Simon & Simon (1981–1989): Season 3, Episode 4 - Bail Out - full transcript

The police and the insurance
companies ruled it an accident.

Somebody must have
sabotaged his chute.

[Announcer] Tonight
on Simon & Simon...

Do you know anything
about Santa Lea?

It doesn't have a
basketball team.

Rick, they dress for dinner.

What do you think
I do, eat naked?

I got our cover all worked out.

Don't fall down under pressure.

[Rick whistles]

Are you new on the pro tour?



We found them on the
ground, next to his body.

- He was still
wearing the goggles.
- That strike you as odd?

Everything about this
accident seems odd.

Hey, look, that's a $5,000
roll of goods there, pal.

- Just back off.
- I just want to make it
look like an antique.

♪♪ [theme]

[engine sputtering]

Leeds, I'm giving
you one last chance

to reconsider my proposition.

Give it a rest,
will you, Dayton?

God didn't make
weekends for business,

especially not the
way you conduct it.

Look, Leeds, you know the
kind of pressure I'm under.

- I need an answer fast.
- Okay.



No. Is that fast enough?

Now let's go and enjoy the jump.

Warren, I counted on you.

You just can't
hang me out to dry.

You hanged yourself out.

I'm not going to
let you off the hook.

- I'm going to make waves.
- [chuckles]

Well, then, I hope
you're a good swimmer.

[sighs]

[plane engine roaring]

Hello.

- Hi, Dave.
- Hi, Sherry.

- How's the wind today?
- Perfect.

Should be a good jump.

I think it's crazy. You'd
never get me up there.

You gotta try it.

One of the safest sports going.

More people get hurt on
tennis courts than out here.

- [Dave] Something's wrong.
- Alan?

- Alan!
- Get in.

[people murmuring]

- No...
- Alan!

[Sherry whimpering]

[crying] Alan.

[Dr. Louise over
radio] Okay. Mm-hmm.

- Have you tried
hiding the gloves?
- [yawns]

[Woman] Yes, but he always
seems to find them again.

Doctor, what could
this possibly mean?

And is my husband dangerous?

[Dr. Louise] Oh, I
wouldn't think so, Marie.

It sounds like
classic fantasy...

- What the hell is all this?
- Shh. It's Dr. Louise.

[Dr. Louise] I think
he's trying to tell you

that he loves you and
wants you to join in his game.

So tonight, why
not surprise him?

Take a softball to bed with you.

[Marie] A softball?

But that's crazy.

[Dr. Louise] Thank
you for calling, Marie.

Hello. You're on The
Box with Dr. Louise.

[turns off radio]

Boy, her own husband.

You think you know somebody.

I mean, you live with them
day and night all those years.

All of sudden, they start
doing stuff off the wall.

Tell me about it.

Oh, you mean... Nah.

All of this stuff packs
up in two minutes.

That's the beauty of it.

I figured, you know, since we
didn't have anything in the traps,

I'd take Debbie Mooney down
to Rogue River for the weekend.

- Weekend?
- Yeah?

You got more stuff here than
the Marines had at Guadalcanal.

They won, didn't they?

I figure ol' Debbie will hoist
a white flag about midnight.

Why don't you do this
outside, Mr. Wild Kingdom?

Eh, looks like rain. I don't
want the stuff to get wet.

What do you mean, you
don't want anything to get wet?

You're going down to
Rogue River for the weekend.

How's it not going to get wet?

[phone ringing]

[A.J. sighs]

The long-suffering
A.J. Simon here.

- "Air bottles
should always be stowed..."
- Sherry?

- "...in the air
bottle pocket."
- Oh, Sherry.

Oh, yeah. I didn't
recognize your new name.

- "Contents under
extreme pressure."
- I'm sorry.

Sure.

Well, why don't you come
to the office in about...

"Do not pull..."

- 15 minutes?
"red air bottle ball."

[whimpers]

I think you'd better
make that half an hour.

[objects clattering]

[objects breaking, clattering]

Well, how do you like her?

Good to see you again, Sherry.

You know I haven't
had a decent margarita

since you left The Barnacle?

You know they
retired your blender?

