Shrill (2019–…): Season 2, Episode 1 - Camp - full transcript
VERA: Are you liking
the thin menu?
I am loving it.
Six almonds keeps me full
for hours.
- Sometimes when I have
six almonds,
I feel like I had 12 almonds.
- You're cool with going out
the back again, right?
- Um...yeah.
[grunts]
- You know what?
I was just trying to help you,
you fat bitch.
- Annie, please go away.
You're a vital and tiny cog.
- Men do not
tell me what to do.
- 'Cause I'm the one
with the fat ass
and the big titties,
so I get to decide what we do.
- I want you to be
my girlfriend.
- Okay.
I don't know. I feel
very fucking powerful
right now.
At that even today,
there were so many people
living in their bodies
and enjoying their life,
and that shit was
un-fuckin'- believable.
You cheat on every woman
you date.
- [laughs]
- You're basically
the female Ryan.
Well, maybe just
take care of yourself.
- Hello?
Hey, Vera.
Vancouver?
GABE: What do you think
you're doing?
Seems like you think
this is your paper.
ANNIE: I don't really get
what you're upset about.
- You know, I think this
is gonna end badly
unless you just walk away
right now.
- I'm serious. I quit.
19,000 people clicked on it.
Holy hell.
You've found the location
of my troll.
- What are you doing here?
- You're the monster
who's been torturing me
every day.
- Fuck you!
- Fuck you!
- Hey, get the fuck
out of here!
Fuck you!
[alarm blaring]
You better run, you fat bitch!
[panting]
[exhales]
["Girlfriend" playing]
- What button do I press
to make the dinosaur
eat your head?
- Fuck you,
I'm not telling you that.
- [coughs]
- Would you go in
your fucking room?
You're gonna get us all sick.
- No.
My window's stuck open,
and bugs are rushing in.
- I'm a fucking bitch,
and I love it.
[screams]
TY: ♪ 'Cause she don't mind ♪
♪ Nothin', nothin' ♪
- What happened?
Are you okay?
- Yeah, I'm good.
I'm really fuckin' good.
I'm maybe the best
I've ever been in my life.
I found the guy
who's been trolling me online,
and I told him to fuck off.
And then I threw
a cement flower pot
right through his car window,
and he was so fucking mad!
- [sneezes]
- [screams]
- Ah!
- Shut the fuck up, Mike!
Go ahead, Annie.
- And then I was running
and he was chasing me
and he was screaming
and I ran all the way from
the fancy neighborhood here,
and I never run.
But I ran for so long.
And right now, honestly,
I feel like I could
fucking run forever.
Like, I feel insane
and amazing right now.
Fuck...yeah!
- That is the coolest thing
I have ever heard anybody do.
- [sneezes]
- Shut the fuck up!
- I can't help it!
- Hey, do not hold back
a sneeze
That is how my uncle
lost his eye.
- Wait, wait, did you--
you're bleeding?
Like, are you having
your period?
- No, no. I cut my hand
when I smashed
that fucking flower pot.
- That means you left your DNA
at the scene.
- Yeah, but he already knows
who I am.
- Then he might be after you.
- I mean, maybe.
I think I lost him
when I was running,
but I mean,
I did smash his car and--
and he did threaten to kill me
like, a thousand times
online.
TY: ♪ Nothin', nothin' ♪
Fuck.
I kinda think
we should leave town.
- Fuckin' definitely, yes.
- Yeah.
- I packed a go bag
for just this occasion.
ANNIE: Shit!
- And finally,
it's time for this.
ANNIE: [screams]
MIKE: What the fuck?
- Fuck! Do you even know
how to use that?
- No, but if I need to,
my animal instincts
will kick in.
We gotta go!
Aw, fuck!
I don't have my mom's car.
- Wait...
I have my mom's car.
TY: ♪ Nothin', nothin ♪
- This place is perfect.
It's real remote.
We used to go there
when I was in the Scouts,
and there was
never anybody there.
- I mean, we're doing
the right thing right?
Like, leaving town?
I just--
you know, I quit my job
and now we're going camping.
Is this insane?
- No, it's not insane.
No, no, no. We're doing
the right thing, okay?
You're not running
away from anything.
You're running
towards yourself.
- Yeah, exactly.
I mean, it actually feels,
like, very, very good
to be, you know,
a little bit fuckin' bad.
- Yes! That's what I'm saying.
- Wait a minute.
- What?
- Oh, my God.
The ultimate.
- Oh.
- Hold on.
["It's All Coming Back
to Me Now" playing]
- Oh, perfect.
CELINE:
♪ There were moments of gold ♪
♪ And there were
flashes of light ♪
- ♪ There were things
I'd never do again ♪
♪ But then they'd always
seem right ♪
♪ There were nights
of endless pleasure ♪
♪ It was more
than any laws allow ♪
Yes!
[together]
♪ Baby, baby ♪
♪ If I kiss you like this ♪
♪ And if you whisper
like that ♪
♪ It was lost long ago ♪
♪ But it's all
coming back to me ♪
- ♪ I can barely resist ♪
- ♪ Resist ♪
♪ But it's all
coming back to me ♪
♪ I can barely recall ♪
♪ But it's all coming back ♪
♪ To me now ♪
♪ ♪
- Pete's mom had all
this stuff in the car.
You think it's okay
if I wear it, right?
- Yeah. You look way better
than Mrs. Liu.
- Aw, I love a compliment
that's mean to a mom.
[both chuckle]
- All right, there you go.
Welcome to your new home.
- Wow. So this is
where we're gonna sleep.
But then, does a tent
go around this?
- Uh, no.
