Sister, Sister (1994–1999): Season 4, Episode 5 - Sis Boom Bah - full transcript

Tia and Tamera's tryout for the cheerleading squad ends in humiliation.

Hey, Tia, smell me.

-Excuse me?

Go ahead, take a sniff.

What do you smell?

Uh, tamera,

this is going to sound crazy,

but you kind of smell

like a new car.

Bingo!

It's a new scent.

It's called, "carfume."



According to this ad

it's the one smell

boys can't resist.

-That's really stupid, tamera.

Quick! Put some on me!

More, more, more, more!

Yeah, yeah!

Both: Hi.

Tamera, it's working.

- Man, we got to subscribe
- to this magazine.

Tia: Go.

Hey, where are they going?

Ugh. We should

have known. Look.



Tamera: Cheerleaders.

They get all the cute guys.

Yeah, and they don't even

have to smell like a buick.

- Tia, look at those girls.
- What's the big deal?

- -So, they're popular.
- -And beautiful.

And never without a date.

- Who would want
- to be a cheerleader?

Both: Me.

♪ Talk about

a two-way twister ♪

♪ shakin' up the family tree

with sibling synchronicity ♪

- ♪ never knew
- how much I missed ya ♪

♪ I ain't ever gonna

let you go! ♪

♪ Never knew

how much I missed ya ♪

♪ I ain't ever gonna

let you go ♪

- Ooh, this is going
- to look so cute

On my cart at the mall.

"Fashions by Lisa,

free snacks to please-a."

I got to work on that.

Ooh, snack time!

-I smell popcorn.

-Congratulate me, ray.

- I'm going to pop
- my way to the top.

Hey, it's about time

you got a new line of work.

- I mean, that sad
- little cart at the mall

Was belly up from day one.

- I mean, like,
- who's going to say,

- "forget about
- that fancy boutique.

- I'm going to buy my new outfit
- from the pushcart lady."

What?

I haven't given up

on the cart, ray.

- I'm going to use
- popcorn as a gimmick

To attract new customers.

- According
- to little business magazine,

- Fresh popcorn is a smell
- that turns women on.

Really?

- Boy, that Orville reddenbacher
- must have been one happy bunny.

- I'm serious, ray.
- Now, I just got to make it.

- It's now or never.
- I'm not going to be 25 forever.

Nothing. I said nothing.

Both: Yay, mom!

♪ We're home, we're home

we're h-o-m-e, home ♪

♪ our room, our room

we're going to our room ♪

♪ the stairs, the stairs

we're gonna take the stairs ♪

Please tell me why

you're talking like you are.

Dad, cheerleading tryouts

start tomorrow.

- Yeah, we're going
- to go out for the squad.

Both: You are?

Why do you want

to be cheerleaders?

Oh, I get it. Boys.

Boys? Nah, no way.

We're doing it,

because we, uh...

Because we, uh...

Uh, need to.

Hey, looks really good to those

- all-girl colleges
- we're applying to.

Girls, do me a favor.

- Forget about
- this cheerleading thing.

- But, dad,
- cheerleaders rule the school.

- Yeah. We have to work
- so hard for everything we get.

Cheerleaders have it easy.

Not as easy as you think.

- Well, what do you know
- about it?

Well, I... nothing.

Look, it's just that, you know

- I don't want them
- to get disappointed.

- The competition will
- be kind of stiff.

Ray, the only stiff

around here is you.

- This sort of thing
- is fun for girls.

- Ooh, I just loved wearing
- those tight little sweaters

-and those short little skirts.

- Mom, I never knew
- you were a cheerleader.

- I wasn't. I just loved wearing
- those tight little sweaters

-and those short little skirts.

- Okay, girls,
- show me what you got.

Okay, I'll go first.

Lisa: Stop!

Something is missing here.

Tia, stand next to your sister.

- Are you going to teach us
- some cheerleading routines?

- Yeah! Can you teach us
- how to do a split?

- If you drive me
- to the hospital afterwards.

- No, see,
- any fool can wave a pom-pom.

