Sister, Sister (1994–1999): Season 1, Episode 10 - Wedding Bells & Box Boys - full transcript

Whoo! Good god almighty!

Nice shot, dad!

I'm just warming up.

My beeper.

- I think it's
- my beeper.

Well, I guess it's our beepers.

Maybe it's my beeper

beeping your beeper.

Hey, ray, work on

picking up the spare!

I'm working on it.



♪ Talk about

a two-way twister ♪

♪ shakin' up the family tree

with sibling synchronicity ♪

♪ never knew

how much I missed you ♪

♪ I ain't never gonna

let you go ♪

- I don't know
- what I did.

It's just stuck.

Let me give

it a try.

Um, what's your score?

Seven.



There.

You gave me a strike.

- This could be the
- night you bowl 300.

What's my dad doing?

- I think he's
- flirting.

Oh, this is so embarrassing,

not to mention gross.

- Oh, let him
- have a life.

He's a guy...

A lonely guy.

He's not lonely,

he's got us.

Oh, child, just

look the other way.

Pretend he's not making

a fool of himself.

Ooh, it's hard

to do, isn't it?

- Rumaki... I've never had this
- at a bowling alley.

- Well, I planned
- this fund-raiser,

- So I got to
- pick the food.

You're a good picker.

Come on, ray,

it's your turn!

Oh, is that

your wife?

- Oh, no, no, no way,
- definitely not.

She's not my wife.

Oh.

I'm not married.

Oh, what a coincidence.

Neither am I.

Oh.

I can't help looking.

It's kind of like when you

drive by a car accident.

- This is out
- of control.

They're swapping

business cards.

Oh, that's good, ray.

Let her know you got a job.

So, you own a

limo business.

By far my favorite

mode of transportation.

- And you're
- in public relations.

- That's quite a job,
- getting the public to relate.

Hmm, work it, ray, work it.

Well, I'm up next. I'd better

get back over there.

Nice meeting you.

- It was nice to meet you,
- ray Campbell.

Yes.

Sorry about the delay.

No problem, stud muffin.

Rented shoes, rented.

So, that's how they met.

- She called him for
- a business lunch.

- And he called her
- for a business dinner.

- We kind of figured the
- business part was over

When one of their meetings

was on a sailboat at sunset.

- Anyway,
- she finally came over,

And we met her

for the first time.

Oh, ray,

you look awfully dapper.

- Where you going? - Oh, Beverly's
- Picking me up.

We're going to the theater.

Ah, the theater.

I haven't been there

since I saw naked gun 2.

What do you think of this tie?

I love it.

I'm changing it.

- I knew that would get him
- to change that butt-ugly tie.

Hi, I'm Beverly Simms.

- Ooh, that's quite a grip
- you've got on that handshake.

I'm sorry.

- I spent the whole
- day in the boardroom

- And forgot to leave the
- power handshake behind.

- Oh, I hate
- when that happens.

- Come on in.
- Thank you.

Well, you must be Lisa.

- Ray's told me
- so much about you.

Oh, yeah?

What'd he tell you?

He said that you were

a lovely person,

- oh, and that you live
- over the garage,

Kind of like fonzie.

Ray...

Ray is so funny.

Yeah, everybody

laughs at ray.

So, he tells me

you... knit?

I sew.

That's wonderful.

- You know, I'm not domestic
- in the least.

I just don't have the time

with my career and all.

Well, it is my

career and all.

I'm a fashion designer.

Good for you.

Oh, well, you must be

the twins.

Good eye.

I'm Beverly Simms.

Ow.

Now, which is which?

- I'm tamera.
- I'm Tia.

- Okay, now, you may have
- to remind me again,

- Or maybe we can get Lisa
- to knit you some name tags.

So, how old are you?

No, no, wait.

Ray told me.

Let's see, uh, 12?

Fourteen.

Oh, that's so cute

the way they do that.

- Yeah, we're thinking
- of putting 'em in the circus.

Oh, here's funny ray now.

Hello, Beverly.

Hi.

- Ray, I love
- your tie.

Well, thank you.

- Oh, well,
- I see you met everybody.

- Yes, we've become
- fast friends.

Ooh, yeah,

my head is spinning, ooh.

So, shall we go?

- Yeah, we don't want
- to miss the curtain.

- You crazy kids,
- you have a good time.

Get away from me!

I hate cats!

I mean, it's not

that I hate them,

it's just

that I'm so allergic.

- It's okay, I
- hate cats, too.

You do?

Yeah, always have,

always will.

We have so

much in common.

So, what'd you think?

Oh, she's nice,

she seemed nice.

She hated her.

So... how old are you?

Twelve?

Oh, that's so cute

the way they do that.

- (Both mimicking
- Beverly's laugh)

- Please.
- Please.

Can you believe

- how much perfume
- she was wearing?

Yeah, I bet she was just trying

to cover up her b.O.

- You know, I think your dad
- really likes her.

What if they're in love?

Love?

You rang?

- Roger, we're talking
- about my dad.

Oh, yeah,

- I just saw him
- with the most beautiful woman.

- Too bad
- he got to her first.

