Sister Boniface Mysteries (2022–…): Season 1, Episode 9 - Sister Town - full transcript
I hope you brushed up on
that German of yours, Sister.
Oh, yes.
Brushed, buffed and
varnished, Mayor.
Or should I say
geburstet, poliert-
All right, we get it.
Oh, hold on to your hats.
Gosh!
That's Herr Fischer?
Or Herr Disher I should say.
The interview I was planning
just got a lot more interesting.
On behalf of the Sister's
of St. Vincent's Convent.
Thank you, how very...
Mayor Hartley.
Iris, how wonderful to
finally meet you in person.
Deputy Mayor Diggory, hello.
Which must make you
Inspector Gillespie.
Sam, please.
Great to meet you, Herr Fischer.
Friends call me Karl.
As Mayor of Grosse Kienitz,
thank your for all your work
in the twinning of
our two great towns.
Rodney Bishop.
I'll go.
What, don't look at us!
-I am so sorry.
-A-ha!
Please, no fuss.
You can't make the
beautiful omelette,
without breaking some eggs.
They have it out of
their system now,
so what more can go wrong, huh?
Order!
Order!
Order!
Please!
Order is in short supply
in my Post Office,
just clod hopping boot
prints from corner to corner!
-Exactly.
-Absolutely.
I can't understand a word
these Russians say either!
-Germans, Dotty.
-Mayor Hartley.
These visiting soldiers,
they're upsetting my
regulars at the Spitfire.
I had to bar a
couple last night.
Singing our National
Anthem, drunk!
It's a scandal.
Order!
This meeting was called
to arrange final details.
I'm not quite sure
what you expect.
-Something better.
-Sam,
as head of Twinning Committee.
They're just boys away
from home having some fun.
Let's give them a
bit of leeway, eh?
That's easy for you to
say, it ain't your pub!
I understand how
you feel, Bertie.
It ain't your brother who
died in the war, neither.
That pub was half his!
You didn't complain
when we asked to host
the civic dinner there.
Look, your Anti-Twinning
Committee made its case.
We put it to vote,
and it passed in favour.
By one lousy vote.
With people forced to
tow the party line,
ain't that right, Deputy?
I may, I have had my doubts
about this endeavour,
but we must respect
the democratic process.
This twinning is happening!
And you may not know it yet,
but everyone will get
something out of this.
-Lederhosen.
-Delightful.
The traditional
attire of Bavaria.
Why don't you try them on, Sam?
I'm sure they'd look splendid.
Thank you, Ruth.
I think that's enough
photos for today.
Didn't realise we were
hosting Himmler himself.
Sam, I shall truly
know we are friends
when you are wearing
these in our honour.
And I thought a little gift for
your offices, Mayor Hartley.
How lovely.
And in return,
allow us to present
-wine.
-Oh, yes.
Grown and produced here
in Great Slaughter,
by our very own Sister Boniface.
Absolute, we all want to try.
Sister, may I say your
German is most impressive.
Oh, thank you.
One doesn't like to
blow one's own trompete.
I translated in the war.
Were you active also
in the war, Mayor?
Yes, I volunteered
for the Red Cross.
What about you, Sam?
-Infantry.
-Luftwaffe, myself.
When your boys shot
me down over Leeds,
I saw out the war in Eden Camp.
-Oh, I must say-
-Must we keep talking
about the war, Karl?
It's just talk, darling.
In the morning,
I thought it best we have
a bit of a run through.
A dress rehearsal before
curtain up, and all that.
You too of course,
General Stark.
Most congenial.
Actually, my men and I
wish to remain outside
during the twinning ceremony.
Ah, nonsense!
We want everybody there!
Let's make a toast.
To friendship, God willing.
And how you say?
No more sour grapes.
Mm, lovely.
Halt!
What are you looking at, Fritz?
Eh, you got a problem?
Right Rodney Bishop,
if you don't do one right now-
You'll what?
I'll tell all your
mates that Tom Thomas
had to fish you out of that
cess pit last Christmas,
when you got tipsy
on your dad's cider.
Go.
I must say, I admire a
woman with authority.
General Start of the
15th Panzer Division.
Udo to my friends.
Woman Police Constable Button.
-And to your friends?
-Peggy.
I sincerely hope to earn the
honour of that nomenclature,
during my brief sejour.
Now if you'll excuse me,
I must attend a rehearsal,
and my men must
polish their weapons.
First item we'll have
in the running order
is the unveiling of
our new joint memorial.
Herr Fischer, as German Mayor,
-we hoped you'd do the honours.
-Yeah, of course.
And may I say, your
town hall really is-
I'm sorry, we do have
less than an hour.
Ellis, could you
quickly demonstrate?
If you really can't work it out.
Single draw string, pull and.
The memorial
to the fallen.
Yeah.
Schone.
It is my hope that
with this twinning,
we might put the past behind us.
With this in mind,
Mayor Karl Fischer
now has something
he wishes to unveil for us all.
Flipping heck, what did you do?
Come here, give it to me!
-He's dead.
-Oh, no!
We'll need to
contact his family.
I'm so glad they weren't here,
such a terrible accident.
I don't think so,
the accident part I mean.
Observe.
Four steel pins up there on
the wall for the memorial,
but the four nuts to
hold it there, missing.
This was rigged.
But that means murder.
I'm afraid it's worse.
Logic suggests the
intended victim was Karl.
Gerrymandered for
Gerry, if you like.
Someone would really do this?
Are we in danger?
Please, don't panic.
Who else had access to the
hall after the rehearsal?
The front doors were locked.
We're the only ones who get
in and out, apart from Ellis.
And Bertie Bishop.
He was helping him put up
the plaque this morning,
I believe they're all friends.
Herr Fischer,
do you have any other
connections with someone here?
Any communication from someone
who might bear a grudge?
-No.
-Are you absolutely sure?
All of you?
Well...
"Last chance, stop.
Just stop,
stop.
Send Kraut home, or
someone gets hurts, stop."
I didn't wanna cause a panic,
I just thought it was
some local nut job.
No addressee,
surprise, surprise.
Hang on, this stamp.
This telegram was sent from
here in Great Slaughter.
The senders form, no name.
It was left in my inbox.
I don't critique
telegrams, Inspector.
I simply send them out.
Besides, I don't approve
of this civic union,
and neither would my Cyril,
God bless his dear
departed soul.
