Sister, Sister (1994–1999): Season 4, Episode 1 - When a Man Loves Two Women - full transcript
It's every woman for herself as Tia and Tamera compete for Roger's favor.
Whoa, Tia. Two words:
Uh-gly.
And your outfit is toe-up.
Both: Cool.
See, we're going to need
the worst clothes we've got
- 'cause the annual
- Roosevelt high
- Summer's-over-school's-
- a-comin' car wash
Is a-comin' up.
Anyway, the best part
about the car wash is:
You get to ask a boy you like
to be your bumper buddy.
Yeah, and if you choose right,
today's bumper buddy
could be tomorrow's
prom puddin'.
Actually, I've already
got a boy in mind
for the car wash.
Don't laugh, but...
It's Roger.
Oh, really!
In case you haven't noticed
Roger changed a lot
over the summer.
He's, actually, sort of...
Well... cute.
Did I just say that?
-Say what?
-Nothing.
Get this.
As my bumper buddy
I actually kind of think
I might like...
Roger.
I mean, in one summer
he went from
as if...
to all that.
Now, he's really...
Well, cute.
Did I just say that?
Say what?
Oh, nothing.
Both: I'm going
to go out with Roger.
Don't tell my sister.
♪ Talk about
a two-way twister ♪
♪ shakin' up the family tree
with sibling synchronicity ♪
- ♪ never knew
- how much I missed ya ♪
♪ I ain't ever gonna
let you go! ♪
Use the free code JOINNOW at
www.playships.eu
♪ Never knew
how much I missed ya ♪
♪ I ain't ever gonna
let you go ♪
Students, students,
don't forget the car wash.
"You make it dirty,
we'll make it purty."
Hey, Roger.
What's up, Roger?
Looking good.
Hi, Roger.
Man, my brother...
- Just tell me where
- the transformation chamber is.
I know, Michael, my brother.
- Kind of takes
- your breath away, doesn't it?
Now that I've had me
a big mackin' attack
- for the first time,
- I'm the man.
- Mike: Oh, yeah.
- -Mike, I think it's time
- I put the new Roger
- to the test.
- Tia, you don't want
- to go out with me, do you?
As a matter of fact,
I do, Roger.
- Huh? You know I was
- talking about me, right?
I know.
Hey, we can go out
for an early dinner Saturday.
- -Yeah, sure.
- -Cool.
See you later, sweet thing.
- -She said yes.
- -To who?
- To me. I'm going out
- with Tia Landry Saturday night.
- Roger Evans...
- You have got a date
With the girl of your dreams.
What you going to do now?
Ask her sister.
Tamera...
- How about a late
- movie Saturday?
I'd love to, Roger.
Naturally, honey dip.
Who's the man now?
- Two women,
- one Saturday night.
Kill me Sunday.
- But life will never
- get better than that.
- Uh, Roger, you think
- you ought to be doing this?
- You know,
- you got a point, Mike.
- Do those sweet girls
- deserve to be played like this?
Both: Go home, Roger.
Both: Go home, Roger.
Excuse me, tamera...
- -Get out of here!
- -Now!
Both: Go home!
Beat it, pervert!
Game on.
Whoo...
Hello, psychic friend?
- I know you charge
- $3.99 a minute
- So forgive me
- if I'm talking fast.
- I was wondering
- if there's a man in my future
- 'cause you don't know
- how long it's been
- Since I had a date!
- And I was wondering
- Could you do me
- a little something
'cause I really need to meet...
You know, actually,
you got a sexy voice.
Are you single?
Uh-ooh-ooh... sorry, lady.
Oh... hi, baby.
Well, what'd you do today?
Not much.
This and that.
Stuff.
Well, honey, wait a minute.
- Come on, now,
- sit down over here
And you just tell me
all about this boy.
- How do you know
- there's a boy?
Oh, I know that look.
I've had that look.
It's either a boy
- or a overturned twinkie
- truck on the freeway.