Roger, don't spy

on my father.

Okay.

Tell me everything.

Well, he was looking into

her eyes, kind of like this.

Roger, stop that.

Don't you understand?

I'm offering myself

to you now,

while I'm still young

and you can mold me.

Uh-oh.

Uh-oh what?

Well, I just thought,

- if they fall in love
- and get married,

Then she'll be moving in,

- and, Tia, you and your mom
- will be moving out.

Oh, man, that's right.

- Don't worry, you
- can move in with me,

And your mom can go

to the "y" or something.

Tamera, do you think

that could happen?

Hey, come on, Beverly's gross.

- I'm sure my dad will see
- right through her.

There's nothing to worry about.

Tia.

Tia.

Tia!

Oh, good, you're up.

What's going on?

- It's after midnight,
- and my dad's not home.

That's weird.

Your dad's always home.

- This is
- so inconsiderate.

- He could have
- at least called.

What, is it too hard

to pick up a phone?

- And after all we've done
- for him.

Oh, they're here.

I can't believe this.

- Beverly's getting
- out of the car.

Miss thing

should be going home.

She is so cheap.

Well, this is wrong.

- We shouldn't be watching
- from here.

You're right.

We can see better

downstairs.

I really had

a great time.

- This has been
- quite an evening.

Mm-hmm.

- Let's see, the theater,
- the coffee house,

And all on a school night.

Ray, you need

to get out more.

- Oh, I get out. It's just
- that it's hard sometimes,

You know, when you have kids

to take care of.

Well, uh, who's going

to take care of ray?

I wonder who.

It's me...

And you, ray.

Ew!

Ew!

She has got to go.

As the days went on, we saw

more and more of Beverly.

She was like this fungus

that wouldn't stop growing.

- We knew we had
- to get rid of her.

- Yeah, and there
- was no way

- We were going to
- be split up again.

- Well, I finally came up
- with a plan.

- I told her it was
- pretty stupid.

Like that was going

to stop us.

- So, do you
- like my dad?

Very much.

He's really nice.

- And his medication's
- working great.

He hasn't had

his fits.

Fits?

- Well, don't tell him
- we told you this,

But sometimes he thinks

he's James brown.

Oh, good god

almighty!

See?

Well, I'll tell you,

girls, I like ray,

but, uh, I love

James brown.

I love your eyes.

And I love the way

you love my eyes.

And I love the way you love

the way I love your eyes.

Mm-hmm.

Oh, that flea bag!

Here.

Oh, ray.

Beverly Simms, please.

Yes, uh, this is ray

Campbell's secretary, Felicia.

Yes, I'll hold.

Can you believe

she's making me hold?

She is working

my last nerve.

She's in a meeting?

Oh, fine.

Tell her Mr. Campbell

has to cancel his date.

He's developed a

serious illness.

Oh, well, it's, uh,

tetanus complicated by...

Cholera.

Oh, cholera,

accompanied by a,

a yeast infection.

- And he's feeling
- much better.

Ignore the call.

What are you doing?

Ordering a pizza?

Don't be cute, tamera.

I want you two to quit

interfering

with me and Beverly.

Not again!

Yes, again.

- And I'm getting
- sick and tired of it.

Lisa, you think this is funny?

- Oh, now, I know
- it's very serious, ray,

- But that James brown thing
- did tickle me.

"Oh, good god almighty!"

I'm sorry.

Now, I'm sorry you two don't

like Beverly, but I do.

- But, dad, we don't think
- she's right for you.

- I'm not sure if Beverly's
- right for me either,

- But I'm gonna keep seeing
- her until I find out.

And if she's not right for me,

- I'm gonna date
- a lot of other women

Until I find the right person.

I totally agree with ray.

- I don't know where he's
- gonna find all these women,

But I totally agree.

The bottom line is

I am going to be dating,

so get used to it.

Got it?

- Got it.
- Got it.

And we did get it.

Dad was gonna date.

- But like he said,
- it's just a matter of

Finding the perfect person.

And we felt the least

we could do was help.

After all, we knew

the perfect person.

♪ The itsy bitsy spider

came down the water spout ♪

♪ down came Lisa

and blew those suckers out ♪

Hey, mom, what are you doing?

I'm on bug patrol.

Mom, maybe you should

change into something,

you know, more sexy.

Why?

So I can seduce

the orkin man?

- No, it's just that Beverly's
- coming over tonight,

And she always looks so nice.

- I don't care what
- Beverly thinks.

Well, Ray's home.

I care even less

what ray thinks.

You know, for

your age group,

Ray's a cute guy.

That old man?

He is not in my age group.

Please, I am in my prime.

- You know,
- ray hates spiders, too.

I can't believe

- how many things
- you guys have in common.

We're both black.

Name another one.

- Well, okay, maybe you don't
- have much in common,

But that's good, too,

because opposites attract.

Think about it.

I'm coming for you, Charlotte.

- Uh-uh, don't be
- calling for wilbur.

I ate him for lunch.

- What are
- you making?

- Oh, I'm making dinner
- for Beverly.