No tents when you're camping.
That's why when you lie down,
you can see the stars.
- Oh, that's actually
a really good answer.
[chuckles]
- All right,
let's see what we got here.
- Mm.
- Wait a second.
I thought I packed
more food than this.
I can use the gun
and go shoot a raccoon.
- Oh, no, I'm--
I'm actually very content.
So-- but is there, like,
a bathroom
or an outhouse or something?
- Yeah, there's an outhouse.
All of this. Nature.
Just go out in the
woods a little bit.
- Oh, I don't know.
It looks kinda scary.
Um, can I just go
right here?
I don't think
that's a good idea.
It's the middle
of our new home.
- Yeah, I'm--
I'm not going out
in those woods alone, so--
I, uh, I don't think I can pee
with you this close to me.
I can go back.
- No, no.
Don't-- don't go.
Just stay here.
- What if I just pee here
with you?
- Ew.
[urinating]
[urinating]
It's working.
[light music]
[Annie chuckles]
♪ ♪
- [exhales]
Where the fuck is she?
[typing]
[dog whines]
- I never thought
I'd be with someone like you.
- Thank you?
I think.
- I mean someone
who speaks their mind.
Like, my dad could be
such a dick.
Especially to my mom.
And she never said anything.
But you're not like that.
You push back.
- Yeah, but pushing back
is really hard.
I mean, I never used to do it.
But then, I guess I just got
to a point where, like,
it was harder
not to say something.
You know?
Like, even with you.
- Hm.
- But then you got a lot better
at appreciating me,
which is a big deal.
- I always appreciated you.
I was just too much
of a dumbass to say it.
But it wasn't just you,
it was...
everyone.
I guess that's why I never had
a real girlfriend before you.
- What? I don't believe that.
- [scoffs]
- I feel like when I met you,
your whole deal was like
you might fuck anyone
at any time.
- Well, I did drop a lot
of dick around town.
- Oh, my God.
- But I've never, like,
gone all of the way in--
like, emotions and stuff.
Yeah, you're my first
real girlfriend.
- Okay.
Can I tell you
something honestly?
- Mm.
- You're my first
real boyfriend.
- No fuckin' way.
- Yeah.
Yeah, I mean,
I would hook up with people
and have big,
debilitatingly painful
crushes on people, but...
never anything else.
- Hm.
I mean, I--
I didn't wanna get rejected,
so I just took
what I could get.
- Oh, Annie.
[light music]
♪ ♪
- [groans]
Morning.
- Hi.
- Mm.
Hm.
Let me go down on you.
- What?
No. Oh, my God.
I slept in my clothes,
I haven't showered.
I have, like, a full,
two-day pussy right now.
Like, I feel like
I won't be able to enjoy it.
Like, I'll be in my head.
- I have, like,
a four-day dick right now.
- [laughs]
- I honestly don't care.
I'd just really, really
appreciate it
if you'd let me.
- Okay,
out here in the open?
- Yeah.
Definitely.
- Okay.
Yeah.
- Mm.
You sure?
- Yeah.
- Mm.
- Mm.
RYAN: Ohh.
- [exhales sharply]
[both moan]
- [panting]
- [singing voices approaching]
[Ryan moans]
- Wait. Ryan.
Someone's coming.
- You are?
- No, no, no.
Look, kids.
- Oh, fuck!
SCOUTS: ♪ Like apple pie ♪
- Oh, my God.
[singing continues]
RYAN: Come on!
- I'm going.
[singing]
RYAN: Oh, my God.
GABE: Hey, before we wrap up,
I'd like to say something.
I know many of you witnessed
the scene yesterday
when Annie stormed out of here
like she was my hormonal
teenage daughter.
- But she's not.
That's me.
- May I remind you that despite
the fracture that occurred,
that we remain a team
here at "The Thorn."
- Yes, and that is why
I have decided
to quit too, Gabe.
Out of solidarity with Annie,
I feel that I cannot
stand idly by.
Sorry.
I'm stupid. I'm bad.
- As I was saying,
this kind of entitled,
narcissistic
me, me, me, behavior
will not be tolerated here
anymore.
- Okay, well, I think
that that might've been
a little bit of
a breakdown in communication.
Nobody was really innocent--
GABE: I--
I don't think I finished.
There's no excuse
for this kind of outburst,
for the kind
that Annie perpetrated
upon our safe,
nurturing workplace, okay?
From now on,
no more dramatic exits.
- Cool.
Lovin' this new supportive
work environment, right?
- Uh, yeah,
I think it is kinda cool.
- Were you at
that fuckin' meeting?
- Uh, yeah, man.
It was great.
Uh, you know, I loved Annie,
but you know, she was cliquey.
Man, you know what?
She's gone right now,
so it's cool.
Maybe that means
that you and I can get closer.
So, uh...
wanna grab a bite later?
- I wish I could,
but I gotta--
- Ohh.
- Which way you heading?
- Well, I'm--
- You heading that way?
- Yeah.
- I gotta go this way.
- So you're gonna--
I'll cross.
- I wish I could, though.
- Right.
[light music]
ANNIE: Hey.
Thanks again
for letting me
use your charger, Stephanie.
This is very cool of you.
- You didn't really
give me much of a choice.
- Yeah, I know that,
but I'm thanking you now, so...
kinda evens out, right?
- Man, I hope I didn't
leave that gun at the campsite.
Kids might take it.
No, no, no.
Hey, I don't have my gun.
[phone chimes]
- Wait, shh.
BILL: Hey, honey. It's Dad.
So weird turn of events here.
Mom went to Vancouver,
and she didn't tell me why.
