Sister, Sister (1994–1999): Season 6, Episode 13 - Two Guys, a Girl and a Calendar - full transcript
Michigan is hosting a photo calendar contest for the guys so whoever wins will be published in the calendar. With Tia pushing Tyreke, and Tamera pushing Jordan, will things get out of control? Will this contest end valuable friendships?
Oh!
Jeez... oh.
Hey, tyreke,
I am so glad you showed up.
- C-C-Can you help us
- with these boxes, please?
- 'Cause, you know,
- my back, oh, jeez.
- Why, sure. Yeah,
- I got you. Come on.
Oh, it's heavy.
Oh. Whoo.
- Now, you see, ladies,
- it's all about technique.
- Just got to lift
- with your knees.
Oh, hello.
- I think these biceps
- have a little something
- To do with it, too,
- you know.
What?
Oh, well, um, diavian,
she was just telling me
- that all the
- girls are saying
You should try out
for the calendar.
What calendar?
Oh! Um, let's see.
This calendar...
"the men of Michigan"...
The 12 finest-looking men
on campus.
- Yep, they're holding one spot
- for a freshman
- And you could be
- that fresh man.
Uh-uh, not me.
This is just not my flavor.
You can win a trip for two
to Hawaii for the pro bowl.
The pro bowl?
Now, that's my flavor
- but I don't know anything
- about modeling.
Well, hey...
I could school you.
Oh, how can
you say no?
- Hold on,
- wait a minute.
- Now, what do you two get
- out of this?
Nothing.
I'm just helping diavian.
Diavian?
Come on.
- Oh, all right,
- the committee member
Who signs up the most guys
wins her own trip to Hawaii.
- Why didn't y'all
- say so?
I'll help a sister out.
- Thank you, - thank you,
- Thank you.
You're the man.
- I'm going
- to Hawaii.
"The men of Michigan."
- You're just
- too much.
Hey.
There's Steve.
Oh, Steve...
I am so glad
you showed up.
Yeah.
Here.
Jeez.
♪ I do my own style
in my own time ♪
♪ how different
we have come to be ♪
♪ even though I'm glad
to be with you ♪
- ♪ I got to feel
- what's real for me ♪
♪ Like you got to do
what's right for you ♪
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
- Lisa:
- So, you girls ready to go?
- There are only four hours left
- in that 12-hour sale.
Well, I'm not worried.
Yesterday, I hid
- some cute dresses
- in men's suits.
Amateur.
I bought my stuff last week.
I'm returning it today
- and buying it back
- at the sale price, okay?
- Well, my items were set aside
- last month.
I used to date the manager.
Oh, figures.
- Oh, good afternoon,
- ladies.
- Hey, ray.
- Hi, ray.
How you doing, ray?
- Lisa, have you seen
- my invitation?
I put it on your desk.
- Oh, good. Did you stitch up
- that tear in my tux?
Yesterday.
- Next time you go
- to a wedding
- Let the young guys fight
- for the garter.
I was this close.
Oh, oh, did you get
my tux shirt pressed?
Yes, ray.
- Ray:
- Great. Thanks a lot.
Good-bye, ladies.
Bye-bye.
- Whoo! Come on, girls,
- let's go.
What?
Look at her, Monica.
- She's so used to
- being a doormat
She doesn't even know
when she's being walked on.
What are you talking about?
- Ray... he was
- just ordering you around
Like you were his maid.
- Yeah, he did everything
- but call you "beulah."
Mm-hmm.
Now, look, ladies,
no man tells me what to do.
- Ray:
- Lisa?
- Lisa,
- one more thing...
I promised the girls
I would cook dinner tonight
- but I forgot
- about my fund-raiser.
Would you please...?
Oh, sure, ray.
Uh-huh.
Now I know why no man
tells you what to do.
You too busy
taking orders from ray.
He said, "please."
- Hey, guys,
- what's up?
- Oh, um, tyreke
- is signing up
- For the "men of Michigan"
- calendar.
- Really?
- That's right.
Doing that pinup
thing, Tyson?
He's stupid.
That's not funny, man.
The winner gets
two pro bowl tickets.
- Pro bowl? You're taking
- your best dog, right?
- I got to get picked first,
- all right?
- So far, I can't even get
- past the form.
Well, no problem.
Let me handle this.
- Jordan f. Bennett...
- The "f" stands for forms.
- Let's check this out
- over some fries.
I'll be right back.
- Tia:
- He is a shoo-in
- For the calendar
- and doesn't even know it.
We had to twist his arm
to get him to sign up.
I know. I mean...
So, why didn't you guys
ask Jordan?
- Oh, so, um... you're saying
- my baby doesn't have
- What it takes
- to be in the calendar?
No, no, no, tamera,
don't get me wrong, okay?
- Um, Jordan's
- adorable and all
But-but he's got more of,
um... brains than a body.
- We-we all have
- different gifts.
E-Excuse me...
But, um, Jordan has a body
only he isn't flexing
every chance he gets
like some people who
will remain nameless.
Tyreke. Oops, did I
say that out loud?
Whatever, tamera.
I'm going to go ask him.
Oh, no.
Yes, I'm gone.
- That girl is
- wasting her time.
- There is no way
- he'll agree to...
Look at sister.
- Tia:
- Shoot...
Jordan's too smart to fall
for that eyelash thing.
- Oldest trick
- in the book.
Where do I sign?
- Lisa:
- Whoo!
Hey, ray.
Oh. Hi, Lisa.
How'd the fitting go?
Long.
Whoa.
Mrs. Ford wanted
a handmade dress
at a hand-me-down price.
There's only one thing worse
than rich people...
Cheap rich people.
You're still talking
about Mrs. Ford, right?
You're safe for now, ray.
There you go.
Just sit back and relax.
Ooh, I don't mind if I do.
Ooh, ray, could you put on
some water for tea?
Sure. After I finish this.
Oh. Oh, never mind.
I'll get it.
Yeah, while you're up,
would you get me a cup?
Sugar and no milk?
Sure, ray.
Yeah, and a couple
- of those
- snicker doodles.
Anything else?
- Well, now that
- you mention it
I'd love to have a sandwich.
Well, get it yourself!
A-Are you all right?
No, I'm not...
And-and I'm not
your doormat, either.
So, you can just quit
walking all over me.
I don't walk all over you.
- Well, not anymore
- you don't.
- It's a new day,
- ray Campbell.
I am not Florence,
I'm not Alice
and I'm not
"the nanny named Fran."
So, from now on,
you need to be
Charles in charge
of your own business.
Well, that's it.
I'm putting a block
on that Nick at nite.
What's up?
Do your thang, Steve.
Thank you, Steve.
Your next contestant
is Tony Dixon.
Ho.
Go! Go.
- Get up and show 'em
- you're calendar material.
But don't get up there
- and run off
- with your mouth.
Word.
Tony, uh, describe yourself
in one word.
Uh...
That's a tough one.
See, I can't really
describe myself in one word
- because I've got
- so many levels.
Wow, that brother got
some verbal skills.
He might have a chance.
- It sounds like you
- want him to win.
- This is a contest,
- not a support group.
You want him to lose.
- Okay? There is
- only one freshman slot
And it's for you.
Aw, quit dreaming, Tia.
- You know it's
- all about Jordan.
- Tia:
- What?
Girl, you're the one
that needs to wake up
- because it's
- tyreke's world, okay?
Tyreke's world?
- Ladies, ladies, ladies,
- ladies, please.
- You see, that's
- the difference
- Between men
- and women.
- We don't care
- about who wins.
- We're just here
- to have fun.
I know that's right.
- Why don't y'all
- go cool off, okay?
Because you're tripping
- and it's starting
- to disturb our vibe.
Your vibe?
Mm-hmm.
Fine.
- Just roll.
- Just roll.
Which concludes the many
levels of Tony Dixon.
You sure you're finished?
Uh...
Word.
All right.
- Our next
- "man of Michigan" hopeful is
Jordan Bennett.
- Go, "j."
- Go, "j."
- Tyreke:
- Represent.
Mr. Bennett, uh
- why should you represent
- the freshman class
In the next calendar?
Because I have the spirit
the drive, and the g.P.A.
To lead our class
into the 21st century
and if I win
I promise to tell everybody
on the beaches of Hawaii
to go to Michigan.
Wolverines on the beach!
Yeah!
See?
My baby knows
how to improvise, okay?
Tyreke Scott.
- Tia:
- Whoo! Yeah!
Show 'em what you got.
Show 'em what you got.
Yes. Yes.
Okay, uh,
you're a campus escort.
What can we expect from you
- if you become
- a "man of Michigan"?
Uh, it's peace of mind.
Yeah, every lady at Michigan
can feel safe and secure
in knowing that my flashlight
is always on.
I peeped him on
the flashlight part.
Our next contestant
is Jason Phillips.
- Well, I am glad to see
- that you two have calmed down.
- Me, too,
- because all that tension
Just wasn't helping.
And you know what?
You guys are right, okay?
- This is all about fun
- and you both did a great job.
- Yeah, and you both
- deserve to win.
It's all you.
It's all you.
Diavian:
Attention, everyone.
Hey, okay, the judges
have made their decisions.
The freshman finalists
for the "men of Michigan" are...
Dash Hawkins...
- You the - man, dash.
- I told you, dash.
Tony Dixon...
You the man, Tony.
Tyreke Scott...
You the man!
- Yes, whoo,
- I knew it!
Marc solakian...
You're the man, Marc.
And Jordan Bennett.
I'm the man!
I'm the man!
Yes, yes, yes!
Ladies and gentlemen,
the freshman finalists
for the "men of Michigan."
Give it up!
- Man, these guys don't
- stand a chance...
I know that's right.
- 'Cause I'm going to knock
- this out of the box.
What about me?
Yeah, right.
- Ha-ha,
- you going down, "j."
- No, you didn't,
- buddy.
And you said my baby
wasn't calendar material.
- I'm about to be chillin'
- in waikiki.
You going to be
chillin', all right...
In the Michigan winter.
Tyreke's got this
thing sewn up.
Girl, please, we about to crank
this competition up a notch.
Okay.
Well... may
the best man win.
- Oh, uh, uh,
- don't worry.
Jordan will.
Diavian
it's so good
to see you.
Candy?
Di, have I told you
how much I love
your sweater?
Goes with the eyes.
Yes, yes.
- Oh, could you be
- more obvious?
I mean, how stupid
do you think I am?
Let me rephrase that.
Now, I'm not giving you
any information
you don't already know.
- From this moment on,
- you getting in that calendar
Is between you and the camera.
- The judges
- are making their decision
- On how good you look
- in the photos.
Thanks for nothing.
Jordan, grab the candy.
Grab it all. Get it.
Back up.
Jordan, I see Tamara
has you looking
- like you stole
- your big brother's clothes.
- Well, it must all
- be in the family
- 'cause you look
- like you got on
Your little
brother's shirt.
And what's up with
the "lord of the dance" pants?
At least they fit.
Tia, that is so tired.
Let's go, Jordan.
Looking tacky
might be contagious.
You should know.
Did you see tyreke?
We got a lot
of work to do.
Jordan looked great.
- We got a lot
- of work to do.
Lisa, have you made
some changes in here?
Yeah, I've made
some changes in here
and... up here.
All right, now.
Last night ray came in the
kitchen looking for a hot meal.
All he got was a cold shoulder.
- Well, work
- the shoulder, sister
- And if the shoulder doesn't
- work, throw up the hand.
Good afternoon,
ladies, I...
Well. Well...
I like it, Lisa.
Well, good.
Well, don't let me interrupt.
I'm off to run some errands.
Good.
- Well,
- while you're out, though
Um... I'd like you
to pick me up a few things.
I'd like a spool
of yellow thread,
my dry cleaning
TV guide and some dental floss.
Oh, and some funyons.
Huh. Okay.
You got a problem with that?
No, I said okay.
Okay, then.
Well, I'll see you later.
Bye.
Girl, you told him.
Shoot, this car's
just getting started.
- You checked him
- so hard
- He was afraid to ask
- you for the money
To pay for your things.
Money?
Ray never asks me for money.
He always takes care
of my little odds and ends.
Come on, Lisa,
I know you don't
have it like that.
- Yeah, admit it. He's
- going to tack those
- Odds and ends
- onto your rent.
What rent?
I've been trying to pay ray rent
for six years.
He won't accept a cent.
No rent?
And you had the nerve
to treat him like a valet?
- What kind - of friend
- Are you?
- Well, you're
- the ones who said
- Don't be used
- like a doormat.
And when did you start
listening to us?
Yeah, 'cause we're
paying rent.
I guess I'll be paying rent too
- if I don't get this furniture
- rearranged
- Like my dear friend ray
- likes it.
Oh!
Move!
- Quick, quick,
- move that.
Mm, mm, mm.
This mask smells pretty good.
What's in it?
Uh, oatmeal...
Papaya...
Honey.
Mm, making me hungry.
And seaweed.
I just lost my appetite.
Whatever happened
to good old-fashioned chemicals?
They're too harsh.
- Now, look, when the camera
- zooms in
Your skin should be
firm, smooth and tight.
It's tight.
Oops.
We better take this off.
You got a chisel?
Okay, the wax
is ready.
Wax? We washing a car?
No. We're taking care
of your eyebrows.
Hold up. Whoa.
- What's wrong
- with my eyebrows?
Ty, the camera doesn't hide
any flaws, okay?
And right now you have
two big bushy ones.
Now hold still.
All right.
- Just don't get any of that
- on my mustache.
What mustache?
My mustache.
Oh, okay, I see it.
You don't need to worry
about that, no.
Yeah, there.
- Smooth as a
- baby's bottom.
Mm-hmm.
And now for
the finishing touch.
An herbal astringent.
Bring it on.