Young man,
kindly remove your grubby
hands from my bonbons!
Thank you, Mrs. Clamm.
Sir, can you tell me why Felix
now appears to have a shadow
that bears a resemblance to
somebody in a nun's habit?
Look, keep your conjecture
out of circulation
until we know more.
Oh, so it was foul play?
Sorry Sam, but you know
the interest in the thing.
The public appetite.
Which is why I'm asking.
Mr. Non Committal,
the lone wolf.
And yet here you are,
the life and soul
of this twinning.
Why is it so important to you?
Ruth, I'm asking as a friend.
It appears our gerrymanderer
had the foresight
to wear gloves.
A formidable foe.
-Would you mind?
-Of course, Sister.
Oh!
-Oh.
-Do you have something?
If by something you mean
some kind of smudge,
it's mostly evaporated.
No, I'm going to
need more than that.
There must be something, Felix.
-Thank you.
-You're welcome.
Sister.
Wait, look.
A water droplet.
Oh bravo, Felix.
Yes, droplets.
Clear liquid,
presumably the very same
as was smudged up
there on the wall.
Oil, for loosening the nuts.
Let's see if Percy the pipette
can't help us find an answer.
Hold the line,
we may just have another caller.
One hit man's hanky.
Oh my, it looks quite damp.
This is all anti-twinning
correspondence?
-I had no idea.
-Yeah, well.
Didn't wanna burden
the Twinning Committee.
-What's this?
-Oh, that's unrelated.
It's the invoice of
fitting the memorial.
Wait, a mixture of printed
and cursive letters.
The loop on the bottom of the S.
I don't believe it,
this is our match.
-But it can't be, that's-
-Ellis Everett.
Your threatening telegram
came from the murder victim.
This is ridiculous,
are you telling me that even
he was against the twinning?
I'm afraid so.
What do you want, Bertie?
Just to deliver this.
It's a formal signed petition
to delay the twinning
indefinitely,
in respect of Ellis's wishes.
Only the messenger.
Bureaucratic bull.
He can't swan in here
and demand we postpone.
Unfortunately, he can.
With this number of signatories,
I'm duty bound to
put it to the council
for a vote in the morning.
Please tell me you
have something?
Gird those loins,
I believe I may.
Sweat and, or saliva,
presumably produced
by the killer
in the effort of rigging
the bronze plate to fall.
I believe it's
why we found this.
In here is a handkerchief.
Now everything I've seen so far,
suggests our sweaty slayer
used it to wipe
their face and neck.
Sadly, it's standard cotton.
It's near impossible to trace.
So, it's useless?
Oh, ye of little faith.
Smell.
Come on, give it a
jolly good snuffle.
What is that?
Smells kind of sweet, fruity.
I presume it became infused
with the cologne,
perfume or cream.
Ergo, if I can identify
precisely what,
then Bob's your uncle
and Fanny's your aunt.
These are the people
who had access.
Bertie Bishop
opposes the twinning,
and Laurence Diggory only
voted for it under pressure.
They both have a motive.
General Stark-
Not exactly chummy with Karl.
And Elsa, you can cut the
tension in that marriage
with a chainsaw.
So they've all got motive,
except for Iris Hartley.
I think we need to find out
more about Karl Fischer.
I'll run a background check.
And I'm gonna talk to an
old friend from the forces,
see if the Eden Camp
had any records.
Until then, Sister, pray.
If this vote doesn't go through,
all of this will have
been for nothing.
Roger that.
What is going on?
They are laughing in
our faces, that's what.
Look!
-Rache.
-Rache.
It means revenge.
Which one of you
Sauerkraut's did it, eh?
Lock 'em up, Peg
doll, lock 'em all up.
You're not helping.
Right, everyone needs
to go home, okay?
Let us deal with this, go on.
I assure you Inspector,
this is not the
undertaking of my soldiers.
Perhaps it would help
if I was seen to be
assisting in some way.
Excellent idea.
Button, as of tomorrow,
General Stark will
be assisting you.
But Sir, dad will kill me.
That's settled then.
Well, the morning then.
Wunderbar.
Most of this I got from a source
I cultivated in Karl's offices,
had a thing for feurige
englische frauen.
-Hm?
-Fiery English women.
-Anyway.
-Anyway, it's all here.
Marriage, finances.
The elephant in the room,
Karl was penniless
before he married Elsa.
Heiress to an
enamelware dynasty,
old family money.
He even took her
name in marriage.
Oh dear, Peggy, are you poorly?
I wish.
Mum says I have to take one if
I forget my glass of orange.
I suppose I'll be off then.
For Queen and country, Button.
What's this?
Eden Camp,
I got it from the North
Yorkshire County Records Office.
-Is that Karl?
-Ever the ladies man.
Lucky girl.
Shall we tell Elsa?
Now, why would I want to ruin
a 10 year marriage
of convenience?
His status, the Mayorship,
it's all because of her.
Uh, uh, uh, not so fast.
What's it worth?
I'm thinking an interview.
Sam Gillespie, why this
twinning is so important.
His experience of war laid bare.
Good try, but this
is now evidence.
And the last thing that
Great Slaughter needs
is reminded of the war.
Right.
Sister, you're up early.
Cosmetic shopping,
but that's not why I'm here.
Well, I've got to get to
the vote at the council.
Yes, and the Lord
detests a gossip,
but Sister Redge said
that Nurse Mayfield
heard from Mike the
Mechanic at the Spitfire,
that Laurence Diggory plans
to vote against the twinning.
But he voted for last time.
Under duress, and
if memory serves,
the twinning only squeezed
through by a single vote.
The trade arrangements
affect real livelihoods.
You know, one German company
begged us to block
the whole thing,
said it would ruin them.
It's about more than
just business, though.
Look, you were in the
army, weren't you?
Royal Warwickshire
Regiment, yes.
Well, so was I.
And don't you wanna
put all that behind us?
Make amends for all the
things we saw and did?
But Inspector,
the person who did this
is still out there.
My first time,
so
here goes.
Council, there are nine votes.
For a motion to pass,
we required a majority
of at least six.
Five, Dotty.
Of course, five.
Silly me.
Now as Chairwoman, I shall
remain entirely impartial,
so those who wish this
awful twinning to proceed,
please raise a hand.
One.
Two.
Three.
Four.
A no from Tom.
