Simon & Simon (1981–1989): Season 4, Episode 19 - The Mickey Mouse Mob - full transcript
How much are they
blackmailing you for?
My business with
you is strictly private.
I want you to find my
ex-wife and daughter.
Remember those, uh,
strangers from out of town?
Well, they're here now.
Can we do this without mayhem?
I wouldn't have
it any other way.
[grunting]
Is it too late for me
to be your father?
There's a lot more
to being a father
than planting the seed!
Relax, you guys.
We don't go around
just indiscriminately
executing people.
I mean, we do it
from time to time.
What is that?
[gunshot]
♪♪ [theme]
I bought you a new blue
three-piece for tonight.
Shirt, shorts. It's
all waiting for you
in room 210 at the hotel.
You be there by 7:00.
George, you think we're
ever going to live through this?
Oh, that's not the point.
Getting you elected president
of this union is the point.
I'm a practical man.
Life after, it's a
philosophical question.
It's none of my business.
Look, I'm going
over to the hotel.
I got to check
the banquet setup.
If you don't stop them,
the waiters put
out the apple pie
when they're setting the table.
Get some rest.
It's in the schedule...
4:10 to 5:20.
See you down there.
All right. Bye-bye.
[motor stalls]
Oh, perfect.
Dan!
Can you give me a lift?
The rental car won't start.
It's a... It's a dead
battery or something.
I don't need this.
Uh, here. Take
mine. I'll take a cab.
- Are you sure?
- Yeah, go on.
You got work to do. Oh, listen.
I want to hold a
press conference...
Contingency plans
anyway. Say, Friday.
Should be no problem. We'll
squeeze it in somewhere.
- Standard release?
- No, no, no. Not standard.
I'll fill you in on it later.
You have the energy
for an original thought?
- [laughing]
- I'm not working you
hard enough.
Get out of here.
[Rick] Okay, we'll call
you in a couple of weeks
and set up another time.
Thank you.
What are you doing
with my calendar?
Just rearranging a few things,
like the Crowman case.
We can set up their
trial reconciliation
in a week.
No, we can't.
It's a court order.
Oh, yeah.
Okay. So on our
way, we'll stop by
and search the
house for weapons.
Oh, no. Wait a... Hey.
Would you mind telling
me what is so important
that you feel compelled
to clear my calendar
from the 5th to the 9th?
When Lady Luck blows you a kiss,
go with it.
"Congratulations, Simo family."
It's close enough.
Look, the Grand
Sweepstakes prize computer
picked our names
for four fun-filled,
all-expense-paid days and nights
at Caesar's in Las Vegas.
- Rick, this is junk mail.
- Yeah, I know.
They mail out
millions of these things.
You have to sit in a hotel room
until you buy a condo.
It's Vegas. It's free.
And once we get there,
we'll figure out a way
to dodge the slides.
I think you should
have looked at the map.
I know where Vegas is.
Mm-hmm. This isn't
Caesar's Palace.
What?
This is Caesar
Rosenberg's Arroyo Estates.
"Only half a tank away
from the bustling downtown
metropolis of Las Vegas."
- Let me see that.
- It's damn near in Utah, Rick.
I already confirmed
our reservations.
Mr. Simon?
Uh, yes. I'm A.J. Simon.
This is my nemesis Rick.
Daniel C. Thacker,
International Vice President.
Ooh, LDUW. Big union.
Well, third or fourth largest.
Depends on who's counting.
Weren't you involved in
that car bombing yesterday?
The one with the
lawyer who got killed?
George Flacks
was killed in my car.
Please, won't you sit down?
Thank you.
Weren't you there?
The papers said you were there.
I was supposed
to die, not George.
That's police business.
That's not why I'm here.
My business with
you is strictly private.
It's about blackmail.
See, my name wasn't
always Dan Thacker, and I...
Well, that's why
they're blackmailing me.
Okay. Who'd Dan
Thacker used to be?
20 years ago, my
name was Eddie Blair.
I had a wife. I had a
year-old baby daughter
and a second John's Commission
in our Marine Reserve unit.
Anyway, my unit was among
the first to be activated to Vietnam,
but I didn't make the muster.
I lit out for Canada, and
I left my family behind.
It's not a very
pretty story, is it?
We've heard worse.
Lot of guys made that decision.
But why did Eddie Blair
not take his family with him?
Well, he was going
to, but a year went by.
He changed his
name to Dan Thacker,
got a job, joined the union.
All of a sudden,
20 years went by,
and he found himself the
International Vice President.
So how much are they
blackmailing you for?
- $100,000.
- Whew...
It's pretty steep for
what they got on you.
Look, gentlemen,
I'm in the middle of a
tough union election.
George Flacks was
my campaign manager.
I suppose the blackmailers
think the rank and file
don't want a draft
dodger as their president.
What do you think?
I don't care.
I won't pay blackmail,
even if I could.
What I'm going to do is
hold a press conference.
In a few days, I'm
going to lay it out.
I might shine it up a bit.
Where do we come in?
I want you to find my
ex-wife and daughter.
I want you to tell them where
I am now, who I am, and why.
You know, see if there's
anything they need.
More importantly, I want
to see if my daughter
will let me try to
explain to her who I am.
Got any leads?
Friends? Relatives?
Her maiden name
was Sandra Jefferson.
A friend of hers gave me
the last number he had on her,
but it's 10 years old.
Local?
Well, it's no problem.
What are the chances
that the blackmail attempt
and the car bombing
are tied together?
I can't make the connection.
You don't blackmail somebody
and then kill them
before they pay off.
There's got to be
another reason.
How long is your
list of enemies?
Too long by one.
So?
So we're here to
see Sandra Jefferson.
Not a chance.
Oh, good. Wasn't sure
we had the right address.
Would you please tell her
that it is a private
family matter?
Her idea of private
don't include you.
How do you know till you ask?
Oh, we know, all right.
It's what we do,
what we're good at.
We look at you, and we see
someone she don't want to see.
And who the hell are you?
Who are we?
I'm Mr. Bad.
My little friend
here is Mr. Worse.
And if you two don't bug off,
we're going to fold you
up along the dotted lines
and stick you back in that
little kiddie car you came in.
- Kiddie car?
- [car honks]
Harry, what's the problem?
These guys are just
leaving, Ms. Mavis.
We're here to discuss something
with Sandra
Jefferson. You related?
Yeah. I'm her daughter.
What's this about?
- It's about your father.
- He's dead.
My mother and Sid Gretchen, our
almost ever-present family counselor.
Rick and A.J. Simon.
Private investigators.
This is Rick and this is A.J.
Do be nice and
make me a drink, Sid.
They're here about
dear old Daddy.
Or should I say my
real dear old Daddy?
Drinks, gentlemen?
As long as Sidney's up.
- Oh, no.
- None for me. Thank you.
Then may I ask how you found me?
We had an old telephone number.
Just a question
of hunt and peck.
I changed the
phones after his death,
when I went back to using
my maiden name, Jefferson.
Sandra, don't feel
obligated to explain.
I'd like to know who
these men represent.
We were retained
by your first husband,
who now calls
himself Dan Thacker.
Daniel C. Thacker.
Mother, did you
know... Later, Mavis.
After he went to
Canada, he got a job...
After he deserted me, you mean.
Right.
He joined a union,
rose through its ranks,
and now he is running
for the international
presidency of that union.
Someone is blackmailing him.
They want $100,000 from him.
Not trivial that he deserted
you and your daughter.
Now, that's the man who almost
got killed in his car yesterday.
What is all this?
It's the rotten truth, Mavis.
I'm sorry it's being dropped
on you like a hammer.
Is he going to pay?
No, he's going to hold
a press conference
and lay it all out.
That's why he
wanted us to find you,
to let you know
what his plans were
and to see if there was
anything that you needed...
But I don't suppose there is.
That dirty...
Did he also tell you what
really happened 20 years ago?
How he left me and
my 1-year-old daughter
with $39.43?
We damn near starved.
You go tell Mr. Dan Thacker
that the Delaporte interests
are now my sole responsibility,
and there will be
no embarrassment.
