camera is the logical choice,

but the electrical
field nukes the picture.

So.

Tomorrow morning, I myself
will step through the gate

and finally see what's
on the other side.

September 27th. Well,
here goes nothing.

I've set the timer
for 15 minutes.

But well, Mom, in the
event something goes wrong

and I don't return, this
is a message for you.

I want you to know that
I love you very much,

and I hope you understand
that I have to do this.

Try not to worry.

You know me, wherever I am,
I'm probably having a blast.

Oh, and don't throw
out any of my stuff.

Who knows, I might
make it back one day.

See you soon, Schrodinger.

I hope.

Oh no.

I don't believe this.

Quinn, honey,
don't you have class today?

I'm a failure, Schrodinger.

I'm right back where I started.

And
I have been skeptical

about this scientific theory
so called about global cooling.

But I don't know,
maybe it's true.

I'll tell you.

The air conditioning has got
this studio so cold right now,

no wonder nobody wants
to come in here topless.

What are you, blind?

It's a green light
for crying out loud!

And
this is kinda sad.

This is the day when the
very last CD rolls off

the assembly line,
if they roll off.

I don't know how
they get off it.

But apparently they just--

The vinyl LP won the battle.

And vinyl, ladies and
gentlemen, is here to stay.

Everybody's crazy.

You know, did you see this
in the paper this morning?

Jack Kennedy does not want
to run for another term.

And I can understand
this, people.

Because if you start the
day in bed with Marilyn,

that's where you want
to spend the day.

Weird, Tripper. Weird
and not real funny.

Hey, come on!

What's your problem?

Where'd you learn to drive?

Let's go! Let's go!

All right. All right.

And this
really gets my goat.

Now the Mexican government
is complaining about

all the Americans
who are moving across

the border illegally
to live in Mexico.

What? What's going on?
I mean, please.

If these people just care
about getting a better job

and a higher standard of
living, good riddance to 'em.

My god. Where am I?

Red is go. Green is stop.

Red is go. Green is stop.

What did you do,
honey? Forget something?

Mom, look at you. You're...

I mean, you and Jake?
He's our gardener.

Oh my.

Mom?

What is it?

Mom!

Quinn, honey, honey, honey,
put me down and get to school.

You're gonna be late again.

Oh, but I'm home, Mom. Home.

Jake, Jake, how you
doing? Great to see you.

You look great.
Better than ever.

I'm sorry, Professor.
Forgive me.

I don't mean to interrupt,
but we have to talk.

I do not believe that we
have anything more to say

to each other, Mr. Mallory.

Professor, the
Einstein-Rosen-Podolsky bridge.

I crossed it.

Get out of my class!

Wait, what's happening here?

Very well. If you
will not leave, I will.

Don't you ever talk about
my theories like that again.

Class dismissed.

Really?

Man, I can't
believe you came back.

The guy's Three Mile Island.

It's gonna take him
years to cool off.

He's right, dude.

I mean, I think Arturo is
a pompous windbag, too,

but I'd never have the
guts to say it to his face.

Big time congrats.

Quinn, what are
you doing here?

I work here, remember?

Not anymore you don't.
Have you completely flipped?

Get out of here before
he calls the cops.

Who, Hurley? Come on,
Wade, I'm not that late.

The man just fired you.

For what?

For telling him to stick
his computers where--

There's something
really strange going on.

I swear to god that was not me.

Oh right, and I suppose
now you're gonna tell me

that that kiss meant nothing.

Kiss?

Oh my God.

I kissed Hurley. No
wonder I'm fired.

Will you stop
it? It was with me.

And don't you dare tell me
that you don't remember.

But that's just it.

Why would I kiss you? I
mean, we're buds, right?

It'd be like incest.
What else did I do?

I don't think
that this is funny.

You're right, it's
not. Please wait.

Humor me. I'm losing my mind.

Yeah, I'll stay. You've
completely snapped.

It's like I'm Dr.
Jekyll all of a sudden.

It was really great.
The look on his face.

Wade.

Look, Quinn, you
better get out of here.

Go home and get some rest.

That brain of
yours is fried. Go.

Had an accident on the job?

I know how to explain
the law to secure

the benefits you deserve.

I was relaxing on
the job when someone

accidentally dropped
an anvil on my head.

Ross J. Kelly got me $1 million.

I'm Ross J. Kelly, and I
won't take no for an answer.

I'll fight for you.

Excuse me, Anne.

Oh, hello, Clark.

Can I see you
in my office for a moment?

You're home early.

Well, certainly.
Is anything the matter?

Mom, have I done anything
to upset you today?

Not that I'm aware of.
Why, are you planning to?

God, I hope not.

Oh man, did I lock you down
here, Schrod? I'm sorry.

Nothing makes sense anymore.

