Sister, Sister (1994–1999): Season 3, Episode 3 - The Tutor - full transcript

Tamera pretends to be tutor Tia to catch a football player's eye.

Tamera, I've got great news.

Me too. What's your news?

I signed up to be a tutor.

- I'll get extra credit
- and it'll help me

Earn points toward

the student abroad program.

You think that's good?

- I put money
- in the vending machine

- And I got an extra
- bag of chips!

Hey, l.J.

Hey...



- There's that new guy,
- l.j. Lamar.

Is he hot or what?

Hi, l.J.

I'm Roger, jock guy.

What team do you play on?

No, I'm not a jock.

I'm the jock guy.

I hand them out.

Equipment manager.

He's only been here for a week

and he's already captain of the

football team.

He doesn't even know you exist.

I know, but I'm going



to make him notice me.

Tamera, please. Not the old

gee-i-dropped-my-lunch move.

That is so lame.

It is, huh?

Watch and learn, my sister.

Feel stupid?

Not really.

This is your lunch.

♪ Talk about a two-way

twister ♪

♪ shakin' up the family tree

with sibling synchronicity ♪

♪ never knew how

much I missed ya ♪

♪ I ain't ever gonna

let you go! ♪

♪ Never knew

how much I missed ya ♪

♪ I ain't ever gonna

let you go ♪

Hi. How's business?

Oh! Not bad. Lots of orders.

Oh, good.

So, tell me, ray...

- Do you think a woman
- who showed up

- At her high school reunion
- in this dress

Will just make all the other

women die of envy?

Class reunions...

- Isn't it pathetic
- that some loser's

- Going to wear that dress
- and delude people into thinking

- She's done something
- with her sad little life?

- When in fact,
- her natural beauty alone

- Is enough to make those jerks
- eat their hearts out.

- Look, just because I'm wearing -
this dress I haven't eaten - Anything

- But, rice cakes and lettuce
- for the last two weeks

Doesn't mean I'm trying

to impress

a bunch of old girlfriends.

I'm sorry, Lisa.

I'm trying to impress a guy.

Right.

Not just any guy, either. Ray,

David Johnson.

Ooh!

He was cute and smart.

- He had a crush on me
- all during high school.

I never did anything about it.

You know I think I understand.

- When I was in high school,
- there was this girl...

- Yeah, sure you did. Sit down.
- This is my moment.

No, listen you don't have to

make a dress or lose weight

just to impress a man.

Really?

Oh, well, that's very...

What you need is a limo.

You know that is a good idea

- can you let me use one of your
- limos for the night?

I own a comany Donna.

When's the reunion?

Friday night.

Consider it done.

Oh, ray. Oh, ray.

This is really nice of you.

Well, it's because you're...

You're a friend.

Yeah, well, anyway, thanks.

It's funny isn't it,

how sometimes a terrific guy

somebody sensitive,

responsible, intelligent

can be right up under your nose

and you never even notice him?

- You mean that
- David Johnson guy, huh?

- No, I'm talking
- about somebody else.

Lisa stop right there.

- If you mean what
- I think you mean...

Howard feeny. Marching band.

- That boy could work
- a sousaphone.

Who did you think I meant?

Huh?

- Mom I've got an English test
- tomorrow.

I'm going to study

at the library.

- Well what's wrong
- with your room?

Tamera's doing

Jim carrey impressions

and playing hackysack

with a soda can.

Oh, Tia, please.

Smokin'!

Bye, mom.

Bye bye.

If I'm going to lose 12 pounds

in 72 hours I better go jog.

Tamera, aren't you

in Tia's English class?

All

righty then, dad.

- Don't you have a English test
- tomorrow

I think so.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure.

You know, you're right.

- Don't you have
- to pull your grades up?

Boy, I'll say.

Ooh, somebody stop me.

All right. I will.

- Why are you watching
- goof troop?

Because baywatch isn't on yet.

Hello?

Tamera, start studying. No TV.

All righty, then.

