Sister, Sister (1994–1999): Season 3, Episode 18 - The Piano Lesson - full transcript
Tamera agrees to a piano recital despite a distinct lack of talent.
Hey, dad.
- Guess who
- followed me home?
Hi, Roger.
Not Roger.
Look!
Isn't he cute?
- Oh, daddy, please,
- can I keep him?
I know the responsibilities
involved.
I'll feed him.
I'll bathe him.
I'll take him for a walk.
I'll take him to the vet.
I'll...
Hey!
This little mutt left hair
all over my new sweater!
You know what, dad?
Maybe it's a better idea
if I try to find the owner.
♪ Shakin' up the family tree
with sibling synchronicity ♪
♪ never knew how
much I missed ya ♪
♪ I ain't ever gonna
let you go! ♪
♪ Never knew
how much I missed ya ♪
♪ I ain't ever gonna
let you go ♪
- What are you
- doing, Lisa?
Oh, ray, ray...
- I'm putting this ad in the paper
- for my car. Listen.
'76 Cadillac El dorado.
"Low mileage.
"Body needs some work
and some t.L.C.
- "All original
- equipment.
Slight damage to rear end."
- -So, what do you think?
- -Seems ok.
- If I don't sell my car,
- I'll use the ad
To get me a date
in the personals.
Hey, everybody!
- Oh, hi, tamera.
- How was piano lessons?
Okay.
You know how we said
we'd give it a month
and see if we liked it?
Hmm. Vaguely.
- Well, do you still
- enjoy it?
I guess so.
Good answer!
Because I've got
something for you!
Tamera Campbell of Detroit,
Michigan, come on down!
Right through
door number one!
Wow, dad!
This keyboard
is the bomb!
Ooh, ray,
I love snorkeling.
- You want me
- to buy you a snorkel?
- No, a yacht to get
- to The Bahamas
So I can watch
other people snorkel.
Very funny.
- Go ahead, tamera.
- Start jamming.
Well, all righty, then!
- Whoa, whoa,
- that's great.
Oh, boy.
Let's hear
what it sounds like
in the pipe organ mode.
Ray, don't you think
- you're overdoing it
- for somebody just starting?
- Are you kidding? She's got to
- practice on something.
- -Doesn't she?
- -I guess you're right.
I have not overdone it.
Besides, it's on legs in case
she books a gig or something.
- Hey, dad, look,
- I'm playing better already.
Yeah.
Hey, Tia, can you help me?
- What? It sounds like
- you're doing great.
- I can't get this thing off
- "funk four."
Oh.
There you go.
Thanks.
Boy, am I terrible at this.
Tamera, everybody learning
the piano sounds like that
the first couple of days.
It's been six weeks.
Oh, yeah.
Maybe I should tell dad
to return this keyboard.
- Well, if you hadn't gotten
- refried beans on it
Maybe he could.
- Tia, the only thing
- I can do well on this thing
Is eat lunch.
Come on, tamera.
- You're being a little too
- hard on yourself.
- Here, let me see if
- I can help you out.
-Ok.
-Scoot over.
( Playing "the entertainer"
( perfectly )
- How'd you learn
- how to do that?
- Well, after school
- waiting for the bus
I'd goof in the music room
and I picked up
a few things.
You picked up
a few things?
- Well, tamera, music
- isn't that hard.
It's based on mathematic
permutations.
- But painting's more my medium.
- You know, tamera,
- You ought to get started on your
- painting too.
- The art show's coming up
- on the 13th.
Yeah.
How hard can painting be?
Uh-oh.
That painting looks hard.
- Well, Tia,
- we're twins.
We have the same genes.
There is no reason I can't be as
creative as you are.
Oh, man!
I wanted to be able
to play the piano!
Our eggs didn't split evenly.
You got all the good genes.
You're being silly.
Am not. You got the math genes,
the science genes, the art genes
- and what genes
- are left for me?
Well, I've got some ripped jeans
in the closet upstairs.
And you got
the joke genes too.
Oh, come on, tamera.