Only four in favour,
is that everyone?
Last chance.
Going...
Going...
Five!
Well then, I hereby confirm.
The twinning will
go ahead tomorrow.
You're lucky I'm in a good mood,
spending half my annual
budget on creams and colognes.
Money well spent, I assure you.
Although in this case,
none of them matches the
chemical makeup of the sweat.
What?
They'll make excellent additions
to the Sister's charity tombola.
So, all this for nothing?
Au contraire, all this was
a process of elimination.
The spectroscopy tests
finally allowed me
to pin down our peculiar pong.
Acetone.
I'm waiting for the punchline.
When people with a glucose
deficiency run out of sugar,
their body starts burning fat.
That in turn produces ketones.
Now crucially, ketones are said
to have a distinctive smell,
just like pear drops.
-That's what I could smell.
-Precisely.
The smell on the hanky,
that's the saliva
and sweat itself.
I believe our
killer has diabetes.
Gold star, Sister!
But how do we determine
which suspect has diabetes?
A urine sample?
Erm,
yes.
It is a joke!
Your famous British
sense of humour, huh?
I'm afraid not.
She's saying they
should have left.
We hide in fear in our hotel,
only to be called
for this.
I cannot, I only just
went.
Yes, I'm sorry.
I'm not quite sure
I can go on demand.
Perhaps we might bring
a sample at our leisure?
Sorry, it has to be done
here to ensure no tampering.
I'm happy to, if it's useful.
I was also there, of course.
May I have a glass
of water to help?
Whatever gets the
mill wheel turning.
Take your time.
I'm afraid I'm gonna
have to leave you
in Sister Boniface's
capable hands.
There's a blow for
diplomatic relations.
They looked at me
like I was taking the,
well come to think of it,
that's exactly what I was doing.
What have you got?
While they go about
their business,
here is another.
The German company that
Laurence mentioned,
you remember the one he said
tried to block the twinning?
Yes, go on.
Well, he was right.
Kuckuck.
-I beg your pardon?
-That's its name, Kuckuck.
It's German for
cuckoo, I believe.
An old family business,
they supply precision
parts for cuckoo clocks.
Of course they do.
The problem is,
this new trade deal means
a local company here
is able to undercut them.
So the twinning will ruin
this Kuckuck company.
Exactly, a family destitute.
And guess who's family?
I think it's
a paintbrush bristle.
Yes, conceivably from
a round haired brush.
A brush with bristles
tapered for detail work.
How'd you know all that?
Oh, I admit, I
recurrently dabble.
In my own time,
landscapes and such.
You see, Bavaria is a
very beautiful place.
I've never been abroad.
Tried a curry once.
I think you would like
my hometown very much.
What's it like then?
Like a fairytale,
with forests and mountains.
I still recognise
it's sublimity.
My family think me
excessively fanciful,
but they make the
parts for clocks.
Cold, sharp.
I am no machinist.
Well, my family
are all butchers.
I'm no butcher.
So we are both the little
black sheep, quite the team.
Sergeant, greetings.
Do you require
something from me?
Actually, yes.
Actually, no.
I understand it's unorthodox.
It is an inestimable insult.
I am willing to admit that I
was opposed to the twinning.
If you must know,
I begged Herr Fischer
on behalf of my family.
This was not an inconsiderable
exercise for a man like me,
perhaps you can imagine.
But Herr Fischer
would not be turned.
He was adamant Grosse Kienitz
will be twinned with this town,
and nowhere else.
And why is that, General Stark?
A very good question.
Regardless, I am a soldier
and I follow orders,
even if they run
contrary to my feelings.
I had assumed, Detective
Inspector Gillespie,
that you, as a former military
man, would understand this.
I do, it's why I have no
choice but to ask this of you.
He seemed nice.
Do you think General
Stark's a wrongun?
Well, he was right
about this bristle.
Horse hair, fine.
Probably used for detail work.
You know, I do believe
there's dried paint on here,
as well as the red.
Oil based.
I can see
blue
and possibly green.
Can you like, scrape it off?
Well, I reckon I
could identify it.
Then I reckon this vandal
messed with the wrong WPC.
You're sure?
Yeah, all right.
Good chat, we'll speak then.
A development?
My friend is sending over
some army documentation
on the Eden Camp,
but something came up, a name.
-One of those photos.
-Who's name?
The Mayor.
Your background check confirmed
that she'd volunteered
in the war, yes?
For Red Cross, but we
didn't know which camp.
-Not Eden Camp?
-The very same.
The one that Karl recovered
in after being shot down,
the one he spent the
rest of the war at.
It is, that's Iris
bloody Hartley.
As it happens,
we were in love.
Yes.
Very much.
He was just a boy.
I nursed him,
and
well.
I begged him to stay,
but he knew his family
would be worried about him,
so.
He promised to come back,
only-
He never did.
He hurt you.
In ways he never knew.
I was pilloried
for my
entanglement.
Sleeping with enemy
is what they said.
It's the reason
I came down here.
He destroyed my life,
and just marched back into it.
And you had no idea at all?
How could I, he
changed his name.
And now suddenly he's
here giving gifts,
and acting like I'll
fall back into his arms.
Is there any way Elsa
might know about this?
It's precisely what worries me.
And for our final tinkle
test, Frau Elsa Fischer.
Verdammt.
Excuse my German, but
according to these tests,
none of our suspects
has diabetes.
Perhaps you got this
one wrong, Sister.
Fiddlesticks and fudge,
it makes no sense.
There must be someone else.
We have our list of suspects,
unless you think somehow
I perpetrated the crime.
I'll stop you there, I was
mainly being facetious.
Force of habit.
But one thing is clear,
we're missing something.
Unless it's being
concealed from us.
It says here that Karl
Fischer was shot down,
and he was arresting wearing
the Knight's Cross of the
Iron Cross with Oak Leaves.
He's a war hero.
He certainly kept that quiet.
I think it's time for a drink.
You think I came here,
that I brought my wife,
to try and win
Iris Hartley back?
I had a heart attack last year,
it was nearly the end,
and it made me think about
the pain I caused her.
It has haunted me.
But she never replied
to a single letter.
Why didn't you tell us?
Because I didn't want
Elsa to find out,
and I still don't, hmm?
Elsa always feared I
married her for money.
She knew there was
a British girl,
but I promised her she was
nowhere near Great Slaughter.
