Silicon Valley (2014–…): Season 3, Episode 1 - Founder Friendly - full transcript

I just got fired.

And what about me?

What about you?

Okay. That's it.

I'm going over there right fucking now,

before they leave.

Erlich, I'm gonna use your car.

Jared, you call Ron LaFlamme,
tell him to meet me there.

Fuck these assholes!

Wait. Richard, I'm coming with you.

Here. Jared, clear this.



Get all the smoke out of it.

- Otherwise, it damages the device.
- Umm...

Don't be a pussy.

How could they do this?

How could they fire me
from my own company?

Just stay calm.
We're gonna fight this.

Jesus, Richard, slow down.

Stop, stop, stop!

Did I just hit a deer?

No, goddamn it!

Fucking Stanford Robotics.

Shit. Is this gonna make us late?

Oh! They killed the Bam-bot.

Fuck your Bam-bot!



You little Stanford cunts
fucked up my grille!

- Fucking piece of shit!
- Wait.

You little cunt!

- Fuck!
- Hey.

This one's for your mama.

Erlich, stop. Come on. Erlich,
we've got to get to Raviga.

Hey, no, no. Hey, hey, hey.

Thanks for coming, Ron.

I'd bail on spin class
any day for you, Richie.

Richard. Richard.

I kept calling, you weren't answering.

Talk to the hand, Monica.

Richard, can you stop?
I can explain, okay?

It's pretty self-explanatory, Monica.
You voted to fire me.

What the fuck?

I mean, there is no way I'm
letting you push me out of this.

Our intention is not to push you out.

We wish rather to transition you

to a more appropriate
role within the company.

A new CEO will be brought in to
manage day-to-day operations

while you assume the role of
Chief Technology Officer.

Congratulations.

CTO? Yes.

You want me to be an
employee at my own company?

You would still be in
charge of the engineering,

and you'd continue vesting your
shares, and keep your board seat.

The same seat I had an hour ago
when you voted to fire me as CEO?

- That came in handy.
- Richard, please.

I realize this may be bittersweet,
but earlier this evening

Raviga decided to officially
fund Pied Piper Series A Round

at $5 million at a $50
million valuation.

Essentially, you have created a company
that is too valuable for you to run.

You should feel good about that.

Are you kidding me? I
made the company, okay?

I'm the one who came up
with the name "Pied Piper."

Yeah.

Ron, can I have a word please?

They can't really do this, can they?

I think they just did.

You remember that shit deal
you brought me from Hanneman,

and I said, "Hey, Richie,
this is a shit deal,"

but you took it anyway

because you wanted to do something
crazy for once in your life?

Yes, I remember.

Well, you basically just loaded a
gun and handed it to Hanneman,

and Hanneman sold that gun to Raviga,

and then Raviga just fucking
pistol-whipped you.

But hey, at least they're letting you
keep your shares and your board seat.

You lose a little blood
with the dilution

for the new CEO, but I've seen worse.

Like that shit deal you
brought me from Hanneman.

If we give Richard a
little bit of space,

he'll be able to wrap
his head around this,

and a smooth transition to a
new CEO will be possible.

To wit, I served as the CEO of Aviat...

Mr. Bachman.

In the version of Pied Piper
in which I am invested,

you will not be CEO. Not now. Not ever.

Well, you, madam, are a
shrew of the first order.

Okay. I'm not gonna let you do this.

I'm gonna fight it.

I understand you're upset.

As you can see, this is a very
emotional time for me as well,

but we have some very strong candidates

coming in for the CEO position,

and we would so appreciate your input.

- My input?
- Mmm.

You want me to help you
pick my new replacement?

I'd rather quit.

And I don't care how much money I lose,

because I am gonna get it all back

when I sue the living shit out of you!

Okay. All right. All right.

Ron, let's go.

Sorry, I'm forced to inform you

that I can no longer provide
you with legal counsel.

What are you talking about?
You're my attorney.

No. Technically, I'm Pied
Piper's corporate counsel,

and you just declared
your intention to walk.

So, in effect, you kind of
just threatened to sue me,

and I don't take kindly to threats, Mr.
Hendricks.

"Mr. Hendricks"?

What happened to "Richie"?

Unfortunately, I'm not at
liberty to discuss him

with you either, Mr. Hendricks.

