Sister, Sister (1994–1999): Season 4, Episode 12 - Bring on the Debate - full transcript

-Tamera, cut it out!

- Gosh, you're acting
- like a baby.

Tamera: Am not! Am not!

I don't want to go

and you can't make me!

- Look, tamera, why don't you
- just get it over with?

- I'm sure
- it won't be that painful.

Ray: Tamera!

Tamera:

Oh, please, Tia, please!

- Please don't tell my dad
- where I'm hiding.



If you keep your yap shut

he'll never find me

in a million years.

Where is she, under the bed?

You got it.

Oh, man...

Tamera Anne Campbell,

get out of the car!

- Come on, let go
- of that seat belt, missy!

Dad, please!

- Honey, I'm only doing this
- for your own good.

- You're going
- to thank me someday.

- How about I thank you now
- and we call it a d-a-y?

Is that coolio on the corner?



Huh? Where?

Psych!

Somebody call 911!

Oh, give it a rest, tamera.

- We're just going to hear
- a little classical music.

Just kill me now!

- ♪ Talk about
- a two-way twister ♪

♪ shakin' up the family tree

with sibling synchronicity ♪

♪ never knew how

much I missed ya ♪

♪ I ain't ever gonna

let you go! ♪

- ♪ Never knew
- how much I missed ya ♪

♪ I ain't ever gonna

let you go ♪

Well, I'm off to work,

- got another busy
- and successful day

At fashions by Lisa.

- Hey mom, can I have
- seven dollars to go to a movie?

Oh, darling,

here's seven million!

Make one.

Air kisses.

Got to go.

Uh, got so much jewelry,

I'm tipping.

Gosh, mom.

I sure do admire you.

- You've made
- such an incredible success

Of your once shabby life.

Oh, don't I know it!

- Now I have three houses,
- five cars

- And a jacuzzi
- full of chocolate.

- In fact,
- things are so good that I...

Oh, oh.

Don't go on, I'm dreaming.

Tia: Mom, mom!

Mom, wake up!

No! I like it here.

I'm asleep

and I'm rich, rich!

Oh, I'm awake

and I'm poor, poor.

Found a job yet?

Oh, I got a job,

looking for one.

- What do you know?
- Quick time.

You are back

from the concert already!

- Next time, hide behind
- the washing machine,

That's where I go.

Actually, Lisa,

the concert was kind okay!

Did you hear that, Lisa?

My little girl thought

the concert was kind of okay!

-I'm walking on air!

Yeah, well, stay up there.

I just mopped this floor.

Mock me if you like,

my fine friend.

- But my child and I have bonded
- and this is the beginning

- Of a meaningful
- new relationship!

Right, tamera?

-I guess.

I love you so much!

Dad, I can't breath!

Oh, sorry.

- It's just that
- I waited for so long

- For you to start
- sharing my interest that...

Hey, want to go

to another concert sometime?

Maybe an art gallery?

Whatever.

Whatever! Yes!

- I'm out of work
- and I'm out of mallomars.

Oh lord, can't anything

go my way today?

Hello.

- Would you like
- to buy some cookies?

Oh, you're good.

How much?

For the basket? 20 dollars.

Oh, it's for a good cause.

- I'm raising money
- for the church winter pageant.

Well... all right.

- You must make
- a nice chunk of change

- Peddling pastries
- at these prices.

- Oh, yes.
- But I've always enjoyed baking.

- Isn't it lucky that people
- are willing pay me

For something I'm good at?

- I wish somebody would pay me
- for something I'm good at.

- Because I'd have no problem
- peddling it door to door.

Hey, maybe I should try it.

Oh, go for it, dear.

The lord helps those

who help themselves.

Yeah.

I will help myself.

I'll start with these cookies.

That's right, one adult

and one student ticket

for the chagall exhibit.

- Yes, I'm sure
- my daughter will love it.

Thank you.

And have a nice degas.

A little art museum humor.

- I thought
- you would appreciate...

-hello?

Ray, ray.

- Why do you want to sell
- your dresses on the street?

I'm sure you...

Whoa. I understood you

with your mouth full.

- It's official, we've been
- living together too long.

Well, what do you think?

- I'll put on my most fashionable
- fashions by Lisa

Get me some business cards

- and hand them out
- wherever I go.

- Ray,
- I'll be back on my feet again

- And I won't ask you
- for another penny.

Good for you, Lisa.

- Just give me that $20
- you owe me

And we'll call it even.

Wait a minute,

I don't owe you $20.

Oh, what's that?

Both: Hey, hey!

Hey, hey, hey,

what are you doing here?

We're celebrating

the rhythm of life, dad!

Pretty slammin', huh, mom?

Yeah. Bring on the noise.

Turn off the noise now!

What are you doing?

- Shh.
- We're checking our pulses.

Yeah. Bill says your pulse

is your body's

natural drumbeat.

Bill. Of course.

What else? A boy.

Dad, bill is not a boy.

He's a teacher.

A teacher? And you call

your teacher bill?

Ah, bill.

I once had a dog called bill.

- There's no story.
- I just wanted you to know.

I can't believe

bill's going to be

- our music substitute teacher
- for two whole months!

Yes!

He's your music teacher

- and he thinks
- banging cans is music?

- Well,
- it's certainly not Mozart.

- Well, bill says
- there's more to music

Than Mozart.

- Yeah. Bill says
- you can find music

Anywhere at all.

- Well, obviously,
- bill hasn't heard ray

Singing in the shower.

I've got good news.

Go get cleaned up

'cause you and your dad

are going to a museum.

Uh, maybe some other time,

okay, dad?

We're all hanging out

with bill this afternoon.

Kind of like a field trip.

Really? Where are you going?

To a field.

Yep. He's going to teach us

how to listen to the wind.

This bill character sounds

nuttier than a fruitcake.

Oh, dad, I don't expect

you to understand.

- I mean,
- bill is really cool.

And you're...

You're really...

Well, an l-7.

A what?

Square, ray.

- Out of touch,
- out of date, out of chips...

- Oh, could you pick some up
- at the market?

Dad, look I don't mind

you being an l-7.

It's just that all grownups

can't be like bill.

- Mom,
- bill's an amazing teacher.

He knows how to talk to kids.

He is absolutely the most

- interesting man
- I have ever known.

He is so cool.

Tia: I have to agree.

He's awesome.

He is all that.

Bill.

- I'll have your dress ready
- by Monday.

And you take it from me,

- when your husband gets
- a load of you in spandex,

It will be like he's 75 again.

Oh, thank you.

Excuse me, miss.

Yes?

My wife's birthday's coming up.

She would look great

in that outfit.

Mind if I take a closer look?

Oh, go right ahead.

It comes in maxi, mini, midi

and "oh-my-god-is-that-legal".

Explain to me about the midi.

L-7? Where does my daughter

come off calling me l-7?

I believe that incident

occurred six days ago,

Mr. Campbell.

It's the seventh day.

For god's sake, give it a rest.

Oh, you're right, Roger.

But it's not fair.

- Bill is hip and cool
- and happening.

- He knows how to communicate
- with teenagers.

Whenever I talk

- they act like they
- don't even hear me.

You know what I mean, Roger?

Hey, 3-t's going on tour.

It's hopeless.

Just have faith, Mr. Campbell.

- In your case,
- there's nowhere to go but up.

Okay, cool school

is now in session.

Try this, and say it

like you mean it.

"Yo, dat noise is all that.

But me and the guys

gotta jet."

- "Good lookin' out.
- We Audi."

What the heck did I just say?

- The music's good,
- but I got to go.

Take care.

Wouldn't it be better

just to say that?

Look, you want to be cool

or you?

And while

we're on the subject

the way you dress is whack.

Thank you, Roger.

- Hello.
- Whack ain't good.

Now, why don't we try

rolling up a pant leg?

Hey, watch the crease.

- And here,
- try this baseball cap.

And these.

How do I look?

Toe up.

But let's run with it.

That was good.

Dad, you been working

in the yard?

Yo, uh, I'm the crew

and we toe up.

Huh?

Dad, you feeling okay?

How 'bout that noise?

What noise?

Dad, maybe you should stay

out of the sun for a while.

Yeah, ray, get some rest.

That went surprisingly well.

That is one sad brother.

Who are you telling?

- Ray, guess what?
- Never mind, you're too slow.

I'll just say it.

- I sold six dresses
- on the street.

