Sister, Sister (1994–1999): Season 2, Episode 4 - A Tall Tale - full transcript

- Boy, Tia, that's some
- long book report.

Uh-huh.

"Tia loves Michael, Tia loves

Michael, Tia loves Michael"?

And there's also the sequel.

"Michael loves Tia"?

- You know, sometimes high school
- can be pretty cool.

- Yeah, you can be cool
- by wearing fresh clothes

- Or hanging out
- with the right group.

- Or by having
- a boyfriend.

- Notice how she likes to work
- that into the conversation.



- And the coolest thing
- in the world

- Is having a boyfriend who goes
- to a different school.

Imported,

not domestic.

- Tia: So when he comes
- to visit you,

Everybody can see how

totally cool you really are.

Hi.

Hi.

- Hi.
- Hi.

Talk that

talk, girl.

So, what are you doing here?

I cut school 'cause



I had to see you, Tia.

- You cut school
- just to see me?

Me, Tia Landry?

- I don't think
- they heard you in Canada.

I'm so excited

about the dance Friday.

- Yeah. Hey,
- tamera.

Maybe you'd like to go

with my homey Darnell.

- He's just outside
- parking the car.

Thank you, but I think

I'm perfectly capable

- of finding
- my own homeys.

Hey, everybody, what's up?

Hello, homey.

- Hey, Darnell,
- this is tamera.

- Hi.
- Hi.

Talk that talk, girl.

- Well, I guess
- we'd better get back to class.

- Want to ditch
- and come with us?

Well, we'd

like to, but...

We just ditched yesterday.

On Sunday?

Oh, yeah, we never go.

So, tamera, are we

happening Friday night?

I'd be happy to happen.

- Great.
- Great.

They are all that.

They are beyond that.

Hi, girls.

Listen, Tia, tamera,

I was wondering if...

- Sorry, Roger,
- we already got dates.

- Why does everybody
- automatically assume

I want a date?

Okay, so what do you want?

- A date. I just didn't want you
- to assume it.

Sorry.

- You don't have
- to worry about me.

I'm very optimistic.

- I got an alphabetical list
- of every girl in school,

And I'm only up to the "t" s.

Hi, Mrs. Tankersly,

- sorry to hear
- about your recent divorce.

I was wondering if I...

Roger, don't be ridiculous.

- After a couple of lonely
- Saturday nights,

I'm gonna be looking

pretty good.

♪ Talk about

a two-way twister ♪

♪ shakin' up the family tree

with sibling synchronicity ♪

- ♪ never knew
- how much I missed you ♪

♪ I ain't ever gonna

let... you... go ♪

♪ I ain't ever gonna

let... you... go ♪

Hi, dad.

Hi, girls, how was shopping?

- Exhausting. - We've been
- At the mall

- For eight
- and a half hours.

Yeah, so what'd you buy?

Earrings.

This dance is going

to be so romantic.

Dad, um, you know what would

make the night really special?

One of your limos.

- Hmm, that is
- a good idea.

- Oh, way to
- go, tamera.

I'll be honored to drive you.

Way to go, tamera.

Dad...

- Well, I certainly - wouldn't trust
- One of my drivers

With such precious cargo.

You're riding

in the trunk.

Are there any letters

after "z"?

Still no date, huh?

252 girls have turned me down

in alphabetical order.

73 are washing their hair,

87 grandmothers died,

- and the rest
- just couldn't stop laughing.

- Okay, so you're
- in a slump.

- Come on, Tia,
- let's go try on our dresses.

- Do you need help
- with a strap or zipper?

Just trying to break

out of my depression.

Don't worry, Betty,

I can have

all those alterations

done by next week.

Roger, what are

you doing here?

I can't be alone

and yet I have no choice.

- Is this
- a cry for help?

- Yes, it is.
- Well, keep it down.

I'm working over here.

Oh...

- Could you make the collar - on
my green dress - Look like this?

Oh, no problem.

Now, who is this beauty?

That's my daughter Kelly.

- Lisa: Oh, she must be -
fighting the boys off - With a brick.

- Betty: Mm, since
- we just moved here,

- She's having a hard
- time meeting people.

Yeah, it's tough out there.

- Ooh, I'm so glad
- I met Terrence.

- I can't even stop talking
- about him.

I know.

- Do I get a discount
- for listening?

No.

Betty:

I just wish Kelly could

meet somebody... anybody.

