Shtisel (2013–…): Season 2, Episode 1 - Lemons - full transcript

Abot Barkai Productions

Talisma Productions

Created by
Yehonatan Indursky and Ori Elon

Dov Glickman

Michael Aloni

Sasson Gabay

Neta Riskin

Zohar Strauss

Shira Haas

Hadas Yaron

Casting
Hila Yuval



Executive Producers
Eitan Abot and Guy Hameiri

Line Producers
Isca Gur-Luzon and Aviv Ben Shlush

Art Director
Shimri Gal Novak

Music
Avi Belleli

Cinematography
Roey Roth

Editor
Gilad Ariel

Screenplay Editor
Sayed Kashua

Screenplay
Ori Elon and Yehonatan Indursky

Executive Producer
Dikla Barkai

Director
Alon Zingman

SHTISEL

Look how beautiful
it's been organized here.

So beautiful.

Mom, the door is locked.



I'll get it open in a second.

That's all right, Shulem.

I'm moving on.

Moving on? But we're here.

I'll open the door of this busted old car.

We'll recite the Psalms
over father's grave.

You recite the Psalms, Shulem,
I'm moving on.

Mom, what's going on?

Did you release the hand brake?

Mom!

Your walker. You forgot your walker!

You use it, Shulem.

Mom!

But, Mom...

Take care of that
belly button, my child.

Yes.

Finally you picked up.

Nuchem. You're here already?

I've been here for ages. Where are you?

I'm in the hospital with Mom.

Are you coming?

The doctors say
she's fighting for her life.

Forget the doctors.
I'll be there, don't worry.

When?

Tomorrow.

Tomorrow?

Get here now. This is no joke, Nuchem.

Get off my back.

I just got off a long flight,
let me get a bite to eat.

I need a good night's sleep too.

Tomorrow morning I'll come by
and say hello to Mother.

Do as you wish.

By the way, where are you?

In your kitchen, eating lunch.

"Welcome," is the word you're looking for.

Of course, Uncle Nuchem, welcome.

-When did you arrive?
-Earlier.

That's great.
So how are things in Belgium?

Look, Libbi, my brother's youngest
is taller than me.

Does that make sense to you?

Hello, Libbi, how are you?

Thank God. How are you, Kive?

Thank God.

-How did you get in?
-How do you think?

Your father's been hiding the key
in the same place for 50 years.

Don't stand there, eat with us.
Make yourself at home.

Libbi took everything in the fridge
and put it in a pot.

I thought it would taste like piss,
but it's not bad at all.

Have some.

-That's okay.
-Go on. Have some.

I apologize, Kive,
I'll wash it for you later.

No, it's fine.

The soup smells good.

I'll give you some.

Blessed are you, God,
king of the universe,

-who creates the fruit of the earth.
-Amen.

-Did you see what this says?
-What?

Something very interesting.

"Looking for Orthodox family,
who's expecting a boy,

to name child after a religious man
who passed away without issues

in return for honest pay.

Confidentiality guaranteed."

I've known that sort of thing to be done.

What do you think?

You mean for us?

You want to name the child
after a stranger?

Let's call and see what they mean
by "honest pay."

Hello.

My name is Lippe Weiss.

I'm calling about the ad.

Yes, we'd like some more information.

I see.

Yes, but what's the...

Yes.

All right.

Thank you.

Goodbye.

Well?

Fifty thousand dollars.

Really?

-That's a lot.
-That's tons.

We'll get back on our feet
and we'll be able to save.

Maybe this is divine providence.

What's the name?

"What's the name?"

The name.

It's not that bad.

Zelig.

Father in heaven, sweet Father, I beg you,

purify, sanctify, and renew me
so I may be a true worshipper of God,

without fear, without doubts.

That I may delve into the studies
of your holy Torah,

totally immersed in the holy Torah,
day and night, night and day.

Without doubts and bad thoughts,

so that I may be saved
from impure thoughts,

forbidden sights, and nocturnal emission.

That I may be totally immersed
in the holy Torah,

day and night, night and day.

Father in heaven.

I can't take these thoughts, dear God.

I want only to think
about the Torah, about you.

Day and night, Father, day and night.

Libbi.

Libbi Shtisel, look at you.

Uncle Shulem.

Hello and welcome.
I see you came with your father.

Welcome home.

