Simon & Simon (1981–1989): Season 3, Episode 23 - The Disappearance of Harry the Hat - full transcript
While you've got your
eyes on those sunglasses,
the chick in the bikini's
got her eyes on you.
Oh, what a pleasant thought.
Oh, no.
- Don't let Gleason get away.
- [gunshot]
You lost Harry Gleason. I
want you to find him again.
Are you aware that Harry is
wanted by the NBI for treason?
Yes. That's part of the plan.
All right, hold it right there.
Harry, don't be stupid.
Hit him, now.
[gunshot]
Hey.
Out of the way.
♪♪ [theme music]
Get out and stay out.
And don't come back.
Hey, you.
[snores]
Hey, it's 11:45.
I say we give them 10
more minutes, okay?
Yeah, 10.
Wake me up.
[snores]
Ah!
Mr. Simon, it's me.
Harry Gleason. It's me.
Gleason, don't you ever, ever
sneak up on anybody like that again.
Do you hear me?
I'm sorry. I was just
trying to be cautious
to make sure she
wasn't still following.
Oh, no.
A.J.
A.J.
I'm okay.
You said someone
was following you.
I think she found me.
I think she did.
That was her.
Melinda.
My ex.
Wife.
She's trying to kill me.
I didn't think she'd follow
me all the way down here.
Sorry.
I take it you had a
pretty rocky divorce.
It's all pretty
complicated, really.
You see, Melinda's not well.
Obviously.
No, she's a perfectly
wonderful woman
in practically every way.
You just have to get to know
her. You don't understand.
Is she under psychiatric care?
When she'll go.
Her analyst figures
that she's taking her
latent violent hostilities
out on me. Something about
her father abandoning her.
Who knows, it's all malarkey.
I wouldn't say that.
I mean, she is pointing
trucks at people.
She needs to go inside, Harry.
Oh, no. No, she's
only that way with me.
Our marriage wasn't working.
We both knew that, but I
guess I really hurt her by leaving.
I don't want to be the
one to have her committed.
What do you want us to
do? We're not bodyguards.
No, no, I don't want bodyguards.
I want to eliminate the problem.
I want you to make me disappear.
All I'm saying, A.J.,
is there are times
when I wouldn't mind
disappearing myself.
You know, just bail out.
Start all over again.
Break the clutches
of the middle class
with all its clinging records
and rules and regulations.
You behind to your bookie again?
Look, I don't disagree.
In principle.
But all I'm saying is, before we
drop this guy down the rabbit hole,
I want to give him a
damn good going over.
I don't want to find
out after the fact
that we've helped a mass
murderer blow town, all right?
Does Harry Gleason
really strike you
as the bodies in
the basement type?
Excuse me, we're looking
for Melinda Gleason.
Right up there.
Uh-huh.
Thank you.
So Harry asked
you to just drop by
to make sure I'm
doing okay, huh?
Uh-huh.
That was nice of him.
How is Harry?
I haven't seen him for a while.
Oh, he's noticed you
several times recently.
Don't tell me he sold
you that song and dance
that I'm out to get him?
That man flatters himself that
he's oh, so important in my life.
Well, he's not.
No man ever has
been or ever will be.
Understand?
I guess that's
clear enough, yeah.
Wait, actually, I do
want you to tell Harry
where I was last night,
if he's so interested.
I had a gentleman caller.
We went for a
lovely, romantic dinner
in a restaurant by the bay.
Champagne.
Dancing.
And then...
And then, well,
I'll just leave that
to your imagination.
You tell Harry for me,
and you tell him to
stay out of my life.
So, thanks for dropping by.
If there's anything else
you want to ask me,
just whistle.
I'll be around.
A.J., the hair on the back
of your neck standing up?
Someone's going
completely out of her mind.
Out, but not in orbit.
Huh?
She knew we were
interested in last night.
We never mentioned it.
Hi. I'm looking for the manager.
Married or single?
I'm single.
Well.
I am Ms. Dawkins.
Kids in the neighborhood,
always fooling
around with my sign.
I do have a lovely
studio apartment.
Furnished. Perfect for you.
Actually, I'm not
looking to rent.
No, my company is
doing a background check
on one of your
tenants. Mr. Gleason.
It's looking very good for him.
I think he's going to get
that sailboat he wants.
I'm sure he's told
you all about it.
No, he hasn't.
He didn't?
No.
A sailboat?
Could we go in and
talk for a moment?
Why, most certainly.
Right this way, please.
Ms. Dawkins?
Yes, Dawkins.
Ms. Dawkins.
And what did you
say your name was?
Do you realize how boring Downtown
Brown's life would be without us?
I mean, look at this.
We've got a break-in
at a donut shop,
a hijacked shipment of goldfish,
and a public disturbance
at a place called
Rent-a-Dungeon.
Say what?
Let me see that.
Rent-a-Dungeon.
[Brown and A.J.]
Get out of my chair.
What is it, Town?
Find something in Harry's file?
Something serious, huh?
You know, I can
understand that you guys
have to take up with some
pretty unsavory characters.
And I don't shake up
easy, now do I, guys?
[Rick and A.J. speak at once]
Did I say anything when you guys
were considering taking
on Hacksaw Jack as a client?
Or Gregory the Mad Hypnotist?
No.
But this, this one's
got me worried.
Nothing.
Nothing?
Empty.
Nothing.
Harry Gleason is
clean. Untouched.
Rap sheet-wise,
the man's a virgin.
As I'm sure you're
aware, Mr. Corman,
the Society of
Conservative Accountants
is extremely particular in
regard to its new members.
Well, I can understand
your concern.
I would think it would
be very embarrassing
for a society of
conservative accountants
to be infiltrated
by left-wing riff-raff.
- Quite so.
- Exactly.
Now, according
to his application,
his annual salary is $29,194,
and he has been in your
employ just over 7 years.
Well, I'm quite sure
all of that is correct.
You see, although I take
an interest in Gleason,
I don't deal with him
on a day-to-day basis.
However, I do know that
he's tendered his resignation.
Resignation? Are you sure?
Oh, yes. I'm sure.
A week or so ago.
I think his last day is Friday.
Personal problems, I gather.
Not a problem with
corporate ideology, I hope?
Oh, no, no, no.
There's never any
question of Gleason's loyalty.
No, I think it's
something in his family.
Excuse me a minute.
Corman.
Did I ever remember to ask you
for a 741-K security
severance check
on Harry Gleason?
Oh, I did. All right. Thank you.
Sorry. Is there anything else?
This is a trifle delicate.
Is there anything
about Mr. Gleason
to suggest that he
warrants a security check?
Oh, no, it's a
matter of routine.
Security checks are a
way of life around here.
Most of our work is classified.
Well, you've been
very helpful indeed.
Thank you.
Oh, I hope that
Gleason's leaving
isn't going to dim his chances
of getting into your society.
He's always done excellent work.
Our members are
required to demonstrate
exceptional personal stability.
Gleason is leaving
a perfectly good job
after only 7 years.
Need I say more?
See if this sounds right to you.
Harry Gleason.
Timid.
Shy.
Bland.
Boring.
Boring.
Casper Milquetoast.
Few vices, few virtues.
No skeletons in the closet.
Closest relative, a third cousin
living in Beloit, Wisconsin.
No debts. No police record. No
reason for anyone to miss him,
if he should fall off
the face of the earth.
That's me.
Come on, Harry, don't get cute.
What about Audrey?
How'd you find out about her?
It's all here, Harry.
This is you,
itemized upon a table.
You didn't think we were
going to miss Audrey, did you?
The place you're putting her
up must be costing you a bundle.
She's worth it.
Audrey drove Melinda nuts,
but Audrey's the
only one I care about
in the whole world.