Stepping into the hole must
have messed up my mind.

Maybe the energy field
causes hallucinate...

Oh my god. Who did this?

I did.

Or should I say you did?

Who are you?

Isn't it obvious? I'm you.

My god. The gateway,
it split me in half.

Not hardly. I'm you, Quinn,
but I'm not from this world.

I'm from another Earth,

an Earth that exists in
a parallel dimension.

There may be hundreds,
even thousands of Earths

all coexisting on the same

multidimensional
space-time continuum.

How do you know that?

Because I'm a slider,

and this happens to
be my eighth slide.

Slider?

Yeah, a little term I
cooked up. You like it?

Yeah, it's pretty cool.

You probably would've
dreamt it up yourself

sooner or later.

It's a safe bet we
think alike. Mostly.

That's the entrance
to a wormhole that
runs between worlds.

When you step inside, you slide
through to another universe

completely distinct and
separate from your own.

Can you choose
your destination?

Afraid not, or
at least not yet.

Think of a roulette wheel with
an infinite number of slots.

Each slot representing a
different planet Earth.

Each time you slide,
you're spinning the wheel

never knowing where
the ball will come up.

Quinn, telephone!

I'll call 'em back.
I'll call 'em back.

Sorry.

I am amazed that you slid
without knowing this.

I solved that old
thing months ago.

Now thanks to me, you
got the answer too.

And you owe me big, hombre.

Thanks to you, I lost my job.

Computer Hell?
I did you a favor.

That guy Hurley's a putz on
every world I've been to.

Amazing.

Oh, I gotta go. Wife's waiting.

Been married now two years.

You're gonna love
sliding, Quinn.

I've been to a
world where the Cubs

have won three
straight World Series.

Get out.

I once stepped onto an Earth
just this side of paradise

where there's no pollution,
no crime or hate.

People were happy, and a
stranger was welcomed with love.

No one was afraid there, Quinn.

Think about that.
No one's afraid.

I'd set the timer for 20 hours
before I left home that day.

Not nearly enough time
in a world like that.

I hope I find it again.

I'll always keep looking.

Oh, and about the
timer, I gotta warn you.

This is important.

No matter what happens
during a slide--

I can't hear you.

Yes?

Hi, Mrs. Mallory, I'm
Wade. I work with Quinn.

Oh, it's nice to finally
meet you. Please come in.

And I am professor
Maximilian Arturo.

Oh, isn't this an honor.

My son thinks the world
of you, Professor.

He does?

Oh, well we had a little
bit of an altercation today,

and I believe that he
wishes to apologize to me.

Well, he's in the
basement as usual.

♪ My friends ask me why I cry ♪

♪ Cry ♪

♪ It's because I feel
like I wanna die ♪

Turn that off,
will you, Artie?

Don't need to hearing
any of that old stuff

the night of my big comeback.

I love the Spinning Tops.

Wish to hell you'd
never left them.

They ain't
nothing without Rembrandt.

Straight down the tubes
the minute I walked.

Uh huh. Who are you kiddin'?

15 number one hits minus you.

13, and they were all flukes.

What counts is the Cryin' Man

is bigger and better than ever.

Yeah, he don't need no
has-been Spinning Tops

leaching all this glory.

Hey, Arnie, the comeback
is gonna shock the world.

I will be bigger
than ever, yeah.

All my fans will be flocking
to the field tonight.

Remi, you're singing the
anthem at a Giants game,

not performing for the queen.

It's a start, that's all.

It is a rebirth, and wait
till you see my new look.

It's gonna floor you, my man,
because it's totally '90s.

Yes, sir.

Yeah, I'll show you.

Ow.

'90s, baby. Cryin' Man is back.

What on Earth?

Wow, the Batcave.

Oh, great, great.

Come on in. Make
yourselves at home.

I'll be with you in one second.

Mr. Mallory, my
time is valuable.

Please don't insult
me by wasting it.

If you have something
to say to me, then...

Oh my god. You've solved it.

Oh, that.

Yeah, I can explain. One sec.

Explain?

This piece here is a proof
of a unified field theory.

That alone is the holy grail
of theoretical physics.

This elegance is found
here in the basement

of this unknown, unkempt,

unpublished, unfortunately
brilliant, ill-mannered brat.

It gets better, a lot better.

♪ And the rockets red glare ♪

♪ The bombs bursting in air ♪

♪ Over there, over
there, over there ♪

♪ Gave proof through the night ♪

♪ That our flag
was still there ♪

The concept of a
parallel universe

is a mathematical abstraction.

It's a theoretical concept.

But to imagine that
we have the technology

to build a portal into an
alternative universe and then

move in and out of it, why,
that's absolute nonsense.

Next you'll be telling me your
dog's eaten your homework.

I don't have a dog.

