Six Feet Under (2001–2005): Season 1, Episode 11 - The Trip - full transcript

Six Feet Under
Season1. Episode 11. The Trip

Dillon! Hey there, buddy!
What are you doing awake so late?

- Does he look okay to you?
- He's just fussing a little is all.

- He doesn't look a little funny?
- Of course he looks a little funny.

That's his daddy's nose.

He's just a little sleepy.

"The bear went over the mountain,
the bear went over the... "

That's my baby's smile!

Why don't you go back to bed?
I'll be in as soon as he falls asleep.

- Are you sure?
- Yeah. It's alright. Go back to sleep.

OK.



"DILLON MICHAEL COOPER
APRIL 29, 2001-MAY 17, 2001"

You're still here.

- hat? No breakfast?
- 've got to go to work.

You're a lot nicer on-line.

Yeah, well, people aren't always who they seem to be.

Tell me about it.

You need to leave. Now.

Whatever.

See you in the chatrooms-Jim.

Again! Again! Again!Hey!

Fuckin' bitch!

Morning, Mom.

Bren, Bren, if you're there, pick up!

- It's Billy! Pick up the phone, Brenda!
- Fuck you!



- Pick up the fucking phone! Please!
- Fuck you!

OK. Look, I need you, Bren. OK?
Things are not good.

I need you.

Brenda! God dammit!
Fuck! Bitch!

Lovely way to wake up, huh?

Brenda, you're gonna have to face him sometime.

Sometime, just not now.
Let's get major espressos, take a walk on the beach.

Can't. Gotta get ready for my trip.

What trip?
Vegas, baby, Vegas!

- Annual West States Funeral Conference.
- Is that today?

I thought that was months away.

No. Just me and David and 300
funeral directors cutting loose in the City of Sin.

Why would you do that to yourself?

Well, 1, we get to attend helpful seminars
where we learn new tricks of the trade.

2, we get to commiserate with all of the other
sad fucks who are being edged out by Kroehner.

3, we have the perfect opportunity to get in
Matt Gilardi's face and tell him we know

Kroehner burned down the house across the street.

Aah! The ongoing pissing contest!

It'll be good for you and David.
You'll have fun.

I don't know how much fun he's gonna have.

He's giving this big speech about the future of
the independant funeral home.

David doesn't strike me as the type of guy
who gives speeches.

My dad was scheduled to do it.
David volunteered to fill in.

It's kind of a big deal for him.
He's pretty nervous about it.

- Call me from Vegas.
- I will.

Unless I'm flailing about in a pool,
having sex with some showgirl.

I'll miss you!

Oh, fuck you!

I know this is an exceptionally difficult time for you,

- ut can you tell us what you had in mind for your son's-
- Uh-I'm sorry.

We're only here because the
hospital suggested we call you guys.

Um-we're not even sure what we're doing here.

He's a perfectly healthy baby.

- Can I ask what was the cause of-?
- SIDS.

Yes, well, if you need to take some time before we start
making arrangements, that's completely understandable.

- The arrangements?
- What arrangements?

- For his funeral.
- Funeral?

He was only three weeks old!

It might help if you think of it less as a funeral
and more as a way of saying goodbye to him.

I don't wanna say goodbye.
You know, he just barely got here.

Of course, it's difficult for anyone to come to terms
with something as unexpected as this, but-

It's not just difficult.
It's not even remotely possible.

Some babies are just too good for this world.

We'll fix things so you can spend
as much time with him as you need.

- How old is he?
- Uh-barely three weeks.

- SIDS?
- Yeah.

Oh, Jesus.

You should have been here for the intake.
The parents are practically children themselves.

They didn't even know they were supposed to have a funeral.

- Welcome back, Rico.
- Thanks, Nate.

- You're sure you're up to this?
- Yeah, yeah, it's no problem.

We'll only be gone till Sunday.

If you need anything, I can hop on a plane
and be back here in an hour and a half.

I'll be fine.

I have some of your t-shirts here.
They're still warm.

Mom-

Oh, don't let me stop you.

You know, I probably should take a couple
of those t-shirts with me to Las Vegas.