What's up? I'm l.J. Lamar.

- Coach Kelly gave me your name
- from the list of tutors.

I'm supposed to set up

a time with you

to help me study.

Uh, you're Tia Landry, right?

Unless there's somebody else

walking around with this face.

Uh... great.

'Cause I've got one week

to get my grades up

- or coach won't let me
- play in our first game.

- So, when can you
- start tutoring me?

Well, how about right now?

Cool.

Somebody stop me!

Okay, now the most

important thing

about learning

good study habits, l.J.

Is to create the proper

work environment.

For an example...

We need the right kind

of light to study by.

And a little music

to help us concentrate.

Hey, studying's kind of fun.

You know I always thought

you smart girls were...

I don't know... real serious.

Yeah, that's a common

miscon... stru... ization.

Have a seat.

- Why don't we start
- by quizzing you

- On some of the questions
- at the end of the chapter.

Cool.

Okay, number one...

- "a common rallying call
- of the American revolution

Was "no taxation without...?"

Receipts?

Correct!

Yes!

Okay, um...

Number two...

"compare and contrast

the causes and results

"of the American revolution

with those

of the French revolution."

No clue.

What's the answer?

Uh...

Well, uh...

The, uh... American revolution

started when the English king

placed a tax on tea

and coffee and orange juice.

- Pretty much
- all the breakfast drinks.

And the French revolution

however, started when...

Marie antoinette

and her husband...

King antoinette

said, "let... them eat cake."

You see the differences?

Tea, cake, food, beverages?

Wow.

I don't know if I'm going

to be able to keep up, Tia.

Don't worry.

I'll go slow.

What's going on here?

Sir, I'm l.J. Lamar.

I'm here for tutoring.

Oh, I see.

- May I speak with you a minute?
- Excuse us.

- Honey, I didn't know
- you were going to have a tutor.

That's great.

- I mean, I know how hard
- it is for you

To admit that you need help.

Hey, no use pretending

you're something

you're not, right?

Exactly.

Well, keep up the good work.

I'm doing my best, sir.

Check out tamera and l.J.

Unbelievable.

Just a few days ago

she threw my lunch

- in front of him,
- and he stepped on it.

Wow.

I've got to re-read

that article in sassy

on how to hook a hunk.

Hey, guys, have you

met my tutor?

- You're going to need
- a tutor, man.

I hear lindstrom's

giving us a pop quiz today.

No problem.

She taught me

everything she knows

about the American revolution.

- Yeah and you know it took
- me ten minutes.

Wow!

- Oh! You coming over
- to study again tonight?

- I'll bring my
- sega Jaguar this time.

Cool.

All right! I got a "d."

D-plus!

How did you do, l.J.?

Out of 100 questions,

I got three of them right.

- -Yes!
- -Yes!

- Hey, that tutor
- really helped, huh?

Helped? I got five right

on the last quiz.

She's making me dumber.

What's up, l.J.?

Thanks to Tia Landry

I won't be able

to play this season.

That's what.

Hey, you and l.J.

Are looking pretty

tight there, tamera.

- Yeah couldn't you just
- die, Tia.

I'm seeing the most

popular guy in school.

He's not my type.

- Besides, popularity
- isn't that important to me.

- Thanks for making this
- the worst year

- In the history
- of Roosevelt high.

Yeah, everybody in school

hates your guts, Tia.

Boy, you really don't care

about being popular.

I didn't do anything.

- I don't have a clue
- what's going on.

Hey, Denise.

Bite me.

Denise, that was harsh.

I'm sorry, Tia,

but if you're going

to tutor somebody

you should take the job

more seriously.

What are you talking about?

If l.J. Flunks history

he won't be able

to play all season.

But I'm not tutoring l.J. La...

Tamera!

Well, how do I look?

Lisa...

- Everyman you went
- to high school with

Is going to lie awake tonight

- tormenting himself
- because he let you slip away

- And reduce his life
- to a meaningless joke.

Oh, ray, you sure know

what to say to a woman.