It's been a while since I shared
a happy hour with anyone.

Yeah, well, sorry to
hear about the accident.

Here, sit down.

No. No, thank you.

Well, what can we do for you?

Insurance problems?

Something wrong
with the will? What?

No. You can find out who
murdered my husband.

How many of you are going?

We don't know how long
we're going to be in Santa Lea.

I just want to be prepared.

For what, a shirt shortage?

I could have packed
ten of these by now.

Rick, there is a difference
between packing...

and stuffing.

Well, as our old Uncle
Willard used to say,

"Life's sort of like
an overnight bag.

The more you cram into it,
the longer you get to stay."

Yeah, well, for
your information,

I'm just taking
along a few things

to shore up our credibility.

As what? Detective Sam Spade

wore the same suit
through an entire movie.

Rick, do you know
anything about Santa Lea?

It doesn't have a
basketball team.

Ah-hah! Okay, there you go.

Neither does Palm Beach.

Neither does Newport.

Neither does Grosse Pointe.

Rick, they dress
for dinner there.

What do you think
I do, eat naked?

[sighs] Never mind.

Look, I've been
thinking about my cover.

How does the name
Andrew Swan strike you?

Sort of like a feather.

Look, I've already got
our cover all worked out.

You're going to love it.

All you're going to need
is a pair of sneakers

and some sweat socks,

and don't fall down
under pressure.

[cuckoo, cuckoo]

The police and the insurance
companies ruled it an accident.

Now what makes you
think it was murder?

Alan was an expert skydiver.

He always went over all his gear

with a fine-toothed comb.

Somebody must have
sabotaged his chute.

Well, what makes you think that?

I mean, did Alan have any
enemies you know about?

Are you kidding?

In the record business you
don't make friends, just money.

A lot of the competition
was gunning for him.

Do you recall any arguments

or heated conversations
he might have had?

He was working on a very
complicated business deal

with a man named Warren Leeds.

- Maybe you've heard of him?
- Yep.

He's sort of a
one-man conglomerate

of hotels in Vegas,

pinball machines, cable TV...

Very prominent friends

in the olive oil
importing business.

Well, I wasn't crazy about
Alan getting involved with Leeds.

They had a meeting
here two days before...

I-I couldn't make out
what was being said.

I-I just know there
was a lot of shouting.

Who was doing
most of the shouting?

Alan.

Leeds stormed out of here,

and Alan wouldn't tell
me what it was all about.

Now, Leeds... was he a
part of the skydiving group?

Yes.

He jumped... right after Alan.

- Hey.
- [Sherry] Hey, I'm sorry.

- That's okay. That's okay.
- Come on, come on, come on.

- It's all right.
- When can you guys start?

How about right now?
Is that soon enough?

Oh, hey, old friends
are always the best.

Eh.

Now, you might have a problem

with some of the
people in Santa Lea.

Why? What's wrong with them?

Well, Alan's friends never really
accepted me into their world.

I... I wasn't the right
sort of person, I guess.

- Ah. Not phony enough
for them, huh?
- [Sherry laughs]

And if they think that
you're working for me...

No. We'll go undercover.

It'll be better that way anyhow.

Are you kidding?

They'll never even
know we're here.

[chatter]

Where?

He's here! He's here!

Who is he?

I don't know, but let's get
his autograph anyways!

- Yeah!
- Come on!

Oh... Oh.

- Wow! Andrew Swan!
- Who?

Yes, uh, thank you
very much, girls.

- Thank you.
- [Girls] Thank you!

[giggling] Andrew Swan!

Got to hand it to
you, though, Rick.

It's the best cover
you've ever dreamed up.

You know like it. Pipe
plumbing's got to work.

And I appreciate
you letting me have

the glory seat on this one, too.

Well, you have to
trade these things off.

Last time, I was the
oil minister from Kuwait.

That had a certain
amount of glory to it.

Not to mention eight wives.

Hey.

That is the essence
of good undercover...

Authenticity.

- Oh.
- Tell you what.

You check in at
tournament headquarters,

I'm going to lose this stuff
and sniff around the airport.

Hey, uh, you got the entry fee?