- David, I want to ask you something.
- I'm really kind of in a hurry here.

- I just wanted to know, are you-?
- Mom, can we talk about this when I get back from Las Vegas?

Yes, of course!
That's a lovely idea!

We'll talk about it when you get back from Las Vegas...

Mrs. Dimas, it's Claire Fisher.
I'm sorry to keep calling.

I was just wondering if you heard anything from Gabe yet.

What?

When? Oh my God!

Well, is he okay?!?

What hospital?

OK. Thank you, Mrs. Dimas, thank you.

- You are late. 10 minutes.
- I know. I'm sorry.

It's okay.

I just want you to know that I notice this kinds of things.

It won't happen again, Nikolai.

- e have to talk. It's about your work.
- said I was sorry for being late.

No, no, no, it has nothing to do with being late.

- Is about how you arrange the flowers.
- What?

- There have been complaints from some of the customers.
- There have not!

- I'm afraid so.
- Ruth, you are not so good at arranging.

- I am, too!
- No, you're not.

From now on, Robbie will handle arrangements,
and you will work the register and help with the books.

I don't want to help with the books!

I helped my husband with the books for over thirty years!
I want to do flower arrangements!

- Tell me what's wrong with my arrangements.
- Not all arrangements are for funerals, cupcake.

- You think my arrangements are funereal?
- It's like Robbie said.

There have been a few complaints from some customers.

We done talking now.

Robbie will do the arrangement.
You will work on the register.

Hey, are you gonna nail Gilardi for
that arson job in your speech?

- No.
- Well, why not?

- Well, let's think. Possible libel charges, maybe.
- Mind if I say something to him?

- Yes. Don't.
- Pussy.

Nate, do we have any evidence against him?
No. Apparently, the police don't either.

- Look, I don't want you picking a fight with Gilardi.
- Well, why not?

You basically threatened to kill him that one time!

- I'm coming with you!
- Great!

- Is it OK?
- Yeah.

- Oh. I need to get out of here.
- Alright!

- Oh my God, is that a penis?!?
- Rico!

I'm sorry. It is, isn't it?

Your wife doesn't want me to say.

- The baby's OK, right?
- The baby's fine, but you have mild to moderate preclampsia.

- What is preclampsia?
- $10 word for prenatal hypertension.

Your blood pressure's a little higher than we'd like.

Could cause you and the baby some problems
if it gets out of hand, but we're not gonna let that happen.

- What kind of problems?
- Let's not even go there.

This baby's fine.

Worst comes to worst,
we go in a little early, we do a c-section.

We'll take a look at your labs, and check your blood
pressure in a day or two and see how we're doing then.

Until then, I want you on strict bed rest.

- I really wouldn't worry about this.
- The baby is fine.

- Hey.
- Hey.

If you came looking to collect more money for
Anthony's funeral, I'm all tapped out at the moment.

This one shoots up too much speed and heroine,
now I'm stuck paying for this fancy-ass hotel room

to the tune of 400 bucks a pop while
they keep him under observation!

I'm going out for coffee and smokes.

Speed and heroine?

Yeah, well, I thought I'd try something different.

- Different like with a needle in your arm?
- Hey, what is this?

20 fucking questions?
I've been through this already, alright?!?

With the doctors, with the police, with my mom.
Now I've gotta put your mind at ease, too?

I'm sorry.

I would've been fine if you wouldn've just
minded your own fucking business.

Well, excuse me for giving a shit!

This wasn't an accident, was it?

I wish you would just fuckin' leave already.

Fine. Here.

"The Emerging Realm of Funeral Directorsand Mass Aviation Disasters. "

That sounds like fun.

You realize how many of these seminars
are sponsered by Kroehner?

Who's Jasmine Brecker?

She's either a federal judge or a sex surrogate.
I haven't decided yet.

- Have you got any matches?
- Sure.

- Thank you.
- OK, boys, let's mingle.

When in Rome...

I think maybe my expectations of this trip were a little high.

Oh, great, happy hour!

Well, well, the Fisher Brothers!
You know, I wondered if you'd even bother to show.

