Six Feet Under (2001–2005): Season 1, Episode 6 - The Room - full transcript

Original Air Date: July 8, 2001 Prelude

Six Feet Under
Season1. Episode 6. the. room.

Damn, this house is cold.

Shit, Hattie, it's like a goddamn ice box.

Well, no wonder!

Girl, are you crazy?

We live in the desert.
gets cold at night.

You plan on sleeping all day?

Plan on gettin' me some breakfast before nightfall!

Come on, bitch.

Get your lazy ass up.



Come on, this ain't the old folks' home.

Hattie?

Hattie?

Hattie!

"MILDRED 'HATTIE' EFFINGER JONES
ARY 7, 1922-MARCH 10, 2001"

I hate this client.

Every time she gets dumped by a guy, she gets a puppy.

So now

she's got like 15 dogs,

they're all male,

they're all huge,

and they sit there and watch with their tongues hanging out while
I work on her.

It's like being in some live sex show for Asian businessmen,

frat boys-



which I actually did for a while,

back in the 80s, make some money.

I got this great thing going with ping pong balls you'd really like.

I must show it to you sometime.

Hey, wouldn't it be funny if I got
some hedge clippers and cut off your dick?

What?

Do me a favor, OK?
Don't read that shit in front of me.

You gave it to me.
Yeah, come on, I'm late.

I'm at the part with the doll.

Why is your doll angry?
Because she got raped.

Really?

By who?

By you.

Brenda, do you know what "raped" means?

It means she was forced into sexual intercourse against her will.

It's so cool.
You were obviously doing it to scare him into leaving you alone, right?

What do you want from me?
I was 8.

Did it work?
No, it didn't work.

I just got a whole new level of scrutiny by
a whole different set of vultures,

only this time they were women.
I'm leaving. You still want a ride?

You alright?

Yes, I'm fine.

What are you doing today?

Um, well,

the cabinets.
I'm gonna try to organize the cabinets.

Good.

I'll be downstairs.

Alright.

Hey, Bobby!
Yeah?

Bring the Lincoln Town Car round front.

OK.

You're the other Fisher boy, huh?

The one from... where?
Oregon?

Seattle.

Right.
The health food thing.

Yup.
I remember your dad talked about you.

Sorry to hear about him, man.

He was a funny guy.

Yeah?

No, you don't pay.

Don't pay?

Yeah, your dad buried my brother a few years back.

It was in trade.

My father traded a funeral for oil changes?

Yeah, I guess so.

Bye, Mom,

have a good day.

So would you like us to take care of finding
you a cemetery plot, Mr. Jones?

Yeah, I don't wanna do that.

Would you like a double plot?

What for?

Well, one for your wife and one for you.

Next to each other.

Is this what you do all the time?
Sell people their own graves?

Well, yes, sir.
This is my job.

Don't try to pull that shit with me, boy.
I want a simple box. No frills.

You can't take advantage of me because I'm old.

I'll kick your ass!

Just a single plot, then.

No.

Double plot.

Shit.

Will you want Mrs. Jones prepared for viewing?

Yes, I want to see her, but
I don't want you messin' with her none.

I don't want you to cut her or

stick her

or pickle her like an egg.

If you want a viewing, I strongly would recommend-
That's my wife, boy,

I don't want you to touch her!

Mr. Jones, I can guarantee that you will not want to see her,
nor will anybody else, unless she's been embalmed.

I would beg you to consider what your wife would want.

She's dead, fool!
Don't matter what she wants!

Well, yes, sir, but-

after death, the body immediately begins to decompose
much quicker than you might think.

The skin begins to separate, there's quite an unpleasant odor.

Should you choose to forego embalming,
my recommendation would be cremation,

as soon as possible.

That's just the way it is, Mr. Jones.

I don't want to burn her up.
I want to see her.

Fine.

You do understand, however,
that that means she'll have to be embalmed.

I ain't payin' for that.

Sir, the cost is minimal-

I will waive the embalming fee, Mr. Jones, alright?

That was a good sermon, I thought.

Did you?

You didn't?
I didn't really listen to it.

Hello!

Hello!