- Then the strangest thing
- happened.

I was in the shoe store

trying on a size four...

- That is strange.
- Don't you wear a size eight?

Shut up.

- Anyway, I noticed
- that cookie lady Janice

- And her friends,
- you know, outside the window.

When I waved to them,

- they gave me
- the coldest shoulder

- Froze me right down
- to my toes.

- In fact, they're still
- like toot-sicles.

- Lisa, do you think
- I could ever be a happening,

Today kind of guy?

Oh, you're serious.

Yes, I am.

I mean, I know

I'm not with it.

One of those cool cats

who's out there

on the groove tip.

Ray could you get

to the point?

The point is, just when tamera

started to share my interests

along comes this bill guy

and steals her away from me.

How can she make a hero out

of somebody she hardly knows?

- Well,
- children pick their heroes

For lots of reasons.

- We can guide them,
- try to help them

But we can't make up

their mind for them.

Better back down.

The louder you yell,

the less they hear you.

- You've been
- in the fortune cookies again,

Haven't you?

Punkin?

Girls, come on, I'm trying

to do some work out here.

Yo, ladies!

Ladies, look...

Dad is going deaf!

Hey!

Do you have to blast

that noise?

Look, Tia's trying

to do her homework.

We're both doing our homework.

We're listening

to "intent to kill".

Yeah, ray.

- Our assignment was to write
- a paper reacting to the music.

Let me guess. Bill.

"Angry streets

are filled with anger.

I raise my fist.

I want to scream.

Yes. I'm mad, mad, mad...

Mad, mad, ma..."

- keep going.
- There's about 60 of them.

I think I get the point.

- -Dad!
- Tia: Ray!

I can't believe this idiot

that calls himself a teacher.

Exposing you to ugly music

that makes you feel

ugly things.

Bill said you

wouldn't understand.

Oh, he did, did he?

- Well, let me tell you
- something, missy

About this bill of yours.

He's nothing

but a big fat phony.

And as a matter of fact...

- Wait a minute,
- I can use two of these.

Tamera, I forbid you

from ever liking him again.

So stop it this instant!

Whoa, tamera,

the two-finger wag.

He means business.

Anyway, my mom went off

on bill for a whole hour.

Well, I guess that's why

headphones were invented.

All: Parents.

Hey, you guys hear?

- There's a heck of a hoop-de-do
- going on

At the principal's office.

- Somebody's trying to get
- that teacher bill fired.

What?

- We're not going
- to let that happen.

- What kind
- of narrow-minded troublemaker

Would do this to us?

Come on, guys.

- Hi, kids.
- What are you doing here?

I was about to ask you

the same question, dad.

- I hope you're only here
- 'cause I'm failing chemistry.

You're failing chemistry?

Don't change the subject.

Ray, were you trying

to get bill fired?

Fired? No, no, no.

- All I did was lodge a complaint
- with the principal.

But I believe I'm justified

under the circumstances.

What?

Can we please see you

in our office?

Ray.

I can't believe you did this.

Yeah. How could you

come down here like this

and embarrass us?

Girls, I'm a concerned parent

- who cares deeply about
- the quality of your education.

And that embarrasses you?

Both: Duh!

Come on, tamera,

we got to get to class.

Right behind you.

Dad, I don't get it.

I finally found a teacher

who inspires me.

Well, you shouldn't be

inspired by that phony.

If you want to learn about

real music, come to me.

That's what you were starting

to do before he came along.

Oh, my gosh.

You're jealous, aren't you?

What?

Don't be ridiculous.

You know what, dad?

Up till today

whenever I felt this bad

- you were the only person
- I could turn to.

Well,

who do I turn to now?

Tamera...

I have never been

so insulted in my life!

- You go out looking like that,
- what do you expect?

Ray, will you put down

that salt and listen?

Okay.

Oh... oh!

Ray, I was passing by

the dainty doily tea shop

- and I noticed that cookie lady,
- Janice, and her friends.

- So I went in to find out
- why they've been snubbing me.

And?

You know all that peddling

I've been doing in the street?

- Guess what they thought
- I was peddling.

No!

- Ptuh-huh!
- Believe me,

There was a showdown

in tea town.

Whoo! Oh, ray,

I do not understand it.