You're as talented as me.
- You just have to
- apply yourself.
You know what?
I am going to apply myself.
- I'm going to start practicing
- every single day.
- Well, except when
- me and the gang
Have to hang out
at senor taco.
Or every day at 4:00 when I have
to watch tempestt bledsoe.
Or when I just don't feel
like practicing.
Tamera, that's not
exactly applying yourself.
Yeah, you're right.
Well, there's ten minutes
before tempestt comes on!
I'm going to start
practicing right now.
Hey, I'm sounding
better already!
Well, you know,
it's probably better
if you practice alone
so I'm not distracting you
with my loud brush strokes.
Oh, what is that sound,
but the melody of the gods?
- I don't hear anything,
- dad.
I'm talking about your playing.
- Oh, come on.
- Who are you kidding?
- No really... I would have said
- something before
But I didn't want
to spoil your fun.
- But you're showing
- a lot of improvement.
You really think so?
Oh, absolutely.
And I was only playing
with one hand.
Oh, wow.
You made all that... sound
with just one hand?
Yeah.
You just keep up
the good work.
- And another thing,
- tamera
Your side of the egg
is doing just fine.
- It gets a little scrambled
- around finals
- But...
- Other than that...
Oh, thanks dad.
- You want to hear
- another tune?
No. I've got that first tune
playing up in my head.
So, you just keep practicing
and I'll listen to it up here.
Well, what do you think,
Mr. Solakian?
This baby is a real beast,
isn't it?
- There was only
- one owner before me.
- I got it from a lady
- here in Detroit
Who only used it to go
back and forth to work.
But there are
218,000 miles on it.
Well, she worked in Chicago.
It's a beautiful car.
I don't think
I want it.
Wow!
Look at all this stuff.
How much for this
cool swag lamp?
That's a piece of junk.
I'll give you $2.50 for this.
2.50 for this beautiful, antique
circa 1967 lighting fixture?
Solakian, are you crazy?
Okay. Three dollars.
Now you're talking.
I think I might come back
with my wife annahid.
This garage is a veritable
horn of plenty.
Oh, you think so, huh?
Maybe I'll have a
garage sale. Yeah.
Turn my trash into cash.
How much for this wrench?
- Oh no, I can't sell that.
- That's Ray's.
-A buck?
-Ray who?
I'll be back.
Ray, I just made four dollars in
less than five minutes.
- You made that much
- for this car?
- What did you do,
- throw in a lot of extras?
I didn't sell the car.
- No. I sold this junky
- old swag lamp over here.
- And there's a lot of junk
- we could sell...
Old clothes, old records,
old chotchkes.
- I thought you were selling
- your car.
- Look, I'll cut you in
- for a taste.
- You don't have
- to cut me in for a taste
Whatever that means.
Go ahead and have your
little garage sale.
- It's a good way to get rid of
- some of this stuff.
Thank you, ray.
- You looking
- for something?
Yeah. Have you seen a number
six Crescent wrench?
Was it about this long,
silvery, with the words
- "property of r. Campbell"
- scratched into it?
Yeah.
No, I haven't seen it.
Where are you guys going?
Well, we thought
- since you were going to practice
- we'd leave you alone.
No, I wanted you guys
to hear this piece
I've been working on.
Oh, we'd love to.
- Oh, Tia, good,
- you're here.
I was just about to play
"the entertainer."
I can come back later.
I want you
to hear it too.
- Tia, is that
- your painting?
- Oh, yeah. I
- finally finished.
Of course, art's
never really finished.
That's beautiful.
- That fruit looks
- so delicious, I could eat it.
Well, you did.
- That's why I had to finish it
- from memory.
- It's sure to be well-received
- at the art show.
Thanks, everybody.
Tamera, how's
your painting coming?
Dad, please, one masterpiece
at a time.
I've been working hard
mastering the piano.
Wait, wait. That didn't count.
Let me do that again.
Okay? Ready and begin.
Wait, wait...
- No, dear.
- That's great.
You're doing so well.
- Really.
