Six Feet Under (2001–2005): Season 4, Episode 7 - The Dare - full transcript

Dr. Earl, OR 3.

- What's the matter?
- I'm scared.

Don't be.
Everything's gonna be fine.

Come on, come on.

I'm almost done.

Okay.

At first I just thought they'd go away,
but they never did.

They just kept
growing and growing.

I see you've
had symptoms.

Mainly just indigestion
which I've always had.

Even as a child,
I had a nervous stomach.



But there's also been vomiting
and blood in your stool?

Why didn't
you call me?

I knew we should.
Somehow I just kept...

putting it off.

We were supposed to go
to Florida next week to visit our son.

We haven't seen him
in over a year.

We were gonna call you
as soon as we got back,

but... the pain
got too bad.

I wish you had called me
as soon as you...

well...

we'll just start
doing some tests

and hope for the best.

What would
be the worst?

That these
are two tumors



which may have
metastasized and spread.

Oh Jeez.

What are the chances,
if that's the case?

Let's just do the tests
and hope for the best.

- Claire?
- Oh, morning.

It's not very good.

I think mom's machine's
a little more low-tech.

Sometimes I miss the days
when coffee was just coffee.

Oh, I have a huge
darkroom day today,

but hopefully I'll be back
in time for dinner.

You know what?
I don't want you to stay here anymore.

- It's too much.
- No, it isn't.

It is.
I was bad before,

but now I'm starting
to sleep a little.

I haven't had a panic attack
in two days

and I've even cut down
on all the Ativan,

so you are officially
evicted as of today.

David, are you sure?
You seem...

Jeez, this coffee
really is gross.

I don't know, I think
maybe I should stay.

I don't need my baby sister
babysitting me anymore, okay?

Did you hear
those two cats having sex

- in the alley last night?
- They were worse than Mom and George.

I don't know why they do it.
It sounds like it's so painful.

I mean, they live
in an alley.

They deserve some
kind of diversion, don't you think?

Did you hear
what I said?

Yes, you can't
see me anymore.

It's over.
Goodbye.

Goodbye, Rico.
Then get outta here.

I am so stupid!
I hid that pack of cigarettes

from myself so good
I can't find them!

Did you look on top
of the refrigerator?

I just want to say
that I'm sorry,

but I just feel like this
isn't right in some way...

- to my wife and to my kids...
- Oh, yeah?

And why is that?

This is not
about fucking.

You made that
plain and clear.

This is about
just being friends.

I think I need
more guy friends.

Of course you tell me today
when my lupus is acting up.

You know, I gave you
all that money

and I never heard a word
about you going to a doctor.

- Did you even go to one...
- I got the damn lupus!

You never
even liked me.

This was about you
needing to feel like a big man,

and now that you
got what you need, you're done.

Okay.

Just leave the gift
that you promised Nicole

- and get out of here.
- Oh shit.

You didn't even bring
the dumb "Jack the Pig" book

- you been going on and on about?
- I left it at work.

- I could bring it by tomorrow.
- Forget it.

She needs to learn...

people promise
you things...

but then leave
when they get tired of you.

She's George's
new wife,

the one who
came after you.

Jesus, lady.
What the hell are you doing?

George is gonna kill you
if he finds you messing with his things.

You're snooping.
You're too snoopy.

I was too snoopy and he
got rid of me but quick.

Boy, you are
some dumb cluck.

Do you want to know
why George doesn't like

to be asked anything
about his past?

Yes, I do. Tell me.
Please, tell me.

What doesn't
he want me to know?!

Why can't I
know anything?!

All of these caskets
are available

with customized
inserts.

You can have
your wife's name,

her favorite
Bible verse,

a family photo.

Is there one
that appeals to you?

I-I don't know, son.

You seemed to like
the blue one.

There's just a lot
of different options.

I think that maybe you need to take
a little time to look.

I'll give you two
a moment to decide.

- Okay.
- Thank you.