- What you girls need
- is a little something extra

- Like a gimmick,
- and you already got one going.

Both: Like what?

Like that. That twin thing.

Yeah, look at you!

- Everybody knows the best things
- in life come in twos:

Earrings, shoes, pizzas...

Uh, mom, pizzas

don't come in twos.

They do when I order them.

Sit down, girls, sit down.

You just work

that twin thing.

- You stay side by side,
- and you'll have those judges

- Eating out of your
- identical little hands.

- Mom, you think
- that's going to work?

Oh, sure it will!

- A gimmick
- always gives you a leg up

On the competition.

- Take me.
- I'm going to work tomorrow

- With a brand-new gimmick,
- making popcorn.

Ooh. Oh, I just know

that "fashions by Lisa"

will be hotter than ever.

Hi, Lisa. How was your day?

My business caught fire.

Oh, well, congratulations.

I, uh...

Ay-yi-yi! What's that?

All that's left

of "fashions by Lisa."

I knocked over

the hot popcorn oil.

- Did you ever see a backdraft
- in person?

- Lisa, I'm sorry. Are you ok?
- You weren't hurt, were you?

No. I'm okay.

Let me show you my fall line.

- This is a three-piece
- business suit

With matching scarf.

This is a floor-length

evening gown.

- And this...
- I don't know what this is.

I just hope it's waterproof.

Oh, Lisa, I'm sorry.

Hey, you know what I do

- when I'm feeling
- a little depressed?

- Walk around
- for three days in your bathrobe

And whine like my mother.

- No. What I do
- is I make a little list

- Of all the things
- I like about me.

- Well, that ought
- to fill up a post-it.

Honey, I'm serious.

You do a lot of things well.

Make a list. Go ahead, try it.

Well...

I am a good mama.

You sure are.

- You always come through
- for those girls.

Yeah. Yeah, I do, don't I?

-Hi. I'm Tia.

-And I'm tamera.

Both: Notice anything?

Yeah. Whoever sold you

those outfits lied twice.

Man, if I didn't

want to be her, I'd slap her.

'Kay, now. Miss Jody's

going to demonstrate

a simple little routine

- then you're all
- going to do it, okay?

Okay!

And five, six, seven, eight.

One-and-two-and-three-and-four,

five, six, seven, eight.

One, two, three, four,

five, six, seven, eight.

Okay. I can do that.

-Tia, I can't do that.

-Tamera, just don't worry.

I'm sure they'll give us

plenty of time to practice.

Five, six, seven, eight.

Girl: Hey!

Girl: Ouch!

Both: Ouch!

'Kay, here's who made

varsity cheerleader.

Our death warrant's posted.

- -You want to look?
- -Oh, no, thanks.

I'll just wait here

with my head in my locker.

Oh, my gosh, tamera,

we made it!

We actually made it!

Tia: No way!

Tia: Tamera, come here!

Look, look! Look!

It says:

"Varsity cheerleaders."

Uh, I don't think so.

See, this is the varsity list

and this is your squad.

C squad?

What's that?

Principal's idea.

- He thinks everyone
- who tries out

- Should get a shot,
- no matter how lame they are.

Well, who else is on our team?

Meet the c squad.

- What did the insurance
- company say?

Plenty.

Not only are they not

paying my claim,

they changed my policy

from no-fault to my-fault.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Oh, nope. No pity, no pity.

I am moving on.

A freak fire like that happens

once in a million years.

- I'm not going to let it
- get me down.

- Uh-uh, not going
- to get in my way.

- I always say,
- if you can't stand the heat,

Get on out of the kitchen.

- Lisa, get out of the kitchen!
- Fire!

Oh!

- Smokey the bear should
- just put me on speed dial.

Lisa...

No harm done.

- Lisa: Oh, no...
- -Everything's fine.

What's the occasion?

- Well...
- I wanted to give

A little victory dinner

for the girls.

For what?

- Don't bite my head off,
- but the girls

- Went out
- for cheerleading today,

- And I know they're
- coming back winners

Because I coached them.

- What? Lisa! I don't want them
- to be cheerleaders!