- Wasn't she, guys?
You aren't just saying that to
be nice, are you?
'Cause I'm so into playing
it's hard to hear
what it sounds like.
No, you play with verve
and... style and...
Zest!
That's the word
I was going to say.
- Oh, yes,
- very zesty.
- I'm so proud
- of you, tamera.
Honestly, dad?
Would I lie to you?
Ray, why did you
lie to her?
I didn't lie to her.
- I was giving her
- encouragement.
She might take it
the wrong way.
- She won't take it
- the wrong way.
By the way, dad
- my piano teacher
- was trying to discourage me
- From playing
- in the big recital next week
But since you think
I'm doing so well
- I'm going to be
- in that recital.
You are?
Thanks, dad.
If it wasn't for you
- I would have quit
- playing.
He's not that much
better than tamera.
Thank you, Roland.
Thank you.
Oh, right down the hall
and turn left.
And don't forget to wash
your hands afterwards.
Parents be sure
- to sign your little ones up
- for the summer session here
- At the mitushka conservatory
- of music.
Spaces are filling up fast.
Just a word of warning.
Also, p.S. Good news:
We now take visa.
So your young ones
can play now and pay later.
Let's keep things moving along.
- Our next young performer
- didn't sign up in time
To make it into the program.
- But you can find her name
- penciled in
Right under
the bake sale announcement.
Everyone, let's give a nice
Carl mitushka
conservatory welcome
to tamera Campbell.
"The entertainer"
by the dead Scott joplin.
Wait, wait.
That didn't count.
Mom, she plays bad.
Honey, now
that's not right.
It's "she plays badly."
Oh, poor tamera.
She just wants
to make it perfect.
Well, then, we may
be here a while.
Wait, wait.
Wait, wait, wait.
Wait, wait.
Oh, please!
Thank you, tamera.
Wait. You didn't
let me bring it home.
- You were in
- the neighborhood, darling.
Wasn't she dazzling?
Encore! Encore!
No! No encores!
What I mean, of course,
is only one number per student.
- Oh, remember,
- our Tchaikovsky fantasy camp
Begins this summer.
Be there or be square.
You were pretty good.
Yeah, but you stink.
"The entertainer."
How ironic.
Thanks a lot, dad.
Tamera!
Hey, tamera, you
got anything
for the garage sale?
Yeah. One electric keyboard
with some refried beans
between the keys.
Only played a few times...
Rotten.
Come on, you don't want
to get rid of that keyboard.
I can't play it.
Yes, but I can...
See you're trying to paint. Bye.
Hi, tamera.
Your painting is...
Coming along nicely.
Dad, just give it up.
- Your credibility
- is shot.
If you're still referring
to the piano recital...
Which I still think
went all right...
I was just trying to
give you encouragement.
Dad, you crossed the line
from encouragement to lying.
- Why didn't you just tell me
- that I played bad?
That's played "badly".
Thanks for finally
telling the truth.
Well, I'm sorry.
Parenting doesn't come
with an owner's manual.
I'd do anything
to keep you from being hurt.
- Dad, I'm not a
- little kid anymore.
You don't have to
treat me like a baby.
Like the time when you told me
what happened to my goldfish.
You mean the one that ran away?
Dad, that fish was
flushed, and I know it.
- You should have just
- told me the truth
That I don't
have any talent.
So, Lisa, how much
for the phone and the crock pot?
Hey, what were you
doing in the house?
Browsing?
The stuff in the house
is not for sale.
Please, this is america.
Everything is for sale.
- I'll have you know
- there are three things
- In this country that
- are not for sale.
Justice is not for sale,
freedom is not for sale
and that crock pot is not
for sale, you understand?
Yes. So, how much
for the phone?
Rhonda, what are
you doing here?
- I thought I'd come
- help your family
Claw their way out
of financial ruin.
- We're just cleaning out
- the garage.
Sure, sure. Whatever.
- Well, you know, I thought
- you only came out at night
To howl at the moon.
Oh, I get it.
A shot at me.
Nice try.