[plane buzzing overhead]

[no audible dialogue]

I understand you had a
customer dig a hole on you

about two weeks ago.

What?

Ernie Boyer, NASB.

NASB?

National Air Safety Board.

Oh. You're here about
the Dayton accident.

Let's see, Dayton.

Dayton, Dayton, Alan. Skydiver.

Took the elevator
from the tenth floor.

- What?
- 10,000 feet.

Anything left worth looking at?

The cops, the FAA, and
a hundred insurance guys

have already been
through everything.

Yeah, well, I don't
chew my food twice, pal.

I'm your federal
tax dollar at work.

Spend me wisely.

- Mr. Swan?
- Yes.

I'm Lisa Bannon with
the Santa Lea Register.

I'm covering the tournament.

I wonder if you could
give me some background

on yourself for our readers.

Oh. Well, I'm really
due for my alcohol rub,

but I guess I could
give you a few moments.

Good.

I hope you don't take
this the wrong way,

but I'm not familiar
with your name

and you haven't
played here before.

Are you new on the pro tour?

New?

- Yes.
- [A.J. laughs]

Well, let's see.

San Antonio, Open clay
courts champion, 1975.

Forest Hills runner-up, 1978.

Gunze, Motors World
Invitational champion, 1979.

Let's see, I beat Jimmy
6-2, 6-3 in that one.

Jimmy Connors?

I was not referring to Durante.

Packed the chute myself.

Police technician verified it
was in perfect working order.

Still is.

Once they ruled
it was an accident,

they sent everything back to us.

Best we can figure is some sort
of freak temporary malfunction

in the release mechanism.

No way somebody could
have tampered with it.

What are you looking at?

Do you mind? I'm working here.

Dayton wore corrective glasses?

Yeah. We found them on
the ground, next to his body.

He was still
wearing the goggles.

Wait a minute.

You're saying that the
glasses were on the ground,

the goggles were
still on his head?

- Yeah.
- That strike you as odd?

Everything about this
accident seems odd.

The day that Dayton jumped,
who went out behind him?

Uh, Warren Leeds.

- He live around here?
- Yeah.

Hi, fellas. You want
to give me a hand

getting this up
over the brick here?

Take a hike.

Nobody ordered any carpet.

This the, uh, Warren
Leeds residence?

- I'm losing patience.
- Hey, come on, guys.

I'm just a working
slob trying to do my job.

- You know what I mean?
- Don't make me laugh.

Do I look like a comedian?

Now, if you've got
something against me,

like, personally or
something like that,

just show me where I
can leave the carpet.

I'll put it there and
get out of your hair.

- That's very funny.
- [Rick laughs]

Your partner's inside
the carpet, right?

Uh, n-no.

There's nobody in
there. It's just a carpet.

Well, if nobody's in the carpet,

then you won't mind if I...

Hey, look, that's a $5,000
roll of goods there, pal.

Just back off.

I just want to make
it look like an antique.

[metal squeaks]

That's the first
battery-operated carpet

that I ever saw.

Isn't that the darnedest thing?

You want to see Mr. Leeds?

Make an appointment.

Well, 3:30 looks good to me...

Get out of here.

[A.J., muffled] I told
you it wouldn't work.

- ♪♪ [piano]
- [chatter]

Laurie, Jack, hello.

Did the temperature in here
just drop about 10 degrees?

La-di-da.

Well, you'd think I'd
stop trying after a while.

Come on, hey.

It's just that they don't
know you, that's all.

Yeah. If they knew you, they wouldn't
let you in the joint to begin with.

There you go.

Sherry, how are you?

You shouldn't be
seen here, Lisa.

- I'm contagious.
- Don't worry.

Not everybody in
Santa Lea is as snobbish

as the country club set.

Nice to see you again, Mr. Swan.

Miss Bannon, this
my trainer, Dick Sloan.

- Hi.
- How do you do?

Nice to meet you.

So, you're the one who
keeps the machine oiled.

Well, in a manner
of speaking, yeah.

That's the guy with
the phony carpet.

Ah.

Go on in. I'm going
to wash my hands.

You seem very confident.