- I thought I had
- talked them out of it.

Like anybody listens to you.

- Ray,
- the girls really want this.

- You'll feel good
- once they come in here

On top of the world.

Both: Our lives are over.

Oh, no. Did you make the squad?

Oh, we made it, all right.

Oh, you did!

Yeah, the c squad.

Also know as the odd squad.

We're cheerlosers.

We perform when the game's over

- and everyone's heading
- to the parking lot.

Yeah, in our gym shorts.

- They don't even
- give us uniforms.

Wait a minute.

- They put our girls
- on the c squad? Our girls?

Well, I don't understand.

What about the twin thing?

Didn't that work?

- Oh, yeah, it worked all right.
- Against us.

-Sorry, mom.

One thing was missing

from the twin gimmick.

Yeah, twin talent.

Oh, no. You have talent.

I can still help you.

- You just need the right cheer.
- Yeah.

- ♪ We're really glad
- to see ya' ♪

- ♪ if you give us
- a second chance ♪

♪ You'll have money

in your pants ♪

Just forget it, mom!

We're hopeless.

- I'm surprised we even made
- the c squad.

This is all so humiliating.

We should probably just quit.

Oh...

- Not enough that I burned
- my business to the ground.

- Now I got to make
- the girls dreams

Go up in smoke.

Lisa, don't feel bad.

You did your best.

Yeah...

That's what's so pitiful.

Girls, I can't let you quit.

- What would you say
- if I told you I could turn you

- Into cheerleaders
- as good as the varsity?

What are you talking about?

- Tamera, I never wanted
- to tell you this.

I had hoped to take

this secret to my grave

- but to see you
- talk about quitting

Well, it leaves me no choice.

You just wait right here.

Whoo.

Run, Tia, it's a pod person!

No, no, no. It's ray Campbell,

first and last male cheerleader

at Roosevelt high.

Also known as "rah-rah-ray."

Ray, you were a cheerleader?

Dad, you never told me that.

Although I can see

why you never mentioned

the "rah-rah-ray" part.

Well, the episode is not

one of my fond memories.

I joined the squad to get close

- to this really cute girl
- I had a crush on,

But the price I had to pay

was pretty large.

Yeah, I was teased and bullied

and humiliated.

Boy, my dad was really mean.

And the school kids,

they were even worse.

I was so upset, I just quit.

Wow. You never quit anything.

Right. Not since then.

I was so ashamed that I gave up

on something I really wanted

- that I decided
- I would never quit again.

- I know how much you want to be
- terrific cheerleaders,

So I'm not going to

let you quit either.

Thanks, ray.

When I'm through

- the c squad
- will be the squad to see.

Uh... wait till you see

the c squad.

Now, the purpose

of you being here

is to become the best c squad

- in the history
- of Roosevelt high.

Tia: All right!

Wait, wait, wait.

Wait a minute.

We're the only c squad

- in the history
- of Roosevelt high.

- Well, then,
- we're already the best.

- -Mr. Campbell?
- -Yes, Jasmine.

- If it helps,
- I was on the a squad

At weight watcher's camp.

I made top of the pyramid.

Whoo.

Well, maybe you shouldn't aim

quite so high this time.

- Okay, the big game
- is this Saturday night,

- So we got to clear all this
- out and get to work.

Mom, would you mind?

We need some more room.

Oh, sure, baby.

I wouldn't want to get

in anybody's way.

We could sure use

some help in there.

Yeah, sure, ray.

The girls have rah-rah-ray.

Why do they need

loo-loser-Lisa?

Lisa,

getting knocked down

does not make you a loser.

You only lose by staying down.

All right, then.

If that's the way

you're going to be,

no skin off my nose.

No, siree.

Hello, yay team sports? Yeah.

Look, I need some outfits

for some cheerleaders.

No, they don't have to match.

- Teenage girls don't care
- what they look like.

- Naugahyde... yeah, right.
- Right on.

I'll take a half dozen...

No, no, no, you will

not ray Campbell.

- You'll not have those girls
- looking like a barcalounger.

