Sister, Sister (1994–1999): Season 3, Episode 16 - Valentine's Day - full transcript

Oh, come on, dad

it's freezing

out there.

Oh, come on, tamera.

It's not that cold.

Besides, baseball's

in the air.

The tigers start

spring training today.

Dad, they're in Florida.

We're in Michigan.



Come on, tamera.

Let's play ball!

Last one to the park

is a rotten egg.

- At least I'll be
- a warm rotten egg.

♪ Talk about a

two-way twister ♪

♪ shakin' up the family tree

with sibling synchronicity ♪

♪ never knew how

much I missed ya ♪

♪ I ain't ever gonna

let you go! ♪

♪ Never knew



how much I missed ya ♪

♪ I ain't ever gonna

let you go ♪

- Hi, mom. What
- are you doing?

Oh, I'm just sending out

a few valentines, Tia.

You know, to you and tamera

clients, friends,

some of the neighbors.

- And to ray,
- of course.

Now, why would

I send one to ray?

- Mom, to give
- positive strokes

To all the people

in your life

while specifically

ignoring ray

could be taken as

a passive-aggressive expression

of repressed hostility.

So, how do you like your

new psychology class?

I love it!

I can even consider

making it a career.

- How do you feel
- about my new psychology class?

Well, Tia

I don't have an opinion

one way or another.

Hmm... interesting.

You're disengaging

from the Valentine's issue.

All right, I'll send

ray a Valentine.

Okay? Okay?

Ooh, happy?

Okay.

"Best wishes"?

Hmm... interesting.

What?

- Mom, you're
- subconsciously

- Avoiding the
- appropriate word

That expresses the natural,

platonic, nonromantic bond

between two family members.

Okay, "love."

Is that the word, Tia?

Exactly.

Eww.

Okay, okay, okay.

There, there.

"Love," okay?

Lisa, how much would it cost

to make the most sensational

party dress you've ever sewn?

- Well, I don't know, tamera.
- Maybe $2,000.

Uh, let me rephrase that.

You see, Shawn Fordham asked me

to the Valentine's dance.

I want him more than

I want world peace.

I can pay you $8.45.

Oh, and a coupon

for a grande breakfast burrito

at senor taco.

Oh, honey

- I can't take
- your money

- But I will take
- that coupon.

Done! Thank you so much!

This is going to be

the best Valentine's

date ever.

Oh!

- Oh, it's great
- to see tamera

So happy, isn't it?

Really?

You thought

she was happy?

Hmm...

Interesting.

So, the next time

he hand-checks you

at the top of the key

try the spin move I showed you

and drive the baseline.

Yeah, that's a

good idea, tamera.

- You are not
- like other girls.

You're like a point

guard you can kiss.

Oh, thanks, Shawn.

Later.

You and Shawn make

such a cute couple.

Yeah, I know.

We're not even twins.

- Too bad your
- house of cards

Is about to come

crashing down.

Excuse me, Rhonda?

You may be going out

with Shawn now

but not for long.

I'm throwing down

my gauntlet before you.

- Gauntlet?
- Did you get

- One of those
- word-a-day calendars

For Christmas?

Indubitably.

Rhonda, if you think

you can take Shawn away

from me, forget it.

Oh, sure, you may be

kind of attractive to some guys

but Shawn and I

share something deeper

more meaningful, more profound

than you could ever know.

Oh, really? What?

Sports... so give it up.

It would do you

absolutely no good.

- You can try
- to break it up

But it won't work.

Hi, there, Shawn.

Oh. Hi, Rhonda.

- You know, Rhonda,
- maybe someday

You can have a relationship

like Shawn and I have...

The kind that's so solid,

nothing could tear it apart.

Trust and honesty

are the glue that holds

our relationship together.

Well, next time you might

want to try some duct tape.

Well, who cares?

It's a free country.

They can talk

all they want.

Doesn't mean one

indutible gauntlet.

Tamera, um...

I can't go to the Valentine's

day dance with you.