Lisa: Yeah.

Well, Betty,

let me show you

where the bus stop is.

Speaking of bus stops,

- did I ever tell you
- about Terrence's dimples?

Yes!

Hello, Kelly?

This is somebody...

Anybody.

♪ Girl, I want

to know your name ♪

♪ and just like a roni

you were too shy ♪

♪ but you weren't the only

'cause so was I ♪

♪ and I've dreamed you

ever since ♪

♪ now I've built up

my confidence ♪

Good night, Kelly.

Go home, Roger.

♪ Next time you come my way

I'll know just what to say ♪

Your home.

♪ Simply because

you're Terrence ♪

Ray, uh,

- shouldn't you be getting
- ready to take the girls?

- Well, you know,
- I think I'm gonna stay home

- And let one
- of my drivers take them.

- I need to trust the girls more,
- give them more space.

Ray, space is overrated.

- Kids need a tight rein;
- they feel more secure

- When they know
- they have boundaries.

What time is

Terrence coming over?

8:00-ish.

Oh, ray,

- ray, I need this night,
- please.

- You know, there comes a time - in a
relationship when a, - A man and a woman...

Please don't paint

that picture for me.

Ray, I'm just looking

for a little romance.

What do you say?

- Okay, okay,
- I'll take them.

Oh, thank you.

And when your time comes,

- I'll return the favor
- when you bring a lady over.

Thank you, Lisa.

Like that's gonna happen.

Hey, Tia, do you think

my dress is too short?

No, you look...

Hey, I thought

we were identical.

Where'd you

get those?

They just popped up.

- Well, you know
- that bra looks so fake.

Did you buy one for me?

No, sorry.

Nobody's going to notice me.

Come on, Tia, I see the way

Michael looks at you.

He's crazy about you.

- Have I told you
- it's our 42nd-day anniversary?

You told me 42 times.

Hey, wouldn't it be great

- if you and Darnell
- started going together?

- Yeah, and we went
- together for a long time

And then we got engaged?

- And then we both got married - to
Michael and Darnell - In a double wedding.

- Yeah, and we move
- into a duplex.

And we both have twins.

- It's going to be
- so romantic.

Hokey but romantic.

- Good evening, Mr. Campbell.
- Hope I'm not late.

- Roger, you're
- looking very dapper.

Why, thank you, sir.

I think the outfit says

"I'm formal but fun."

- I didn't know
- you were going with us.

- Well, I wanted to make
- a good impression on Kelly,

Arriving by limo.

Besides, these darn tails

keep getting stuck

in my bicycle spokes.

Come on, girls,

let's get going.

Uh, Mr. Campbell,

- I was wondering if I could talk
- to you about something.

Yes.

- Well, on the phone,
- I might have told Kelly

A few things about me

that weren't true.

Like what?

- Well, I sort of told her I was
- the most popular kid in school,

I was president of my class,

and I was drafted

by the Detroit lions.

- Roger, you don't have to make
- up lies to impress a girl.

- I knew you were going
- to say something like that.

Well, you just be yourself.

Let her get to know

the real you.

- I'm dead meat
- on a stick.

Roger, what are

you doing here?

You invited me.

- We said we were gonna
- tie you to the roof rack.

That's not an invitation?

- Dang, girl, you've been taking
- your vitamins.

Oh... you two look beautiful.

Let me look at you.

Oh, Tia, you are lovely,

and tamera...

Oh, you're doubly lovely.

Tamera?

Just be happy

for me, dad.

Well, yeah, it-it's just...

Well, sweetheart,

you, you look beautiful.

Yes, you're becoming

such a young woman.

Thanks, dad.

- Come on,
- you guys, let's go.

That's a padded bra, right?

- Just be happy
- for her, ray.

Ooh, very happy.

I'll see you later, Lisa.

- Yeah, now, ray, I don't want
- you rushing back here now.

- If the house is a-grooving,
- you keep a-moving.

♪ I'm about to lose control

and I think i... ♪

Ray: Okay, Roger,

here's Kelly's house.

Roger: Great.

Tia: Roger, wait

till we stop the car.

Okay.

Be myself, be myself.

Who am I?

Kelly?

Kelly: Hi.

Hi...

Way high.

Well, we were off

on our big night.

And we both looked great.

- You looked great,
- but I just thought

- I looked a little
- bit better.