I see that you didn't show up for
your practice match this afternoon.

Well, we don't want the
machine to get too well-oiled.

Gets greasy after a while.

Hey, don't let it get you down.

They'll accept you in time.

I'm not sure it'll
work both ways.

I can't say I blame you.

Well, good luck on your
endeavors, gentlemen.

Good evening.

I wonder what she meant by that.

Hi.

Something from the bar?

- I'd like a...
- Ah, yes.

A scotch mist with
a twist for Mr. Swan

and, um, double margarita,

no salt, for Mr. Sloan.

- I'm impressed.
- Very good. Wow.

I never forget a
face or a drink.

- Well, no. Sometimes a face.
- That's not important.

Just keep the
drink orders straight.

I'll have a daiquirí.

Dave still knows
how to make one.

I'm sure he does, Mrs. Dayton.

[clears throat] Uh, Dave...

Is he the mechanic
at the airport?

Mm-hmm. Dave Haddon.

He moonlights as the bartender.

Good for him.

You tell her I've made her

the best daiquirí
she'll ever have.

Will do, Dave.

The fight was over
by the time I got there,

but they couldn't get
him off the chorus girl.

- Remember that?
- Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

- I don't remember
any of this.
- Oh, yes.

- Here we go.
- At The Barnacle?

Yes.

No way.

Dave says you're
going to love this.

- Oh. Well, tell him thanks.
- I will.

I got into a fight
at The Barnacle?

One?

Well, one memorable
one, but many minor ones.

I don't remember a bit of it.

Here's to old times.

Here's to old friends
at The Barnacle.

Mm.

Ah.

[A.J.] Mm.

Something wrong with your drink?

Smells like there's
crème de cacao in here,

but... [sniffs]

doesn't taste that way.

In a daiquirí? You must
have the wrong drink.

Tastes bitter.

Uh...

Smells like bitter chocolate.

[gasping] Oh!

Hey!

- Hey, hey, hey, hey.
- [groaning]

[A.J.] Mm-hmm.

No, please don't spill it.

Right.

Thank you very much,
Tony. Appreciate it.

Bye-bye.

The police toxicologist
identified the poison

as Propaxamine.

That's a muscle relaxant.

Take enough of it and it
relaxes all your muscles,

including your
heart and your lungs.

They have any suspects?

Yes and no.

Yes, anybody who
was at the country club

could have done it.

No, they have no idea who did.

Par for the course.

Well, I'm as
confused as they are.

It's one thing for most
of the town to snub me...

Yeah, but not to snuff you.

It could be the same
person who killed Alan.

Only, we're not sure
that that was a murder.

Is there anything else
that you can tell us,

Anything at all unusual,
that might have happened

in the last couple of weeks?

- The watch.
- What watch?

The gold pocket watch
that Alan's dad gave him

maybe 20 years ago.

It was very expensive.

What about it?

- It's missing.
- Ah.

I know Alan had a
strong attachment to it,

and I wanted him
to be buried with it.

Do you think it was stolen?

The house never looked
like it was broken into,

but what else could
have happened to it?

[cuckooing]

[door bell chiming]

I'll get one of them.

Tell me something.

You ever consider
taking that bird out

and wringing its neck?

Many times.

- Hi.
- Hi.

I just stopped by to
see how Sherry is.

Well, she's feeling a
little rocky right now.

I would think she'd
be feeling kind of dead

if you hadn't stopped her from
drinking that poison last night.

I guess so.

Look, I know who you
are and why you're here.

My name is Swan and
I'm here to play tennis.

I also know that
you and your brother

tried to see Warren
Leeds yesterday.

Unsuccessfully.

No comment.

I don't like Warren Leeds

and I don't really want
his kind in this community.

If you want to talk to him
about Alan's death, I can help.

How?

He's very security-conscious.

Surrounds himself
with bodyguards.

So I hear.

But he does play golf.

And there he's
more approachable.

My son Steve's a caddy.

He can give you more
specific information.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

- Steve?
- Yeah?

- Hi.
- Hi.

I'm Andrew Swan. This
is my trainer, Dick Sloan.