Leave Tia alone, Rhonda.
- Just because
- you're the prettiest
Smartest, sexiest, loveliest...
What was my point?
Hey, Lisa, all right!
You almost
cleared out the garage.
- Got rid
- of all this junk.
Yeah, I made
lots of dollars.
Oh, thank you.
Hey, hey,
wait a minute.
Redd foxx!
Peaches and herb!
- You're supposed to
- get rid of the junk
Not the good stuff.
- These albums are
- worth a fortune.
- I know.
- I got $10 for them.
May I have these back,
please, ma'am?
No. I paid good
money for them.
Lisa, would you give
the woman her money back?
- No. All sales
- are final.
All right,
I'll buy them back.
Here is your $10.
Hmm! Forget it.
Fifteen.
All right, 15.
Well, I'll be
seeing you, Lisa.
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
- Where you going with that
- perfectly good waffle iron?
I'm going to make waffles.
Well, I want it back.
How much you pay for it?
Five, ten... twenty.
All right, here's your $20.
I paid 20.
You're not paying 20.
Tia, I remember when
you wore this little hat
on picture day.
I had so much fun
laughing at you.
And this sweater.
You looked like a
sunburned Bumblebee.
We got a whole week
out of that one.
You know, I ought to buy
all this stuff.
There's so many
wonderful memories.
This stuff
is really hideous, Rhonda.
Oops. Sorry.
Uh, we've been
using it as a rag.
Oh, am I in trouble now.
Hey, ray, instead
of selling my car
I'm fixing it.
I made so much money.
So did we.
Lisa, Lisa.
- I just took a look
- at tamera's painting
And it's terrible.
What do I say to her?
- It's the perfect
- opportunity
- To do what she
- asked you to do.
Tell her the truth.
Okay, but my words
can cut like a knife.
- Ray, you don't have
- to be vicious.
Well, all right.
Ray, what do you think
of my new bracelet?
- I got it with my
- garage sale money.
Well, to be
kind of honest, it's gaudy.
I wasn't the one who
asked you to be honest.
- Hey, dad, what do you think
- of my painting?
Well, I don't care for it a bit.
- Oh, dad,
- you're just saying that
'cause I told you
to be honest.
- No, no, no, i'm
- being honest.
It lacks style,
composition, uh...
- It's one of the worst paintings
- I've ever seen.
Dad, just give it up.
- All right, I'll
- prove it to you.
I want your opinion.
- Tell her how
- bad this is.
How can you insult
this young lady's work?
- Oh, it's okay.
- I'm her father.
- Go ahead tell her it's
- terrible.
Terrible? This is
a promising piece
of artistic work.
Oh, what do you know?
Dad, this is Mr. Zoloft,
the art teacher.
Oh.
- It's so inspiring,
- uplifting.
What do you call it?
I call it
"life is dark and bad."
So, you really think I'm good?
- You have a natural talent,
- and I can tell
Where you get
your inner turmoil.
But take heart.
Picasso's parents
were no picnic either.
Wait, wait, wait.
- Just a minute,
- Mr. Zoloft.
My father is a picnic.
He just doesn't know
anything about art.
Right.
See, I asked him to
be honest with me.
He's always trying
to encourage me
but I'd rather he'd do it
by telling me the truth.
It's your life, kid.
- Well, dad,
- how about that?
I'm an artist.
- I'm not from the shallow end
- of the gene pool.
Tell you what,
on the way home
- we'll stop by the
- art supply store
And we'll pick up more
canvases, paints
and why stop at that?
- We'll get some Clay,
- and we'll have you do
Some of those
weird sculptures.
Why not, dad?
I can do anything.
I got inner turmoil.
Some people
just don't get it.
Tamera:
♪ R-e-s-p-e-c-t, find out
what it means to me ♪
♪ r-e-s-p-e-c-t,
take care of t.C.B. ♪
- ♪ Sock it to me,
- sock it to me... ♪
Tamera!
That's wonderful!
- Your voice
- is incredible.
I think you have
major talent as a singer.