- Now this may
- sting a little.
Girl, please, all right?
I'm a man.
Nothing sting me.
Jordan p. Bennett.
The "p" stands for pain.
Now this may hurt.
Hurt?
Oh, Tia, this is just wax.
That's the problem with women.
- You guys don't know how to deal
- with a little pain.
Get ready.
One...
Two...
Three!
- Lisa, I got everything
- you wanted
Except for the funyons.
- Can you live
- with cheetos?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
- I can live
- with anything...
- As long as
- I'm living here.
Let me give you
a little gas money.
Oh, no need.
Lisa, we need to talk.
Oh, no. After dinner, ray.
I made your favorite...
- Turkey meat loaf,
- potatoes au gratin
And spinach souffle.
Uh, Lisa,
dinner can wait.
Now, about
our situation...
We don't have a situation.
I think we do.
Why don't you have a seat.
Lisa, when two people
live under the same roof
obviously there's going
to be a little tension.
Oh, ray, tension is
such a strong word.
I prefer to think of it
as... affection.
Well, your affection
has been snapping at me
for the past two days.
Obviously, we
have a problem
and I think change
is in order.
Change?
Oh, no, ray,
everything is fine.
In fact, I have
never been happier.
- End of discussion.
- Let's eat.
Now, hold on, Lisa.
Come on, we've got
to look at this
problem square on.
And there's only
one solution.
Yes, ray?
- Well, I think we
- need to set aside
- Some regularly
- scheduled time
For a chat.
Huh?
Yeah. So that when
- there's something
- on your mind
We can talk about it
before your affections
start building up.
- Is that all you wanted
- to talk about?
Yeah.
Aw! For heaven's sake, ray!
Oh, you men always create
so much drama.
Always making mountains
out of molehills.
Gimme a break.
We living in good times.
We should be celebrating
what's happening now.
I'll get that.
That's my mama.
I better put a block
on that b.E.T.
Okay, now you just wait
right here, baby, okay?
I'm going to go talk
to the photographer.
Cool.
Okay, thanks, Tony.
See, that wasn't so bad.
Word.
Hey, was it awful?
Word.
Excuse me.
My client has arrived.
Jordan g.Q. Bennett.
The initials say it all.
I hope your brought
a change of clothes, g.Q.
- See, we're looking
- for the men of Michigan
Not the men of Armani.
Oh, well, um...
- Why don't we just
- take off his jacket
And loosen his tie.
- Loosen your tie!
- Take it off!
- I guess... okay,
- that could work.
But I need it relaxed
and natural.
Not posed.
Not posed.
Tyreke is
in the house.
You're early.
This is our time.
Too bad.
- Tyreke needs to be shot
- when his muscles have peaked.
Something you obviously
don't have to worry about.
Well, Tia, we are
in the middle
of our session
so, um, tyreke
will just have to...
Park his pecs.
All right, Jordan,
show me who you are.
Okay, work it, baby.
That's it.
- Make the camera
- love you.
- Vogue and vogue
- and vogue
And vogue and vogue...
And freeze!
Right there!
No. You freeze...
Over there.
I'm okay.
I'm okay. Thanks.
Okay, Jordan, that's enough.
Jordan, you can stop now.
Oh.
- I need you to lose your shirt
- for the muscle pose.
The muscle what?
The muscle pose.
Yeah, j, go ahead,
show them what you got.
No way!
I will not have my client
treated like a piece of meat.
I will.
Get on up there, Ty.
It's muscle time.
- Show him
- what you got.
We'll be leaving now.
I don't guess you'd
want to reschedule
another photo shoot?
Go.
Thought not.
Man, we
were robbed.
- Tia: - Well, you have
- To admit
Tony does look good
under that mistletoe.
Word.
Well, at least I got
something out of this...
Smooth skin.
- I was going to say something
- about that, dog.
Looks good.
Thanks, dog, thanks.
Love the arch.
Oh, you like that?
Hey, it's like
I always say...
- Men are all
- about egos.
- You know what?
- You are right.
I know.
Women are different.
- We don't have
- to butt heads.
- Yeah, we're more into
- cooperation than competition.
Thank you.
Guys, I just heard
- the men's calendar
- was such a hit
They're coming out with
a women of Michigan calendar.
- What?!
- Great?!
Well, may the best woman win.
Oh, don't worry. I will.
Yeah, right.
- Girl, what you
- talking about?
Diavian:
Please, Cindy Crawford
is my auntie.
You know, vogue,
right here, you know?
- Oh, yeah, a couple
- of those snicker doodles.
I was trying to get
the snicker doodles in.
- From here on out,
- you getting in that calendar
Is between you and the photo...
The camera!
- That's the difference
- between men and women.
- We don't care
- about who wins.
We're just here ha...
I can't believe I...
All I know is,
if you guys hadn't been so...
Stop tape. Come back.
Brain went away.
Jeez... oh.
Hey, tyreke,
I am so glad you showed up.
- C-C-Can you help us
- with these boxes, please?
- 'Cause, you know,
- my back, oh, jeez.
- Why, sure. Yeah,
- I got you. Come on.
Oh, it's heavy.
Oh. Whoo.
- Now, you see, ladies,
- it's all about technique.
- Just got to lift
- with your knees.
Oh, hello.
- I think these biceps
- have a little something
- To do with it, too,
- you know.
What?
Oh, well, um, diavian,
she was just telling me
- that all the
- girls are saying
You should try out
for the calendar.
What calendar?
Oh! Um, let's see.
This calendar...
"the men of Michigan"...
The 12 finest-looking men
on campus.
- Yep, they're holding one spot
- for a freshman
- And you could be
- that fresh man.
Uh-uh, not me.
This is just not my flavor.
You can win a trip for two
to Hawaii for the pro bowl.
The pro bowl?
Now, that's my flavor
- but I don't know anything
- about modeling.
Well, hey...
I could school you.
Oh, how can
you say no?
- Hold on,
- wait a minute.
- Now, what do you two get
- out of this?
Nothing.
I'm just helping diavian.
Diavian?
Come on.
- Oh, all right,
- the committee member
Who signs up the most guys
wins her own trip to Hawaii.
- Why didn't y'all
- say so?
I'll help a sister out.
- Thank you, - thank you,
- Thank you.
You're the man.
- I'm going
- to Hawaii.
"The men of Michigan."
- You're just
- too much.
Hey.
There's Steve.
Oh, Steve...
I am so glad
you showed up.
Yeah.
Here.
Jeez.
♪ I do my own style
in my own time ♪
♪ how different
we have come to be ♪
♪ even though I'm glad
to be with you ♪
- ♪ I got to feel
- what's real for me ♪
♪ Like you got to do
what's right for you ♪
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
- Lisa:
- So, you girls ready to go?
- There are only four hours left
- in that 12-hour sale.
Well, I'm not worried.
Yesterday, I hid
- some cute dresses
- in men's suits.
Amateur.
I bought my stuff last week.
I'm returning it today
- and buying it back
- at the sale price, okay?
- Well, my items were set aside
- last month.
I used to date the manager.
Oh, figures.
- Oh, good afternoon,
- ladies.
- Hey, ray.
- Hi, ray.
How you doing, ray?
- Lisa, have you seen
- my invitation?
I put it on your desk.
- Oh, good. Did you stitch up
- that tear in my tux?
Yesterday.
- Next time you go
- to a wedding
- Let the young guys fight
- for the garter.
I was this close.
Oh, oh, did you get
my tux shirt pressed?
Yes, ray.
- Ray:
- Great. Thanks a lot.
Good-bye, ladies.
Bye-bye.
- Whoo! Come on, girls,
- let's go.
What?
Look at her, Monica.
- She's so used to
- being a doormat
She doesn't even know
when she's being walked on.
What are you talking about?
- Ray... he was
- just ordering you around
Like you were his maid.
- Yeah, he did everything
- but call you "beulah."
Mm-hmm.
Now, look, ladies,
no man tells me what to do.
- Ray:
- Lisa?
- Lisa,
- one more thing...
I promised the girls
I would cook dinner tonight
- but I forgot
- about my fund-raiser.
Would you please...?
Oh, sure, ray.
Uh-huh.
Now I know why no man
tells you what to do.
You too busy
taking orders from ray.
He said, "please."
- Hey, guys,
- what's up?
- Oh, um, tyreke
- is signing up
- For the "men of Michigan"
- calendar.
- Really?
- That's right.
Doing that pinup
thing, Tyson?
He's stupid.
That's not funny, man.
The winner gets
two pro bowl tickets.
- Pro bowl? You're taking
- your best dog, right?
- I got to get picked first,
- all right?
- So far, I can't even get
- past the form.
Well, no problem.
Let me handle this.
- Jordan f. Bennett...
- The "f" stands for forms.
- Let's check this out
- over some fries.
I'll be right back.
- Tia:
- He is a shoo-in
- For the calendar
- and doesn't even know it.
We had to twist his arm
to get him to sign up.
I know. I mean...
So, why didn't you guys
ask Jordan?
- Oh, so, um... you're saying
- my baby doesn't have
- What it takes
- to be in the calendar?
No, no, no, tamera,
don't get me wrong, okay?
- Um, Jordan's
- adorable and all
But-but he's got more of,
um... brains than a body.