Well now you know
everything, hmm?
Not quite.
The Knight's Cross of the
Iron Cross with Oak Leaves.
That?
I was awarded the Knight's
Cross for my services
on the night of the
14th November, 1940.
You flew the
Coventry Blitz?
Churches,
hospitals,
hundreds of people.
There was never
any honour in that.
So,
I am ashamed.
Good evening, gentlemen.
Oh, and Sam.
Room for eine kleine one?
Miss Penny, please sit.
I was just finishing.
Sam, I am sure you
have your reasons
for wanting this
twinning to go ahead.
For me, that is what it means.
Atonement.
I bid you goodnight, my friends.
Tomorrow, we shall be twins.
Good night.
Why is this so important to you?
It is the war, isn't it?
You know, Karl isn't the
only one I researched.
Second Lieutenant Gillespie.
Sandhurst Training, 1940.
1st Battalion, Suffolk
Regiment on Sword Beach.
Witnessed heavy losses,
hand to hand combat.
A bayonet injury to
your left shoulder.
I'm not one of
your stories, Ruth.
Good night.
Good night.
Let's go home.
Whoever tried to kill you.
My love, I have to
see this through.
But why?
Why, Karl?
It's her, isn't it?
The girl you talked
about from the war.
It's Iris, that
is why we're here.
It's not what you think.
What is going on?
Where is Button?
I barely saw her this morning,
all I could glean was that
she and Sister Boniface
had some kind of paint
related breakthrough.
St. George Royal
Red, British Blue,
and Spitfire Emerald Green.
Oil based gloss paints,
all ordered to 22 Langford Road,
which is the Spitfire
public house.
Yeah, Bertie Bishops place.
Oh look, Sister.
Fresh job.
Red, green and blue.
If you'll indulge me,
I'd say he's painted himself
into a corner somewhat.
Mr. Bishop, we need to
talk about the vandalism.
Rodney?
Quite right, Tom.
Well shall not be moved!
All right, you lot.
-Be reasonable!
-Reasonable?
Like forcing my Peg
doll to work with him!
You should be ashamed.
And you can go home and all.
Mr. Bishop, do not
make me arrest you.
Arrest me?
Arrest me for what?
How about malicious damage
to the Great Slaughter
war memorial.
What are you on about,
that's naught to do with me!
It was you?
You did it?
I thought, it's what you wanted.
You said whatever it takes.
My own son defacing
our memorial, lying?
I'll give you whatever it takes!
Please,
this is what hatred does to us.
General Stark, you and your
men have been falsely accused.
Peggy will write up the report,
but if it was up to you,
what would you do
with the culprit?
Thanks for the lift, Sister.
Not sure why this had to be
done before the ceremony.
Well, always good to
crossed one's T's,
and dot one's lower case
J's.
Vitamin C, most efficacious.
There they are!
Lost those yesterday.
Someone's snaffled the
lot, this was nearly full.
What is it, Sister?
I think we'd best make haste.
I just wanted to
say a few words.
I always felt the twinning
was important.
For Gross Kienitz, yes.
But also for myself, personally.
I had no agenda, Iris.
No romantic intentions.
I had found so much
happiness in my life.
I just wanted the chance
to say sorry
to those I have hurt.
That is all.
And you know,
all of us
sat here
have experienced the suffering,
during the years
our two countries were enemies.
I remember when I first
saw your beautiful country
as a prisoner,
I was put to work in
the fields one day,
and I realised that
it was just like home.
Oh, dear.
Many of us who lived
through the war have guilt,
guilt we carry with us always.
And so, it is not for
forgiveness that I ask.
-I must say, I'm impressed.
-Not to forget.
You asked for a glass of water,
most clever to use
vitamin C supplement
to mask the urine test.
I thought about
all the harm done.
Increasing your levels of
ascorbic acid, most ingenious.
For your sake, Sister.
Walk away.
Now.
I'm terribly sorry,
but you see, I can't.
It would fly in the face of
my hastily concocted plan,
which is to distract you.
No, please!
Stay back, Laurence,
what are you doing?
Something I messed up before,
but I won't again.
Royal Warwickshire Regiment,
you're from Coventry.
Yeah, what's left of it!
For Queen and
country I suffered,
and when I came home,
all I found
was rubble!
My mother,
my father,
my sister!
Karl Fischer
murdered
my whole family,
and then they gave
him a medal for it!
Well, he deserves to die.
Maybe he does, but what then?
Will you feel better?
In front of his
wife, your friends?
Standing over him,
seeing him die.
You think the anger goes?
It doesn't, I promise you.
It stays and it gnaws at you,
like a wound that
just won't heal.
Laurence, I know
that this man suffers
every day for what he did.
Let him live with it.
How did you know to
reach him like that?
Towards the end of the war,
my Battalion followed a group
of Germans into a forest,
just outside of Bremen.
I stumbled on a fox
hole, a single soldier.
And in that moment,
it was him or me.
Barely had the time to pull
the trigger, but I did.
When I rolled him over,
he was just a boy, like me.
Dying.
All I could do was
hold him until the end.
Hardly the stuff of legends, eh?
I'm so sorry, Sam.
I had no idea.
Achtung!
I had hoped for atonement,
however the strength of feeling
tells me it is not the time.
For that reason,
I believe there
will be no twinning.
It's time we simply
bid auf wiedersehn.
What are you lot
all so upset for?
You forgotten what he's done?
Yes, for those of
you who don't know,
Herr Fischer killed people.
As did many of us
around this memorial.
Arthur, you sank
U-boats in the Navy.
And Horace, you bombed Dresden.
You wanna know how
many lives I took?
No, and I don't
wanna talk about it.
But I wanna know that all
that suffering and blood
wasn't for nothing.
That it led to peace,
and to friendship.
I want these people
to be our friends.
Yeah.
Well, you made it
back in the end.
Apology accepted,
Herr Fischer.
You know, you're all right.
Peg doll, well.
She could do a lot worse.
Peggy Button,
I wonder if you would do
me the prodigious honour
of becoming my
penfriend?
Oh.
Yeah, all right then.
Where is Sam?
I thought he wouldn't
miss this for the world.
Oh, I believe Karl and Sam
had a little arrangement.
Oh, here we go!
Not a word, Sister.
I'll give you five minutes.
Oh wunderbar, Sam, come on!
I'm a dab hand at the leg lift.
