Sister, Sister (1994–1999): Season 6, Episode 17 - Double Talk - full transcript

- Ray:
- Hey, look at you. What are you

All dressed up for?

Oh, please, ray.

- I don't need a special reason
- to dress up.

Well, look who's here...

Mr. I-don't-need-

a-special-reason himself.

Hey, hey, ray.

Lisa.

So, uh, who's

your prickly pal?



Oh, I'm staying in a hotel

- while they're fumigating
- my new place

And the lovely lady

of the house

agreed to watch my plant

for me.

My, don't you look

delicious?

Tell me something

I don't know.

- I'll tell you something
- I know.

- No fraternity brother of mine
- stays in a hotel.

You can stay right here.

Here?



Well, no. I-I don't want

to impose.

- No imposition at all,
- is it, Lisa?

Well, um...

See? It's settled.

- You can move in
- tonight.

- Ma, ray, could you please
- tell tamera

She is too sick to do

her radio show tonight.

I am not sick.

Um, tamera, you can't

go to work sick.

You go to work sick.

I have to. I'm the boss.

- Tamera, if you don't
- mind me saying

- You can't go to work
- sounding like that.

I mean, your fans expect

perfection, not infection.

So you won't be

staying home for you.

You'd be

staying home for them.

- Oh... I guess you're right,
- Victor.

Didn't I just say that?

Yeah, but you're

her father.

She has to ignore you.

But who's going to fill in

for me?

Me! Hey, tamera,

I've heard

- every one
- of your shows.

( Imitating

( tamera ):

Okay?

Sounds just like you.

I don't know.

What's the matter, huh?

What, you don't trust me?

Of course I trust you.

Get over to that radio

station and represent.

Yes! This is going to be

so exciting!

Isn't it, though?

Follow her.

You know it.

♪ I do my own style

in my own time ♪

♪ how different

we have come to be ♪

♪ even though I'm glad

to be with you ♪

- ♪ I got to feel
- what's real for me ♪

♪ Like you got to do

what's right for you ♪

- Lisa:
- Hi, sweetie. I brought you

Some chicken soup.

Thanks.

Could you turn on

the radio?

Tia:

Welcome to "pillow chat."

Lady t.'S under the weather,

so filling in for her tonight

will be me, sister t.

Okay?

"Sister t."

Now that's cute.

And you're on the air

with sister t.

Hello, sister t.?

This is Larry.

- My girlfriend's birthday
- is this weekend

But I'm about

to break up with her.

What I want to know is,

should I buy her a gift anyway?

Sister t.?

Are you there?

Come on, sister t.

Say something, Tia.

I'm going to be sick.

Duh...

Uh...

Uh, Larry, you still there?

Yes.

Well, uh...

Sister t. Had to break.

You're on with...

The madd hatter!

Larry:

So, madd hatter

do I buy her a gift or not?

Tell me, Larry...

How's your cash flow?

It's slow dough. Slow.

Mmm-mmm-mmm.

- Don't waste your money
- on a dead relationship.

- Save what few Benjamins you have
- for your next honey.

Believe me

it's a lot easier

to attract a new babe

with a little cash

in your pocket.

Oh... you're ruining my show

with that male gibberish!

Tamera, calm down, honey.

Oh! Oh, you need

the vaporizer.

- Fellas, listen to
- the madd hatter.

There's

ten of them to three of us

- so who's got the upper hand?
- Do you hear me?

Oh, I hear you.

I think "pillow chat's"

about to become a pillow fight!

You're on the air

with the madd hatter.

What's the dealie-yo?

Madd hatter, this is Linda.

I love skiing, but my new

boyfriend won't take me

because he thinks I look

too fat in ski gear.

Don't you think

he's wrong for that?

Be real with me, Linda.

How much do you weigh?

Well...

Well, I'm not, like, enormous.

Well, are you, like, pudgy?

Maybe.

Then maybe he's trying

to save you some embarrassment

so do him and yourself a favor.

Back away from the buffalo wings

and head straight for the gym.

- Do you
- hear me?

Tamera!

Feeling better?

Guess not.

If he really loves me,

my size shouldn't matter.

It matters when you

tumble down the slope

and take out the lodge.