So, tell me,
tell me, tell me.
Tia: Okay, well...
- It's a boy
- and he's really cute and...
That's about it.
Hi, ray. Bye, ray.
Well, my head is just reeling
- from all that information
- I just got.
I got the same thing
when tamera came in.
She's got a new boyfriend too?
I guess, but she won't tell me
anything about it.
I'm only the father.
You know, ray?
- We should make an effort
- to meet these boys
And their families.
I'm impressed, Lisa.
What a nice old-fashioned idea.
Oh, snap out of it, ray.
- I was just hoping one of them
- had a nice single father.
Or uncle, older brother...
Young grandfather...
- Nephew,
- cousin with some benefits...
Ooh, I've got a date
Saturday night.
So do I!
Who's yours?
Uh... I know this is going
to sound weird
but...
- I'm a little embarrassed
- to say it.
- No, no, no,
- that's not weird at all
'cause I feel the same way.
Maybe mine will drop by
after our date.
Wait'll you see him, tamera.
He is so cute.
Wait'll you see mine.
He's so smooth.
So, Tia... are you cold?
Not really...
But it's sweet of you to ask.
Hey!
Oops, I'm sorry.
That's okay.
- -Hey, is that a raccoon?
- -Where?
Ow!
My eye.
Sorry about that.
I guess I'm a little nervous.
I really like you, Tia.
I like you, too, Roger.
Oh, no!
Oh, my gosh,
it's almost 8:30 p.M!
Um, Roger, I promised tamera
- that she could have
- the car for her date.
He doesn't drive.
- Doesn't mean
- he doesn't have it going on.
Roger, your pants are ringing.
Talk to me.
Oh, yeah.
I'll be home
in about ten minutes.
So, I'll see you then,
sweet thing.
Uh, mom.
Mom?
Lisa, my date
just called me mom.
- I wouldn't care if a man
- called me chucklebutt,
Long as he call me.
Let me use that phone.
Hello, psychic friend?
Yeah, let me speak to dionne.
LaToya?
- Jermaine?
- Oh, yeah, well, whoever.
- Now, look,
- when am I going to meet
That man you promised me?
Really? That soon?
- Ooh, got to go.
- Thank you, psychic friend.
- You tell dionne I said
- "you go, girl."
Whoo! I'll get it!
It's my man!
Whoo, come on in here
and rock my world.
Hello, I'm Inez Williams
and I'd like to tell you
about our church.
- Praise the lord.
- Sorry you can't stay.
Oh, wait. We have bingo
and barbecues...
Oh, yeah,
god bless, bye-bye.
Williams: And a singles night.
Singles night, ooh, hallelujah!
Oh! Come on in!
So, tell me,
how many single men
do you have in your church?
Michael, Oliver,
Robert, Reggie...
- Oh, enough said!
- See you on Sunday.
Oh, thank you.
So, who was that at the door?
The answer to my prayers.
You know, ray...
I had a vision.
I know what's missing
in my life.
Church.
- So, you did a little talking
- to the man upstairs.
- -There's a man upstairs?
- -Hey, hey.
Easy, easy, girl.
I'm talking about god.
Oh, yes... him.
- Well, he definitely
- sent me a sign
So tomorrow I'm going
to the north hills church.
Lisa, that's a wonderful idea.
- I been thinking
- about trying another church.
We'll all go.
All?
- God didn't say nothing
- about no all.
- And besides, church is no place
- for the family.
Lisa, don't be silly.
Remember, a family that prays
together stays together.
Yeah, well, why can't y'all
stays together at home?
So...
So...
Tamera, you look cold.
We could turn up the heat.
Yes, we could.
- -Hey, is that a raccoon?
- -Where?
Ow! My eye!
Tia, I really like
this guy a lot
but I get the feeling
there's someone else.
Another woman?
Whoa, if someone
messed with my man,
girlfriend's going down.
Now, you see, my guy...
- Ah, you know, Lisa,
- this was a wonderful idea.
