Sister, Sister (1994–1999): Season 3, Episode 6 - The Twins Get Fired - full transcript

Hello. Welcome to rocket burger,

home of the big bang burger

and Jupiter-sized fries.

How may I help you?

I'll have the neptuna melt.

Oh, and give me

the saturn onion rings.

Excellent choice.

- May I suggest
- the astro apple pie for dessert?

It's out of this world.

Yeah, give me some pie.



Way to push

the apple pie, Tia.

It's getting

a little green.

- I thought it was supposed
- to be that color.

Yeah, good.

- That's what
- you tell the customers.

Oh.

You know, I've been

watching you

and you have real

management potential

unlike the other

half of the egg.



♪ Lettuce, Mayo, pickles

on a slab of meat ♪

I think that's kind

of cute, Mr. Woodman.

Maybe. But the lunar lunch

is onion, avocado

and bacon on a slab of COD.

♪ Talk about a two-way twister

♪ shakin' up the family tree

with sibling synchronicity ♪

♪ never knew how

much I missed ya ♪

♪ I ain't ever gonna

let you go! ♪

- ♪Never knew
- how much I missed ya ♪

♪ I ain't ever gonna

let you go ♪

Tia?

We just got an opening

at the executive level.

How would you like

to be my assistant manager?

Me?

Yes.

Assistant manager?

Wow!

- But what about
- Mr. Spooner?

Isn't he assistant manager?

- You mean pops?
- He's no longer with the company.

Oh, well, that's too bad.

I'd like to send him

a nice, little note.

Do you have his address?

Mount bethel cemetery.

It's the last time I put

one of the old guys

on playground detail.

Here's your assistant

manager shirt.

Wow!

The gold shirt!

This wasn't pops', was it?

No, no, he requested

to be buried in his.

Oh.

Anyway, you start tomorrow.

Yes.

Hey, Denise.

I hate this job.

If my dog didn't need

surgery, I'd bail.

Denise, I've just been promoted

to assistant manager.

Gold shirt?

So have you told tamera?

Not yet.

It's going to be a way

harsh blow to her ego.

I'm excelling, and she isn't.

Denise, would you mind telling

tamera about my promotion?

I don't want her to think

I'm rubbing it in.

You are so sensitive.

Hey, Denise.

How's your dog?

They're flying in

the voice box today, thanks.

They found a donor beagle.

- Listen, I have something
- to tell you.

What is it?

Woodman chose

a new assistant manager.

Oh, no.

Who is it?

It's Tia.

Just take a couple

of deep breaths.

Yes!!

From now on, this is going

to be an easy gig.

Tia wouldn't dare boss me around

like pops did.

Oh, my life is good.

Tia, did I tell you

you look majorly cool

in that shirt?

Oh, this?

I forgot I had it on.

Tamera, I'm so glad

- you're taking
- my promotion so well.

I want you to know...

If you need anything,

I'll be there for you.

Great.

- Can you be there
- for me tomorrow?

I don't think I'm coming in.

Sure, as long as you have

a good excuse.

Of course I do.

There's a ricki lake

I've got to see.

Thanks, sis.

You're a lamb.

Oh, hi, Roger.

Hi, Tia.

- I'm here to apply
- for a job.

- Why don't you come
- to rocket burger?

- What are the chances
- you'll be in your pajamas there?

Fine, Roger.

I'll talk to Mr. Woodman

and put in a good word.

- I'm not
- promising anything.

- Thanks, and by the way,
- I can handle

- All the sexual harassment
- you can dish out.

- I am so glad
- you enjoyed yourself, Lisa.

It's not very many women who can

appreciate an organ concerto.

Is that what that was?

- All those years hearing it
- at the roller rink

I never thought to ask.

- And I'm very glad
- you moved into the mall.

When you walked

into my shop

it felt like the fates

had sent you there.

- I was sent by the Johnsons
- from garters galore.

- They said you
- had a bathroom.

- You know, it was my
- grandfather Frederick's dream

To open an organ store.

- Like so many
- visionaries, though

He was not very good

at business.

