Sister, Sister (1994–1999): Season 1, Episode 2 - First Dates - full transcript

- Hi, girls. How
- was school today?

- Terrible.
- A slow, painful death.

Glad it's going better.

Excuse me.

What have you got there?

Oh, just some yarn.

- A customer asked
- me to repair a...

Are you kidding me?

This basket was handmade

in the 16th century

in a small village



off the coast of Zambia.

So it's not

from K-Mart?

No, it's not.

Well, I'm sorry,

I didn't realize.

All right.

- Just be careful
- next time.

Well, sure.

- W-What'd they use
- that for anyway?

The village women used it

to carry yarn.

♪ Talk about

a two-way twister ♪



♪ shakin' up the family tree

with sibling synchronicity ♪

♪ never knew

how much I missed you ♪

♪ Talk about

a two-way twister ♪

♪ no, it won't be

trouble-proof ♪

♪ never knew

how much I missed you ♪

♪ I ain't ever gonna

let... you... go ♪

Will you hurry up?

We're going to be

late for school.

- I have nothing
- to wear.

- There's a lot of things
- about going to school

That can make you mental.

Like clothing.

Or teachers.

Or the cafeteria.

- Why is it every time
- you walk in there,

You come out smelling

like fish sticks?

- Even on meat
- loaf day.

- But of all the things
- in school,

The number one pain is...

Not having a date.

- Not that we'd ever
- admit it.

Remember,

- school dance this week,
- so don't be meek.

- Oh, hey,
- check it out.

I am.

I meant the dance, Tia.

Oh.

- Well, how are
- the dances here?

- Weak. - Yeah, Mr. Finora,
- The science teacher,

Is always the d.J.

Yeah,

- and he thinks Dr. Dre
- discovered penicillin.

Hey, look, there's Phil.

He's so fine.

- I can never talk
- to a guy that cute.

Hi, Phil.

Hey, tamera.

Good game against central.

Thanks.

You're amazing.

So, are you going

to the dance, Sarah?

No way.

- And the dances
- here are so lame.

- Yeah, I'd rather
- curl up and die.

- Make room,
- I'll die with you.

Me, too.

Excuse me, Jamie?

- I was just
- wondering if...

- Yes. - you would like to
- Go to the dance...

Yes.

Aah!

Lisa!

Lisa.

Lisa...

- Lisa, we
- need to talk.

- Well, I'm sorry, ray.
- I was just putting some - Fresh towels in your bathroom.

- Don't you know
- how to knock?

Well, I said I was sorry.

You're the landlord;

get some locks.

- Maybe if you'd knock, I
- wouldn't have to get locks.

Well, maybe if you had 'em,

I wouldn't be put in such

an embarrassing situation.

You? I'm the one who

was caught... you know.

- But I'm the one
- who had to look.

No, you didn't.

- Yes, I did,
- I had to look.

It's human nature.

What'd you see?

Well, I didn't see much.

I mean, you know, I mean, not

that there wasn't much to see.

I, I mean,

it was all a blur.

Lisa.

Lisa, listen to me.

I need my privacy,

I need my dignity.

Mr. Dignity,

your privacy is showing.

- I know it's hard combining
- households like this, but, uh,

- We need to establish some,
- some house rules around here.

Okay, fine.

All right, rule

number one...

Uh, we always knock

before we open a door.

How was that, ray?

Good.

- Look, we got to
- find a way to,

- To live together here,
- you know?

- I mean, I'll put locks
- on all the bathroom doors,

- We can separate our food...
- That would be nice.

- I'll get a schedule, - I'll
put it right up here - When i...

- Wait, w-wait a minute,
- that's my tuna.

Needs more Mayo.

Give me that.

It's not going to ring

if you stare at it.

- Can you believe
- Jamie today?

- Yeah, I mean,
- she gets one date

- And she acts like she's going
- out with tevin Campbell.

- I mean, - Eric's not that cute.
- Right.

He's gorgeous.

I know.

So... have you been

on a lot of dates?

Oh, yeah.

When you say date,

what do you mean exactly?

- You know, a
- date with a boy.

Does a date

with a boy cousin count?

No.

Then I've never been

on a date.

What about you?

- I've never even been
- out with a cousin.

Do you think

we're, like, mutants?

No.

If we're 35 and still

having this conversation,

then we're mutants.

Well, I don't really care

if a guy calls me.