I was hoping...
No, Harry.
You cannot keep her.
I've had her since
she was a kitten.
I was hoping I could
leave her at the cat motel,
and then send for her
once everything got settled.
Harry, we can
make you disappear,
but only if you do it exactly
the way we tell you to.
We have to totally erase the
man who was Harry Gleason,
so you can start
over again fresh.
The slightest thread
left dangling from this life,
Melinda will just have
a couple of guys like us
find you in a matter of weeks.
We will take you right up to,
but not over, the legal limit.
Well, we... No.
We can make you disappear.
We can't get you a new ID.
No, but you can
do that for yourself.
There are a lot of ways
you can go about it.
Easiest way for you is
to get the birth certificate
of somebody who died as a child.
Somebody about your own age.
And from there, you
can build a new ID.
Get a driver's license,
social security card.
It's real easy.
I guess I can find a
new home for Audrey.
The rest doesn't
seem so difficult.
Ah!
Oh.
[blows whistle]
All right, students, roll out.
Rise and shine, Mr. Smith.
That's your name from now on.
This is the elements
of disappearance 101.
This morning, we are
covering 3 sections.
One, eliminating
the paper trail.
Two, physical appearance.
Three, settling into alias.
Are you ready, Harry?
Shoot.
There is no Harry
here, Mr. Smith.
You must remember that.
You will write on the
blackboard 100 times
"There is no Harry Gleason."
You can write,
can't you, mister?
Yes, sir.
Good. Only got
the one credit card.
Get rid of it.
Pay for everything with cash.
Cut off any phone service,
newspaper delivery,
bottled water, whatever.
Close your checking account
and your savings account.
Pay off all your loans.
How about my mail?
- Forget it.
- There isn't any mail.
Anything that comes
for Harry Gleason
is undeliverable,
because Harry Gleason
doesn't exist, right?
Right, Harry?
Yeah.
Who's Harry?
There we go. Good man.
You buy most of
your clothes at Sears?
That's good. Stick with
the big department stores.
Avoid any specialty shops where
they might remember your face.
Also, get some
different styles of clothes.
And no more name tags sewn in.
Hats. You always
seem to be wearing hats.
Yeah. It's sort of my trademark.
Melinda always
said I only wore one
because I don't have a
real personality of my own.
Who knows? Maybe she's right.
Uh, no. She's wrong.
And furthermore, we're
going to prove it to you.
From now on, no more hats.
Ah.
No.
So what do you do
for a living, John?
Ah, I'm an accountant.
Mm, how exciting.
[chuckles]
What's your sign?
[coughs]
I thought so. I'm a Libra.
Our signs are very
romantically aligned.
Are you from around here?
Oh, well, no.
Not originally.
Yeah, now, yes.
I grew up in Bakersfield
and went to school
in Sacramento.
Oh, no, no, no.
You grew up in Sacramento.
You went to school
in Bakersfield.
Oh, darn. I'm sorry.
I'm a little nervous here.
I've never tried to pick
up a girl in a bar in my life.
Not even on tape.
That's all right. I know
exactly how you feel.
You do?
Look, it's all right
to be nervous.
That's the whole point
of the stress simulation.
But you have got to concentrate.
You've got to keep
your life facts straight.
Now let's try it again.
All right, A.J.,
you be the girl.
Let's get a move on.
Bubbles got to have this back
in 20 minutes for show time.
Bubbles?
Bubbles.
Well, Mr. Smith,
your resume is quite impressive,
as are your
letters of reference.
Thank you.
Of course, we generally
make it a practice
to contact the last
employer via telephone,
just for verification.
I'm sure you don't
have any objection.
Well, in theory, no.
However, in this case,
it might be a little difficult.
You see, my company moved
their headquarters to London.
They asked me to go along,
but I'm not much on
fog on kippered herring.
That's nice.
Joke's a nice touch.
What joke?
I think you'll do, Mr. Smith.
I think you'll do very nicely.
Yeah, there we go.
Say goodbye.
Goodbye, Audrey.
And don't give Rick
and A.J. any trouble.
One of the kids in
the Terrible Twos
is probably going to want
her, but don't worry about it.
We'll hold out for
a nice little old lady.
Good.
Well, thanks, guys.
You've both been great.
You take care.
And don't keep in touch.
Harry?
Harry Gleason?
[door closes]
Better find a home for her quick
before Marlowe makes
a dinner out of her.
Don't worry. He was only joking.
I won't let Marlowe near you.
Mr. Corman?
It's me.
Mr. Corman, it's
me, Harry Gleason.
You probably won't recognize me,
wearing the disguise.
It worked. I disappeared.
We did it.
Harry.
I did it.
I pulled it off.
And there were a
couple of close calls, too.
It's all over now, Harry.
They'll have to take
me seriously now,
won't they, Mr. Corman?
We've always taken
you very seriously, Harry.
Where are they?
I mean, the top executives.
They were supposed
to take the files.
I mean, why didn't they show up?
Freeze, Gleason.
You're under
arrest for suspicion
of theft of national
defense secrets.
[bottles rattle]
Hey.
Oh, no.
Never mind him.
Don't let Gleason get away.
Hey, A.J.
Mm?
Rise and shine. We got company.
Hm?
Help you?
You damn well better.
I'm Agent Carl Lomax.
National Bureau of Intelligence.
So what's the deal?
You lost Harry Gleason.
I want you to find him again.
Right now.
Oh.
See the front
legs on this chair?
About an inch shorter
than the back legs.
Tilts you forward.
Tires you out.
It's an old trick.
No, I'm looking right at
your chair. The leg's even.
But on mine, they become
shorter on the right than on the left.
No, you're just shorter
on the right than on the left.
It means like
you're tilted forward.
Food in the cafeteria
here is just rotten.
Good.
Yeah, glad we skipped it.
How's your memory?
I forget.
Let's see, this Harry Gleason
that you keep talking about,
is he any relation to Jackie?
No, Sam Spade.
So you're a comedian?
You notice I'm not laughing.
Now listen,
I'm in no mood to tap
dance with you two.
We've been looking
for this man for a week.
And now, one of my best agents,
a guy I have liked and
worked with for 20 years,
was gunned down in an
alley this morning by Gleason.
You must be mistaken.
The Harry Gleason we know
couldn't tell one end
of a gun from another.
No?
Harry Gleason. 42. Myopic.
Brown hair. 5 foot 10.
Wears stupid hats.
Ex-wife, Melinda.
Until recently, employed by
the Wright-Stillman Corporation.
Boss, Robert Corman.
The guy you went
to visit the other day.
Yeah. We've already
talked to Corman.
He's the one who
discovered the theft.
Why didn't you just tell us that
when you brought us in?
I wanted to see
what you'd tell me.
I wanted a chance to wiggle
my fingers in your cover story
and see what I
found under my nails.
Cover story?
Yeah. It's been my experience
most enemy agents have one.
We are not agents,
and Harry Gleason...
The man is an accountant. Now
why would he want to shoot your guy?
Probably because
he stole a fair amount
of national defense secrets from
the Wright-Stillman Corporation.
You see, my guy
was trying to stop him
from selling them
to the other side.
Now, once again,
unless the idea of 10 to 20 for
accessory to murder and treason
appeals to you, where's Gleason?
Well, we don't really
know where he is.
No, we only met him,
what... Week or so.
Last week sometime.
What happened was,
he called us last
week sometime...
This guy has got the craziest
wife you'd ever want to meet.
You're not going
to believe this story.
This woman was loonier
than a joonie bug. She really is.
[groans]
When Lomax wiggles his fingers,
he doesn't fool around, does he?
Mm. I don't even want to imagine
what would happen if
he flexed his muscles.
I think my brain is
just totally exhausted.
