Sister, Sister (1994–1999): Season 3, Episode 4 - History a la Carte - full transcript
Tamera learns a lesson about skipping school when Ray reveals a dark secret from the past.
- Well, I've been giving this
- a lot of thought and
- I think we
- need to have
- Regular
- family meetings.
What do you mean?
- You know,
- an open forum
- Where we can discuss
- our feelings
In a Democratic process.
Now, I have the rules and
standard procedure right here.
Great idea, ray.
Who has any
new business?
Tamera?
I move we don't have
any more family meetings.
I second.
All in favor?
Well, I guess
that's it.
- So, y'all going
- to the mall?
♪ Talk about a
two-way twister ♪
♪ shakin' up the family tree
with sibling synchronicity ♪
♪ I ain't ever gonna
let you go! ♪
♪ Never knew
how much I missed ya ♪
♪ I ain't ever gonna
let you go! ♪
- Tia:
- Tamera, I can't believe
- You ditched our history
- class today.
- You are in so
- much trouble.
- I don't know
- how you do it.
If I ditched, I wouldn't
be able to live with myself.
Tia,
- it's just
- one little history class.
What difference does it make?
- Do you know
- how much history there is?
My conscience is totally clear.
- Hi, tamera.
- How was school?
- Okay, okay,
- I admit it!
I ditched history class today.
Do you have to give me
the third degree?
I am so disappointed in you.
What reason could you have
for ditching history class?
You want to know the reason?
Yes.
Well... I'll tell
you the reason.
See, I was all jazzed up
- about getting
- to history class
When all of a sudden,
I heard this crash outside
and a big, ugly thump.
A big thump?
Yes!
So I looked outside
and I saw this little child
on a bicycle.
Who...
Who obviously lost control
and-and ran into a fire hydrant.
So I went out there
to set his little broken arm
with a couple of rulers
and a scrunchie.
Then myself and a few onlookers
went to go get burritos.
You don't believe me?
I believe the burrito part.
You got a guacamole
stain on your blouse.
Tamera, don't you realize
- this will go
- on your permanent record?
Permanent record?
Yeah.
Your permanent record is stored
on a humongous computer
that's kept deep inside
a huge mountain in Montana.
Even if there's a nuclear war,
it won't be destroyed.
The only thing left
will be your permanent record
and cockroaches.
Uh, Tia...
Maybe I should speak
with tamera alone.
Oh, I understand.
It can be a little embarrassing.
No, we just don't want
to hear any more
of your goofy theories.
It's not a theory.
- Tia may have
- overstated just a tad
- But something
- like ditching class
- Does go on your
- permanent record.
- Won't tending
- to an injured child
- Look good
- on my permanent record?
You didn't really do that.
Oh, yeah.
You've got to stop
being so short-sighted.
- You got to look
- beyond today.
- Let me give
- you an example...
- Yesterday,
- I got a call
To drive the secretary
general of owando
and his delegation.
- Owando?
- Yeah.
Do you know why
- the secretary general
- of owando
- Called Ray's
- limousine service?
He needed a limo?
Tamera, remember
that little talk
about rhetorical questions?
Yeah?
Is that a rhetorical question?
Look, I happen
to have a reputation
for being a reliable,
stable individual.
That's why the
owandans call me.
Way to go, dad!
I'm so proud of you.
Well, see ya.
Tamera.
You're grounded.
One week, no television.
What will I do
while I'm doing my homework?
Homework.
Dad, that was
a rhetorical question.
Oh! Oh, ray.
Oh, I'm glad you're here.
- I want you
- to tell me something.
Now, tell me.
How much would you
pay for this?
Lisa, you know I'm not
really good at this.
You're a businessman.
You know quality and value.
- Don't let the fact
- that it's my creation
Influence what you say.
- I want you to be
- honest, objective
- And unbiased with me, okay?
- Okay.
Now, how much?
Sixty dollars.
Sixty dollars?!
Eighty.
For a Lisa Landry
designer original?
You are worse than
that low-life buyer
at Mr. Jeff's boutique.
- I can't wait
- till I get my own place
- So I don't have to deal
- with these people.
- Hang in there,
- save your money
- And one day you'll
- have your own shop.
Oh, by the way, ray...
- I won't be able
- to swing the rent this month.