See, what did

I tell you, marcia?

He's...

What?

Well, see, it's my mom.

She got this thing.

Um... it's a disease

- and I'll have
- to take care of her

So you should probably just

go on and find another date

and if my mom should

get over her thing

then I'll just come to the dance

with some other, you know...

Thing?

Right.

Boy, that's too bad

about his mom, huh?

Ah, looks like somebody

got a Valentine.

Oh, you mean this.

Your mom gave it to me.

- It was nice of her,
- wasn't it?

- And what did
- you get her?

Nothing.

Hmm...

Interesting.

What do you mean?

Think she'll be upset

if I don't get her something?

I don't know.

What do you think, ray?

Nah, probably not.

Of course, she did

choose to write "love."

Why, ray?

Well, obviously,

she's trying

to express a normal,

healthy, platonic affection

- from one family member
- to another.

But there's no reason

to make a big deal

out of this.

Thank you, doctor.

I-I mean, Tia.

Yeah, y-you're right.

Uh, no big deal.

I'll get her a card, okay?

A card, huh?

Hmm... interesting.

Okay. I'll get her

a box of candy, too.

Well, if you think

that's a good idea.

Of course it's a good idea.

You ever seen Lisa

in striking distance

of a Whitman's sampler?

Hi, tamera.

Marcia told me

what happened.

I hate Shawn, I hate boys

and I hate men.

- What poster
- is that?

Boyz ii men.

Tamera, it's not healthy

sitting here hating Shawn.

Yeah, you're right.

I hate Rhonda.

Why does that girl

have it in for you?

I don't know.

- I mean, ever since
- we were kids

She always had to take away

everything that was mine.

Hmm... interesting.

When I tried out

- for Rudolph the
- red-nosed reindeer

- In the Christmas
- play, she did, too.

She got to be in the front,

and I was the rear end.

She got to click on this

really cool red flashlight

and I got to be whipped

by the fat kid playing Santa.

Oh, and once I wrote this

really great history paper

and she copied it.

She got a "d+" because of me.

You know what?

- This sounds a lot
- like chapter 16

In my psychology book.

What's that?

"Compulsive behavior."

Rhonda's insecurity

makes her envious of you

and as a result,

her inner child is compelled

to take away

anything you have.

Look, it's obvious Rhonda

really doesn't want Shawn.

She only wanted him

because you had him.

What if tomorrow

you were to tell Rhonda

you got another date

to the dance

and really rub

her nose in it?

Yeah, so?

Well, Rhonda would be compelled

to take that guy away from you.

Yeah.

Which would then

leave me with Shawn.

And leave Rhonda

stuck with some zero.

- Yeah, but who
- could we get?

Hi, girls.

Happy Valentine's day.

Go get

her, girl.

So, tamera, who's

the Valentine for?

Oh, Rhonda!

I want to thank you

for taking Shawn off my hands.

Excuse me?

Well, you see, if I was

still stuck with him

I wouldn't have discovered

the hottest, the hunkiest,

the flyest guy in school.

And who's that?

Roger Evans.

No, I'm serious.

Well, so am I.

- Now you have fun with
- what's-his-name tonight, okay?

Wait a minute.

Roger Evans?

The Barney whose mother

drives him around on dates?

That Barney happens

to be incredible

once you get to know him.

And his mom knows

some great new clubs.

And you're going

- to the Valentine's
- dance with him.

Well, all I can do is ask Roger

if he'll go out with me

- and pray some
- other girl

- Hasn't already
- snapped him up.

That's why I bought him

this candy and card.

I just hope Roger can see me

as more than just a friend.

In fact, that's what

I'm going to write

in his Valentine.

"Oh, please, Roger,

darling..."

"I'm begging

you, tell me.

"What can I do

to make you go

- with me to
- the dance?"

- You just did,
- sweet thing.

Oh, hi, Roger. Great.

Now, don't you dare

try and do what I think

you're going to do, Rhonda.