Your mom said you'd willing to talk
to us for a bit about Warren Leeds.

Oh, yeah. That's right.

She also said to answer
questions, not to ask any.

[chuckles] Okay, first question.

You suppose you could
arrange for us to caddy for him?

No way.

He travels around with his own
personal caddies these days.

Yeah. I think I met them.

Okay, tell us a little bit
about Leeds' golf game.

When I used to caddy for him,

I remember he had
a pretty nasty slice.

A slice, not a hook?

No. Definitely a slice.

Okay, let's see.
Is he right-handed?

Um, yeah, yeah.

He always had a lot of
problems on 3, 5, 7, and 10.

3, 5, 7, and 10.

Is that what I think it is?

- What, this?
- May I?

Sure.

"To Alan on his 13th
birthday. Love, Dad."

I think this belonged
to Alan Dayton.

Well, yeah.

How'd you come by it, Steve?

It was really strange, you know?

The day after Mr. Dayton
died, I got it in the mail.

Don't ask me why he sent it.

It's not like I
admired it or anything.

I had never even seen it before.

It was really spooky getting
the watch like that, though.

I didn't tell anyone.

Well, look, give
it to Mrs. Dayton.

If she has any questions,
she can ask me.

Okay.

And, uh, if she wants
you to have the watch,

we'll see to it you get it back.

I got it in the mail,
just like I said.

Okay.

Thank you very much
for your time, Steve.

Yeah.

- Well?
- Well, what?

You believe him?

Yeah, I do believe him.

His story's too improbable
not to believe him.

But why would a guy send
an expensive watch like this

to somebody who was
almost a total stranger to him?

- Hold it!
- Hi, fellas.

Up in the air, come on.

Come on.

Let's see what we got.

We got us one .357 Magnum.

Let's see. One sap,
government issue.

What else you got
in here? Anything?

All right, that's good.

All right. Ready?

One, two, three.

Now, ah... [tsking]

Another .357.

You guys like the
same caliber, huh?

What else we got here?

Uh-huh. Brass knucks.
You know that's cheating.

Oh, by the way, he
was in the carpet.

Thank you very
much for not shooting.

I do appreciate it.

Very nice work, boys.

[Rick] Well, let's see,
now. I think the, uh...

Yeah, yours was this
.357 Magnum, right?

And your... You had the, uh...

The big one with the chrome,
and the sap I think is yours.

You get the brass
knuckles, right?

Oh, right, right, right.

Still owe you one. There's mine.

Okay. Everybody square?

So much for security.

Mr. Leeds, we were hoping
we could have a word with you.

Well...

I guess I'll have to deal
with these gentlemen myself.

[chuckles, clears throat]

All right, gentlemen, I'll
answer your questions.

Hey, look, I'm
a very nice fella.

Ask anybody...
Miami, Detroit, Vegas.

You got two minutes.

We're investigating the
death of Alan Dayton.

- So?
- So, according to his wife,

you were with him the
afternoon before he died.

And according to his wife,
the two of you quarreled.

We need to know what
the quarrel was about.

Is there any reason
why I should answer that?

Is there any reason
why you shouldn't?

[Leeds laughs]

No, you're right. There isn't.

When I quarrel with someone,
it's usually about money.

This was no exception.

Could you be a
little more specific?

Well, I had backed him
and a few of his record deals.

He always paid me off,
and he figured I'd do it again.

He was wrong.

Why not?

Alan Dayton didn't
meet my standards

of credit worthiness.

He was an empty shell.

Alan Dayton was broke.

What?

Come on.

The man made hit records.

But it wasn't enough.
He wanted more.

See, he always financed
his future projects

by borrowing on
his present ones.

Now, when you rob
Peter to pay Paul,

the time comes when
Peter doesn't got...

and Paul starts hollering.

You're saying the
whole thing was a front?

The house, the
cars, the jet, the...

Mortgaged, re-mortgaged,
leased, borrowed.

Everything a ruse.

Take it from an expert.

The man was worth
more dead than alive.

Oh-ho, not to me, though.

What does that mean?

The only thing he
had that was paid for

was a half-million-dollar
term life insurance policy.