Let's see,
since you've been here
that's been
every month in a row.
Well, then you should be
okay with that.
Hello.
Yes, this is Lisa.
Huh?
Oh... oh, that's a shame.
Oh.
Well, thank you.
Good-bye.
What's that all about?
Aunt Teresa died.
Oh, no!
It's horrible.
I can't believe this.
Wait a minute... I don't
have an aunt Teresa!
I know... I do.
Oh, Lisa, I'm sorry.
Look, that's okay.
It's all right. Thanks.
So, anyway, what
about this one?
- You don't seem
- too broken up about it.
About what?
Your dead aunt.
Oh...
- She wasn't the easiest
- to get close to
Unless you were a man.
She took up collecting men
after my uncle Albert died.
- You heard about the vamp
- from Savannah?
- This was the tramp
- from Savannah.
- Mobile, Charleston,
- Tallahassee...
- I got it.
- Memphis...
I got it!
- So I guess you won't
- be going to the funeral.
Not go?
That was my aunt Teresa.
How would that look?
- Honey, it was nice
- of you to come
- And pay your last respects
- to your great aunt.
Of course
I would be here, mom.
She's family.
What was her name again?
Teresa.
- Oh... I guess
- I better read up on her.
Mm-mmm...
A room full of
men and my aunt is horizontal.
Humph! I know
I'm in the right place.
Mom, I'm trying
real hard to feel sad.
Tell me something
about aunt Teresa.
- There's really
- not that much to tell.
She was a...
A friendly woman.
Man, I heard Teresa
had a lot of money.
Over fifty grand.
What else, mom?
- I'll tell you
- more later.
I wonder who
she left it to?
Some relative.
- I think it was
- a nephew.
No... no,
maybe it was a niece.
You mean the one
that was always broke?
Yeah, and with
all them kids.
Ooh, man.
No... no... I think
she only had one kid.
What was
that woman's name?
Hmm! Regina
or something.
No, no, it started
with an "l."
Leslie...
Uh, Laurie...
I know what it is.
It's Lisa.
Yes!
That must be Lisa.
Yes, she's finally
gone to glory!
Hallelujah!
Hi, tamera.
Hey, dad.
How was school today?
Don't ask.
My history teacher
went ballistic on me.
- To make up for ditching, I have
- to do an extra assignment.
- I hope you've
- learned your lesson.
I sure did.
Dad, can you write me a note
to get me out
of this extra assignment?
No, you're not getting out
of this one, young lady.
- Now, get back
- to your homework.
Okay.
What is that?
That's the I love Lucy theme.
I know what it is.
Why are you humming it?
Well, since you won't
let me watch TV
it helps me to do my homework
if I hum the songs.
♪ Dun dun dun-dun-dun-dun
da-da-da da-da-da da! ♪
Lucy's over.
Now what?
Shh!
Three's company is on.
Oh, good. Good.
- This is the episode
- where Jack
- Tries to get the girls
- into the hot tub
But he still has to prepare
the big dinner
for the restaurant critic.
Oh, I'll get it, dad.
Commercial's on.
Hello?
Um, just a minute.
It's for you!
It's the f.B.I.
- Dad, no matter
- what they say
I only ditched once.
Hello, Campbell here.
Certainly, I'll hold
for special agent sheldrake.
See, tamera, I was chosen
to drive the owandan delegation
because I have a clean...
Permanent record.
Hi, bill.
How's the prep?
Preparation.
Yeah.
I didn't clear security?
What's wrong with my record?
What is it, dad?
I was never arrested!
Oh, that.
- But that happened
- a long time ago.
I was in college.
Oh, come on, guys.
- But I've told
- all of my friends
I'm driving the secretary
general of owando!
Agh, ten-four.
That means "good-bye."
Tia was right.
There is a permanent record.
I got to go.
Uh-uh-uh, not
so fast, mister.
Why were you arrested?
Well, college campuses were
crazy places back in the '60s.
Were you one of those
anti-war demonstrators?
Well, everybody was doing it.
Now, does that
make it all right?
If everybody jumped
off a bridge, would you?
At this moment, yes.
You're not off the
hook yet, mister.
We'll have this talk later,
'cause my favorite show is on.
♪ Who was bringing up
three very lovely girls... ♪
Tia!
Tia, honey, where are you?