You were supposed to be
here 40 minutes ago.

Maya's still not
used to day care yet.

I had to stay
with her for a while.

No one was here
to meet the Morrisons.

- Well, where were you?
- That's not the point.

You said you were
gonna talk about

the arrangements with Mom.
She must have told you what she wanted.

I tried to
bring it up with her.

It always seemed
like a bad time.

Fine. Then...

what do you want?

You pick the casket,

then we'll talk about who's gonna
speak at this thing.

Dad, I need to know
what you want here.

I want her back.

I want things back
the way they used to be.

Yeah, well,
it's too late now.

If you guys hadn't been so scared
about facing the truth,

maybe Mom would be alive
and we wouldn't have to fucking decide

about what casket
she's gonna be buried in.

So apparently the father
never said a word to anyone

as the tumors just kept
getting bigger and bigger.

Man, I don't
understand people.

I get it.

Having to admit fucked up shit about
yourself fucking sucks.

Oh, come on!

David's been
cleaning again.

Yeah, well, so what?
It relaxes him.

Honestly,
it's a little annoying.

I could have used him
upstairs with the Morrisons.

I'm doing intakes.
David's staying down here.

I know that David doesn't want
to be around people right now,

but if you've decided you wanted to come
back to the business, then be back.

The two of you are acting like you can
come and go and do whatever you want.

Why are we buying
the fake Windex

when the real kind is
the only one that works?

I'll get some
real Windex later.

Since there's nothing
going on here now,

would you mind
swinging by the hospital

to pick up
Mrs. Morrison?

Um... I'm cleaning.

That's fine, we'll
figure something out.

Didn't I just have a rag?
I must have left it out there.

I don't know
where my mind is.

David can't take
the van out anymore.

The van is
where it happened.

That's fine.
Then you go.

Actually, Maya and I
have to go to the...

- Maya's in day care.
- That's right,

and there's this
get-together once a month

where we get together
with the other parents.

Fine. I'll go.

Great.

So long as you're out,
can you get the real Windex?

Anita?

- Hey.
- Oh, hey.

Anita went over to Russell's, so I just
decided to hang out and wait for you.

What are you hiding?

Oh.

Nothing, it's just
one of my photos.

Oh.

It's one of the ones
I took of you.

Okay, so it's bad.

It's not.
It's really good.

- Then why can't I see it?
- It's too good.

It's like I can't believe this
actually came out of me.

It's so good, I don't
even want anyone to see it.

I'm not even gonna show it
at my crit tomorrow because...

I don't know...
it's just for me.

- Is that crazy?
- Not at all.

- It's so beautiful.
- I know.

I love this shadow
that goes across your face.

- It's so cool.
- You've got to show this at your crit.

What are you
so scared of?

Uh...

Look at
my expression.

It's nice to know that finally my hours
of watching

"America's Next Top Model"
have paid off.

I definitely
owe you one for this.

I'll think about how
I can collect on that.

So, are you available
next Tuesday?

Nate, I told you
this is the last time.

That's what you said last week
and the week before that.

No, this is
the last last time.

All right, fine.

We'll never talk again.

- Until you call me tomorrow.
- Oh.

Oh, God.
I don't know why I'm doing this.

It's all
Joe's fault.

If only he enjoyed nice,
normal, perfectly average sex.

Wait a minute. Wasn't I a little
above average back there,

at least for
a few seconds?

No, as opposed to what I told you
about me and Joe.

- What the hurt-me-mommy stuff?
- Oh, stop.

Give me a break, Bren.

- Excuse me?
- This isn't about Joe. It's about you.

I of all people
should know.

What is that
supposed to mean?

You and Joe
move in together.

You get scared
by the intimacy.

You freak out and you have sex
outside the relationship.

You can't fool me,
I used to be Joe.

Well, this is all
very illuminating.

What about you?
Why are you doing this?

Why not? Right now,
I'm at a place in my life

- where I just want to have some fun.
- Of course.