- We-we all have
- different gifts.
E-Excuse me...
But, um, Jordan has a body
only he isn't flexing
every chance he gets
like some people who
will remain nameless.
Tyreke. Oops, did I
say that out loud?
Whatever, tamera.
I'm going to go ask him.
Oh, no.
Yes, I'm gone.
- That girl is
- wasting her time.
- There is no way
- he'll agree to...
Look at sister.
- Tia:
- Shoot...
Jordan's too smart to fall
for that eyelash thing.
- Oldest trick
- in the book.
Where do I sign?
- Lisa:
- Whoo!
Hey, ray.
Oh. Hi, Lisa.
How'd the fitting go?
Long.
Whoa.
Mrs. Ford wanted
a handmade dress
at a hand-me-down price.
There's only one thing worse
than rich people...
Cheap rich people.
You're still talking
about Mrs. Ford, right?
You're safe for now, ray.
There you go.
Just sit back and relax.
Ooh, I don't mind if I do.
Ooh, ray, could you put on
some water for tea?
Sure. After I finish this.
Oh. Oh, never mind.
I'll get it.
Yeah, while you're up,
would you get me a cup?
Sugar and no milk?
Sure, ray.
Yeah, and a couple
- of those
- snicker doodles.
Anything else?
- Well, now that
- you mention it
I'd love to have a sandwich.
Well, get it yourself!
A-Are you all right?
No, I'm not...
And-and I'm not
your doormat, either.
So, you can just quit
walking all over me.
I don't walk all over you.
- Well, not anymore
- you don't.
- It's a new day,
- ray Campbell.
I am not Florence,
I'm not Alice
and I'm not
"the nanny named Fran."
So, from now on,
you need to be
Charles in charge
of your own business.
Well, that's it.
I'm putting a block
on that Nick at nite.
What's up?
Do your thang, Steve.
Thank you, Steve.
Your next contestant
is Tony Dixon.
Ho.
Go! Go.
- Get up and show 'em
- you're calendar material.
But don't get up there
- and run off
- with your mouth.
Word.
Tony, uh, describe yourself
in one word.
Uh...
That's a tough one.
See, I can't really
describe myself in one word
- because I've got
- so many levels.
Wow, that brother got
some verbal skills.
He might have a chance.
- It sounds like you
- want him to win.
- This is a contest,
- not a support group.
You want him to lose.
- Okay? There is
- only one freshman slot
And it's for you.
Aw, quit dreaming, Tia.
- You know it's
- all about Jordan.
- Tia:
- What?
Girl, you're the one
that needs to wake up
- because it's
- tyreke's world, okay?
Tyreke's world?
- Ladies, ladies, ladies,
- ladies, please.
- You see, that's
- the difference
- Between men
- and women.
- We don't care
- about who wins.
- We're just here
- to have fun.
I know that's right.
- Why don't y'all
- go cool off, okay?
Because you're tripping
- and it's starting
- to disturb our vibe.
Your vibe?
Mm-hmm.
Fine.
- Just roll.
- Just roll.
Which concludes the many
levels of Tony Dixon.
You sure you're finished?
Uh...
Word.
All right.
- Our next
- "man of Michigan" hopeful is
Jordan Bennett.
- Go, "j."
- Go, "j."
- Tyreke:
- Represent.
Mr. Bennett, uh
- why should you represent
- the freshman class
In the next calendar?
Because I have the spirit
the drive, and the g.P.A.
To lead our class
into the 21st century
and if I win
I promise to tell everybody
on the beaches of Hawaii
to go to Michigan.
Wolverines on the beach!
Yeah!
See?
My baby knows
how to improvise, okay?
Tyreke Scott.
- Tia:
- Whoo! Yeah!
Show 'em what you got.
Show 'em what you got.
Yes. Yes.
Okay, uh,
you're a campus escort.
What can we expect from you
- if you become
- a "man of Michigan"?
Uh, it's peace of mind.
Yeah, every lady at Michigan
can feel safe and secure
in knowing that my flashlight
is always on.
I peeped him on
the flashlight part.
Our next contestant
is Jason Phillips.
- Well, I am glad to see
- that you two have calmed down.
- Me, too,
- because all that tension
Just wasn't helping.
And you know what?
You guys are right, okay?
- This is all about fun
- and you both did a great job.
- Yeah, and you both
- deserve to win.
It's all you.
It's all you.
Diavian:
Attention, everyone.
Hey, okay, the judges
have made their decisions.
The freshman finalists
for the "men of Michigan" are...
Dash Hawkins...
- You the - man, dash.
- I told you, dash.
Tony Dixon...
You the man, Tony.
Tyreke Scott...
You the man!
- Yes, whoo,
- I knew it!
Marc solakian...
You're the man, Marc.
And Jordan Bennett.
I'm the man!
I'm the man!
Yes, yes, yes!
Ladies and gentlemen,
the freshman finalists
for the "men of Michigan."
Give it up!
- Man, these guys don't
- stand a chance...
I know that's right.
- 'Cause I'm going to knock
- this out of the box.
What about me?
Yeah, right.
- Ha-ha,
- you going down, "j."
- No, you didn't,
- buddy.
And you said my baby
wasn't calendar material.
- I'm about to be chillin'
- in waikiki.
You going to be
chillin', all right...
In the Michigan winter.
Tyreke's got this
thing sewn up.
Girl, please, we about to crank
this competition up a notch.
Okay.
Well... may
the best man win.
- Oh, uh, uh,
- don't worry.
Jordan will.
Diavian
it's so good
to see you.
Candy?
Di, have I told you
how much I love
your sweater?
Goes with the eyes.
Yes, yes.
- Oh, could you be
- more obvious?
I mean, how stupid
do you think I am?
Let me rephrase that.
Now, I'm not giving you
any information
you don't already know.
- From this moment on,
- you getting in that calendar
Is between you and the camera.
- The judges
- are making their decision
- On how good you look
- in the photos.
Thanks for nothing.
Jordan, grab the candy.
Grab it all. Get it.
Back up.
Jordan, I see Tamara
has you looking
- like you stole
- your big brother's clothes.
- Well, it must all
- be in the family
- 'cause you look
- like you got on
Your little
brother's shirt.
And what's up with
the "lord of the dance" pants?
At least they fit.
Tia, that is so tired.
Let's go, Jordan.
Looking tacky
might be contagious.
You should know.
Did you see tyreke?
We got a lot
of work to do.
Jordan looked great.
- We got a lot
- of work to do.
Lisa, have you made
some changes in here?
Yeah, I've made
some changes in here
and... up here.
All right, now.
Last night ray came in the
kitchen looking for a hot meal.
All he got was a cold shoulder.
- Well, work
- the shoulder, sister
- And if the shoulder doesn't
- work, throw up the hand.
Good afternoon,
ladies, I...
Well. Well...
I like it, Lisa.
Well, good.
Well, don't let me interrupt.
I'm off to run some errands.
Good.
- Well,
- while you're out, though
Um... I'd like you
to pick me up a few things.
I'd like a spool
of yellow thread,
my dry cleaning
TV guide and some dental floss.
Oh, and some funyons.
Huh. Okay.
You got a problem with that?
No, I said okay.
Okay, then.
Well, I'll see you later.
Bye.
Girl, you told him.
Shoot, this car's
just getting started.
- You checked him
- so hard
- He was afraid to ask
- you for the money
To pay for your things.
Money?
Ray never asks me for money.
He always takes care
of my little odds and ends.
Come on, Lisa,
I know you don't
have it like that.
- Yeah, admit it. He's
- going to tack those
- Odds and ends
- onto your rent.
What rent?
I've been trying to pay ray rent
for six years.
He won't accept a cent.
No rent?
And you had the nerve
to treat him like a valet?
- What kind - of friend
- Are you?
- Well, you're
- the ones who said
- Don't be used
- like a doormat.
And when did you start
listening to us?
Yeah, 'cause we're
paying rent.
I guess I'll be paying rent too
- if I don't get this furniture
- rearranged
- Like my dear friend ray
- likes it.
Oh!
Move!
- Quick, quick,
- move that.
Mm, mm, mm.
This mask smells pretty good.
What's in it?
Uh, oatmeal...
Papaya...
Honey.
Mm, making me hungry.
And seaweed.
I just lost my appetite.
Whatever happened
to good old-fashioned chemicals?
They're too harsh.
- Now, look, when the camera
- zooms in
Your skin should be
firm, smooth and tight.
It's tight.
Oops.
We better take this off.
You got a chisel?
Okay, the wax
is ready.
Wax? We washing a car?
No. We're taking care
of your eyebrows.
Hold up. Whoa.
- What's wrong
- with my eyebrows?
Ty, the camera doesn't hide
any flaws, okay?
And right now you have
two big bushy ones.
Now hold still.
All right.
- Just don't get any of that
- on my mustache.
What mustache?
My mustache.
Oh, okay, I see it.
You don't need to worry
about that, no.
Yeah, there.
- Smooth as a
- baby's bottom.
Mm-hmm.
And now for
the finishing touch.
An herbal astringent.
Bring it on.
- Now this may
- sting a little.
Girl, please, all right?
I'm a man.
Nothing sting me.
Jordan p. Bennett.
The "p" stands for pain.
Now this may hurt.
Hurt?
Oh, Tia, this is just wax.
That's the problem with women.
- You guys don't know how to deal
- with a little pain.
Get ready.
One...
Two...
Three!
- Lisa, I got everything
- you wanted
Except for the funyons.
- Can you live
- with cheetos?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
- I can live
- with anything...
- As long as
- I'm living here.
Let me give you
a little gas money.
Oh, no need.
Lisa, we need to talk.
Oh, no. After dinner, ray.
I made your favorite...
- Turkey meat loaf,
- potatoes au gratin
And spinach souffle.
Uh, Lisa,
dinner can wait.
Now, about
our situation...
We don't have a situation.
I think we do.
Why don't you have a seat.
Lisa, when two people
live under the same roof
obviously there's going
to be a little tension.
Oh, ray, tension is
such a strong word.
I prefer to think of it
as... affection.
Well, your affection
has been snapping at me
for the past two days.
Obviously, we
have a problem
and I think change
is in order.
Change?
Oh, no, ray,
everything is fine.
In fact, I have
never been happier.
- End of discussion.
- Let's eat.
Now, hold on, Lisa.
Come on, we've got
to look at this
problem square on.
And there's only
one solution.
Yes, ray?
- Well, I think we
- need to set aside
- Some regularly
- scheduled time
For a chat.
Huh?
Yeah. So that when
- there's something
- on your mind
We can talk about it
before your affections
start building up.
- Is that all you wanted
- to talk about?
Yeah.
Aw! For heaven's sake, ray!
Oh, you men always create
so much drama.
Always making mountains
out of molehills.
Gimme a break.
We living in good times.
We should be celebrating
what's happening now.
I'll get that.
That's my mama.
I better put a block
on that b.E.T.
Okay, now you just wait
right here, baby, okay?
I'm going to go talk
to the photographer.
Cool.
Okay, thanks, Tony.
See, that wasn't so bad.
Word.
Hey, was it awful?
Word.
Excuse me.
My client has arrived.
Jordan g.Q. Bennett.
The initials say it all.
I hope your brought
a change of clothes, g.Q.
- See, we're looking
- for the men of Michigan
Not the men of Armani.
Oh, well, um...
- Why don't we just
- take off his jacket
And loosen his tie.
- Loosen your tie!
- Take it off!
- I guess... okay,
- that could work.
But I need it relaxed
and natural.
Not posed.
Not posed.
Tyreke is
in the house.
You're early.
This is our time.
Too bad.
- Tyreke needs to be shot
- when his muscles have peaked.
Something you obviously
don't have to worry about.
Well, Tia, we are
in the middle
of our session
so, um, tyreke
will just have to...
Park his pecs.
All right, Jordan,
show me who you are.
Okay, work it, baby.
That's it.
- Make the camera
- love you.
- Vogue and vogue
- and vogue
And vogue and vogue...
And freeze!
Right there!
No. You freeze...
Over there.
I'm okay.
I'm okay. Thanks.
Okay, Jordan, that's enough.
Jordan, you can stop now.
Oh.
- I need you to lose your shirt
- for the muscle pose.
The muscle what?
The muscle pose.
Yeah, j, go ahead,
show them what you got.
No way!
I will not have my client
treated like a piece of meat.
I will.
Get on up there, Ty.
It's muscle time.
- Show him
- what you got.
We'll be leaving now.
I don't guess you'd
want to reschedule
another photo shoot?
Go.
Thought not.
Man, we
were robbed.
- Tia: - Well, you have
- To admit
Tony does look good
under that mistletoe.
Word.
Well, at least I got
something out of this...
Smooth skin.
- I was going to say something
- about that, dog.
Looks good.
Thanks, dog, thanks.
Love the arch.
Oh, you like that?
Hey, it's like
I always say...
- Men are all
- about egos.
- You know what?
- You are right.
I know.
Women are different.
- We don't have
- to butt heads.
- Yeah, we're more into
- cooperation than competition.
Thank you.
Guys, I just heard
- the men's calendar
- was such a hit
They're coming out with
a women of Michigan calendar.
- What?!
- Great?!
Well, may the best woman win.
Oh, don't worry. I will.
Yeah, right.
- Girl, what you
- talking about?
Diavian:
Please, Cindy Crawford
is my auntie.
You know, vogue,
right here, you know?
- Oh, yeah, a couple
- of those snicker doodles.
I was trying to get
the snicker doodles in.
- From here on out,
- you getting in that calendar
Is between you and the photo...
The camera!
- That's the difference
- between men and women.
- We don't care
- about who wins.
We're just here ha...
I can't believe I...
All I know is,
if you guys hadn't been so...
Stop tape. Come back.
Brain went away.