Shrinking (2023–…): Season 1, Episode 3 - Fifteen Minutes - full transcript

So we flew on a PJ...
That's a private jet.

'Cause I'm already COO
of the company, you know?

First one under 40.

But I like to say that I'm
also COO in the bedroom.

That's a joke.

But it is also 100% true.

Will you excuse me for a minute?

I might need to
use the restroom.

Might?

Okay.

- I have some feedback.
- What the fuck are you doing here?



Alan, for months
in our sessions,

I've listened to you obsess
about ending up alone.

You've described these bad
dates with superficial women

- as though they're the problem?
- What is happening? Don't eat my fries.

Listen, the trickiest
part about therapy

is that sometimes a patient
can be an unreliable narrator.

So, I started to wonder if maybe
you were completely full of shit.

Now I know. You're
full of shit, Alan.

- You need to go.
- No, no, no.

This is good news, because
now we can get down to work.

This guy that I was
listening to, that's not you.

I want you to start letting these
women see the kind, charming,

vulnerable guy that I've
met in our sessions.

Here she comes.



Just be you.

- Fuck off.
- Be you.

I cried four times today.

Oh, my God.

Shit! Fuck!

Shit fuck? You gotta look up.

I'm sorry. For being
in the pool house.

Excuse me?

'Cause you're definitely
staying in the pool house,

so there's no reason for
you to be in my kitchen.

You can use regular
sarcasm with me,

because all that complicated
shit you just did is...

I think it's a
little unnecessary.

I was cleaning up.
Old army habit.

Wait, what happened to the
orchid that was on the counter?

That pot of dirt
with the stick in it?

I threw it out. I
thought it had passed.

You thought it had passed?

I did. Was it a friend of yours?
I'm very sorry for your loss.

Don't touch shit
that's not yours.

Okay.

- I'ma get it out of the trash.
- No, just forget it. Just forge...

It's okay. You want it, you got it.
One zombie orchid coming right up.

- May I help you?
- Just looking for a dead plant.

That is not your trash.

Okay. Let's start over.

So, my name is Sean, and
I'm guessing you're Karen?

- It's Pam.
- Pam, the family knows him.

Why don't you go home and
post some shit on Nextdoor

on how the
neighborhood's changing?

He's staying with us, Pam.

Were you dropping off
some welcome muffins?

Wait, the guy that almost beat
someone to death is staying with you?

- Jimmy, what the fuck are you doing?
- It's fine. Alice is cool with it.

No, I'm not. But I
agree Pam's a racist.

- I'm moving into VA housing.
- Hey, you don't owe her an explanation.

Why am I the bad guy?

Liz and I are just trying
to protect the neighborhood.

Stop. There's no "Liz and I."

- You need me over here, babe?
- No.

Ugh, thank God.

- Hey, Jimmy.
- Hey, Derek.

- Hey, Pam.
- Hey.

No. There's no "Hey,
Pam." We don't like Pam.

Got it.

Eat a dick, Pam.

I like that guy.

Hey. Tia and I used to do this
hike with Gaby and her husband.

That's a great story.

- Give me a signal if your heart stops.
- Okay.

I'll probably just
go with vomiting.

- Hey.
- Hey, Brian.

Just on a hike with my dad.

That's too mean.

How do you know everybody?

I live two blocks from here
and nobody's waved at me.

Fuck you.

That was almost a wave.

How does he have
friends? Seriously.

Such a bad guy.

Really good at punching
though. So... So strong.

Hey. Let's get some
drinks tonight.

We can invite Gaby.

I didn't get to see her much
when you cut me out of your life

for being too kind
and supportive.

Yeah. I haven't hung out
with her much lately either.

Unfortunately without Tia, Gaby
thinks that we're old and boring.

What?

Well, let's show her how
we did it in college.

Except for, you know, much
earlier and with way fewer drinks,

and a lot less of me declaring
I'm an absolute pussy hound.

- I miss straight Brian.
- Yeah.

He used to say things like,
"Aren't vulvas gorgeous?"

Are they not?

I mean, they're all right.

Yeah.

They're not like, the main
attraction, or anything.

- Right. Right.
- Yeah.

Blood work looks good.

Ah, your cholesterol
has gone up a smidge.

Do you remember that talk we
had about eating healthier?

- I do. I ignored it.
- Terrific.

It took us a while but we found
the right combination of meds.