No humiliation.
Delaporte?
That's right. Johnny Delaporte.
The Johnny Delaporte.
My late husband.
Sandra, don't go into that.
I don't have to.
They get the message.
Yes, ma'am.
You tell Mr. Thacker
I'll meet with him here,
and I'll convince him.
And if he won't,
then I'll pay his
damn blackmail.
And that's the
way it's going to be.
- Bye.
- Thank you.
- Johnny Delaporte.
- Yeah.
- Johnny the Bounce.
- I know.
One minute, we're working
on a simple case of desertion.
The next minute, we're tangled
up with the Mickey Mouse Mob,
and that woman in
there is running it.
Well, that's what
they're called.
They don't like
to be called that.
At least it's beginning
to make sense.
You know who favors car
bombings for the kiss-off, don't you?
Not the Mickey Mouse Mob.
They've never been into murder.
- What do you think
they're in, olive oil?
- Wait!
Please, tell my father
I want to see him.
Tell him... Tell him
he owes me that much.
Well, look... Like
we told your mom,
we'll try and get him
here this afternoon.
No, I want to see him alone.
It's going to have
to be afterward.
Fine, but tonight.
I'll come to him.
7:30?
We'll tell him.
If that's what he
wants, we'll set it up.
Thank you.
Bye-bye.
How long do you give him?
Oh, five seconds.
- Make it four.
- Okay.
[Both] One thousand-1,
one thousand-2,
one thousand-3, one thousand-4.
Hi. Buy you guys
a cup of coffee?
Sure. Can we ride in the
back, like somebody important?
If you were
important, you could.
And just who the hell
are those two guys?
I don't care what
Dan Thacker does,
but right now, it's too
tricky to have those two guys
sticking their
fingers in the spokes.
If they do, cut them off.
Boy, she is a beauty, Town.
They have things back here
they've never even heard of
in most Third World countries.
What's this for?
- Makes ice cream.
- Makes ice cream.
Now, what in the hell do
you two guys have in common
with the widow Delaporte?
Her ex-husband...
Her first ex-husband.
- Hmm.
- What's your interest?
Oh, rumors and
whispers from back east.
- The mob biggies back there...
- [music plays]
are not too happy with...
Would you turn that off, please?
- Huh.
- [music stops]
They aren't happy with
the West Coast operations
since Johnny Delaporte died.
They're afraid
of a takeover bid.
Somebody's trying
to unseat Sandra,
and so are we. That's
why I'm watching her place.
- It gets better and better.
- [window lowers]
First the Mickey Mouse
Mob, now the real mob.
Is there any chance that, uh,
that union car bombing
and the rest of it
are tied together?
- Why make that connection?
- Eh.
So far as we know, Delaporte
wasn't tied to that union or any other.
Who's her ex-husband?
Daniel C. Thacker, International
Vice President of the same union...
Will you put that down
and leave the buttons alone?
Sorry.
So what does he want, some
private help with the investigation?
No, it's something else.
If it turns out that it fits
in, we'll give you all of it.
You got any leads?
Well, Dan Thacker is the
odds-on favorite to win the election,
although we're
working on a theory
that someone in the
union doesn't want him to.
Give you something
else to go on.
Sandra's lawyer is a very
sharp item named Gretchen,
Sidney Gretchen,
very edgy, very protective.
There might be
meat on those bones.
Anything else you
hear, I'd like to have it.
We could be looking
at big trouble here,
a mob war, power grab.
If you hear of any
mysterious strangers
dropping by the
widow Delaporte's,
especially one named
Agonistes, let me know.
- Mm-hmm.
- Just might save a life.
Would you put that dow...
Done all right.
You like that, I'll bet.
Takes you off the hook.
Yeah, I've done all right,
enough to pay
off your blackmail.
Nobody pays any blackmail.
And you are damn sure
not going to show up here
like some bad penny
after all these years
and humiliate my
daughter and me.
I won't have it, Eddie.
Name's Thacker now, Dan Thacker.
I know what it is.
I've known for years.
I'm sure we can all discuss this
and reach some
amicable understanding.
What do you mean by...
known all these years?
You don't think Johnny
Delaporte would've married me
if he hadn't known
every last detail
about my first husband,
including who he was
and who he had become?
Rick and A.J. Simon aren't
the first private detectives
I've talked to over the years.
I'd forgotten about you, Sandra.
I mean, over the years,
I lost a little perspective.
I blamed myself too much.
You wouldn't be
trying to blackmail me
in some strange way, would you?
Don't be ridiculous.
You know, A.J., there's nothing
in our files that's going to help.
We don't do business with the...
Johnsons about once a year.
Well, I'd be happier
if you never had to deal
with organized crime at all.
Well, this isn't helping.
Are you sure it
isn't a blood stain?
- No, that's taco sauce.
- [A.J.] No, Mom, that's wine.
[knock on door]
Aw, geez,
Snake Eyes, walk
in here backwards
so we can at least
think you're leaving.
Hey, man, what's
happening, dudes?
Long time, no see.
Ooh, who's the little lady?
- [A.J.] That's our mom.
- That's our mother.
Oh, wow, man, that
gets a fix on my heart.
Why on earth are you
wearing all those rings?
Careful, Mom.
You don't want to
get too close to him,
or he'll be wearing
your rings, too.
Go easy, bud.
I'm a mobile
jewelry store, mama.
I deal in rad metal. You
see anything you like?
Oh, that's a pretty one.
Mom, don't get so close.
Check it out, mama.
[Rick] Is there any
particular reason
that you've slithered
in here today?
Advice for a
Price, Incorporated.
Remember me?
[A.J.] Yeah.
Ah.
Word has reached
my corporate offices
that you are seeking info
about one Mr. Agonistes.
Yeah.
[A.J. sighs]
[Snake Eyes chuckles]
Tsk tsk tsk tsk. Dig deep.
Think of me as
your favorite charity.
[Rick clears throat]
Ah.
Thor Agonistes,
one of Detroit's favorite sons,
began his career as a tailor,
a tailor in the sense that he could
make a cement vest fit anybody.
- You with me so far, man?
- Yes.
It wasn't long before the boys
felt so good about Mr. Agonistes
that they made him
their ace troubleshooter.
When Mr. Agonistes
comes to town,
there's trouble.
When he leaves, there isn't any.
- What's this?
- [Indian accent] Law books.
- What?
- Law books.
I don't know anything
about any law books.
Manjee knows about books.
Manjee most need deliver books.
I have no time to explain it.
- Wait, you can't
just go in there.
- Thank you very much indeed.
No, no, you don't understand.
You cannot be in here.
Well, if you desire these books on
your desk, then it's fine with Manjee.
- Manjee has work to do.
- No, no, no, not on my desk.
Hey, hey, hey, Manjee,
what are you doing?
- Oh, not more.
- What's the hold up here?
- [Rick] Hold up.
- No, Manjee.
- Oh, no.
- Well, I am terribly sorry,
but this lady for some reason
desires these books on her desk...
[A.J.] What is going
on in here, lady?
I've got a job to do.
You've got a job to do.
Everybody does there job, I can
be at the Bowlerama by 7:00 tonight.
It's the league
playoffs, the finals.
[Rick] Yeah, very big,
very much work to do.
Manjee quit now, take nap.
- No, you're not napping here.
- No.
No, no, Manjee, not here.
No. Oh... [sighs]
Manjee. Please, wake up, Manjee.
Oh. Will you get me
some help, please?
Oh, no, no. Look, it all...
Look, lady, give me
some help. Come on.
He did this at the doctor's
office at Chula Vista.
- Give me some help, all right?
- Okay.
There's something
wrong with him. Please?
Yeah, I'll get some
boys from the mail...
Yeah, call a nurse... No,
get a doctor or something.
Why, I've got to
hand it to Carlos.
Who else could get us a
hundred law books on short notice?
Look at this.
The Dickman Packing Plant case.
That was mob money, wasn't it?
Yep.
Here we go.
Got the Delaporte file.
Ooh. Piles.
Just going to grab a fistful.
Look at this...