Bigger is not always better.

You have so

much to learn.

But for whatever reason,

it wasn't quite the romantic,

sophisticated evening

we had in mind.

Tamera.

Tia.

Yeah.

Thank you, we

never heard anyone

burp our names before.

- You sure
- you're comfortable?

Oh, yeah, I've got

tons of room over here.

You know, I really like

being in a limo, Darnell.

- How about you?
- Oh, yeah.

- The best part is
- you can make faces at people

And they can't see you.

Aw, Lisa.

Ooh, me and my stupid,

stupid back.

- I feel like
- I ruined the evening.

Oh, come on, baby,

we can still have fun.

Yeah.

Oh! Ooh!

- Here, here, here.
- Ooh.

Let me get that.

Here.

Ooh, that feels good.

Have you done this before?

Not with anyone

as pretty as you.

Oh, you have done this before.

Here, try some

of this melon.

Mmm.

It came in the

store today.

Ooh!

That's delicious.

- Well, you know, choosing
- the right melon is an art.

Yeah, I never knew

how to do that.

What's the secret?

Well, you got

to get real close

and feel it.

Mmm.

Oh, yeah, I feel it.

Then you got

to smell it.

Mmm.

Yeah, smells good.

And of course, the skin

should be firm but supple.

Just the way I like it.

And yet, it's

got to give.

Oh, it wants to give.

- I don't really know
- what I want to do with my life.

- Well, I'd like to do something
- to improve the environment,

- End world hunger
- and make a lot of money.

A girl as fine as you

should be a model.

Hey, Roger, you run out

of head and shoulders?

Huh?

I, uh, kind of dropped

some crumbs on your head.

Guess I'm lucky

you weren't eating

a sloppy Joe.

Brother's dancing like

he's got an electric wedgie.

This is so embarrassing.

Hey, guys, don't you want

to dance like normal people?

Oh, I'm sorry, tamera.

Do you want to dance?

Yes, I would.

Psyche!

- Come on, let's go
- to the bathroom.

Okay.

- You know,
- what is with him?

- I mean, he's never acted
- like this before.

- You know what really hurts?
- What?

This bra.

It's killing me.

- Come on, Roger,
- we're next.

How does my hair look?

- Looks fine
- from here.

- Hey, man,
- you're working me.

- Now, would you just
- take our picture?

Ooh, is it hot in here

or is it just us?

- If we were any hotter,
- we'd set off the smoke alarm.

- Come on,
- let's go to your room.

- Oh, I'd love to,
- Terrence, but...

What, you don't think

we're ready yet?

I don't think I can get up.

Allow me.

Oh, no, no, Terrence,

you got to be kidding.

No, no, no.

Come on, no, no.

Y-You're light as a feather.

- This is the second
- worst night of my life.

What was your first?

When I said, "yes, I'll go

to the dance with you."

Man, don't let those

girls back you down.

- We're having
- fun, right?

- Hey, Darnell, I got to be
- honest with you, man.

- You're really
- not that pretty.

- Hey, Roger,
- you need a high chair.

Okay, we're almost there.

- Well, you can put me
- down now, Terrence.

- I can make it - from here.
- No, no, no, no.

Don't worry, I lugged around

big sacks of potatoes all day

today.

Oh!

My back!

My back!

Home, ray, and step on it!

- Roger, what are
- you doing here?

I had enough.

I'm ready to go.

What about Kelly?

How's she supposed

to get home?

- She can take 20 giant steps
- and she's there.

So you just left her?

Don't you understand?

I mean, people were,

they were laughing at me.

- Oh, they weren't
- laughing at you.

- They were laughing
- at the situation.

I am the situation.

True.

- But before,
- they were laughing at you

Because you didn't

have a situation.

Now you have a situation.

- They're still laughing, but
- you're moving up in the world.

- When you go back
- to not having a situation,

Then they'll be

laughing at you.

- You're not a people person,
- are you, Mr. Campbell?

What is it with boys?

- They go to all this trouble
- to ask us out,

Get all dressed up,

then they run away from us.

- Yeah, what's
- wrong with them?

Where's Roger anyway?

I guess he's not used

to being with a tall girl.

- He's not used
- to being with any girl.

Oh, come on.

- I mean, it's great
- that you're tall,

- Because if you were short
- and weighed what you weigh,

You'd be fat.

- That's supposed
- to make you feel better.