-No.
-Yes.
Let's slap those thighs.
that German of yours, Sister.
Oh, yes.
Brushed, buffed and
varnished, Mayor.
Or should I say
geburstet, poliert-
All right, we get it.
Oh, hold on to your hats.
Gosh!
That's Herr Fischer?
Or Herr Disher I should say.
The interview I was planning
just got a lot more interesting.
On behalf of the Sister's
of St. Vincent's Convent.
Thank you, how very...
Mayor Hartley.
Iris, how wonderful to
finally meet you in person.
Deputy Mayor Diggory, hello.
Which must make you
Inspector Gillespie.
Sam, please.
Great to meet you, Herr Fischer.
Friends call me Karl.
As Mayor of Grosse Kienitz,
thank your for all your work
in the twinning of
our two great towns.
Rodney Bishop.
I'll go.
What, don't look at us!
-I am so sorry.
-A-ha!
Please, no fuss.
You can't make the
beautiful omelette,
without breaking some eggs.
They have it out of
their system now,
so what more can go wrong, huh?
Order!
Order!
Order!
Please!
Order is in short supply
in my Post Office,
just clod hopping boot
prints from corner to corner!
-Exactly.
-Absolutely.
I can't understand a word
these Russians say either!
-Germans, Dotty.
-Mayor Hartley.
These visiting soldiers,
they're upsetting my
regulars at the Spitfire.
I had to bar a
couple last night.
Singing our National
Anthem, drunk!
It's a scandal.
Order!
This meeting was called
to arrange final details.
I'm not quite sure
what you expect.
-Something better.
-Sam,
as head of Twinning Committee.
They're just boys away
from home having some fun.
Let's give them a
bit of leeway, eh?
That's easy for you to
say, it ain't your pub!
I understand how
you feel, Bertie.
It ain't your brother who
died in the war, neither.
That pub was half his!
You didn't complain
when we asked to host
the civic dinner there.
Look, your Anti-Twinning
Committee made its case.
We put it to vote,
and it passed in favour.
By one lousy vote.
With people forced to
tow the party line,
ain't that right, Deputy?
I may, I have had my doubts
about this endeavour,
but we must respect
the democratic process.
This twinning is happening!
And you may not know it yet,
but everyone will get
something out of this.
-Lederhosen.
-Delightful.
The traditional
attire of Bavaria.
Why don't you try them on, Sam?
I'm sure they'd look splendid.
Thank you, Ruth.
I think that's enough
photos for today.
Didn't realise we were
hosting Himmler himself.
Sam, I shall truly
know we are friends
when you are wearing
these in our honour.
And I thought a little gift for
your offices, Mayor Hartley.
How lovely.
And in return,
allow us to present
-wine.
-Oh, yes.
Grown and produced here
in Great Slaughter,
by our very own Sister Boniface.
Absolute, we all want to try.
Sister, may I say your
German is most impressive.
Oh, thank you.
One doesn't like to
blow one's own trompete.
I translated in the war.
Were you active also
in the war, Mayor?
Yes, I volunteered
for the Red Cross.
What about you, Sam?
-Infantry.
-Luftwaffe, myself.
When your boys shot
me down over Leeds,
I saw out the war in Eden Camp.
-Oh, I must say-
-Must we keep talking
about the war, Karl?
It's just talk, darling.
In the morning,
I thought it best we have
a bit of a run through.
A dress rehearsal before
curtain up, and all that.
You too of course,
General Stark.
Most congenial.
Actually, my men and I
wish to remain outside
during the twinning ceremony.
Ah, nonsense!
We want everybody there!
Let's make a toast.
To friendship, God willing.
And how you say?
No more sour grapes.
Mm, lovely.
Halt!
What are you looking at, Fritz?
Eh, you got a problem?
Right Rodney Bishop,
if you don't do one right now-
You'll what?
I'll tell all your
mates that Tom Thomas
had to fish you out of that
cess pit last Christmas,
when you got tipsy
on your dad's cider.
Go.
I must say, I admire a
woman with authority.
General Start of the
15th Panzer Division.
Udo to my friends.
Woman Police Constable Button.
-And to your friends?
-Peggy.
I sincerely hope to earn the
honour of that nomenclature,
during my brief sejour.
Now if you'll excuse me,
I must attend a rehearsal,
and my men must
polish their weapons.
First item we'll have
in the running order
is the unveiling of
our new joint memorial.
Herr Fischer, as German Mayor,
-we hoped you'd do the honours.
-Yeah, of course.
And may I say, your
town hall really is-
I'm sorry, we do have
less than an hour.
Ellis, could you
quickly demonstrate?
If you really can't work it out.
Single draw string, pull and.
The memorial
to the fallen.
Yeah.
Schone.
It is my hope that
with this twinning,
we might put the past behind us.
With this in mind,
Mayor Karl Fischer
now has something
he wishes to unveil for us all.
Flipping heck, what did you do?
Come here, give it to me!
-He's dead.
-Oh, no!
We'll need to
contact his family.
I'm so glad they weren't here,
such a terrible accident.
I don't think so,
the accident part I mean.
Observe.
Four steel pins up there on
the wall for the memorial,
but the four nuts to
hold it there, missing.
This was rigged.
But that means murder.
I'm afraid it's worse.
Logic suggests the
intended victim was Karl.
Gerrymandered for
Gerry, if you like.
Someone would really do this?
Are we in danger?
Please, don't panic.
Who else had access to the
hall after the rehearsal?
The front doors were locked.
We're the only ones who get
in and out, apart from Ellis.
And Bertie Bishop.
He was helping him put up
the plaque this morning,
I believe they're all friends.
Herr Fischer,
do you have any other
connections with someone here?
Any communication from someone
who might bear a grudge?
-No.
-Are you absolutely sure?
All of you?
Well...
"Last chance, stop.
Just stop,
stop.
Send Kraut home, or
someone gets hurts, stop."
I didn't wanna cause a panic,
I just thought it was
some local nut job.
No addressee,
surprise, surprise.
Hang on, this stamp.
This telegram was sent from
here in Great Slaughter.
The senders form, no name.
It was left in my inbox.
I don't critique
telegrams, Inspector.
I simply send them out.
Besides, I don't approve
of this civic union,
and neither would my Cyril,
God bless his dear
departed soul.
Young man,
kindly remove your grubby
hands from my bonbons!