Come in here.
I got something for you.
Lots and lots of presents.
- So Lisa, when are you getting
- that inheritance check?
Why must the have-nots
be so bitter?
What is it, mom?
Honey, I got you
- the one thing
- in the whole world
That you've always wanted.
A computer with a
28.8 b.P.S. Modem
and cd-rom capability?
No, honey.
A Webster lunch box
with thermos capability.
I wanted this
when I was six.
I know, honey.
I always felt bad
- I couldn't get it
- that Christmas.
- I'm just making up
- for lost time.
- This is great, but I hope
- you don't expect me
- To bring my lunch
- to school in this.
No, of course not.
Good, because my friends
will think I'm a geek.
Not when they see this...
A Mr. Microphone.
Wow... it just keeps
getting better and better.
And that's not all.
Mom, please.
You don't have
to give me anything.
Wow... a Barbie dream boat.
Gimme!
Hey, tamera!
Look what I got!
- Lisa, it's wonderful
- that you finally have the money
- To do all the things
- you've wanted to do
- But when you get
- a windfall like this
- You should
- spend it wisely.
Oh, I am.
Yeah, Mr. Microphone,
Barbie's dream boat.
I mean, what is this?
Aunt Teresa.
Ew.
Sorry, but...
- Other than
- this lovely urn
- You've been
- spending your money
On whimsical things.
You should use it
to follow your dreams.
- So I guess you don't
- want this check
For that back rent?
Well, hey...
Yes, yes.
Thank you.
Oh, you're welcome.
You know,
I can't take it.
I mean, what about
that dream you have
of owning your own shop?
Here, take this back
- and use it
- to follow your dream.
Oh, well, thank you, ray.
Ray.
What?
You got to let it go.
Oh!
- Well, here's
- your opportunity.
Go for it.
Yeah, well, I'm going.
I am going.
When?
Well, it takes time...
Lots of leg work
- a little
- demographic research.
- It's not that easy to find
- a shop for rent, ray.
- I know, so when I was
- down at the northland mall
- I wrote down the number
- of a shop for rent.
Thank you, ray.
- Well, I'll call them
- next week.
Okay, fine.
Oh, I get it.
You think I won't
do it, don't you?
- You think
- that I'm afraid.
No. I don't think that.
- I'll show you.
- I'm going to call.
- I'll call right now.
- I can do it.
Call them anytime you like.
I'll call them right now.
Humph! I'm afraid.
I'll show you I'm not afraid.
Northland mall.
Sorry... right number.
He's mine!
- -Nuh-uh!
- -Uh-huh!
Stop being so selfish.
- You don't need him
- like I do.
Oh, be quiet.
- Ray:
- Hey, hey, hey!
Time out, come on, stop it.
Stop it.
- Now, I don't know
- who this guy is
But he's not worth it.
The bond between two sisters
- is stronger than any bond
- with any guy.
Is that clear?
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Now, who is this clown?
You, dad.
Oh. How sweet.
I told our history teacher
- that you would speak
- to our class
About your revolutionary
activities in the '60s.
It was my idea.
But I need the extra credit.
It's not fair, you
always need that credit.
- That's just one of the perks
- of being a goof-off.
Hey, hey, hey,
listen.
- I really would be happy
- to do it
- But I don't think
- I'll be able to make it.
Oh, yes, you will.
Your schedule's opened up a bit
- since you flunked
- your security clearance.
So, apparently, everybody
found out about your...
All:
Permanent record.
Oh, hi, mom.
Hey, Lisa.
Hello? Hello?
That's me.
Hello?
Yes, it's working.
Thank you.
- Hey, everybody,
- listen to this.
- Lisa:
- Hi, it's me.
- Sorry I'm not
- in my purse right now
- But if you leave your number,
- I'll call you back.
- Well, look,
- did you check down
- At the mall
- about that shop?
- No, no, no,
- but I'm going to
Just as soon as I learn
to call out on this thing.
Unbelievable.
- Young ladies,
- would you excuse us
For just a moment?
- Oh, sure.
- Okay.
I get it.
You really never intended
to rent that shop, did you?
- No, it was a lot of talk,
- wasn't it?
Wasn't it?
It sounds good
- but when you get
- right down to it
You don't have what it takes
to pull it off, do you?
No.