Otherwise, some
of this would add up.
Uh-uh.
We weren't wrong.
Harry has been framed,
or he's been set up,
or it's a mistake, or something,
but there's no way
the guy's a killer.
Fine.
You're convinced. I'm convinced.
That leaves, let's see...
Lomax and the entire United
States intelligence community.
I'll work on it.
Piece of cake.
[meows]
Here, kitty, kitty.
Great. Stay on her.
I've got 2 teams
on Gleason's wife.
We can deal with
her any time we want.
The feds have just finished
their sweep through our files.
They're convinced Harry got away
with some pretty
sensitive material.
Good. Good. Then
we're almost home free,
except for Harry.
He's the only one that knows
that we have the real documents.
Damn, I don't know how
he got out of that alley alive.
Okay.
All right.
Who's going to
believe him, right?
He's too hot.
And we can make him even hotter.
What about those
two private detectives?
I'm not worried about them.
I know Lomax.
By now, he's
probably put the fear
of Uncle Sam's wrath
into both of them.
He's probably told them
in no uncertain terms
to stay out of it.
They won't come up
for air till next month.
I just wish we could move the
meeting place somewhere else.
There's no way to
reach the Russians.
They made it clear to me
there could be no
further communications.
I know it.
But Gleason wrote
that whole scenario.
He knows exactly
where we're going.
He's a frightened little man
on the run from every
cop in the country.
He can't tell anyone.
And if he does show up,
we'll take care of him there.
Believe me, Harry
Gleason's no problem.
Hi, boys.
You want wheels? You need them.
Hey, Birddog.
Your friends over there,
they want wheels too?
They're not very good, are they?
Oh, wrong.
They're so good, they
can afford to be bad.
While you got your eyes
on those sunglasses,
the chick in the bikini's
got her eyes on you.
Oh, what a pleasant thought.
And the guy with
a metal detector.
Been on your office since 6.
He took over from the
3 Chicanos with guitars
who sat out here all night.
I hope they were cuter.
You are good, Birddog.
You haven't lost your touch.
What do the jungle drums say?
They say get out of the jungle.
You boys stepped on
some pretty sore toes.
I'd like to meet
this Harry Gleason,
but I might not get
the chance, as I hear it.
That's how it's been
thoroughly explained to us, too.
This whole deal is hinky.
We know Gleason's no killer,
but we can't find him to help him,
because when we
find him, they find him.
If you hear anything.
Thanks.
Mm-hm.
Uh, why don't you take a
turn around the boardwalk?
Get your mind off your troubles.
Oh, yeah.
[whistles Hi, guys.
So long, guys.
Bill.
Bill.
Junk mail.
Junk mail.
Junk mail.
What's that?
It's a note from Birddog.
"Boys, thought you ought to know
your phones are tapped."
Great.
"This guy disappeared
himself pretty smooth,
but then, he don't know the
Birddog's back on the scent.
Oh, one thing I did
dig up. Gleason..."
[both] Bought? Bought.
"And registered a
.78 compact silver
with red and white
pinstripes about 3 weeks ago.
License number ZTQ769."
Why would Harry do that if
he was planning on leaving?
Why would Harry do any of
the things he's been doing?
True enough.
Hi.
Mr. Simon, I
have to talk to you.
I don't know where else to turn.
My Harry's missing.
Now there's a newsflash.
I don't know what...
Wait, wait, wait.
We...
Play a little music.
Oh, let them listen.
All of a sudden,
it's "my Harry"?
Oh, I'm sorry.
I realize you both
think I'm a lunatic.
No.
I don't really know
what I'm doing here,
or why I should
expect you to help me.
It's just that I'm so
worried about him.
All right, all right.
Calm down. Let's not worry
about who's crazy right now.
Why don't you just calm
down, take a deep breath,
and tell us what's going on.
All right.
You have to understand
something about Harry.
He's one of the
last true patriots.
He still believes in God,
the family and his
country, right or wrong.
Right. We'll accept that.
For the time being.
And I'm also assuming
that you already know
that he really
wasn't an accountant
down at Wright-Stillman.
No, we didn't know that.
What was he, some
kind of mad scientist?
No. Actually, he's
a systems analyst.
He specializes in
worst-case scenarios.
In what?
He takes sensitive data
collected from
all over the globe,
and uses it to mount
computer-generated scenarios
predicting potential
trouble spots
for U.S. interests.
Harry's a spook.
Well, only in the
broadest sense.
He's a logician
by training, really.
Anyway, a few weeks ago,
Harry discovered the potential
for a massive security leak,
but nobody would
do anything about it.
When you say nobody,
who are you talking about?
Plant security.
Harry got so frustrated,
he barged into the office of
his section chief, Mr. Corman.
He saw immediately
that Harry was right,
but there was nothing
he could do about it either
through normal channels.
Somehow, I get the feeling
this is where we came in.
Almost.
Corman and Harry concocted
an elaborate scenario.
Harry acted just like the agent,
stole the documents, and then he
disappeared the way you taught him.
We know about that. But
what are you saying here?
That all this is a sham?
Well, the material
Harry took was classified,
but it was worthlessly outdated.
He was only going to
use it to make his point.
Corman was to alert security
that top-secret
data had been taken,
and then a week later,
Harry was to show up
at a rendezvous with
red-faced top executives
who would finally
take him seriously.
Mm-hm. And you helped.
You faked the psychosis
and lead us down
the garden path.
He believed in it.
I mean, he made
me believe in it.
But you see, now
something is really wrong.
Harry called me right
after the rendezvous,
and he was all worked up.
He told me to go directly
this motel we both know,
and hide there until he
got back in touch with me.
Talk to no one.
But I haven't heard
from him since.
Melinda.
Are you aware that Harry is
wanted by the NBI for treason?
Yes. That's part of the plan.
Corman is going to explain it.
Well, he hasn't so far.
And that wouldn't explain
the murder, anyway.
Your Harry is on the books
for the murder of an
NBI agent yesterday.
What?
Real?
Let's go ask our
friends downstairs.
Would you excuse us
for just a moment, please?
All right, out of there, now.
Move, move.
[gasps]
Uh, sorry.
Ma'am, are you okay?
You sure you're all
right? You folks okay now?
Your hearts and everything?
Please, please.
Are you all right?
Hey, hey boys.
You see this?
Harry's car, right?
You got it.
His wife drove it here.
Sure you're okay now?
Okay.
Yeah, looks pretty
bad. Thank you.
These are the varsity
bomb boys you got out here.
They got the president's
special Secret Service team
flown down here
from Santa Barbara.
Looks like they're
keeping everybody out,
especially your
local lieutenant.
I understand they're
keeping you out.
Question is, who's
keeping them in?
From what I hear,
there's a bit of
a jurisdictional
dispute on this one.
So now you've got a
catfight on your hands?
Not on my hands.
When it comes to Harry Gleason
and Wright-Stillman and the NBI,
I'm just a grateful tax
payer like you guys.
All right, I'll tell you
what, grateful tax payer.
We'll buy you a cup of coffee,
you tell us about the bomb.
It was intended for her, right?
I mean, Birddog
just got unlucky?
That's what they think.
A pound of plastique
in the back seat.
They figure the detonator
was a mercury rocker switch.
Pretty sophisticated device.
No, it's not. It's a
pretty stupid device.
It killed the wrong
person, didn't it?
Why would somebody use
something like that, Town?
If you wanted to get the driver,
why not rig it to
the ignition switch?
Because to do that,
you take time to fool
around under the hood.
This thing, you just
drop in the back seat.
The driver gets
in, the car rocks,
a ghost is born.
Except Birddog got there first.
He shouldn't have gone that way.
Who should?
Whoever did this.