Hello.
Hello, Mrs. Fisher,

I'm Tracy Blair, David's friend.

Tracy.

I keep asking him when we're gonna meet his fiancee.

Does she go to another church?

Yes.
What fiancee?

Tracy, I told you, Jennifer and I had broken it off years ago.

You did?

So there's no fiancee now?

Excuse us.

That's really a sore subject for us all.
Ow! You're hurting my arm.

Hiram!
How are you?

I'm fine, thank you.

Have you come to church?
I haven't seen you.

I wanted to give you some space.

Please don't sacrifice anything on my account.

A little late for that.

I miss you.
Can I see you?

No.

Ruth, haven't you punished yourself enough?

Shall we go?

Hi, I'm David Fisher.
Hiram Gunderson.

Nice to meet you-

You're the hairdresser.

It's nice to meet you, son.

Don't call me that.

David!

What?

I'll go get the car.

No, I'm coming with you.

It's good to see you.

You look well.

OK! I hear you!
Jesus!

Who are you?

I live here.
Who are you?

I want to see my wife.
Oh, I'm sorry.

We're not open yet.

Everyone who knows anything is gone.

I want to see my wife.
Look, sir, I'm sorry.

I don't deal with the dead people, so
you're just gonna have to come back when my brothers are home.

Bitch, I don't need your permission.

Sir, I'm sorry, you're just gonna have to come back later.

Ow, my foot!
What?

Help! Help!

There's a white girl trying to cripple an old black man!

Honestly...

Look, sir, you can't go in there!

Hello!

Hello, is anyone home?

Yes, in here!

Who's your friend?

Hell if I know!

His wife died, and he wanted to see her.

I guess she isn't ready yet.

He looked like he was about to keel over,
so I helped him sit down.

Then I had to listen to him bitch and moan about public transportation for fucking ever,

and then he just, like, passed out.

Now I can't get his fucking hand to let go!

Maybe he died.

Very funny. No,
he's still breathing.

And farting.

Can you help me pry his hand loose?

Sure.

Is Nate around?

I just bought this fabulous antique chest, weighs a ton.

I'm gonna need a hand getting it home.

No, I haven't seen him.

I can help you move it, though.

no, thanks.

So what? I'm no good because the whole cabinet thing is just foreplay for you to fuck my brother?

No. I'm just not into babysitting high school girls.

No offense.

Let go of me!

Goddamn!

What are you all trying to do?
Trying to steal my watch?

I oughtta call the goddamn cops!

Why? You're the one who's breaking and entering!

Look, we've gotta go move a chest.

Someone should be back soon to let you see your wife.

Hey, little girl.

What?

You ain't foolin' nobody.

Great. Thanks.
I'll work on that.

Look, I'll be like one minute to change, OK?

Are you gonna be OK here alone?

Everybody's alone.

You're born alone,
you die alone, goddamn it.

I'm sorry about your wife.

You didn't know her.

jessica Wilcox?

I'm Nate Fisher, Nathaniel's son.

I wondered why I hadn't heard from Nathaniel in quite a while.

I hate this.

I hate that I'll never see him again.

He was such a kook!

Kook?

Dad?
I don't think anybody made me laugh like that.

He had such a sense of humor.

So I hear.

He was really proud of you.

I'm Nate, not David.

I know who you are.

You're the one who took off.

Your father really respected you for that.

Said he wished he'd had the guts to do that when he was a kid.

Ms Wilcox, did you have some kind of arrangement with my father?

Arrangement?

In our ledgers, some of the funerals were marked differently, and your mother's was one.

Seems my father sometimes traded his services for payments other than cash.

Please don't take this the wrong way, but
can I see some kind of identification?

Driver?s license would do.

Uh-sure.

Libra, huh?

I would've taken you for a Capricorn.

You drink a lot of coffee up in Seattle?

Yeah.

Better be careful.

Give you kidney stones.

Oh, come on!

Surely you wouldn't begrudge your father such a minor indulgence!

My father never smoked pot.

Not in front of you, he didn't.

It's the finest organic.

Grown in San Francisco by my son.

Take it.

It's your father's monthly supply.

How is your mother doing with the grieving, David?

She is fine.

As far as I can tell.
You know her. She likes to suffer in silence.

That seems to be a family trait.

You know it's God's will for us to live our lives fully.

Breathing in the joy around us,
not just shouldering the pain.

God wants us to be happy.

I call them energy buns.

They're my own recipe.
Well, not really.

Adding the peppers was something I picked up on my honeymoon.
Have you ever been to Brazil?

no.
Oh my God, Brazilians are the most beautiful people alive.

They're like these fabulous mongrels who've incorporated all the very best attributes from ever race.

I mean, all that crossbreeding, hello!

I had a half-breed mutt who lived to be almost 20, and then I got this purebred, Corky,

and its hips disintegrated before it was even 2...

Here you go.

Fuck you, church freaks!

Well, enjoy.

Do you cook?

I hate cooking just for myself.

That's the worst part about being divorced.

That and the no regular sex thing.

Daivd, could I talk to you for a moment?

Alone.

Excuse us.

What do you want?

Ruth won't talk to me.
I'm worried about her. I was hoping that you could-

You were fucking my mother while my father was still alive, and now you want me to-

I understand if you're upset with me.
Understand this.

Whatever you have with my mother is between you and her,

but I have no interest in helping you.

Table for one?

Are you the owner?

Yes.

Did you know my father, Nathaniel Fisher?

This used to be our storeroom.

But when I finally got a loan from the bank, I put an extension onto the kitchen.

Your father buried my wife seven years ago.

I have very little money for the funeral.

He asked if he could have this room as his own, and that would be my settlement.

What did he do here?

I don't know.

Stay as long as you would like.

How often did he come here?

Well, sometimes we wouldn't see him for months.

Sometimes he was here everyday.

Mrs. Fisher!

Good afternoon, Nikolai!

I don't believe I've had the chance to thank you yet.

When Kroehner started pressuring everyone to cut us off,

most of our suppliers just abandoned Fisher & Sons.

You stuck with us.

Of course I stick with you!

Thank you.

These flowers are not gonna plant themselves.
Such delicate skin.

You have Russian color.

I do?

You don't like the beauty you have?

The front door is open.
You can leave the flowers inside.

OK.

OK,

that is where the chest is gonna have to stay.

God, that shit is heavy.

You wanted to help.

Oh my God, is this yours?

No, that's Nate's, but he keeps leaving it in my car.

I love this book!

You read it?

Oh, yeah, my friends and
re all over this like 2 summers ago,

before they turned into pretentious drama nerds and totally abandoned me.

Thank God.

What's your favorite part?

Oh, they're too numerous to mention.

Where is that part where she like stops speaking for a month and just barks at them?

Brenda...

Brenda, I know you're angry.

Can you talk to me?

You know, they put me in therapy 'cause

I stole that foot.

Yeah, Nate told me.

God, I would love to go into one of those sessions and just bark.

Just to see the look on his face.

Do you totally identify with this book?

Of course she does.

It's about her.

What?!?

She's Charlotte.

You're shitting me!

Is he for real?

Completely.

Oh my God!

Oh my God!
is like meeting Ghandi or Jesus!

Don't tell me.

The book spoke to you,

like it was written specifically for you.

Well, yeah, in a way.

Have you been to the website?

There's a website?

Oh, yes,

there's a fan club.

Yeah, those lonely little girls desperate for something to emulate,

because, apparently, they're not original enough to come up with anything on their own.

Well, that's what I like to see.
ing before sundown.

Hi, I'm Billy.

I'm Claire.

How do you know my sister?

Through my brother, Nate.

They're dating.

Oh, yeah. Dating.
what?

Going steady?

He give her his ID bracelet?

She carve his initials in her arm so they'd be there forever?

Yo, Bren,

you should've seen me out on the ocean.

All those Venice dicks, taking themselves so seriously!

You surf?

Me? do I look like I surf?

Do I? Uh oh.

You'll freeze your ass off this time of year, wearing that kind of thing.

So? It's my ass.

Oh, fine, you wanna get pneumonia again?
Go right ahead!

Claire, I should take you home.

I got stuff to do.
No, that's alright. I'll take her.

Great.

Oh, no. I've got time.
We just need to go right now.

Well, if you have got stuff to do, don't worry about it.

Yeah, do your stuff.

I just have to take a shower.

So, I'm walking along one day, and this asshole stops me and asks if I'm alright.

He says I got a look.

He'd seen a man with that same look once and had ignored it.

And that man had jumped out of a 9 story window.

You know the reconstruction involved in a death like that?

This business gets under your skin.
It's like a fucking virus.

They can even see it on your face.

Smell it on you.

What the hell is this place?
This music?

Since when do you listen to The Classics Four?

What the hell did you do here?
Who the hell are you?

So many questions.

Why couldn't you ask them when I was still ALIVE?!?

It's OK.
I couldn't answer most of them, anyway.

Unlike now.
Now, I'm a fucking prophet.

Right.

You think I'm kidding, buddy boy?

That's one of the perks of being dead.

You know what happens after you're dead,

and you know the meaning of life.

That seems fairly useless.

Yeah, I know.

Life is wasted on the living.

Could have told me you were proud of me.

You were never around for me to tell,

which is exactly what I was proud of you for.

Therein lies your catch-22.

So, what's the meaning of life?

Really wanna know?

I don't know.

Will it fuck me up if I do?

Oh, David, you make such a handsome deacon.

All those old stiffs.
Finally, a dose of viagra to the place!

Oh, I don't mean that literally.
Not like you'd need it.

Thank you, Tracy.

So,

no fiancee, huh?

No, no, that's over.

But she broke my heart, and I'm

just not ready or interested in any sort of relationship right now.

Oh, come on, any relationship?

I'm just not ready,

and I doubt I will be for quite some time.

Well, what if Cindy Crawford were to walk up to you and say,

"Just use me for sex"?

I would say no.

Liar.

Is it so wrong to want a little human contact?

You're lonely, too.

I can tell.

For Chrissake, Tracy,

what does it take? No.

Well, you don't have to be so mean about it.

Apparently I do.

Look, I come here to feed these people because I don't want to talk to anybody.

Do us both a favor.
Go to a bar.

Pick somebody up.

No, no, we just met.

I know.
I'm sorry.

I'm just so turned on by you.

Shut up.

I have to go home.
Hey,

I wanna see you again.

Good.

But I'm not some skank for you to fuck.

If that's what you're into, just go and find that somewhere else.
That's not what I'm into, Claire.

I swear.

If you're lying,

I swear to God, I will kill you.

I will kick your ass.

You do not want to mess with me.

That ain't her.

Excuse me?

That ain't my wife.
That ain't my Hattie

What'd you do with my Hattie?

Mr. Jones, with all due respect-
I don't want your respect.

I want my wife.

Sir, that is your wife.

You married?

Yes, sir.

Is she all young and pretty and knows how to treat you right?

Yes, sir.

You can't believe how lucky you are,
how life can be so good to you, right?

She gonna turn into that.

We all do.

Well, don't that piss you off, boy?

Not yet.

He used this how long?

Seven years.

It's weird how you keep showing me rooms people used to live in.

I just think it's so fucking weird.
He'd sit in this sad, little room doing God knows what.

Why does it have to be sad?

Look around.

I think it's fascinating.

Really, why?

Such a mystery, ya know?

You'll neverk now what went on here.
That's exactly what's driving me crazy.

So what if you did know,

had it all explained to you?
I bet it wouldn't be nearly as interesting or fun.

Your father would be a lot more boring.

Enjoy this!

Come on, don't you pick up on something?

I thought things left marks in people, in places, in time.

So, what, you think I'm a witch?

You really don't get any kind of vibe from this place at all?

You wanna know what I think?

I think your father wanted some place that
was just his and nobody else's.

Nate, if you didn't know him when he was alive, you never will.

I don't wanna be somebody who when I die nobody knows who I was.

So don't be.

How are you doing, Mr. Jones?

I'm sitting here, holding my dead wife's hand.
How do you think I'm doing?

you'll let me know if you need anything.

hello.

For Jones.

Oh, Mr. Jones, see the beautiful flowers for your wife's viewing tomorrow?

I don't know why you so excited.

They're just gonna grow up and die.

Well, thank you.

I'll see you out.

I don't know what you think you're doing,

but I'm going to have to ask my sons to order flowers from another florist if this behavior continues.

Which behavior?

This is our place of business.
There are grieving people here.

I can't have you skulking round with that look in your eye.

What look?

That sex look.

Maybe you like it.

Lady wear red, she means business.

This is just what was clean.

Lady, I can see you from here,
and I'm blind and deaf.

You need to get yourself laid.

Time warp!

I told you.

Pretty cozy for a morgue.

Must be weird living here.
You get used to it.

You ever done it with anyone in here?

Yeah, right. And have my mom walk in?
No.

you look great.
Shut up.

Come on, seduce me.

There ya go.

Oh, yeah, there ya go.

Don't pretend like you haven't done this before.
You are a natural! Look at you!

Look at you! No, no,
don't hide, don't hide!

This what you do?
You shoot models and stuff?

Hardly.

Alright, it's on timer.

Something to remember me by.

Hey, what do you think about Brenda and your brother?

Think they have a chance in hell?

I hope so.

She's pretty amazing.

He'd be a real idiot to let her go.
But again he's capable of being an idiot sometimes.

So what is she to him?
Just hot sex?

I think he's really in love with her.

How could he not be?
Shit,

I'm thirsty.

You got any beer?

No, sorry.
It's alright.

I should be heading out anyway.

Oh, OK.

I had fun today.

Me too.

Let's do this again.

OK.

OK,

Mr. Bosun is all juiced up.

I'll be in around 7 tomorrow to airbrush him.

Get him ready for the viewing tomorrow.

Unless, you know, you want me to do him now.

I was kind of hoping to get home before Vanessa put Julio down.

That's fine.

Good night.

Need any help?

No, Federico, go home to your family.

Don't work too hard.

Mr. Jones?

Time to go home.

Who the hell are you?

I'm Nate.

Work here.

That's my wife in that box.

I know.

I'm very sorry.
56 years I spent sleeping in the same bed with that woman.

56 years of listening to her talk about the same shit,
day in, day out.

It's late. Maybe I should drive you home.

Shut the fuck up, boy, and let an old man speak.

OK.

She chased me across the front yard with a steak knife once, tried to cut my ass.

Then we spent close to a year apart.

That time's like a hole in me now.

She was the only one who ever really knew me.

You know, your wife will always be with you in

your memories.
When you love somebody that much, they never really-

You sell that shit to somebody who's buyin' it cause I ain't.

You don't know nothin' about love.

Some pretty little thing catches your eye, and the next thing you know it's been 56 years

and you've shit all over yourself in the movie theatre,
and she the only one to help you clean it up.

That's love.

You don't know nothin'.

I won't argue that.

Can I get you anything to drink?
I have beer, red wine, a little vodka.

No, just water, thanks.

I don't usually go out on a school night, but you know how it is.

Yeah.

Here ya go.

My ex.

We were together for nearly 2 years and then he dumped me for a 22 year-old stand-in he met on location.

I think that's the only picture I had of him that I didn't tear up.

Funny, you know, you think you know somebody, and-

I hear he's in AA now.

So, are you in the business?

No, no, I'm a lawyer.

I'm from Boston.

God, how refreshing!

You tend to forget sometimes living in LA that there's this world outside the entertainment industry.

And that's the real world.

So what do you do?

Production accounting.
I told you that.

Oh, right. I'm sorry.

It's OK.

So, Jim,

what do you like to do?

Can we sit down?

Sure.

Had a little too much to drink there, Jim?

Are you OK?

Yeah.

I want to apologize for what happened yesterday.

It's OK.

I should never have lashed out at you like that.
It's just, I don't know what's wrong with me.

I was holding a saucepan the other day,

and, all of a sudden, I remembered making creamed corn in that pan.

Some night when it was raining outside, and

both the boys had colds,

and my husband was on a call,
picking up a body,

and then, yesterday, I was cleaning out the cabinets,

and I found a jar of baby food in the very back-strained carrots-from when Claire was a baby.