- It's about time we did
- more things as a family.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah,
- just don't sit near me.
I want to go up front.
- I want to be closer
- to the lord.
Tia, Tia, now,
honey, usually
- I would be all up
- in your business
- But I'm trying
- this new parenting thing
Called trust, so just tell me:
This mystery date of yours
- he was a gentleman,
- wasn't he?
Yeah, of course he was.
Although he did
try to kiss me.
But don't worry, mom.
I kept my eye on him.
Good, baby, 'cause you know,
men are animals.
Hey... Lisa's going on safari.
So, um...
- Inez,
- where are all these single men
- -you told me about?
- -Oh, right over there, dear.
That's Mr. and Mrs. Singlemen
and their lovely children
Inez: Reggie, Oliver...
-what?
- But I came here to meet
- an unmarried man.
- Well,
- if you meet one, honey,
Lock the door.
- Little old lady,
- I think you better run.
Reverend: And now, if you turn
to page 21 in your hymnals.
This song is one
of my personal favorites...
So, give.
- Who's your bumper buddy
- going to be?
Well, hang on to the pew.
It's Roger.
Roger?
Roger who?
How many Rogers do we know?
Well, I'm hoping
more than one
'cause Roger's
my bumper buddy.
You?
You're the other woman?
-No, you're the other woman.
-Girls...
Stand back, dad.
This could get ugly.
♪ I've got peace like a river
in my soul... ♪
Tia, tamera!
Please, ladies!
-He's my man.
-He's mine!
- -Oh, it's on, sister-girl.
- -You got that right!
- I'm about to double
- my wardrobe.
- -Excuse me?
- -Yes!
- You shouldn't
- have said that to me!
- I would never
- have came here...
- Let go of me!
- Take your hands off me!
She lied!
♪ I've got peace like a river
in my soul... ♪
Fighting in church...
- I've never been so embarrassed
- in all my life!
- Especially when the reverend
- took out a cell phone
And threatened to call 911!
What do you have to say?
I don't want to hear it!
Your behavior was appalling!
You are so right, ray.
You girls ought to be ashamed.
I'm talking about you too.
- Well, I didn't start it.
- That old biddy gave me a wedgy.
Yeah, and Tia's trying
to steal my boyfriend.
Wrong! Tamera's trying
to steal my boyfriend.
He's mine!
Well, excuse me
while I go knock
some sense into her.
- Wait a minute. You two
- are seeing the same guy?
We have to discuss this.
- Come back down here,
- young laddies!
I mean business this time!
I want you right down here!
This used to mean something.
Oh, ray, don't get
your boxers in a bunch.
- Ooh, trust me...
- Doesn't feel too good.
Oh, so it's okay
if our daughters
are fighting over
a man in church?
Doesn't surprise me
coming from a woman
- who uses the house of god
- as a single's bar.
- Looking for a man in church
- does not make me a hussy.
- What do you think all those
- other women were there for?
Oh, that's ridiculous.
Those decent,
god-fearing women
are there looking
for a road to heaven.
All: Hi, ray.
Roger,
I brought your favorite.
- All right!
- Now I can get my soda on.
Roger,
you've got to talk to Tia.
She thinks you like her.
Isn't that ridiculous?
That's crazy.
Tamera, you know that
I only love you, baby.
- So, see you later
- at the car wash, bumper buddy.
Okay.
Bye, bumper buddy.
Hello, Roger.
- Um, I hope
- you were telling tamera
She's wasting her time.
Tia, you know that
I only love you, baby.
Do I smell barbecue nachos?
Mm-hmm.
These are for you.
- Thanks.
- So, see you later
- At the car wash,
- bumper buddy.
Okay.
'Bye, bumper buddy.
- Man! Do you realize
- you're going to have those two
Fighting over you
at the car wash today?
Oh, yeah...
Life is good.
Here you go, ray.
My special bean casserole.
Whoa.
Oh, boy.