Well, I said pretty much

the same thing to tamera

when she got her first zit.

Thanks.

Is the limo here yet?

The limo... yeah.

I mean, no. I mean...

Any minute now.

Oh, good.

- Did you get me a stretch
- or a town car?

Uh... a stretch, of course.

You know, full bar,

TV, moon roof...

You did want a moon roof?

- A lot of women
- don't like moon roofs

- 'cause the wind
- messes up their hair.

- I'd better cancel
- that moon roof.

- You forgot to order
- my limo, didn't you?

I feel real terrible

about this. Uh...

I'm very sorry.

Oh... that's okay.

Don't worry about it.

Oh, okay.

Well, I'm sure

David Johnson will be just

as impressed when I pull up

in my white-on-rust-in-white

broken down '75 El dorado

and crawl my way

through the cellophane

on the broken-window side

- and scratch my way
- and hurl myself up over...

All right. All right.

As much as I'd like to see that

I promised you a limousine

and you're going to get one.

Hello, Todd. This is ray.

- Can you have
- the regency stretch

- Over at my house
- in five minutes?

Yeah. Have Jimmy drive it.

- That's right.
- He's got a booking.

Uh, Donna then.

Oh. Uh... how about Larry?

Oh. Uh... how about you, Todd?

Oh, come on, Todd.

- You're going to have
- other children

- And the obstetrician
- can run the camcorder.

Okay.

And?

And I'm Raymond,

your limousine driver.

Oh, I really

appreciate this, ray.

- Well, I know you do,
- and I want you to know

- You should feel free and
- treat me like you would

Any other chauffeur.

Oh, thank you very much.

The door.

Oh, l.J., how's the pupil?

Lousy.

Well, you know, she

has so much potential.

Raymond! Chop! Chop!

Oh... hi, l.J. Come on in.

Look. I know you must

be upset right now,

- but I talked to your history
- teacher

- And he said if you
- get a "c" on your test tomorrow

He could pull up your

grade enough to play.

So far I've got

an f-minus, Tia.

- How am I ever going
- to get a "c"?

Hey, if anybody

can pull this off

it's Tia Landry.

- Now, you just wait
- right here while I

- Go upstairs and prepare
- my lesson plan.

Hi Tia.

You still mad at me?

What do you think, tamera?

- Because of you,
- even the chess club hates me.

They chased me three blocks.

- And they run pretty fast for
- guys wearing hush puppies.

What can I say, Tia?

- I opened the door
- and l.J. Was standing there

And he asked if I was you.

My mouth said, "yes."

- My brain was still working on,
- "I wonder what he looks like

In bicycle pants."

- Tia, I know you
- won't forgive me

- And there's no reason
- why you should forgive me.

Will you forgive me?

No.

Tia, I'm sorry.

- It's just that when l.J.
- Thought I was smart

It felt sort of good.

But from now on,

I'll be honest.

Please?

Okay. I forgive you.

Great! Okay. Here's the plan.

L.j.'s downstairs right now

- and you have to help
- him ace his test.

No way.

Either that,

or you're going to

have to transfer

to another school.

All right.

What do I have to do?

It's simple really.

All you have to do is be you

pretending to be me

pretending to be you.

What happened to honesty?

I'll start tomorrow.

Honest.

Hey, Tia, what are

you doing up there?

Uh, i'm... I... I'm changing.

Look. Let's just get

this over with. Okay?

And I'll take those.

Not so fast.

I don't think I trust you

anymore, Benedict Alexander.

I think you mean

Benedict Arnold.

Not according to you.

Benedict Arnold was

the American traitor

who attempted to sell

west point to the British.

Or perhaps you mean

Alexander Hamilton

the first secretary

of the treasury.

Why aren't you taking notes?

Oh. Uh... uh... just a second.

What are you doing?

You know... to help

us concentrate.

- How are we supposed to study
- with that racket?

Turn it off!

Sit down! Open your book,

chapter three.

Man, you smart girls got

some nasty mood swings.

