Shakespeare & Hathaway: Private Investigators (2018–…): Season 1, Episode 9 - The Rascal Cook - full transcript

Excellent.

We'll see you on Friday, at eight o'clock.

Paulina! We didn't realise you'd
be reviewing us again so soon.

Especially after last time.

Yes, well, I always like to give
people a chance to redeem themselves.

Dita! Show Ms Stainton to table seven.

Yes, Mrs Tekler.

- But...
- Don't keep the customer waiting.

Yes, but table three!

Three.

Ten minutes on seven!



How we doing? Let's go!

- 20 seconds, Chef.
- Len, the judge is here. Table three.

Milo! How are we doing on the poussin?

Coming now, Chef.

- What's this?!
- That's how you told me to make it.

This is a mess! This will not win
me Arden Restaurant of the Year!

Service! Let's move! Come on!

Table three! Let's go! Let's go, let's go.

- Where are you going?
- I need some fresh air.

We're in the middle of service!

What the...

What's happening now?

There's somebody there!
There's somebody there.

- Are you there?
- What happened?



I don't know! I don't know! I don't...

Are you all just going to stand here?

Seriously.

- What's going on?
- Can we calm down?

Are you all right?

Yeah.

Are you sure? Need a minute?

No. I'm fine.

Hey, hey, hey.

I'll take this.

I need to apologise.

First time for everything.

Ladies and gentlemen, please accept
my apologies for the power cut.

It's a very old building.

Enjoy.

One for me...

and one for you.

Thank you muchly.

Oh, er, cheers!

Oh, cheers!

No! Oh, no, you don't.

- Oi!
- What did you do that for?

Didn't want you to ruin your appetite.

- You've been invited for breakfast.
- Breakfast?! Where?

Hiverna.

Isn't that that posh place by the river?

My mate Samantha took her boyfriend
there and it cost 200 quid!

Why are we getting a free meal?

They wouldn't say on the phone,
but I did some digging online...

Hiverna...

And I found this food blog,

Unquiet Meals. Listen to this.

"When the end is nigh for a restaurant,"

"legend states it'll be visited
by the four horsemen of the"

"gastronomic apocalypse -
vermin, sickness, in-fighting"

"and, eventually, death."

"Judging by their current rat infestation,
Hiverna's future is looking bleak."

Rat infestation?

Bon appetit!

So this food blogger was here last night?

Paulina Stainton.

She's had it in for me since
she first walked in the door.

Cecilia and I call her the
Wicked Witch Of The West!

Hello, Cecilia Tekler speaking.

Please eat.

Yes.

Yes, that's right.

Ooh.

Ah, so you've finally honoured
us with your presence!

This is my son Milo.

Training him up for the
family business, eh?

Well, there won't be a family
business at this rate.

Get in the kitchen, start prepping.

Sorry, Dad.

That award should've been mine.

We've got no chance now.

This was sabotage! Someone did
this and I want to know who.

Well, look, we'll go and see this Paulina
Stainton, but, erm, it might be an inside job.

No. It's a small team, very loyal.

Let us put a hidden camera in
the kitchen, just in case.

- Hopefully, we'll catch them in the act.
- Hopefully?

- Well, obviously,
I can't promise anything, but...

I refuse to let somebody destroy this
restaurant! I owe it to my brother.

Oh, does your brother work here, as well?

No.

We lost him years ago, but if it hadn't been
for him, I wouldn't even be in this game.

Well, how about we place one of our
colleagues undercover in the kitchen?

No! I didn't spend three years training
at RADA to wash dishes and chop onions!

Oh, come on, what actor hasn't
worked in a kitchen, eh?

And you have had worse jobs.

Remember when you were the
mascot for Stratford Town

and those little kids chased
you down Knights Lane?

At least then I was performing.

This is a performance.

And when you're famous and you're
invited onto MasterChef, just think,

this kind of experience will be invaluable.

I suppose I could use some tips on
how to stop my souffles deflating...

Keep your station clean at all times.

Red board's for raw meat,
yellow's for cooked,

blue's fish, white's
dairy, brown's vegetables,

green's salad or fruit.

♪ I can sing a rainbow, sing a rainbow... ♪

Where do you say you were before?

The Marinated Squirrel.

Mm. It's one of those pop-up places.

Very exclusive. Lots of foraging.

Just make sure you taste everything
before sending it to the pass.

My dad can be brutal.

Taste everything.

Gotcha.

Too hot?

Too hot.

Dita! This is Sebastian.

Dad's giving him a trial.

Oh, good luck!

Thanks.

I, erm, heard about the...

..rodent incident.

Oh, don't!
I feel sick just thinking about it.

Mm. Do you know how it happened?

You do, don't you?!

Not for sure.

So, you know that food critic,
Paulina What's-Her-Face?

Milo saw her,
just after the lights came back on.

Hagis.

I need to apologise.

First time for everything!

- Problem with your electrics?
- Sorry. Sorted now.

Your father never was the brightest spark.