Oh, yeah?
- Well, I don't care
- what you say
- I'm going to
- be a singer!
- Guess who
- followed me home?
Hi, Roger.
Not Roger.
Look!
Isn't he cute?
- Oh, daddy, please,
- can I keep him?
I know the responsibilities
involved.
I'll feed him.
I'll bathe him.
I'll take him for a walk.
I'll take him to the vet.
I'll...
Hey!
This little mutt left hair
all over my new sweater!
You know what, dad?
Maybe it's a better idea
if I try to find the owner.
♪ Shakin' up the family tree
with sibling synchronicity ♪
♪ never knew how
much I missed ya ♪
♪ I ain't ever gonna
let you go! ♪
♪ Never knew
how much I missed ya ♪
♪ I ain't ever gonna
let you go ♪
- What are you
- doing, Lisa?
Oh, ray, ray...
- I'm putting this ad in the paper
- for my car. Listen.
'76 Cadillac El dorado.
"Low mileage.
"Body needs some work
and some t.L.C.
- "All original
- equipment.
Slight damage to rear end."
- -So, what do you think?
- -Seems ok.
- If I don't sell my car,
- I'll use the ad
To get me a date
in the personals.
Hey, everybody!
- Oh, hi, tamera.
- How was piano lessons?
Okay.
You know how we said
we'd give it a month
and see if we liked it?
Hmm. Vaguely.
- Well, do you still
- enjoy it?
I guess so.
Good answer!
Because I've got
something for you!
Tamera Campbell of Detroit,
Michigan, come on down!
Right through
door number one!
Wow, dad!
This keyboard
is the bomb!
Ooh, ray,
I love snorkeling.
- You want me
- to buy you a snorkel?
- No, a yacht to get
- to The Bahamas
So I can watch
other people snorkel.
Very funny.
- Go ahead, tamera.
- Start jamming.
Well, all righty, then!
- Whoa, whoa,
- that's great.
Oh, boy.
Let's hear
what it sounds like
in the pipe organ mode.
Ray, don't you think
- you're overdoing it
- for somebody just starting?
- Are you kidding? She's got to
- practice on something.
- -Doesn't she?
- -I guess you're right.
I have not overdone it.
Besides, it's on legs in case
she books a gig or something.
- Hey, dad, look,
- I'm playing better already.
Yeah.
Hey, Tia, can you help me?
- What? It sounds like
- you're doing great.
- I can't get this thing off
- "funk four."
Oh.
There you go.
Thanks.
Boy, am I terrible at this.
Tamera, everybody learning
the piano sounds like that
the first couple of days.
It's been six weeks.
Oh, yeah.
Maybe I should tell dad
to return this keyboard.
- Well, if you hadn't gotten
- refried beans on it
Maybe he could.
- Tia, the only thing
- I can do well on this thing
Is eat lunch.
Come on, tamera.
- You're being a little too
- hard on yourself.
- Here, let me see if
- I can help you out.
-Ok.
-Scoot over.
( Playing "the entertainer"
( perfectly )
- How'd you learn
- how to do that?
- Well, after school
- waiting for the bus
I'd goof in the music room
and I picked up
a few things.
You picked up
a few things?
- Well, tamera, music
- isn't that hard.
It's based on mathematic
permutations.
- But painting's more my medium.
- You know, tamera,
- You ought to get started on your
- painting too.
- The art show's coming up
- on the 13th.
Yeah.
How hard can painting be?
Uh-oh.
That painting looks hard.
- Well, Tia,
- we're twins.
We have the same genes.
There is no reason I can't be as
creative as you are.
Oh, man!
I wanted to be able
to play the piano!
Our eggs didn't split evenly.
You got all the good genes.
You're being silly.
Am not. You got the math genes,
the science genes, the art genes
- and what genes
- are left for me?
Well, I've got some ripped jeans
in the closet upstairs.
And you got
the joke genes too.
Oh, come on, tamera.
You're as talented as me.
- You just have to
- apply yourself.
You know what?
I am going to apply myself.