Just wondering
if you'd talked to her.
- Vancouver.
BILL: Honey, it's been
a couple hours.
I still haven't
heard from her or you.
I get a little worried
when I can't find my girls.
Call me back.
- Oh, my God. Okay.
We have to leave right now.
Um, I'm very sorry.
I'm normally a clean woman,
okay?
But, um, sir, and ma'am,
and small sir and Stephanie,
my boyfriend and I
are gonna leave right now.
- He's your boyfriend?
- Her very first boyfriend.
- Yeah, but Stephanie,
I've-- I've dated before.
Ad-- additionally,
I've also had sex.
Bye.
Excuse me.
- Oh, there it is.
- God damn it.
Why is my dad not picking up?
- It's gonna be okay, Annie.
- I-- I feel like I caused this
because I told my mom
to take care of herself
or whatever, and all I meant
was just take a bath.
- No, look, we're gonna
be home in, like an hour.
We'll figure it out.
[phone chimes]
Ooh, I got a voicemail.
BOSS: Hey Ryan,
you're a total fuckhead idiot.
You missed another shift.
You're fucking fired.
- Oh, shit.
- Oh, no. I'm sorry.
See, like, I feel like
this is all my fault.
- No, it's okay. We're gonna be
unemployed together,
which is romantic.
- God, why is this guy
going 20 in a 40 zone?
Fucking go, you big white bus
piece of shit!
I will ram you down
to fucking hell! Fuck!
- [blows]
- Oh, Jesus.
- Hi, Amadi.
Uh, I was thinking
now that Annie's gone
that you probably need
a new work wife now.
- Mm--
- Uh, and I was thinking
that maybe
that could be me.
- What?
- Come on,
we could do really fun
work wife stuff together.
Like, we could throw
a pigskin around.
Or we could talk crap.
Or, um, I could get you porn.
Or you could help me
ride a bike.
- Okay, that sounds awesome,
all of that.
But I got a wife right now.
I'm pretty wifed up.
- Then-- well,
it's not up to you.
'Cause I'm your work wife now.
Fuck.
- Then why'd you even ask?
- Because I'm polite.
And just so you know,
Gabe asked me
to send you to his office,
like, 20 minutes ago.
He's been waiting
this whole time.
He's gonna be
so, so, so pissed
when he sees you.
- Okay, thanks, Ruthie.
- Yeah, it's nice to be married
in the office now.
Right, Daddy?
Yeah, you're my dad.
'Cause I view husbands as dads.
Mm.
- That's nasty.
- Hey, Gabe. Um, I wanted
to say that I'm sorry
for leaving when Annie quit.
- Relax, Amadi.
That's not what this is about.
- Oh. What's up
- Amadi...do people like me?
- What-- what people?
- People in the office.
- Am I liked?
- Yeah.
- What?
- Yes. Yes, you are.
- I don't believe you.
- It's true.
- You're lying.
There's a change.
People are very cold
to me right now.
You know, this morning
I asked Angus
if he wanted to jam
on the bass,
and you know what he did?
He was like--
- yeah, well,
people are still freaked out
about the whole Annie thing.
- When did this job
get so hard?
I used to be Annie.
I used to be the disruptor.
And now what am I?
The big, gay money man,
you know, bulldozing
the community center
for his personal golf course?
- Well, that's being the boss.
You gotta be the good cop
and the bad cop.
- I don't wanna--
I don't wanna be bad cop.
- Mm.
- What?
- I have just decided
to promote you.
- Wh-- really? To what?
- To managing
executive director of whatever.
It doesn't matter.
- Is this real?
- This is real.
I'm gonna give you a raise,
and you're gonna spend it
on your loud, blonde wife
and beautiful sons.
- Daughters.
- Congratulations.
And you are going to be
day-to-day management.
You're gonna handle
hiring and firing,
nickeling and fuckin' diming.
Freeing me up
for my natural role
as creative iconoclast dreamer.
- Shit, I--
I don't know what to say, Gabe.
I-- thank you
- You know they used to call me
the Original Prince
of the Gutter Punks.
- I didn't know that, but yeah,
that-- that-- that feels real.
- Yeah!
- Yeah. This is sick.
Uh, shit, we're gonna make
a great team.
- All right.
- All right.
- All right!
- Paper, I win.
Look at that.
- Paper over rock.
- Yeah. [laughs]
- You win. You're the man now.
- I hate that term,
but I love money, baby.
[rock music]
♪ ♪
- Ron?
- Annie!
- What the shit?
- [laughs]
- Mr. Easton, I'm a huge fan
of your daughter.
- No, this is not my dad.
This is Ron,
my dad's jazz friend.
- Where is my dad?
- Hey, Annie,
long time, no see.
Hey, wait, wait.
Can I hug you,
or are you gonna Me Too me?
- Oh. Yeah.
- [laughs] Come on,
let's hook up the hog.
- Okay. Okay.
- Hey, I'm heating up
some thin menus,
you guys hungry?
- No, no.
I just-- I'm looking for my dad.
- All right.
- Dad?
- [laughs] Here.
- Dad, what is happening?
- Holy shit. Annie.
Finally.
I called you over and over.
- I-- I know.
I'm sorry,
and I did get your messages.
And I tried to call you.
- Well, not hard enough.
Jesus Christ. You've scared
the shit out of me.
- Okay, I'm sorry.
So Mom went to Vancouver?
Did she say why?
- No, she just--
she just said she's gone.
- That's insane. I don't--
And why is Ron here?
- Well, Ron is here because
Ron answers his telephone.
- Okay.
- Oh, my God.
- Fran?
- Yeah, we got Fran
hangin' with us.