Another bean casserole.
Tell you what.
- Why don't we freeze
- this till later?
- When was the last time this
- place had a good cleaning?
Oh...
You two are working it again?
We're just taking care
of this poor man.
Ray: Well...
That's very sweet of you,
Selma.
He's so starved
his clothes are practically
hanging off of him.
You wish.
And this house is a sty.
- Give me that.
- Give me that!
Give me that hoover.
I can do his cleaning for him.
And I can feed him too!
- -Well, thank you, Lisa.
- -Shut up.
Oh, that's my cobbler.
Might be my sweet potato pie.
Could be my pop tart.
Boy, Mr. Campbell
three women waiting on you.
This is all right.
Well, it ain't half bad.
- You know
- I was a little nervous
- About you finding out,
- but now, ,
- After seeing you
- with all your women
I realize we're two of a kind.
What are you talking about?
- Tia and tamera...
- I'm dating them both.
- Wait a minute. You're the boy?
- The reason they're fighting?
They're fighting over me?
Give me five up top, bro.
You going to leave me
hanging, Mr. Campbell?
- I am the man, right,
- Mr. Campbell?
Yeah. The dead man!
-Hey, is that a raccoon?
I know where you live!
No, you didn't!
Little old lady, you did not
throw out my bacon fat.
You got to go home.
Get out. Get out of here.
- Get out of here. Out!
- You, too!
- Oh... just as soon
- as you finish those delicates.
I do not want any pew-hopping,
casserole-bringing
man-hunting hussies in here
messing around with my...
Kitchen.
- If anything
- is going to be heated up
It's going to be done by me.
- Lisa,
- if I didn't know any better
- I'd say you were
- a little jealous.
Me? Jealous?
Ooh, that's a good one, ray.
I see.
You know, that bean casserole
made me a little thirsty.
I could sure use
a glass of milk.
Could you?
How about a couple
cookies to go with that?
Oh, I could go for that.
- Good. While you in there,
- get me some peach cobbler.
Excuse me.
You're washing my section.
This is my section.
- -No, it's not!
- -Yes, it is!
Tia!
I knew him first!
Yeah, and you didn't want him!
You didn't want him either!
You didn't want him first!
- Both: All right,
- all right, all right!
Tia, Roger loves me,
so just get over it.
No, Roger loves me.
Mm-mm!
Hey, are you guys
talking about Roger Evans?
Both: Yeah! He loves me!
- Oh, no he doesn't.
- He loves me.
Both: What?
Wait a minute.
Roger said he loved me.
-No, me.
-He said me.
Tamera: Wait a minute.
Roger went out with all of you?
Girls: Uh-huh!
Tia...
We have been so stupid.
I know.
Tamera, we shouldn't
be fighting each other.
Right.
You take the five on the left.
I'll take the little one.
-No, no, no, tamera.
-What?
They're not the enemy.
The enemy is...
Hey, my little bumper buddies.
Miss me?
Not from this distance.
I'm so glad we're back
to being best friends.
Yeah, and we're never
going to let a man
come between us again.
Hi, girls.
- Roger,
- what are you doing here?
- Yeah, and why are you coming in
- through the window?
- Uh, I didn't want
- to disturb your dad.
He is asleep, right?
I think so.
I hope so.
- Girls,
- I just wanted to let you know
That I'm sorry if I hurt you.
I was just trying to be cool
and I acted like a fool.
You girls deserve to be treated
with decency and respect.
Thanks, Roger.
So will you forgive me?
Both: We forgive you, Roger.
Good, 'cause I got a box
of tic tacs and time to kill.
Both: Go home, Roger!
Roger:
A little help here, people.
Ray, it's 4:00 in the morning.
- You going to get me
- that peach cobbler?
- Nope.
- You going to get me some milk?
Nope.
- Then, what we have
- is a stalemate.
Hmm, you got that right.
If we both jump up
on the count of three
- then nobody wins,
- nobody loses.