Richard, if I
didn't vote to remove you,

then Laurie would've
adjourned the meeting,

replaced my seat on the board
with someone else at Raviga,

and then they would've
voted to remove you.

At least this way, I'm
still in the game.

No. You mean, at least this
way, you kept your job.

At least the actual Judas had
the courtesy to kill himself

after betraying his
leader, Jesus Christ.

He's the CEO of the world.
Ever heard of him?

Yeah. Got it. Went to Catholic school.

Really? How long?

Look, I'm still on the
board of this company.

I'll be in all of the meetings.

Maybe I can be helpful at some point.

You wanna be helpful, Monica?

Convince Laurie to keep me on as CEO.

Look, I know I made some mistakes.
I wasn't perfect,

but I'll get better. I'll even
go to one of those CEO coaches,

like that guy at fucking Twitter.

Richard, it's done.

Laurie already found a new CEO.

What? Already?

You said that you didn't want to
be part of the interview process,

so they picked someone this morning.

Jack Barker. He's an incredibly
skilled, top-notch CEO.

I don't care who he is, okay?
None of us do.

"Action" Jack Barker?

Seriously? They picked that
gray-haired fossil over me?

You said you turned the job down.

I said it was mutual.

Oh.

What? That's accurate.

He ran Entercross Systems.

They IPO'ed in 1998 for more
than a billion dollars.

Yeah, 20 fucking years ago.

Tech 1.0. What has he done lately?

After that, he ran
Turnwire for four years

until it was acquired by
Microsoft for $2 billion.

Holy shit. This guy's a hitter.

He was, in the oughts. What's
he done in the 20-teens?

Looks like he started a foundation

in his mother's name to cure cancer.

Yeah, how's that going?

Yeah. I bet his mother's dead.

Yeah, that's probably why
he started the foundation.

Richard, Laurie's meeting
with him tomorrow.

You should come in and talk with him.

No fucking way.

Think this through. I
mean, you have to know

that you can't start another
compression company.

No VC will fund that out
of fear of being sued,

and unless you have
some totally different,

game-changing idea lying around...

So you're saying that
I'm fucked if I leave?

No, I'm saying that...

Okay. Well, then I guess I'm fucked,

because I'm out.

And when I leave, Jared's out,
Dinesh is out, Gilfoyle is out.

Everybody's out.

So good luck with the
company there, Monica.

It'll just be you, Laurie Bream,

and some fucking asshole who
can't even cure cancer.

He's right.

Where Richard goes, I go.

Monica, excuse how high I am,

but are the uniforms in Catholic
schools as low-cut as they are online?

Fuck off.

Did you tell Richard you were out?

No. Did you?

No.

Are we out?

Hmm.

Did Gavin tell you what this is about?

We haven't spoken in some time.

Thank you all for coming
on such short notice.

I have a difficult announcement to make.

We, in the tech business, often
refer to failure as a good thing.

Failure is growth.

Failure is learning.

But sometimes failure is just failure.

I think...

I'm sorry.

I didn't think it would be this hard.

But goodbyes are always hard,

especially when I am the
one saying goodbye.

Today, effective immediately,

I, Gavin Belson, founder
and CEO of Hooli,

am forced to officially say goodbye

to the entire Nucleus division.

All Nucleus personnel will be given
proper notice and terminated.

But make no mistake.

Though they're the ones leaving,

it is I who must remain and bear
the heavy burden of their failure.

It is my fault.

I trusted them to get the job done.

But that is the price of leadership.

Thank you.

That was the gutsiest
thing I've ever seen.

Amazing.

So, wait, does that mean...

Uh... Denpok?

Can I have your Big Gulp?

I know we keep saying this,

but even though Richard
is a great guy...

And a brilliant coder.

He's wonderful.

Nevertheless, he is
lacking in certain...

managerial capacities.

- Totally fair.
- It's fair, right?

He's still a great coder.

And an amazing human being.

- Okay, look.
- Such...

We have a lot of shit we
want to say about him.

Do we have to keep prefacing it
with all this nice-guy stuff?

I mean, if so, we're
gonna be here all night.

Yeah, we kind of do, though,

just to offset the shittiness
of all the shitty stuff.

What if we use like a dictionary patch?

To compress all the nice-guy stuff.

Like an acronym.

Exactly.

"Richard is great, but you know"...

R-I-G-B-Y.

Rigby.

Rigby is all the nice-guy stuff.

Okay. Rigby.

But he just assumed we
were gonna leave with him,

which is kind of total bullshit, right?

That's really arrogant.

Rigby. We gave up our own apps...

so that we could bust our asses for him.

Why the fuck should we give
up our Pied Piper shares

right when we get funded

because he's too much of a prima donna

to let someone experienced come in

and run the company the way
its supposed to be run.

- Rigby.
- Rigby.

Now I'm actually getting
kind of fucking angry!

I mean, we put in so
much work for no pay,

and now he thinks he's
gonna walk out on us?

I mean, seriously, fuck that guy.

Fuck him. Rigby.

What are we gonna do?

- Rigby.
- Rigby.

Richard, I have something
that might cheer you up.

What is this?

Go on, Gloomy Gus, open it.

Okay.

So this is a box of files with
companies' information on it?

No. These are all companies that I
took the liberty of reaching out to

that are actually offering
you the job of CTO.

Really?

Some of these companies are pretty good.

Flutterbeam's like... really good.

Of course it is. They all are.

You're the belle of the ball,

and these are all your swains,

hoping for a glimpse of ankle.

Ah. The nest wherein the asp doth coil.

Where's Richard? Is he coming?

Nope.

Congratulations, you've
successfully broken a good man.

Is that Barker?

Uh... yeah.

What are you gonna do?

I just spent the last 16 hours
cherry-picking Friars Roasts

for the premium old-man jokes.

Essentially, I'm going
to beat him to death

with his own titanium hips.

Not just for me, but for Richard.

Jack Barker, aka Action Jack.

We meet at last.

Erlich Bachman.

Mr. Bachman.

Pleasure to finally meet you.

I'm a big fan.

Oh, really? Of what? Metamucil?

Polio? The phonograph?

A nice piece of fish?

Segregated water fountains?

Senior citizen discounts at
Perkins Family restaurants?

Erectile dysfunction because
of corroded penile arteries?

Deviled eggs as an entr?e?

Liking Ike?

No.

None of those, Mr. Bachman.

I am a fan of yours.

Have been ever since you
were at the helm of Aviato.

You know Aviato?

Yes. Aviato.

My Aviato?

Is there any other Aviato?

Well, legally, there cannot be.

Mr. Barker, pleasure to meet you.

- Is that a poppy seed muffin?
- Yes, sir.

Well, Poppy wants one 'cause
Mommy already got hers.

Hooli stock jumped seven percent today

on this news that Gavin
Belson is writing down

the entire Nucleus project.

What's happening here?

It was a courageous move.

He's a straight shooter,

and obviously Wall Street
is responding to that.

So, what else do you think...

So, by our account,

just under 50 percent of
Hooli employment agreements

include a non-compete clause.

The same clause that caused us to lose
the Pied Piper lawsuit in arbitration

and are thus legally invalid,

calling into question
some of our IP ownership.

Shit. I was afraid of that.

But hypothetically, this also
presents an opportunity.

Any of those people could be
dismissed with no severance.

Any unvested stock

would return to the company option pool.

So, in other words, we have the right
to terminate any of those people

with no repercussions whatsoever,

and we'd actually make money?

Correct.

You know, our annual
individual performance reviews

showed a 20 percent incidence
of sub-standard work.

So essentially, one out of
every five Hooli team members

deserve to be fired.

Oh, I'm sorry. What?

So, are you nervous?

No, actually. I feel pretty good.

Flutterbeam was the best
company we looked at.

Their tech is great.
Their offer is amazing.

Actually, I'm kind of pumped.

Well, your pumpedness makes me pumped.

You just got... okay.

- I'll do it.
- Yeah.

All right. Well, Jared...

we gotta one day figure out what
we're gonna do for you for a job.

Richard, you'll go. You'll
establish yourself,

and when the time is
right, you'll send for me.

Richard, you have to talk to this man.

Who, Barker? Pass.

This guy is real, okay, Richard?

With his managerial skills

and your talent as an engineer,

we could be talking
about the D-word here.

- Dick?
- No. Decacorn.

A company that's valued over $10 billion
before its initial public offering.

All right?

He's still at Raviga for another hour.

Please go talk to him.

Sorry, I can't do that. I'm
already set up at Flutterbeam.

Whose CEO, unprompted, said,

"A brain like Richard's comes
along once in a generation."

Sorry. I'm just proud.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Richard, I'm not asking
you to spoon with the guy

or even fork him.

- What I'm asking for...
- What is that?

Forking is when you use
your dick and your two legs

to stab him in the lower torso.

I'm asking for you to take
10 minutes and talk to him

before you throw everything
that we built away.

And yes, I did say "we."

I mean, if you want to stop by Raviga,

it's on the way to Flutterbeam.

I mean, I threw some Tyson-level
haymakers at this guy.

Richard, he didn't flinch.

He floats like a butterfly.

Hey, Richard.

What's going on?

- We've been talking.
- Okay.

Guys, this isn't really a great time.
Richard.

We wanna tell you something. Right?

Yeah, it's something important.

Maybe later. So, Richard?

Guys, come on.

We know you're leaving...

- Yep. Well aware.
- ...but...

- We're not. Yeah.
- ...we're gonna stay at Pied Piper.

Really?

Why are you laughing?

I'm sorry. Wow.

Well, it's just that you really think

that you're gonna be able to
scale the platform without me?

Goddamn it!

- Yeah.
- You don't think we can?

Well, I know you can't.

That's a bold statement.

- Richard.
- We have massive tech debt.

You really think that you can
scale and deploy my library

without any input from me?

Are you serious here?

- Yes, we do.
- Yeah.

Then I guess you are truly delusional.

Well, I think you're an arrogant prick.

I'm the arrogant prick.

Okay. This is coming from two people

who think they know everything
about code they didn't even write.

We wrote a lot of the code.

- You wrote some of it.
- You know what? We're gonna stay,

and we're gonna build Pied
Piper just to prove you wrong.

Okay. Thank you for the
solidarity by the way,

and sticking with your friend.

You know what, Erlich?

You can tell Barker to go fuck himself,

so I can go to Flutterbeam

and then watch these two
assholes crash and burn

trying to build out Pied
Piper by themselves.

This'll be great.

Great timing, guys.
Thank you so much.

Premium stuff, Dinesh.

Richard. Richard?

Well, we are now living
in a post-Rigby world.

Man, this place is amazing.

Yeah. We raised a shit ton of money.

We're growing fast as balls.

But we're not exactly super psyched

with the quality of our engineering.

Well, it's a good thing
I'm here then, right?

Yeah.

All joking aside, I actually
have a few thoughts

on your video platform if you...

We're pretty happy with
the basic platform.

We want to hand you
something way cooler.

It's kind of like a secret project.

I got to warn you, though.
It's pretty rad.

Sit right here.

Okay.

- All right.
- Oh. Hello.

This is the present.

You ready to go to the future?

Sure.

Three, two, one.

Bam!

Oh. I...
I have a mustache.

Fuck yeah, you do.

And check this out.

Turn your head. See that?

Compositing perfect 3-D
holographic mustaches

using depth-sensing cameras
in a live video chat.

And no one's doing it.

Nobody.

Sorry. This is the...
this is the rad thing?

Look, Richard, we agree, okay?

We're not there yet.

We're using a crappy plug-in,
so the latency is bad.

You turn too fast, that
mustache is on your ear.

But with your help, we think
we can cut our 'stache lag

to just... 20 milliseconds
motion-to-photon

in... nine months?

Just in time for Movember.

So, which one do you want
on your employee badge?

- Tom Selleck?
- Aloha.

Ooh, Fu Manchu.

- John Waters.
- Not bad.

Alex Trebek. Hitler.

- Probably not Hitler. Skip him.
- Oh yeah.

- Bam. Sam Elliot.
- Howdy.

Sure.

Oh. Uh...

Okay, so we've got to hop
on a call with biz dev...

Okay.

...but feel free to keep
on 'staching. Okay?

- There you go.
- All right.

Hey, if you want to have your attorney
look over the employment agreement

and the stock option grant,
it's cool by us, all right?

Just sign it. You're in.

- We'll see you Monday, man.
- We're pumped.

Okay. Well, your pumpedness
makes me pumped.

Uh, uh...

Pete Monahan, please.
It's Richard Hendricks.

I just need him to go
over a contract for me.

What?

Are you an attorney
here to see a client?

No. Actuallt, I'm a client
who is here see my attorney.

Okay. Follow me.

It began as a innocent celebration
of our arbitration victory.

I ordered a kombucha, which I did
not realize contained alcohol.

It was described to me as
a healthy, organic tea.

Next thing I knew, I was 70 miles
away, wrapped naked in a blanket,

shaking off a meth high,

and facing charges for attacking
a police horse with a shovel.

Oh. Holy shit.

From a legal standpoint, it was
a clear violation of my parole,

and I must now serve
my entire sentence...

Okay.

...and any additional time
stemming from the new charges,

which continue to accrue.

But I'm owning my mistakes.

- Oh.
- I am staying positive.

Enough about me.

Let's take a look at that contract.

Okay.

I would red-line it, but...

I'm not allowed to have a pencil.

Oh.

This makes less sense
the more I look at it.

Okay. What's this number over here?

I don't know.

I didn't handle the compression library.

Neither did I.

You're telling me Richard
did this all on his own?

Shit. I thought you did it.

Now I respect you even less.

We each know 90 percent
of the platform...

but it's the same 90 percent.

Maybe that arrogant prick was right.

We can't scale it without him.

We are so fucked.

Wait.

- Yeah?
- I got it.

We quit out of solidarity with Richard.

That's interesting.

So even though he said all
that horrible shit to us,

we take the high road

and we get his back.

Yeah.

Maybe he'll even hire
us at his new company.

Flutterbeam.

- Mustaches?
- Yes.

Doesn't necessarily
have to stop at people.

They can put mustaches
on their pets, too.

It's actually pretty fun.

So, soon you'll be putting
mustaches on cats and dogs and...

- snakes.
- Snakes, yeah, yeah.

I mean, it's a little tricky because
they don't have a philtrum,

so finding an anchor point for
that mustache is actually...

gonna be quite of a
technological challenge.

- It's exciting stuff.
- It really is.

Richard.

Let me ask you something.

Why are you leaving Pied Piper?

They pushed me out.

I thought they offered
you another position.

Yeah, CTO. It's a demotion.

Well, wouldn't you be
CTO at Flutterbeam?

Yes, but at least this way,
I don't have to eat shit.

Richard, let me tell you something
I learned here on the inside.

Swallow your pride, or soon you'll be
eating something far worse than shit.

Believe me.

Don't you think you should at
least meet this Barker fellow?

So where are we?

Seventeen hundred people
slated for exiting.

Their negated options
total 780,000 shares.

That money can be allocated
anyway you see fit.

Employee bonuses, renovations
to the day-care center.

What have you. What
should we prioritize?

Sorry, I don't understand.

It's all in the document.

You take that severance package,

and you leave Hooli immediately.

But the most important aspect

is the non-disclosure,
non-disparagement clause,

in which you agree not to say
anything negative in the press,

in public, or in private

about Hooli or Gavin Belson.

Okay, I won't.

You will not discuss
anything you did at Hooli

at all, in perpetuity,

throughout the universe.

I didn't really do
anything at Hooli, so...

Good. You're getting the
hang of it already.

So, can I keep my Hooli ID, though,

so I can still come and hang out
with my friends on the roof?

You cannot.

Officially, you will no
longer have any friends here.

Shoot.

I have to think about this then.

This settlement offer is quite generous.

I know, I know. I mean, $2
million is a lot of money.

Two? No. It's...

It's $20 million.

Twenty?

So they fired me before they hired you,

so it's not your fault. I just...

I feel like this... can't really work.

- Do you understand?
- I do, Richard.

It's like...

can I really be expected
to do my best work

when I am constantly feeling undervalued

at the company that I started?

Does that make sense?

It does, Richard. Absolutely.

I hear each and every one

of your concerns loud and clear,

and I appreciate your position.

Mm.

So, I guess we just won't do it.

Come on, I'll walk you out.

Wait. What?

Sorry. You what?

Jack?

Sorry, I don't understand.

You're not gonna take the job?

Not if you're not.

Without you handling the tech,

I don't see how this company works.

Wow. I mean, yeah, I agree.

Richard, it's hard enough
running a business

when everyone is on the same page.

And clearly, we are not.

- Well... yeah.
- No, no, it's fine,

and I appreciate you
being so honest with me.

I mean, better we find out now, right?

Yeah.

Anyway, I hope we each
find a good fit somewhere.

Thanks for coming up.

You got a hell of a brain
there, Richard Hendricks.

You drive safe.

Yeah.

Shit.