The Dusenbury
School supply rip-off.
This Gretchen's in every
nasty business in town.
He's the mob's very
own Perry Mason.
- Yep.
- [door rattles]
[Woman] Why is this door locked?
Open this up.
[A.J. grunts]
[grunts] Sorry,
must've gotten stuck.
I just called Mr. Grace's
office in Purchasing,
and he hasn't ordered any books.
No books? No books.
That is very fine.
Much more work for Manjee.
Now I go take a
nap in the truck.
I have had it with this.
Gretchen?
These books are
supposed to be for Gonzales,
Hector Gonzales,
Mexican divorce law...
Hey, hey, hey, hey, Manjee.
No, don't quit now.
What's this guy going to
do with Spanish law books?
[both arguing,
fading into distance]
Do you realize our friendship
is based on a whole lot of trust?
I trust if I knew where you got
this stuff, we wouldn't be friends.
Fat lot of good
it's going to do us.
Gretchen's no Boy Scout,
but there's nothing in there
that's going to get him disbarred.
That's about right,
and yet he is the lawyer of
choice for the local syndicate.
They've had him on a
retainer for the past 11 years.
Hard not to get
painted with that brush.
It's not impossible.
He kept Johnny
Delaporte out of jail
through perfectly legal means.
He'll probably do the
same thing for Sandra.
Hm.
I pronounce this food dead.
I've got to get back.
I'll walk with you.
While we're going,
maybe you can answer
some questions for me,
like, if Gretchen is so clean
and Sandra is so in control,
why are you working
double shifts?
Why are you eating plastic food?
Why are bombs going off,
and why are we
all expecting a visit
from one of the East
Coast's major dudes?
I do not know.
Back on the right track here.
Sandra and Thacker
just had a good cat fight
and reaffirmed their
everlasting dislike for each other.
It would be better
if he was dead.
No doubt,
but we can still pull it
off sooner than later.
You're damn straight.
They're already hearing
the war drums back east.
You can count on it.
It'll all be over in 24 hours.
I sent Thacker a message
that the blackmailer
wants a meeting tonight.
Thacker's not our problem.
Those Simon brothers are.
They barged right in
here and pilfered my files.
They didn't get anything,
but it's their resourcefulness
that worries me.
They keep trying, they're
going to get something.
One thing.
They can prove that
Thacker didn't know
who Sandra was before.
They can only prove
he said he didn't know,
and Sandra has already
admitted to knowing him.
It'll work. It's all in here.
Sandra didn't want the public
scrutiny he was going to bring her.
It's a good case,
good enough so that
our friends back east
will cut her loose like that.
They might want to turn
a lot of us loose like that.
I'm starting to think it's
going to cost you more.
Fair enough.
You both get 5% of the rake
as soon as we own
the Mickey Mouse Mob.
Fair enough?
You packed?
Always, but why?
Because you're going to
have to lay low for a while
until the smoke clears.
You're going to
kill Dan Thacker.
So if the East Coast mob has sent
their main troubleshooter out here...
The cops are watching
your ex, expecting trouble...
And there's likely
going to be some
or some more.
Yeah, but trying to
hit me with a car bomb,
it just doesn't make sense.
I didn't know Sandra was married
to Johnny Delaporte until today.
[Rick] It makes sense.
We just don't know how.
When we figure it out,
my bet is it's going to tie
back in to the blackmail.
Oh, yeah, the
blackmailer called.
He wants to meet
tonight at 8:00.
Here's the place.
I'd like you two to
meet him for me.
It would be cleaner that way,
and I don't care
what Sandra says.
I don't pay blackmail.
You tell him that, and if he doesn't
believe it, convince him, okay?
Okay.
We're not going to get
rough for you, though,
not unless he starts something.
No. When do I get
to see my daughter?
7:30 tonight, your hotel room.
[knock on door]
Hello.
Um, hello.
I'm Mavis. I go by the
last name of Delaporte.
I don't know quite what to say.
How about, come in?
Oh, sorry. Sure, please.
Um...
Why did you want
to see me alone?
I know my mother.
She had a lot of
things to say to you.
I just want to make
sure I got equal time.
I don't know why
I'm here, exactly,
just to see you without anything
going on around me, I guess.
Is there anything I
could say to you that...
What I mean, is
there anything that I...
I could do to make
up for how I failed you?
Yes.
You can listen to a few names
my mother might not have
gotten around to calling you,
like coward and rat
and a poor excuse for a parent.
Yeah, I'd like to say all
the things that one might...
All the clichés one might
expect to hear in this situation.
Damn it, I felt
them long enough.
Aren't I entitled?
Oh, what should I do,
keep the conversation light
just because we're strangers
or give in to my need
to point out to you
that we share the same blood?
I'm well aware of that.
Yeah, well, there's a
lot more to being a father
than just planting the seed.
Is it too late for me
to be your father?
Yes!
I... I... I don't know.
Table over there, second one.
All right, now, just remember,
he's going to be surprised
when he gets close
enough to recognize you.
That's when I'm going
to slip in behind him
and do it.
Like a dozen other times, huh?
What's the matter?
You want to do it?
No. Get set. Go on.
[grunts]
I've got 5 of 8:00.
What have you got?
5 of 8:00. [sighs]
You ever stop and think about
how weird blackmailers are?
As opposed to what?
Killers? Bank robbers?
No, no, no, wait.
You think about it,
essentially what
a blackmailer does
is he steals your privacy
and then he tries
to sell it back to you.
Since we're in the privacy
protection business,
we're sort of natural enemies.
That's nice, Rick.
You can tell that to the blackmailer
we're just about to meet...
- [metallic rattle]
- Hey, what is that?
[gunshot]
It's a fellow with a gun, A.J.
- Thank you, Rick.
- [car starting]
[tires screeching]
[A.J.] Oh, my God.
It's one of Sandra's bodyguards.
Blackmailer?
[A.J. sighs]
- Well?
- Either we do or we don't.
We do.
Police finished putting
this jigsaw together,
they're going to have enough
to indict Sandra Delaporte.
[siren approaching]
I guess he was
double-crossing her,
working a little
blackmail on his own
that she didn't know about.
[siren continues]
[Rick] Uh-oh.
Hurry, hurry.
Put your hands
on top of your head.
Hi, Suzy, it's me.
[Suzy] Hi, A.J.
Put your hands
on top of your head.
- Suzy.
- Friend of yours?
[sighs]
Tell me something else.
Whatever you want to know.
How many years would you get
if I turned you in to the
Marines for desertion?
Not an hour, not a day.
It was all fixed
a long time ago.
Friendly administration,
capable attorneys,
plus a few thousand
hours of community service.
You're just like
her, aren't you?
You can fix things.
Sometimes.
So there isn't any way
I can hurt you, is there?
[chuckles] You're
making progress.
I wanted to hurt you.
I also wanted...
to understand you.
That might take a while.
Can we do this without mayhem?
I wouldn't have
it any other way.
- My name is Agonistes,
but you can call me sir.
- [mock laughs]
I was wondering if
we might have a chat
about Mrs. Delaporte.
Please, sit down.
My colleagues and I are out
here from the Eastern Seaboard
making what you might call a
careful business assessment.
Takeover?
Not necessarily.
We're merely conducting
a management survey,
and since you've had recent
dealings with Mrs. Delaporte, well...
You want to know what we know.
Precisely.
Well, you, uh...
You do know what they're calling
the Delaporte outfit here?
The Mickey Mouse Mob.
Oh, dear, hadn't heard that.
Mrs. Delaporte's
fault, you think?
- Um...
- Uh, no, uh,
more likely her late husband.
The nickname's been
around for a while,
and Mrs. Delaporte seems
like she's pretty competent.
Oh, yeah, she can handle
herself against the ropes.
Hm, how reassuring.
Then you say that
there's no need
for executive action
on our part, huh?
Excuse me.
For one thing, I'm not giving
advice to a syndicate hit man, sir.
And for another thing, what
do you care what we think?
Because you have
a sound reputation.
- We do?
- Because there's no way
you're going to benefit
from your own answers.