And you can't borrow on that.

His wife, gentlemen...

His wife was the only one
who benefited from his death.

Oh, by the way, I
didn't poison her

in case that was
your next question.

Yeah. I had nothing
to gain from it.

Interview's over.

Uh, Mr. Leeds,

you were with Alan
just before he jumped.

So were a lot of
people. So what?

I know. I just...

Was he wearing his glasses?

He always wore them,
under his goggles.

Had to.

He was blind as a bat.

Was Dayton wearing his glasses?

If so...

If so, how'd they
wind up on the ground

with his goggles
still on his head?

Exactly.

And do you believe
he died broke?

There's no reason for
Leeds to lie about that.

Mr. Swan?

[Rick whistles]

What?

Yes. Mr. Swan.

I believe I have your
court assignment here.

Oh. Great.

See the record I
made up for you,

they'll probably stick
you out on the back 40

with some old geezer from Oxnard

who plays every other weekend.

I hope so.

Here it is. You'll
be in center court.

- Isn't that great?
- Thank you.

Thank you very much.

- Romaine Vlad?
- Yeah.

He's evidently one of those
Iron Curtain players, you know,

from one of those countries,
they still make their own rackets.

Wood, cat gut. Very backward.

Center court with Romaine Vlad?

Yeah.

Did you know it
was Romaine Vlad?

Well, I saw his name
on the draw sheet.

He sounds like some guy
who eats a lot of veal cutlets.

- Big deal.
- They call him
"Vlad the Impaler."

He's got a smashing serve,
a deadly ground game,

and he beat Connors in Belgrade.

Connors who?

He beat Lendl in Johannesburg.

They say he's the
reason Borg retired.

Eh, they'll say anything.

He doesn't look too tough to me.

You knew all along
who he was, didn't you?

Well, yeah, I kind of knew.

I just didn't want you worried.

Worry?

What about public humiliation?

Hey, come on, A.J.
You can take this guy.

- Just make him run.
- Run?

- Yeah.
- Look at him!

He ran McEnroe into the
ground. The man runs like a deer.

Yeah, well, maybe not today.

Have you seen
Sherry around here?

She was supposed to be here...

Oh, that's great. Yeah.

You want everybody
to see this, don't you?

Why don't you call Mom?
Maybe some of your friends?

No, they don't have
to be here to see you.

What do you mean?

The tape's going to be
all over the news tonight.

Ooh, look. One
of those is network.

Oh, cr... Oh!

- Hey, A.J., come on.
- Oh.

All you got to do is
keep the ball in play.

You can take
this guy, all right?

Come on, now, relax.

Here. Here's your racket.

- [sighs]
- Take your racket.

No, no. Shake
hands with it. All right?

You're going to be
fine. You can take him.

Just keep him moving, all right?

Have a nice day.

[water running]

[gasps]

Advantage Mr. Swan.

[crowd cheering]

Mr. Swan leads three
games to two, first set.

[cheering]

Great work, A.J.
Just keep it up.

All you got to do is
break his serve once.

- That's all?
- That's it.

So far, I haven't been
able to see his serve.

Yeah, well, he's
going to lose the edge

off of that hard wind
any minute now.

Believe me, I know. Go get him.

[sighs]

Mr. Vlad serves.

15-love.

Mr. Sloan,
telephone call for you.

Oh, thank you.

Uh!

[ball hits fence]

30-love.

- Hello?
- Hi, Rick. It's Lisa.

Oh, hi.

I thought you might be
worried about Sherry.

- Yeah, I am.
- [ball served, hits fence]

40-love.

Sherry thought you might be.

She's awfully depressed.

I think she's taking a
ride out in the country.

She may be going
to visit Alan's grave.

She's going to
miss A.J.'s match.

I know, and she
promised to be there.

She asked me to come
over and explain, but...

[cuckooing]

but I was busy
here at the office.

Um, no, that's okay, Lisa.

Thanks for calling
to let me know.

That's okay. Bye-bye.

[Umpire] Game to Mr. Vlad.

Games are 3 all, first set.

[Woman] Santa Lea Register.

Yeah, Lisa Bannon, please?