Good, 'cause I got to go potty.
Both: One, two, three!
- So, ray, you going to get me
- that peach cobbler or what?
Uh-gly.
And your outfit is toe-up.
Both: Cool.
See, we're going to need
the worst clothes we've got
- 'cause the annual
- Roosevelt high
- Summer's-over-school's-
- a-comin' car wash
Is a-comin' up.
Anyway, the best part
about the car wash is:
You get to ask a boy you like
to be your bumper buddy.
Yeah, and if you choose right,
today's bumper buddy
could be tomorrow's
prom puddin'.
Actually, I've already
got a boy in mind
for the car wash.
Don't laugh, but...
It's Roger.
Oh, really!
In case you haven't noticed
Roger changed a lot
over the summer.
He's, actually, sort of...
Well... cute.
Did I just say that?
-Say what?
-Nothing.
Get this.
As my bumper buddy
I actually kind of think
I might like...
Roger.
I mean, in one summer
he went from
as if...
to all that.
Now, he's really...
Well, cute.
Did I just say that?
Say what?
Oh, nothing.
Both: I'm going
to go out with Roger.
Don't tell my sister.
♪ Talk about
a two-way twister ♪
♪ shakin' up the family tree
with sibling synchronicity ♪
- ♪ never knew
- how much I missed ya ♪
♪ I ain't ever gonna
let you go! ♪
Use the free code JOINNOW at
www.playships.eu
♪ Never knew
how much I missed ya ♪
♪ I ain't ever gonna
let you go ♪
Students, students,
don't forget the car wash.
"You make it dirty,
we'll make it purty."
Hey, Roger.
What's up, Roger?
Looking good.
Hi, Roger.
Man, my brother...
- Just tell me where
- the transformation chamber is.
I know, Michael, my brother.
- Kind of takes
- your breath away, doesn't it?
Now that I've had me
a big mackin' attack
- for the first time,
- I'm the man.
- Mike: Oh, yeah.
- -Mike, I think it's time
- I put the new Roger
- to the test.
- Tia, you don't want
- to go out with me, do you?
As a matter of fact,
I do, Roger.
- Huh? You know I was
- talking about me, right?
I know.
Hey, we can go out
for an early dinner Saturday.
- -Yeah, sure.
- -Cool.
See you later, sweet thing.
- -She said yes.
- -To who?
- To me. I'm going out
- with Tia Landry Saturday night.
- Roger Evans...
- You have got a date
With the girl of your dreams.
What you going to do now?
Ask her sister.
Tamera...
- How about a late
- movie Saturday?
I'd love to, Roger.
Naturally, honey dip.
Who's the man now?
- Two women,
- one Saturday night.
Kill me Sunday.
- But life will never
- get better than that.
- Uh, Roger, you think
- you ought to be doing this?
- You know,
- you got a point, Mike.
- Do those sweet girls
- deserve to be played like this?
Both: Go home, Roger.
Both: Go home, Roger.
Excuse me, tamera...
- -Get out of here!
- -Now!
Both: Go home!
Beat it, pervert!
Game on.
Whoo...
Hello, psychic friend?
- I know you charge
- $3.99 a minute
- So forgive me
- if I'm talking fast.
- I was wondering
- if there's a man in my future
- 'cause you don't know
- how long it's been
- Since I had a date!
- And I was wondering
- Could you do me
- a little something
'cause I really need to meet...
You know, actually,
you got a sexy voice.
Are you single?
Uh-ooh-ooh... sorry, lady.
Oh... hi, baby.
Well, what'd you do today?
Not much.
This and that.
Stuff.
Well, honey, wait a minute.
- Come on, now,
- sit down over here
And you just tell me
all about this boy.
- How do you know
- there's a boy?
Oh, I know that look.
I've had that look.
It's either a boy
- or a overturned twinkie
- truck on the freeway.
So, tell me,
tell me, tell me.
Tia: Okay, well...
- It's a boy
- and he's really cute and...
That's about it.
Hi, ray. Bye, ray.
Well, my head is just reeling
- from all that information
- I just got.
I got the same thing
when tamera came in.
She's got a new boyfriend too?
I guess, but she won't tell me
anything about it.
I'm only the father.
You know, ray?
- We should make an effort
- to meet these boys
And their families.
I'm impressed, Lisa.
What a nice old-fashioned idea.
Oh, snap out of it, ray.
- I was just hoping one of them
- had a nice single father.
Or uncle, older brother...
Young grandfather...
- Nephew,
- cousin with some benefits...
Ooh, I've got a date
Saturday night.
So do I!
Who's yours?
Uh... I know this is going
to sound weird
but...
- I'm a little embarrassed
- to say it.
- No, no, no,
- that's not weird at all
'cause I feel the same way.
Maybe mine will drop by
after our date.
Wait'll you see him, tamera.
He is so cute.
Wait'll you see mine.
He's so smooth.
So, Tia... are you cold?
Not really...
But it's sweet of you to ask.
Hey!
Oops, I'm sorry.
That's okay.
- -Hey, is that a raccoon?
- -Where?
Ow!
My eye.
Sorry about that.
I guess I'm a little nervous.
I really like you, Tia.
I like you, too, Roger.
Oh, no!
Oh, my gosh,
it's almost 8:30 p.M!
Um, Roger, I promised tamera
- that she could have
- the car for her date.
He doesn't drive.
- Doesn't mean
- he doesn't have it going on.
Roger, your pants are ringing.
Talk to me.
Oh, yeah.
I'll be home
in about ten minutes.
So, I'll see you then,
sweet thing.
Uh, mom.
Mom?
Lisa, my date
just called me mom.
- I wouldn't care if a man
- called me chucklebutt,
Long as he call me.
Let me use that phone.
Hello, psychic friend?
Yeah, let me speak to dionne.
LaToya?
- Jermaine?
- Oh, yeah, well, whoever.
- Now, look,
- when am I going to meet
That man you promised me?
Really? That soon?
- Ooh, got to go.
- Thank you, psychic friend.
- You tell dionne I said
- "you go, girl."
Whoo! I'll get it!
It's my man!
Whoo, come on in here
and rock my world.
Hello, I'm Inez Williams
and I'd like to tell you
about our church.
- Praise the lord.
- Sorry you can't stay.
Oh, wait. We have bingo
and barbecues...
Oh, yeah,
god bless, bye-bye.
Williams: And a singles night.
Singles night, ooh, hallelujah!
Oh! Come on in!
So, tell me,
how many single men
do you have in your church?
Michael, Oliver,
Robert, Reggie...
- Oh, enough said!
- See you on Sunday.
Oh, thank you.
So, who was that at the door?
The answer to my prayers.
You know, ray...
I had a vision.
I know what's missing
in my life.
Church.
- So, you did a little talking
- to the man upstairs.
- -There's a man upstairs?
- -Hey, hey.
Easy, easy, girl.
I'm talking about god.
Oh, yes... him.
- Well, he definitely
- sent me a sign
So tomorrow I'm going
to the north hills church.
Lisa, that's a wonderful idea.
- I been thinking
- about trying another church.
We'll all go.
All?
- God didn't say nothing
- about no all.
- And besides, church is no place
- for the family.
Lisa, don't be silly.
Remember, a family that prays
together stays together.
Yeah, well, why can't y'all
stays together at home?
So...
So...
Tamera, you look cold.
We could turn up the heat.
Yes, we could.
- -Hey, is that a raccoon?
- -Where?
Ow! My eye!
Tia, I really like
this guy a lot
but I get the feeling
there's someone else.
Another woman?
Whoa, if someone
messed with my man,
girlfriend's going down.
Now, you see, my guy...
- Ah, you know, Lisa,
- this was a wonderful idea.
- It's about time we did
- more things as a family.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah,
- just don't sit near me.
I want to go up front.