Thus the element
of greed is removed,
which often tempers judgment.
Wow.
So you want our totally
objective assessment.
- Of course.
- Don't kill her.
Don't even think about it.
And now, guys, it's
been a full... Mm-mm.
Full night.
It's nice meeting you.
Yeah, thanks for the advice,
but for what it's worth,
I'm not here to kill anybody.
Oh, good.
I'm just here to see
that the Mickey Mouses
don't start killing each other.
It's bad for them, us, even you.
Good night.
Next time, knock.
- Please?
- [chuckles]
Huh, I thought you'd
be here before now.
Who's in there with
Thacker, homicide?
We told them down in the park.
We left Thacker in here 20
minutes before the murder.
With his daughter.
Relax, guys, he's not a suspect,
but they think Mrs.
Delaporte might be.
I got the preliminary report
on the envelope
found at the scene.
The dead man was her employee,
on the payroll as groundskeeper.
Read muscle.
He was apparently
trying to peddle some stuff
that could tie her in
to the car bombing.
And blackmailing Thacker?
Maybe, but whoever killed him,
left all the blackmail
stuff behind.
Funny way to do business, right?
- Oh, hilarious.
- Hysterical.
[clears throat, whistles] Uh...
Remember those strangers from
out of town we were telling you about?
They're here now,
doing a little
management survey,
which means they're
trying to decide
whether Mrs.
Delaporte lives or dies.
How did you know that?
Mr. Agonistes asked our opinion.
Yours? Why the hell yours?
We have a very good reputation.
Town, tell you what.
You give us five,
maybe say, ten minutes
with our client,
and then we will meet
you anywhere you say,
give you everything we've got.
- Everything?
- Everything, absolutely.
See you in about 30
minutes at the Chock-a-Block.
They don't think she killed him.
There was some stuff left
behind that might incriminate her.
[scoffs] My mother is
everything you have to be
to fill the shoes of a guy
like Johnny the Bounce,
but she's not a killer.
We don't think she is.
I'm just trying to tell
you how it's shaping up.
Mavis, look...
You may be tough enough
to go it alone, but I'm not.
I need all the help I can get.
Are you guys
going to stay with it?
Yeah, we're staying with it,
but it's going to have
to be a team effort.
Mavis?
Yes. What do you need to know?
Your mother's bodyguards,
the man who was
killed and the other guy,
who hired them?
My mother's
lawyer, Sid Gretchen.
He always handled all
the details since Dad...
Since Johnny died.
Well, we have to talk to Lieutenant
Brown down at the station, so...
We'll get together
with you tomorrow
and go over what we know.
Walk you to your car?
No, I'll be fine.
- Good night.
- Yeah, thank you. Good night.
What was he like, Delaporte?
Johnny?
Johnny really
wasn't very bright,
but Mother is,
and Johnny depended on
her and her lawyer for advice.
Tell me one more thing.
What's the real reason
you deserted my mother?
I was against the
war in Vietnam, 1,
and I didn't want to
get shot up or killed, 2,
and 3,
your mother and I should've
never been married in the first place.
That's what I thought.
Disappointed?
Not really.
Some days... Well,
there are some days
that I can't stand her, either.
Sure.
Don't move. Freeze right there.
Real slow, put your
hands on top of your head.
Up, pretty boy, come over here.
Put your hands on the van,
hands on the side of the van.
At no time does this gun leave
your brother's back, cowboy,
- so nothing smart, okay?
- All right, all right.
Got a .44 Magnum
under the left shoulder.
All right, take it out real
slow with your left hand.
Pass it back to me, butt first.
That's it.
- All right, how about you?
- .357 in my right waist.
Oh, yeah.
Okay, open the van.
Not you. You.
Come on. Right in
the middle of his back.
Climb in there.
Come on, cowboy.
Let's go.
Welcome to the
Sandra Condominiums,
another Delaporte interest.
I picked them up
outside Thacker's hotel.
This is all they were packing.
[laughs]
Well, gentlemen, I'd
ask you to sit down,
but as you can see...
Hey, put your hands
back in your pocket.
- My nose itches. You mind?
- No.
- Hey...
- [Rick groans]
- Feel better?
- Oh, that was a lot better. Thank you.
[groans]
What happened to Sandra?
The cops picked
her up, took her in.
She was screaming
her head off for a lawyer,
so I told her I'd come
and look for you.
Ah, well, we'll see
what I can do for her
after we finish up here.
This is never going
to work, Gretchen.
The cops aren't going to
pin your man's murder on her.
He's not my man. She paid him.
The cops think she tried
to get Thacker with a bomb.
Why wouldn't they believe that
she'd go after the blackmailer
who was double-crossing her?
Anything to keep
her from going public.
That's not a sure thing.
Well, if the cops
turn her loose,
the publicity will ruin her,
and if Thacker goes ahead
with the press conference
that we blackmailed
him into, all the better.
You see, you have to
understand that back east
they are very, very
nervous about bad publicity,
and as Sandra's legal counsel,
I can almost make sure
that she will be indicted
for the murder of that
young union attorney.
Uh, Agonistes will never buy it.
Nice try, but Agonistes is back
in New Jersey, 3,000 miles away.
Wrong.
Agonistes is out here.
He's taking a survey.
As a matter of
fact, he talked to us.
He wanted our opinion
of Mrs. Delaporte's
managerial capabilities,
and we gave her
a triple-A rating.
Triple-A plus.
Odd he didn't
even ask about you.
It was like you
didn't even exist.
- Anything on Agonistes?
- Not a peep.
Anything was happening on the
street, I would've heard about it.
Doesn't matter if
he's here or not.
See, the only thing Agonistes
is interested in is results,
good management,
and with you two gone,
we can put the
lid back on tight.
Agonistes will like that.
Do it.
Then steal a car
and put their bodies
in Lot D at the airport.
I'll call Agonistes
and give him a report.
Uh, mind if I ask
you a question first?
Tell me something, fish face,
what was it like to
knife your buddy?
[grunting]
All right, now, look.
In the time it
takes to shoot me,
he's going to kill your boss.
That's a real nasty hole.
- [Gretchen gagging]
Let him go or I'll shoot.
I don't want to be a
bad sport or anything,
- but if this Neanderthal
shoots me, kill him.
- I'll be glad to.
Your life's going to get awfully
complicated if you let your boss die.
Let him go.
[car motor grinding]
[motor starts]
Hold it! Hold it.
All right, out of the car.
[Gretchen] Drop your gun.
Don't do it, Rick.
Don't do it!
Well, West owes
the East a big one.
[grunts]
Let me tell you
something, Gretchen.
The East and the West
Coast agree on one thing.
You're nowhere. Both
of you get in the car.
Not you two. You're
not going anywhere.
- Who ordered this contract? I'll appeal.
- There's no appeal
because there's no contract.
I made an executive decision.
Now, both of
you, get in the car.
I don't understand.
Clearly.
That's why I have a need to
explain your options to you.
Now, we'll go someplace where
I can make it perfectly clear.
Relax, you guys. I
have no quarrel with you.
Besides, people are
always giving us a bad rap.
I mean, we don't go around
just indiscriminately
executing people.
I mean, we do it
from time to time,
but there's always
a good reason.
Like I said, you've
got good reputations.
[horn honks]
Boy, Gretchen not
only turned himself in.
He's singing an entire opera,
and Sandra's name
isn't even mentioned.
Well, when
Mr. Agonistes explains,
he does a very good job of it.
Oh, yeah.
I think he presented Gretchen
a choice that wasn't a choice,
so...
- Thank you.
- Sure.
That was the easy part.
I wish I could buy a new
start with my daughter.
[Mavis] You might have to.
Mom just kicked me out.
[A.J.] Oh, dear.
- Please sit down.
- Thank you.
How is your mother,
other than mad at you?
Oh, she always
lands on her feet.
As I was walking out,
she was on the phone
with some big wheel,
phrases like "venture
capital" and "cash flow."
Did I have anything
to do with your fight?
You were the fight.
You're not an easy guy
to defend. You know that?
Give me another 20 years.