Me, either.

- You know, that phone
- doesn't seem to be working.

- Maybe your dad forgot
- to pay the bill,

And it's disconnected.

Dial tone.

- What if someone's trying
- to call right now?

- And they're getting
- a busy signal.

Hang up.

- Hi, girls,
- how's it going?

We don't have dates

for the dance.

Well, uh, you know how these

dances work now, don't you?

No, mom.

See, the cool guys

are never in a rush.

- The cool guys
- always take their time

- Because they're looking
- for the most beautiful girls.

Yeah?

- Well, see, the nerds,
- the geeks, the chumps...

They got to be quick

out the blocks.

Yeah, only the losers

- ask girls out
- this early.

- Hey, have you guys heard
- about the dance

This Saturday night?

Exhibit a.

- I know that I'm just
- your next-door neighbor

- And that I might not be
- very tall or very handsome,

- But, well,
- one of you girls wouldn't want

- To go to the dance with me,
- would you?

Uh...

I don't care which one.

Sorry, Roger.

- I mean, you're great
- and everything, but it's...

It's just that we don't think

of you as... a guy.

- Then what do you
- think of me as?

More like a,

a friend.

But I can be more

than a friend.

Roger, no offense, but...

You're in the eighth grade.

So what's the big deal?

- When you girls are a hundred,
- I'll be 99.

Well, maybe

we can go out then.

Well, maybe then

I'll be busy.

Mmm.

Oh...

Mmm.

Ah.

What, what are you doing

sitting in the dark?

Waiting for you, ray.

What are you doing?

- Trying to send me
- to an early grave?

You been reading my diary?

I don't usually eat this late.

Ah.

Excuse me, but

that's my milk.

Oh, yes, I'm sorry.

I, I hadn't noticed.

Yeah, you're out.

Yeah, I guess I am.

You can have

some of mine.

Why, thank you.

- But I wouldn't want to
- break your house rules.

Fine.

I'll have my cereal

with... with water.

Yes.

I like it that way.

Less fat.

- Oh, ray, it's all right.
- You can have some of mine.

- Thank you. - You can buy me a
- New carton tomorrow.

So, are the girls asleep?

- Mm-mm, they're
- still up,

Not waiting for a boy to

ask them to the dance.

- Boys.
- Where do they come from?

- Weren't you alert during health
- and science that day?

- It's just that the girls are
- really in for some rough times.

Being a teenager, dating,

feeling awkward, insecure.

I had me a good time.

I bet you did.

Some of us were very,

very popular in high school.

Mmm, must be tough

when you peak early.

Ooh...

Ooh... one for ray.

Well, I don't know,

- I just hope they have an
- easier time of it than I did.

- Wow, I mean,
- I was just...

- It was horrible
- asking a girl for a date.

I'd call her up and my hands

would start shaking

and my voice would tremble,

and I developed a twitch.

- Were you wearing
- a superfly hat?

No.

Just trying to paint

a mental picture.

Go on.

Well, anyway,

I was so nervous that

before the girl could

make up her mind,

- I'd yell,
- "the house is on fire!"

And I'd slam the phone down.

You're a fascinating

man, ray.

Don't forget

the school dance.

Grab a date

before it's too late.

Hey, Tia, hey, tamera.

Hey.

I can't believe it.

Sarah hooked up with

Scott Underwood.

- It's like everyone in school's
- got a date but us.

- Tia, what are you
- complaining about?

- I mean, you're new
- at this school.

- Everybody knows me, and I
- still don't have a date.

- Yeah, but I still
- want to go.

- Come on, if no
- one calls us,

- We'll still have a
- great time together.

Yeah, right.

How?

- We'll do each
- other's hair.

And each other's makeup.

- And we'll look so
- good, we'll go out.

- To the movies,
- and we'll get great seats

'cause everybody will be

at the... stupid dance.

Wait a minute.

What if you get a

date and I don't?

Well, what if you get

a date?

Okay, we've got

to make a pact.

Either we both go or

neither of us goes.

Deal?

Deal.

Hi, tamera, Tia.

Hi, Phil.

- I saw you
- at basketball practice today.

You were really great.

Thanks a lot.

Hi.

- Hi.
- Anyway,

I was sort of wondering

if you'd like to go

to the dance with me.

- Sure.
- Okay.

See you Saturday.

Great.

Saturday.

I got a date,

I got a date!