Let's go! Let's go! Let's go!

Really.

I own the limo company.

I'm only driving as a favor

to the woman I live with.

- I mean, I live with her,
- because, you see

She is the mother of

my daughter's twin sister.

They were separated at birth.

- They found each other
- at the mall.

You're right.

I'm just a driver.

- Finally... only two hours
- later than she said she'd be.

Yeah. They think they're

so much better than us, huh?

Hey! A limo!

I'm impressed.

It's about time, Lisa.

- Are you going to let that clown
- talk to you like that?

Don't worry, David.

That's just Raymond, my driver

and he was just about to

butt out of our business.

Just drive us

to the blue terrace, Raymond.

We're going to get a drink.

Yes, ma'am.

- I'm sure glad you came
- over to me at the reunion.

- I must admit, I never - would
have recognized you, - Lisa.

Oh, David, you haven't

changed one bit.

I forgot to mention this

- but behind the
- panel on the left

Is a fine Bordeaux,

macadamia nuts

and some chilled guava nectar.

What?

No beer or corn nuts?

- I thought these things
- were supposed to be classy.

- Hey, pull over here
- at this party store.

Stop. Stop!

It's none of my business, Lisa

- but I think you're
- too good for this guy.

I know he isn't quite

what I described

but everybody changes a little.

Well, it's your life.

All I'm saying is

maybe the reality's

not living up to your fantasy.

- I know David, ray,
- and deep down

He's a fine, decent,

sensitive man.

Step on it!

The guy messed up on the change

- and gave me
- three extra dollars.

Hurry! Hurry!

Now, uh, where were we?

You mean all those years ago?

Oh, no. Just now.

Our senior year, we

were sitting in your car.

Remember?

-Mm-hmm.

And I was telling you I

couldn't go out with you

- 'cause I was seeing
- lonny Baxter.

Mm-hmm... uh,

who's lonny Baxter?

Oh, you remember.

The boy in Mrs. Bremen's class.

Who's Mrs. Bremen?

Our geometry teacher.

You know, she was

only the best teacher

they had at Ford high.

Ford high?

I went to denby.

You what?

Denby high's reunion

was in the antelope room.

- Ford high's was in
- the Wolverine room!

No kidding!

- No wonder I
- didn't recognize anyone.

I must be really sloshed!

Oh, well.

- You are the wrong
- David Johnson! Get out of here!

Come on, baby. It's okay.

- I left the old
- ball and chain in Toledo

- And this tux doesn't have
- to be back for a week.

Then get off at i-75

- and you'll be in Toledo
- before you stop rolling.

Hey, wait a minute!

Can we stop first?!

No!

- Come on, the car's
- still moving!

Eww! Ugh!

And here are your corn nuts!

Oh... god!

- Uh, back to the
- reunion, miss Landry?

Whew! No, thank you.

Let's go home, ray.

As you wish, madam.

- Oh, you can cut
- that out now, ray.

Sorry. It's the hat.

So? How'd you do?

Terrible.

I got worse than an "f".

I got a "g".

That's not a "g".

That's a c-minus.

Oh, that's what

those look like.

You did it! That's great!

- Come on.
- Let's go celebrate together.

Sure, Tia.

Um, wait.

I've got to be

honest with you, l.J.

I'm not Tia.

I'm Tia's twin sister, tamera.

- I just pretended to be
- Tia so I could tutor you

- But, that was really Tia
- who tutored you yesterday

Not me, tamera.

Huh?

Look.

Try to follow me.

I'm tamera, not Tia.

I just pretended to be Tia

so, I can go out with you.

Okay. Okay. I got it.

- So where do you
- want to go, Tia?

One more time...

Oh, forget it.

- Oh, I'll get it, tamera.
- It's for me.

- It's some other guy i'm
- supposed to start tutoring.

Roger, what are you doing here?

- I'm here for my
- tutoring session.

- I need help going
- over my anatomy.

You don't even

take anatomy, Roger.

No, but I have one.