We'll give it a try.
Closed-Captioned By J.R.
Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA
blackmailing you for?
My business with
you is strictly private.
I want you to find my
ex-wife and daughter.
Remember those, uh,
strangers from out of town?
Well, they're here now.
Can we do this without mayhem?
I wouldn't have
it any other way.
[grunting]
Is it too late for me
to be your father?
There's a lot more
to being a father
than planting the seed!
Relax, you guys.
We don't go around
just indiscriminately
executing people.
I mean, we do it
from time to time.
What is that?
[gunshot]
♪♪ [theme]
I bought you a new blue
three-piece for tonight.
Shirt, shorts. It's
all waiting for you
in room 210 at the hotel.
You be there by 7:00.
George, you think we're
ever going to live through this?
Oh, that's not the point.
Getting you elected president
of this union is the point.
I'm a practical man.
Life after, it's a
philosophical question.
It's none of my business.
Look, I'm going
over to the hotel.
I got to check
the banquet setup.
If you don't stop them,
the waiters put
out the apple pie
when they're setting the table.
Get some rest.
It's in the schedule...
4:10 to 5:20.
See you down there.
All right. Bye-bye.
[motor stalls]
Oh, perfect.
Dan!
Can you give me a lift?
The rental car won't start.
It's a... It's a dead
battery or something.
I don't need this.
Uh, here. Take
mine. I'll take a cab.
- Are you sure?
- Yeah, go on.
You got work to do. Oh, listen.
I want to hold a
press conference...
Contingency plans
anyway. Say, Friday.
Should be no problem. We'll
squeeze it in somewhere.
- Standard release?
- No, no, no. Not standard.
I'll fill you in on it later.
You have the energy
for an original thought?
- [laughing]
- I'm not working you
hard enough.
Get out of here.
[Rick] Okay, we'll call
you in a couple of weeks
and set up another time.
Thank you.
What are you doing
with my calendar?
Just rearranging a few things,
like the Crowman case.
We can set up their
trial reconciliation
in a week.
No, we can't.
It's a court order.
Oh, yeah.
Okay. So on our
way, we'll stop by
and search the
house for weapons.
Oh, no. Wait a... Hey.
Would you mind telling
me what is so important
that you feel compelled
to clear my calendar
from the 5th to the 9th?
When Lady Luck blows you a kiss,
go with it.
"Congratulations, Simo family."
It's close enough.
Look, the Grand
Sweepstakes prize computer
picked our names
for four fun-filled,
all-expense-paid days and nights
at Caesar's in Las Vegas.
- Rick, this is junk mail.
- Yeah, I know.
They mail out
millions of these things.
You have to sit in a hotel room
until you buy a condo.
It's Vegas. It's free.
And once we get there,
we'll figure out a way
to dodge the slides.
I think you should
have looked at the map.
I know where Vegas is.
Mm-hmm. This isn't
Caesar's Palace.
What?
This is Caesar
Rosenberg's Arroyo Estates.
"Only half a tank away
from the bustling downtown
metropolis of Las Vegas."
- Let me see that.
- It's damn near in Utah, Rick.
I already confirmed
our reservations.
Mr. Simon?
Uh, yes. I'm A.J. Simon.
This is my nemesis Rick.
Daniel C. Thacker,
International Vice President.
Ooh, LDUW. Big union.
Well, third or fourth largest.
Depends on who's counting.
Weren't you involved in
that car bombing yesterday?
The one with the
lawyer who got killed?
George Flacks
was killed in my car.
Please, won't you sit down?
Thank you.
Weren't you there?
The papers said you were there.
I was supposed
to die, not George.
That's police business.
That's not why I'm here.
My business with
you is strictly private.
It's about blackmail.
See, my name wasn't
always Dan Thacker, and I...
Well, that's why
they're blackmailing me.
Okay. Who'd Dan
Thacker used to be?
20 years ago, my
name was Eddie Blair.
I had a wife. I had a
year-old baby daughter
and a second John's Commission
in our Marine Reserve unit.
Anyway, my unit was among
the first to be activated to Vietnam,
but I didn't make the muster.
I lit out for Canada, and
I left my family behind.
It's not a very
pretty story, is it?
We've heard worse.
Lot of guys made that decision.
But why did Eddie Blair
not take his family with him?
Well, he was going
to, but a year went by.
He changed his
name to Dan Thacker,
got a job, joined the union.
All of a sudden,
20 years went by,
and he found himself the
International Vice President.
So how much are they
blackmailing you for?
- $100,000.
- Whew...
It's pretty steep for
what they got on you.
Look, gentlemen,
I'm in the middle of a
tough union election.
George Flacks was
my campaign manager.
I suppose the blackmailers
think the rank and file
don't want a draft
dodger as their president.
What do you think?
I don't care.
I won't pay blackmail,
even if I could.
What I'm going to do is
hold a press conference.
In a few days, I'm
going to lay it out.
I might shine it up a bit.
Where do we come in?
I want you to find my
ex-wife and daughter.
I want you to tell them where
I am now, who I am, and why.
You know, see if there's
anything they need.
More importantly, I want
to see if my daughter
will let me try to
explain to her who I am.
Got any leads?
Friends? Relatives?
Her maiden name
was Sandra Jefferson.
A friend of hers gave me
the last number he had on her,
but it's 10 years old.
Local?
Well, it's no problem.
What are the chances
that the blackmail attempt
and the car bombing
are tied together?
I can't make the connection.
You don't blackmail somebody
and then kill them
before they pay off.
There's got to be
another reason.
How long is your
list of enemies?
Too long by one.
So?
So we're here to
see Sandra Jefferson.
Not a chance.
Oh, good. Wasn't sure
we had the right address.
Would you please tell her
that it is a private
family matter?
Her idea of private
don't include you.
How do you know till you ask?
Oh, we know, all right.
It's what we do,
what we're good at.
We look at you, and we see
someone she don't want to see.
And who the hell are you?
Who are we?
I'm Mr. Bad.
My little friend
here is Mr. Worse.
And if you two don't bug off,
we're going to fold you
up along the dotted lines
and stick you back in that
little kiddie car you came in.
- Kiddie car?
- [car honks]
Harry, what's the problem?
These guys are just
leaving, Ms. Mavis.
We're here to discuss something
with Sandra
Jefferson. You related?
Yeah. I'm her daughter.
What's this about?
- It's about your father.
- He's dead.
My mother and Sid Gretchen, our
almost ever-present family counselor.
Rick and A.J. Simon.
Private investigators.
This is Rick and this is A.J.
Do be nice and
make me a drink, Sid.
They're here about
dear old Daddy.
Or should I say my
real dear old Daddy?
Drinks, gentlemen?
As long as Sidney's up.
- Oh, no.
- None for me. Thank you.
Then may I ask how you found me?
We had an old telephone number.
Just a question
of hunt and peck.
I changed the
phones after his death,
when I went back to using
my maiden name, Jefferson.
Sandra, don't feel
obligated to explain.
I'd like to know who
these men represent.
We were retained
by your first husband,
who now calls
himself Dan Thacker.
Daniel C. Thacker.
Mother, did you
know... Later, Mavis.
After he went to
Canada, he got a job...
After he deserted me, you mean.
Right.
He joined a union,
rose through its ranks,
and now he is running
for the international
presidency of that union.
Someone is blackmailing him.
They want $100,000 from him.
Not trivial that he deserted
you and your daughter.
Now, that's the man who almost
got killed in his car yesterday.
What is all this?
It's the rotten truth, Mavis.
I'm sorry it's being dropped
on you like a hammer.
Is he going to pay?
No, he's going to hold
a press conference
and lay it all out.
That's why he
wanted us to find you,
to let you know
what his plans were
and to see if there was
anything that you needed...
But I don't suppose there is.
That dirty...
Did he also tell you what
really happened 20 years ago?
How he left me and
my 1-year-old daughter
with $39.43?
We damn near starved.
You go tell Mr. Dan Thacker
that the Delaporte interests
are now my sole responsibility,
and there will be
no embarrassment.
No humiliation.
Delaporte?