This couldn't be just
another way for you to avoid

having a permanent,
real relationship.

- What are you looking for?
- The condom.

I dropped it on the floor
when I took it off and now I can't...

oh... here it is.

Sperm is...

I don't know.

It seems so tiny
to be able to do so much.

I know.

It's odd.

I'm going to be gone
all day tomorrow.

Okay.

I'm going to hunt
for fossils in Cold Canyon

like I do every year.

Oh, that's nice. I know how much
your annual fossil hunt means to you.

You could come with me,

if you wouldn't
find it too boring.

I don't know. I have to return
some books to the library.

You don't have
to invite me.

I'm happy for you to do whatever
you want whenever you want

with whomever you want.

Okay.

But I want to go
fossil hunting

so I will go
fossil hunting, darn it.

Okay, now I'm starting
to freak out!

- I'm sure we'll find it.
- It's my favorite earring.

I know, you keep
saying that.

Hey, when Javier
gets here,

- I'm sure we'll figure something out.
- Nothing yet,

but I've got five of Detroit's
finest looking for it.

If it's in this auditorium,
they'll find it.

It was given to me
by the only person

who ever really really loved me.
Now it's lost.

Oh God, when will someone
ever love me again?

The real me?

Everyone else has someone.

Here is the entire
universe and here is me.

You're just exhausted. You need to go
back to your room and get some sleep.

Please don't minimize
my severe depression.

I would never
do that to you.

There's only one thing
that'll make me feel better.

Just give me a few moments
then we'll blow out of here.

- Well, we're fucked.
- What do you mean?

Halfway through the tour,
she always gets really depressed.

So then we go to whatever
stupid gay club we can find

that's still open so she can get
worshipped by the fags.

- We're going to a gay club?
- Yeah, dude.

Try to act
a little cooler about it.

#... Good lovin'
can set me free #

# Ooh, baby #

# Don't you
leave me this way... #

Gimme gimme some pleasure!

Midwestern queers
really creep me out.

I know what you mean.

# Please don't leave me
this way #

# Ooh, baby... #

- Keith Charles.
- Are you still working?

Yeah, late night.

I'm sorry, I just
couldn't sleep and l...

It sounds like you're
in a bar.

I am. I'm with Celeste.

She's fighting
a severe depression.

Oh, baby!

Uh...
that's a gay bar.

Dude, Celeste is
looking over here.

I think she's annoyed
you ain't looking at her.

Listen, I gotta go.

- I'll call you in the morning.
- Sorry to bother you.

If anybody gets mad, just tell them
your wife's on her woman's time.

They'll feel bad for you that I'm such
a bitch when I'm on the rag. Night.

# Only your good lovin'
can set me free #

- # Set me free... #
- Your old lady pissed off?

You could've just told her you
was at some fag bar,

and there was no chance you were taking
home some pussy tonight.

Yeah.
Javier, I'm gay.

I have a boyfriend.

I sleep with men,
okay?

I have a lot of sex
and it's really really gay.

That's cool, man.

# Believe me. #

Well, that site back there was
completely picked over,

and I'll bet I know
who did it, too.

Last year I caught this guy from USC
trying to follow me...

- George, I think I'm dehydrating.
- Nonsense.

I am. I'm about
to dehydrate.

Why did you drink all
your water so quickly?

I was thirsty.

Here, just have
some of my mine.

I asked you if you had water earlier
and you said you didn't.

Because I thought if you knew, you
wouldn't make your water last as long.

Let's talk about lunch. I always go
to the Inn of the Seventh Ray.

- I'm going to visit my only sister.
- What?

I didn't realize
we were gonna be in Topanga.

She lives a few miles from here

and I haven't seen her in ages
and it's only right.

Family is very important to me
even if it isn't to you.

Jesus. God.

Mom was hunting
for fossils?

Why would a person
hunt for fossils?

Apparently, because
their husband does.