Huh?
I guess I don't.
What?
You were absolutely right.
I'm just a fake. I'm a fraud.
No, no, you're not.
Yes, I am.
No. I was just using
reverse psychology.
It usually works.
No. Okay, okay, I'm sorry.
Try it again, please.
I really want you to.
No. I better go.
That got rid of him.
Mom, you're not
a fraud or a fake.
You were listening?
Well, sure.
- When an adult
- tells you to leave
You got to listen.
I'll remember that.
Honey, I don't know anything
about running a real business.
I mean, who am I fooling?
- I think you've done
- quite well
- Out of the trunk
- of your car.
- And now with this phone
- in your purse
You're halfway there.
Tia, I'm out of my league.
The idea of...
Of owning my own store
being in charge,
it terrifies me.
Mom, do what you told me.
I was five years old
the first time you taught me
to face my fears head-on.
I was trying to get you
in the dentist's chair.
- That hand puppet thing
- wasn't working.
Well, it worked.
And now you have
to do the same thing.
I don't know.
This is a lot different.
Mr. Hand says...
Buy a store.
- There are many socioeconomic
- factors at work here.
Man, this is really boring.
- Now, that period of prosperity...
- If you will...
Ushered in the '70s.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
Sorry, Mr. Campbell.
Only one decade per speaker.
Any questions?
Come on, kids.
Get down with me, rap with me.
I have a question for you.
Fire away.
How much on a stretch limo
for the prom?
I'll fax you a price list.
Dad, why are you
being so modest?
You know, he was arrested during
a college demonstration.
- Ms. Young:
- Oh, really?
Could you tell us about it?
Unless that's dull too.
I'd rather not go into that.
- And the f.B.I. Still won't
- let him forget it.
You were a radical?
Radical!
No, I wasn't exactly a radical.
- You were arrested,
- weren't you?
Well, yeah, but...
No "buts," dad.
- Tell them,
- or it'll get ugly.
- Hey, were you one
- of those hippies?
Well, I was kind of groovy.
Well, my dad said
that those hippie weirdos
- were just trying
- to rip this country to shreds.
I wasn't that groovy.
So, what did you go to jail for?
- Did you take over
- the administration building?
No, no, no.
You blew up
- the r.O.T.C.
- Building, right?
No, no, no.
You one of those
- weirdos that kidnapped
- Patty hearst?
- He wouldn't do anything
- that terrible.
What did you do, man?
- You got to tell them
- what you did.
- I ran naked
- through the campus!
They called it streaking.
I was pledging this fraternity.
I'm not proud of what I did
and I'm still paying for it.
You ran around naked, ray?
I'm sorry, honey.
- Class:
- Cool!
Hi, mom.
We got the message.
What's the big surprise?
- Well, after putting money away
- to start Tia's college fund
I had 5,000 left over
to fulfill my dream.
You got the shop. Look.
Whoa! This is the bomb!
Well, actually...
Oh, this is great.
- You can take out
- that wall
- Put dressing rooms
- on the side.
No, but...
It's a great location.
- There's room
- for a nice window display.
This isn't my store.
- All:
- Good.
It's too small anyway.
You need a lot more room
for a window display.
Besides, this end
of the mall is dead.
- Right. How many
- dressing rooms
Can you get in there?
- Who'd want this store
- when you've got
- That stupid cart
- parked out front?
Where's your store?
This stupid cart...
Is my store!
- All:
- Better!
Well, there's plenty
of foot traffic here.
It's nice.
- You don't have to worry
- about window space.
- Yeah, and don't forget about all
- those dressing rooms.
- You got to admit
- it's a step up
- From the trunk
- of my car.
Exactly. One step up.
I'll have you know a store is a
very expensive proposition
with advertising, business cards
hangers, insurance...
Liability and collision.
This is all I could afford.
And I'm thrilled to own it.
Well, that's great, mom.
- Yeah, and we're
- proud of you.
- You're going to do great,
- I just know you are.
Yeah, I think so too.
I am here to stay.
Ooh!
It's a better location anyway.
Ray...
I just picked up
my new business cards.
I got 3,000 of these babies.
Well, let's see.
"Fashions by Lisa."
"Conveniently located
between the orange bang
and the gap."
- Oh, I forgot to tell you,
- the mall called.