I was doing something

completely innocent

- and she went and turned it
- into something ugly.

I hear you, homie.

- Uh, something a little
- left over from cool school.

- Oh ray, please,
- don't go gangsta on me, please.

Just tell me,

what's on your mind?

- Well, I went down
- to the high school today

To talk to bill and, well,

the girls busted me.

You know, just a week ago

- tamera and I
- were closer than ever

- And now she won't
- even speak to me.

What are you doing?

I'm trying really hard

not to say "I told you so".

Okay, okay.

I was just trying to do

the right thing and...

You know,

she actually accused me

of being jealous

of that fool teacher.

Jealous?

Well, that's silly.

You might be frustrated,

but you got good reason.

I certainly do.

Yeah. You love her.

- So it's only natural you want
- her to share your interests.

- But she doesn't seem
- to give a duck's butt

About your music.

Your art.

I bet that hurts your feelings.

Sure does.

Well, how do you think

she feels?

Hmm?

- Did you even take the time
- to try and listen to her music

Before you turned it off

or even meet bill before

you tried to get him fired?

Well, i...

Did I say you could talk?

Now, ray, you keep putting down

these things she loves...

Pretty soon

she'll be so gone

there won't be nothing left

- but a shoe box
- full of pictures.

Tamera, what are you doing?

Homework.

Oh, and don't worry,

- it's math
- and I'm not enjoying it.

You'd really love

the teacher, too.

He's boring.

- Tamera, I thought
- about what you said

And, well, I...

I think you're wrong.

I wasn't jealous of bill.

- I just saw you
- drifting away from me

And I got scared.

I overreacted.

So, why don't I call

the principal tomorrow

- and I drop my complaint
- against bill.

Okay, okay.

So, I haven't been

behaving very well.

- So,
- I want to show you someone

- Who may help you
- understand me.

Dad, I don't want

to hurt your feelings

but I've outgrown

that stupid sock puppet.

No, no. I'm not talking

about Mr. Wooly.

I'm talking about him.

Oh, my gosh, dad...

Is that you?

- What was the occasion,
- Halloween?

High school.

Pretty groovy, huh?

- Between the hair
- and the platform shoes

I was close to nine feet tall.

Don't ever make fun

of my clothes again.

Dad, why are you

showing me this?

- Well, these are all
- the pictures I have

Of me and my father

when I was a teenager.

But grandpa's not

in any of these pictures.

- Right. By the time
- I was your age

- He was pretty much
- out of my life.

- He hated my music.
- He didn't like my friends.

- He wasn't the
- least bit interested

- In any of the things that
- were really important to me.

Sounds familiar.

Finally, I cut him off.

I just gave up on him.

- But, honey, I don't want you
- to give up on me.

I may not always share

your likes and dislikes

but I want to prove to you

- that I'm very, very
- interested in all of them.

Really?

Really.

Tamera, I want to be

in your pictures.

Tia, you're not going

to believe this.

- I just ran into
- that cookie lady, Janice.

- I hope you made it
- look like an accident.

I didn't hit her.

- In fact,
- we each had a cup of tea

At the dainty doily.

- She and the other
- church ladies

- Felt so bad
- about soiling my reputation...

Not to mention my blouse...

- That they hired me
- to make all the costumes

- For the church's
- winter pageant.

- What?
- Mom, that's great.

You're telling me it's great.

- You know how much fabric
- it'll take to cover

That bunch of big-boned women?

Uh! Uh! I got to go tell ray.

- No, wait.
- He's not here.

- He said something
- about proving to tamera

He was interested

in stuff she likes.

Oh, isn't that sweet?

- I bet you those two are going
- to be closer than ever.

Raymond Earl Campbell,

get... get out of the car!

- No, no. I changed my mind!
- I don't want to go.

- You're going to love
- "intent to kill".

Kill me.

Somebody call 911!

Help!

- Wait a minute,
- he is your music teacher

And he thinks banging

trash cans is music?

Well, I'm sartenly...

I'm sartenly?

Certainly.

I'm certainly, certainly.

- Are you trying
- to get bill fired?

No, no.

I did lodge a compaint...

Compaint?

Tamera, I don't want

you to give up on me.

You know...

- If I could think of my line
- this would be a great scene.