This is great. I was gonna ask her
to babysit for me tonight.

I'm busy.

So you're out
a lot lately.

- Is this something serious?
- No, of course not.

Maile's just this girl that I worked
with at doggie day care.

I've seen her a few times,
but she's just... just fun.

I think it's really weird you worked
at a dog place for like six seconds.

Well, it wasn't exactly my decision
to leave, now was it?

Ugh, people who write
Op-Ed pieces should be shot.

Hey, what time is
the movie tonight?

Um, actually, I'm gonna
be seeing Russell tonight,

and I plan on staying
over at his apartment.

It's purely
a physical thing, but...

it's something very
intense I need to explore.

Hey, Claire, if you're having
any emotions about it,

now is as good a time
as any to express them.

No, it isn't.

Oh.

Look,
do whatever you want.

So it'll just be
me and Edie tonight.

I'm fine.

I've just been working on
Mrs. Morrison for 110 years.

- It's the tumor lady.
- Oh.

Her body's totally shot from the chemo
and the radiation. She's all crumbly.

Edie and I are going to the movies
tonight, if you want to join.

Girls night out?
I'm there, totally.

# I'm a lonely little
petunia in an onion patch #

# An onion patch,
an onion patch #

# I'm a lonely little
petunia in an onion patch #

# And all I do
is cry all day #

# Boo-hoo #

# Boo-hoo-hoo. #

What the hell is that?

My mother used
to sing that to us.

Well, that
explains a lot.

Why is it that
when you move,

you can never find the things
that you actually want?

You just find the things that you regret
bringing and not throwing away.

- I never hold onto anything.
- Smart.

You should
be proud of that.

I'm thinking about building some shelves
in the other bedroom.

That's not one of those things
you really need to know

how to do in order
to be able to do it, right?

Let's finish all this settling in
later and watch bad TV.

Okay, but we're gonna have to make
a decision at some point.

Office isn't always
gonna be an office.

It's gonna be
a nursery as soon as...

I mean, you might
already be pregnant.

- Oh, I'm not. I got it yesterday.
- Oh.

So that's why
you looked so sad

when you came home
late after class.

Why didn't
you tell me?

I don't know.

Well, look. It was only
our first time up at bat.

I'm sure this month
it'll happen.

- Maybe it's for the best.
- Yeah, exactly.

We get another month where
it's just the two of us.

We have to learn to appreciate those
while we still have them.

Yeah.

Well, it's definitely
an improvement,

yet there's
still something...

unsatisfying about these.

Does anyone
know what it is?

- Hmm?
- They're technically good.

It's just
that they're...

finite.

Elise, that is
a beautiful way to put it.

They show us something, but they don't
leave us with anything to ponder.

All except...
this one.

Claire,
what do you think

this photograph
is saying?

Um...

it's about being
half-hidden,

what it means
to come out of the shadows.

The woman in the photograph
looks at us

like she wants us
to come closer.

But we don't.

She teases us,
almost like she's daring us.

But what
is the dare?

Is it to touch her?

She looks like
she knows we're scared.

But what's so scary
about this beautiful woman?

What's so scary about
getting close to someone?

Because we don't quite know the answer
to any of these questions,

the photo haunts us.

Nice work, Claire.

- Does anyone else have any comments?
- Yeah.

- I'm really pissed off.
- Why is that, Elise?

Claire takes an erotic picture
of her beautiful girlfriend

and she gets an A just because
you're a lesbian.

This sucks.

- She's not my girlfriend.
- Give me a break.

- Okay, that's enough.
- Anita, tell her she's just my friend.

She's not Claire's
girlfriend...

that I know of.

Why isn't
she answering?

I don't think
there's anyone here.

I suppose
you're right.

- Oh my God.
- Sarah!

Honey?

Ruth?

Oh, for God's sake,
Fisher.

I tell the children
to make the ugliest monster

that lives inside them,
and then we put their pictures on them.

They are
sort of ugly.