Thank you, Mrs. Clamm.
Sir, can you tell me why Felix
now appears to have a shadow
that bears a resemblance to
somebody in a nun's habit?
Look, keep your conjecture
out of circulation
until we know more.
Oh, so it was foul play?
Sorry Sam, but you know
the interest in the thing.
The public appetite.
Which is why I'm asking.
Mr. Non Committal,
the lone wolf.
And yet here you are,
the life and soul
of this twinning.
Why is it so important to you?
Ruth, I'm asking as a friend.
It appears our gerrymanderer
had the foresight
to wear gloves.
A formidable foe.
-Would you mind?
-Of course, Sister.
Oh!
-Oh.
-Do you have something?
If by something you mean
some kind of smudge,
it's mostly evaporated.
No, I'm going to
need more than that.
There must be something, Felix.
-Thank you.
-You're welcome.
Sister.
Wait, look.
A water droplet.
Oh bravo, Felix.
Yes, droplets.
Clear liquid,
presumably the very same
as was smudged up
there on the wall.
Oil, for loosening the nuts.
Let's see if Percy the pipette
can't help us find an answer.
Hold the line,
we may just have another caller.
One hit man's hanky.
Oh my, it looks quite damp.
This is all anti-twinning
correspondence?
-I had no idea.
-Yeah, well.
Didn't wanna burden
the Twinning Committee.
-What's this?
-Oh, that's unrelated.
It's the invoice of
fitting the memorial.
Wait, a mixture of printed
and cursive letters.
The loop on the bottom of the S.
I don't believe it,
this is our match.
-But it can't be, that's-
-Ellis Everett.
Your threatening telegram
came from the murder victim.
This is ridiculous,
are you telling me that even
he was against the twinning?
I'm afraid so.
What do you want, Bertie?
Just to deliver this.
It's a formal signed petition
to delay the twinning
indefinitely,
in respect of Ellis's wishes.
Only the messenger.
Bureaucratic bull.
He can't swan in here
and demand we postpone.
Unfortunately, he can.
With this number of signatories,
I'm duty bound to
put it to the council
for a vote in the morning.
Please tell me you
have something?
Gird those loins,
I believe I may.
Sweat and, or saliva,
presumably produced
by the killer
in the effort of rigging
the bronze plate to fall.
I believe it's
why we found this.
In here is a handkerchief.
Now everything I've seen so far,
suggests our sweaty slayer
used it to wipe
their face and neck.
Sadly, it's standard cotton.
It's near impossible to trace.
So, it's useless?
Oh, ye of little faith.
Smell.
Come on, give it a
jolly good snuffle.
What is that?
Smells kind of sweet, fruity.
I presume it became infused
with the cologne,
perfume or cream.
Ergo, if I can identify
precisely what,
then Bob's your uncle
and Fanny's your aunt.
These are the people
who had access.
Bertie Bishop
opposes the twinning,
and Laurence Diggory only
voted for it under pressure.
They both have a motive.
General Stark-
Not exactly chummy with Karl.
And Elsa, you can cut the
tension in that marriage
with a chainsaw.
So they've all got motive,
except for Iris Hartley.
I think we need to find out
more about Karl Fischer.
I'll run a background check.
And I'm gonna talk to an
old friend from the forces,
see if the Eden Camp
had any records.
Until then, Sister, pray.
If this vote doesn't go through,
all of this will have
been for nothing.
Roger that.
What is going on?
They are laughing in
our faces, that's what.
Look!
-Rache.
-Rache.
It means revenge.
Which one of you
Sauerkraut's did it, eh?
Lock 'em up, Peg
doll, lock 'em all up.
You're not helping.
Right, everyone needs
to go home, okay?
Let us deal with this, go on.
I assure you Inspector,
this is not the
undertaking of my soldiers.
Perhaps it would help
if I was seen to be
assisting in some way.
Excellent idea.
Button, as of tomorrow,
General Stark will
be assisting you.
But Sir, dad will kill me.
That's settled then.
Well, the morning then.
Wunderbar.
Most of this I got from a source
I cultivated in Karl's offices,
had a thing for feurige
englische frauen.
-Hm?
-Fiery English women.
-Anyway.
-Anyway, it's all here.
Marriage, finances.
The elephant in the room,
Karl was penniless
before he married Elsa.
Heiress to an
enamelware dynasty,
old family money.
He even took her
name in marriage.
Oh dear, Peggy, are you poorly?
I wish.
Mum says I have to take one if
I forget my glass of orange.
I suppose I'll be off then.
For Queen and country, Button.
What's this?
Eden Camp,
I got it from the North
Yorkshire County Records Office.
-Is that Karl?
-Ever the ladies man.
Lucky girl.
Shall we tell Elsa?
Now, why would I want to ruin
a 10 year marriage
of convenience?
His status, the Mayorship,
it's all because of her.
Uh, uh, uh, not so fast.
What's it worth?
I'm thinking an interview.
Sam Gillespie, why this
twinning is so important.
His experience of war laid bare.
Good try, but this
is now evidence.
And the last thing that
Great Slaughter needs
is reminded of the war.
Right.
Sister, you're up early.
Cosmetic shopping,
but that's not why I'm here.
Well, I've got to get to
the vote at the council.
Yes, and the Lord
detests a gossip,
but Sister Redge said
that Nurse Mayfield
heard from Mike the
Mechanic at the Spitfire,
that Laurence Diggory plans
to vote against the twinning.
But he voted for last time.
Under duress, and
if memory serves,
the twinning only squeezed
through by a single vote.
The trade arrangements
affect real livelihoods.
You know, one German company
begged us to block
the whole thing,
said it would ruin them.
It's about more than
just business, though.
Look, you were in the
army, weren't you?
Royal Warwickshire
Regiment, yes.
Well, so was I.
And don't you wanna
put all that behind us?
Make amends for all the
things we saw and did?
But Inspector,
the person who did this
is still out there.
My first time,
so
here goes.
Council, there are nine votes.
For a motion to pass,
we required a majority
of at least six.
Five, Dotty.
Of course, five.
Silly me.
Now as Chairwoman, I shall
remain entirely impartial,
so those who wish this
awful twinning to proceed,
please raise a hand.
One.
Two.
Three.
Four.
A no from Tom.
Only four in favour,
is that everyone?
Last chance.
Going...
Going...
