Sister, Sister (1994–1999): Season 5, Episode 7 - A Friend in Deed - full transcript

Guess who's coming

to book 'em, Joe

- -for a book signing.
- -A celebrity?

- -Mm-hmm.
- -Who, who, who?

Kirk Franklin! He's coming

to sign his new cd.

Tia, that is so cool!

- You're practically friends
- with kirk Franklin!

- Which means I'm practically
- friends with kirk Franklin.

-We're all friends up in here!

-Tamera, I am not his friend.



- It's just, you know,
- part of my job. No big deal.

Big deal, Tia.

- You could be photographed
- with kirk Franklin.

- Then your picture ends up
- in people.

A famous producer sees you.

You're whisked to Hollywood,

where you sign a deal

to have your own sitcom!

-We could be famous!

-Tamera, stop the madness!

- Getting excited
- about a celebrity

Is so junior high.

Oh. You're right.

Maybe I was a little crazy.



It happens.

Um.

Uh, um...

- Ladies and gentlemen
- of the academy.

Whoo! Oh, my gosh,

this is so heavy. Um.

Um... oh, my goodness.

Um, I'd like to, um,

thank my... my... my parents,

um, my agents

and all the little people

who got me here. Um...

Thank you, thank you!

Oh. Thank you!

You forgot to thank me.

♪ Sister, sister

sister sister ♪

♪ I got my own mind I do

my own style in my own time ♪

♪ and now everybody sees

how different ♪

- ♪ even though I'm glad to be
- with you ♪

- ♪ I got to feel
- what's real for me ♪

♪ Like you got to do

what's right for you ♪

♪ Sister, sister

oh, sister, sister... ♪

- People,
- if we don't find a way

To sell all these tickets,

the band won't go to state.

- What? Is there a problem
- with the raffle?

Let me put it this way.

You see, sales are so low,

- the only person going to state
- is the bus driver.

- You only came up
- with the lamest fundraising idea

- In the history
- of Roosevelt high.

You've let down

the entire school.

Oh, come on, guys.

- I'm sure there's a way
- we can make this raffle work.

- What we need is a gimmick.
- You know, like somebody

- Who is somebody
- to pull the winning ticket.

- Oh, you need a celebrity?
- Well, I got the hookup.

Who is it this time?

Cousin urkel or uncle ice cube?

This time I'm not lying.

- It's my third cousin
- on my aunt Betty's side.

Batman, from the group immature.

Mm-hmm, and my sister

is TV's tootie.

- Face it, none of us know
- any celebrities.

- Oh, but we will, real soon.
- You know, after tamera's tarred

- And feathered
- on the football field.

- Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Wa...
- Wait a minute, y'all.

We don't have to go there.

I can get a celebrity.

- Tamera,
- your father's limo commercial

On cable does not make him

a celebrity.

I'm not talking about my dad.

- I'm talking
- about a real celebrity.

Like who?

-Like... kirk Franklin.

-For real? You know him?

Tia does.

Um... he's going to be

at book 'em, Joe.

- You see, Tia can get him
- to come in

- And pull the winning
- raffle ticket like that.

- -What? No lie?
- Snap!

If... if kirk Franklin shows up,

we'll sell all these tickets.

Tamera, because of you,

this is going to be the bomb!

Oh, gosh, no.

We're all the bomb.

-Hey, tamera.

- How you gonna get Tia
- to hook you up

-with kirk Franklin?

I have no idea.

- -Hello, Lisa.
- -Hey, ray. Oh, vivica called.

- She wants you to go with her
- to the Donna karan fashion show

-at saks on Sunday.

-Oh, that's so nice,

- but come Sunday I'm going to be
- at the lions game

- Sitting on the 50-yard line,
- holding a beer.

- Ray, come Sunday you're gonna be
- at saks sitting outside

- The dressing room
- holding vivica's purse.

-What makes you say that?

-Well, I've seen you with her,

and... uh,

how can I put this delicately?

I can't. She got you whipped.

I am not whipped.

Who watered her plants

at the crack of dawn?

Well, she was out of town.

- Who picked up her stuff
- from the drugstore last week?

- Well, she was busy.
- You know, she had...

Whipped!

I'll bet you a 100 dollars

- that you end up
- at that fashion show.

Well, you're on, missy miss.

Because I want you to know,

I am my own man.

I do what I want to do

when I want to do it.

- And right now,
- I have something I want to do.

- Yeah, vivica mentioned
- that she's expecting you

- At 4:00 to clean out
- her gutters.

- Oh, good, because that's what
- I want to do.

-Hi, sis.

-Hey, tamera.