I'll agree with you
there, but you got to quit
trying to blame
this one on the suits.
We got to pin it on someone,
Town, and it's not Harry.
Harry's just an
all-American boy.
He smelled something
wrong with his company,
tried to do something about it,
and they set
him up for the kill.
Uh-huh. Who did?
We're working on that.
Uh-huh.
Hi.
Hi.
Feeling better?
Yes, thank you, Lieutenant.
I'm over the shakes, at least.
But we still have to find Harry.
How do you take it?
I'll pass on the Simons'
coffee, thank you.
Give me that. Thank you.
Watch out for Lomax
and his NBI apes.
Those guys would like to make
you pay for the Bill of Rights.
Thanks, Town.
Thank you.
Look what Town
found in the wreck.
Is it yours?
No. Harry's.
I guess he lost it in the car.
He has a couple of them.
One on a necklace, too.
Harry's diabetic?
Yeah.
Didn't you know that?
No.
We checked him every which way
for something illegal.
We never thought
he'd lie about his health.
We had him cancel
his health insurance,
tell his doctor he
was going abroad.
How often does he need insulin?
Every day, by injection.
And he has to have
a doctor in his pocket.
He couldn't cut
himself off completely.
Yeah.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hey, hey, hey. Hey.
Phone's tapped, remember?
Oh, no it isn't.
You forgot who I work for.
Harry told me to
watch your lines.
I found it while
you were outside.
Excuse me.
Look at this.
Hi, Allan?
This is Melinda. Do me a favor
and check last month's
billing on a Harry Gleason.
That's right. My husband.
A.J., I'm going to
slow up all of a sudden
while you check out
this school bus behind us.
It's been following
us for 5 or 6 miles.
[groans]
Yeah, it was a
school bus, all right.
Hi.
Hello. We'd like to
see Dr. Whitower.
I'm sorry, he's not here.
He's in surgery all afternoon.
Oh, well, maybe you can help us.
One of his patients,
Harry Gleason,
has he been to see the
doctor in the last few days?
Um, look, I'm just part-time.
If you'll come back to
the office tomorrow, I'm...
You could just check
Harry's file for us.
Oh, I couldn't do that.
Not without the
doctor's permission.
Oh, no, oh, no. I don't
know what we're going to do.
Oh, no.
How are we... How are we...
How are we going to find Harry?
Remember now, deep breaths.
Deep breaths.
Just don't let it start.
Uh, don't let what start?
Subdural neural discharge.
It's an electrical spasm.
I can't stop it.
Oh, no. Oh, oh, oh.
You're a nurse. I
don't have to tell you.
I'm not a nurse!
I just send out reminder
cards. Oh, my God.
I can't believe this is how it's going
to end for him, in a doctor's office.
End?
Okay. Okay.
How about if I call the
doctor's service at the hospital?
How much time do you
think we got here, lady?
There's only a certain amount
of electricity in one brain.
- When that's gone, pft.
- [jitters and moans]
How about the paramedics?
What good do you
think they're going to do?
I don't know.
Castor oil. A big
dose of castor oil.
That's what Mama always used.
Okay. I think I can
get some of that.
Then go, go, go.
Going. Going.
[groans and spasms]
[moans continue]
[fake moans continue]
Gleason, Gleason, Gleason.
Gleason. Here, Gleason.
[continues fake moans]
Please don't die.
Why Long Beach?
Harry never said
anything about Long Beach
in connection with
Corman or the plan?
Uh-uh.
All right, let's put ourselves
in Harry's place for a minute.
You're cornered. You
know the only way out of it
is to keep the real thief from
passing the secrets, right?
Right. Maybe he has an idea
that the exchange is going to take
place someplace in Long Beach.
It's a big city, A.J.
I know that.
It couldn't be.
It couldn't be what?
Well, I told you Harry specialized
in worst-case scenarios.
According to Harry,
this kind of scenario
would usually wind up at
some large public place,
like an amusement park
or a baseball stadium or...
Let's see. Disneyland
is in Anaheim.
Dodger Stadium. Chavez Ravine.
- The Spruce Goose.
- The what?
The Spruce Goose.
He was here in Long
Beach the day it opened.
Harry's this Howard Hughes nut.
[laughs]
Gosh, you know, he
even tracked down
a Wright-Stillman project
from the '40s to buy the plane,
but Hughes wouldn't sell.
Well, if Harry's anywhere
around the plane,
he ought to be
easy enough to spot.
Especially with all this help.
[whistles]
We'll be closing in
less than an hour, sir.
I can tell time. Just
sell me the ticket.
Hi, guys.
Hi, guys.
All right. Hit them, now.
You old enough to have
a license for that thing?
Come on in. Sit down.
Make yourself at home.
You know, I don't remember
sending you
invitations to this party.
Gee, I didn't think
we were crashing.
Just as a matter of
professional interest,
how did you manage to be in front
of us and behind us at the same time?
We didn't make up our minds we
were coming here until 10 minutes ago.
Oh, you like that maneuver, huh?
- Mm.
- Well, tell me.
How is it you
happened to get the urge
to see a great big plane
this particular afternoon?
We think Harry
might be hiding inside.
Isn't that why you're here?
No, no. I'm here keeping
tabs on two attaches
from the Russian
consulate in San Francisco.
Are you expecting an exchange?
Uh-huh.
So Harry Gleason's here, too?
Look, I swear to you,
Harry is not a foreign agent.
No, probably not.
But somebody is.
When did you take Harry
off the top of your list?
It was the bomb in her car.
It didn't make any sense
for Harry to try and kill you.
You weren't any threat to him.
No.
The only one she's
a threat to would be...
Corman.
Who also happens
to be here today.
Well, well.
Very interesting.
You see, it starts
to look like Gleason
was supposed
to die in that alley,
right beside my man.
Now, the only witness
would be Robert Corman.
We'd never get the stuff back,
but Harry'd get blamed.
Hey, what are you
doing? You stay here.
But Harry'll be terrified.
I can maybe spot
him or help him.
We can do it a lot better
without you. Come on.
Please, please just trust me.
Stay here, all right?
Keep an eye on
her, will you, Father?
[speaks in Russian]
Good grief.
What plane?
I guess you could call
Howard a placker, could you.
You can't take your eyes off it.
Who's going to notice a little
spy deal going down in the corner?
All right, hold it right there.
And don't think
I can't use this.
I got a marksmanship
medal in the Army.
Harry, don't be stupid.
You're a clerk.
Put the gun down.
You can't get away with this.
You're the one that's
stupid, Mr. Corman.
And the traitor.
[gunshot]
Out of the way, out of the way.
Excuse me.
All right, come on, Harry.
You got him started.
Now finish him off.
That was real good, Harry.
Yeah, not bad.
Harry, Harry.
Harry.
Hey, Harry.
Tell me something.
Why'd you stay out?
Why not come in
and ask for help?
How could he know who to trust?
Well, that's partly it.
I just didn't want
anyone to get hurt.
I owe everybody a lot of thanks,
especially for taking
care of Melinda.
Well, you take care
of her from now on, pal.
And no more cloak and dagger.
Oh, I don't know.
Gleason did a hell of a job.
If you're interested in
being an NBI field agent,
maybe I could
pull a few strings.
Uh, no, no.
Compiling worst-case
scenarios is bad enough.
Having lived through
one makes it sure for me
that I never want
to do that again.
I'm glad it's over.
And as for you
two, well, uh, thanks.
Thanks a lot.
Any time.
Next time, the
party's at our place.
Hey. You're lucky we found you.
You guys made
it look pretty easy.
That's cause you didn't do it
the way we told you to do it.
We told you not to leave
one thread dangling.
What did you do?
You left a thread.
Maybe I left it
dangling on purpose.