Five!
Well then, I hereby confirm.
The twinning will
go ahead tomorrow.
You're lucky I'm in a good mood,
spending half my annual
budget on creams and colognes.
Money well spent, I assure you.
Although in this case,
none of them matches the
chemical makeup of the sweat.
What?
They'll make excellent additions
to the Sister's charity tombola.
So, all this for nothing?
Au contraire, all this was
a process of elimination.
The spectroscopy tests
finally allowed me
to pin down our peculiar pong.
Acetone.
I'm waiting for the punchline.
When people with a glucose
deficiency run out of sugar,
their body starts burning fat.
That in turn produces ketones.
Now crucially, ketones are said
to have a distinctive smell,
just like pear drops.
-That's what I could smell.
-Precisely.
The smell on the hanky,
that's the saliva
and sweat itself.
I believe our
killer has diabetes.
Gold star, Sister!
But how do we determine
which suspect has diabetes?
A urine sample?
Erm,
yes.
It is a joke!
Your famous British
sense of humour, huh?
I'm afraid not.
She's saying they
should have left.
We hide in fear in our hotel,
only to be called
for this.
I cannot, I only just
went.
Yes, I'm sorry.
I'm not quite sure
I can go on demand.
Perhaps we might bring
a sample at our leisure?
Sorry, it has to be done
here to ensure no tampering.
I'm happy to, if it's useful.
I was also there, of course.
May I have a glass
of water to help?
Whatever gets the
mill wheel turning.
Take your time.
I'm afraid I'm gonna
have to leave you
in Sister Boniface's
capable hands.
There's a blow for
diplomatic relations.
They looked at me
like I was taking the,
well come to think of it,
that's exactly what I was doing.
What have you got?
While they go about
their business,
here is another.
The German company that
Laurence mentioned,
you remember the one he said
tried to block the twinning?
Yes, go on.
Well, he was right.
Kuckuck.
-I beg your pardon?
-That's its name, Kuckuck.
It's German for
cuckoo, I believe.
An old family business,
they supply precision
parts for cuckoo clocks.
Of course they do.
The problem is,
this new trade deal means
a local company here
is able to undercut them.
So the twinning will ruin
this Kuckuck company.
Exactly, a family destitute.
And guess who's family?
I think it's
a paintbrush bristle.
Yes, conceivably from
a round haired brush.
A brush with bristles
tapered for detail work.
How'd you know all that?
Oh, I admit, I
recurrently dabble.
In my own time,
landscapes and such.
You see, Bavaria is a
very beautiful place.
I've never been abroad.
Tried a curry once.
I think you would like
my hometown very much.
What's it like then?
Like a fairytale,
with forests and mountains.
I still recognise
it's sublimity.
My family think me
excessively fanciful,
but they make the
parts for clocks.
Cold, sharp.
I am no machinist.
Well, my family
are all butchers.
I'm no butcher.
So we are both the little
black sheep, quite the team.
Sergeant, greetings.
Do you require
something from me?
Actually, yes.
Actually, no.
I understand it's unorthodox.
It is an inestimable insult.
I am willing to admit that I
was opposed to the twinning.
If you must know,
I begged Herr Fischer
on behalf of my family.
This was not an inconsiderable
exercise for a man like me,
perhaps you can imagine.
But Herr Fischer
would not be turned.
He was adamant Grosse Kienitz
will be twinned with this town,
and nowhere else.
And why is that, General Stark?
A very good question.
Regardless, I am a soldier
and I follow orders,
even if they run
contrary to my feelings.
I had assumed, Detective
Inspector Gillespie,
that you, as a former military
man, would understand this.
I do, it's why I have no
choice but to ask this of you.
He seemed nice.
Do you think General
Stark's a wrongun?
Well, he was right
about this bristle.
Horse hair, fine.
Probably used for detail work.
You know, I do believe
there's dried paint on here,
as well as the red.
Oil based.
I can see
blue
and possibly green.
Can you like, scrape it off?
Well, I reckon I
could identify it.
Then I reckon this vandal
messed with the wrong WPC.
You're sure?
Yeah, all right.
Good chat, we'll speak then.
A development?
My friend is sending over
some army documentation
on the Eden Camp,
but something came up, a name.
-One of those photos.
-Who's name?
The Mayor.
Your background check confirmed
that she'd volunteered
in the war, yes?
For Red Cross, but we
didn't know which camp.
-Not Eden Camp?
-The very same.
The one that Karl recovered
in after being shot down,
the one he spent the
rest of the war at.
It is, that's Iris
bloody Hartley.
As it happens,
we were in love.
Yes.
Very much.
He was just a boy.
I nursed him,
and
well.
I begged him to stay,
but he knew his family
would be worried about him,
so.
He promised to come back,
only-
He never did.
He hurt you.
In ways he never knew.
I was pilloried
for my
entanglement.
Sleeping with enemy
is what they said.
It's the reason
I came down here.
He destroyed my life,
and just marched back into it.
And you had no idea at all?
How could I, he
changed his name.
And now suddenly he's
here giving gifts,
and acting like I'll
fall back into his arms.
Is there any way Elsa
might know about this?
It's precisely what worries me.
And for our final tinkle
test, Frau Elsa Fischer.
Verdammt.
Excuse my German, but
according to these tests,
none of our suspects
has diabetes.
Perhaps you got this
one wrong, Sister.
Fiddlesticks and fudge,
it makes no sense.
There must be someone else.
We have our list of suspects,
unless you think somehow
I perpetrated the crime.
I'll stop you there, I was
mainly being facetious.
Force of habit.
But one thing is clear,
we're missing something.
Unless it's being
concealed from us.
It says here that Karl
Fischer was shot down,
and he was arresting wearing
the Knight's Cross of the
Iron Cross with Oak Leaves.
He's a war hero.
He certainly kept that quiet.
I think it's time for a drink.
You think I came here,
that I brought my wife,
to try and win
Iris Hartley back?
I had a heart attack last year,
it was nearly the end,
and it made me think about
the pain I caused her.
It has haunted me.
But she never replied
to a single letter.
Why didn't you tell us?
Because I didn't want
Elsa to find out,
and I still don't, hmm?
Elsa always feared I
married her for money.
She knew there was
a British girl,
but I promised her she was
nowhere near Great Slaughter.
Well now you know
everything, hmm?
Not quite.