Ladies and gentlemen,
back by popular demand,

the highlight of the evening,

the Cryin' Man, Mr.
Rembrandt Brown.

♪ Oh say can you see ♪

Welcome
to the pregame show.

Well, fans, the Giants
made a roster move today

that came as little surprise.

Shortstop Vick Smith,
who's been struggling

with the leather, three errors
last night, was sent down

to triple A Phoenix to
the Pacific Coast League.

The Giants hope the
youngster will learn to relax

and regain his confidence.

Who cares about Vick
Smith? They have the man.

People want to know
who's singing the anthem.

You mean that we can just
like slide through this

and boom, we're
on another planet?

No. Same planet,
different dimension.

And it's safe,
right? That is so cool.

Where do I sign up?

Don't be a child.
This is not a toy.

Hey, lighten up.
Quinn's done it.

And his double's gone
through nearly a dozen times.

Do you have something
better to do?

This wormhole must
be carefully studied.

All its permutations
must be calculated.

Fine, you work
out the numbers.

Quinn and I are gonna take
a spin around the universe.

Are you serious?

Coming?

Fine, then in the
interest of science,

I suppose I must go along
with you for this joyride.

What do you think, five hours?

That should give
us time to explore

and still be home by midnight.

Yes, I would imagine you'll
want a good night's sleep

before your class tomorrow.

It should be quite a doozy.

Do you think we'll all fit?

Maybe I should
increase the power.

The question is, how much?

God help us.

So help me, Quinn Mallory,
if you blow another fuse.

My wheels. My
beautiful wheels.

Jesus, Mary, and Joseph,
I think I've just seen God,

and I could've sworn he
was driving a Cadillac.

You okay?

Oh man, that was so great.

It was like better than sex.

Well, I wouldn't go that far.

Quinn, where are we?

In my basement.

If there's a me living here,

I guess he never turned
it into a laboratory.

If we're lucky, there could
be candles above the washer.

What's that?

My family.

I mean, the family that
lives, lived, here.

It's Popper, he ran away
when he was just a puppy.

We never found him.

Who's the girl?

Must be the
sister I never had.

Look at this place.

Hey, guys!
Who are you and where am I?

My god, Hell really
did freeze over.

We're not
in Kansas anymore.

It would appear that our
roulette wheel has landed us on

a world that has suffered a
terrible, climactic cataclysm.

Nuclear winter?

Quite possibly, or a
shifting of the Earth's axis,

or some sort of
ecological disaster.

The question is, how
are we getting home?

The same way we came.

The timer will be
returning us to my basement

in about four hours.

Four hours? That's like four
years in a place like this.

No, actually string
theory dictates

that time will remain the
same in all parallel worlds.

Present day wherever we are.

In fact, time will
always remain concurrent

during all
interdimensional slides.

You want to roll
that by me again, man,

in English this time?

Well, four hours
spent here is the same

as four hours
spent on our Earth.

So if now's now, I can still
make the game and do the gig.

You taking me back, man, and
you doing it this instant.

But I don't think I'm
supposed to alter the timer.

The other Quinn, he was
trying to warn me about that,

but his voice, it kept fading.

Hold it a minute, guys.
Do you hear something?

Look out there.

End of discussion, cue
ball. We out of here!

What's going on?

Come on.

I hope we're doing
the right thing.

Anywhere is better than here.

Let's go, let's go, let's go!

Come on, come on,
come on, come on!

I'm trying. Something's wrong.

People. All right, move it!

Give me a leg up.

Come on, Wade.

All right, come on.

Come on! Come on!

You ready?

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

My car. What about my car?

Up, up, up, up, up!

Whoa!

Man, that trip was a trip.

Professor, where's Quinn?

Wasn't he right behind you?
Didn't you see him in the void?

Girl, I didn't see a thing.
I flew with my eyes closed.

Well, what if
he didn't make it?

We have to go back.

My dear child,
that portal opens

on an infinite
number of universes.

I don't care.

There's no way of
controlling the journey back.

If he didn't make it, we
may never see him again.

Please, Quinn. Please
don't let me lose you.

Please.

♪ Crying like man ♪

♪ Cry like a man ♪
♪ Oh yes I can ♪

♪ Yes I can ♪

♪ If you had a heart, maybe
you'd start to understand ♪

♪ You're breakin'
my heart here ♪

♪ Cry like a man ♪

♪ Wait a minute ♪
♪ Oh oh oh ♪

♪ I feel a tear comin'
out of this side ♪

♪ Cry like a man ♪

♪ Oh, and a tear falling
from my other eye ♪

♪ Cry like a man ♪

♪ Brothers, somebody ♪
♪ Oh oh oh ♪

♪ Somebody hand me a
handkerchief please ♪

♪ Cry like a man ♪