That's right. Johnny Delaporte.
The Johnny Delaporte.
My late husband.
Sandra, don't go into that.
I don't have to.
They get the message.
Yes, ma'am.
You tell Mr. Thacker
I'll meet with him here,
and I'll convince him.
And if he won't,
then I'll pay his
damn blackmail.
And that's the
way it's going to be.
- Bye.
- Thank you.
- Johnny Delaporte.
- Yeah.
- Johnny the Bounce.
- I know.
One minute, we're working
on a simple case of desertion.
The next minute, we're tangled
up with the Mickey Mouse Mob,
and that woman in
there is running it.
Well, that's what
they're called.
They don't like
to be called that.
At least it's beginning
to make sense.
You know who favors car
bombings for the kiss-off, don't you?
Not the Mickey Mouse Mob.
They've never been into murder.
- What do you think
they're in, olive oil?
- Wait!
Please, tell my father
I want to see him.
Tell him... Tell him
he owes me that much.
Well, look... Like
we told your mom,
we'll try and get him
here this afternoon.
No, I want to see him alone.
It's going to have
to be afterward.
Fine, but tonight.
I'll come to him.
7:30?
We'll tell him.
If that's what he
wants, we'll set it up.
Thank you.
Bye-bye.
How long do you give him?
Oh, five seconds.
- Make it four.
- Okay.
[Both] One thousand-1,
one thousand-2,
one thousand-3, one thousand-4.
Hi. Buy you guys
a cup of coffee?
Sure. Can we ride in the
back, like somebody important?
If you were
important, you could.
And just who the hell
are those two guys?
I don't care what
Dan Thacker does,
but right now, it's too
tricky to have those two guys
sticking their
fingers in the spokes.
If they do, cut them off.
Boy, she is a beauty, Town.
They have things back here
they've never even heard of
in most Third World countries.
What's this for?
- Makes ice cream.
- Makes ice cream.
Now, what in the hell do
you two guys have in common
with the widow Delaporte?
Her ex-husband...
Her first ex-husband.
- Hmm.
- What's your interest?
Oh, rumors and
whispers from back east.
- The mob biggies back there...
- [music plays]
are not too happy with...
Would you turn that off, please?
- Huh.
- [music stops]
They aren't happy with
the West Coast operations
since Johnny Delaporte died.
They're afraid
of a takeover bid.
Somebody's trying
to unseat Sandra,
and so are we. That's
why I'm watching her place.
- It gets better and better.
- [window lowers]
First the Mickey Mouse
Mob, now the real mob.
Is there any chance that, uh,
that union car bombing
and the rest of it
are tied together?
- Why make that connection?
- Eh.
So far as we know, Delaporte
wasn't tied to that union or any other.
Who's her ex-husband?
Daniel C. Thacker, International
Vice President of the same union...
Will you put that down
and leave the buttons alone?
Sorry.
So what does he want, some
private help with the investigation?
No, it's something else.
If it turns out that it fits
in, we'll give you all of it.
You got any leads?
Well, Dan Thacker is the
odds-on favorite to win the election,
although we're
working on a theory
that someone in the
union doesn't want him to.
Give you something
else to go on.
Sandra's lawyer is a very
sharp item named Gretchen,
Sidney Gretchen,
very edgy, very protective.
There might be
meat on those bones.
Anything else you
hear, I'd like to have it.
We could be looking
at big trouble here,
a mob war, power grab.
If you hear of any
mysterious strangers
dropping by the
widow Delaporte's,
especially one named
Agonistes, let me know.
- Mm-hmm.
- Just might save a life.
Would you put that dow...
Done all right.
You like that, I'll bet.
Takes you off the hook.
Yeah, I've done all right,
enough to pay
off your blackmail.
Nobody pays any blackmail.
And you are damn sure
not going to show up here
like some bad penny
after all these years
and humiliate my
daughter and me.
I won't have it, Eddie.
Name's Thacker now, Dan Thacker.
I know what it is.
I've known for years.
I'm sure we can all discuss this
and reach some
amicable understanding.
What do you mean by...
known all these years?
You don't think Johnny
Delaporte would've married me
if he hadn't known
every last detail
about my first husband,
including who he was
and who he had become?
Rick and A.J. Simon aren't
the first private detectives
I've talked to over the years.
I'd forgotten about you, Sandra.
I mean, over the years,
I lost a little perspective.
I blamed myself too much.
You wouldn't be
trying to blackmail me
in some strange way, would you?
Don't be ridiculous.
You know, A.J., there's nothing
in our files that's going to help.
We don't do business with the...
Johnsons about once a year.
Well, I'd be happier
if you never had to deal
with organized crime at all.
Well, this isn't helping.
Are you sure it
isn't a blood stain?
- No, that's taco sauce.
- [A.J.] No, Mom, that's wine.
[knock on door]
Aw, geez,
Snake Eyes, walk
in here backwards
so we can at least
think you're leaving.
Hey, man, what's
happening, dudes?
Long time, no see.
Ooh, who's the little lady?
- [A.J.] That's our mom.
- That's our mother.
Oh, wow, man, that
gets a fix on my heart.
Why on earth are you
wearing all those rings?
Careful, Mom.
You don't want to
get too close to him,
or he'll be wearing
your rings, too.
Go easy, bud.
I'm a mobile
jewelry store, mama.
I deal in rad metal. You
see anything you like?
Oh, that's a pretty one.
Mom, don't get so close.
Check it out, mama.
[Rick] Is there any
particular reason
that you've slithered
in here today?
Advice for a
Price, Incorporated.
Remember me?
[A.J.] Yeah.
Ah.
Word has reached
my corporate offices
that you are seeking info
about one Mr. Agonistes.
Yeah.
[A.J. sighs]
[Snake Eyes chuckles]
Tsk tsk tsk tsk. Dig deep.
Think of me as
your favorite charity.
[Rick clears throat]
Ah.
Thor Agonistes,
one of Detroit's favorite sons,
began his career as a tailor,
a tailor in the sense that he could
make a cement vest fit anybody.
- You with me so far, man?
- Yes.
It wasn't long before the boys
felt so good about Mr. Agonistes
that they made him
their ace troubleshooter.
When Mr. Agonistes
comes to town,
there's trouble.
When he leaves, there isn't any.
- What's this?
- [Indian accent] Law books.
- What?
- Law books.
I don't know anything
about any law books.
Manjee knows about books.
Manjee most need deliver books.
I have no time to explain it.
- Wait, you can't
just go in there.
- Thank you very much indeed.
No, no, you don't understand.
You cannot be in here.
Well, if you desire these books on
your desk, then it's fine with Manjee.
- Manjee has work to do.
- No, no, no, not on my desk.
Hey, hey, hey, Manjee,
what are you doing?
- Oh, not more.
- What's the hold up here?
- [Rick] Hold up.
- No, Manjee.
- Oh, no.
- Well, I am terribly sorry,
but this lady for some reason
desires these books on her desk...
[A.J.] What is going
on in here, lady?
I've got a job to do.
You've got a job to do.
Everybody does there job, I can
be at the Bowlerama by 7:00 tonight.
It's the league
playoffs, the finals.
[Rick] Yeah, very big,
very much work to do.
Manjee quit now, take nap.
- No, you're not napping here.
- No.
No, no, Manjee, not here.
No. Oh... [sighs]
Manjee. Please, wake up, Manjee.
Oh. Will you get me
some help, please?
Oh, no, no. Look, it all...
Look, lady, give me
some help. Come on.
He did this at the doctor's
office at Chula Vista.
- Give me some help, all right?
- Okay.
There's something
wrong with him. Please?
Yeah, I'll get some
boys from the mail...
Yeah, call a nurse... No,
get a doctor or something.
Why, I've got to
hand it to Carlos.
Who else could get us a
hundred law books on short notice?
Look at this.
The Dickman Packing Plant case.
That was mob money, wasn't it?
Yep.
Here we go.
Got the Delaporte file.
Ooh. Piles.
Just going to grab a fistful.
Look at this...
The Dusenbury
School supply rip-off.