The Knight's Cross of the
Iron Cross with Oak Leaves.
That?
I was awarded the Knight's
Cross for my services
on the night of the
14th November, 1940.
You flew the
Coventry Blitz?
Churches,
hospitals,
hundreds of people.
There was never
any honour in that.
So,
I am ashamed.
Good evening, gentlemen.
Oh, and Sam.
Room for eine kleine one?
Miss Penny, please sit.
I was just finishing.
Sam, I am sure you
have your reasons
for wanting this
twinning to go ahead.
For me, that is what it means.
Atonement.
I bid you goodnight, my friends.
Tomorrow, we shall be twins.
Good night.
Why is this so important to you?
It is the war, isn't it?
You know, Karl isn't the
only one I researched.
Second Lieutenant Gillespie.
Sandhurst Training, 1940.
1st Battalion, Suffolk
Regiment on Sword Beach.
Witnessed heavy losses,
hand to hand combat.
A bayonet injury to
your left shoulder.
I'm not one of
your stories, Ruth.
Good night.
Good night.
Let's go home.
Whoever tried to kill you.
My love, I have to
see this through.
But why?
Why, Karl?
It's her, isn't it?
The girl you talked
about from the war.
It's Iris, that
is why we're here.
It's not what you think.
What is going on?
Where is Button?
I barely saw her this morning,
all I could glean was that
she and Sister Boniface
had some kind of paint
related breakthrough.
St. George Royal
Red, British Blue,
and Spitfire Emerald Green.
Oil based gloss paints,
all ordered to 22 Langford Road,
which is the Spitfire
public house.
Yeah, Bertie Bishops place.
Oh look, Sister.
Fresh job.
Red, green and blue.
If you'll indulge me,
I'd say he's painted himself
into a corner somewhat.
Mr. Bishop, we need to
talk about the vandalism.
Rodney?
Quite right, Tom.
Well shall not be moved!
All right, you lot.
-Be reasonable!
-Reasonable?
Like forcing my Peg
doll to work with him!
You should be ashamed.
And you can go home and all.
Mr. Bishop, do not
make me arrest you.
Arrest me?
Arrest me for what?
How about malicious damage
to the Great Slaughter
war memorial.
What are you on about,
that's naught to do with me!
It was you?
You did it?
I thought, it's what you wanted.
You said whatever it takes.
My own son defacing
our memorial, lying?
I'll give you whatever it takes!
Please,
this is what hatred does to us.
General Stark, you and your
men have been falsely accused.
Peggy will write up the report,
but if it was up to you,
what would you do
with the culprit?
Thanks for the lift, Sister.
Not sure why this had to be
done before the ceremony.
Well, always good to
crossed one's T's,
and dot one's lower case
J's.
Vitamin C, most efficacious.
There they are!
Lost those yesterday.
Someone's snaffled the
lot, this was nearly full.
What is it, Sister?
I think we'd best make haste.
I just wanted to
say a few words.
I always felt the twinning
was important.
For Gross Kienitz, yes.
But also for myself, personally.
I had no agenda, Iris.
No romantic intentions.
I had found so much
happiness in my life.
I just wanted the chance
to say sorry
to those I have hurt.
That is all.
And you know,
all of us
sat here
have experienced the suffering,
during the years
our two countries were enemies.
I remember when I first
saw your beautiful country
as a prisoner,
I was put to work in
the fields one day,
and I realised that
it was just like home.
Oh, dear.
Many of us who lived
through the war have guilt,
guilt we carry with us always.
And so, it is not for
forgiveness that I ask.
-I must say, I'm impressed.
-Not to forget.
You asked for a glass of water,
most clever to use
vitamin C supplement
to mask the urine test.
I thought about
all the harm done.
Increasing your levels of
ascorbic acid, most ingenious.
For your sake, Sister.
Walk away.
Now.
I'm terribly sorry,
but you see, I can't.
It would fly in the face of
my hastily concocted plan,
which is to distract you.
No, please!
Stay back, Laurence,
what are you doing?
Something I messed up before,
but I won't again.
Royal Warwickshire Regiment,
you're from Coventry.
Yeah, what's left of it!
For Queen and
country I suffered,
and when I came home,
all I found
was rubble!
My mother,
my father,
my sister!
Karl Fischer
murdered
my whole family,
and then they gave
him a medal for it!
Well, he deserves to die.
Maybe he does, but what then?
Will you feel better?
In front of his
wife, your friends?
Standing over him,
seeing him die.
You think the anger goes?
It doesn't, I promise you.
It stays and it gnaws at you,
like a wound that
just won't heal.
Laurence, I know
that this man suffers
every day for what he did.
Let him live with it.
How did you know to
reach him like that?
Towards the end of the war,
my Battalion followed a group
of Germans into a forest,
just outside of Bremen.
I stumbled on a fox
hole, a single soldier.
And in that moment,
it was him or me.
Barely had the time to pull
the trigger, but I did.
When I rolled him over,
he was just a boy, like me.
Dying.
All I could do was
hold him until the end.
Hardly the stuff of legends, eh?
I'm so sorry, Sam.
I had no idea.
Achtung!
I had hoped for atonement,
however the strength of feeling
tells me it is not the time.
For that reason,
I believe there
will be no twinning.
It's time we simply
bid auf wiedersehn.
What are you lot
all so upset for?
You forgotten what he's done?
Yes, for those of
you who don't know,
Herr Fischer killed people.
As did many of us
around this memorial.
Arthur, you sank
U-boats in the Navy.
And Horace, you bombed Dresden.
You wanna know how
many lives I took?
No, and I don't
wanna talk about it.
But I wanna know that all
that suffering and blood
wasn't for nothing.
That it led to peace,
and to friendship.
I want these people
to be our friends.
Yeah.
Well, you made it
back in the end.
Apology accepted,
Herr Fischer.
You know, you're all right.
Peg doll, well.
She could do a lot worse.
Peggy Button,
I wonder if you would do
me the prodigious honour
of becoming my
penfriend?
Oh.
Yeah, all right then.
Where is Sam?
I thought he wouldn't
miss this for the world.
Oh, I believe Karl and Sam
had a little arrangement.
Oh, here we go!
Not a word, Sister.
I'll give you five minutes.
Oh wunderbar, Sam, come on!
I'm a dab hand at the leg lift.
-No.
-Yes.
Let's slap those thighs.