Sister, Sister (1994–1999): Season 5, Episode 9 - The Best Policy - full transcript

Okay, perfect!

No, no, no, just a touch

of hair spray.

Tia, that is enough.

What are you trying to do?

- Widen the hole
- in the ozone layer?

Who cares if the planet's

destroyed by radiation?

Senior pictures live on forever.

My sister makes a good point.

You see, if your



senior picture bites

- not only will your classmates
- make fun of you

But 20 years later,

your kids will crack on you

then... your grandkids.

It's one second in time

that can haunt you

for the rest of your life.

- Man:
- Okay, Tia, on three.

Wait! Wait, wait.

I-Is my hair too poofy?

Can I... can I get

a little more hair spray?

Okay, Tia, on three.



One... two... three.

- Okay, tamera,
- are you ready?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, whenever.

- I'm cool.
- Just keeping it real.

- Okay, on three.
- One...

Wa-wait, wait, wait.

- Are you like going to say,
- "one, two, three, smile" or...?

Three!

♪ I do my own style

in my own time ♪

♪ how different

we have come to be ♪

♪ even though I'm glad

to be with you ♪

♪ I got to feel

what's real for me ♪

♪ like you got to do

what's right for you ♪

Lisa:

Not to worry,

councilwoman Hicks.

Uh-huh, city hall's

"woman of the year"

- should look
- absolutely fabulous

And believe me, you will.

- Oh, of course your dress
- is almost done.

- Mom, you haven't even
- started it.

I got a sleeve. Press.

The press!

I was asking if the press

was going to be there.

Oh, good, because this fabric

photographs like a dream.

- You should see the work
- on the sleeve.

Yeah, that's all there is.

Shh! S-Sure! Yeah.

Sure, you can try it on

by tomorrow.

Okay. All right,

well, I'll see you then.

Bye-bye.

Whew! Girls, looks like

I got another all-nighter.

Lisa, why did you tell

that woman that big lie?

- Oh, come on,
- that was just a little fib.

A big lie is gino down at

vitelli's house of fabric

believing I'm Italian.

You know, I never realized

how dishonest this world is.

Thank goodness

I don't lie anymore.

Puh-leze. Your nose grew an inch

on that last statement alone.

- Yep. In fact,
- I bet her a month's chores

- That she couldn't go a week
- without lying.

You?!

Mm-hmm.

A whole week

without lying?

And I'm going to do it, too.

Okay, tamera, i'm

proud of you, honey.

Thank you.

- And when you're
- doing Tia's chores

- I don't want
- to see any streaks

- When you wax
- the floor

And I like my cottons

dried on the line.

Puh-leze.

- Relax, vivica.
- This delicious pasta dinner

Is being prepared

by chef ray-ar-Dee.

Oh, boo, I wish you'd

let me cook for you.

Vivica, in that dress,

you are cooking.

Ah, dang!

She's still here.

Oh, hi, girls.

You're just in time.

I'm making dinner

for your father.

- I thought you guys were going
- to that new restaurant.

Well, we were, but you can't

get near le petit cafe

without reservations.

I promise we'll get in

by the weekend.

I'm sure we will, honey.

So, don't you think

it'll be oodles of fun

for all four of us

to have dinner together

like a family?

Well, the truth is...

She'd like to, but, um,

oh, my goodness, tamera

you have a big

history paper

due tomorrow.

Big paper.

Yeah.

Oh, oh, oh...

Wait a minute.

- Now, come on,
- tamera.

I mean, what could be

doing homework

or eating spaghetti

with your father

and his best girl?

Well, to be honest, I...

It's a major history paper

and, you know, it counts

for a third of her grade.

- Whole
- third grade.

Yeah.

Well, you got to have

dinner sometime.

So why not now?

Why not now?

Tamera, I bet

you can't think

of one good reason.

Well...

I s... I still don't

feel comfortable

around you, vivica.

Have I done something, boo?

Hold it right there,

young lady.

What was that about?

Well, dad, she asked me

a honest question.

- I gave her
- a honest answer.

Don't try to get out of this

with some tricky argument.

Vivica doesn't want me

to stay for dinner.

She's just acting

like that so she

can impress you.

Anybody who acts

that phony isn't

good enough for you.

You have no right to judge

my relationship with vivica.

I'm not judging it.

I'm telling you

my honest feelings.

I will not have you

insulting vivica.

No matter what you say,

she does care about me

and I care about her.

Well, then I guess

there's nothing left to say.

Oh, yes, there is.

Get upstairs and finish

your history paper.

Daddy?

Ca-can you bring me

some spaghetti?

You want to hear the truth?

No.

I got crackers in my room.

Good.

Oh, hello!

- Come right in,
- councilwoman.

- Was that one of
- your lovely girls

- I passed
- on the stairs?

Well, that depends.

What did she say?

Just hello.

Oh, then she's mine.

- And this is
- her sister, Tia.

Hi.

Let me make your day.

Now, does this say,

"woman of the year" or what?

Well...

Don't you love the cuffs?

Well...

And doesn't the fabric

hang beautifully?

- Well...
- "Well" what?

- Well, don't get
- me wrong, Lisa.

- It's lovely, and you know i'm
- not an authority on fashion...

- Oh, here comes
- the big butt.

Mom!

In the sentence.

But... I've just come

from my new image consultant.

It's a reelection year.

She's concerned

about the youth vote.

- She thinks
- I'm dressing too dowdy.

And you think

this looks too dowdy?

I was thinking about something

more like that.

I hope you mean the drapes.

Don't you think, Tia,

that I would look, um...

What do you young people say...

"phat" in that dress?

Now, um, councilwoman

now, this is a copy of something

that I made for Tina Turner.

Perfect.

We're about the same age.

Well, councilwoman, now,

as your dress designer, I...

Don't you worry.

When I accept that award

- I'll make sure the press knows
- you made my dress.

Oh, you don't have to do that.

I imagine you'll have

to let out the seams a tad.

Oh, yeah, a tad and a bit.

Oh, you can drop it off at my

office as soon as you're done.

I'm outtie, my sisters.

Mom, she's going to look

toe-up from the flo' up.

Why didn't you

tell her the truth?

Because I sent the

truth to the movies.

- Wait till
- you see the fairies.

They are so cute.

I've seen it twice.

Come on, baby.

- Have dinner
- with me tonight.

I'd love to, Todd

- but I already
- have plans.

- Well, I made
- reservations

At le petit cafe.

Really?

- I've been dying
- to go there.

- Well, then come
- with me.

Well, after the movie

let me make a call

- and move some
- things around.

Excuse me.

( Girls whispering

( and laughing )

Girl:

and there's this

kind of scary part

with Harvey keitel...

That was not scary.

- Now, lion king...
- That was scary.

Girl, those hyenas

must have scared them.

Do you mind,

siskel and ebert?!

Tamera:

Shh! The movie's starting.

- It's just
- the dancing popcorn.

Tamera:

That's my favorite part.

Oh, my gosh!

I've got to go.

Thanks. I thought

you wanted to see

this movie.

Boy:

Hey, get down

in front!

They already are.

Well... I did it.

Councilwoman Hicks

is now the proud owner

of the world's only

size-18 minidress.

So, how did she

look in it?

I didn't have the guts

to see her put it on

but she was so pleased

she did invite me to dinner

before the awards tonight.

Well, are you going to go?

You bet I am!

It's at le petit cafe.

- That's the place
- to see and be seen.

So far the only place

I've been seen

is standing outside.

Whew!

You guys will not believe

the sick, disgusting thing

I saw at the movies today.

I thought it was rated p.G.

Oh, the movie was p.G.

The audience was "r."

Vivica was there

- and she was all
- up on some man!

- I tell you,
- I haven't seen

- A lip-lock
- like that since...

I've never seen

a lip-lock like that.

What are you babbling about?

- Vivica
- is two-timing my dad!

Whoa, wait a minute.

- Are you sure
- it was her?

Maybe it was somebody

that looked like her.

Right. Maybe she has

an identical twin sister

she doesn't know about.

Like that could ever...

It was her, okay?!

Calm down, tamera.

Now, calm down.

Calm down? Calm down?

That hootchy is

playing tonsil hockey

behind my dad's back!

Now... now, honey

now, we all know how

you feel about vivica

- but sometimes we want
- to believe something so badly

We see what we want to see.

Like councilwoman Hicks...

- Now, she looks
- in the mirror

She sees Tina Turner

not her big thighs

rolling down the river.

- You think I wanted
- to see my dad

Being played like that

by that vivica?

Do you know how much

that will hurt him?

I'm the one that's got

to tell him the truth.

Now, tamera, before you

even talk to your dad

now, you better make

sure of what you saw.

Oh, I'm sure.

I'm just not sure

I'm going to tell my dad.

Oh, man.

Hello.

Oh, hi, sweetie.

Oh, just nothing.

Just sitting here putting

a picture of us in a frame.

Oh, no.

You want me to bring over

some soup or something?

You sure?

Okay. I had a little

something special planned

but we can do it another night.

Well, feel better, dumpling.

Bye-bye.

Hey, dad.

Hey.

You busy?

No. Just putting a picture

of me and vivica

in a frame.

Well, uh, before you slide

the back into place

we need to talk.

What's up?

- Okay. Well, dad,
- I know you think

That I don't like vivica

and that I hate that

you guys are together and...

And that's true, but...

That has nothing to do

with what I'm about to say.

Okay...

And I know you think

that I feel threatened

and neglected and...

That's true, too, but...

This has nothing to do

with what I'm about

to say either.

What does it have to do with?

I saw vivica kissing a man

at the movies today.

Oh, no.

This is so upsetting.

Dad, I know... i'm-i'm...

I know it hurts. I'm sorry.

Yes, it does.

Why would you tell me something

we both know isn't true?

Dad, I saw her!

Tamara, vivica is at home,

sick with the flu.

She's been in bed all day.

She has?

Yes, she has.

Oh, but...

But, dad, it looked

just like her.

You know I wouldn't

lie about this.

- Yeah, I know
- you wouldn't.

Well... Lisa said I-I saw

because I wanted to

but there are

a whole lot of things

I'd rather see than that.

You know what?

I think it would

do us both some good

if we spent a little

time together.

Sure would, dad.

All right.

What do you say to a

fancy dinner tonight?

Just the two of us?

Hey, guys!

What's for dinner?

- What do you say
- to a fancy dinner?

Just the three of us?

Sounds great, dad.

Okay.

Where are we going?

- To the best
- restaurant in town.

Potato mountain?

Okay, the

second-best

restaurant...

Le petit cafe.

Tamera:

Wow. This place is great.

Your waitress will be

with you in a moment.

But if you need anything,

just let me know.

I could use a haircut.

Well, enjoy your dinner, sir.

Hi.

Reservations for two

under Todd Wyatt.

Oh, dear.

I dropped my menu, Tia.

Oh, dear, you dropped

your menu, too, Tia!

Tamera!

Come down!

What?!

Tia, look over

at the hostess stand

- and tell me
- what you see.

It's vivica.

Girls, would you

get off the floor?

- This isn't
- potato mountain.

Oh, um, I thought

I saw a quarter.

She was wrong.

Okay, dad, stay calm

and look over at the woman

at the hostess stand.

Hoo! You're right.

Must be the old spice.

What?

- You know,
- I feel guilty being here

- With vivica homesick,
- all alone.

Maybe I should call

and see how she is.

Oh, good idea.

After all, she's home all alone.

Okay. Excuse me.

Tamera! Now she's

over there!

We can't

let her see us.

- Hey, honey,
- I'm sorry, I'm late.