Are you mad at me?

Does the word "pact"

mean anything to you?

Relax, you'll get a date.

It's only Wednesday.

It's Thursday.

Thursday?

Ooh.

Well, somebody's going

to ask you.

Just go to the dance.

Dance your

brains out.

♪ I don't know

what time it was ♪

♪ I didn't know

what day it was ♪

♪ I don't know

what time it was ♪

♪ I, I, I, I, I,

yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

Hey, mom.

Hi, honey.

What are you doing?

Mrs. Clarkston escaped

from Jenny Craig again.

- I've altered this dress
- so many times

- The buttonholes
- have stretch marks.

What's up?

Nothing.

- Doesn't look
- like nothing.

It's just that tamera

got a date for the dance.

Oh, she did, huh?

- Well, honey,
- you're new at school.

- It's gonna
- take some time.

I feel like such a reject.

Now, just a minute, Tia.

It's true.

My daughter is not a reject.

Don't tell anyone

this, but...

You're the pretty twin.

Mom, we look

exactly alike.

- Do you know what
- this means?

- There must be something
- wrong with my personality.

What are you talking about?

- You've got a lot
- of personality.

You've got multiple

personalities.

I mean...

- Honey, you know what I...
- You're great.

- You're just saying that
- because you're my mom.

Uh-uh. I'd say that

if I were a neighbor.

I bet there are lots

of boys who'd love

to ask you out,

only they're too shy.

I know the feeling.

- You trust me, boys
- are just as scared as you are.

- They're probably sitting
- by the phone right now,

Sweating and twitching.

- They'd be talking
- to you right now,

- Only their house
- is burning down.

Mom, you're so weird.

It's the boys

who are weird.

- Sometimes, you've got to
- be the one to break the ice.

I bet if you walked up

and just started talking,

you'd draw them right in

like one of those

electronic bug zappers.

Charles!

What's up?

Uh, I think I just

blew a vocabulary quiz.

Hey, what does

"supercilious" mean?

"Supercilious"?

I think it

means pompous.

So it has nothing to do

- with being
- a really great clown?

Sorry.

So...

So...

So, big dance

this Saturday.

Yeah, sounds like fun.

A lot of fun.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, I hate

to be supercilious,

but I better get going.

- I got a lot
- of stuff to do.

- Me, too.
- Lots of stuff.

Sorry, Roger.

Oh, it's okay, Tia.

Thanks.

Roger?

If your offer's still good...

I'll go with you to the dance.

You will?

Oh, no!

Oh, man, oh, man!

Why me? Why me?

What's wrong with you?

I already have a date.

You do?

I mean, great.

Well, it's okay.

- I'll just tell her
- that I can't make it.

- Uh, I'll tell her
- that I'm sick.

- I'll tell her that I
- ate some bad spinach

And got the trots.

Forget it.

- I don't want to go
- to the dance anymore.

No, wait.

Tia!

Call me.

You two were gone a long time.

Yeah, we were looking for

just the right dress.

Right, one that covered

everything but my head.

- She's beautiful in it.
- Ooh!

Ooh, I love

the color, tamera.

- Yeah, it fits me great...
- It's real clingy...

Yet loose

at the same time.

Hey.

Hey.

Found a dress, huh?

- Hey, maybe you
- could borrow it sometime.

Thanks, it's really

not my style.

- I don't know why I have
- to feel bad

- Just because I got a date
- and she didn't.

Ouch.

So how do you feel

about all this?

- Well, I feel
- kind of helpless.

- I mean, it's not
- like I can go to school

- And grab some boy
- and say, "hey, you idiot,

You better take out

my daughter!"

Can I?

Nah.

Hey, it's not that easy

when they have a date.

You know, I asked tamera

- about this guy she's
- seeing Saturday.

- She wouldn't
- tell me a thing.

That's how it is, ray.

- The older they get,
- the less they tell you.

- You mean this
- is as good as it gets?

These are the golden years.

It used to be so easy.

- They'd fall off
- their tricycle,

You'd pick them up,

give them a

band-aid, popsicle.

Kiss the boo-boo.

Now the boo-boo wants

to kiss them.

Oh, I hate my hair!

It's fine.

I look like Lenny kravitz.

Look, Tia,

I know I broke the pact

and everything,

- but I was sure
- you'd get a date.

Forget it!

Look, I'll call Phil

and get out of it.