She's not in. Can
anyone else help you?

Uh, no.

What time did she
leave the office?

She didn't come in today.

Can I take a message for her?

No. No message. Thank you.

- Here you go. Thanks.
- Sure.

15-love.

[Rick whistles]

Listen, A.J., I'm going to
have to take off, all right?

You just keep this guy moving.
Everything's going to be fine.

Wait, hey, hey. What's wrong?

Mr. Swan, please.

Something just came up.

I don't feel very good about it.

Sherry didn't show
up and I don't much like

the explanation I just got
about where she went, okay?

- But just...
- No. Hey, wait.

If something's wrong
with Sherry, we both go.

- How?
- Mr. Swan, you'll have
to serve now or default.

Look, A.J., I can handle
this thing by myself, all right?

You got a real shot
at this. Go for it.

Mr. Swan.

I default.

Sorry, Romaine. See
you at Wimbledon.

[grunts]

[tires screeching]

[Rick] You really didn't have

to bail out of the
match like that.

You could have taken him.

[A.J.] Hey, we're
in this together.

Okay, what have you got?

- I got a call from Lisa.
- Yeah?

[Rick] She said Sherry wasn't
going to make it to the match.

She was going to go for a drive.

- So?
- And then Lisa said

she was calling from her office.

[A.J.] That's it?

[Rick] No. The
cuckoo clock is it.

- The cuckoo clock?
- Don't you remember
the cuckoo clock?

- Remember the cuckoo...
- Rick, sometimes I don't
think about cuckoo clocks...

[Rick] The cuckoo
clock in Sherry's house!

Lisa was calling
from Sherry's house.

- [A.J.] That's it?
- [tires screech]

And that's it?

Just because you heard a
cuckoo clock, you pulled me...

I didn't pull you
out of anything.

- You volunteered to be here.
- I don't believe it!

Because of a cuckoo clock?

Lisa said she was in the office.

She was not in the office.

Just because of that, you
pulled me out of a match

where I am actually
beating Romaine Vlad?

- Put a cork in it, will ya?
- [door bell chimes]

Why didn't you
bother to call first?

I did. There was no answer.

Possibly because
there is nobody home.

Didn't anybody ever tell
you that you are paranoid?

- No, but I'm sure
somebody will.
- You are paranoid.

There I was, playing
the best game of my life...

Shut up. Shut up! Listen.

[engine running]

What is that?

Oh, my...

[car engine starts]

- Rick?
- Yeah, right here.

Easy up.

Now, watch your step
getting out of here.

Here you go.

Are you sure you don't
want to see a doctor?

No. I'll be all right.

Why would Lisa want to kill me?

We're hoping we'll find
some answers in here.

Sherry, did you know that Alan

was in some pretty
serious financial difficulties?

No. He always told
me everything was fine.

Ah.

Are you saying Alan was broke?

Well, if that were the case,

how do you suppose
he had handled it?

Not very well, I'm afraid.

Alan was an awfully proud man,

and he had this
terrible fear of failure.

As far as Alan was concerned,
the worst thing in life...

The worst... was to be a loser.

He wasn't a loser, was he?

No man who could
attract a woman like you

could ever be called a loser.

- Hey, Rick?
- Yeah.

Take a look at this.

Ah, Steve. It's Lisa's kid.

Or somebody who
looks a lot like him.

- It's not Steve, it's Alan.
- What?

When he was 18. A
paratrooper in Vietnam.

But you're right. It
does look like Steve.

Everyone always says that
Steve looks enough like Alan

to be his kid brother.

Or maybe just his kid?

What?

Alan's watch?

Steve had it.

He said that Alan sent it to him

a day or two
before the accident.

Almost as if Alan knew
he were going to die.

I think I'm beginning
to understand

about the glasses.

- Yeah.
- What glasses?

Alan's glasses.

He always wore them
underneath his goggles

when he parachuted.

I couldn't figure out

why the glasses were
on the ground next to him

while he still had
his goggles in place.

I'm beginning
to figure that out.

They didn't fall off.

He took them off
before he jumped.

So he wouldn't see the
ground rushing up at him.