- Oh, yeah, Fran's hanging
because your dad called me
and didn't know where you were
and we thought
you were murdered,
but thank God you're alive
and just inconsiderate.
- I'm sorry.
We didn't have any service.
- We.
- Yeah--
- Who are you?
Am I completely out of the loop
on every God damn thing
in this family?
- Well, okay, this isn't
how I imagined this moment,
but Dad, this is
my boyfriend, Ryan.
BILL: Your boyfriend.
Jeez, okay.
- I know this isn't,
like, a good time,
um, uh, but I just wanna say
Annie is such a good woman.
- Ryan, you're
a very, very lucky guy.
- I can't believe
I didn't know this.
- Very.
- Fran, do you know
this Ryan?
- No. Are you the guy
who was cutting women's
pony tails off on the bus?
- No.
- My God.
[smoke alarm beeping]
- Grub's on!
BILL: Oh, jeez.
ANNIE: What?
Did you put the boxes in
at 500 degrees?
RON: I am not a chef.
[laughs]
- Fine, but, Dad, no, no.
You're gonna hurt yourself.
- Calm down.
I'm not a hundred years old.
- Yeah, okay,
but you've been sick, you know.
- You're overreacting. It's--
- Fine--
- Whoa!
- Oh!
- Don't shoot, you fuck!
- All right,
everybody take it slow.
- [grunts]
- [Annie yelps]
- Yeah, man!
That is what I'm talking about!
Whoo!
- What the fuck?
- I needed something metal
to bash the fucker.
- Annie, your boyfriend
has a gun?
- Only because we were camping.
It's fine.
Everybody just calm down.
- Well, it doesn't seem fine!
Fuck.
Is that blood on your dress?
- Yes.
But it's...
Because I got my period.
- Yes, and that's how
periods work.
So we should get you changed.
- Yes.
- And can I talk to you
for a sec?
ANNIE: Yeah.
- This is psychotic.
My mom just up and left?
Truly,
is everyone off the rails?
- What's going on?
Why did you have blood
on yourself?
- Well, I went last night
to confront my troll
at his house.
- When? Alone?
That's fucking scary
and stupid.
Honestly, it sounds like
you're the one
who's off the rails.
- What?
I'm not off the rails.
I am the rails.
- Okay, slow down.
You did something dangerous,
and then you and Ryan
just ran away from it all.
I had to come all the way here
and miss a hair appointment
today.
You couldn't even text me
or your dad.
Think about that.
- Yeah, I mean,
I went to Ryan
because he's my boyfriend
and he actually supports me
about the stuff
that I care about in my life.
- Yeah, or you knew he was
the only person
who wouldn't question you.
- I mean...maybe. Yes.
But Fran, I'm--
I'm really sorry.
Like, I know that I've been
a piece of shit
and a really bad friend.
- I don't wanna fight with you,
Annie,
but you can't just disappear
and then leave me
to clear up all your mess.
You have to be my friend, too.
- I know, I know.
I'm just--
I'm trying to be the person
that I actually wanna be.
- And is this who you wanna be?
- [laughs]
Absolutely not.
- [laughs]
- This is a nightmare.
Not at all.
- Oh, you smell horrible.
- Yeah, I really do.
- [laughs] Yeah.
- Ryan went down on
my two-day puss in the woods.
- That's good, but call me
when he eats your ass.
[both laugh]
[door opens]
- Hey, your mom's on the phone.
- Oh, shit.
- Okay. Good.
They actually let you pet them.
Well, wow.
- Wh-- when's she coming back?
- Good.
Okay.
Yeah, we'll see you soon.
I love you, too.
Okay, well, I feel better.
- What happened?
- She's in Vancouver.
She said she needed a break
from the stress
She wanted
to recharge her batteries.
- That's it?
You didn't get anything else?
- I don't know.
That's all she said.
It's fine.
It's between her and me.
The family drama's over, okay?
Everybody can head on out.
I'm gonna hang out with Ron,
and you can go back to work.
- Yeah, I'll stay awake
if you need me.
- Um, actually, I quit my job.
- Annie, you didn't.
- What?
- Yes, I did.
- Cool, right?
- Well, this is exactly
the kind of stress
I don't need.
I don't understand.
What happened?
- Well, my boss--
he-- he wasn't letting me do,
you know, what I wanna do.
- Which is every boss on earth
in every job on earth.
What is going on with you?
- Look, Dad, you know,
this is a good thing.
I'm shaking my shit up
a little bit.
You know, taking a chance
on myself.
I think I'm actually
figuring things out.
- That was a great job, Annie.
And you were doing so well.
What are you gonna do now?
- Listen, Bill,
when you're young
you take risks
and do crazy shit.
Once, on a dare, I kissed
a dead dog on the road.
And look at me now.
I got this.
Your daughter's got it, too.
Right, Annie?
- Yeah. I got this.
I got this.
I-- I got this.
["Bad Dance" playing]
CORIN: ♪ And if the world
is ending now ♪
♪ Then let's dance
the bad dance ♪
♪ We've been rehearsing
our whole lives ♪
♪ Well, don't just
stand there ♪
♪ Why don't you
follow me around ♪
♪ My truth is slack and loose ♪
♪ My morals are unsound ♪
♪ Well, I'm amusing,
I'm amazing ♪
♪ I'm impure ♪
♪ Dip your toes
into the chaos ♪
♪ It'll feel just like a cure ♪
♪ And if the world
is ending now ♪
♪ We've been rehearsing
our whole lives ♪
♪ And if we're all
going down in flames ♪
♪ Then let's scream
then let's scream ♪
♪ We've been rehearsing
our whole lives ♪
the thin menu?