That jar had been sitting there for over 15 years.

I am surrounded by these relics of a life that no longer exists.

We're here for the Jones viewing.

Right this way, please.

Yeah?

Oh, shit, Billy, did I wake you?
I'm sorry. Fuck!

Who is this?

It's Claire.

Who?

It's Claire, Nate;s sister.

I just wanted to see if maybe you wanted to hang out again after school today.

Not really.

Come on, Claire, you're what?
16?

What do you think I am, a pedophile?

Well?

I don't know what you want me to say.

Well, I don't want you to say anything.
I just thought you should see it.

I've seen it.

So, great!
Dad traded a room for a funeral.

No wonder we never had any money.

Didn't Dad ever say anything to you about this place at all?
Dad and I never talked about anything but work.

That's exactly the relationship you and I have.

Nate, people are allowed to have private lives.
So what if Dad had a secret room? I don't care.

I don't care if he brought women back here to fuck.
I don't care if he brought men back here to fuck.

You think we should tell Mom about it?

Sure, why not?
You won't be happy until this whole family's in therapy.

That's kind of a leap.

Dave, look, I know you're pissed off about a lot of shit,
but I didn't make any of that shit happen. Oh, right,

I- I abandoned you.
Well, you know what?

I'm not your father.
I'm not the one whose responsibility it was not to abandon you.

So just get over it, please.
Life is just too fucking short.

Thank you, Nate.
I appreciate your honesty,

wrapped as it was in such a bouquet of condescension.

If I were you, I'd pack this place up before they start charging us for rent.

Quite a hottie, huh?

This is Mom?

You have no idea how beautiful she was, buddy boy.

I have no idea who you were.

I wasn't really that interesting.

No, I think you probably were.

I think you were this great guy who was funny and weird and... high.

I was just always so afraid of everything you did.

Death.

You know, I made the decision to come back home, to become a fucking undertaker,

because I thought it was something you believed in,
and now I find out you think running away was the best thing I ever did?

Maybe.

Jesus Christ, I kept us from selling to Kroehner,

and I'm taking the Funeral Director's License Test next month.

Well, maybe I was just covering up for how embarrassed I was when you left.

Is that why you left half the business to me?

To get back at me?
Maybe.

Maybe I just wanted to see if you had the balls to go against me.
Or maybe I really wanted you to have it.

You'll never know.

Goddamn it, when are you gonna stop fucking with me?

When are you gonna stop caring what I thought.

"I never knew my father!"

Get over it! Please!

Life is just too fucking short.

My brother is a very complicated man

and very high maintenance.
And, don't get me wrong, I love him dearly,

but I pity the woman he ends up with.

See, that's the same thing I'd say about my brother.

Nate is not even in the same league.

Was I crazy?

I mean, Billy was really acting like-

Did you fuck him?

No.

Well, you dodged a bullet there.

Is every man alive a total asshole?
At some point or another.

Then, again, so are we.

Come on, we've gotta go.

I still cannot get over the fact that you are Charlotte: Light & Dark!

Well, you have to, because it's very irritating.

Mr. Jones is still downstairs.
I know

this silver has been in your father's family for three generations.

I don't believe I've ever used it.

I'm going to put an ad in the paper and see if I can sell them.

Mom, I found something you should probably have.

Where'd you find these?

In the office, among Dad's things.

Look at what a child I was!

Your father was leaving for Vietnam.

He'd volunteered as a medic.

Your grandfather was furious!

You don't remember your grandfather, do you?

No.

He was a very unhappy man,

and he wanted everyone else to be unhappy, too.

We were all living in this house.

Well, you were a baby, and there was no privacy,

so Nathaniel and I got a room in a motel.

Some seedy place in the Valley.

And we made love like maniacs.

Like it was the last time.

Your father took these pictures,

in that damp little room.

Told me he kept them in his pocket in Vietnam

to protect him.

It's frightening how much we change.

Are you staying for dinner, dear?

Yeah.

Mr. Jones?

Probably should think about heading home.
You've got a long day ahead of you tomorrow. Funeral.

Mr. Jones?

Mr. Jones?

Mr. Jones?

Oh, shit.