- I'm going to start practicing
- every single day.
- Well, except when
- me and the gang
Have to hang out
at senor taco.
Or every day at 4:00 when I have
to watch tempestt bledsoe.
Or when I just don't feel
like practicing.
Tamera, that's not
exactly applying yourself.
Yeah, you're right.
Well, there's ten minutes
before tempestt comes on!
I'm going to start
practicing right now.
Hey, I'm sounding
better already!
Well, you know,
it's probably better
if you practice alone
so I'm not distracting you
with my loud brush strokes.
Oh, what is that sound,
but the melody of the gods?
- I don't hear anything,
- dad.
I'm talking about your playing.
- Oh, come on.
- Who are you kidding?
- No really... I would have said
- something before
But I didn't want
to spoil your fun.
- But you're showing
- a lot of improvement.
You really think so?
Oh, absolutely.
And I was only playing
with one hand.
Oh, wow.
You made all that... sound
with just one hand?
Yeah.
You just keep up
the good work.
- And another thing,
- tamera
Your side of the egg
is doing just fine.
- It gets a little scrambled
- around finals
- But...
- Other than that...
Oh, thanks dad.
- You want to hear
- another tune?
No. I've got that first tune
playing up in my head.
So, you just keep practicing
and I'll listen to it up here.
Well, what do you think,
Mr. Solakian?
This baby is a real beast,
isn't it?
- There was only
- one owner before me.
- I got it from a lady
- here in Detroit
Who only used it to go
back and forth to work.
But there are
218,000 miles on it.
Well, she worked in Chicago.
It's a beautiful car.
I don't think
I want it.
Wow!
Look at all this stuff.
How much for this
cool swag lamp?
That's a piece of junk.
I'll give you $2.50 for this.
2.50 for this beautiful, antique
circa 1967 lighting fixture?
Solakian, are you crazy?
Okay. Three dollars.
Now you're talking.
I think I might come back
with my wife annahid.
This garage is a veritable
horn of plenty.
Oh, you think so, huh?
Maybe I'll have a
garage sale. Yeah.
Turn my trash into cash.
How much for this wrench?
- Oh no, I can't sell that.
- That's Ray's.
-A buck?
-Ray who?
I'll be back.
Ray, I just made four dollars in
less than five minutes.
- You made that much
- for this car?
- What did you do,
- throw in a lot of extras?
I didn't sell the car.
- No. I sold this junky
- old swag lamp over here.
- And there's a lot of junk
- we could sell...
Old clothes, old records,
old chotchkes.
- I thought you were selling
- your car.
- Look, I'll cut you in
- for a taste.
- You don't have
- to cut me in for a taste
Whatever that means.
Go ahead and have your
little garage sale.
- It's a good way to get rid of
- some of this stuff.
Thank you, ray.
- You looking
- for something?
Yeah. Have you seen a number
six Crescent wrench?
Was it about this long,
silvery, with the words
- "property of r. Campbell"
- scratched into it?
Yeah.
No, I haven't seen it.
Where are you guys going?
Well, we thought
- since you were going to practice
- we'd leave you alone.
No, I wanted you guys
to hear this piece
I've been working on.
Oh, we'd love to.
- Oh, Tia, good,
- you're here.
I was just about to play
"the entertainer."
I can come back later.
I want you
to hear it too.
- Tia, is that
- your painting?
- Oh, yeah. I
- finally finished.
Of course, art's
never really finished.
That's beautiful.
- That fruit looks
- so delicious, I could eat it.
Well, you did.
- That's why I had to finish it
- from memory.
- It's sure to be well-received
- at the art show.
Thanks, everybody.
Tamera, how's
your painting coming?
Dad, please, one masterpiece
at a time.
I've been working hard
mastering the piano.
Wait, wait. That didn't count.
Let me do that again.
Okay? Ready and begin.
Wait, wait...
- No, dear.
- That's great.
You're doing so well.
- Really.
- Wasn't she, guys?
You aren't just saying that to
be nice, are you?