No one wants to
disappear completely.
Closed-Captioned By J.R.
Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA
eyes on those sunglasses,
the chick in the bikini's
got her eyes on you.
Oh, what a pleasant thought.
Oh, no.
- Don't let Gleason get away.
- [gunshot]
You lost Harry Gleason. I
want you to find him again.
Are you aware that Harry is
wanted by the NBI for treason?
Yes. That's part of the plan.
All right, hold it right there.
Harry, don't be stupid.
Hit him, now.
[gunshot]
Hey.
Out of the way.
♪♪ [theme music]
Get out and stay out.
And don't come back.
Hey, you.
[snores]
Hey, it's 11:45.
I say we give them 10
more minutes, okay?
Yeah, 10.
Wake me up.
[snores]
Ah!
Mr. Simon, it's me.
Harry Gleason. It's me.
Gleason, don't you ever, ever
sneak up on anybody like that again.
Do you hear me?
I'm sorry. I was just
trying to be cautious
to make sure she
wasn't still following.
Oh, no.
A.J.
A.J.
I'm okay.
You said someone
was following you.
I think she found me.
I think she did.
That was her.
Melinda.
My ex.
Wife.
She's trying to kill me.
I didn't think she'd follow
me all the way down here.
Sorry.
I take it you had a
pretty rocky divorce.
It's all pretty
complicated, really.
You see, Melinda's not well.
Obviously.
No, she's a perfectly
wonderful woman
in practically every way.
You just have to get to know
her. You don't understand.
Is she under psychiatric care?
When she'll go.
Her analyst figures
that she's taking her
latent violent hostilities
out on me. Something about
her father abandoning her.
Who knows, it's all malarkey.
I wouldn't say that.
I mean, she is pointing
trucks at people.
She needs to go inside, Harry.
Oh, no. No, she's
only that way with me.
Our marriage wasn't working.
We both knew that, but I
guess I really hurt her by leaving.
I don't want to be the
one to have her committed.
What do you want us to
do? We're not bodyguards.
No, no, I don't want bodyguards.
I want to eliminate the problem.
I want you to make me disappear.
All I'm saying, A.J.,
is there are times
when I wouldn't mind
disappearing myself.
You know, just bail out.
Start all over again.
Break the clutches
of the middle class
with all its clinging records
and rules and regulations.
You behind to your bookie again?
Look, I don't disagree.
In principle.
But all I'm saying is, before we
drop this guy down the rabbit hole,
I want to give him a
damn good going over.
I don't want to find
out after the fact
that we've helped a mass
murderer blow town, all right?
Does Harry Gleason
really strike you
as the bodies in
the basement type?
Excuse me, we're looking
for Melinda Gleason.
Right up there.
Uh-huh.
Thank you.
So Harry asked
you to just drop by
to make sure I'm
doing okay, huh?
Uh-huh.
That was nice of him.
How is Harry?
I haven't seen him for a while.
Oh, he's noticed you
several times recently.
Don't tell me he sold
you that song and dance
that I'm out to get him?
That man flatters himself that
he's oh, so important in my life.
Well, he's not.
No man ever has
been or ever will be.
Understand?
I guess that's
clear enough, yeah.
Wait, actually, I do
want you to tell Harry
where I was last night,
if he's so interested.
I had a gentleman caller.
We went for a
lovely, romantic dinner
in a restaurant by the bay.
Champagne.
Dancing.
And then...
And then, well,
I'll just leave that
to your imagination.
You tell Harry for me,
and you tell him to
stay out of my life.
So, thanks for dropping by.
If there's anything else
you want to ask me,
just whistle.
I'll be around.
A.J., the hair on the back
of your neck standing up?
Someone's going
completely out of her mind.
Out, but not in orbit.
Huh?
She knew we were
interested in last night.
We never mentioned it.
Hi. I'm looking for the manager.
Married or single?
I'm single.
Well.
I am Ms. Dawkins.
Kids in the neighborhood,
always fooling
around with my sign.
I do have a lovely
studio apartment.
Furnished. Perfect for you.
Actually, I'm not
looking to rent.
No, my company is
doing a background check
on one of your
tenants. Mr. Gleason.
It's looking very good for him.
I think he's going to get
that sailboat he wants.
I'm sure he's told
you all about it.
No, he hasn't.
He didn't?
No.
A sailboat?
Could we go in and
talk for a moment?
Why, most certainly.
Right this way, please.
Ms. Dawkins?
Yes, Dawkins.
Ms. Dawkins.
And what did you
say your name was?
Do you realize how boring Downtown
Brown's life would be without us?
I mean, look at this.
We've got a break-in
at a donut shop,
a hijacked shipment of goldfish,
and a public disturbance
at a place called
Rent-a-Dungeon.
Say what?
Let me see that.
Rent-a-Dungeon.
[Brown and A.J.]
Get out of my chair.
What is it, Town?
Find something in Harry's file?
Something serious, huh?
You know, I can
understand that you guys
have to take up with some
pretty unsavory characters.
And I don't shake up
easy, now do I, guys?
[Rick and A.J. speak at once]
Did I say anything when you guys
were considering taking
on Hacksaw Jack as a client?
Or Gregory the Mad Hypnotist?
No.
But this, this one's
got me worried.
Nothing.
Nothing?
Empty.
Nothing.
Harry Gleason is
clean. Untouched.
Rap sheet-wise,
the man's a virgin.
As I'm sure you're
aware, Mr. Corman,
the Society of
Conservative Accountants
is extremely particular in
regard to its new members.
Well, I can understand
your concern.
I would think it would
be very embarrassing
for a society of
conservative accountants
to be infiltrated
by left-wing riff-raff.
- Quite so.
- Exactly.
Now, according
to his application,
his annual salary is $29,194,
and he has been in your
employ just over 7 years.
Well, I'm quite sure
all of that is correct.
You see, although I take
an interest in Gleason,
I don't deal with him
on a day-to-day basis.
However, I do know that
he's tendered his resignation.
Resignation? Are you sure?
Oh, yes. I'm sure.
A week or so ago.
I think his last day is Friday.
Personal problems, I gather.
Not a problem with
corporate ideology, I hope?
Oh, no, no, no.
There's never any
question of Gleason's loyalty.
No, I think it's
something in his family.
Excuse me a minute.
Corman.
Did I ever remember to ask you
for a 741-K security
severance check
on Harry Gleason?
Oh, I did. All right. Thank you.
Sorry. Is there anything else?
This is a trifle delicate.
Is there anything
about Mr. Gleason
to suggest that he
warrants a security check?
Oh, no, it's a
matter of routine.
Security checks are a
way of life around here.
Most of our work is classified.
Well, you've been
very helpful indeed.
Thank you.
Oh, I hope that
Gleason's leaving
isn't going to dim his chances
of getting into your society.
He's always done excellent work.
Our members are
required to demonstrate
exceptional personal stability.
Gleason is leaving
a perfectly good job
after only 7 years.
Need I say more?
See if this sounds right to you.
Harry Gleason.
Timid.
Shy.
Bland.
Boring.
Boring.
Casper Milquetoast.
Few vices, few virtues.
No skeletons in the closet.
Closest relative, a third cousin
living in Beloit, Wisconsin.
No debts. No police record. No
reason for anyone to miss him,
if he should fall off
the face of the earth.
That's me.
Come on, Harry, don't get cute.
What about Audrey?
How'd you find out about her?
It's all here, Harry.
This is you,
itemized upon a table.
You didn't think we were
going to miss Audrey, did you?
The place you're putting her
up must be costing you a bundle.
She's worth it.
Audrey drove Melinda nuts,
but Audrey's the
only one I care about
in the whole world.
I was hoping...
No, Harry.
You cannot keep her.