- We're gonna have
- Caesar salad,

Uh, pasta with my special

marinara sauce...

Hmm, needs more of

my secret ingredient.

Ragu.

- I'm sure
- she'll like it.

I bet Lisa would

like it, too.

You know, you're right.

I'd better hide it.

How was school?

It was good.

We talked about this really

good book, madame bovary.

I really don't remember, but

I think it was about this guy

who was going out

with all these women...

Evil women with bad perfume.

But the whole time, the

perfect woman for him

- was right there
- in his own house.

- I really don't
- remember her name,

But I think it was

Liza or, uh, Lisa.

Lisa bovary?

A good woman.

Think about it.

Uh, I think the bread

plate goes on the left.

No, the right.

- No, left.
- No, right.

No, stop it, ray.

I'm just having a

little fun with you.

You're so easily amused.

- I want you to know I'm taking
- the girls bowling tonight,

- Just in case they decide to
- set Beverly's hair on fire.

Thank you.

What's so funny?

Something Tia said.

Really made me laugh.

- She's trying to fix me up...
- With you.

- If you think
- that's funny,

Tamera tried to fix me up

with you.

It's not that funny, ray.

Yeah, right.

Tia wanted me to wear

something more sexy.

Sexier than

that bug outfit?

- Makes you want to take me to
- a roach motel, doesn't it?

- Why do you suppose all of a
- sudden they want to fix us up?

I guess it's

obvious.

- It is?
- Mm-hmm.

Poor things.

- They're worried
- if one of us gets married,

They have to split up again.

Oh, that's ridiculous.

- I wouldn't do
- anything like that.

- I mean, if I got married,
- we'd work something out.

You get married?

- Maybe I'll
- get married.

Well, if you get married,

I'll give you away.

Well, fine.

I'm registered

at Tiffany's.

- Oh, these napkins
- are nice.

- Make sure you take 'em out
- before you pour the wine.

Thanks.

No biggie.

I think I'll go

round up the girls.

- What's that you're,
- uh, wearing?

- Is that new
- perfume?

Yeah. Black flag.

See ya.

Okay.

That salad

was delicious.

Wait till you

taste my pasta.

Well, I love a man who knows

his way around the kitchen.

Would you like a slice?

You need a woman

in your life, ray.

Well, maybe you should

come around more often.

You know, I was

thinking that

maybe next weekend the two of

us could go away someplace.

- Maybe I'll pack
- my going-away bag.

- But I'll have to, uh, make sure
- the girls are okay.

- I'll check with Lisa, make sure
- she's not going anywhere.

Where would she go?

Yeah, you're right.

- Well, anyway,
- the weekend after that,

- We should definitely
- do something with the girls.

Sure.

That'd be great.

They're really a lot of fun.

Today, they did

the cutest thing.

They tried to fix up...

Ah. Never mind.

No, tell me.

No, no, no,

you-you had to be there.

- Ray, you can
- tell me anything.

I like to laugh.

Okay, it's really silly.

Great. Come on.

Okay.

- Lisa was dressed in this
- weird outfit, killing bugs.

Mm-hmm.

- And I was in
- the kitchen cooking.

- And the girls were running
- around trying to fix us up.

No, picture this.

Bug outfit,

big can of bug spray.

Funny stuff.

I knew you had to be there.

Look, ray, that

woman is after you.

In a bug outfit?

And those girls are

out of control.

I mean, they really

need some discipline.

Oh, come on,

they're just kids.

Ray,

they're wonderful,

but they're kind of

like... puppies.

- I mean, they're cute
- chewing on your slipper,

- But if you don't
- whip them into shape,

They'll tear up

the whole house.

- Well, maybe I should send them
- to obedience school.

Don't worry, ray.

We'll straighten

them out together.

Yeah, together.

I don't feel

like bowling.

It's no fun

without teams.

Well, we could all

go to the lounge

- and watch
- all the pathetic people

- Smoke cigs
- and hit on each other.

- Okay!
- Okay!

- Oh, good god
- almighty!

- Dad!
- Hi, ray!

- All right, how
- about a game?

Where's Beverly?

- I don't think I'm gonna be
- seeing much of Beverly anymore.

Really?

Oh, that's

too bad.

- I'm sorry.
- Ah, it wasn't meant to be.

Come on, let's bowl.

Oh, okay. You're on.

All right,

- it's just the
- four of us.

Brooklyn!

Oh, Brooklyn,

Brooklyn, Brooklyn!

Manhattan.

- Hi.
- Hi.

I was watching

you bowl.

I know.

I was watching you watch.

Do you think he'll fall for

that James brown thing?

Lisa, the game.

Has just begun.

Oh.

- So, I see you
- here a lot.

Are you in a league?

I'm in a league of my own.

How about you?

- Uh, well, I'm in
- a singles league.

Oh, I like that.

- So, tell me, how do you get
- your ball to curve like that?

It's such a masculine curve.

- Well, it's
- called a hook.

Here, let me show you.

Okay, now...

Bend your knees.

And you keep your arm

close to the body.

Yours or mine?

It's like watching

a train wreck, isn't it?

Go, go!

Yes!