I understand you'll be speaking
tomorrow in place of your father.

What was your topic again?

- "The Future of Independant Funeral Homes. "
- Well, I'm certainly looking forward to that.

I'd invite you boys to the Kroehner party
over at the Luxor, but it's only for affiliates.

Oh, damn! Cause, you know,
we'd really like to be there.

I mean, I'm sure you corporate lackeys
really know how to party!

- Have fun with the other dinosaurs, boys!
- Oh, Matt, I have something for you.

This is a pack of matches.
This is for a can of lighter fluid.

Next time you need to unload some
cumbersome real estate, you'll be all set.

Nate, that was not smart.

Well, I should have set his fuckin' hair on fire!

Bottoms up!

I love Las Vegas!
It has to be the most artificial place on Earth!

- Oh, you think so? More than Disneyland?
- Oh, come on! More than Japan!

Ooh! Ooh!

Oh my God, what are all these little
cartoon explosions all over their butts?

- They look like they're farting!
- Yeah, look-coupons!

Hey, Dave, you wanna walk across the street with us,
get some of that famous Las Vegas 4.99 prime rib.

I have it on good authority it's just as good as
the 6.99 prime rib over there.

No, I think I'll just head up to my room,
order some room service, make an early night of it.

You sure?
Yeah, I should work on my speech, anyway.

OK, well, we'll see you in the morning.

- Don't do anything I wouldn't do!
- Yeah, not likely!

I have two words for you-Lap Dance!
Yeah, who says I want a lap dance?

- Who says it's for you, baby?!?
- Ooh, kinky!

I thought I told you to leave.
I drove all the way out here to Barstow!

If you think I'm gonna just turn around
and drive back, you're seriously whacked.

This is like totally bum fuck Egypt out here.

- You spent the night?
- Yeah, I slept in my car.

- My mom still here?
- No, she went out for more cigarettes.

- You say anything to her about-?
- No.

Are you gonna?

I haven't decided.

- You hungry?
- No.

I can't eat this hospital shit.
It all tastes the same.

Here.

Got you an Egg McMuffin 'cause I know they're you're favorite.

- How is it?
- Fuckin' cold.

But good.

Thanks.

In this class, we're gonna be working
on free-form summer arrangements.

And if we have any time at the end of class...

I'm not promising, because I want us to get to
our breathing exercises...

but if we have time, we might try
a spiky arrangement or two.

But first we're gonna start by doing
a little work treating our stems.

And we're gonna start by working with our woody stems,
because they can be a little on the tricky side

and require the most TLC-tough loving care.

OK. Let's start with andazalea, one of my favorites.

Starting an inch or two from the bottom of the stem...
and if it's a thick stem, we really have to smash them,

we split the stem vertically.

Does anyone know why we do this?

- Anyone?
- Yes?

- So it will draw more water.
- Very good. Did everyone hear that?

So it will draw more water.

OK. Does everyone have their hammers?
Let's begin.

- Hey.
- Hey.

You know you're supposed to be in bed.

I needed to get some turkey franks and milk for Julio.

Why didn't you call me?
I could've stopped home on my way from work.

He has a snack at 3:30.
So why didn't you call your sister?

She just got two days in a new Nicholas Cage movie!

She plays this hooker who witnesses a murder,
then gets raped and killed.

And she's got lines and everything!

And she wants me to come visit her on the set!
Well, you're supposed to be in bed.

I got bored and went to the market.
What's the big deal?

What are you doing home this time of day anyway?
I came home for lunch. I was worried.

Oh, Rico, please, I'm fine!

I'm not just worried about you!

OK, this is about the baby at work.

I- I-just can't do it.

Of course you can!

He looks-he looks like he's sleeping.
Like a baby who's fallen asleep.

He was 3 weeks old.
There was-there was nothing wrong with him.

And then... Just like that... He dies.

For no reason.

How can that be?

How can the beginning and
end be so damn close together?

And now, I've got this real bad feeling.

I haven't done a baby since Julio was born.

David always does them.

- So make David do this one.
- Nah, David's in Vegas until tomorrow.