Use the rag to wipe your feet
so the floor won't get dirty.

You don't have to clean,
that's Kive's job.

That's okay, I can tell that a woman
hasn't been in here a long time.

That's Kive's job too.

What are you waiting for, Kive?

All in good time, Uncle Nuchem.

"All in good time." Give me a break.

With God's help, it will happen this year.

Welcome.

Welcome.

Come, Shulem, let's wet our throats.

Blessed are you, God,
that everything exists by his word.

Amen. Cheers.

Well, then...

Mother is on her death bed
and we're drinking away,

but don't mind me.

We'll go see her tomorrow morning.
Give a man some space.

You know what happened to our luggage?

We looked for it for hours at the airport.
Damn those people.

I hope she's comfortable in my bed.

Who?

Libbi.

You gave her your room?

Why do you think I'm in Mom's bed?

Right.

You know what?

Let's switch beds.

A boy shouldn't sleep
in his mother's bed.

Okay.

What kind of son returns to Israel
after so many years

and doesn't visit his poor mother
in the hospital first thing?

How old is she?

She's going to be 90.

What?

No. Libbi.

Libbi?

Never mind.

Listen, Kive.

I have something important to tell you.

Yes.

Dad?

Number two.

Number four.

Here.

Beyfus.

Are you all here about the ad?

Get in line.

Are you serious?

No. You're after that couple.
Don't worry, it goes fast.

Are they conducting interviews?

You could say that.

We're all praying to be Zelig's parents.

I don't like this, Lippe, let's go.

-But...
-We don't stand a chance.

But, Giti, we might as well...

Have a drink of water.

I'll be totally honest with you,
so there are no misunderstandings.

All right?

All right.

My husband Zelig
passed away one month ago

from a disease.

We're sorry for your loss.

His final request was that I find a family

that will name their son after him,

and when he's grown,
will recite the Kaddish

for the elevation of his soul,
once a year.

That's the whole story.

As you must have seen,
there are many candidates.

I will weigh it out

and the couple I choose
will sign a contract

and receive compensation.

One check for $25,000
upon signing the contract,

and another after the bris.

Sounds...

Sounds excellent.

Good.

So I'd like to ask you a few questions.

Go ahead.

Are you all right?

Yes, I'm fine.

I may be mistaken,
but from the moment you walked in,

I got the feeling that...

you don't want to be here.

Am I wrong?

No.

She doesn't feel well today, that's all.

I feel fine.

You're not wrong.

What's your name?

-Giti.
-Giti.

My mother's name was Giti.

Then what is this about?

I'm sorry, this is...

I feel strange selling...

it's hard for me to say,
but I feel that's what this is.

Me selling my baby's name.

This is my child.
He's flesh of my flesh.

Imagine taking your child and...

-Do you understand?
-No.

I don't understand. I never...

My husband and I never...

I never had a child.

That's what this is about.

Forgive me, Mrs. Beyfus,
I meant no offense.

That's okay.

It's not your fault.

To each what God gave them.

If you could just tell the next couple

to come in, please.

We'll name him Zelig.

-Without any compensation.
-What?

We'll name him Zelig
for the love of God.

To elevate your husband's soul.

But, Giti...

Do you mean that?

Yes.

I really do.

Hello. Which room is Malka Shtisel in?

-You must be her son from Belgium.
-How did you know?

Your brother has been
coming here every day.

-He told me you were coming.
-Fine, where is she?

It's so important you came,
she's not doing so well.

-Which room is she in?
-Number five, over there.

This one?

Thank you.

Be nicer, Father.

I hate hospitals in this country.

-"In this country?"
-You heard me.

Wait here.

Mom. Good morning, Mom.

How are you?

How are you? Are you all right?

My Nuchem.

Good morning, my dear Nuchem.

Where have you been all this time?

In Belgium, Mom, in Belgium.

What happened in Belgium?

Nuchem.

My Nuchem.

-Good morning, Rabbi Shtisel.
-Good morning, Mrs. Gerlick.

Would you like some?

No. I couldn't.

It could use some salt.

My husband has to watch what he eats.

Everyone has to watch what they eat.

-He doesn't like spicy food.
-You don't say.

Blessed are you, God,
that everything exists by his word.

Amen.

No salt, no spices,

I can still tell you have talent.

Thank you.

Yes?

Who is this?

Please hold.

It's your brother,
he wants to talk to you.

Tell him I'm in a meeting,
I'll get back to him in an hour.

He's in a meeting,
he'll get back to you in an hour.

Just a second.

He's asking... if you want
to talk to your mother.

That man and his jokes. Give it to me.

I'm putting you through
to Rabbi Shtisel.

Mom, did you know
that your eldest has a secretary?

Thank God. Fine, fine.

What's going on there?
Stop making fun of me, Nuchem.

You've been telling stories for months.

I said good morning
and she opened her eyes, asked for water.

What do you mean?
Did she really wake up?

Don't make fun of me.

-You want some cake too, Mom?
-Just water.

It's a miracle, Nuchem.
Get the doctors in there, quick.

It's a miracle.

Why do I need a doctor?
I know how to pour a glass of water.

I said get a doctor in there now.
Don't upset me.

Is that really Mother?

She's been in this hospital
for eight months because of the doctors.

Mom, we're getting you
out of here today.

You know how much
the Zionists pay them for a bed?

Damn those evil people.

You're so beautiful.

Mom.

Mom. Mom.

Thank God.

What joy. This is a miracle.

Mom, it's me, Shulem.

Do you know him?

Of course. It's Shulem, Mom.

Shulem? Who is Shulem?

Your firstborn son.

Mine?

It is of the Lord's mercy
That we are not consumed

Because his compassions fail not

It is of the Lord's mercy
That we are not consumed

Because his compassions fail not

It is of the Lord's mercy
That we are not consumed...

This is a true miracle, Father,
the doctors said so themselves.

How do they explain the fact
that she woke up?

They don't know exactly.

But obviously, she's slightly confused.

It will go away in a few days,
don't worry.

Who's worried? Do I look worried to you?

Thank God. She'll be fine.

Pessia. My beautiful Pessia.

I missed you.

Where's your kerchief?

Mom, this isn't your sister, Pessia.

This is Ruchami, your great granddaughter.

Yes, yes.

You're so pretty, my righteous Pessia.

You're so pretty, Pessia.

It's only because I'm the youngest.
It doesn't mean a thing.

In a few days she'll recognize you too.

I know.

The youngest is always the youngest.

The youngest is always the youngest.

We have to talk.

So talk.

When have I ever stopped you from talking?

Listen, I...

When I got here,

I thought that Mother
was one foot in the grave.

And had that happened, God forbid,

we would be in mourning
and discussing the apartment.

Mother is finally recovering,

and that's all you can think about?

The apartment?

Yes, that too.

I see.

It's no secret that Zvi Arye
has been living there for years

and no one has asked him to pay.

And no one will.

Hear me out.

Soon Libbi will get engaged,
God willing,

and if I want a Torah scholar for her,

I need to give them an apartment.

I'm not stopping you from doing that.

I can help you out if you like.

I don't need any help.
That's our apartment too.

Zvi Arye should find
somewhere else to live.

Zvi Arye isn't going anywhere
as long as Mother is alive.

And she will live for many years.

No one will inherit anything from her.

She let Zvi Arye live in her apartment

and that's it.

PARENTS HOME AND HOSPICE FOR THE ELDERLY

I didn't understand, tell me again.

Who stole whose teeth?

Tenenbaum. I told you.

Zuckerman stole Tenenbaum's pants

when he was at the pool.

Tenenbaum had to walk through the lobby

and everyone saw his underpants.

But why did Zuckerman
steal Tenenbaum's pants?

Tenenbaum, Zuckerman,
Zucker putz.

Don't swear, Freide,
it's not good for you.

Kiss my ass.

Call me Freide one more time

and I won't talk to you ever again.

You're not Freide?

No.

I'm Shoshana. Rebbetzin Shoshana Erblich.

Velvale. There's Velvale.

That's not Velvale.

He's a frenk.

Really, Malka.

Velvale.

I have to iron your shirt better.

Now it looks better.

Yes?

-Is this Shtisel?
-This is he.

-Get here right away.
-Who is this?

Rebbetzin Erblich.

Yes, of course, what is it?
Is my mother all right?

Your mother spent the night
in the room of a frenk.

What?

What are you talking about?

That's right.

She slept with Maurice Badihi.

He had a grocery store near the market.
I used to buy my moth balls there.

But now he's totally senile.

Why didn't she sleep in her room?

Your mother thinks he's her husband.

If you don't want any more siblings,
get here right away.

I'll take care of it. Thank you.

Kive.

-Yes?
-Come here.

I need you to say something
to your uncle.

He's in the kitchen, tell him yourself.

I'm not talking to him.

Are you serious?

Don't make me mad.

Tell your uncle that he has to go
to the old folks home,

that your grandmother thinks that this...

Never mind.

-She slept with him last night.
-What?

Forget it. Tell Nuchem
that Grandma slept with a frenk.

"You're the only one she recognizes.
Take care of this."

Go on. Get going.

Libbi?

Please tell your father
that my father said to tell him that...

he has to go to the old folks home.

Dad.

Your brother says
you have to go to the old folks home.

It's not funny.

Yes, it is.

Tell your father
to stop worrying about Grandma.

She's a big girl.

He's not in my heart,
so he's not in my life, in my home...

Look at Steinberger's children.

All off them ran off to the kibbutz.

He's been avoiding me for three months.

Is that how a religious man behaves?
I've been chasing him.

I've been to his house some 40 times.

I know. It's all because of Steinberger.

He reads secular newspapers.

One day I said to his wife,
if your husband doesn't pay me today,

I'll do what my father used to do.

She got scared,

collected money from the neighbors,
and gave it to me.

Then she asked me,
"What is it your father used to do?"

I said, "He used to put sugar
on the legumes instead of salt."

How are you, Mom?

Do you recognize me?

Mom, hello.

Hello.

Hello.

Mom, this man is not Father.
He's just a man.

You can't sit here
or sleep in his room.

What do you want?

I'm Shulem, your son.
Mom, look at me.

What does this man want from me?

He keeps coming here
and saying he's my son.

Come, Mom, we're leaving.

Come in, don't stand out there.

No, I'll be brief.

The thing is, my wife and I thought
that maybe...

in order to...

How can I put this? To...

make you feel better...

we thought you'd pay us
a small amount after all.

I mean, only if it makes you feel better.

Please come in. We'll talk.

Come on.

Oh, oh, here's Seyfe.

She protects me.

I can save you.

I can help you lead a pure life.

I can save you from bad thoughts.

You'll be able to focus
on your studies, day and night.

You'll focus on your studies,
day and night.

You see, Mom? This is Father's grave.

He passed away.

CHAIM ZEEV SHTISEL

Ten years ago. Read.

Read what it says.

And next to him,

this is the plot we bought for you.

This is where you'll be buried
when you are 120.

Look. My Dvora is buried over here.

Do you remember my Dvora?

She's waiting for me in heaven too.

Mom, look at me.

I'm Shulem, your firstborn.

I've been caring for you my entire life.

It was Nuchem, your youngest,
who was in the hospital.

He's been in Belgium for 15 years.

He doesn't care about you.

He doesn't care about you at all.

All this time,
he came to see you once.

Just once.

And even that was just to take
your apartment away.

Mom.

I'm sorry I took your room.

You're up because of me.

No, it's not because of that.

It's not polite to fall asleep
in the middle of a concert.

Right. The Piamenta Brothers.

Tell me, Kive.

How come you're not engaged yet?

I was engaged.

Twice.

You were?

And what happened?

Nothing.

The first time was a mistake.

And the second time?

The second one is in London.

No need to tell me if you don't want to.

What about you?

You're also not 18 anymore.

True. I hope to be engaged
very soon.

Really?

Who's the lucky guy?

I don't know yet.

That's why I came to Israel,
to find someone.

Father promised Mother we wouldn't
come back without a wedding date.

Nice.

Tell me, Libbi.

What?

Never mind, nothing.

What? Tell me.

I just remembered something.

We sat here once on the balcony,
many years ago,

the day before you left for Belgium.

You stayed with us for a few days, too,

with your mother and brothers.

Yes, I remember that.

But what happened on the balcony?

You don't remember?

Remind me.

I don't remember that well either.

It's not that important. Forget about it.

Okay.

Libbi, the rule of the game is that
you have to eat the whole lemon

without making a face.

The entire lemon,
without making a face.

How will we know who won?

The first one to make a face
is the loser.

Is it really, really sour?

That's the idea.

Okay.

Three, four, and...