- I was the one who
- suggested that we expand

Into the clavichord

and spinet market.

Ooh, I just love a man

who's so passionate

about his work.

Want a peanut?

Thank you.

Lisa...

- How would you like
- to come with me

- To the John tesh
- concert Friday night?

I've got great seats.

- Actually, I've got a deal
- on a whole row.

How about it?

Don't you hear enough

of that music in the mall?

Hi, mom.

Guess what?

I've just been promoted

to assistant manager.

Congratulations, honey.

Thanks, mommy.

Good night.

Good night, baby.

That's my daughter.

- I didn't know
- you had a daughter.

Yeah.

- So, anyway, maybe we should
- do something else

Besides the John tesh concert,

you know, like anything else.

Hi, Lisa.

Hi, ray.

Oh, ray? This is Greg.

Oh, hi there.

Hi.

So... um...

- Who's the guy
- in the robe?

Just a guy I live with,

so let's go to the movies.

Whoa, wait a minute.

This guy, ray

- who lives here
- and walks around in a bathrobe

Are you and he,

you know?

- What?!
- You think ray and I..?

No way.

Have you seen my laundry?

- Your underwear is right there
- in the washing machine

Right next to my pantyhose.

Well, I didn't see them.

- Well, maybe...
- Oh, I'll get them.

Excuse me, Greg.

So, are you Lisa's brother?

No.

Good night, daddy.

Good night, honey.

- Here's your underwear, ray,
- and next time

- Don't put that red sweatshirt in
- with my stuff.

Now I got two pink bras.

Well, thank you.

Good night, Greg.

Uh...

So...

Wait a minute.

He's a dad.

Yeah.

And you're a mom.

Uh-huh.

You're not married.

Right.

I'm out of here.

It sounds funny,

but I can explain it.

Oh, don't bother.

- I'm an organ salesman,
- but I'm no fool.

Good night.

Oh, you no fool, huh?

You the one who bought

John tesh tickets.

Roger, what took you so long

to clean the woman's bathroom?

- I wanted to make
- a good impression.

Besides, it took me a while

to write my number

on all the stalls.

Well, go wash it off.

Oh, I was just kidding.

Go wash it off!

Okay.

Well, that's done.

I'm off to a seminar now...

"e. Coli bacteria:

"Don't let it eat away

at your profits

or your customers."

- By the way, i'm
- expecting a shipment

Of frozen, meat-like patties.

- Just have them stack it
- in the freezer.

Will do, sir.

Well, I'm going

to blast off now.

Bye-bye!

Denise, get up

- and get on
- that fry machine.

You, too, tamera.

Ah-ah-ah.

- Aren't you two
- forgetting something?

Hair nets?

No way.

Not happening.

After this,

check under the tables

for gum and other

foreign objects.

I think I hate your sister.

I hate her too.

This hair net makes me

look silly.

Sillier.

Oh, tamera?

Come out, come out

wherever you are.

There's no more work.

Oh-oh, thank goodness.

I couldn't hold

my breath any longer

- and some fat kid
- was jumping on my head

For the past 20 minutes.

- Tamera, I want
- you to close up

- And don't forget
- the closing checklist.

I've got to go to the bank

and make a deposit.

Denise, do I have this straight?

Close up, go home, sleep.

Yeah, that's it.

- I fixed that hole in the wall
- in the girls bathroom.

What hole?

Uh, never mind. I'm off.

- Oh, let's get out
- of here, Denise.

- Oh, what about
- the closing checklist?

Oh.

Okay, "burner off," check.

- "Freezer door closed," check.
- "Alarm on," check.

Blah blah blah, check.

Blah blah blah...

It's done!

Let's get out of here.

( Organ playing different

( varieties of music )

- Sir, please,
- don't play with the...

Oh, it's you.

I barely recognized

you with clothes on.

Look, Greg, Greg...

- I came down here
- because I thought

- I should explain
- a few things.

- There is nothing going on
- between Lisa and me

Except two single parents

- raising two
- very different daughters

Who happen to be twins.

Twins.

Right. Lisa adopted Tia

and I adopted tamera.

- We didn't know
- that they had a twin sister

Until they were teenagers

and accidently bumped into

one another at the mall.

- So if you and Lisa
- want to go out

- You should feel
- perfectly comfortable.

I was going to go

and talk to Lisa.

She'd be glad about that.

- Until you came in here
- with that ridiculous story.

Wait, wait. That story

is not all that ridic...

Well, it does border

on the absurd

but it is true.

If you'll excuse me,

I have a wurlitzer to repipe.

Ray, what are you doing

over there?

- Well, you know,
- I said I was going

To go over and talk to Greg,

and, well, I did, and I...

Well? So how'd it go?

- It didn't work out
- too well.

- As a matter of fact,
- I think I made matters worse.

I'm sorry.

- Oh, well, don't
- worry about it.

- I'll just talk
- to him later.

Oh, excuse me.

Hello. Fashions by Lisa.

Oh, hi, Lester.

- It's Lester
- from security.

- Yeah, what's up?
- Did I illegally park my car...

What?

Who told you that?

I am not living with twin men.

I'm living with one man

and we have twins.

No. No, that's not what I mean.

I mean that we don't have twins.

I have one and he has one

- but we didn't have them
- together.

Huh? Hello?

I can't be seen with you.

Get away from me.

- Who's going
- to see us?

The security cameras

can see us.

Lisa, this is ridiculous.

- Who would think
- that I would be interested

In a woman like you?

I know, ray, but just...

Wait a minute.

What's so ridiculous about it?

Nothing. It's just that our

backgrounds are so different.

- What's that
- supposed to mean?

- Just forget
- I said anything.

I know what you're saying.

- You're saying
- that you're too good for me.

- No, I am not
- saying that.

- I would never say
- I was too good for you.

- Of course not.
- That would be ridiculous.

I mean...

I didn't mean that.

What I meant...

Yes, you did.

No, really...

- Ray, would you
- please leave.

- I would like
- to explain...

I think you made yourself

perfectly clear.

If you won't leave,

I will.

Lisa, listen,

what I was trying...

So I'm sitting at the vet

with my dog

and this really fine guy, Jason,

walks in with a duck...

What is that awful smell?

It's not really a smell.

It's more like a...

An odor.

It's not an odor.

It's a stench.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

Smells like...

Rotting meat-like stuff.

Oh, no!

Denise, please tell me

- tamera closed the freezer door
- before locking up last night.

2,000 meat-like patties ruined!

Tia!

Why wasn't

the freezer door closed?

But I told...

Sir, I'm the assistant manager

and I will assume

full responsibility

- and from now on
- I will make sure

- That the freezer door
- is always closed.

- Not unless they have
- a freezer door

- Down at the
- unemployment office.

What are you saying, sir?

You're fired!

Tia: Mom, I feel

like such a failure.

It was my first real job

and I got fired.

- So tell me, what happened
- at the rocket burger?

Some employee

did something really stupid

and as assistant manager,

I took full responsibility.

Well, that is a very

admirable quality.

- I'm very proud
- of you, honey.

Thanks, mom.

By the way

you going to tell tamera

that you covered for her?

Nah. I think I'll just keep it

to myself.

It's your call.

Tia, I just found out.

I've never been so angry

in my life.

They can't fire you.

Thanks, tamera, but it's okay.

- Tia, to protest the injustice
- that you suffered

I want you to know

that I plan to quit.

I appreciate that, Roger

- but you won't get
- any points with me.

Well, I got to get back

to work before I get

in trouble.

What were you fired for?

Nothing.

Just stuff.

- Well, Tia,
- I just want you to know

That I told Mr. Woodman

exactly how I felt

about the whole thing.

Tamera, don't jeopardize

your job over me.

I told woodman that he made

a gigantic mistake in firing you

and that he'll have to look

long and hard to find someone

to fill your shoes.

He offered me the job,

but I told him

- I absolutely wouldn't consider
- taking it.

Tamera, you should take it.

It's a good opportunity for you.

Then I thought about it

and I told him, "okay!"

Tamera, look

at these tables.

They're a mess.

Clean them up.

Yes, sir.

Just doing some p.R. Work

for the company.

- I'll take care
- of it personally.

Denise, get out here

and clean these tables.

I'm busy and you're right there.

Why can't you do it?

Because I'm management

and you're labor

and management

always tells labor what to do.

- Now move it!
- Hup-hup-hup!

- Oh, miss,
- my French fries are cold.

Oh, I'll take care

of that personally.

- Roger, I need
- some hot fries.

But I was just going

- to mop up
- the girls bathroom.

- Roger, I think five times a day
- is enough.

- Why don't you mop
- the men's bathroom for once?

Why? It's dirty in there.

Hi.

What are you doing here?

I came by to pick up

my last check.

So, how are things going?

Oh, an executive nightmare.

Last assistant manager left me

with nothing but headaches.

Oops. Sorry.

What about my refill?

- You promised me you'd bring it
- an hour ago.

See what I mean, Tia.

I have to do everything myself.

Roger, refill.

Gosh, everybody's busy.

Maybe I should

get my check later.

No, no, don't leave.

Stay. Talk.

Bus some tables.

I'll see you at home later.

Anyway, like I was

telling you before...

It's about time.

Miss, my refill?

How about my fries?

Denise!

Denise! Where are you?!

Denise, what are you doing?

Taking my break.

We need help

at the counter.

- Why don't you
- ever pitch in?

Excuse me?

Is your shirt gold?

Oh, no, it isn't, is it?

But look.

My shirt is gold.

I guess that's why I

don't have to pitch in.

Tia had a gold shirt

and she always helped out.

Well, she was fired.

She obviously didn't

have all the answers.

Come on. Get out.

Get to work.

Gosh.

Tia never should've taken

the fall for you.

Excuse me?

Nothing.

- Denise, what do you mean
- by that?

The only reason

that Tia got fired

was because you forgot to close

the freezer door

- and ruined
- all the meat-like patties.

She told woodman

it was her fault.

"Dear ray, there is a delicious

leftover pot roast in

- the fridge
- "but you can't have any

- "because it's probably
- not good enough for you.

Drop dead. Lisa 'i'm-not-good-

enough-for-you' Landry."

Oh. It's you.

- Lisa, this has gone
- far enough.

It's got to stop.

We have to rectify

the situation.

You know, that means

patch things up.

I know what that means.

Oh, see? There I go again

being condescending.

- You know, talking
- down to you.

- If you do that
- one more time, ray

I will annihilate you.

- That means, you know,
- kill you.

Listen, Lisa,

I've given a lot of thought

- to what I said to you,
- and I was wrong.

- You're just as good a person
- as I am.

- That's very nice, ray,
- but stop right there...

No, no, I've got something

to say and I want to say it.

I can understand why people

think we're compatible.

- I mean, after all,
- you are a sexy

- Beautiful
- and intelligent woman

- And I would be lucky
- to have a woman like you

In my life.

Ray, that's so sweet.

Lisa, can I give you

a hand with those drinks?

I knew it!

Oh, Greg, wait now!

We got to rectify this.

You know, fix it!

Hi.

How come you're

not at work?

I told Mr. Woodman

that it was all my fault

- and that I was the one
- who left the freezer door open

- And ruined
- all the meat-like patties

Then I quit.

Well, what did Mr. Woodman say?

Yes!

Well, thanks.

- You didn't have to
- do that, you know.

Yes, I did.

I owed you one.

Hey, do you think I

can get my job back?

- I don't know.
- It's possible.

I gave you

my highest recommendation.

I told woodman

that you taught me

everything I know

about running

a burger business.

- I'll go apply
- at the gap.

Good idea.

Ah, it's just as well.

It was a stupid job anyway.

I wonder what poor chump

he got to do it.

Hi, girls.

Guess what?

- Hey, I thought you were working
- at sir wiener.

Oh, I quit.

But you only started

two hours ago.

I know.

I would've quit earlier

- but I didn't want it
- to be obvious

That I only took the job

for this cool hat.