The viewing is this afternoon.

Some babies just aren't meant for this world, Rico.

But this one is.

If you'll turn to page 7 in your notebooks,

we'll go step by step through the most challenging
cranial facial reconstruction I ever faced.

Um, if we could go to the next slide please.

- Now, the challenge as I see it...
- Oh my God!

Oh, Jesus!
That shit is fucked up!

Nate, this is Chloe Yorkin!

The job Federico left us to do for Kroehner.

Oh, God, that's like fuckin' science fiction!

The first question my team and I asked ourselves was not,
as it might have been at a facility with less resources,

- "Can we do this?" It was "How?"
- They don't even credit Rico by name!

Oh, man! He's gonna be furious!

Oh, God!
Well, that is a very generous offer, Roger,

but unfortunately I am in a relationship at the moment.
If I wasn't...

Deal me in.

- Jesus, Billy!
- Hold on.

- Hey, hey, so where's your boyfriend?
- What are you doing here?

I love Vegas. You know I love Vegas.

Sometimes, when my sister isn't there when I need her,

I hop in my car, start driving, and I'm here.

- Billy, you're lying!
- I'm really not, OK?

I just saw you at the blackjack table.

- It was a total coincidence.
- You're a fucking liar!

You're a selfish, manipulative, narcissitic liar!

- What did Mom and Dad tell you?
- Uh-they told me that you made a bomb.

That's fucking hilarious.

So, now I'm like, what?
A terrorist? Billy McVeigh?

They're fucking liars, Brenda!

They hate each other, and they're miserable,
and they're jealous of us,

and they want us to hate each
other too, so they lie to us!

No, they lied to me! You lied to me!
You let me believe that you tried to kill yourself!

- Do you know how fucked that is?
- OK, you know what?

I was so fuckin' drugged up,
I don't even really remember what happened.

Dad showed me what you wrote.

I was kidding, OK?

I wasn't serious.

Do you have any idea what I gave up for you?

Because I thought that if you tried
to kill yourself again and succeeded,

I could tell myself that I did everything
I could to save you.

And you did.

- You've saved me every day since then.
- Well, fuck you!

Brenda, don't fuckin-

OK, you heard her... Now fuck off!

Nice.

Are you okay?

He followed us here!

Well, I hate to say it, but I'm not entirely surprised.

Very nice!

Luscious!

- This is a little... tight.
- Tight?

- You're not breathing right.
- I'm not?

You're breathing from here,
when you should be breathing from here.

- But my lungs are here.
- Of course they are.

I'm speaking metaphorically.

If you breathe from up here,
your arrangements will come from up here.

If you breathe from down here,
your arrangements will come from down here.

- And that's good?
- That's very good!

- Do you do yoga?
- No.

OK, would everybody grab a yoga mat in the next room?

We're gonna do some breathing
exercises before we break for dinner.

- You're a bit of a control freak, aren't you?
- No, I'm not. I don't think I am. Am I?

Yes, and control freaks do not make good arrangers.

Believe me, I know.
I used to be a control freak, too.

But, you know what?
You can get over it.

All you have to do is learn to breathe.

- Are you on anti-depressants?
- No!

Well, Lord knows I'd be lost without my St. John's Wort!

There are countless challenges facing
independant funeral homes today:

changing social attitudes towards death and dying,
economic hardship in communities both large and small...

Oh, what the hell?

We all know what the real challenge is.

- How are you doing today, Mr. Gilardi?
- Fine, thank you.

Glad to hear it.

We all know of a certain organization that controls
the flow of prep room supplies, casket, cemetary property,

and flowers to everyone in this room, and believe me,
that organization will stoop to almost any means

to make sure that the independant funeral home
has no future. But hear me out.

My father was in this business for over 35 years,

and he-he thought it was okay to
tell people about a cheaper casket.

He didn't always try to talk people out of cremation.

There were even times when I actually heard him say,

"To hell with our profit margin on this!"

These words are heresy to a certain organization,
because profit is all it cares about,

no matter how many PR-motivated seminars it sponsers.