This Gretchen's in every
nasty business in town.
He's the mob's very
own Perry Mason.
- Yep.
- [door rattles]
[Woman] Why is this door locked?
Open this up.
[A.J. grunts]
[grunts] Sorry,
must've gotten stuck.
I just called Mr. Grace's
office in Purchasing,
and he hasn't ordered any books.
No books? No books.
That is very fine.
Much more work for Manjee.
Now I go take a
nap in the truck.
I have had it with this.
Gretchen?
These books are
supposed to be for Gonzales,
Hector Gonzales,
Mexican divorce law...
Hey, hey, hey, hey, Manjee.
No, don't quit now.
What's this guy going to
do with Spanish law books?
[both arguing,
fading into distance]
Do you realize our friendship
is based on a whole lot of trust?
I trust if I knew where you got
this stuff, we wouldn't be friends.
Fat lot of good
it's going to do us.
Gretchen's no Boy Scout,
but there's nothing in there
that's going to get him disbarred.
That's about right,
and yet he is the lawyer of
choice for the local syndicate.
They've had him on a
retainer for the past 11 years.
Hard not to get
painted with that brush.
It's not impossible.
He kept Johnny
Delaporte out of jail
through perfectly legal means.
He'll probably do the
same thing for Sandra.
Hm.
I pronounce this food dead.
I've got to get back.
I'll walk with you.
While we're going,
maybe you can answer
some questions for me,
like, if Gretchen is so clean
and Sandra is so in control,
why are you working
double shifts?
Why are you eating plastic food?
Why are bombs going off,
and why are we
all expecting a visit
from one of the East
Coast's major dudes?
I do not know.
Back on the right track here.
Sandra and Thacker
just had a good cat fight
and reaffirmed their
everlasting dislike for each other.
It would be better
if he was dead.
No doubt,
but we can still pull it
off sooner than later.
You're damn straight.
They're already hearing
the war drums back east.
You can count on it.
It'll all be over in 24 hours.
I sent Thacker a message
that the blackmailer
wants a meeting tonight.
Thacker's not our problem.
Those Simon brothers are.
They barged right in
here and pilfered my files.
They didn't get anything,
but it's their resourcefulness
that worries me.
They keep trying, they're
going to get something.
One thing.
They can prove that
Thacker didn't know
who Sandra was before.
They can only prove
he said he didn't know,
and Sandra has already
admitted to knowing him.
It'll work. It's all in here.
Sandra didn't want the public
scrutiny he was going to bring her.
It's a good case,
good enough so that
our friends back east
will cut her loose like that.
They might want to turn
a lot of us loose like that.
I'm starting to think it's
going to cost you more.
Fair enough.
You both get 5% of the rake
as soon as we own
the Mickey Mouse Mob.
Fair enough?
You packed?
Always, but why?
Because you're going to
have to lay low for a while
until the smoke clears.
You're going to
kill Dan Thacker.
So if the East Coast mob has sent
their main troubleshooter out here...
The cops are watching
your ex, expecting trouble...
And there's likely
going to be some
or some more.
Yeah, but trying to
hit me with a car bomb,
it just doesn't make sense.
I didn't know Sandra was married
to Johnny Delaporte until today.
[Rick] It makes sense.
We just don't know how.
When we figure it out,
my bet is it's going to tie
back in to the blackmail.
Oh, yeah, the
blackmailer called.
He wants to meet
tonight at 8:00.
Here's the place.
I'd like you two to
meet him for me.
It would be cleaner that way,
and I don't care
what Sandra says.
I don't pay blackmail.
You tell him that, and if he doesn't
believe it, convince him, okay?
Okay.
We're not going to get
rough for you, though,
not unless he starts something.
No. When do I get
to see my daughter?
7:30 tonight, your hotel room.
[knock on door]
Hello.
Um, hello.
I'm Mavis. I go by the
last name of Delaporte.
I don't know quite what to say.
How about, come in?
Oh, sorry. Sure, please.
Um...
Why did you want
to see me alone?
I know my mother.
She had a lot of
things to say to you.
I just want to make
sure I got equal time.
I don't know why
I'm here, exactly,
just to see you without anything
going on around me, I guess.
Is there anything I
could say to you that...
What I mean, is
there anything that I...
I could do to make
up for how I failed you?
Yes.
You can listen to a few names
my mother might not have
gotten around to calling you,
like coward and rat
and a poor excuse for a parent.
Yeah, I'd like to say all
the things that one might...
All the clichés one might
expect to hear in this situation.
Damn it, I felt
them long enough.
Aren't I entitled?
Oh, what should I do,
keep the conversation light
just because we're strangers
or give in to my need
to point out to you
that we share the same blood?
I'm well aware of that.
Yeah, well, there's a
lot more to being a father
than just planting the seed.
Is it too late for me
to be your father?
Yes!
I... I... I don't know.
Table over there, second one.
All right, now, just remember,
he's going to be surprised
when he gets close
enough to recognize you.
That's when I'm going
to slip in behind him
and do it.
Like a dozen other times, huh?
What's the matter?
You want to do it?
No. Get set. Go on.
[grunts]
I've got 5 of 8:00.
What have you got?
5 of 8:00. [sighs]
You ever stop and think about
how weird blackmailers are?
As opposed to what?
Killers? Bank robbers?
No, no, no, wait.
You think about it,
essentially what
a blackmailer does
is he steals your privacy
and then he tries
to sell it back to you.
Since we're in the privacy
protection business,
we're sort of natural enemies.
That's nice, Rick.
You can tell that to the blackmailer
we're just about to meet...
- [metallic rattle]
- Hey, what is that?
[gunshot]
It's a fellow with a gun, A.J.
- Thank you, Rick.
- [car starting]
[tires screeching]
[A.J.] Oh, my God.
It's one of Sandra's bodyguards.
Blackmailer?
[A.J. sighs]
- Well?
- Either we do or we don't.
We do.
Police finished putting
this jigsaw together,
they're going to have enough
to indict Sandra Delaporte.
[siren approaching]
I guess he was
double-crossing her,
working a little
blackmail on his own
that she didn't know about.
[siren continues]
[Rick] Uh-oh.
Hurry, hurry.
Put your hands
on top of your head.
Hi, Suzy, it's me.
[Suzy] Hi, A.J.
Put your hands
on top of your head.
- Suzy.
- Friend of yours?
[sighs]
Tell me something else.
Whatever you want to know.
How many years would you get
if I turned you in to the
Marines for desertion?
Not an hour, not a day.
It was all fixed
a long time ago.
Friendly administration,
capable attorneys,
plus a few thousand
hours of community service.
You're just like
her, aren't you?
You can fix things.
Sometimes.
So there isn't any way
I can hurt you, is there?
[chuckles] You're
making progress.
I wanted to hurt you.
I also wanted...
to understand you.
That might take a while.
Can we do this without mayhem?
I wouldn't have
it any other way.
- My name is Agonistes,
but you can call me sir.
- [mock laughs]
I was wondering if
we might have a chat
about Mrs. Delaporte.
Please, sit down.
My colleagues and I are out
here from the Eastern Seaboard
making what you might call a
careful business assessment.
Takeover?
Not necessarily.
We're merely conducting
a management survey,
and since you've had recent
dealings with Mrs. Delaporte, well...
You want to know what we know.
Precisely.
Well, you, uh...
You do know what they're calling
the Delaporte outfit here?
The Mickey Mouse Mob.
Oh, dear, hadn't heard that.
Mrs. Delaporte's
fault, you think?
- Um...
- Uh, no, uh,
more likely her late husband.
The nickname's been
around for a while,
and Mrs. Delaporte seems
like she's pretty competent.
Oh, yeah, she can handle
herself against the ropes.
Hm, how reassuring.
Then you say that
there's no need
for executive action
on our part, huh?
Excuse me.
For one thing, I'm not giving
advice to a syndicate hit man, sir.
And for another thing, what
do you care what we think?
Because you have
a sound reputation.
- We do?
- Because there's no way
you're going to benefit
from your own answers.
Thus the element
of greed is removed,
which often tempers judgment.