'Cause I'm so into playing
it's hard to hear
what it sounds like.
No, you play with verve
and... style and...
Zest!
That's the word
I was going to say.
- Oh, yes,
- very zesty.
- I'm so proud
- of you, tamera.
Honestly, dad?
Would I lie to you?
Ray, why did you
lie to her?
I didn't lie to her.
- I was giving her
- encouragement.
She might take it
the wrong way.
- She won't take it
- the wrong way.
By the way, dad
- my piano teacher
- was trying to discourage me
- From playing
- in the big recital next week
But since you think
I'm doing so well
- I'm going to be
- in that recital.
You are?
Thanks, dad.
If it wasn't for you
- I would have quit
- playing.
He's not that much
better than tamera.
Thank you, Roland.
Thank you.
Oh, right down the hall
and turn left.
And don't forget to wash
your hands afterwards.
Parents be sure
- to sign your little ones up
- for the summer session here
- At the mitushka conservatory
- of music.
Spaces are filling up fast.
Just a word of warning.
Also, p.S. Good news:
We now take visa.
So your young ones
can play now and pay later.
Let's keep things moving along.
- Our next young performer
- didn't sign up in time
To make it into the program.
- But you can find her name
- penciled in
Right under
the bake sale announcement.
Everyone, let's give a nice
Carl mitushka
conservatory welcome
to tamera Campbell.
"The entertainer"
by the dead Scott joplin.
Wait, wait.
That didn't count.
Mom, she plays bad.
Honey, now
that's not right.
It's "she plays badly."
Oh, poor tamera.
She just wants
to make it perfect.
Well, then, we may
be here a while.
Wait, wait.
Wait, wait, wait.
Wait, wait.
Oh, please!
Thank you, tamera.
Wait. You didn't
let me bring it home.
- You were in
- the neighborhood, darling.
Wasn't she dazzling?
Encore! Encore!
No! No encores!
What I mean, of course,
is only one number per student.
- Oh, remember,
- our Tchaikovsky fantasy camp
Begins this summer.
Be there or be square.
You were pretty good.
Yeah, but you stink.
"The entertainer."
How ironic.
Thanks a lot, dad.
Tamera!
Hey, tamera, you
got anything
for the garage sale?
Yeah. One electric keyboard
with some refried beans
between the keys.
Only played a few times...
Rotten.
Come on, you don't want
to get rid of that keyboard.
I can't play it.
Yes, but I can...
See you're trying to paint. Bye.
Hi, tamera.
Your painting is...
Coming along nicely.
Dad, just give it up.
- Your credibility
- is shot.
If you're still referring
to the piano recital...
Which I still think
went all right...
I was just trying to
give you encouragement.
Dad, you crossed the line
from encouragement to lying.
- Why didn't you just tell me
- that I played bad?
That's played "badly".
Thanks for finally
telling the truth.
Well, I'm sorry.
Parenting doesn't come
with an owner's manual.
I'd do anything
to keep you from being hurt.
- Dad, I'm not a
- little kid anymore.
You don't have to
treat me like a baby.
Like the time when you told me
what happened to my goldfish.
You mean the one that ran away?
Dad, that fish was
flushed, and I know it.
- You should have just
- told me the truth
That I don't
have any talent.
So, Lisa, how much
for the phone and the crock pot?
Hey, what were you
doing in the house?
Browsing?
The stuff in the house
is not for sale.
Please, this is america.
Everything is for sale.
- I'll have you know
- there are three things
- In this country that
- are not for sale.
Justice is not for sale,
freedom is not for sale
and that crock pot is not
for sale, you understand?
Yes. So, how much
for the phone?
Rhonda, what are
you doing here?
- I thought I'd come
- help your family
Claw their way out
of financial ruin.
- We're just cleaning out
- the garage.
Sure, sure. Whatever.
- Well, you know, I thought
- you only came out at night
To howl at the moon.
Oh, I get it.
A shot at me.
Nice try.
Leave Tia alone, Rhonda.
- Just because
- you're the prettiest
Smartest, sexiest, loveliest...