And that organization wants us independants to believe
that we cannot afford to be like my father anymore.

Well, I'm sorry, but that's bullshit!
Don't get me wrong.

My father worried about the bottom line, too,
but he worried more about other things,

like comforting people and helping them face profound loss.

Maybe now, maybe now more than ever,
we should all try to be a little more like him.

Thank you.

- How'd I do?
- Are you kidding?

You kicked some serious ass, you big freak!

You didn't come home last night.

It's not like it was a school night.

- Would you like me to make you something to eat?
- Yeah, that'd be great.

Do you think I'm a control freak?

Um-yeah.

- Where do you think David gets it from?
- Your father was very controlling.

- Not like you.
- That's not nice!

You asked...

You're not as bad as you used to be.

May I ask where you were all night?

In Barstow.

- What in God's name were you doing there?
- I was visiting a friend of mine who's in the hospital.

- Who?
- Gabriel Dimas.

- You mean the young man whose brother-?
- Yeah.

What was he doing in the hospital?

He ODed.

Good Lord!

Claire, he is obviously a deeply disturbed boy.

You need to steer clear of him.
Let his family deal with this.

Well, let's take stock for a minute. Shall we?

His little brother's dead.
His father's dead.

His stepfather beat him up.

His white trash mother,
who smokes like a fish, could give a shit.

And that leaves no one.

Was his overdose an accident?

- Of course it was an accident.
- Because sometimes these things aren't.

And if it wasn't, it could happen again.

- There's an 80% chance that someone-
- It wasn't a suicide attempt!

I hope, for his sake, you're right,
but if you're wrong, Claire,

I don't want you getting too close to him.

Look at him! He's a star!

I just want you guys to meet someone...

This is my brother and partner, Nathaniel, Jr.,
and his-Jasmine.

- How are you doing?
- I'm Neil Shaiger. Shaiger & Sons from Flagstand.

Raymond Dooley.
Dooley and Moss Funeral Home, Reno, Nevada.

Moss couldn't be here. Bladder cancer.

That was a hell of a speech David made.

Almost made me cry when those
Kroehner bastards got up and left!

Those fuckers have been trying to
buy us out for five goddamn years!

- Your father was a good man!
- Yes he was!

Y'all don't mind if we drag your
little brother out with us, do you?

I really shouldn't.

Oh, you're gonna let us
buy you a drink at least?!?

- You're our hero!
- Well, maybe just a quick one.

- Quick one, my Aunt Fanny!
- We're gonna make a night of it.

- Hey, you wanna go with?
- The more the merrier!

Oh, I don't think so.
We're just gonna lay low tonight.

Yeah, but you guys have fun.
OK, your loss.

Excuse me.

We'd just like to thank you. Very much.

- He looks so beautiful.
- I'm glad you're pleased.

Mike's mom and dad drove down from Selinas.
Yeah, they never got a chance to meet him.

- Now it's almost like they did.
- Do you have children?

Yes, yes I do.

I have a four year old boy, and-yes.

We'd like to be alone with
him for a little while, if that's okay.

Oh, absolutely, absolutely,
please take as much time as you need.

- Say "Formage!"
- Formage!

Hey.

You were really great today,
Nate, standing up to Billy.

I felt like some white-trash girl whose
boyfriend was the biggest bad-ass in town!

- Your brother's seriously ill, Brenda.
- Yeah, whatever, but you know what?

We're in faux Paree, so let's party!

- Hi. I'm Amber.
- David.

- You're a lucky guy, David.
- I am?

Very.

Your friends just bought you a lap dance with me.

Excuse me?

- So where you from, David?
- Uh, Boston!

That's the coldest place I've ever heard of!
What part of town you live in?

Downtown.

- Uh, are you not enjoying this at all?
- Yeah, I'm loving it. Why?

Because your dick isn't responding one bit.

Look, I'm gay. It's not you.

It never is me.

Well, if you're gay, you won't mind
if I cut this one short, do you?

What happened, buddy?
Pop your cork too soon?

He's gay, you idiot!

I wish you would've told us that.
Believe me, so do I.

Thanks for a lovely evening, fellas.