- I want to be closer
- to the lord.
Tia, Tia, now,
honey, usually
- I would be all up
- in your business
- But I'm trying
- this new parenting thing
Called trust, so just tell me:
This mystery date of yours
- he was a gentleman,
- wasn't he?
Yeah, of course he was.
Although he did
try to kiss me.
But don't worry, mom.
I kept my eye on him.
Good, baby, 'cause you know,
men are animals.
Hey... Lisa's going on safari.
So, um...
- Inez,
- where are all these single men
- -you told me about?
- -Oh, right over there, dear.
That's Mr. and Mrs. Singlemen
and their lovely children
Inez: Reggie, Oliver...
-what?
- But I came here to meet
- an unmarried man.
- Well,
- if you meet one, honey,
Lock the door.
- Little old lady,
- I think you better run.
Reverend: And now, if you turn
to page 21 in your hymnals.
This song is one
of my personal favorites...
So, give.
- Who's your bumper buddy
- going to be?
Well, hang on to the pew.
It's Roger.
Roger?
Roger who?
How many Rogers do we know?
Well, I'm hoping
more than one
'cause Roger's
my bumper buddy.
You?
You're the other woman?
-No, you're the other woman.
-Girls...
Stand back, dad.
This could get ugly.
♪ I've got peace like a river
in my soul... ♪
Tia, tamera!
Please, ladies!
-He's my man.
-He's mine!
- -Oh, it's on, sister-girl.
- -You got that right!
- I'm about to double
- my wardrobe.
- -Excuse me?
- -Yes!
- You shouldn't
- have said that to me!
- I would never
- have came here...
- Let go of me!
- Take your hands off me!
She lied!
♪ I've got peace like a river
in my soul... ♪
Fighting in church...
- I've never been so embarrassed
- in all my life!
- Especially when the reverend
- took out a cell phone
And threatened to call 911!
What do you have to say?
I don't want to hear it!
Your behavior was appalling!
You are so right, ray.
You girls ought to be ashamed.
I'm talking about you too.
- Well, I didn't start it.
- That old biddy gave me a wedgy.
Yeah, and Tia's trying
to steal my boyfriend.
Wrong! Tamera's trying
to steal my boyfriend.
He's mine!
Well, excuse me
while I go knock
some sense into her.
- Wait a minute. You two
- are seeing the same guy?
We have to discuss this.
- Come back down here,
- young laddies!
I mean business this time!
I want you right down here!
This used to mean something.
Oh, ray, don't get
your boxers in a bunch.
- Ooh, trust me...
- Doesn't feel too good.
Oh, so it's okay
if our daughters
are fighting over
a man in church?
Doesn't surprise me
coming from a woman
- who uses the house of god
- as a single's bar.
- Looking for a man in church
- does not make me a hussy.
- What do you think all those
- other women were there for?
Oh, that's ridiculous.
Those decent,
god-fearing women
are there looking
for a road to heaven.
All: Hi, ray.
Roger,
I brought your favorite.
- All right!
- Now I can get my soda on.
Roger,
you've got to talk to Tia.
She thinks you like her.
Isn't that ridiculous?
That's crazy.
Tamera, you know that
I only love you, baby.
- So, see you later
- at the car wash, bumper buddy.
Okay.
Bye, bumper buddy.
Hello, Roger.
- Um, I hope
- you were telling tamera
She's wasting her time.
Tia, you know that
I only love you, baby.
Do I smell barbecue nachos?
Mm-hmm.
These are for you.
- Thanks.
- So, see you later
- At the car wash,
- bumper buddy.
Okay.
'Bye, bumper buddy.
- Man! Do you realize
- you're going to have those two
Fighting over you
at the car wash today?
Oh, yeah...
Life is good.
Here you go, ray.
My special bean casserole.
Whoa.
Oh, boy.
Another bean casserole.
Tell you what.
- Why don't we freeze
- this till later?
- When was the last time this
- place had a good cleaning?
Oh...
You two are working it again?
We're just taking care
of this poor man.
Ray: Well...
That's very sweet of you,
Selma.
He's so starved
his clothes are practically
hanging off of him.
You wish.
And this house is a sty.
- Give me that.
- Give me that!
Give me that hoover.
I can do his cleaning for him.
And I can feed him too!
- -Well, thank you, Lisa.
- -Shut up.
Oh, that's my cobbler.
Might be my sweet potato pie.
Could be my pop tart.
Boy, Mr. Campbell
three women waiting on you.
This is all right.
Well, it ain't half bad.
- You know
- I was a little nervous
- About you finding out,
- but now, ,
- After seeing you
- with all your women
I realize we're two of a kind.
What are you talking about?
- Tia and tamera...
- I'm dating them both.
- Wait a minute. You're the boy?
- The reason they're fighting?
They're fighting over me?
Give me five up top, bro.
You going to leave me
hanging, Mr. Campbell?
- I am the man, right,
- Mr. Campbell?
Yeah. The dead man!
-Hey, is that a raccoon?
I know where you live!
No, you didn't!
Little old lady, you did not
throw out my bacon fat.
You got to go home.
Get out. Get out of here.
- Get out of here. Out!
- You, too!
- Oh... just as soon
- as you finish those delicates.
I do not want any pew-hopping,
casserole-bringing
man-hunting hussies in here
messing around with my...
Kitchen.
- If anything
- is going to be heated up
It's going to be done by me.
- Lisa,
- if I didn't know any better
- I'd say you were
- a little jealous.
Me? Jealous?
Ooh, that's a good one, ray.
I see.
You know, that bean casserole
made me a little thirsty.
I could sure use
a glass of milk.
Could you?
How about a couple
cookies to go with that?
Oh, I could go for that.
- Good. While you in there,
- get me some peach cobbler.
Excuse me.
You're washing my section.
This is my section.
- -No, it's not!
- -Yes, it is!
Tia!
I knew him first!
Yeah, and you didn't want him!
You didn't want him either!
You didn't want him first!
- Both: All right,
- all right, all right!
Tia, Roger loves me,
so just get over it.
No, Roger loves me.
Mm-mm!
Hey, are you guys
talking about Roger Evans?
Both: Yeah! He loves me!
- Oh, no he doesn't.
- He loves me.
Both: What?
Wait a minute.
Roger said he loved me.
-No, me.
-He said me.
Tamera: Wait a minute.
Roger went out with all of you?
Girls: Uh-huh!
Tia...
We have been so stupid.
I know.
Tamera, we shouldn't
be fighting each other.
Right.
You take the five on the left.
I'll take the little one.
-No, no, no, tamera.
-What?
They're not the enemy.
The enemy is...
Hey, my little bumper buddies.
Miss me?
Not from this distance.
I'm so glad we're back
to being best friends.
Yeah, and we're never
going to let a man
come between us again.
Hi, girls.
- Roger,
- what are you doing here?
- Yeah, and why are you coming in
- through the window?
- Uh, I didn't want
- to disturb your dad.
He is asleep, right?
I think so.
I hope so.
- Girls,
- I just wanted to let you know
That I'm sorry if I hurt you.
I was just trying to be cool
and I acted like a fool.
You girls deserve to be treated
with decency and respect.
Thanks, Roger.
So will you forgive me?
Both: We forgive you, Roger.
Good, 'cause I got a box
of tic tacs and time to kill.
Both: Go home, Roger!
Roger:
A little help here, people.
Ray, it's 4:00 in the morning.
- You going to get me
- that peach cobbler?
- Nope.
- You going to get me some milk?
Nope.
- Then, what we have
- is a stalemate.
Hmm, you got that right.
If we both jump up
on the count of three
- then nobody wins,
- nobody loses.
Good, 'cause I got to go potty.
Both: One, two, three!
- So, ray, you going to get me
- that peach cobbler or what?