- Come on.
- They need glitz and glamour,

- And mama here knows
- something about that.

- -But you just...
- -But nothing.

- I got some
- cheerleading outfits.

-I got to whip up, now, get!

-Okay, then.

Welcome to the team.

Braveheart,

starring Mel Gibson.

Show times are 12:30, 1:45,

4:00, 6:30, 7:15 and 10:00 P.M.

That trickster.

♪ Kinda got me

burnin', burnin' up ♪

♪ Kinda got me

burnin', burnin' up ♪

♪ I want you

just to shake your body ♪

♪ move it to the beat

and rock the house ♪

♪ ain't no holdin' out

I want you to get off ♪

♪ and, baby, take it

higher, higher ♪

♪ Kinda got me

burnin', burnin' up ♪

♪ I'm feelin'

like a locomotion ♪

♪ I'm feelin' like

I'm off and runnin' wild ♪

♪ so don't you fool around

I wanna party down ♪

♪ and, baby,

take it higher, higher ♪

♪ doin' what you will

do it how you feel ♪

♪ Kinda got me

burnin', burnin' up ♪

F

Announcer: And Lincoln wins

by an incredible 73 points.

And now,

the Roosevelt high c squad.

Okay! You're on!

-Oh, dad, I don't want to.

-Please don't make us.

I don't feel good.

My sugar level drops

- if I don't eat
- every ten minutes.

- Come on, girls.
- I admit the crowd turned ugly,

- Especially that guy over there
- in the third row.

-He came ugly, child...

- Come on, now!
- You can do it.

- Yeah!
- You can win this crowd over.

All you got to do is... duck!

Boy: Roosevelt stinks!

Tia, pack the pom-poms.

- I'll be out back
- with the motor running.

Losers coming through.

- Wait a minute, baby.
- Come on, you are not a loser.

Not unless you quit.

Tia, now, listen.

- I've lost my business,
- my self-respect

And part of one eyebrow.

Now, I was down.

I was so down that down

looked like up to me.

Then I remembered

these wise words,

- "you don't lose
- by getting knocked down.

You lose by staying down."

Thanks, mom.

Cover us, dad. We're going in.

Come on, guys.

Well, Lisa, I'm really touched.

You really took

to heart what I said.

You said that?

I thought I made that up.

Lights, ray.

Stop! Stop!

- All of you just get
- your little high school heinies

- Right back on that bench!
- Come on!

Go ahead! Go ahead!

- Girls: Ain't no party
- like a Roosevelt party!

Whoo, whoo!

- Ain't no party
- like a Roosevelt party!

- Ain't no party
- like a Roosevelt party!

- Tamera:
- Hey, dad, did you see us?

I'm so proud of you!

- Honey, you were so hot,
- I saw the devil

- In the stands
- drinking lemonade.

Your costumes were great.

- The devil had
- to wear sunglasses

- To keep the glare... you know.
- You looked great!

Come on, ray.

- We couldn't have done it
- without either of you.

Yeah. Come on, guys.

Well, twins,

I got to hand it to you.

You did okay.

Just okay?

'Kay, better than okay.

Tia, tamera,

you made the a squad.

Welcome to the team.

Uh...

Thanks, Wendy, but no thanks.

'Scuse me?

- Let me tell you
- something, miss thang...

A while back, we wanted

to be cheerleaders

for all the wrong reasons,

- but now we know
- what matters

- Is what you put
- into being a cheerleader,

- Not what you
- could get out of it.

Thanks for the offer,

but we're already on a team,

and we're not quitting.

Not ever.

We're the c squad, babe.

So step...

'Kay?

Tia, that was beautiful.

I am so proud

to be your sister.

- Best of luck on the c squad.
- Wendy, wait up!

Ray: No, no, no, no.

-Come on, daddy!

- Can't I be on the varsity team
- just for a month?

Okay, okay, two weeks.

- -Is a day going to kill you?
- Ray: Come on.

Hey, dad!

Could you please

bring me a soda?

- -Thanks.
- -No problem.

I wouldn't open that just yet.