Alan committed suicide.

Well, nobody
knows that for sure.

It...

But it does look that way, yes.

But why?

The only thing he had left was a
half-million-dollar life insurance policy.

The sad part is
that if it was suicide,

you're not eligible to collect.

I don't want it, anyway.

None of this explains
why Lisa tried to kill her.

I got a good way to find out.

Let's go ask her.

Another drink, Mrs. Bannon?

Yes, Dave. Please.

The caddy master said
you wanted to see me.

Oh, Steve.

Steve, I love you very much.

You called me from
work to tell me that?

Sometimes...

Sometimes, when a
person loves someone,

they do things that
are not real... real...

Mom, what's wrong?

Please go back to work.

Mom, do you mind telling
me what's the matter?

Steve, please go
back to work now.

Why, Lisa?

You know about Steve.

They figured it out.

But that still doesn't tell me
why you tried to murder me.

Doesn't it?

The way the law is structured,

with you gone,

Steve becomes the
sole legitimate heir.

Alan married you, Sherry.

I was the mother of his child.

You should have told me.

I didn't have to.

When he was alive, Alan
sent me money for Steven.

With Alan dead, and
you inheriting his fortune...

I couldn't let that
happen to Steve.

Don't you see?

No, I don't see.

And how did you think
you'd ever get away with it?

I don't think she
really wanted to.

[sighs]

Lisa, you started off
buying Propaxamine.

That can be traced to you.

So then, you go
for a phony suicide,

only your intended victim
is going to be bruised

from where you clobbered her.

And I'll bet you
left fingerprints

all over the house
and all over the car.

Now why would
you ever talk to us?

It's like the fire bug
who hangs around

to watch the fire.

Part of you wanted
to get caught.

I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry.

[sighs]

Talk about your supreme ironies.

Lisa tries twice to kill Sherry

so that Steve can
inherit an estate

that's totally worthless.

What'll happen to Lisa?

It's obvious she's a
pretty disturbed lady.

I think the courts will try to
help her rather than punish her.

You know, I'm not
really angry at her at all.

I feel sorry for her.

You should tell
that to the courts.

It'll help her even more.

Which reminds me, I have
something here for you guys.

- No, put that away.
- No, you don't. Forget it.

We know you don't
have any money.

You cannot afford to pay us.

The fee? Of course
I can afford your fee.

Plus a fat bonus,
which you deserve.

- No, no.
- No.

Maybe Steve can use
something, but not us.

I've already taken
care of Steve.

I'm arranging a
$25,000 trust fund.

- Say what?
- Wait, wait.

Where's all this
money coming from?

We know Alan died broke.

When I called the insurance
company and told them

that we thought that Alan's
death might be a suicide,

they said that I was
eligible for a refund

of all the money that
Alan paid in premiums.

It came to over $75,000.

Hello. That's wonderful.

- But you still can't pay us.
- That's it.

Oh, hey. Hey, thanks, you guys.

- You can hug us.
- For everything

You can't pay us, though.

And if you're ever in the mood

for one of my
patented margaritas,

you know where to find it.

Let's go for a walk, huh?

That, little brother, is
what they call a lady.

Hiya, Vlad.

- What was that about?
- Nothing.

Hey, hey, hey.
Don't give me that.

- What did you do?
- Nothing.

I just, um...

bought you a little
insurance policy, that's all.

- You know.
- [sighs]

Okay, Rick.

Drop the other shoe.

Last night about 8:00,

I engaged our friend,
Romaine, in there

in a little tournament
of my own.

Shooters at 20 paces.

Can you believe that poor man

had never tasted
tequila in his whole life?

- You talk about your
underdeveloped nations.
- Hold it.

- What?
- Just hold it.

Do you mean to tell me that
the night before the match,

you got my opponent drunk?

Yeah.

What made you think I
couldn't compete on skill alone?

I've seen you play.

Come on, little brother.
Show a little gratitude.

- Grat... Gratitude?
- Gratitude?

- For what?
- Hey, you think it's easy

trying to out-drink a
deprived Hungarian?

- That son of a gun can drink.
- [groaning]

He's got a stomach...