I am loving it.
Six almonds keeps me full
for hours.
- Sometimes when I have
six almonds,
I feel like I had 12 almonds.
- You're cool with going out
the back again, right?
- Um...yeah.
[grunts]
- You know what?
I was just trying to help you,
you fat bitch.
- Annie, please go away.
You're a vital and tiny cog.
- Men do not
tell me what to do.
- 'Cause I'm the one
with the fat ass
and the big titties,
so I get to decide what we do.
- I want you to be
my girlfriend.
- Okay.
I don't know. I feel
very fucking powerful
right now.
At that even today,
there were so many people
living in their bodies
and enjoying their life,
and that shit was
un-fuckin'- believable.
You cheat on every woman
you date.
- [laughs]
- You're basically
the female Ryan.
Well, maybe just
take care of yourself.
- Hello?
Hey, Vera.
Vancouver?
GABE: What do you think
you're doing?
Seems like you think
this is your paper.
ANNIE: I don't really get
what you're upset about.
- You know, I think this
is gonna end badly
unless you just walk away
right now.
- I'm serious. I quit.
19,000 people clicked on it.
Holy hell.
You've found the location
of my troll.
- What are you doing here?
- You're the monster
who's been torturing me
every day.
- Fuck you!
- Fuck you!
- Hey, get the fuck
out of here!
Fuck you!
[alarm blaring]
You better run, you fat bitch!
[panting]
[exhales]
["Girlfriend" playing]
- What button do I press
to make the dinosaur
eat your head?
- Fuck you,
I'm not telling you that.
- [coughs]
- Would you go in
your fucking room?
You're gonna get us all sick.
- No.
My window's stuck open,
and bugs are rushing in.
- I'm a fucking bitch,
and I love it.
[screams]
TY: ♪ 'Cause she don't mind ♪
♪ Nothin', nothin' ♪
- What happened?
Are you okay?
- Yeah, I'm good.
I'm really fuckin' good.
I'm maybe the best
I've ever been in my life.
I found the guy
who's been trolling me online,
and I told him to fuck off.
And then I threw
a cement flower pot
right through his car window,
and he was so fucking mad!
- [sneezes]
- [screams]
- Ah!
- Shut the fuck up, Mike!
Go ahead, Annie.
- And then I was running
and he was chasing me
and he was screaming
and I ran all the way from
the fancy neighborhood here,
and I never run.
But I ran for so long.
And right now, honestly,
I feel like I could
fucking run forever.
Like, I feel insane
and amazing right now.
Fuck...yeah!
- That is the coolest thing
I have ever heard anybody do.
- [sneezes]
- Shut the fuck up!
- I can't help it!
- Hey, do not hold back
a sneeze
That is how my uncle
lost his eye.
- Wait, wait, did you--
you're bleeding?
Like, are you having
your period?
- No, no. I cut my hand
when I smashed
that fucking flower pot.
- That means you left your DNA
at the scene.
- Yeah, but he already knows
who I am.
- Then he might be after you.
- I mean, maybe.
I think I lost him
when I was running,
but I mean,
I did smash his car and--
and he did threaten to kill me
like, a thousand times
online.
TY: ♪ Nothin', nothin' ♪
Fuck.
I kinda think
we should leave town.
- Fuckin' definitely, yes.
- Yeah.
- I packed a go bag
for just this occasion.
ANNIE: Shit!
- And finally,
it's time for this.
ANNIE: [screams]
MIKE: What the fuck?
- Fuck! Do you even know
how to use that?
- No, but if I need to,
my animal instincts
will kick in.
We gotta go!
Aw, fuck!
I don't have my mom's car.
- Wait...
I have my mom's car.
TY: ♪ Nothin', nothin ♪
- This place is perfect.
It's real remote.
We used to go there
when I was in the Scouts,
and there was
never anybody there.
- I mean, we're doing
the right thing right?
Like, leaving town?
I just--
you know, I quit my job
and now we're going camping.
Is this insane?
- No, it's not insane.
No, no, no. We're doing
the right thing, okay?
You're not running
away from anything.
You're running
towards yourself.
- Yeah, exactly.
I mean, it actually feels,
like, very, very good
to be, you know,
a little bit fuckin' bad.
- Yes! That's what I'm saying.
- Wait a minute.
- What?
- Oh, my God.
The ultimate.
- Oh.
- Hold on.
["It's All Coming Back
to Me Now" playing]
- Oh, perfect.
CELINE:
♪ There were moments of gold ♪
♪ And there were
flashes of light ♪
- ♪ There were things
I'd never do again ♪
♪ But then they'd always
seem right ♪
♪ There were nights
of endless pleasure ♪
♪ It was more
than any laws allow ♪
Yes!
[together]
♪ Baby, baby ♪
♪ If I kiss you like this ♪
♪ And if you whisper
like that ♪
♪ It was lost long ago ♪
♪ But it's all
coming back to me ♪
- ♪ I can barely resist ♪
- ♪ Resist ♪
♪ But it's all
coming back to me ♪
♪ I can barely recall ♪
♪ But it's all coming back ♪
♪ To me now ♪
♪ ♪
- Pete's mom had all
this stuff in the car.
You think it's okay
if I wear it, right?
- Yeah. You look way better
than Mrs. Liu.
- Aw, I love a compliment
that's mean to a mom.
[both chuckle]
- All right, there you go.
Welcome to your new home.
- Wow. So this is
where we're gonna sleep.
But then, does a tent
go around this?
- Uh, no.
No tents when you're camping.
That's why when you lie down,
you can see the stars.