Don't tell me...

Show me.

That's the guy at the theater!

That's the lip-lock!

I really don't think we should

get in the middle of this.

I don't either.

Dad's got to find out

for himself.

Okay, so, uh, what's your plan?

Dad's got to find out

for himself.

- Oh.
- Oh.

So, uh, ray...

How's... vivica?

I got her machine.

The poor thing

probably can't talk.

- Well, that's
- for sure.

Dad?

Hmm?

Let's switch seats.

Why?

The light's too dim over here.

I can't read my menu.

Okay.

Look, ray.

Is that who I think

it is over there?

Yes, it is.

That's councilwoman Hicks.

It is?!

It is?!

Aw, come on!

Well, Lisa...

What do you think?

Well...

- Oh, look
- who's here!

Ray and the girls.

- Hi, ray.
- Hi, girls.

- Funny seeing
- you here.

Uh, Todd, you know

this place is

awfully noisy.

Why don't we go

somewhere else?

What?

Ray Campbell, meet

councilwoman hips...

I mean, Hicks.

Uh, uh...

Charmed.

And you've met

Tia and tamera.

Oh!

There's vivica!

- Vivica, girl,
- over here!

Hi, ray.

I...

I was feeling better

so I hurried here

to see you.

- Mm-hmm.
- Really?

Hey, baby, aren't you

going to introduce me

to your friends?

Well, I guess I see

how you caught the flu.

- Lisa, let's
- take our seats.

- I can't afford
- to be seen

In the middle

of a scandal.

Whoo!

Should have never

put on that dress.

Who is this guy?

I'll tell you who I am.

I'm ray Campbell...

The man who used to date vivica.

Ray, can't we talk

about this?

Oh, you want to talk more?

Sure. Let's talk

about how it feels

to date a lying,

two-timing user.

Come on, Todd.

"Come on" where?

I don't date lying,

two-timing users either.

- Thanks for
- the tip, bro.

No problem.

Todd! Honey! Please!

Oh!

All right, dad!

- You kicked her
- to the curb.

- And across
- the street

- And over to
- the other curb.

Is there

something

wrong, sir?

No. Everything

is fine now.

We're about to enjoy

a nice meal together

and the service has been great

and the atmosphere

just got a lot better.

I'm... happy to hear that, sir.

Could you tell me

- what's going on
- over there?

Well, what you just saw

was the truth coming out

- and there's just
- a little bit more left.

Oh?

Oh, ma'am, I should have

told you this sooner:

Councilwoman, you are

a lovely, middle-aged lady

but you are not Tina Turner.

The suit I made

will look lovely on you.

We have just enough time

to get it before the ceremony.

But if you wear that

- you won't be
- "woman of the year"

You'll be "woman with the rear."

I hope you're not mad.

'Course I'm mad.

Why didn't you

tell me sooner?

Well, I didn't want

to hurt your feelings.

Hurt my feelings?

Lisa, I'm a politician.

- Last time the bus drivers
- went on strike

The hung me in effigy

and set me on fire.

- Now let's go
- get that outfit.

Ray, get me

some scampi to go.

So, are you okay, dad?

No. And I won't be

until I give you

the apology you deserve.

Dad...

No, let me finish.

Vivica had us all fooled,

except you.

- You even tried
- to warn me again

- This afternoon,
- but I just wouldn't listen.

Dad, don't feel bad.

She was pretty convincing.

Mr. Campbell,

if you ever

have trouble

getting reservations

- please feel free
- to call me...

Thank you.

At home.

You dog!

You dog!

- Not only will your classmates
- make fun of you

But 20 year later...

The second-best

restaurant in town...

Le petit...

Lur?

- Lur... le petit,
- le petit.

- Last time the bus drivers
- went on strike

- The burned me in effigy
- and hung me on fire.

I messed that up.

You know, I feel guilty

- about being here
- with vivica all at home...

All alone at a home.

Don't you start.

Home alone!