I know if I was...

Sounds to me

like your boyfriend

is using you as an excuse

because he can't cut it on skis.

Okay?

Lady t., is that you?

You know it, girl.

I thought you were sick.

- Yeah, sick and tired
- of hearing my callers abused.

- Look, callers,
- I have to apologize

- For my insensitive
- boyfriend.

- Honey, you know you never
- ask a woman how much she weighs.

- The madd hatter was just
- trying to keep it real.

Yeah, real rude.

Let's flip

the script, okay?

Would you still

go out with lady t.

If she gained 50 pounds?

Of course I would.

Right answer.

Ha! Come on, you're

just saying that

'cause I haven't

gained 50 pounds.

- But you have gained
- about five

- And I'm not
- trippin'.

Wrong answer.

Guess who's coming to dinner?

Oh! Ooh, ooh, Victor,

I didn't expect you this early.

You know, Lisa, we only

been going out a few months

- and I'm already
- moving in.

Yeah, I've gone from

girlfriend to innkeeper.

A-phi!

- Hey, frat,
- I brought my bags.

- Not too late
- to change your mind.

Are you kidding me?

It's good to have another

man around the house.

Ray, we can't possibly

ask Victor to stay

- in that dingy old
- guest bedroom.

- He'd be much more comfortable
- in a nice hotel.

Lisa's right.

You can't sleep on

that old pullout sofa.

- You can stay in
- tamera's room upstairs.

- She's got
- a queen-size bed.

Tamera's old room next to mine?

Victor doesn't want

to carry all that luggage

up all those stairs.

No, no, it's no problem.

Ray'll help.

- Last one
- upstair's

An old man!

Heisman!

Girl, you've got to

give him an ultimatum.

It's either commitment,

or find somebody new.

Yeah. Why share

your man

when you can have

no man at all?

Okay, listeners

lady t. Thinks it's

time to play a jam

so here it is.

You know what?

I cannot believe you!

You can't believe me?

- I do you a favor,
- you come down acting all crazy

And you can't believe me?

Where are you going?

- Lady t., this is
- your little world

- And I will never
- enter it again

- No matter how much phlegm
- you're coughing up.

Fine!

- Where you
- going, champ?

Home.

No, you can't do that.

- Both:
- Why not?

- Ever since you two
- went venus/mars

- The phones have been
- hot, hot, hot!

- Too bad, because he's
- got to go, go, go.

Ya-ya-ya-ya.

All right, slow

down, lady t.

This is my...

- I mean, your chance
- to get on the map.

- This partnership could
- go national, baby.

We are not a team.

Let me put it this way:

No team, no talk.

Okay?

Hey, good morning, ray.

Can I interest you in

some bacon and eggs,

pancakes, grits?

- Ah, Victor,
- you shouldn't have...

But I'm glad you did.

I'll take a short stack.

Morning, Tia.

Can I interest you in

some bacon and eggs,

pancakes, grits?

No, thanks.

I'm still recovering

from last night.

- The whole campus
- heard me hurl.

It was so embarrassing.

Oh, don't worry, Tia.

Come here.

Thanks, ray.

- Once Jordan took over,
- no one even knew you were there.

Oh, thanks, ray.

What did I say?

I don't know.

Hi, dad.

Good morning, honey.

You know, I really did

like your show last night.

- You and Jordan work
- so well together.

- So, I guess you didn't
- like the show

- When I did it
- alone, huh?

No, I mean, I liked it.

I just really liked it

last night.

Thanks for the support, dad.

What did I say?

I don't know.

Breakfast is served,

madame.

Is it now?

Mm-hmm.

What's your pleasure?

Bacon, eggs, pancakes, grits?

- Are those eggs from
- our refrigerator?

Yeah. Why?

- Nothing, nothing. I just needed
- them to bake with.

- You've got to break a few eggs
- to make an omelet.

You have to dirty up every pot

and pan in the house as well.

- Oh, yeah, I was just
- about to get that.

Yeah, whatever.

I'm going to go buy

some more eggs...

And some brillo pads.

What did I say?

The only woman I understand

is Mrs. Butterworth.

Man:

So every single weekend, she

goes home to visit her family

and I'm left on campus

hanging by myself.

Well, Mike, that solution

is very simple.

Just get to know her family

and go home with her.

Forget that, dog.

Get yourself

a weekend woman.

You mean to tell me,

you want him to cheat

while this sweet girl

visits her family?

Every weekend?

Shoot, she's going

back for a lot more

- than mama's
- banana pudding.

I'll bet hometown

Henry's on the creep.

Good looking out.

Which one of us?

Both of y'all.

- I think I'll just go home
- with my girlfriend this weekend.

- It's time for hometown Henry
- to get a beat down.

Right.

Okay, well, we only have

a few minutes of "pillow chat."

I am lady t.

And I'm the madd hatter.

- But before we take
- our last call

I'd like to give some

shout outs to my peoples.

- My boys tyreke,
- Jamal, my pops

- Michael Jordan,
- Halle Berry...

- Halle Berry?
- Keep dreaming.

Don't player hate.

Sammy sosa, Chris Tucker

- and of course, my number one
- peeps, you the fans.

That's right, because

without your support

there'd be no madd hatter...

- Just a mad brother
- with a hat on.

- Yeah, but there'd still be
- a lady t. With a mic on.

You are on the air.

- Woman:
- Hi. This is gena in Lansing.

Free your mind, gena.

Well, I'm a freshman

but my boyfriend is still

in high school.

Now, should I wait for him

to graduate or dump him?

- Wait for him.
- Dump him.

Face it, gena

he's a boy.

You're in college.

You need a man...

Someone who's mature

and intelligent

someone who can buy you

fries and a shake, okay?

For real, girl.

I hear you, lady t.

Now hear the madd hatter.

- If your tenderoni
- makes you happy

- You should appreciate
- him for what he is

Not what he can supersize.

- Bounce that rugrat
- and don't look back.

- We are out of time
- and I am lady t.

And i'm...

Crazy!

Have a good week.

Hey, hey, tonight's show

was fantastic.

The more you argue,

the more the phones light up.

See you here

again tomorrow night.

- Great.
- Great.

Ooh, girl.

Victor:

Yeah, right.

Hey, Tia.

- Hey, ray,
- Victor.

So, who's the new

racquetball champ, huh?

As I like to say,

to the Victor goes the spoils.

Drinks on you.

Okay, frat.

- But don't get
- used to this

Just because

you had one lucky day.

- Tia:
- That was good.

Hey, mom.

Something wrong?

No, uh-uh.

Make yourself at home.

- Let me get my bag
- out of the way...

No, let me. Let me.

I'll do that.

You are the guest.

- I certainly
- wouldn't think

Of having you clean up

after yourself.

- If you need it, it's in there
- next to your cactus.

Thank you.

I think I better go

wash up for dinner.

Dinner?

You talk like I should already

have something on the table.

Don't think we're playing

house up in here.

Well, actually,

I've made reservations

for all of us tonight

at maxfield's

to thank you for

your hospitality.

Oh.

You're welcome.

Uh... mom?

You've been dying

to go to maxfield's.

I know!

Won't it be fun?

Wait a minute.

- Why didn't you act like it
- when Victor just told you?

I'm keeping him in check, girl.

Can't let a man

get too comfortable.

They start taking advantage.

Taking advantage?

Mom, he's cooked for us, okay?

He's fixed the washers

and cleaned the gutters

and now he's taking us

- to one of the finest restaurants
- in Detroit.

I hope he never leaves.

Oh, that's the problem, honey.

I feel the same way.

Okay, now I'm really lost.

Tia, Victor is...

Oh, he's fantastic.

He's the kind of man that

I thought I'd never, ever find.

And here he is,

living right under my roof.

Then why are you treating him

like toxic waste?

Tia, see, honey, relationships,

they can be tricky, you know?

I mean, if things go

right too fast

they go wrong even faster.

I don't really want it

to end.

But if it does, I want it to end

before I get in too deep.

But haven't you

always told me

life's about

taking chances?

When did you start

listening to me?

Mom, give yourself

a chance.

Let him know

how you feel.

As you said yourself

you've got to respect

the power of love.

That wasn't me, honey.

That was Luther vandross.

Permission to enter.

Permission granted.

You're just in time

for your...

Where are you going?

Motel 6.

- They're leaving the light on
- for me.

Well, I baked

your favorite cake.

I went out, I bought eggs

and everything.

Grade triple a fresh.

Maybe I'll have a piece...

To go.

Oh, why are you going?

Lisa, you have been

pushing me out

ever since I got here.

Oh, Victor...

- Look, I've
- got to go.

I'll talk to you later.

But before I do,

let me say this...

Being with you has made me happy

- that I've been
- a bachelor all these years.

Well, living with me

wasn't all that bad.

You did get some free food.

No, no, what

I mean is that...

Is that I'm glad I waited

for the right woman.

- See, I always thought
- that people

- Who talked about searching
- for their soul mates

- Were just looking for an excuse
- not to settle down.

And then I met you.

Now, all I

think about

is settling down.

You know, I hear your voice

and my heart starts beating.

You look at me

and I melt.

I look into your eyes and I...

I get weak.

I guess what i'm...

Look, what I'm trying

to say is that I...

I love you.

Oh, what the hell, Victor.

I love you, too.

Hey.

Hey.

What's up?

Oh, nothing.

Just waiting for

the song to end

so we can do

this fun show.

I wish you would have

come with me

to the library last night.

Why? Do you miss me

copying your notes?

No, I miss you.

I miss you, too.

Gosh, we really never talked

since we yelled at each other

on the radio yesterday.

Look, I don't want the show

to come between us.

It doesn't have to.

- All we have to do
- is stop arguing.

- I can't argue
- with that.

Do you know what?

I think it's about time

that we start showing

a little love up in here.

Okay, sweetie.

Well, let's do this.

Let's do it.

You're on the air

with lady t.

And the madd hatter.

Speak to us.

- Woman:
- This is melody.

First of all, I just want to say

- how much I love your show,
- lady t.

Oh, thanks.

- But you have to give
- my honey his props.

Big ups to the madd hatter.

Now that's more like it.

- What can we do
- for you, melody?

Well, my boyfriend has his

little female fan club

but won't let me have

any male friends.

- Now am I wrong in thinking
- he's not right?

- Honey, you want
- to take this one?

- Oh, no, this is
- lady t.'S world.

I'm just living in it.

First, I just have

to take a moment

- to say that i'm
- so lucky to share

The mic with this man.

- No, no, no, no.
- I'm the lucky one.

And I'm waiting for my answer.

- Tamera:
- Oh, well, melody

I say tell your boyfriend

to drop the insecurity

and embrace trust.

Ooh, now I know the madd hatter

is about to go off.

No. Actually, I couldn't

have said it better myself.

You could at least try.

For those of you

just joining us

this is the all new

and improved "pillow chat"

where Harmony, cooperation

and love reign supreme.

Isn't that right, baby?

You know it, boo-boo.

Okay, let's take

some more callers.

- Okay, let's try
- line two.

Line two.

Hello. Anybody there?

- Man:
- Yeah, I'm here.

Greetings and

a big old radio hug.

You guys make me sick!

Well, all righty then.

Let's go to a song.

What's going on in here?

We decided that

if we're going to do

the show together

- we're going to do it
- without fighting.

- Then we have
- a problem

Because no one wants

to listen to the happy

non-fighting couple show.

Excuse me?

Let me put it

in layman's terms...

No fighting, no show.

- No show.
- No show.

Okay, wait, wait, wait.

That was just

show biz talk.

No show means

let's compromise.

Okay, here's the compromise.

The madd hatter hangs up his

hat, lady t. Gets her show back

and I get my girl back.

It works for me.

Lady t., you're on in 15.

Do your thing, lady t.

Thanks, baby.

- Man:
- Hello?

Hello?!

Madd hatter? Lady t.?

Sister t.?

Mr. T.?

What the...?

Is anybody there?!

Can I interest you

in some pancakes...

I mean some eggs,

bacon, pancakes...

- I left something
- upstairs.

Okay, good.

- You mean, you want
- him to cheat

While this girl visits

her sweet family...

I mean, no.

While this sweet girl

visits her family?

Let me say this...

I am so happy

that I...

Messed up this line

like this

and I have

totally forgot.