Thanks.

- I really wish
- this night were over.

- Yeah, me, too.
- Guys are such jerks.

Yeah, sometimes I wish I was

on a planet that was all women.

Me, too.

No men allowed.

Except for the one we fly in

just to kill the spiders.

- Think you're the first kid
- to get laughed at?

- Man, when I was
- in school...

I know, everybody laughed

at you all the time.

- I was gonna say that
- I laughed at the other kids.

A lot.

- I'd hate to see
- that class picture.

Don't you get it?

- Kids are always laughing
- at other kids in school.

- That's the way
- high school can be.

- Because they're all
- so insecure.

- But it's just,
- for the first time in my life,

I felt short.

Well, tall or short,

doesn't matter.

The important thing is

you like Kelly.

I know you do,

- 'cause I saw how - you were
talking to her - In the back seat.

You were spying on us?

- No, no, no, I was spying
- on Tia and tamera,

- But Kelly kept getting
- her head in the way.

Tall, isn't she?

Yes,

but she's also very beautiful.

But even if she wasn't, uh,

she doesn't deserve

to be walked out on.

No lady does.

I guess you're right.

Well, then,

get back in there.

And, Roger,

you better do the right thing

- before Kelly finds
- somebody else.

That could happen.

I mean, she can see

for miles and miles.

Yo, yo, yo,

it's the last dance,

- so shimmy on up
- to your loved one

For your last chance

at romance.

Hi, Tia.

Hi.

Brought you some punch.

Why, is there a bug in it?

We were kind of jerks,

but we'd like

to make it up to you

if it isn't too late.

Want to dance?

Well, we're not

gonna leave Kelly

- without somebody
- to dance with.

Okay. Want to dance?

I'm kidding.

It's okay.

Go ahead. I'm fine.

Tamera?

Okay.

What do you say, Tia?

- Okay, fine,
- let's dance.

Sounds like fun.

Hi.

Oh, you're back.

Look, I'm sorry

I was so long.

I was gonna make up

some wild excuse,

- but I couldn't
- think of one.

- I know it's because
- I'm tall.

You are?

And you don't like

people laughing at you?

Think I'd be used to it by now.

- You know, you're not
- what I expected, either.

Okay, I guess

you figured it out.

- I'm not really trying out
- for the Detroit lions.

It's the tampa bay buccaneers.

You know, Roger,

- I don't really care
- about that kind of stuff.

- I guess you're just
- a bigger person than me.

Actually, I'm a bigger person

than most people.

Look, I really want

to dance with you,

- and I hope you really
- want to dance with me.

Okay, let's go, shorty.

You know, Darnell,

when you're like this,

I really like you.

- Yeah?
- Oh, yeah.

Being with a guy

who's mature and everything

is a real turn-on.

Yeah?

So why don't we sneak

out of here and cozy up?

Yeah?!

Psyche!

- Look, Tia, I don't know
- what happened tonight.

I don't know, either.

- Darnell and I have
- known each other

Since we were five years old,

- and I guess
- when we get together...

- You act like
- you're five.

I know I messed up.

Well, I just thought

tonight was gonna

be kind of special.

- I just wish we could start
- this night all over again.

Really? Well, what

would you do different?

Well, first of all,

I'd dump Darnell.

Then dance with you a lot.

Go on.

- Tell you
- how pretty you are.

Go on.

- And I'd never let you
- out of my sight.

Go on.

- Hey, Kelly?
- Yes?

How about after this

we go get some pizza?

- Oh, I'm starving.
- You must have read my mind.

- No, I heard
- your stomach growl.

So when I got

to eighth grade,

I-I switched from collecting

stamps to collecting coins.

And then I, um...

- Oh. - Oh. Oh,
- Somebody's calling!

- We got to get
- to the phone!

Ooh!

S.o.s.! S.O.S.!

I can't move!

Lisa: Hi. We can't get

to the phone right now.

We can't even get up!

Go on, don't be shy.

- Just leave us a message
- at the tone.

Ray: Well, Lisa, I see

that you're indisposed,

but don't worry.

We won't disturb you.

After a midnight snack,

I'm taking the kids

to an all-night

bowling alley. Bye.

No! Come home! Save us!

- Ray!
- Oh!

Ray!

Ooh.

So, then

in the ninth grade, I...

Oh, Terrence,

shut up and kiss me.

Ooh.

Mmm.