Tia, I really love

that sweater you're wearing.

What do you want?

- I'm just trying to establish
- some love in the room.

Well, I feel the love, okay?

Good, because, um...

I told, uh, everyone

you could get kirk Franklin

- to pull the winning
- raffle ticket at school.

What? Tamera, are you crazy?

- -I can't do that.
- -But, Tia, I promised everybody

I would get kirk Franklin.

- If I don't,
- they'll think I'm a liar.

You are a liar.

Yeah, but I don't want

everybody to know it.

- -Oh, my gosh!
- -Look, Tia, if they find out,

- I'll never be able to show
- my face at school again.

Oh, they won't miss it,

- 'cause my face
- will still be there.

- But, Tia, if the band doesn't go
- to state, it'll be all my fault!

- Tamera, what do you want
- me to do, huh?

Stroll over to kirk Franklin

and say, "yo, kirk, uh,

how about saving my sister

- from being the joke
- of the school"?

- That works. But, um,
- you might want to drop, uh,

-something about the raffle.

-Not going to happen.

Oh, Tia, please! Please?

- Please, please, please,
- please, please, please.

Remember the womb?

Oh, no, tamera,

not the womb again.

You know, you're going to do it.

- Not unless you get out
- of my face.

- Tia, you're really starting
- to suck

The love out of the room here.

Thank you.

Hey, hey, hey, hey...

Where are you going?

- Clark, I was going to see
- if Mr. Franklin

-wanted a smoothie.

-Oh. Trying to be slick, uh?

Breaching security.

- If he wants a smoothie,
- I'll get him a smoothie.

- I'm the one in charge
- of celebrity-smoothie relations.

Now get over there by that door.

- I saw a girl with afro-puffs
- trying to sneak in.

- -But, Clark, i... i...
- -get ba... get... get... g...

Roger! Can you see if Tia

is talking to kirk Franklin?

Nope. Man, the crowd

wasn't anything like this

for kool moe Dee.

Hey, Clark, the afro-puff crisis

is under control.

- -So, now can I meet him?
- -Oh, too late. He's out of here.

- -What?
- -Back away from the celebrity.

- Keep your hands in view
- at all times.

Wait! Wait! Mr. Franklin! Kirk!

- Tia,
- stop stalking the celebrity.

- Now get behind that counter
- and start serving

Those kirkaccinos.

Well?

Say something.

-Kirkaccino?

-Hmm, that sounds good.

Ooh! This is great!

Makes me want to stomp!

- Will you be quiet
- and let the girl tell us

- What time kirk's coming
- to school?

He's not, tamera.

I never even got near him.

Tia! What am I supposed to do?

- Look, tamera,
- just don't worry, okay?

- I mean, you only made
- one little comment

- In the meeting.
- Who's going to remember that?

Hey, you guys, check it out,

- a special edition
- of the school paper

-for tomorrow's fundraiser.

-"Surprise celebrity at raffle."

- It's going to be a surprise,
- all right.

- Why doesn't it say
- kirk Franklin?

Oh, that old printing press

at school. It has a broken k.

Yeah, and nobody would pay

to see, ir franlin.

No, but this is even better.

- People are buying these tickets,
- like crazy.

- Just to see what celebrity
- is going to show up.

- I'm saying, girl.
- This raffle is blowing up

- And it's all because of you,
- tamera.

And I'm going to make sure

everybody knows it. Later.

Well, tamera, made front page.

- I know what the next headline's
- going to say,

"angry students ill tamera."

So...

- out of the goodness
- of her heart,

- Tia tried to get kirk Franklin
- but she couldn't.

It's not her fault.

It's all on me.

So, basically, I lied.

And that's the truth.

- We're all gonna look
- like idiots.

The whole school's gonna show up

- expecting a surprise
- celebrity guest,

And the surprise is,

we have no one.

Well, all it takes

is one phone call

from aunt Betty and bam!

Cousin Batman to the rescue.

- Roger, can you really hook us up
- with immature?

Did you hear me say, bam?

- Well, why you just
- sitting there, boy? Go call!

Oh! So, now you believe me.

No more, "shut up, Roger."

"Go home, Roger."

Now it's, "we need you, Roger."

"You're the man, Roger."

Nobody said, you're the man.

Oh! Well, then let me

sit back down.

You're the man.

Oh! I didn't hear everybody.

You're the man.

Oh, please.

You're embarrassing me.

- Well, we're gonna be
- killing you

- If you don't make
- that phone call.

See?

My raffle idea

- is coming together
- like clockwork.

And you guys were worried.

-What?

-Hey, Ms. Landry.

- Oh, Roger, did those girls
- send you in here

To get their snacks again?