Great, great, I'll meet you out front. Thank you.

Well, hello, Brad!

Very nice!

- Jim?
- Brad?

Yeah.

You look different from the ad.

Well, that's from '91.
I've been meaning to update it.

I've just been, you know, busy.
You're almost 20 minutes late.

My previous appointment ran a little over.
What can I say? Brad's a busy boy!

How much-?

- You're not a cop, right?
- No, I'm not a cop.

- Because if you are, that's entrapment.
- I'm not a cop.

- You are kind of cute.
- Thank you.

Mm hmm.

200.

Get you a pony ride
all the way to the moon and back.

Up front. Now'd be a good time.

- All I've got is 80.
- Alright, fine, fine.

- Where do ya wanna go, Jimbo?
- I don't know.

- Where are you staying?
- I'm not taking you back to my room!

Don't wanna wake the wife, I get it.
Then, uh, where do you wanna do this?

Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah!
Oh, yeah, Jimbo! Give it to me!

- Yeah! Yeah!
- You like that, don't you, faggot?

Oh, yeah!

Okay, boys, party's over.

Alright, when you're done there, Sally,
you're allowed one phone call.

Your stuff.

- He's all yours.
- Thanks.

Thanks for coming.

I didn't know who else to call.

- Are you okay?
- Fine.

You didn't think you'd get caught
doing something this fucked up?

- I wasn't thinking.
- Clearly...

Were you using condoms?

I was drunk. I was very drunk.

You're lucky I had a couple of
connections with the Vegas PD.

All the charges are being dropped,
and your files are being tossed.

- Next time, you won't be this lucky.
- Thank you for doing this.

David, I did this because I love you.
But I won't ever do it again.

This shit isn't good for either one of us.

You need to get yourself some help.

Goodbye, David.

Hey, hey, what is it? What's wrong?

Something's not right with the baby.
Come on, let's go!

Hey, you!

Late night?

Not really.

Tried calling your room this morning.
You didn't seem to be in.

Uh-I must've been in the shower.

- Did you have fun with the guys?
- Uh-I suppose so.

From a purely anthropological standpoint.

- Do you mind driving?
- OK.

Thank you.
Let's get the hell out of here.

I think somebody got lucky last night!

Oh!
This is good, yeah!

- You have been practicing?
- Practicing?

- I am a graduate!
- Learning Annex!

Wow, I hear that
school's really hard to get into!

Robbie, go take care of customer!
Today, Ruth is going to do all the arrangement!

Nikolai, get your head out of your pants for two seconds!
That diploma means nothing!

It just means she's plunked down a couple of hundred dollars.

Have you got diploma from flower class?!?
I have been arranging professionally for almost 20 years.

Good. Today Ruth does arrangement!

Where's your mom?

She drove home today 'cause she had to go into work.

They say I may be getting out of here this afternoon, though.

What are you-?

I love you.

I love you, too.

There's an adorable shot of you!

I thought I only took 3 of you with that cowboy guy.
Oh, yeah. By the way, I slept with him.

Was that wrong?
Oh, man, you took one of me in the shower? Come on!

Well, you looked so cute, I had to.

What? Come on, it can't be that bad!

Oh, fuck! Oh, fuck, Billy!

Oh, shit!

OK, we're almost there. How are you doing, Mrs. Diaz?

Fine.

- Almost got him.
- Him?!?

Yeah, that's right. Hate to spoil the surprise,
but you've got another son.

It's a boy, baby, did you hear that?!?
I knew it was gonna be a boy!

Shut up!

Heart rate's dropping!
OK, let's get him out!

Here we go!

- Hey, where are they taking him?
- Just to heat him up a little.

Have you picked out a name yet?

Augusto, after my father.
Is there something wrong with my baby?

No, just warming him up.
Making sure his airways are clear.

Is he okay?
He's gonna be just fine!

Are you sure?
I'm positive.

Do you swear on a stack of bibles?

- Here, Augusto, time to meet the parents.
- Hello, Augusto!

He looks just like Julio!

He's so pissed off!Can I have him? OK.

Hey! Hey!