- Oh, that's actually
a really good answer.
[chuckles]
- All right,
let's see what we got here.
- Mm.
- Wait a second.
I thought I packed
more food than this.
I can use the gun
and go shoot a raccoon.
- Oh, no, I'm--
I'm actually very content.
So-- but is there, like,
a bathroom
or an outhouse or something?
- Yeah, there's an outhouse.
All of this. Nature.
Just go out in the
woods a little bit.
- Oh, I don't know.
It looks kinda scary.
Um, can I just go
right here?
I don't think
that's a good idea.
It's the middle
of our new home.
- Yeah, I'm--
I'm not going out
in those woods alone, so--
I, uh, I don't think I can pee
with you this close to me.
I can go back.
- No, no.
Don't-- don't go.
Just stay here.
- What if I just pee here
with you?
- Ew.
[urinating]
[urinating]
It's working.
[light music]
[Annie chuckles]
♪ ♪
- [exhales]
Where the fuck is she?
[typing]
[dog whines]
- I never thought
I'd be with someone like you.
- Thank you?
I think.
- I mean someone
who speaks their mind.
Like, my dad could be
such a dick.
Especially to my mom.
And she never said anything.
But you're not like that.
You push back.
- Yeah, but pushing back
is really hard.
I mean, I never used to do it.
But then, I guess I just got
to a point where, like,
it was harder
not to say something.
You know?
Like, even with you.
- Hm.
- But then you got a lot better
at appreciating me,
which is a big deal.
- I always appreciated you.
I was just too much
of a dumbass to say it.
But it wasn't just you,
it was...
everyone.
I guess that's why I never had
a real girlfriend before you.
- What? I don't believe that.
- [scoffs]
- I feel like when I met you,
your whole deal was like
you might fuck anyone
at any time.
- Well, I did drop a lot
of dick around town.
- Oh, my God.
- But I've never, like,
gone all of the way in--
like, emotions and stuff.
Yeah, you're my first
real girlfriend.
- Okay.
Can I tell you
something honestly?
- Mm.
- You're my first
real boyfriend.
- No fuckin' way.
- Yeah.
Yeah, I mean,
I would hook up with people
and have big,
debilitatingly painful
crushes on people, but...
never anything else.
- Hm.
I mean, I--
I didn't wanna get rejected,
so I just took
what I could get.
- Oh, Annie.
[light music]
♪ ♪
- [groans]
Morning.
- Hi.
- Mm.
Hm.
Let me go down on you.
- What?
No. Oh, my God.
I slept in my clothes,
I haven't showered.
I have, like, a full,
two-day pussy right now.
Like, I feel like
I won't be able to enjoy it.
Like, I'll be in my head.
- I have, like,
a four-day dick right now.
- [laughs]
- I honestly don't care.
I'd just really, really
appreciate it
if you'd let me.
- Okay,
out here in the open?
- Yeah.
Definitely.
- Okay.
Yeah.
- Mm.
You sure?
- Yeah.
- Mm.
- Mm.
RYAN: Ohh.
- [exhales sharply]
[both moan]
- [panting]
- [singing voices approaching]
[Ryan moans]
- Wait. Ryan.
Someone's coming.
- You are?
- No, no, no.
Look, kids.
- Oh, fuck!
SCOUTS: ♪ Like apple pie ♪
- Oh, my God.
[singing continues]
RYAN: Come on!
- I'm going.
[singing]
RYAN: Oh, my God.
GABE: Hey, before we wrap up,
I'd like to say something.
I know many of you witnessed
the scene yesterday
when Annie stormed out of here
like she was my hormonal
teenage daughter.
- But she's not.
That's me.
- May I remind you that despite
the fracture that occurred,
that we remain a team
here at "The Thorn."
- Yes, and that is why
I have decided
to quit too, Gabe.
Out of solidarity with Annie,
I feel that I cannot
stand idly by.
Sorry.
I'm stupid. I'm bad.
- As I was saying,
this kind of entitled,
narcissistic
me, me, me, behavior
will not be tolerated here
anymore.
- Okay, well, I think
that that might've been
a little bit of
a breakdown in communication.
Nobody was really innocent--
GABE: I--
I don't think I finished.
There's no excuse
for this kind of outburst,
for the kind
that Annie perpetrated
upon our safe,
nurturing workplace, okay?
From now on,
no more dramatic exits.
- Cool.
Lovin' this new supportive
work environment, right?
- Uh, yeah,
I think it is kinda cool.
- Were you at
that fuckin' meeting?
- Uh, yeah, man.
It was great.
Uh, you know, I loved Annie,
but you know, she was cliquey.
Man, you know what?
She's gone right now,
so it's cool.
Maybe that means
that you and I can get closer.
So, uh...
wanna grab a bite later?
- I wish I could,
but I gotta--
- Ohh.
- Which way you heading?
- Well, I'm--
- You heading that way?
- Yeah.
- I gotta go this way.
- So you're gonna--
I'll cross.
- I wish I could, though.
- Right.
[light music]
ANNIE: Hey.
Thanks again
for letting me
use your charger, Stephanie.
This is very cool of you.
- You didn't really
give me much of a choice.
- Yeah, I know that,
but I'm thanking you now, so...
kinda evens out, right?
- Man, I hope I didn't
leave that gun at the campsite.
Kids might take it.
No, no, no.
Hey, I don't have my gun.
[phone chimes]
- Wait, shh.
BILL: Hey, honey. It's Dad.
So weird turn of events here.
Mom went to Vancouver,
and she didn't tell me why.
Just wondering
if you'd talked to her.
- Vancouver.
BILL: Honey, it's been
a couple hours.
I still haven't
heard from her or you.
I get a little worried
when I can't find my girls.
Call me back.
- Oh, my God. Okay.
We have to leave right now.
Um, I'm very sorry.
I'm normally a clean woman,
okay?
But, um, sir, and ma'am,
and small sir and Stephanie,
my boyfriend and I
are gonna leave right now.
- He's your boyfriend?
- Her very first boyfriend.
- Yeah, but Stephanie,
I've-- I've dated before.
Ad-- additionally,
I've also had sex.
Bye.
Excuse me.
- Oh, there it is.
- God damn it.
Why is my dad not picking up?
- It's gonna be okay, Annie.
- I-- I feel like I caused this
because I told my mom
to take care of herself
or whatever, and all I meant
was just take a bath.
- No, look, we're gonna
be home in, like an hour.
We'll figure it out.
[phone chimes]
Ooh, I got a voicemail.
BOSS: Hey Ryan,
you're a total fuckhead idiot.
You missed another shift.
You're fucking fired.
- Oh, shit.
- Oh, no. I'm sorry.
See, like, I feel like
this is all my fault.
- No, it's okay. We're gonna be
unemployed together,
which is romantic.
- God, why is this guy
going 20 in a 40 zone?
Fucking go, you big white bus
piece of shit!
I will ram you down
to fucking hell! Fuck!
- [blows]
- Oh, Jesus.
- Hi, Amadi.
Uh, I was thinking
now that Annie's gone
that you probably need
a new work wife now.
- Mm--
- Uh, and I was thinking
that maybe
that could be me.
- What?
- Come on,
we could do really fun
work wife stuff together.
Like, we could throw
a pigskin around.
Or we could talk crap.
Or, um, I could get you porn.
Or you could help me
ride a bike.
- Okay, that sounds awesome,
all of that.
But I got a wife right now.
I'm pretty wifed up.
- Then-- well,
it's not up to you.
'Cause I'm your work wife now.
Fuck.
- Then why'd you even ask?
- Because I'm polite.
And just so you know,
Gabe asked me
to send you to his office,
like, 20 minutes ago.
He's been waiting
this whole time.
He's gonna be
so, so, so pissed
when he sees you.
- Okay, thanks, Ruthie.
- Yeah, it's nice to be married
in the office now.
Right, Daddy?
Yeah, you're my dad.
'Cause I view husbands as dads.
Mm.
- That's nasty.
- Hey, Gabe. Um, I wanted
to say that I'm sorry
for leaving when Annie quit.
- Relax, Amadi.
That's not what this is about.
- Oh. What's up
- Amadi...do people like me?
- What-- what people?
- People in the office.
- Am I liked?
- Yeah.
- What?
- Yes. Yes, you are.
- I don't believe you.
- It's true.
- You're lying.
There's a change.
People are very cold
to me right now.
You know, this morning
I asked Angus
if he wanted to jam
on the bass,
and you know what he did?
He was like--
- yeah, well,
people are still freaked out
about the whole Annie thing.
- When did this job
get so hard?
I used to be Annie.
I used to be the disruptor.
And now what am I?
The big, gay money man,
you know, bulldozing
the community center
for his personal golf course?
- Well, that's being the boss.
You gotta be the good cop
and the bad cop.
- I don't wanna--
I don't wanna be bad cop.
- Mm.
- What?
- I have just decided
to promote you.
- Wh-- really? To what?
- To managing
executive director of whatever.
It doesn't matter.
- Is this real?
- This is real.
I'm gonna give you a raise,
and you're gonna spend it
on your loud, blonde wife
and beautiful sons.
- Daughters.
- Congratulations.
And you are going to be
day-to-day management.
You're gonna handle
hiring and firing,
nickeling and fuckin' diming.
Freeing me up
for my natural role
as creative iconoclast dreamer.
- Shit, I--
I don't know what to say, Gabe.
I-- thank you
- You know they used to call me
the Original Prince
of the Gutter Punks.
- I didn't know that, but yeah,
that-- that-- that feels real.
- Yeah!
- Yeah. This is sick.
Uh, shit, we're gonna make
a great team.
- All right.
- All right.
- All right!
- Paper, I win.
Look at that.
- Paper over rock.
- Yeah. [laughs]
- You win. You're the man now.
- I hate that term,
but I love money, baby.
[rock music]
♪ ♪
- Ron?
- Annie!
- What the shit?
- [laughs]
- Mr. Easton, I'm a huge fan
of your daughter.
- No, this is not my dad.
This is Ron,
my dad's jazz friend.
- Where is my dad?
- Hey, Annie,
long time, no see.
Hey, wait, wait.
Can I hug you,
or are you gonna Me Too me?
- Oh. Yeah.
- [laughs] Come on,
let's hook up the hog.
- Okay. Okay.
- Hey, I'm heating up
some thin menus,
you guys hungry?
- No, no.
I just-- I'm looking for my dad.
- All right.
- Dad?
- [laughs] Here.
- Dad, what is happening?
- Holy shit. Annie.
Finally.
I called you over and over.
- I-- I know.
I'm sorry,
and I did get your messages.
And I tried to call you.
- Well, not hard enough.
Jesus Christ. You've scared
the shit out of me.
- Okay, I'm sorry.
So Mom went to Vancouver?
Did she say why?
- No, she just--
she just said she's gone.
- That's insane. I don't--
And why is Ron here?
- Well, Ron is here because
Ron answers his telephone.
- Okay.
- Oh, my God.
- Fran?
- Yeah, we got Fran
hangin' with us.