They moved your cart
to the other side.
Oh, look, let me help you
with a few of those.
Hmm. Okay.
- a lot of thought and
- I think we
- need to have
- Regular
- family meetings.
What do you mean?
- You know,
- an open forum
- Where we can discuss
- our feelings
In a Democratic process.
Now, I have the rules and
standard procedure right here.
Great idea, ray.
Who has any
new business?
Tamera?
I move we don't have
any more family meetings.
I second.
All in favor?
Well, I guess
that's it.
- So, y'all going
- to the mall?
♪ Talk about a
two-way twister ♪
♪ shakin' up the family tree
with sibling synchronicity ♪
♪ I ain't ever gonna
let you go! ♪
♪ Never knew
how much I missed ya ♪
♪ I ain't ever gonna
let you go! ♪
- Tia:
- Tamera, I can't believe
- You ditched our history
- class today.
- You are in so
- much trouble.
- I don't know
- how you do it.
If I ditched, I wouldn't
be able to live with myself.
Tia,
- it's just
- one little history class.
What difference does it make?
- Do you know
- how much history there is?
My conscience is totally clear.
- Hi, tamera.
- How was school?
- Okay, okay,
- I admit it!
I ditched history class today.
Do you have to give me
the third degree?
I am so disappointed in you.
What reason could you have
for ditching history class?
You want to know the reason?
Yes.
Well... I'll tell
you the reason.
See, I was all jazzed up
- about getting
- to history class
When all of a sudden,
I heard this crash outside
and a big, ugly thump.
A big thump?
Yes!
So I looked outside
and I saw this little child
on a bicycle.
Who...
Who obviously lost control
and-and ran into a fire hydrant.
So I went out there
to set his little broken arm
with a couple of rulers
and a scrunchie.
Then myself and a few onlookers
went to go get burritos.
You don't believe me?
I believe the burrito part.
You got a guacamole
stain on your blouse.
Tamera, don't you realize
- this will go
- on your permanent record?
Permanent record?
Yeah.
Your permanent record is stored
on a humongous computer
that's kept deep inside
a huge mountain in Montana.
Even if there's a nuclear war,
it won't be destroyed.
The only thing left
will be your permanent record
and cockroaches.
Uh, Tia...
Maybe I should speak
with tamera alone.
Oh, I understand.
It can be a little embarrassing.
No, we just don't want
to hear any more
of your goofy theories.
It's not a theory.
- Tia may have
- overstated just a tad
- But something
- like ditching class
- Does go on your
- permanent record.
- Won't tending
- to an injured child
- Look good
- on my permanent record?
You didn't really do that.
Oh, yeah.
You've got to stop
being so short-sighted.
- You got to look
- beyond today.
- Let me give
- you an example...
- Yesterday,
- I got a call
To drive the secretary
general of owando
and his delegation.
- Owando?
- Yeah.
Do you know why
- the secretary general
- of owando
- Called Ray's
- limousine service?
He needed a limo?
Tamera, remember
that little talk
about rhetorical questions?
Yeah?
Is that a rhetorical question?
Look, I happen
to have a reputation
for being a reliable,
stable individual.
That's why the
owandans call me.
Way to go, dad!
I'm so proud of you.
Well, see ya.
Tamera.
You're grounded.
One week, no television.
What will I do
while I'm doing my homework?
Homework.
Dad, that was
a rhetorical question.
Oh! Oh, ray.
Oh, I'm glad you're here.
- I want you
- to tell me something.
Now, tell me.
How much would you
pay for this?
Lisa, you know I'm not
really good at this.
You're a businessman.
You know quality and value.
- Don't let the fact
- that it's my creation
Influence what you say.
- I want you to be
- honest, objective
- And unbiased with me, okay?
- Okay.
Now, how much?
Sixty dollars.
Sixty dollars?!
Eighty.
For a Lisa Landry
designer original?
You are worse than
that low-life buyer
at Mr. Jeff's boutique.
- I can't wait
- till I get my own place
- So I don't have to deal
- with these people.
- Hang in there,
- save your money
- And one day you'll
- have your own shop.
Oh, by the way, ray...
- I won't be able
- to swing the rent this month.
Let's see,
since you've been here
that's been
every month in a row.
Well, then you should be
okay with that.
Hello.
Yes, this is Lisa.
Huh?
Oh... oh, that's a shame.
Oh.
Well, thank you.
Good-bye.
What's that all about?
Aunt Teresa died.
Oh, no!
It's horrible.
I can't believe this.
Wait a minute... I don't
have an aunt Teresa!
I know... I do.
Oh, Lisa, I'm sorry.
Look, that's okay.
It's all right. Thanks.
So, anyway, what
about this one?
- You don't seem
- too broken up about it.
About what?
Your dead aunt.
Oh...
- She wasn't the easiest
- to get close to
Unless you were a man.
She took up collecting men
after my uncle Albert died.
- You heard about the vamp
- from Savannah?
- This was the tramp
- from Savannah.
- Mobile, Charleston,
- Tallahassee...
- I got it.
- Memphis...
I got it!
- So I guess you won't
- be going to the funeral.
Not go?
That was my aunt Teresa.
How would that look?
- Honey, it was nice
- of you to come
- And pay your last respects
- to your great aunt.
Of course
I would be here, mom.
She's family.
What was her name again?
Teresa.
- Oh... I guess
- I better read up on her.
Mm-mmm...
A room full of
men and my aunt is horizontal.
Humph! I know
I'm in the right place.
Mom, I'm trying
real hard to feel sad.
Tell me something
about aunt Teresa.
- There's really
- not that much to tell.
She was a...
A friendly woman.
Man, I heard Teresa
had a lot of money.
Over fifty grand.
What else, mom?
- I'll tell you
- more later.
I wonder who
she left it to?
Some relative.
- I think it was
- a nephew.
No... no,
maybe it was a niece.
You mean the one
that was always broke?
Yeah, and with
all them kids.
Ooh, man.
No... no... I think
she only had one kid.
What was
that woman's name?
Hmm! Regina
or something.
No, no, it started
with an "l."
Leslie...
Uh, Laurie...
I know what it is.
It's Lisa.
Yes!
That must be Lisa.
Yes, she's finally
gone to glory!
Hallelujah!
Hi, tamera.
Hey, dad.
How was school today?
Don't ask.
My history teacher
went ballistic on me.
- To make up for ditching, I have
- to do an extra assignment.
- I hope you've
- learned your lesson.
I sure did.
Dad, can you write me a note
to get me out
of this extra assignment?
No, you're not getting out
of this one, young lady.
- Now, get back
- to your homework.
Okay.
What is that?
That's the I love Lucy theme.
I know what it is.
Why are you humming it?
Well, since you won't
let me watch TV
it helps me to do my homework
if I hum the songs.
♪ Dun dun dun-dun-dun-dun
da-da-da da-da-da da! ♪
Lucy's over.
Now what?
Shh!
Three's company is on.
Oh, good. Good.
- This is the episode
- where Jack
- Tries to get the girls
- into the hot tub
But he still has to prepare
the big dinner
for the restaurant critic.
Oh, I'll get it, dad.
Commercial's on.
Hello?
Um, just a minute.
It's for you!
It's the f.B.I.
- Dad, no matter
- what they say
I only ditched once.
Hello, Campbell here.
Certainly, I'll hold
for special agent sheldrake.
See, tamera, I was chosen
to drive the owandan delegation
because I have a clean...
Permanent record.
Hi, bill.
How's the prep?
Preparation.
Yeah.
I didn't clear security?
What's wrong with my record?
What is it, dad?
I was never arrested!
Oh, that.
- But that happened
- a long time ago.
I was in college.
Oh, come on, guys.
- But I've told
- all of my friends
I'm driving the secretary
general of owando!
Agh, ten-four.
That means "good-bye."
Tia was right.
There is a permanent record.
I got to go.
Uh-uh-uh, not
so fast, mister.
Why were you arrested?
Well, college campuses were
crazy places back in the '60s.
Were you one of those
anti-war demonstrators?
Well, everybody was doing it.
Now, does that
make it all right?
If everybody jumped
off a bridge, would you?
At this moment, yes.
You're not off the
hook yet, mister.
We'll have this talk later,
'cause my favorite show is on.
♪ Who was bringing up
three very lovely girls... ♪
Tia!
Tia, honey, where are you?
Come in here.
I got something for you.
Lots and lots of presents.
- So Lisa, when are you getting
- that inheritance check?
Why must the have-nots
be so bitter?
What is it, mom?
Honey, I got you
- the one thing
- in the whole world
That you've always wanted.
A computer with a
28.8 b.P.S. Modem
and cd-rom capability?
No, honey.
A Webster lunch box
with thermos capability.
I wanted this
when I was six.
I know, honey.
I always felt bad
- I couldn't get it
- that Christmas.
- I'm just making up
- for lost time.
- This is great, but I hope
- you don't expect me
- To bring my lunch
- to school in this.
No, of course not.
Good, because my friends
will think I'm a geek.
Not when they see this...
A Mr. Microphone.
Wow... it just keeps
getting better and better.
And that's not all.
Mom, please.
You don't have
to give me anything.
Wow... a Barbie dream boat.
Gimme!
Hey, tamera!
Look what I got!
- Lisa, it's wonderful
- that you finally have the money
- To do all the things
- you've wanted to do
- But when you get
- a windfall like this
- You should
- spend it wisely.
Oh, I am.
Yeah, Mr. Microphone,
Barbie's dream boat.
I mean, what is this?
Aunt Teresa.
Ew.
Sorry, but...
- Other than
- this lovely urn
- You've been
- spending your money
On whimsical things.
You should use it
to follow your dreams.
- So I guess you don't
- want this check
For that back rent?
Well, hey...
Yes, yes.
Thank you.
Oh, you're welcome.
You know,
I can't take it.
I mean, what about
that dream you have
of owning your own shop?
Here, take this back
- and use it
- to follow your dream.
Oh, well, thank you, ray.
Ray.
What?
You got to let it go.
Oh!
- Well, here's
- your opportunity.
Go for it.
Yeah, well, I'm going.
I am going.
When?
Well, it takes time...
Lots of leg work
- a little
- demographic research.
- It's not that easy to find
- a shop for rent, ray.
- I know, so when I was
- down at the northland mall
- I wrote down the number
- of a shop for rent.
Thank you, ray.
- Well, I'll call them
- next week.
Okay, fine.
Oh, I get it.
You think I won't
do it, don't you?
- You think
- that I'm afraid.
No. I don't think that.
- I'll show you.
- I'm going to call.
- I'll call right now.
- I can do it.
Call them anytime you like.
I'll call them right now.
Humph! I'm afraid.
I'll show you I'm not afraid.
Northland mall.
Sorry... right number.
He's mine!
- -Nuh-uh!
- -Uh-huh!
Stop being so selfish.
- You don't need him
- like I do.
Oh, be quiet.
- Ray:
- Hey, hey, hey!
Time out, come on, stop it.
Stop it.
- Now, I don't know
- who this guy is
But he's not worth it.
The bond between two sisters
- is stronger than any bond
- with any guy.
Is that clear?
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Now, who is this clown?
You, dad.
Oh. How sweet.
I told our history teacher
- that you would speak
- to our class
About your revolutionary
activities in the '60s.
It was my idea.
But I need the extra credit.
It's not fair, you
always need that credit.
- That's just one of the perks
- of being a goof-off.
Hey, hey, hey,
listen.
- I really would be happy
- to do it
- But I don't think
- I'll be able to make it.
Oh, yes, you will.
Your schedule's opened up a bit
- since you flunked
- your security clearance.
So, apparently, everybody
found out about your...
All:
Permanent record.
Oh, hi, mom.
Hey, Lisa.
Hello? Hello?
That's me.
Hello?
Yes, it's working.
Thank you.
- Hey, everybody,
- listen to this.
- Lisa:
- Hi, it's me.
- Sorry I'm not
- in my purse right now
- But if you leave your number,
- I'll call you back.
- Well, look,
- did you check down
- At the mall
- about that shop?
- No, no, no,
- but I'm going to
Just as soon as I learn
to call out on this thing.
Unbelievable.
- Young ladies,
- would you excuse us
For just a moment?
- Oh, sure.
- Okay.
I get it.
You really never intended
to rent that shop, did you?
- No, it was a lot of talk,
- wasn't it?
Wasn't it?
It sounds good
- but when you get
- right down to it
You don't have what it takes
to pull it off, do you?
No.
Huh?
I guess I don't.
What?
You were absolutely right.
I'm just a fake. I'm a fraud.
No, no, you're not.
Yes, I am.
No. I was just using
reverse psychology.
It usually works.
No. Okay, okay, I'm sorry.
Try it again, please.
I really want you to.
No. I better go.
That got rid of him.
Mom, you're not
a fraud or a fake.
You were listening?
Well, sure.
- When an adult
- tells you to leave
You got to listen.
I'll remember that.
Honey, I don't know anything
about running a real business.
I mean, who am I fooling?
- I think you've done
- quite well
- Out of the trunk
- of your car.
- And now with this phone
- in your purse
You're halfway there.
Tia, I'm out of my league.
The idea of...
Of owning my own store
being in charge,
it terrifies me.
Mom, do what you told me.
I was five years old
the first time you taught me
to face my fears head-on.
I was trying to get you
in the dentist's chair.
- That hand puppet thing
- wasn't working.
Well, it worked.
And now you have
to do the same thing.
I don't know.
This is a lot different.
Mr. Hand says...
Buy a store.
- There are many socioeconomic
- factors at work here.
Man, this is really boring.
- Now, that period of prosperity...
- If you will...
Ushered in the '70s.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
Sorry, Mr. Campbell.
Only one decade per speaker.
Any questions?
Come on, kids.
Get down with me, rap with me.
I have a question for you.
Fire away.
How much on a stretch limo
for the prom?
I'll fax you a price list.
Dad, why are you
being so modest?
You know, he was arrested during
a college demonstration.
- Ms. Young:
- Oh, really?
Could you tell us about it?
Unless that's dull too.
I'd rather not go into that.
- And the f.B.I. Still won't
- let him forget it.
You were a radical?
Radical!
No, I wasn't exactly a radical.
- You were arrested,
- weren't you?
Well, yeah, but...
No "buts," dad.
- Tell them,
- or it'll get ugly.
- Hey, were you one
- of those hippies?
Well, I was kind of groovy.
Well, my dad said
that those hippie weirdos
- were just trying
- to rip this country to shreds.
I wasn't that groovy.
So, what did you go to jail for?
- Did you take over
- the administration building?
No, no, no.
You blew up
- the r.O.T.C.
- Building, right?
No, no, no.
You one of those
- weirdos that kidnapped
- Patty hearst?
- He wouldn't do anything
- that terrible.
What did you do, man?
- You got to tell them
- what you did.
- I ran naked
- through the campus!
They called it streaking.
I was pledging this fraternity.
I'm not proud of what I did
and I'm still paying for it.
You ran around naked, ray?
I'm sorry, honey.
- Class:
- Cool!
Hi, mom.
We got the message.
What's the big surprise?
- Well, after putting money away
- to start Tia's college fund
I had 5,000 left over
to fulfill my dream.
You got the shop. Look.
Whoa! This is the bomb!
Well, actually...
Oh, this is great.
- You can take out
- that wall
- Put dressing rooms
- on the side.
No, but...
It's a great location.
- There's room
- for a nice window display.
This isn't my store.
- All:
- Good.
It's too small anyway.
You need a lot more room
for a window display.
Besides, this end
of the mall is dead.
- Right. How many
- dressing rooms
Can you get in there?
- Who'd want this store
- when you've got
- That stupid cart
- parked out front?
Where's your store?
This stupid cart...
Is my store!
- All:
- Better!
Well, there's plenty
of foot traffic here.
It's nice.
- You don't have to worry
- about window space.
- Yeah, and don't forget about all
- those dressing rooms.
- You got to admit
- it's a step up
- From the trunk
- of my car.
Exactly. One step up.
I'll have you know a store is a
very expensive proposition
with advertising, business cards
hangers, insurance...
Liability and collision.
This is all I could afford.
And I'm thrilled to own it.
Well, that's great, mom.
- Yeah, and we're
- proud of you.
- You're going to do great,
- I just know you are.
Yeah, I think so too.
I am here to stay.
Ooh!
It's a better location anyway.
Ray...
I just picked up
my new business cards.
I got 3,000 of these babies.
Well, let's see.
"Fashions by Lisa."
"Conveniently located
between the orange bang
and the gap."
- Oh, I forgot to tell you,
- the mall called.
They moved your cart
to the other side.
Oh, look, let me help you
with a few of those.
Hmm. Okay.