I've had her since
she was a kitten.
I was hoping I could
leave her at the cat motel,
and then send for her
once everything got settled.
Harry, we can
make you disappear,
but only if you do it exactly
the way we tell you to.
We have to totally erase the
man who was Harry Gleason,
so you can start
over again fresh.
The slightest thread
left dangling from this life,
Melinda will just have
a couple of guys like us
find you in a matter of weeks.
We will take you right up to,
but not over, the legal limit.
Well, we... No.
We can make you disappear.
We can't get you a new ID.
No, but you can
do that for yourself.
There are a lot of ways
you can go about it.
Easiest way for you is
to get the birth certificate
of somebody who died as a child.
Somebody about your own age.
And from there, you
can build a new ID.
Get a driver's license,
social security card.
It's real easy.
I guess I can find a
new home for Audrey.
The rest doesn't
seem so difficult.
Ah!
Oh.
[blows whistle]
All right, students, roll out.
Rise and shine, Mr. Smith.
That's your name from now on.
This is the elements
of disappearance 101.
This morning, we are
covering 3 sections.
One, eliminating
the paper trail.
Two, physical appearance.
Three, settling into alias.
Are you ready, Harry?
Shoot.
There is no Harry
here, Mr. Smith.
You must remember that.
You will write on the
blackboard 100 times
"There is no Harry Gleason."
You can write,
can't you, mister?
Yes, sir.
Good. Only got
the one credit card.
Get rid of it.
Pay for everything with cash.
Cut off any phone service,
newspaper delivery,
bottled water, whatever.
Close your checking account
and your savings account.
Pay off all your loans.
How about my mail?
- Forget it.
- There isn't any mail.
Anything that comes
for Harry Gleason
is undeliverable,
because Harry Gleason
doesn't exist, right?
Right, Harry?
Yeah.
Who's Harry?
There we go. Good man.
You buy most of
your clothes at Sears?
That's good. Stick with
the big department stores.
Avoid any specialty shops where
they might remember your face.
Also, get some
different styles of clothes.
And no more name tags sewn in.
Hats. You always
seem to be wearing hats.
Yeah. It's sort of my trademark.
Melinda always
said I only wore one
because I don't have a
real personality of my own.
Who knows? Maybe she's right.
Uh, no. She's wrong.
And furthermore, we're
going to prove it to you.
From now on, no more hats.
Ah.
No.
So what do you do
for a living, John?
Ah, I'm an accountant.
Mm, how exciting.
[chuckles]
What's your sign?
[coughs]
I thought so. I'm a Libra.
Our signs are very
romantically aligned.
Are you from around here?
Oh, well, no.
Not originally.
Yeah, now, yes.
I grew up in Bakersfield
and went to school
in Sacramento.
Oh, no, no, no.
You grew up in Sacramento.
You went to school
in Bakersfield.
Oh, darn. I'm sorry.
I'm a little nervous here.
I've never tried to pick
up a girl in a bar in my life.
Not even on tape.
That's all right. I know
exactly how you feel.
You do?
Look, it's all right
to be nervous.
That's the whole point
of the stress simulation.
But you have got to concentrate.
You've got to keep
your life facts straight.
Now let's try it again.
All right, A.J.,
you be the girl.
Let's get a move on.
Bubbles got to have this back
in 20 minutes for show time.
Bubbles?
Bubbles.
Well, Mr. Smith,
your resume is quite impressive,
as are your
letters of reference.
Thank you.
Of course, we generally
make it a practice
to contact the last
employer via telephone,
just for verification.
I'm sure you don't
have any objection.
Well, in theory, no.
However, in this case,
it might be a little difficult.
You see, my company moved
their headquarters to London.
They asked me to go along,
but I'm not much on
fog on kippered herring.
That's nice.
Joke's a nice touch.
What joke?
I think you'll do, Mr. Smith.
I think you'll do very nicely.
Yeah, there we go.
Say goodbye.
Goodbye, Audrey.
And don't give Rick
and A.J. any trouble.
One of the kids in
the Terrible Twos
is probably going to want
her, but don't worry about it.
We'll hold out for
a nice little old lady.
Good.
Well, thanks, guys.
You've both been great.
You take care.
And don't keep in touch.
Harry?
Harry Gleason?
[door closes]
Better find a home for her quick
before Marlowe makes
a dinner out of her.
Don't worry. He was only joking.
I won't let Marlowe near you.
Mr. Corman?
It's me.
Mr. Corman, it's
me, Harry Gleason.
You probably won't recognize me,
wearing the disguise.
It worked. I disappeared.
We did it.
Harry.
I did it.
I pulled it off.
And there were a
couple of close calls, too.
It's all over now, Harry.
They'll have to take
me seriously now,
won't they, Mr. Corman?
We've always taken
you very seriously, Harry.
Where are they?
I mean, the top executives.
They were supposed
to take the files.
I mean, why didn't they show up?
Freeze, Gleason.
You're under
arrest for suspicion
of theft of national
defense secrets.
[bottles rattle]
Hey.
Oh, no.
Never mind him.
Don't let Gleason get away.
Hey, A.J.
Mm?
Rise and shine. We got company.
Hm?
Help you?
You damn well better.
I'm Agent Carl Lomax.
National Bureau of Intelligence.
So what's the deal?
You lost Harry Gleason.
I want you to find him again.
Right now.
Oh.
See the front
legs on this chair?
About an inch shorter
than the back legs.
Tilts you forward.
Tires you out.
It's an old trick.
No, I'm looking right at
your chair. The leg's even.
But on mine, they become
shorter on the right than on the left.
No, you're just shorter
on the right than on the left.
It means like
you're tilted forward.
Food in the cafeteria
here is just rotten.
Good.
Yeah, glad we skipped it.
How's your memory?
I forget.
Let's see, this Harry Gleason
that you keep talking about,
is he any relation to Jackie?
No, Sam Spade.
So you're a comedian?
You notice I'm not laughing.
Now listen,
I'm in no mood to tap
dance with you two.
We've been looking
for this man for a week.
And now, one of my best agents,
a guy I have liked and
worked with for 20 years,
was gunned down in an
alley this morning by Gleason.
You must be mistaken.
The Harry Gleason we know
couldn't tell one end
of a gun from another.
No?
Harry Gleason. 42. Myopic.
Brown hair. 5 foot 10.
Wears stupid hats.
Ex-wife, Melinda.
Until recently, employed by
the Wright-Stillman Corporation.
Boss, Robert Corman.
The guy you went
to visit the other day.
Yeah. We've already
talked to Corman.
He's the one who
discovered the theft.
Why didn't you just tell us that
when you brought us in?
I wanted to see
what you'd tell me.
I wanted a chance to wiggle
my fingers in your cover story
and see what I
found under my nails.
Cover story?
Yeah. It's been my experience
most enemy agents have one.
We are not agents,
and Harry Gleason...
The man is an accountant. Now
why would he want to shoot your guy?
Probably because
he stole a fair amount
of national defense secrets from
the Wright-Stillman Corporation.
You see, my guy
was trying to stop him
from selling them
to the other side.
Now, once again,
unless the idea of 10 to 20 for
accessory to murder and treason
appeals to you, where's Gleason?
Well, we don't really
know where he is.
No, we only met him,
what... Week or so.
Last week sometime.
What happened was,
he called us last
week sometime...
This guy has got the craziest
wife you'd ever want to meet.
You're not going
to believe this story.
This woman was loonier
than a joonie bug. She really is.
[groans]
When Lomax wiggles his fingers,
he doesn't fool around, does he?
Mm. I don't even want to imagine
what would happen if
he flexed his muscles.
I think my brain is
just totally exhausted.
Otherwise, some
of this would add up.
Uh-uh.