And what's that?

You know,

steal my new...

Boyfriend away from me.

What are you talking about?

Oh, come on, come on,

this isn't funny.

You're compelled

to steal Roger from me.

Roger?

- You're kidding,
- right?

Pass.

What?

Shawn, I want you

to walk me to lunch...

And then buy it.

And stand up straight.

Sure.

Wait, w-wait, Rhonda.

I swear, Roger's really

fresh, sexy and exciting!

Hey, please,

you're embarrassing me.

Shut up.

Tia!

Tia!

Tia!

Tia-a-a-a!

Hi, ma.

Mmm. Tia, Tia, look at this.

Ray bought me

a box of candy.

Oh, that's nice.

Nice?

Look what he wrote.

"Love, ray."

- What? You wrote
- him a card

That said "love, Lisa."

Yeah, but this

is candy

in a heart-shaped box.

Well, it was

a box of candy.

Mom, it's Valentine's day.

Mmm. Trust me, Tia,

I know the signs.

No, no, no,

no! He's not.

Oh, you're in denial.

I think you're reading

way too much into this.

You started this.

"Hmm. Interesting."

- Yeah, but
- maybe I'm in

Over my head a little.

- What are you
- talking about?

Tia, you had half a semester

of high school psychology.

Now, come on,

I need answers.

Mom, I can't help you.

Your psychosis is developing

faster than my course is.

I think you may be

an advanced head case.

Really?

Hey, wait a minute, Tia!

Well, I can't...

I just can't

break his heart now.

I got to let him down easy.

Oh, hi, Lisa.

Oh, hi, ray.

I got your candy.

I got your card.

Oh, good.

And I want you to know

- that I'm very
- flattered, ray.

- It was very,
- very sweet of you.

You are a kind

and decent man

and I think the

world of you.

Wow. Good thing I didn't

spring for the good box.

Oh, come on.

Are you going to spend

the rest of your life

- running scared
- of Rhonda coley?

Don't be a victim.

Stand up to her.

Tia, what am I supposed to do?

Steal Shawn back?

Yes! Fight fire with fire.

You've seen Melrose place.

Tia...

You're not suggesting it

might be time for the...

Red dress?

Exactly. She's going out

with your boyfriend.

Yeah, I know, but...

Tamera...

She got to click on

Rudolph's red nose

while you got whipped

by some fat kid.

- Stand back!
- I'm wearing heels!

Attagirl. And remember,

if you want to beat Rhonda

at her own game,

it takes more than looks.

It takes... attitude.

Attitude.

Right. And you

don't ask Shawn

if he wants to dance.

You tell him he's gonna dance.

Huh. you! Dance!

He should be happy

that he's lucky enough

to be dancing with you.

You! be happy.

And if you

want something

you tell him to go

get it for you.

You! get my purse.

Perfect!

No, Tia, get my purse.

Oh. Sorry.

Hi, mom. What's wrong?

Oh, Tia,

you were wrong about ray.

He is in love with me.

- He asked me out to dinner
- so we could talk.

He's going to make

his move tonight.

Mom, you're projecting.

Oh. I got to change

out of this wonderbra.

Hi, Lisa.

Hi, ray.

Ooh, poor man.

I better try

not to look too sexy.

This may take some time.

Uh, listen, Lisa,

truth is

I'm glad we have

this chance to talk.

Oh?

Yes. I have something

I have to tell you.

Oh, ray...

N-No, no, uh...

It's about us, our relationship.

Oh, ray, please don't say it.

I have to say it, Lisa.

- If I don't talk about
- what's happened between us

I'm, I'm just going to explode.

But, ray, i-i...

- Lisa, I know
- how you feel about me

And I have to tell you

how I feel about you

- so I'm going to come
- right out and say it. Lisa...

I don't love you!

I'm sorry. Did you say "don't"?

Yes, I did.

Oh, ray, you must

be devastated.

Oh, here. Let me hold

your steak knife for now.