You'd really do that?

Yeah.

But please don't make me.

It's okay... just go.

Are you still mad at me?

Not really.

- Hey, do you know
- what would look great

With that outfit?

- I had these
- before we were twins.

Thanks.

Tamera!

Phil is here.

So, how are you

doing, Phil?

Fine, Mr. Campbell.

I had enough of that

Mr. Campbell stuff.

Just call me ray.

Great, ray.

You know, Phil, I remember

being a teenager,

- so I'm not going
- to hassle you.

Thanks, ray.

You're welcome, Phil.

- You see, I know you're
- going out there

To have just some good,

clean fun, right?

That's right, ray.

Hold that smile for me.

- Guess you want to remember
- tamera's big date, huh?

- No, this is in case I
- have to hunt you down.

Oh, tamera,

you look beautiful.

Yeah, you look hot.

I mean, beautiful.

Thanks, Phil.

- Uh, you two
- get over there.

Let me take your picture.

Uh, not so close, Phil.

- Daddy, we'll
- see you later.

Okay, uh, just a minute.

- Uh, Phil,
- be right with you.

What is it, dad?

I just want to remember

- how pretty
- you look right now.

We'll be late.

Yeah, uh, tamera?

I just want to say, uh,

have a great time...

- And I love you
- very much.

Please, take this beeper.

Good night, daddy.

- Good night.
- Good night, ray.

That's Mr. Campbell.

Now, you all have a good time.

Yeah, a lot of fun.

Y'all come back, y'hear?

I hate this!

I hate this whole dating thing!

Join the club.

Die, you little aphids, die.

Hi, baby... hungry?

A little.

- Well, listen now,
- we're gonna

- Have a great time
- tonight, just us girls.

- I ordered a pizza, got
- a fridge full of soda.

I found out where ray

hides his mallomars.

Mom, no offense, but I feel

like being by myself.

- Tia, that's not gonna
- solve anything.

- You know what
- I used to do?

- Mom, I don't want
- any more advice.

- Tia, I'm just trying
- to help.

Nothing worked.

- I tried talking
- to a guy.

I even asked out Roger.

Oh, baby.

Face it, i'm

no bug zapper.

- Tia, you're fine
- just the way you are.

Mom, please don't

try to cheer me up.

- Can I say
- just one more thing?

- Mom, I don't want to
- hear anything else.

It'll take

just five seconds.

- Tia, I know you're upset
- about tonight,

- But the thing is
- you're a terrific person.

- You're terrific whether
- you have a date or not.

- Look at me, I raised you
- without a man,

- And you turned out great,
- and I turned out great,

- So we're both great,
- and to hell with them anyway!

Oxygen!

I'll get it.

Oh.

Hi, Roger.

I was just on my way

to pick up my date.

- I wanted to show
- you my suit.

It's nice, huh?

You look great.

- Thanks, and it's
- a real tie.

It's not a clip-on.

Look, I just wanted to

tell you that tonight,

- when I'm dancing
- with my date,

I'll really be

dancing with you.

- And when I go
- to kiss her...

Assuming she doesn't

push me away...

I'll really be

kissing you.

- And what about
- when you say good night?

I'll be saying

good night to you.

Good night, Roger.

Roger, give it up!

Charles!

- Tia, I didn't know
- you lived here.

Yeah.

You ordered

pepperoni, right?

Yeah, I ordered pepperoni.

I didn't know

you had a job.

Yeah, I have a job.

Oh, this must look

pretty stupid.

- No, no, not at all,
- you look very debonair.

"Debonair" was on

your vocabulary quiz.

Oh, yeah, yeah, I know.

I got that one wrong, too.

Here, you gave me too much.

Thanks.

Well, see you.

Charles, I know

you're probably busy,

but do you want to stay

and have a piece of pizza?

Well, actually, this

was my last delivery.

Great, come on in.

- All right,
- nightmare on elm street!

Yeah, this is the part

- where she gets her
- head chopped off.

I love that part.

Ray!

Ray, ray, you have

to see this...

Cool, stereo.

Yeah.

Well, like we said,

- school dances
- can be a nightmare,

- But everything
- turned out great.

And we made a pact never

to make a pact again.

- And we'll never get
- so caught up on dating.

- Right, we're not gonna
- let guys rule our lives.

- Hey, that's Phil!
- It's Charles!

Get out of my way!