We weren't wrong.
Harry has been framed,
or he's been set up,
or it's a mistake, or something,
but there's no way
the guy's a killer.
Fine.
You're convinced. I'm convinced.
That leaves, let's see...
Lomax and the entire United
States intelligence community.
I'll work on it.
Piece of cake.
[meows]
Here, kitty, kitty.
Great. Stay on her.
I've got 2 teams
on Gleason's wife.
We can deal with
her any time we want.
The feds have just finished
their sweep through our files.
They're convinced Harry got away
with some pretty
sensitive material.
Good. Good. Then
we're almost home free,
except for Harry.
He's the only one that knows
that we have the real documents.
Damn, I don't know how
he got out of that alley alive.
Okay.
All right.
Who's going to
believe him, right?
He's too hot.
And we can make him even hotter.
What about those
two private detectives?
I'm not worried about them.
I know Lomax.
By now, he's
probably put the fear
of Uncle Sam's wrath
into both of them.
He's probably told them
in no uncertain terms
to stay out of it.
They won't come up
for air till next month.
I just wish we could move the
meeting place somewhere else.
There's no way to
reach the Russians.
They made it clear to me
there could be no
further communications.
I know it.
But Gleason wrote
that whole scenario.
He knows exactly
where we're going.
He's a frightened little man
on the run from every
cop in the country.
He can't tell anyone.
And if he does show up,
we'll take care of him there.
Believe me, Harry
Gleason's no problem.
Hi, boys.
You want wheels? You need them.
Hey, Birddog.
Your friends over there,
they want wheels too?
They're not very good, are they?
Oh, wrong.
They're so good, they
can afford to be bad.
While you got your eyes
on those sunglasses,
the chick in the bikini's
got her eyes on you.
Oh, what a pleasant thought.
And the guy with
a metal detector.
Been on your office since 6.
He took over from the
3 Chicanos with guitars
who sat out here all night.
I hope they were cuter.
You are good, Birddog.
You haven't lost your touch.
What do the jungle drums say?
They say get out of the jungle.
You boys stepped on
some pretty sore toes.
I'd like to meet
this Harry Gleason,
but I might not get
the chance, as I hear it.
That's how it's been
thoroughly explained to us, too.
This whole deal is hinky.
We know Gleason's no killer,
but we can't find him to help him,
because when we
find him, they find him.
If you hear anything.
Thanks.
Mm-hm.
Uh, why don't you take a
turn around the boardwalk?
Get your mind off your troubles.
Oh, yeah.
[whistles Hi, guys.
So long, guys.
Bill.
Bill.
Junk mail.
Junk mail.
Junk mail.
What's that?
It's a note from Birddog.
"Boys, thought you ought to know
your phones are tapped."
Great.
"This guy disappeared
himself pretty smooth,
but then, he don't know the
Birddog's back on the scent.
Oh, one thing I did
dig up. Gleason..."
[both] Bought? Bought.
"And registered a
.78 compact silver
with red and white
pinstripes about 3 weeks ago.
License number ZTQ769."
Why would Harry do that if
he was planning on leaving?
Why would Harry do any of
the things he's been doing?
True enough.
Hi.
Mr. Simon, I
have to talk to you.
I don't know where else to turn.
My Harry's missing.
Now there's a newsflash.
I don't know what...
Wait, wait, wait.
We...
Play a little music.
Oh, let them listen.
All of a sudden,
it's "my Harry"?
Oh, I'm sorry.
I realize you both
think I'm a lunatic.
No.
I don't really know
what I'm doing here,
or why I should
expect you to help me.
It's just that I'm so
worried about him.
All right, all right.
Calm down. Let's not worry
about who's crazy right now.
Why don't you just calm
down, take a deep breath,
and tell us what's going on.
All right.
You have to understand
something about Harry.
He's one of the
last true patriots.
He still believes in God,
the family and his
country, right or wrong.
Right. We'll accept that.
For the time being.
And I'm also assuming
that you already know
that he really
wasn't an accountant
down at Wright-Stillman.
No, we didn't know that.
What was he, some
kind of mad scientist?
No. Actually, he's
a systems analyst.
He specializes in
worst-case scenarios.
In what?
He takes sensitive data
collected from
all over the globe,
and uses it to mount
computer-generated scenarios
predicting potential
trouble spots
for U.S. interests.
Harry's a spook.
Well, only in the
broadest sense.
He's a logician
by training, really.
Anyway, a few weeks ago,
Harry discovered the potential
for a massive security leak,
but nobody would
do anything about it.
When you say nobody,
who are you talking about?
Plant security.
Harry got so frustrated,
he barged into the office of
his section chief, Mr. Corman.
He saw immediately
that Harry was right,
but there was nothing
he could do about it either
through normal channels.
Somehow, I get the feeling
this is where we came in.
Almost.
Corman and Harry concocted
an elaborate scenario.
Harry acted just like the agent,
stole the documents, and then he
disappeared the way you taught him.
We know about that. But
what are you saying here?
That all this is a sham?
Well, the material
Harry took was classified,
but it was worthlessly outdated.
He was only going to
use it to make his point.
Corman was to alert security
that top-secret
data had been taken,
and then a week later,
Harry was to show up
at a rendezvous with
red-faced top executives
who would finally
take him seriously.
Mm-hm. And you helped.
You faked the psychosis
and lead us down
the garden path.
He believed in it.
I mean, he made
me believe in it.
But you see, now
something is really wrong.
Harry called me right
after the rendezvous,
and he was all worked up.
He told me to go directly
this motel we both know,
and hide there until he
got back in touch with me.
Talk to no one.
But I haven't heard
from him since.
Melinda.
Are you aware that Harry is
wanted by the NBI for treason?
Yes. That's part of the plan.
Corman is going to explain it.
Well, he hasn't so far.
And that wouldn't explain
the murder, anyway.
Your Harry is on the books
for the murder of an
NBI agent yesterday.
What?
Real?
Let's go ask our
friends downstairs.
Would you excuse us
for just a moment, please?
All right, out of there, now.
Move, move.
[gasps]
Uh, sorry.
Ma'am, are you okay?
You sure you're all
right? You folks okay now?
Your hearts and everything?
Please, please.
Are you all right?
Hey, hey boys.
You see this?
Harry's car, right?
You got it.
His wife drove it here.
Sure you're okay now?
Okay.
Yeah, looks pretty
bad. Thank you.
These are the varsity
bomb boys you got out here.
They got the president's
special Secret Service team
flown down here
from Santa Barbara.
Looks like they're
keeping everybody out,
especially your
local lieutenant.
I understand they're
keeping you out.
Question is, who's
keeping them in?
From what I hear,
there's a bit of
a jurisdictional
dispute on this one.
So now you've got a
catfight on your hands?
Not on my hands.
When it comes to Harry Gleason
and Wright-Stillman and the NBI,
I'm just a grateful tax
payer like you guys.
All right, I'll tell you
what, grateful tax payer.
We'll buy you a cup of coffee,
you tell us about the bomb.
It was intended for her, right?
I mean, Birddog
just got unlucky?
That's what they think.
A pound of plastique
in the back seat.
They figure the detonator
was a mercury rocker switch.
Pretty sophisticated device.
No, it's not. It's a
pretty stupid device.
It killed the wrong
person, didn't it?
Why would somebody use
something like that, Town?
If you wanted to get the driver,
why not rig it to
the ignition switch?
Because to do that,
you take time to fool
around under the hood.
This thing, you just
drop in the back seat.
The driver gets
in, the car rocks,
a ghost is born.
Except Birddog got there first.
He shouldn't have gone that way.
Who should?
Whoever did this.
I'll agree with you
there, but you got to quit
trying to blame
this one on the suits.