- Uh-huh. They sent me in here
- to save the day.

'Cause I'm the man.

Have you been talking to ray?

- Hey, aunt Betty.
- How's the weather in L.A.?

- I know you're not calling
- long-distance on my phone.

Yeah, it's Roger. How's Batman?

Uh. Roger Evans, your nephew.

You know, three times removed?

- If she don't know you by now,
- hang up.

This is costing me money.

Yeah, that's right. Jimmy's son.

Uh. Yeah, check it out.

Two friends of mine lied

and promised their school

- that they can get a celebrity
- for their raffle.

- So, I need you to hook me up
- with Batman.

Oh. He's on the road

with immature?

- Well, don't you have
- a bat-signal or something?

Oh. Nice talking to you, too.

Uh, Evans. Roger Evans.

- Uh. Roger, sounds like
- you could use some sound advice

- From somebody
- who is older and wiser.

Yes, ma'am, I could.

- Well, here's your advice.
- Next time,

- You call long-distance
- on my phone, you call collect.

My initials are not m.C.I.

- -Well?
- -Sorry.

Batman's on tour with immature.

Dang!

God! You guys, we gotta find

somebody by tomorrow night.

- -I know!
- -Shoot. At this point,

- I'm so desperate,
- I'm about ready

- To take a blow dryer
- and a pressing comb

- To Roger and pass him off
- as Batman.

- -Yeah, like that would work.
- -Well, it's either that,

- Or we stand
- in front of the whole school

And tell 'em it was all a lie.

- Well, you know, if you squint
- with one eye

And don't look out of the other.

- Brother does kind of look
- like Batman.

We're number one!

We're number one!

We're number one!

We're number one! Hey! Hey! Hey!

- Ray Campbell, are you telling me
- that you went to the lions game?

Yes, I am! Yes, I am!

And I am still the man.

-Mm-hmm.

Oh. Mustard stain

from a Detroit dog.

- -Interesting.
- -Yeah, and it was good, too.

-Oh!

Hold up, Mr. Macho.

- I seem to detect
- a rather delicate odor.

- One not quite indigenous
- to the Pontiac silverdome.

-Uh. What are you talking about?

Oh, I got it! It's vanilla musk.

Um. I can explain. It's me.

- I... I wanted
- to try something different.

I'm all about vanilla musk.

- Ray Campbell, you know,
- you went to that fashion show.

Only for an hour.

- And then I went over
- to the lions game

For the second half.

Oh, well, I'm impressed.

You supported your woman

- and still you managed to do
- what you wanted to do.

- Guess that means
- I am not whipped.

Yes, it does.

And I don't owe you 100 dollars.

- No, you don't.
- You only owe me 50,

'cause you still half-whipped.

- I'd love to stay
- and argue the point,

- But I have to get ready
- to go to the airport

- For a pickup.
- These immature kids

- -are coming in.
- -Oh, ray,

- You don't even know them kids.
- Don't be calling them names.

They are a singing group.

Immature is their name.

Immature! Oh, Tia and tamera

- have been trying to get them
- for their school raffle.

- Oh, we have just enough time
- to pick them up at the airport

- And save our girls
- from public humiliation.

What are you talking about?

- I'll tell you all about it
- in the car.

- See, Roger's aunt Betty,
- she's in L.A. but... come on...

- -I gotta get...
- -come on!

- Now, remember, Roger,
- yell a lot

- And end with,
- "you know what I'm saying?"

- -And do it in a low, sexy voice.
- -Okay.

Check this out.

♪ East side, West Side

Detroit side ♪

- We're going to have
- to change schools.

- We're going to have
- to change our names.

- -How about Lia and lamera?
- -Mm-hmm.

Chill, lamera.

Now, listen, Roger.

- When you hear
- tamera introduce Batman,

- You run onstage, pull the ticket
- and run off.

-Run, pull, run. Got it?

-Yeah. Pull, run, run. Got it.

Wait, hold it, you guys.

- -He still doesn't look right.
- -I know.

Undo your top buttons.

A t-shirt?

Batman does not wear a t-shirt.

I felt a chill.

- Get in there and change it.
- Make it fast.

-I don't know.

- Guys, we need you onstage.
- Hurry up.

Okay, you guys, this is it.

Let's go.

Dead girls walking.

- Batman, you are so sweet
- to come down here

- -and pull the winning ticket.
- -Well, how could I say no?

- You wouldn't let me
- out of the limo.

Well, you're out now.

- And I want you to know, my girls
- are going to appreciate this

So much.

- Well, I'm always down
- for helping out a school.

- So, uh,
- where's the star dressing room

You were telling me about?

-Right there.

-Cool. I've been in worse.

- -Where's Batman?
- -Oh.

He's in the boys' dressing room.

- -Did you find Tia and tamera?
- -Uh. Not yet.

- Beth thinks
- they're in the band room.

- Oh, great. I can't wait
- to tell them the good news.

Cuz!

- Man, I knew aunt Betty
- would come through. What up?

-Who are you?

-Roger. Roger Evans.

Oh, Jimmy's son.

Man, I heard you were in juvie.

- No, no, no, no.
- That's Charlie's son.

- Man, let me tell you,
- that I truly enjoy your music.

- -And as a musician myself...
- -squash it, cuz.

Why you all g'd up like me?

- 'Cause the music department
- was in trouble.

- I know. Lisa and her chauffeur
- clued me.

- -That's why I'm here.
- -Man.

- This is the first time
- I ever had a prayer answered.

Thanks, bro.

- So, uh, you were going to go out
- onstage as me?

Uh-huh.

- Man, are you tripping?
- You don't look nothing like me.

Who are you telling?

I look better.

It's about time. Let's go.

- Wait. Why did you
- change your clothes?

That is so UN-Batman.

- Man, this gear is on point.
- And I am Batman.

- That's right.
- Keep believing that.

Yeah.

Oh. Now that is what I call

a funky shirt.

Thanks, Ms. Landry.

Ms. Landry? Oh, you know,

you can call me Lisa.

-I can? Cool, Lisa.

And let me just say again

- how happy I am
- that you're doing this.

- So you're not still mad
- about the long distance

- -phone call?
- -Oh, no, I'm not...

Long-distance?

Roger?

Yes, Lisa.

- Don't you call me Lisa.
- Boy, get out of my way.

What is wrong with you?

Where is... where is Batman?

- -I guess he's out onstage.
- -Well, what are we standing

- Around here for?
- Come on, let's go!

- And what'd you do to your hair,
- child?

- I know you didn't use
- my blow dryer. Get in!

And now, the moment

you've been waiting for.

Our mystery guest.

But, uh... uh, just so you know,

he... he has a very bad toothache

so, uh, he won't be saying much.

- In fact, he won't be saying
- anything at all.

So, uh, let's give it up

for Batman from immature!

- Yo, what's up?
- How y'all feeling,

Roosevelt high?

Roosevelt high is fine.

Just pull the ticket and leave.

-How's it going?

- Something's wrong
- with the girls.

- -What?
- -Well, they're treating

Batman like he's...

- Bat...
- Man!

Roger?

- -Bat...
- Man!

- -Bat...
- Man!

When I say shut, you say up.

- -Shut...
- -Up.

- -Shut...
- -Up.

Are y'all ready to party?

- Tia. The fool's going to try
- and sing.

-We got to stop him.

-But how?

- By doing what I should have done
- in the first place.

Tell the truth.

Batman's in the house.

Batman's in the house!

Come on, now say,

Batman's in the...

Everybody, listen!

Batman's in the house!

Quiet in the house!

Quiet in the house!

Um.

- There's something
- you all should know.

I was so worried about letting

everybody down that...

I was willing to do anything

to make this raffle work.

Even lie.

Hold up, tamera!

Don't say any more!

Shut up, Roger.

Roger?

Wait a minute.

If he's Roger...

Then who are you?

I'm Batman.

- Tamera and Tia have been
- way too modest, you guys.

- If it weren't for these two,
- I wouldn't be here tonight.

- So, let's show them some love.
- Come on, everybody!

- And, now, I have a couple
- of more mystery guests

- For you guys. Before I pull
- the winning ticket.

- I want y'all to give it up
- for the fellas!

L.d.b. And Romeo!

Immature's in the house!

♪ 'Cause every day I'm away

from you I feel so bad... ♪

♪ I just don't want to wait

till tomorrow... ♪

- Dad, Lisa,
- I don't know how you did it,

- But thanks for saving
- our butts again.

- I just hope your lying days
- are over.

- Hmm. That's right.
- 'Cause I have just kidnapped

-my last celebrity.

- He may be family,
- but I don't get it.

What do girls see in cuz?

♪ ...ooh, ooh, ooh, baby

ooh, ooh ♪

A famous producer sees you,

you're whisked to hollyde...

-hollydeal?

- -No.
- -Sorry. One not quite indigenous

To the s...

We're deflated.

I'm all about the vamidle...

Vamimum...

Vilam...

- -I'm all about the m...
- -i think...

stalking for my sister.

See, kirk... I mean, Clark.

Kirk's not your name.

Clark. I'm sorry.