What was my point?
Hey, Lisa, all right!
You almost
cleared out the garage.
- Got rid
- of all this junk.
Yeah, I made
lots of dollars.
Oh, thank you.
Hey, hey,
wait a minute.
Redd foxx!
Peaches and herb!
- You're supposed to
- get rid of the junk
Not the good stuff.
- These albums are
- worth a fortune.
- I know.
- I got $10 for them.
May I have these back,
please, ma'am?
No. I paid good
money for them.
Lisa, would you give
the woman her money back?
- No. All sales
- are final.
All right,
I'll buy them back.
Here is your $10.
Hmm! Forget it.
Fifteen.
All right, 15.
Well, I'll be
seeing you, Lisa.
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
- Where you going with that
- perfectly good waffle iron?
I'm going to make waffles.
Well, I want it back.
How much you pay for it?
Five, ten... twenty.
All right, here's your $20.
I paid 20.
You're not paying 20.
Tia, I remember when
you wore this little hat
on picture day.
I had so much fun
laughing at you.
And this sweater.
You looked like a
sunburned Bumblebee.
We got a whole week
out of that one.
You know, I ought to buy
all this stuff.
There's so many
wonderful memories.
This stuff
is really hideous, Rhonda.
Oops. Sorry.
Uh, we've been
using it as a rag.
Oh, am I in trouble now.
Hey, ray, instead
of selling my car
I'm fixing it.
I made so much money.
So did we.
Lisa, Lisa.
- I just took a look
- at tamera's painting
And it's terrible.
What do I say to her?
- It's the perfect
- opportunity
- To do what she
- asked you to do.
Tell her the truth.
Okay, but my words
can cut like a knife.
- Ray, you don't have
- to be vicious.
Well, all right.
Ray, what do you think
of my new bracelet?
- I got it with my
- garage sale money.
Well, to be
kind of honest, it's gaudy.
I wasn't the one who
asked you to be honest.
- Hey, dad, what do you think
- of my painting?
Well, I don't care for it a bit.
- Oh, dad,
- you're just saying that
'cause I told you
to be honest.
- No, no, no, i'm
- being honest.
It lacks style,
composition, uh...
- It's one of the worst paintings
- I've ever seen.
Dad, just give it up.
- All right, I'll
- prove it to you.
I want your opinion.
- Tell her how
- bad this is.
How can you insult
this young lady's work?
- Oh, it's okay.
- I'm her father.
- Go ahead tell her it's
- terrible.
Terrible? This is
a promising piece
of artistic work.
Oh, what do you know?
Dad, this is Mr. Zoloft,
the art teacher.
Oh.
- It's so inspiring,
- uplifting.
What do you call it?
I call it
"life is dark and bad."
So, you really think I'm good?
- You have a natural talent,
- and I can tell
Where you get
your inner turmoil.
But take heart.
Picasso's parents
were no picnic either.
Wait, wait, wait.
- Just a minute,
- Mr. Zoloft.
My father is a picnic.
He just doesn't know
anything about art.
Right.
See, I asked him to
be honest with me.
He's always trying
to encourage me
but I'd rather he'd do it
by telling me the truth.
It's your life, kid.
- Well, dad,
- how about that?
I'm an artist.
- I'm not from the shallow end
- of the gene pool.
Tell you what,
on the way home
- we'll stop by the
- art supply store
And we'll pick up more
canvases, paints
and why stop at that?
- We'll get some Clay,
- and we'll have you do
Some of those
weird sculptures.
Why not, dad?
I can do anything.
I got inner turmoil.
Some people
just don't get it.
Tamera:
♪ R-e-s-p-e-c-t, find out
what it means to me ♪
♪ r-e-s-p-e-c-t,
take care of t.C.B. ♪
- ♪ Sock it to me,
- sock it to me... ♪
Tamera!
That's wonderful!
- Your voice
- is incredible.
I think you have
major talent as a singer.
Oh, yeah?
- Well, I don't care
- what you say
- I'm going to
- be a singer!