- Oh, yeah, Fran's hanging
because your dad called me
and didn't know where you were
and we thought
you were murdered,
but thank God you're alive
and just inconsiderate.
- I'm sorry.
We didn't have any service.
- We.
- Yeah--
- Who are you?
Am I completely out of the loop
on every God damn thing
in this family?
- Well, okay, this isn't
how I imagined this moment,
but Dad, this is
my boyfriend, Ryan.
BILL: Your boyfriend.
Jeez, okay.
- I know this isn't,
like, a good time,
um, uh, but I just wanna say
Annie is such a good woman.
- Ryan, you're
a very, very lucky guy.
- I can't believe
I didn't know this.
- Very.
- Fran, do you know
this Ryan?
- No. Are you the guy
who was cutting women's
pony tails off on the bus?
- No.
- My God.
[smoke alarm beeping]
- Grub's on!
BILL: Oh, jeez.
ANNIE: What?
Did you put the boxes in
at 500 degrees?
RON: I am not a chef.
[laughs]
- Fine, but, Dad, no, no.
You're gonna hurt yourself.
- Calm down.
I'm not a hundred years old.
- Yeah, okay,
but you've been sick, you know.
- You're overreacting. It's--
- Fine--
- Whoa!
- Oh!
- Don't shoot, you fuck!
- All right,
everybody take it slow.
- [grunts]
- [Annie yelps]
- Yeah, man!
That is what I'm talking about!
Whoo!
- What the fuck?
- I needed something metal
to bash the fucker.
- Annie, your boyfriend
has a gun?
- Only because we were camping.
It's fine.
Everybody just calm down.
- Well, it doesn't seem fine!
Fuck.
Is that blood on your dress?
- Yes.
But it's...
Because I got my period.
- Yes, and that's how
periods work.
So we should get you changed.
- Yes.
- And can I talk to you
for a sec?
ANNIE: Yeah.
- This is psychotic.
My mom just up and left?
Truly,
is everyone off the rails?
- What's going on?
Why did you have blood
on yourself?
- Well, I went last night
to confront my troll
at his house.
- When? Alone?
That's fucking scary
and stupid.
Honestly, it sounds like
you're the one
who's off the rails.
- What?
I'm not off the rails.
I am the rails.
- Okay, slow down.
You did something dangerous,
and then you and Ryan
just ran away from it all.
I had to come all the way here
and miss a hair appointment
today.
You couldn't even text me
or your dad.
Think about that.
- Yeah, I mean,
I went to Ryan
because he's my boyfriend
and he actually supports me
about the stuff
that I care about in my life.
- Yeah, or you knew he was
the only person
who wouldn't question you.
- I mean...maybe. Yes.
But Fran, I'm--
I'm really sorry.
Like, I know that I've been
a piece of shit
and a really bad friend.
- I don't wanna fight with you,
Annie,
but you can't just disappear
and then leave me
to clear up all your mess.
You have to be my friend, too.
- I know, I know.
I'm just--
I'm trying to be the person
that I actually wanna be.
- And is this who you wanna be?
- [laughs]
Absolutely not.
- [laughs]
- This is a nightmare.
Not at all.
- Oh, you smell horrible.
- Yeah, I really do.
- [laughs] Yeah.
- Ryan went down on
my two-day puss in the woods.
- That's good, but call me
when he eats your ass.
[both laugh]
[door opens]
- Hey, your mom's on the phone.
- Oh, shit.
- Okay. Good.
They actually let you pet them.
Well, wow.
- Wh-- when's she coming back?
- Good.
Okay.
Yeah, we'll see you soon.
I love you, too.
Okay, well, I feel better.
- What happened?
- She's in Vancouver.
She said she needed a break
from the stress
She wanted
to recharge her batteries.
- That's it?
You didn't get anything else?
- I don't know.
That's all she said.
It's fine.
It's between her and me.
The family drama's over, okay?
Everybody can head on out.
I'm gonna hang out with Ron,
and you can go back to work.
- Yeah, I'll stay awake
if you need me.
- Um, actually, I quit my job.
- Annie, you didn't.
- What?
- Yes, I did.
- Cool, right?
- Well, this is exactly
the kind of stress
I don't need.
I don't understand.
What happened?
- Well, my boss--
he-- he wasn't letting me do,
you know, what I wanna do.
- Which is every boss on earth
in every job on earth.
What is going on with you?
- Look, Dad, you know,
this is a good thing.
I'm shaking my shit up
a little bit.
You know, taking a chance
on myself.
I think I'm actually
figuring things out.
- That was a great job, Annie.
And you were doing so well.
What are you gonna do now?
- Listen, Bill,
when you're young
you take risks
and do crazy shit.
Once, on a dare, I kissed
a dead dog on the road.
And look at me now.
I got this.
Your daughter's got it, too.
Right, Annie?
- Yeah. I got this.
I got this.
I-- I got this.
["Bad Dance" playing]
CORIN: ♪ And if the world
is ending now ♪
♪ Then let's dance
the bad dance ♪
♪ We've been rehearsing
our whole lives ♪
♪ Well, don't just
stand there ♪
♪ Why don't you
follow me around ♪
♪ My truth is slack and loose ♪
♪ My morals are unsound ♪
♪ Well, I'm amusing,
I'm amazing ♪
♪ I'm impure ♪
♪ Dip your toes
into the chaos ♪
♪ It'll feel just like a cure ♪
♪ And if the world
is ending now ♪
♪ We've been rehearsing
our whole lives ♪
♪ And if we're all
going down in flames ♪
♪ Then let's scream
then let's scream ♪
♪ We've been rehearsing
our whole lives ♪