We got to pin it on someone,
Town, and it's not Harry.
Harry's just an
all-American boy.
He smelled something
wrong with his company,
tried to do something about it,
and they set
him up for the kill.
Uh-huh. Who did?
We're working on that.
Uh-huh.
Hi.
Hi.
Feeling better?
Yes, thank you, Lieutenant.
I'm over the shakes, at least.
But we still have to find Harry.
How do you take it?
I'll pass on the Simons'
coffee, thank you.
Give me that. Thank you.
Watch out for Lomax
and his NBI apes.
Those guys would like to make
you pay for the Bill of Rights.
Thanks, Town.
Thank you.
Look what Town
found in the wreck.
Is it yours?
No. Harry's.
I guess he lost it in the car.
He has a couple of them.
One on a necklace, too.
Harry's diabetic?
Yeah.
Didn't you know that?
No.
We checked him every which way
for something illegal.
We never thought
he'd lie about his health.
We had him cancel
his health insurance,
tell his doctor he
was going abroad.
How often does he need insulin?
Every day, by injection.
And he has to have
a doctor in his pocket.
He couldn't cut
himself off completely.
Yeah.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hey, hey, hey. Hey.
Phone's tapped, remember?
Oh, no it isn't.
You forgot who I work for.
Harry told me to
watch your lines.
I found it while
you were outside.
Excuse me.
Look at this.
Hi, Allan?
This is Melinda. Do me a favor
and check last month's
billing on a Harry Gleason.
That's right. My husband.
A.J., I'm going to
slow up all of a sudden
while you check out
this school bus behind us.
It's been following
us for 5 or 6 miles.
[groans]
Yeah, it was a
school bus, all right.
Hi.
Hello. We'd like to
see Dr. Whitower.
I'm sorry, he's not here.
He's in surgery all afternoon.
Oh, well, maybe you can help us.
One of his patients,
Harry Gleason,
has he been to see the
doctor in the last few days?
Um, look, I'm just part-time.
If you'll come back to
the office tomorrow, I'm...
You could just check
Harry's file for us.
Oh, I couldn't do that.
Not without the
doctor's permission.
Oh, no, oh, no. I don't
know what we're going to do.
Oh, no.
How are we... How are we...
How are we going to find Harry?
Remember now, deep breaths.
Deep breaths.
Just don't let it start.
Uh, don't let what start?
Subdural neural discharge.
It's an electrical spasm.
I can't stop it.
Oh, no. Oh, oh, oh.
You're a nurse. I
don't have to tell you.
I'm not a nurse!
I just send out reminder
cards. Oh, my God.
I can't believe this is how it's going
to end for him, in a doctor's office.
End?
Okay. Okay.
How about if I call the
doctor's service at the hospital?
How much time do you
think we got here, lady?
There's only a certain amount
of electricity in one brain.
- When that's gone, pft.
- [jitters and moans]
How about the paramedics?
What good do you
think they're going to do?
I don't know.
Castor oil. A big
dose of castor oil.
That's what Mama always used.
Okay. I think I can
get some of that.
Then go, go, go.
Going. Going.
[groans and spasms]
[moans continue]
[fake moans continue]
Gleason, Gleason, Gleason.
Gleason. Here, Gleason.
[continues fake moans]
Please don't die.
Why Long Beach?
Harry never said
anything about Long Beach
in connection with
Corman or the plan?
Uh-uh.
All right, let's put ourselves
in Harry's place for a minute.
You're cornered. You
know the only way out of it
is to keep the real thief from
passing the secrets, right?
Right. Maybe he has an idea
that the exchange is going to take
place someplace in Long Beach.
It's a big city, A.J.
I know that.
It couldn't be.
It couldn't be what?
Well, I told you Harry specialized
in worst-case scenarios.
According to Harry,
this kind of scenario
would usually wind up at
some large public place,
like an amusement park
or a baseball stadium or...
Let's see. Disneyland
is in Anaheim.
Dodger Stadium. Chavez Ravine.
- The Spruce Goose.
- The what?
The Spruce Goose.
He was here in Long
Beach the day it opened.
Harry's this Howard Hughes nut.
[laughs]
Gosh, you know, he
even tracked down
a Wright-Stillman project
from the '40s to buy the plane,
but Hughes wouldn't sell.
Well, if Harry's anywhere
around the plane,
he ought to be
easy enough to spot.
Especially with all this help.
[whistles]
We'll be closing in
less than an hour, sir.
I can tell time. Just
sell me the ticket.
Hi, guys.
Hi, guys.
All right. Hit them, now.
You old enough to have
a license for that thing?
Come on in. Sit down.
Make yourself at home.
You know, I don't remember
sending you
invitations to this party.
Gee, I didn't think
we were crashing.
Just as a matter of
professional interest,
how did you manage to be in front
of us and behind us at the same time?
We didn't make up our minds we
were coming here until 10 minutes ago.
Oh, you like that maneuver, huh?
- Mm.
- Well, tell me.
How is it you
happened to get the urge
to see a great big plane
this particular afternoon?
We think Harry
might be hiding inside.
Isn't that why you're here?
No, no. I'm here keeping
tabs on two attaches
from the Russian
consulate in San Francisco.
Are you expecting an exchange?
Uh-huh.
So Harry Gleason's here, too?
Look, I swear to you,
Harry is not a foreign agent.
No, probably not.
But somebody is.
When did you take Harry
off the top of your list?
It was the bomb in her car.
It didn't make any sense
for Harry to try and kill you.
You weren't any threat to him.
No.
The only one she's
a threat to would be...
Corman.
Who also happens
to be here today.
Well, well.
Very interesting.
You see, it starts
to look like Gleason
was supposed
to die in that alley,
right beside my man.
Now, the only witness
would be Robert Corman.
We'd never get the stuff back,
but Harry'd get blamed.
Hey, what are you
doing? You stay here.
But Harry'll be terrified.
I can maybe spot
him or help him.
We can do it a lot better
without you. Come on.
Please, please just trust me.
Stay here, all right?
Keep an eye on
her, will you, Father?
[speaks in Russian]
Good grief.
What plane?
I guess you could call
Howard a placker, could you.
You can't take your eyes off it.
Who's going to notice a little
spy deal going down in the corner?
All right, hold it right there.
And don't think
I can't use this.
I got a marksmanship
medal in the Army.
Harry, don't be stupid.
You're a clerk.
Put the gun down.
You can't get away with this.
You're the one that's
stupid, Mr. Corman.
And the traitor.
[gunshot]
Out of the way, out of the way.
Excuse me.
All right, come on, Harry.
You got him started.
Now finish him off.
That was real good, Harry.
Yeah, not bad.
Harry, Harry.
Harry.
Hey, Harry.
Tell me something.
Why'd you stay out?
Why not come in
and ask for help?
How could he know who to trust?
Well, that's partly it.
I just didn't want
anyone to get hurt.
I owe everybody a lot of thanks,
especially for taking
care of Melinda.
Well, you take care
of her from now on, pal.
And no more cloak and dagger.
Oh, I don't know.
Gleason did a hell of a job.
If you're interested in
being an NBI field agent,
maybe I could
pull a few strings.
Uh, no, no.
Compiling worst-case
scenarios is bad enough.
Having lived through
one makes it sure for me
that I never want
to do that again.
I'm glad it's over.
And as for you
two, well, uh, thanks.
Thanks a lot.
Any time.
Next time, the
party's at our place.
Hey. You're lucky we found you.
You guys made
it look pretty easy.
That's cause you didn't do it
the way we told you to do it.
We told you not to leave
one thread dangling.
What did you do?
You left a thread.
Maybe I left it
dangling on purpose.
No one wants to
disappear completely.
Closed-Captioned By J.R.
Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA