Sister, Sister (1994–1999): Season 5, Episode 12 - In Sickness and in Health - full transcript

- Morning, dad.
- Morning.

- Morning.
- What's all this?

You girls fixing breakfast?

- All right, how much money
- do you need?

Ray, it's not about money.

It's about aunt Darcy.

She called, and, um

I invited her to come

by this afternoon.

You invited the "d" word?

- Whoo!
- Does Lisa know about this?



No. That's why I'm making

my mom pancakes.

- Yeah, we figured
- it'll be easier

- To break the news to her
- between bites.

- Yeah. Maybe she'll eat
- enough of them

So she won't be able

to chase you upstairs.

- Oh, come on, ray!
- You don't think tamera and I

- Can get mom and aunt Darcy
- back together?

Let me put it to you

another way.

- I think I'll have
- my juice to go.

Now, I knew I turned

this thing on last night.



Oh, man, it's broke.

I'm not going to pay

another repair man $100

- just so it'll break down again,
- and he'll be back in 90 days.

- Dad, please tell me
- you're not going to try

And fix that thing yourself.

And why, may I ask, not?

Because now, every time we

turn on the blender you fixed,

the garage door opens.

Not if you don't push frappe.

♪ I do my own style

in my own time ♪

♪ how different

we have come to be ♪

♪ even though I'm glad

to be with you ♪

♪ I got to feel

what's real for me ♪

♪ like you got to do

what's right for you ♪

Lisa: Mornin', y'all.

All: Morning.

I just got

the easiest job of my life.

I am designing the dress

for Toni Braxton's

next magazine cover.

- Wasn't she nude
- on her last magazine cover?

That's why it's

such an easy job.

I tell you, nothing is going

- to wipe this smile
- off my face today.

Mom, now, I know

- how important
- family is to you.

It sure is, sweetie.

- That's why I
- invited aunt Darcy

To come over today.

You'd better be lying.

It was tamera's idea.

Pancakes?

Probably some bolt

that just needs to be tightened.

- Now, Tia, you know I don't want
- that woman in this house.

- I know, mom,
- but she sounded

So nice on the phone

- and she really
- wants to see you.

Uh-huh. She wants something.

Looks like all I need

is a Phillips head screwdriver.

Mom, now, how do you know

aunt Darcy wants something?

'Cause I know Darcy.

- She's the spoiled little baby
- of the family

- And somebody has always
- taken care of her.

- First it was mom and daddy,
- then it was me

- Then it was her husband,
- then it was me

Then it was her second husband

- then the guy she left
- her second husband for

- Then it was me all over again.
- I know that Darcy.

Poor aunt Darcy.

- Sounds like she had
- a pretty hard life.

- You see?
- She's not even here

- And you're feeling
- sorry for her.

This job will take

two hours tops.

Well, I'll be working

at my studio all day.

- The only way
- to deal with Darcy

- Is not to deal
- with her at all.

Wait, ma. I told her

you'd be here.

Then you can deal

with that.

Man, I should have known

this was gonna get messy.

- Oh, nonsense. I'll just put
- some paper down

And mop up afterwards.

- I hope he wasn't talking
- about aunt Darcy.

Guys, aunt Darcy

will be here any minute.

- Will you stop walking around
- like brooding cats?

- I'm not brooding.
- Are you brooding, dog?

No. Real men don't brood.

Why can't we go

to the movies?

Because since mom

won't see aunt Darcy

- you guys gotta help us
- make her feel welcome.

- Ain't that what
- doormats are for?

Hey, come on, guys,

look, it'll be easy.

- You can serve
- the deviled eggs.

- And, Jordan, you
- serve the tea.

Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa.

- I'm not down
- with that Suzy homemaker vibe.

Tia, these hands...

They work on limo engines.

- They're not
- for serving eggs.

- Well, those hands will
- be holding each other

- When you're alone
- at the movies tonight.

Why you got to go there?

Because it works.

And, look, what else have

you guys got to do, huh?

Nothing.

- You girls seen
- my stillson wrench?

- A stillson wrench?
- What are you up to, ray?

Anything we can help you with?

- No, I'm just pulling the
- pump from the dishwasher.

- You don't want to
- mess up your good clothes.

No, no, these are my

grass-cutting clothes, man.

Mm-hmm. Yeah, I'm all

about pump pulling.

All right. Suit yourself.

- Uh-uh.
- Wait a minute.

Hold up. What

about aunt Darcy?

Well, uh... well,

you heard the man.

- He was practically begging
- us for help.

Hang on, ray! We're coming.

She's here, Tia.

Shoot. Okay, tamera, then

I guess it's up to us. Go.

Aunt Darcy!

Tia, now, I'd know that

adorable smile anywhere.

- Uh, thanks,
- but I'm tamera.

Of course you are,

and I'm your aunt Darcy.

Once removed. I mean,

your step... aunt-in-law...

- Darlin', I don't
- know who I am.

- Let me hug
- you again.

Tia, look at you.

You have grown into...

Two beautiful women.

Speaking of beautiful women,

- where is
- that big sister of mine?

Uh, you haven't met

- tamera's dad, ray,
- have you?

He is really nice.

- Yeah, um, he's
- in the kitchen

- With our boyfriends.
- Yeah.

Hold on. If the men

are in the kitchen

what are we doing out here?

Ooh, there it is.

- Here's the,
- uh, the thing.

- That thing
- right here.

How's it going, ray?

Guys.

What's happening?

- Oh, y'all
- scared me, man.

- I didn't even
- see y'all.

Okay. Well, this

is our aunt Darcy.

Oh, please.

To men this gorgeous,

I'm just plain Darcy.

Well, then, i'm

just plain ole Jordan.

Hardly.

And you are?

Uh, I am tyreke.

And you two are very good

at choosing boyfriends.

Thanks.

You know, we just...

Well... I'm all right.

And this nubian prince

must be ray Campbell.

Aha, guilty.

Lisa never mentioned you

were so manly and rugged.

- Well, I... I try
- not to flaunt it.

- Hey, um, aunt Darcy,
- we're going

- To go see
- if we can find mom.

How about I come with you

- and we can surprise her?
- Both: No.

Um... Lisa

likes to know

when her surprises

are coming.

- Y-Yeah.
- Y-Yeah. Um...

- You wait here
- and we'll be right back.

Hopefully.

Okay, I'll just sit here

and watch the men... work.

Forget it. I am not

going downstairs

- to see miss
- prissy pants.

- Bet she's got those men
- eating our of her hands, right?

- No.
- No.

Ray, would I be

too much in your way

- if I got myself
- a little glass of water?

My throat is a tad dry.

- You just sit down.
- I'll get it.

Oh, you know what?

I'm by the sink.

- No, no. You're
- helping ray.

- Let me...
- She asked me.

Boys, I don't want anyone

going to any trouble over me.

- Oh, no.
- That's cool.

- 'Cause I had
- the glass first.

- There's two seats.
- Take them.

Ray: Stand back!

Mom, she's really

sweet and nice.

Mm-hmm. So's a pit bull puppy

before it takes a bite

out of your butt.

- Listen, maybe
- she's changed.

- The only thing that changes
- about that woman

Is her hair color.

- Why are you
- so mad at her?

I am not mad.

I'm tired.

- I am tired of being
- taken advantage of

- By my own sister.
- I feel more used

Than a porta potti

at the million man march.

Is it not possible

that all she wants

- is to see you?
- No.

- Well, couldn't you go
- down there and find out?

- No.
- Well, why not?

Because I can't say no.

- Whenever Darcy
- and I get together

Some switch comes on.

I go into big-sister mode

- and I just give her
- anything she wants.

It's like Darcy's got

some kinda spell over me.

- When we used to go
- trick-or-treating

I'd give her my candy.

- At Christmas, I gave her
- my easy bake oven.

And I cooked for her.

- Her first husband?
- My boyfriend.

- Not that I'd have
- ever married that fool.

- He was kind of
- good-looking, though.

Mom, that was

a long time ago.

Besides, she's

your sister, Lisa.

- I hate to think you're going
- to miss out on knowing her

- Just because you think
- you can't say no.

Yeah, it's easy.

We know you can do it.

We hear it all the time.

Just pretend it's us.

Come on, tamera.

I guess family isn't

as important to her

as she says it is.

Mmm, yeah.

- Well, you tell her I still
- want my blue sweater back

- That she borrowed
- in eighth grade.

Honestly, you men

just turn a girl's head

with all this attention.

Is this non-fat?

Whoops. Coming right up.

Uh, another

deviled egg, Darcy?

Well, excuse me.

Are those mechanic's hands

I see serving eggs?

And look,

Suzy homemaker is helping.

Uh...

Uh, well...

- Mm-hmm?
- We was just...

- Taking a break
- from our repair work.

- Taking a break
- from repair work.

Right. Well, let's

get back to work, men.

Let's roll.

So... tamera,

where is Lisa?

Um...

Well, she's, uh...

She's, uh...

She's right here.

There's my big sister.

Thanks, mom.

- I'm just here
- about my sweater.

Lisa, Lisa, Lisa.

Hello, Darcy.

How long has it been?

- I don't know. Six years,
- three months, 18 days.

Something like that.

We have got so much

catching up to do.

Get yourself a cup

- and let's have ourselves
- a little tea party

- Like when we were girls.
- Okay.

- While you're up, could you
- put a little honey in mine

- Like you used to?
- Oh, sure.

And don't forget,

a little tad of sugar.

Ah-ha-ha. Right.

And a squeeze of honey.

I remember.

- Nobody can make my tea
- like my big sister.

Well, I bet you could

if you tried.

Oh, no. It would not

taste the same.

Are those scones over there?

- Oh, they sure are.
- I'll get them for you.

No, no, don't bother.

- Lisa knows exactly
- how I like them.

- Warmed up, split
- down the middle

With a dollop of butter.

Coming right up.

Lisa, do you have

any homemade preserves?

- Well, no, but you give me a
- couple hours I can whip some up.

Ma, put down the knife

and back away

from the scone.

You don't need

to make it.

She's right, Lisa.

Forget about the scone.

- I don't want to spoil
- my appetite for dinner.

Oh, yeah! Dinner!

- Big sister's cooking's gonna
- put some meat on those bones.

- I know you gonna
- fix my favorite.

- Collard Greens?
- Oh! I will!

- Soon as I go to the
- market. Where my keys?

- Wait, wait. You know,
- we can send out for Chinese.

- Yeah, Lisa, you
- don't have to cook.

- Let her go.
- She loves waiting on me.

- She's been cooking for me
- ever since we were kids.

You mean, since your

easy bake oven?

That's right.

That oven was

- the best present
- I ever got from Santa.

Wait a minute.

Santa sent me

that easy bake oven

- and like a fool,
- I gave it to you.

Whatever, Lisa.

That was such a long time ago.

Yes, it was. And I

don't want to go back.

What are you trying to say?

Darcy, the kitchen

is closed.

- After all these years
- of being used by you

I have finally decided

to say no.

- So whatever it is
- you came for this time,

The answer is no.

Actually, Lisa, I just wanted

to stay for a few days.

No!

Ooh, I like the sound of that.

No! No! No!

Fine.

I've never been one

to wear out my welcome.

- Except that time
- you stayed with me

For eight months,

rent free.

Before I go, the only reason

I came here today

was to let you know I...

I'm having surgery tomorrow.

Oh, well, really?

I hope it's nothing serious.

Sissy, I'm going

under the knife.

Oh, baby, what is it?

- Lisa, it's my third surgery
- and the doctors...

- They think they've got it all
- but it keeps coming back

And they say this

is my last chance.

Oh, you poor

little thing.

Darcy, where is it?

I'd rather not say.

Oh...

Oh, no. Now, you get back over

here and you pour her some tea.

- Oh, don't you
- worry, baby.

- Big sister is
- here for you

- And anything
- you want

- The answer is
- yes, yes, yes...

- Tia: Did we get everything
- aunt Darcy wanted?

- Mm-hmm. You know
- what, tamera?

As sad as it is

about aunt Darcy

I really feel good

- about getting her
- and mom back together.

Me, too.

- At least they'll be able
- to spend some time together

Before... you know...

It's too late.

- So how's
- Darcy Landry doing?

- Still no change,
- I'm afraid, doctor.

That woman is still a

royal pain in the butt.

- I can't wait
- to get her in

Cut and get her out.

- I swear, you'd
- think the woman

Was having brain surgery

- instead
- of bunion surgery.

Bunion surgery?

Oh, Lisa.

I love your ring.

Oh, it's yours.

Thank you.

- Let me get you
- some water.

Hi.

So, aunt Darcy,

how you feeling?

Oh, I got my good minutes

and my bad minutes

but I'm hanging on.

- Oh, well, that's
- good to hear

- Because, um, I've
- been reading

Some very disturbing things

about hospitals

and patient care lately.

- You have?
- Mm-hmm.

Tell us about it, Tia.

Oh, no. I don't want to make

aunt Darcy nervous...

- But since
- you asked...

They say that you have

to be on top of them

every second...

Or else.

Or else what?

Well, studies show

on an average

that hospitals take out

the wrong thing

15% of the time.

And the other 85%...

It's just a stab

in the dark...

So to speak.

So to speak? What are you

talking about, so to speak?

You know what, tamera?

Maybe we should just have

a little look-see at your chart.

- Girls, put that down. That's
- for doctor's eyes only.

Oh, not to worry.

Everything's fine here.

- Really?
- Oh, it just, you know,

Looks like a simple

by-the-book brain surgery.

Brain surgery?

Baby, I didn't know

it was your brain!

- It's not!
- I'm not having brain surgery.

- Oh, denial.
- Tsk, tsk, tsk.

This is so sad.

It's not sad.

I'm just in here

for bunion surgery.

Bunion surgery?!

Is that what you said?

Now, Lisa, I can explain.

Mom, mom, she's delirious.

Look, it says right here,

"brain surgery."

See?

Oh, so it does!

- Well, there's been
- a big mistake.

- Oh, baby,
- you want a hug?

No, I want to see my doctor.

Nobody's opening my skull.

- And your hair
- was so pretty,

- But they're doing
- wonderful things

With wigs these days.

Let me see that chart.

- Oh, no, no! This is for
- doctor's eyes only.

- All right, we're ready
- for you, ma'am.

Good-bye, aunt Darcy.

Good-bye, aunt Darcy.

- I'm not going
- anywhere. Get off me.

Lisa, Lisa,

you got to help me.

I swear, I'm just in here

to have a bunion removed.

- I let you think
- it was more serious

- Because I needed you to take
- care of me when I got home.

Oh, really?

I'm sorry I lied.

- Just don't let them
- near my brain.

I'm only here about a bunion.

Darcy, I believe you.

- You do?
- Yes. It says so

- Here in your chart.
- What?

- While we are on the subject,
- how long did you think

- You could keep those bunions
- a secret?

Well, I figured once

the surgery was over

- and you saw how
- much pain I was in

- You'd take care of me
- like you always do.

Darcy, you're a grown woman.

- You got to take care
- of yourself.

You're right, Lisa,

and I promise I'll change.

- Well, I promise
- that I'll change, too.

Darcy, you're my sister,

- and I will be here
- when you need me

But you cannot need me

every time you see me.

So, after your surgery

- you can stay with me
- three days, and that's it.

Oh, that's great, Lisa,

- but since I broke up
- with my boyfriend

There's nobody to...

Two days!

Got it. Two days. Thank you.

You won't even know I'm there.

You do have down pillows?

- Take her.
- Take her, please.

Ooh, you're so strong.

Thank you, ma'am.

Call me Darcy.

- Oh, wait a minute. Wait
- a minute. Wait a minute.

- Give me back
- my ring.

Take her.

You know what, mom?

- I have to give you
- your props.

Mm-hmm.

After all she did

you still got

your sister's back.

You are so nice, Lisa.

I'm not as nice as you girls.

- She's staying in one
- of your bedrooms.

What?! Tia is the one

who invited her.

- Uh-uh. I just talked
- to her on the phone, tamera.

- Yeah, but it was your
- brilliant idea, Tia.

- Oh, oh, so now
- it's my idea?

Ah! Well, that's that.

You got the pump in?

Sure did.

- And you lined up
- the impeller

- With the boot connector
- to the wash arm

And not the drain hose?

Absolutely. Sure.

The boot connector.

Well, let's fire it up.

Let's go.

- Fan it with
- the book.

- Fan it!
- Fan it!

Fan it!

- Tyreke, do
- something!

Whoo!

Hey-hey!

That was water.

I seen water.

- Whoa!
- Whoa!

You can do it!

Hey... yes!

Oh, my gosh.

Oh, man.

What happened?

I don't know...

Shut it off! Shut it off!

Shut it off!

Oh, boy.

Napkin?

- It's going to take more
- than a napkin

To clean this mess up.

Just calm down, fellas.

We can handle this. We're men.

Jordan, bring me the phone.

I'm gonna call that repair guy

before the women find out.

Good idea. And

while you're at it

- you should see if
- he can fix furnaces.

- Because there's water running
- down into the heating vent.

- We don't need a repairman
- to fix the furnace.

We can do that.

I don't think so, ray.

Yeah. Water's one thing...

But fire can burn.

Oh, nonsense.

- I'm going into the garage
- to get my sump pump.

Somebody turn on the blender.

Okay, bigfoot. Car's

outside. Let's roll.

- Tamera's room
- is all ready for you.

- Come on, Tia,
- two out of three.

- Two out of three.
- No way.

Actually, Lisa,

I've decided

not to impose on you.

What?

I thought a lot

- about what we talked about,
- and you're right.

It's time I became

an independent woman

- and stopped relying
- on other people

To take care of me.

Well, listen to my baby sister

sounding all grown up.

Ready to roll, Darcy?

Yes, I am, Kelvin.

All: Kelvin?

Baby doll, my shift's over.

I can drive you home right now.

- Throw your arm
- around my neck.

And just lean on me.

Ooh, I will. I will.

Now, how long before i'm

able to climb a ladder

- and repair that
- leaky roof?

- Kelvin: No, no, no, you
- are gonna stay put in bed.

- I'll take care of that
- leaky roof for you.

Well, if you insist.

Bye, girls.

All: Bye.

How does she do that?

- Yeah, and more important,
- how can we learn?

- Girls, every woman
- has that ability.

It's like radar.

You just put out the vibe.

Hey, mom...

Can you do it?

Can I do it?

I invented it.

I'll see you later.

- Tamera, when we
- get a chance...

Uh-huh.

..Let's try our female vibe.

Female vibe? Okay.

Mm-hmm.

Okay.

Tia, Tia.

- Why y'all look
- so goofy?

- We need more practice.
- Yeah.

- Your girl crazier
- than mine.

- Tell me you're not gonna try to
- fix that thing yourself.

I'm going to try to say

this line. I really am.

So's a pet bull... pit...

A pit bull pe... puppy.

- At least they'll be able
- to spend some...

- Gosh, what is wrong
- with me?

- Aunt Darcy,
- she's been playing...

She's been...

What has she been doing?

So...