You have made me

the happiest man on earth!

I don't love you either!

I brought you to dinner

to tell you that.

Really? You don't love me?

Oh. Well, here you go.

Thank you.

I have no interest

in you whatsoever.

- Oh... you really
- mean that?

- 'Cause when you
- gave me that candy

- And you wrote "love"
- on that card...

No. Most of the time,

I don't even like you very much.

Oh..!

- You're not
- just saying that?

Oh, no, no.

- You're pushy,
- you're loud

- And we have
- nothing in common

And you feel

the same way about me.

Oh, ray, there's so much

I can't stand about you

- I don't know
- where to start.

I am so relieved.

Oh, what

a magical night, huh?

Ooh, I know.

I feel the same way.

Ooh, a toast. Yes.

Happy Valentine's day.

Shawn, I need

to make a phone call.

Let's go.

What do you need me for?

You expect me to dial

with these nails?

Oh. Right.

Steve. Food. Now.

Food. Sure!

Hey, it works.

Hi, marcia.

- Hi, Tia.
- Hi, Ernie.

Check it out.

- I just snapped
- my fingers

And Steve went to go get me

a plate of food.

Steve.

What?

Oh, you want some, too?

Well, duh!

- Bring me back
- some pickles

When you go, okay?

So, do you want

to dance, tamera?

In a minute, Roger.

We just got here.

- I know,
- but it's 15 degrees

And I don't know how long

my mom can sit out there.

- Tamera, that dress
- is the bomb!

Yeah, I know.

Hang this up.

- She's talking
- to me, man.

- She's talking
- to me.

- Let go
- of that coat!

Now, go get me a drink.

Well, tamera,

I didn't think

you'd have the

guts to show up.

Step off, Rhonda.

I'm looking for Shawn.

If you're looking for Shawn,

you're looking for trouble.

If you're looking for trouble,

you found it.

Make your move.

Tamera...

You look great.

So, how's your mother?

- She's just...
- She's fine.

I thought she was sick.

- Oh, yeah,
- but other than that

She's just fine.

So, uh, I sure hope

- you can dance
- in that dress.

Are you asking?

- Shawn, I stopped
- having fun.

Get my coat.

Right, Rhonda.

Nice try, tamera.

Next time, don't put

on a pair of red pumps

unless you know

how to use them.

Here's your coat,

Rhonda.

Good. Let's go.

Hey, Shawn

how about that

pistons/bulls game last night?

Yes! Double overtime!

It was incredible!

Can you believe that 360 move

- that Grant hill
- put on scottie pippen?

Shawn, I said I was ready to go.

Who's stopping you?

You're kicking me to the curb?

Indubitably.

All right, tamera,

this round is yours

- but you haven't
- seen the last of me.

If I weren't running

for homecoming queen

I'd wipe the floor with you.

You. drive me home.

This guy bothering

you, tamera?

And who are you?

I'm her date.

- Well, there's a little change
- in plans.

- What, she doesn't want
- any punch?

'Cause my mom's got a thermos

of hot cocoa in the car.

- No, no, no, see,
- tamera and I were talking

And I want to dance.

I don't want to dance with you.

Why don't you explain it to him?

Why don't you

get lost?

Okay.

No, no, no.

Not you, Roger.

You.

Now, go home

and check on your mom.

- And can you check
- on mine, too?

She's the one shivering in

the blue town and country.

Look, Roger

I'm sorry.

I just used you

to get back at Rhonda.

I'm just as bad

as she is.

Don't tease me.

Ah. Thank you.

Oh! How was the party?

I had a great time.

- Tamera and I
- broke up with Shawn.

- How was your
- evening?

Oh, it was wonderful.

- Ray and I had a
- great conversation

And realized we both

had a lot in common.

- We both don't
- love each other.

Ah, it's obvious

they're in love.

Tia, where's

your psychology book?

- Why? Are you getting
- interested in psychology?

No. I want to hit you

over the head with it.

Hmm. Interesting.