- This one is really hideous.
- Oh, that's mine!

I think it's wonderful
that you've become a teacher.

Please, I'm just the crazy art lady who
comes in a few afternoons a week.

I don't have any
actual certification,

so the pay is
pretty terrible.

Yes, but the last
time I saw you...

well, I'm glad you've

put your life together.

Wow, I had no idea.

George has just told me
the entire history of papier-mâché.

It was fascinating.

May I use
your bathroom?

Of course, let me
show you where it is.

So I left five
fucking messages for you

after I came
back into town.

Why haven't
you called me?

- I don't know.
- You look funny.

I was dehydrated
earlier.

Well, now that I have you back,
I'm not gonna let you go.

You have to
stay for dinner.

I have a million
questions for you.

You must have
a million for me.

It's just I've been having
this funny feeling lately.

So this morning
I decided to follow him.

That fucking bastard! I told you he was
gonna do this to you one day.

Come on, maybe there's
a logical explanation. Maybe he...

Oh my God.

What? What is it?
What's going on?

Rico's charity
has a double D.

I will cut
his balls off!

I need you take
the boys tonight.

I need the house
to be empty when I talk to him.

No, I can't.
I'm gonna be here for hours.

This shit show
has been on forever

and none of the regulars
give a fuck anymore.

- I could come by tomorrow and get them.
- Fine.

Are you gonna
be okay tonight?

Don't worry about me.

What if there really
is a handsome prince?

- She's really pretty.
...and he's a really good kisser?

She's gorgeous
but in a really subtle way.

- Am I supposed to be able to breathe?
- No.

- What do you think of her?
- I don't know what makes a girl pretty.

I don't look at
girls that way.

From the producer who
brought you "The Vanishing"...

When you were little
you used to go on and on

about how beautiful you
thought Jennifer Aniston was.

That's because I was parroting what
the culture was telling me to think.

What did you expect?
I was 11.

- Do you love me?
- Yes.

Then I have
everything I need.

If you make a noise,
I'll shoot.

I'll shoot...
I'll shoot...

If you even breathe,
I will shoot you in the spine...

You were told,
"Don't look behind."

I have to
get out of here.

What's going on?

I forgot. There's something
I have to do at work with the, uh...

tumor lady.
Edie, you give Claire a ride home, okay?

Do you have any idea
what's it's like

- to see your life fall apart?
- I understand.

I'm just nervous. It's Maya's
first night with the new sitter.

She seems like
a nice girl.

I used to babysit
when I was a kid.

I hope you hid
all your private papers.

You mean you used to snoop around
people's private things?

All the time.
You wouldn't believe the stuff I found.

Why do the ugliest people always have
the dirtiest photos?

I don't know.

One time...

this widow brought
in the grossest photo

of her husband to help
with the embalming.

He was... wait, you want me
to describe him?

Please, don't.

So, how's it
being back at work?

It's the same old
same old.

I'm just trying not
to let it get me down.

Now, in my off hours I'm concentrating
on relaxing and having fun.

Really?

What kind of things
do you like to do?

I woke up one morning,
the bastard was gone.

Stole $5,000 from me,
and some Tiffany lamps.

But I'd always
hated those anyway.

Oh dear, you must have
been so depressed.

This one?
Are you kidding?

We went to Taos
that night and stayed a week.

Had a blast.

Julia Roberts
and her husband live there.

We chased them around town
like they were wild boars.

How were you
able to do that?

Oh, I figure the only way
you can show everybody

is to have the time
of your life.

George, let's hear
all about you.

- You seem interesting.
- Yeah.

Ruth tells me you had a son
sending you boxes of shit.

- Bettina!
- What?

Like my daughter
hasn't done worse to me?

Come on, you want
to compare war stories?

Actually,
no, I don't.

Do you have
a television?

There's a documentary
on PBS I wouldn't mind

watching a few
minutes of.

Oh, sure.

There's one
in the other room

under that mess
in the corner.