Your reflexes, motor
skills, all seem great.

Good.

How is your emotional health?

I know what's coming,
you know? I just...

I try not to dwell.

Whenever I need it, I put on
one of my favorite sad songs

and just let myself grieve
for 15 straight minutes.

But once my alarm beeps, I shake it
off, and get the fuck on with my life.

- Hey.
- Hey.

Cute dress. What's the occasion?

It's the first day with my new
car. I gotta make an effort.

Yeah, I still need
a name for her.

I was thinking about Shadowfax,

which everybody knows is the name of
Gandalf's horse in Lord of the Rings.

- Nobody knows that.
- Okay, but that's what makes it cool.

I was also considering Deborah,

Mildred and Barack.

But I don't know.

Hey, why don't I pick you up, and
then take you to your meeting later?

That way, you can see
how lil Debbie handles?

Oh, shit. I just made my choice.

No, thanks.

I just can't listen
to your music today.

Cool.

Have a good day.

…The story of a girl

Who cried a river And
drowned the whole world

And while she looks
so sad In photographs

I absolutely love her When
she motherfucking what?

Smiles

Your clothes never wear
As well the next day

Your hair never falls
In quite the same way

You never seem to Run
out of things to say

New Tesla, bitch.

This is the story of a girl

Who cried a river And
drowned the whole world

And while she looks
so sad In photographs

I absolutely love
her When she...

Are you fucking serious?

Oh, my God.

This fucking car is brand-new.

Dude!

New car, huh? Nice.
Were you backing up?

It's not my fault.

Gaby's new car's got
an enormous bumper.

So you're saying Debbie
was asking for it?

That's a great name.
She looks like a Debbie.

- Thank you.
- Yeah.

- Hey, talk to him.
- I don't want to.

- I know, but you have to.
- Don't make me do it.

Okay, you're a little dick.

Paul, you think it's safe
for you to still be driving?

You know? With the Parkinson's?

I passed the mandatory motor
skills test a few months ago.

I'm just a shitty driver.

You think it's worth the risk though,
you know? I can just drive you to work.

No, it's, like, way
out of your way.

I live a block away from
you. I can take you.

You're a lot in the morning.

What? Exsqueeze me?

- I'll drive myself.
- Oh, my God.

Hey, I think you're
fun in the morning.

You do? Thank you.

Well, maybe next time you can
fucking say something. Okay?

Sorry.

I'm taking my car in. You're
picking me up later, fucker.

Why did they think the
Parkinson's caused the accident?

Because it can interfere with
your ability to judge distances.

That blows.

No, it doesn't blow, 'cause
that's not what happened.

I meant, it will
blow. Eventually.

Thank you for clarifying.

So, did you do it? Did you
have your dinner with your dad?

If we have dinner right now,
he'll just act like a total idiot.

He might. He often does.

Maybe I'll fuck it up.

I'm not really a
great hang right now.

I wasn't gonna say.

You haven't even
offered me a pretzel.

Everything's putting
me in a shitty mood.

Even a plant being thrown away.

It wasn't even my mom's
favorite plant or anything,

I just pictured her watering it.

Grief's a crafty little fucker.

Sneaks up on you.

I have something you can try.

Takes about 15 minutes.

Are you gonna tell me or…

Well, my mouth is a little dry.

Stole your snacks.

You look great.

Hey, man.

I know this is your time and you
love these workouts and everything,

but I'm sort of spinning out
about something over here.

- Do you mind if we leave a little early?
- I could go. Yeah.

- Hey.
- Hey.

- Is this new?
- Jimmy makes me fight people for money.

- Hey, that... that's not true.
- Wha...

That's just some good,
clean, consensual assault.

Okay. Sounds like fun.

Liz, I don't know
what you're doing.

But I just saw a friend
do some fucked-up shit

and I gotta confront her
tonight, so now's not the time.

No, no. I... I just came over
to apologize for this morning.

I'm gonna stop butting
into your life.

Okay. Thanks, Liz.

Well, I mean, I thought
you'd be happier.

Well, like I said, I have
some stuff on my mind.

Also I don't believe in a million, billion
years you'll ever butt out of my shit.

I swear on my son's life.

- Which one?
- You can pick.

- Connor.
- Not Connor. He's the best one.

Just you watch, I am gonna
stay out of your shit.

And secondly,

what'd your friend do?

Liz, you have a problem.

It was a joke. Good night.

Liz, if you turn around now,
I'll tell you what my friend did.

We'll meet again.

- Hey.
- Hey, Julie. Thanks for coming in.

What's the emergency? I
left a drinks date for you.

Well, you must not like him that
much if you left him for me.

You're not wrong.

Hey, look. I wanna take the
driving assessment again.

- What's the rush?
- Had a little fender bender.

Please, for me.

Okay. Let's do it.

Don't people dress up for dates?

Are you sure the equipment's gonna
work with you dressed so casually?

You shut up.

I've never played, but
I'm a natural athlete.

- So, I'm going in.
- Okay.

- Well, since you're a cornhole virgin...
- I'm quite sure I'm not.

Okay. Well, there's
something I want you to know.

When you make it in, you have to
yell, "Cornhole," like, super loud.

- That's gonna be fun.
- So fun.

Hey, so who picked you up today?

- What are you talking about?
- The car thing.

- Who'd you end up getting to pick you up?
- Yeah. Nico picked me up.

Nico is the best.

- He is, yeah.
- Really, really is.

Double really.
One of the greats.

That must be amazing to become one with
such an amazing, amazing gentleman.

Are you trying to fuck Nico?

I saw you kiss
someone today, Gab.

Okay. Jimmy...

- It's not cheating.
- Really?

It looked pretty... It looked cheaty.
I mean, come on. It was like this.

Don't do that.

Keep your tongue in.

What the fuck is going on?

Look. I've been wanting to
tell you this for a while,

but Nico and I are
getting a divorce.

Cornhole!

I taught him that.

Fuck.

Look, compared to your shit, this
is nothing, okay. It's amicable.

And now Nico's fully available
in case you still wanna hit that.

Christ.

How's he doing with his s...
How's he doing with his sobriety?

You know, he has his
ups and downs as usual.

But look, I'm kind of relieved
that this isn't my problem anymore.

I'm sorry, Gab.

Stop that. Stop.
You're doing sad face.

This is just face. I have
resting dead wife face.

Why don't you say
something really exciting?

I won the lottery, man.

Thank God.

Look, I'm gonna be okay, all
right? Just be happy for me.

Cornhole!

He's got the whole bar doing it.

- Cornhole!
- Good game.

Great game. Great
game, you guys.

I've become their king.

Well, I just told Jimmy
that I'm getting a divorce.

- Gaby.
- No, she's happy about it.

- Then congrats. You look amazing.
- Oh, my God. Thank you. Thank you.

- You're gonna have so much sex.
- I am.

See, that's how it's done.

Hello.

- Hey.
- Are you... You okay?

Yeah.

I'm doing this thing where I
grieve hard for 15 minutes a day.

Just to get it all out.

Like how I pee before bed so
I can sleep through the night.

Isn't that just for old people?

I think it's for
people of all ages.

- Okay.
- Okay. Well, I love you.

Be brave! Be brave! Fuck.

Every fucking time.

Fuck.

It's so hot.

- Hey.
- Hey.

Can I have some dinner?

Yes. Dinner. Yes.

I appreciate you trying not to
make a big deal out of this.

It's so hard.

- Too much.
- Yes, I know.

Just can't believe there's a
waiting list for VA Housing, man.

Hey, don't worry
about it, all right?

You'll just... You'll stay with
me until we get it figured out.

- I really appreciate this, bro.
- Yeah.

Look, I appreciate you
taking the car home.

I could use the cardio.

Feel a little outta shape. I
been getting a little soft.

- What the fuck, man? Did you just nod?
- No.

You're supposed to say, "No, you
don't. You look fucking great, man."

No, you don't. You look
fucking great, man.

Too late, Sean. You know what, we're
gonna talk about this in our next session.

Jesus Christ, Paul!

I passed the
driver's test again.

Cool. I just shit my pants.

How's it going with
the people-pleasing?

I've, like, completely stopped doing
things to make anyone else happy.

Which isn't true at all 'cause I
just said that to make you happy.

But I'm sorry. And I'll probably
send you a... a sorry card.

Grace, go easy on yourself.
You are doing so well.

You're setting boundaries.
You're being independent.

You're focusing on self-care.

In Vancouver, you're...
you're kind of a badass.

Shut up. Um, no, I'm ju... I'm just
grateful that you made me leave Donny.

You're the one who did the
leaving, not me. Be proud.

Okay. I am. I'm proud.

Great. All right, and work
on that people-pleasing.

Go fuck yourself. I'm kidding. Or
I'm... I'm not people-pleasing. Bye!

And she's gone. Okay.

Annie, go on in there, and
I'll be with you in a second.

- Jim! Jim-Jam, what's up? Hey.
- Hey.

So, I signed the divorce
papers. It's official.

- That's awesome.
- Yeah.

I told Brian that he would be
an embarrassment to gay men

if he couldn't go out with
me two nights in a row.

We're gonna swing
by my place tonight,

and we're gonna do a couple
of celebratory Jell-O shots.

Are you in?

- It's like a divorce party. Yeah.
- Yeah.

I mean, I'm supposed to swing by my
friend's brain tumor bonanza first.

That's fucking dark, but
you're not gonna kill my vibe.

- I'll see you later. Bye.
- Okay.

Annie. Hey.

- Can we talk?
- I told you, I passed the test.

I don't need another lecture.

It's about Gaby.

I was kinda looking
forward to a fight.

Yeah, I could tell.

My mom says if I fail science,
she's taking me off the pill.

But what fucking sucks is if I do go off
the pill, my acne will get bad again.

Which is kind of its
own birth control.

Please. High school boys don't
even care if you have a face.

I know.

Stay out of the house.
Also, why are you even back?

VA Housing didn't work out, so I'm
gonna be staying for a bit longer.

Great.

Well, I'm glad you're here.
I'm Summer. What's your name?

Nope.

Had to try.

What? He's kinda cute. I'd
give him housing in my V or A.

You'd do what?

Okay, I'm taking a
picture of us right now.

- Oh, my God.
- This is so cute.

Oh, my God.

Gaby wants me to go to
her divorce party tonight.

- So?
- I don't wanna. Feels fake.

I can assure you Gaby
is getting a divorce.

It's pissing me off.

Makes sense. Divorce is always
hardest on the coworkers.

She's totally in denial. She's acting
like she's super psyched about it.

- And I know what you're gonna say.
- No, you don't.

I'm triggered because Gaby
is choosing to end a marriage

- and I didn't get to make that choice.
- Okay, you did know.

Come on, kiddo. You don't get to
dictate how other people grieve.

So, Gaby puts on a brave
face. Who gives a shit?

Me, I gotta kick and scream for
a while before I face the truth

but then I face it like a hero.

But you, who knows
how you grieve?

You haven't even begun.

What are you talking about? I've
been grieving for a fucking year.

No. You've been numbing.

Drugs, booze, women.

I told you that I
stopped all that.

Yeah, but you replaced it with being
overly involved in your patients' lives.

I'm not sure that I can show up
tonight with a smile on my face.

It's not about you.
It's about her.

Are you going?

I wasn't invited. Thank God.

But I can give you a trick
to help get through it.

Takes about 15 minutes.

Pick a piece of music, something sad
as hell, and just feel your feelings.

Hey, Siri, play "I Know the
End" by Phoebe Bridgers.

Now playing "I Know the
End" by Phoebe Bridgers.

Look, I know you
think it won't work.

But it will if you
really open yourself up

and aren't a complete
chicken shit for once.

Fuck you, Phoebe Bridgers!

Fuck you, Phoebe Bridgers.

Fuck!

Oh, my God. I'm so sorry. How
are you already crying so hard?

No. I was crying before.

This one's cute.
Does he have a name?

Derek named him.
This is Shit Rat.

Yeah. 'Cause he looks like a
rat and he eats his own shit.

She gets it. He'll be
renamed when he's adopted.

- Or not. I mean, it's pretty perfect.
- Are you coming to my game next week?

- I wouldn't miss it.
- Okay.

Sweetie, are you hungry?
Did you eat enough poop?

Yo, is your neighbor lady always
kinda hanging around like that?

Pretty much. She took over
parenting me for a while,

so I try and throw her a
bone every now and again.

Watch this. Liz!

I almost forgot to tell you I
got an A on my history paper.

You're awesome.
I knew you could.

There is no paper.

- I'm sorry I'm still here.
- It's fine.

It's clearly not.

Uh.

It's not you. I'm kind
of all over the place.

And I was having a good day, and then
my friend posted a pic of me smiling,

and I felt kinda guilty. And…

I don't know. It's like
I shouldn't be smiling.

It's a mess.

I get that.

Maybe just try not to
throw any more plants away?

I'm sorry.

But honestly, that plant
was deader than your mom.

What the fuck, dude?

Damn, that's brutal.

Yeah. What is that? What is that
on your face? Is that a smile?

I didn't even know
you had teeth.

- "Miss I Don't Smile."
- No, I'm not smiling.

I'm Alice. I don't be smiling. This
you. I'm you right now. I'm not smiling.

Gaby! I made it.

When I say "Di," you say
"vorce!" Divorce, "Di…"

"…vorce."

You know, you didn't
have to pretend for me.

I wasn't pretending.

I think I-I just feel guilty.

I mean, what if this whole thing
makes Nico bottom out again?

Well, there's an easy
solution for that.

You just put your own joy aside
and stay with him forever.

You win. I'll get divorced.

Yes.

Another one for the kid.

You know what's the worst
part about this whole thing?

No. Tell me.

- Never mind.
- Don't do that. Just tell me.

I just…

I really miss Tia.

I really wish she
was here right now.

Like, instead of you.

- The fuck?
- No.

I didn't... Look, you're okay.
It's just, she was my... my person.

We shared everything.

Like, she knew what
Nico's dick looked like.

I know what your
dick looks like.

Okay.

I just really fucking miss her.

Yeah.

See, I-I-I can't talk to
you about stuff like this.

- No, no, no, no, no.
- It's wrong. No. It's not my place.

It's not wrong. It's not wrong.

You lost your best friend.
I can be here for you.

Hey, come here.

Do you really know what
my dick looks like?

Yeah.

Hello. Divorce party.

Yeah. Probably don't need
the hat now. I'll just...

What'd she say about it?

Like that.

It's actually... It's
like that. It's east.

Doesn't make it better.

All right, that should do it.
Thank you for shopping with us.

Thanks. Have a good one.

- Hi. Uh, I don't know if you remember me.
- Hi.

Okay, tell me.

Jimmy's Super Bowl parties.

The neighbor. You're very
proud of your cookies.

- Liz.
- Liz.

- And my cookies are perfect.
- Okay. Um…

You know, Alice has been telling me
how much you've been talking to her

and helping her, and she
thinks you're very smart.

I am.

I've become very attached to Alice,
maybe too attached. I don't know.

It's irrelevant. Either way, there's
something that's bothering me,

but I can't go to Jimmy because I have
been way too up in his business lately.

I can't imagine
that for a minute.

Look, I'm probably just spinning. I
mean he's only been there a few days.

But I saw them together
and it seemed very flirty.

I just need you to tell
me that everything's okay.

- Everything's okay.
- Really? Okay. Great.

I have no idea what the
hell we're talking about.

The kid, Sean, living
at their house.

I did not know that.

Well, fuck!

- Hey, Paul.
- You moved a patient into your house?

- Pool house.
- Do you remember what you promised me?

About Alice, yes.

That you would not let your
rebel therapist bullshit

fuck with her well-being.

Why is it so hard for you
to put your daughter first?

Honestly, I think
I'm done with you.

Done... Done with me?
What does that even mean?

I don't know yet. I just
know we're not speaking.

Okay, can you just let
me explain myself please?

Hello?

Are you seriously not answering me? Do
you have any idea how childish that is?

I'm good with it. Goodbye.

No. You know what?
Hold on one second.

What? You're all
upset now about...

About crossing lines like
you're not all up in my shit?

You think I don't know where Alice
got that 15 minutes thing from?

Paul, you've been talking
to her behind my back.

Yeah? So what of it? You
got something to say?

Yeah. You know what, I do.

Thank you.

It's good.

Hey. Want some cake?

Liz sent it over to congratulate me
on acing an imaginary history paper.

Let's have some cake.

Paul?

Are you serious right now?

You should lock your car.
Any old psycho could get in.

Paul, you can't just be running around
Pasadena getting in Black women's Teslas.

You mind if I hitch a ride
to work with you from now on?

I-I passed my driver's test, but I...
But I wanna go out on my own terms.

Like a fucking hero.

- Do you wanna talk about it?
- I do not.

Hey, Paul. It's Jimmy.
Declining my calls again, huh?

And I get why you're freaked out. I
really do, but you're overreacting.

Alice and Sean are
getting along great.

I'm starting to feel better too.
My patients are really thriving.

Look, man, this thing I'm
doing is really working.

I'ma call you back.

Come on. Just come on.

Oh, shit.