Wow.
So you want our totally
objective assessment.
- Of course.
- Don't kill her.
Don't even think about it.
And now, guys, it's
been a full... Mm-mm.
Full night.
It's nice meeting you.
Yeah, thanks for the advice,
but for what it's worth,
I'm not here to kill anybody.
Oh, good.
I'm just here to see
that the Mickey Mouses
don't start killing each other.
It's bad for them, us, even you.
Good night.
Next time, knock.
- Please?
- [chuckles]
Huh, I thought you'd
be here before now.
Who's in there with
Thacker, homicide?
We told them down in the park.
We left Thacker in here 20
minutes before the murder.
With his daughter.
Relax, guys, he's not a suspect,
but they think Mrs.
Delaporte might be.
I got the preliminary report
on the envelope
found at the scene.
The dead man was her employee,
on the payroll as groundskeeper.
Read muscle.
He was apparently
trying to peddle some stuff
that could tie her in
to the car bombing.
And blackmailing Thacker?
Maybe, but whoever killed him,
left all the blackmail
stuff behind.
Funny way to do business, right?
- Oh, hilarious.
- Hysterical.
[clears throat, whistles] Uh...
Remember those strangers from
out of town we were telling you about?
They're here now,
doing a little
management survey,
which means they're
trying to decide
whether Mrs.
Delaporte lives or dies.
How did you know that?
Mr. Agonistes asked our opinion.
Yours? Why the hell yours?
We have a very good reputation.
Town, tell you what.
You give us five,
maybe say, ten minutes
with our client,
and then we will meet
you anywhere you say,
give you everything we've got.
- Everything?
- Everything, absolutely.
See you in about 30
minutes at the Chock-a-Block.
They don't think she killed him.
There was some stuff left
behind that might incriminate her.
[scoffs] My mother is
everything you have to be
to fill the shoes of a guy
like Johnny the Bounce,
but she's not a killer.
We don't think she is.
I'm just trying to tell
you how it's shaping up.
Mavis, look...
You may be tough enough
to go it alone, but I'm not.
I need all the help I can get.
Are you guys
going to stay with it?
Yeah, we're staying with it,
but it's going to have
to be a team effort.
Mavis?
Yes. What do you need to know?
Your mother's bodyguards,
the man who was
killed and the other guy,
who hired them?
My mother's
lawyer, Sid Gretchen.
He always handled all
the details since Dad...
Since Johnny died.
Well, we have to talk to Lieutenant
Brown down at the station, so...
We'll get together
with you tomorrow
and go over what we know.
Walk you to your car?
No, I'll be fine.
- Good night.
- Yeah, thank you. Good night.
What was he like, Delaporte?
Johnny?
Johnny really
wasn't very bright,
but Mother is,
and Johnny depended on
her and her lawyer for advice.
Tell me one more thing.
What's the real reason
you deserted my mother?
I was against the
war in Vietnam, 1,
and I didn't want to
get shot up or killed, 2,
and 3,
your mother and I should've
never been married in the first place.
That's what I thought.
Disappointed?
Not really.
Some days... Well,
there are some days
that I can't stand her, either.
Sure.
Don't move. Freeze right there.
Real slow, put your
hands on top of your head.
Up, pretty boy, come over here.
Put your hands on the van,
hands on the side of the van.
At no time does this gun leave
your brother's back, cowboy,
- so nothing smart, okay?
- All right, all right.
Got a .44 Magnum
under the left shoulder.
All right, take it out real
slow with your left hand.
Pass it back to me, butt first.
That's it.
- All right, how about you?
- .357 in my right waist.
Oh, yeah.
Okay, open the van.
Not you. You.
Come on. Right in
the middle of his back.
Climb in there.
Come on, cowboy.
Let's go.
Welcome to the
Sandra Condominiums,
another Delaporte interest.
I picked them up
outside Thacker's hotel.
This is all they were packing.
[laughs]
Well, gentlemen, I'd
ask you to sit down,
but as you can see...
Hey, put your hands
back in your pocket.
- My nose itches. You mind?
- No.
- Hey...
- [Rick groans]
- Feel better?
- Oh, that was a lot better. Thank you.
[groans]
What happened to Sandra?
The cops picked
her up, took her in.
She was screaming
her head off for a lawyer,
so I told her I'd come
and look for you.
Ah, well, we'll see
what I can do for her
after we finish up here.
This is never going
to work, Gretchen.
The cops aren't going to
pin your man's murder on her.
He's not my man. She paid him.
The cops think she tried
to get Thacker with a bomb.
Why wouldn't they believe that
she'd go after the blackmailer
who was double-crossing her?
Anything to keep
her from going public.
That's not a sure thing.
Well, if the cops
turn her loose,
the publicity will ruin her,
and if Thacker goes ahead
with the press conference
that we blackmailed
him into, all the better.
You see, you have to
understand that back east
they are very, very
nervous about bad publicity,
and as Sandra's legal counsel,
I can almost make sure
that she will be indicted
for the murder of that
young union attorney.
Uh, Agonistes will never buy it.
Nice try, but Agonistes is back
in New Jersey, 3,000 miles away.
Wrong.
Agonistes is out here.
He's taking a survey.
As a matter of
fact, he talked to us.
He wanted our opinion
of Mrs. Delaporte's
managerial capabilities,
and we gave her
a triple-A rating.
Triple-A plus.
Odd he didn't
even ask about you.
It was like you
didn't even exist.
- Anything on Agonistes?
- Not a peep.
Anything was happening on the
street, I would've heard about it.
Doesn't matter if
he's here or not.
See, the only thing Agonistes
is interested in is results,
good management,
and with you two gone,
we can put the
lid back on tight.
Agonistes will like that.
Do it.
Then steal a car
and put their bodies
in Lot D at the airport.
I'll call Agonistes
and give him a report.
Uh, mind if I ask
you a question first?
Tell me something, fish face,
what was it like to
knife your buddy?
[grunting]
All right, now, look.
In the time it
takes to shoot me,
he's going to kill your boss.
That's a real nasty hole.
- [Gretchen gagging]
Let him go or I'll shoot.
I don't want to be a
bad sport or anything,
- but if this Neanderthal
shoots me, kill him.
- I'll be glad to.
Your life's going to get awfully
complicated if you let your boss die.
Let him go.
[car motor grinding]
[motor starts]
Hold it! Hold it.
All right, out of the car.
[Gretchen] Drop your gun.
Don't do it, Rick.
Don't do it!
Well, West owes
the East a big one.
[grunts]
Let me tell you
something, Gretchen.
The East and the West
Coast agree on one thing.
You're nowhere. Both
of you get in the car.
Not you two. You're
not going anywhere.
- Who ordered this contract? I'll appeal.
- There's no appeal
because there's no contract.
I made an executive decision.
Now, both of
you, get in the car.
I don't understand.
Clearly.
That's why I have a need to
explain your options to you.
Now, we'll go someplace where
I can make it perfectly clear.
Relax, you guys. I
have no quarrel with you.
Besides, people are
always giving us a bad rap.
I mean, we don't go around
just indiscriminately
executing people.
I mean, we do it
from time to time,
but there's always
a good reason.
Like I said, you've
got good reputations.
[horn honks]
Boy, Gretchen not
only turned himself in.
He's singing an entire opera,
and Sandra's name
isn't even mentioned.
Well, when
Mr. Agonistes explains,
he does a very good job of it.
Oh, yeah.
I think he presented Gretchen
a choice that wasn't a choice,
so...
- Thank you.
- Sure.
That was the easy part.
I wish I could buy a new
start with my daughter.
[Mavis] You might have to.
Mom just kicked me out.
[A.J.] Oh, dear.
- Please sit down.
- Thank you.
How is your mother,
other than mad at you?
Oh, she always
lands on her feet.
As I was walking out,
she was on the phone
with some big wheel,
phrases like "venture
capital" and "cash flow."
Did I have anything
to do with your fight?
You were the fight.
You're not an easy guy
to defend. You know that?
Give me another 20 years.
We'll give it a try.
Closed-Captioned By J.R.
Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA