Sister, Sister (1994–1999): Season 6, Episode 13 - Two Guys, a Girl and a Calendar - full transcript

Michigan is hosting a photo calendar contest for the guys so whoever wins will be published in the calendar. With Tia pushing Tyreke, and Tamera pushing Jordan, will things get out of control? Will this contest end valuable friendships?

Oh!

Jeez... oh.

Hey, tyreke,

I am so glad you showed up.

- C-C-Can you help us
- with these boxes, please?

- 'Cause, you know,
- my back, oh, jeez.

- Why, sure. Yeah,
- I got you. Come on.

Oh, it's heavy.

Oh. Whoo.

- Now, you see, ladies,
- it's all about technique.

- Just got to lift
- with your knees.



Oh, hello.

- I think these biceps
- have a little something

- To do with it, too,
- you know.

What?

Oh, well, um, diavian,

she was just telling me

- that all the
- girls are saying

You should try out

for the calendar.

What calendar?

Oh! Um, let's see.

This calendar...

"the men of Michigan"...

The 12 finest-looking men



on campus.

- Yep, they're holding one spot
- for a freshman

- And you could be
- that fresh man.

Uh-uh, not me.

This is just not my flavor.

You can win a trip for two

to Hawaii for the pro bowl.

The pro bowl?

Now, that's my flavor

- but I don't know anything
- about modeling.

Well, hey...

I could school you.

Oh, how can

you say no?

- Hold on,
- wait a minute.

- Now, what do you two get
- out of this?

Nothing.

I'm just helping diavian.

Diavian?

Come on.

- Oh, all right,
- the committee member

Who signs up the most guys

wins her own trip to Hawaii.

- Why didn't y'all
- say so?

I'll help a sister out.

- Thank you, - thank you,
- Thank you.

You're the man.

- I'm going
- to Hawaii.

"The men of Michigan."

- You're just
- too much.

Hey.

There's Steve.

Oh, Steve...

I am so glad

you showed up.

Yeah.

Here.

Jeez.

♪ I do my own style

in my own time ♪

♪ how different

we have come to be ♪

♪ even though I'm glad

to be with you ♪

- ♪ I got to feel
- what's real for me ♪

♪ Like you got to do

what's right for you ♪

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- Lisa:
- So, you girls ready to go?

- There are only four hours left
- in that 12-hour sale.

Well, I'm not worried.

Yesterday, I hid

- some cute dresses
- in men's suits.

Amateur.

I bought my stuff last week.

I'm returning it today

- and buying it back
- at the sale price, okay?

- Well, my items were set aside
- last month.

I used to date the manager.

Oh, figures.

- Oh, good afternoon,
- ladies.

- Hey, ray.
- Hi, ray.

How you doing, ray?

- Lisa, have you seen
- my invitation?

I put it on your desk.

- Oh, good. Did you stitch up
- that tear in my tux?

Yesterday.

- Next time you go
- to a wedding

- Let the young guys fight
- for the garter.

I was this close.

Oh, oh, did you get

my tux shirt pressed?

Yes, ray.

- Ray:
- Great. Thanks a lot.

Good-bye, ladies.

Bye-bye.

- Whoo! Come on, girls,
- let's go.

What?

Look at her, Monica.

- She's so used to
- being a doormat

She doesn't even know

when she's being walked on.

What are you talking about?

- Ray... he was
- just ordering you around

Like you were his maid.

- Yeah, he did everything
- but call you "beulah."

Mm-hmm.

Now, look, ladies,

no man tells me what to do.

- Ray:
- Lisa?

- Lisa,
- one more thing...

I promised the girls

I would cook dinner tonight

- but I forgot
- about my fund-raiser.

Would you please...?

Oh, sure, ray.

Uh-huh.

Now I know why no man

tells you what to do.

You too busy

taking orders from ray.

He said, "please."

- Hey, guys,
- what's up?

- Oh, um, tyreke
- is signing up

- For the "men of Michigan"
- calendar.

- Really?
- That's right.

Doing that pinup

thing, Tyson?

He's stupid.

That's not funny, man.

The winner gets

two pro bowl tickets.

- Pro bowl? You're taking
- your best dog, right?

- I got to get picked first,
- all right?

- So far, I can't even get
- past the form.

Well, no problem.

Let me handle this.

- Jordan f. Bennett...
- The "f" stands for forms.

- Let's check this out
- over some fries.

I'll be right back.

- Tia:
- He is a shoo-in

- For the calendar
- and doesn't even know it.

We had to twist his arm

to get him to sign up.

I know. I mean...

So, why didn't you guys

ask Jordan?

- Oh, so, um... you're saying
- my baby doesn't have

- What it takes
- to be in the calendar?

No, no, no, tamera,

don't get me wrong, okay?

- Um, Jordan's
- adorable and all

But-but he's got more of,

um... brains than a body.

- We-we all have
- different gifts.

E-Excuse me...

But, um, Jordan has a body

only he isn't flexing

every chance he gets

like some people who

will remain nameless.

Tyreke. Oops, did I

say that out loud?

Whatever, tamera.

I'm going to go ask him.

Oh, no.

Yes, I'm gone.

- That girl is
- wasting her time.

- There is no way
- he'll agree to...

Look at sister.

- Tia:
- Shoot...

Jordan's too smart to fall

for that eyelash thing.

- Oldest trick
- in the book.

Where do I sign?

- Lisa:
- Whoo!

Hey, ray.

Oh. Hi, Lisa.

How'd the fitting go?

Long.

Whoa.

Mrs. Ford wanted

a handmade dress

at a hand-me-down price.

There's only one thing worse

than rich people...

Cheap rich people.

You're still talking

about Mrs. Ford, right?

You're safe for now, ray.

There you go.

Just sit back and relax.

Ooh, I don't mind if I do.

Ooh, ray, could you put on

some water for tea?

Sure. After I finish this.

Oh. Oh, never mind.

I'll get it.

Yeah, while you're up,

would you get me a cup?

Sugar and no milk?

Sure, ray.

Yeah, and a couple

- of those
- snicker doodles.

Anything else?

- Well, now that
- you mention it

I'd love to have a sandwich.

Well, get it yourself!

A-Are you all right?

No, I'm not...

And-and I'm not

your doormat, either.

So, you can just quit

walking all over me.

I don't walk all over you.

- Well, not anymore
- you don't.

- It's a new day,
- ray Campbell.

I am not Florence,

I'm not Alice

and I'm not

"the nanny named Fran."

So, from now on,

you need to be

Charles in charge

of your own business.

Well, that's it.

I'm putting a block

on that Nick at nite.

What's up?

Do your thang, Steve.

Thank you, Steve.

Your next contestant

is Tony Dixon.

Ho.

Go! Go.

- Get up and show 'em
- you're calendar material.

But don't get up there

- and run off
- with your mouth.

Word.

Tony, uh, describe yourself

in one word.

Uh...

That's a tough one.

See, I can't really

describe myself in one word

- because I've got
- so many levels.

Wow, that brother got

some verbal skills.

He might have a chance.

- It sounds like you
- want him to win.

- This is a contest,
- not a support group.

You want him to lose.

- Okay? There is
- only one freshman slot

And it's for you.

Aw, quit dreaming, Tia.

- You know it's
- all about Jordan.

- Tia:
- What?

Girl, you're the one

that needs to wake up

- because it's
- tyreke's world, okay?

Tyreke's world?

- Ladies, ladies, ladies,
- ladies, please.

- You see, that's
- the difference

- Between men
- and women.

- We don't care
- about who wins.

- We're just here
- to have fun.

I know that's right.

- Why don't y'all
- go cool off, okay?

Because you're tripping

- and it's starting
- to disturb our vibe.

Your vibe?

Mm-hmm.

Fine.

- Just roll.
- Just roll.

Which concludes the many

levels of Tony Dixon.

You sure you're finished?

Uh...

Word.

All right.

- Our next
- "man of Michigan" hopeful is

Jordan Bennett.

- Go, "j."
- Go, "j."

- Tyreke:
- Represent.

Mr. Bennett, uh

- why should you represent
- the freshman class

In the next calendar?

Because I have the spirit

the drive, and the g.P.A.

To lead our class

into the 21st century

and if I win

I promise to tell everybody

on the beaches of Hawaii

to go to Michigan.

Wolverines on the beach!

Yeah!

See?

My baby knows

how to improvise, okay?

Tyreke Scott.

- Tia:
- Whoo! Yeah!

Show 'em what you got.

Show 'em what you got.

Yes. Yes.

Okay, uh,

you're a campus escort.

What can we expect from you

- if you become
- a "man of Michigan"?

Uh, it's peace of mind.

Yeah, every lady at Michigan

can feel safe and secure

in knowing that my flashlight

is always on.

I peeped him on

the flashlight part.

Our next contestant

is Jason Phillips.

- Well, I am glad to see
- that you two have calmed down.

- Me, too,
- because all that tension

Just wasn't helping.

And you know what?

You guys are right, okay?

- This is all about fun
- and you both did a great job.

- Yeah, and you both
- deserve to win.

It's all you.

It's all you.

Diavian:

Attention, everyone.

Hey, okay, the judges

have made their decisions.

The freshman finalists

for the "men of Michigan" are...

Dash Hawkins...

- You the - man, dash.
- I told you, dash.

Tony Dixon...

You the man, Tony.

Tyreke Scott...

You the man!

- Yes, whoo,
- I knew it!

Marc solakian...

You're the man, Marc.

And Jordan Bennett.

I'm the man!

I'm the man!

Yes, yes, yes!

Ladies and gentlemen,

the freshman finalists

for the "men of Michigan."

Give it up!

- Man, these guys don't
- stand a chance...

I know that's right.

- 'Cause I'm going to knock
- this out of the box.

What about me?

Yeah, right.

- Ha-ha,
- you going down, "j."

- No, you didn't,
- buddy.

And you said my baby

wasn't calendar material.

- I'm about to be chillin'
- in waikiki.

You going to be

chillin', all right...

In the Michigan winter.

Tyreke's got this

thing sewn up.

Girl, please, we about to crank

this competition up a notch.

Okay.

Well... may

the best man win.

- Oh, uh, uh,
- don't worry.

Jordan will.

Diavian

it's so good

to see you.

Candy?

Di, have I told you

how much I love

your sweater?

Goes with the eyes.

Yes, yes.

- Oh, could you be
- more obvious?

I mean, how stupid

do you think I am?

Let me rephrase that.

Now, I'm not giving you

any information

you don't already know.

- From this moment on,
- you getting in that calendar

Is between you and the camera.

- The judges
- are making their decision

- On how good you look
- in the photos.

Thanks for nothing.

Jordan, grab the candy.

Grab it all. Get it.

Back up.

Jordan, I see Tamara

has you looking

- like you stole
- your big brother's clothes.

- Well, it must all
- be in the family

- 'cause you look
- like you got on

Your little

brother's shirt.

And what's up with

the "lord of the dance" pants?

At least they fit.

Tia, that is so tired.

Let's go, Jordan.

Looking tacky

might be contagious.

You should know.

Did you see tyreke?

We got a lot

of work to do.

Jordan looked great.

- We got a lot
- of work to do.

Lisa, have you made

some changes in here?

Yeah, I've made

some changes in here

and... up here.

All right, now.

Last night ray came in the

kitchen looking for a hot meal.

All he got was a cold shoulder.

- Well, work
- the shoulder, sister

- And if the shoulder doesn't
- work, throw up the hand.

Good afternoon,

ladies, I...

Well. Well...

I like it, Lisa.

Well, good.

Well, don't let me interrupt.

I'm off to run some errands.

Good.

- Well,
- while you're out, though

Um... I'd like you

to pick me up a few things.

I'd like a spool

of yellow thread,

my dry cleaning

TV guide and some dental floss.

Oh, and some funyons.

Huh. Okay.

You got a problem with that?

No, I said okay.

Okay, then.

Well, I'll see you later.

Bye.

Girl, you told him.

Shoot, this car's

just getting started.

- You checked him
- so hard

- He was afraid to ask
- you for the money

To pay for your things.

Money?

Ray never asks me for money.

He always takes care

of my little odds and ends.

Come on, Lisa,

I know you don't

have it like that.

- Yeah, admit it. He's
- going to tack those

- Odds and ends
- onto your rent.

What rent?

I've been trying to pay ray rent

for six years.

He won't accept a cent.

No rent?

And you had the nerve

to treat him like a valet?

- What kind - of friend
- Are you?

- Well, you're
- the ones who said

- Don't be used
- like a doormat.

And when did you start

listening to us?

Yeah, 'cause we're

paying rent.

I guess I'll be paying rent too

- if I don't get this furniture
- rearranged

- Like my dear friend ray
- likes it.

Oh!

Move!

- Quick, quick,
- move that.

Mm, mm, mm.

This mask smells pretty good.

What's in it?

Uh, oatmeal...

Papaya...

Honey.

Mm, making me hungry.

And seaweed.

I just lost my appetite.

Whatever happened

to good old-fashioned chemicals?

They're too harsh.

- Now, look, when the camera
- zooms in

Your skin should be

firm, smooth and tight.

It's tight.

Oops.

We better take this off.

You got a chisel?

Okay, the wax

is ready.

Wax? We washing a car?

No. We're taking care

of your eyebrows.

Hold up. Whoa.

- What's wrong
- with my eyebrows?

Ty, the camera doesn't hide

any flaws, okay?

And right now you have

two big bushy ones.

Now hold still.

All right.

- Just don't get any of that
- on my mustache.

What mustache?

My mustache.

Oh, okay, I see it.

You don't need to worry

about that, no.

Yeah, there.

- Smooth as a
- baby's bottom.

Mm-hmm.

And now for

the finishing touch.

An herbal astringent.

Bring it on.

- Now this may
- sting a little.

Girl, please, all right?

I'm a man.

Nothing sting me.

Jordan p. Bennett.

The "p" stands for pain.

Now this may hurt.

Hurt?

Oh, Tia, this is just wax.

That's the problem with women.

- You guys don't know how to deal
- with a little pain.

Get ready.

One...

Two...

Three!

- Lisa, I got everything
- you wanted

Except for the funyons.

- Can you live
- with cheetos?

Oh, yeah, yeah.

- I can live
- with anything...

- As long as
- I'm living here.

Let me give you

a little gas money.

Oh, no need.

Lisa, we need to talk.

Oh, no. After dinner, ray.

I made your favorite...

- Turkey meat loaf,
- potatoes au gratin

And spinach souffle.

Uh, Lisa,

dinner can wait.

Now, about

our situation...

We don't have a situation.

I think we do.

Why don't you have a seat.

Lisa, when two people

live under the same roof

obviously there's going

to be a little tension.

Oh, ray, tension is

such a strong word.

I prefer to think of it

as... affection.

Well, your affection

has been snapping at me

for the past two days.

Obviously, we

have a problem

and I think change

is in order.

Change?

Oh, no, ray,

everything is fine.

In fact, I have

never been happier.

- End of discussion.
- Let's eat.

Now, hold on, Lisa.

Come on, we've got

to look at this

problem square on.

And there's only

one solution.

Yes, ray?

- Well, I think we
- need to set aside

- Some regularly
- scheduled time

For a chat.

Huh?

Yeah. So that when

- there's something
- on your mind

We can talk about it

before your affections

start building up.

- Is that all you wanted
- to talk about?

Yeah.

Aw! For heaven's sake, ray!

Oh, you men always create

so much drama.

Always making mountains

out of molehills.

Gimme a break.

We living in good times.

We should be celebrating

what's happening now.

I'll get that.

That's my mama.

I better put a block

on that b.E.T.

Okay, now you just wait

right here, baby, okay?

I'm going to go talk

to the photographer.

Cool.

Okay, thanks, Tony.

See, that wasn't so bad.

Word.

Hey, was it awful?

Word.

Excuse me.

My client has arrived.

Jordan g.Q. Bennett.

The initials say it all.

I hope your brought

a change of clothes, g.Q.

- See, we're looking
- for the men of Michigan

Not the men of Armani.

Oh, well, um...

- Why don't we just
- take off his jacket

And loosen his tie.

- Loosen your tie!
- Take it off!

- I guess... okay,
- that could work.

But I need it relaxed

and natural.

Not posed.

Not posed.

Tyreke is

in the house.

You're early.

This is our time.

Too bad.

- Tyreke needs to be shot
- when his muscles have peaked.

Something you obviously

don't have to worry about.

Well, Tia, we are

in the middle

of our session

so, um, tyreke

will just have to...

Park his pecs.

All right, Jordan,

show me who you are.

Okay, work it, baby.

That's it.

- Make the camera
- love you.

- Vogue and vogue
- and vogue

And vogue and vogue...

And freeze!

Right there!

No. You freeze...

Over there.

I'm okay.

I'm okay. Thanks.

Okay, Jordan, that's enough.

Jordan, you can stop now.

Oh.

- I need you to lose your shirt
- for the muscle pose.

The muscle what?

The muscle pose.

Yeah, j, go ahead,

show them what you got.

No way!

I will not have my client

treated like a piece of meat.

I will.

Get on up there, Ty.

It's muscle time.

- Show him
- what you got.

We'll be leaving now.

I don't guess you'd

want to reschedule

another photo shoot?

Go.

Thought not.

Man, we

were robbed.

- Tia: - Well, you have
- To admit

Tony does look good

under that mistletoe.

Word.

Well, at least I got

something out of this...

Smooth skin.

- I was going to say something
- about that, dog.

Looks good.

Thanks, dog, thanks.

Love the arch.

Oh, you like that?

Hey, it's like

I always say...

- Men are all
- about egos.

- You know what?
- You are right.

I know.

Women are different.

- We don't have
- to butt heads.

- Yeah, we're more into
- cooperation than competition.

Thank you.

Guys, I just heard

- the men's calendar
- was such a hit

They're coming out with

a women of Michigan calendar.

- What?!
- Great?!

Well, may the best woman win.

Oh, don't worry. I will.

Yeah, right.

- Girl, what you
- talking about?

Diavian:

Please, Cindy Crawford

is my auntie.

You know, vogue,

right here, you know?

- Oh, yeah, a couple
- of those snicker doodles.

I was trying to get

the snicker doodles in.

- From here on out,
- you getting in that calendar

Is between you and the photo...

The camera!

- That's the difference
- between men and women.

- We don't care
- about who wins.

We're just here ha...

I can't believe I...

All I know is,

if you guys hadn't been so...

Stop tape. Come back.

Brain went away.