Having a hard night?

Uh...
no, I just...

saw some bad
coming attractions.

That's a new one.

- So what can I get for you?
- Vodka gimlet.

Really?

Yeah, my father
used to drink them

when he wanted
something strong.

Vodka gimlet coming up.

Look at that wimp
over there.

Let's kick the shit
out of him.

- No, let's kill him.
- We could just hide in his car.

- It would be so easy.
- You want this?

The kitchen made
an extra order by mistake.

I see you don't eat
that many fried foods.

No, not so many.

And spend a little
too much on clothes, I noticed too.

Maybe a bit.

And you shave well.

None of the other guys
shave as well as you.

Oh, fuck.
I'm gonna fucking kill Javier.

Why didn't you tell me
you were gay, bitch?

Oh, calm down,
they're the ones who told me.

Javier's got one
big blabbermouth.

I think it's because he's got
a real serious crush on you.

Come on,
he's married.

Javier's straight,
isn't he?

Neil, I met
on match. Com.

- The teacher I met on Salon.
- Ah.

Are these
internet sites safe?

Do they screen
these men?

Of course not, thank God.
If there was any kind of screening,

none of us would
make it through, right?

I remember I really liked "Looking
for Mr. Goodbar" when it came out.

So, is he never
coming in to dinner?

George gets very
caught up sometimes.

He's a very
focused person.

It's a show about
the Elgin Marbles.

I mean, how caught up
can he be?

So, tell me about
the one you're seeing now.

His name is Bernie,

he's a freelance editor
and he has a cat.

- He's nice.
- He's a loser.

Stop that! He's someone
to do things with.

Listen, if all you
can say about a guy

is that he's someone
to do things with,

then that's worse
than being alone.

Well, I like him,
so shut up.

I suppose we should
be getting home.

George drives really
slowly at night

and he doesn't like me to talk
so he can concentrate.

If you want,
you can stay here.

The bed's pretty bad
and the guest room

- has a strange smell...
- We'll take it.

Well, you can have
some more wine then.

And then bam,
the lady was dead

because she let
the tumor get so big.

- Are you listening to me?
- Of course I'm listening.

"And then bam,
the lady was dead

because she let
the tumor get so big."

Can you imagine?

Something horrible just
growing inside of you?

Something terrible
just eating away at your insides?

Yes, actually, I can.

Oh my God,
this is so dirty!

But what with your roommates
and Maya, I just figured...

it's not that dirty.
I'm sure they clean it once in a while.

No, I meant this.

This is so dirty.

Uh, I'll take
one more for the road.

Sorry, buddy,
we're closing.

Oh. Shit.

I can't do this!

What happened?

You were like
in heat before...

I'm sorry, I can't!
I can't!

God, why do I always
pick the crazies?

She's in
a better mood.

Yeah, no gay clubs
tonight.

Oh, hey, someone
called for you

on the stage phone
when you was in the can.

"Higwood Jablome"?

I don't know
a Higwood Jablome.

That doesn't sound right.
Look at it again.

Higwood Jablome.
Don't know him.

No, that's not a G,
that's a Y.

And that's an E,
not an I.

Oh, Heywood.

I don't know
a Heywood Jablome either.

That's not how he said...
let me see.

J-A-B-L-O-M-E.

- Ja-blow-me.
- I don't know this person.

Well, say his name right,
maybe you do.

Okay, okay.
Heywood Jablome.

Heywood Jablome.

- What's so fucking funny?
- Say it again.

- Heywood Jablome!
- Sure, I'll blow you, K.

# Oh, I'm a lonely little
petunia in an onion patch #

# And all I do
is cry all day. #

She seems sweet.
You two would make a lovely couple.

Well, she's just somebody
to have fun with.

We don't really have
that much of a connection.

That's 'cause you
won't let there be one.

Nate, make a connection
with her.

Nah, she's not ready
to settle down.

Now you, you were
ready to settle down.

I'll say,

but I think you two
could get together

and have
a beautiful life.

You can have the life
with her you didn't give me.

- I gave you everything I had, Lis.
- Right.

Here's
my advice to you:

Stop with
the cheap motels,

stop sleeping
with the crazy ex

and try to have
a real relationship with this one.

What's stopping you?

The pain.

What's that
supposed to mean?

I can't ever again
go through the pain

of starting a life
with someone

only to have it
taken away from me.

Oh, please.

Whoa!
Ouch, that hurt!

Life is pain.
Get used to it.

All right.
So, I guess that's it.

Here we are.

Claire, what's
going on here?

I don't know.

I mean, I feel like
maybe you're into me,

but you're just
confused, right?

Because I could
be into you

if I knew you were
into me, you know?

So, I'll need you
to say it.

I can't say it.

Okay, look,
this is what I know.

It's like you
really inspire me.

I want to be
with you all the time.

I feel like you're
this really special person

who makes me feel
like I am more special.

Okay, that sounded
really stupid.

No, it didn't.

This...

I'm sorry.

Hi.

Hey, soldier.
Just checking in.

Bren, can we have
an honest conversation?

Oh, fuck.

I'm sorry, it's just one of us
has to wake up here.

This isn't good for you.
It's not good for me.

This is
keeping us from...

really having
anything good.

And you know what?
We deserve to be happy.

From everything you say,
Joe seems like a good guy...

a little weird,
but then again, so are you.

Give him a chance.

Go be with him,
really be with him.

Give yourself
a chance to be happy.

- What if it's too late?
- It doesn't have to be.

Maybe you can just try
telling him the truth,

what we've been doing.
See where that goes.

That didn't work so well
when I told you the truth.

Well, maybe he's more
mature than I was then.

Hold on a sec.
What?

Why aren't you
watching the funeral?

These things
run themselves.

Where's David?
Now he doesn't even show up to clean?

He wasn't feeling
well this morning.

I told him
to stay at home.

I'm working.
I should go.

Uh... good luck.

Okay, bye.

George seems
nice, Ruth.

He reminds me of someone.

Nathaniel.

You must be joking.
They're so different.

George is so academic
and Nathaniel was so...

Nathaniel.

That jovial nature
masking something else.

Oh, that.

Their intense
privateness,

that need
to withdraw.

Maybe it's true
what they say.

We all pick the same person
over and over again.

There's something
nice about that.

Hey, let's move it.

We better get a move on
or we're gonna be late.

Okay, great.

We feed breakfast burritos
to the homeless twice a week.

Breakfast burritos
on top of everything else?

Oh my goodness.

The teaching, the dating,
chasing Julia Roberts

like a wild boar...
how do you do it?

Ruth...

maybe you want to be
getting out a little more.

It's so much harder to do
things when you're married.

I hear you.

It's not like I've been able to have
a long-term relationship

and not subsume myself.

I wonder why.

Mom.

Maybe that's
our legacy.

But maybe it
doesn't have to be.

- Hey.
- Hey.

- What's going on?
- Nothing.

Oh, it's just
this really sad story

about this man
whose wife left him

because...

he couldn't
control his eating.

And nothing the therapist
or anybody did could

get him to stop eating.
So, she left him

and he had a heart
attack and... died.

Is this your way
of telling me

that I need to cut down
on my snacks?

I've done
something bad.

I think I've been...

really, really
scared about...

my feelings
for you and...

it's caused me
to act out in...

old and familiar
patterns.

Just say it.

I slept with someone

a few times.

This is my problem

that I am obviously continuing
to struggle with.

It's not you.

What are you thinking?
I need to know what you're thinking.

I'm thinking...

I am so fucked.

I never liked anyone
as much as you

and I'm never going to
like anyone as much again.

So...

that's it.

It's over
and this sucks.

It doesn't
have to be over.

It could be like...

a new beginning.

- Do I know this person?
- No.

So, what do you
think of it

being like a beginning?

Not much.

So what do you think
it all means?

Okay.
Heywood Jablome.

Heywood Jablome.
This is a tough one.

Now, the obvious answer is
that he wanted to blow me.

Sure.

I mean, Freud would say
that on some level

he wanted to blow me
whether he knows it or not.

I don't recall
Freud's position

on the Heywood Jablome
phony phone message.

But how would I know
if he's conscious

of wanting
to blow me or not?

That is the question.

It is and it is
an important one.

I don't know,
I guess I could

make some sort of
pass at him.

What do you think
I should do?

Are you still there?

- I don't want to do this anymore.
- What?

Us. This having sex
with other people.

You know, we said if one of us
was ever uncomfortable,

we could stop doing it.
I want us to stop doing it.

Uh, I don't
remember that rule.

- What's going on?
- Oh, Keith.

Why did this
happen to me?

What did I do to deserve
to have this happen to me?

- Nothing.
- Oh God.

Let it out.

I'm here.

You're gonna be okay.

I'm here.

Where are the kids?

Rico, I know
everything...

about this woman.

About how often
you call her,

about what
you bought her!

I've done
nothing wrong.

I know you're sleeping
with this person.

I'm not sleeping
with her!

I told you,
I'm just helping Sophia.

Oh my... God.

Oh my... oh my God.
I don't want this to be happening.

- But nothing is happening! Nothing is...
- Bullshit!

Bullshit! Bullshit!
I saw her!

I sat outside
that house!

I saw her face
when she opened

whatever the fuck
it is you left for her!

She loves you!

No, she doesn't.

Oh my God.

Oh my God.

You-you gotta get
the fuck out of here.

- No, no!
- Yes, you gotta go.

You gotta get the fuck
out of this house.

Please, Vanessa, just try
to understand this.

I do understand this.

I understand it a whole lot better
than you do.

Fuck. Shit!

Hey.

Edie, what are
you doing here?

Claire, I just...
I couldn't be away from you.

I have to
be with you.

I really need you.

You left your wallet
in my car.

Oh my God.
Thank you.

I thought I lost it
this morning.

You know maybe on
some unconscious level,

- you left it because...
- Okay. Fine, I give up.

Let's just
sleep together.

Now?

In a sec, I need
to brush my teeth.

Last night, it seemed like
this isn't what you want.

It isn't.

But come on, get undressed.
Let's go.

- I don't understand what's changed.
- Hold on.

Nothing has changed.

Part of me thinks
this is what I want

and part of me
thinks it isn't.

But...

what if the part of me
who thinks it isn't

feels that way
because I'm scared?

And after all,
I do owe you one.

All right,
you're on.

Go away, Rico.

Just let me talk to you for a few
minutes. Please just let me in.

- Why?
- Please.

Oh, I fell down!

Hey, you know what?

Maybe you
and me and Maile

will do something
fun this Saturday.

What do you think of that?
Oh, I fell down!

Huh? She has
two dogs.

You love doggies,
right? Hello!

Oh, man, I can't wait
till you start talking.

What the hell
are you doing?

I'm calling Maile.

I'm doing what you said.
Trying to start a relationship.

With that girl,
are you crazy?

That'll never turn
into anything serious.

But last night
you told me that...

I was desperate. I am so fucking scared
that you're gonna go back

to Brenda that I'll do
or say anything to stop it.

If you have a relationship
with Brenda, then I'll really be dead.

Brenda's just sleeping with me
because she really loves Joe.

That's what she does.

No, it's different
this time.

You love her
and she loves you.

And you should be with her
before it's too late.

This is giving me
a really bad feeling.

Uh-oh. If I were you,
I'd check that out.

It might be a tumor.

Ha ha.

Yeah, without
the silent E,

we couldn't have
found Kate.

# I'm a lonely little
petunia in an onion patch #

# An onion patch #

- # An onion patch... #
- # Mmm... #