Will you tell your dad?

He'd just shout his head off
at her without any proof.

We've had enough bad publicity.

Come, I'll show you the pantry.

Uh, just need to, er, powder my nose first.

"Powder my nose"?
Where did your dad find him?

No idea.

I don't know why anyone would
spend 200 quid on a meal

when there's a perfectly good
chippy round the corner.

I don't mind forking out for good food, so long
as it doesn't come with a side order of rat.

Oh, speaking of which,
Sebastian thinks that Paulina

Stainton was in the right
place at the right time.

I think that's her.

Ms Stainton?

Oh, yes, greetings! Do join me.

Er, thanks again for
agreeing to meet with us.

Hope it wasn't too far out of your way.

It's one of the only places around
here that does a decent coffee.

Oh, no, it's fine.

Like I said on the phone,
Len Tekler hired us to...

Yes, and before you ask, I had
nothing to do with the rat.

There are dozens of people who'd
like to see Len Tekler humiliated.

Such as?

Disgruntled employees,
dissatisfied customers...

Or just anyone with a modicum
of good taste, really.

I thought the, er, the food at Hiverna
was supposed to be quite highly rated?

It's won enough awards, hasn't it?

It's a tourist trap and the
menu's passable, I suppose,

but no better than you'd
find at many cheaper places.

And as for Len Tekler, the
man's a delusional despot.

Not to mention his wandering hands.

Did you notice the new girl, the new
waitress he's got working for him?

Something tells me she didn't get the job because
of her extensive silver-service training!

Mm. If you hate Hiverna so much,
how come you keep going back?

I mean, we've found half a dozen reviews
that you've written in the last year.

Yes, because I owe it to my readers
to keep up with any menu changes.

Some people might think you have
a personal vendetta against him.

Perhaps I have.

But if I attack someone, I do so using
the written word, not a deceased rodent.

Sorry. Oh, excuse me.

Hello, Sebastian, we're in the mid...
What? Oh, all right, all right.

Calm-calm down.

What's happened?

What have you done? You've only
been here a couple of hours!

It wasn't me! During lunch, the customers
just started dropping like flies.

Nausea, stomach cramps, and worse.

The toilets look like a
scene from The Exorcist.

Urgh, that's too much information.

- Food poisoning?
- How should I know?!

Well, did you see anything suspicious?

Nothing, but it's such a
mad rush during service...

- Excuse me.
- Oh.

Do you think someone
tampered with the food?

Bit of a coincidence otherwise.

By the way,
Mr Tekler has not taken it well.

You have to calm down!

When I find out who did this, I'm
going to cut out their hearts,

dice it, deep-fry it, desiccate it,

and turn it into a foam,
and feed it back to them!

We can see you're upset, Mr Tekler.

Upset?!

I'm ruined!

Morning.

A veritable cornucopia of Williams.

A what?

Bills, bills, and more bills.

What are you doing in? I thought we agreed to
carry on with the undercover surveillance?

I got a call first thing.

Hiverna's been closed down by the
council while they investigate.

And Len Tekler is refusing
to pay us a penny.

Says we were negligent in our duties.

Oh, we can't have that!

Is it wise to pick a fight with a man
who handles sharp knives for a living?

Probably not.

And how long will the tests take?

There must be some way to speed things up?

Because we can't afford to
remain closed indefinitely!

That would be much appreciated.

KNOCKING Thank you.

We're closed!

I know!

Is, er, is your husband in?

He's upstairs.

He had a... a late night.

I've finished in the store room.

Shall I check on Mr Tekler?

If the store room's done, you can
give the toilets another going over.

Yes, Mrs Tekler.

You'll have to come back later.

What's he doing here?

I'm here to persuade
you to change your mind,

keep us on the case.

And why would I do that?

My restaurant's been shut down.

I've got a dozen customers
threatening legal action.

You were supposed to stop something
like this from happening!

Surveillance takes a long time.

Don't you want to know who's responsible?

The kitchen's been shut down!
How are you going to do that?

Well, we've still got to check the
footage from the hidden camera.

Let us do our job. I-I promise
you, I will find out who did this.

Sebastian says he's checked all the
footage from the hidden camera

and there's absolutely no sign of
anyone tampering with ingredients.

I knew we should've put
a camera in the pantry.

So who is this guy, then?

Trevor Cordiss. Another chef.

Apart from Paulina Stainton, he tops a long list
of people Tekler thinks have a grudge against him.

See you later.

If they're enemies, what's Tekler's
son doing coming out of his boat?

I think we should find out.

Hello?

Hello! Welcome aboard Juno's Swan!

Let me guess, Champagne dinner, cruise?

Nothing like the twinkling lights
on the water for a bit of romance.

- No, we're not, er...
- No...

We're actually private investigators.

Here to talk about Len Tekler.

Oh, in that case,
I'm going to need another drink.

So you and Mr Tekler were,
er, business partners?

We were best friends.

Trained together, set up our
first restaurant together.

Course, I wouldn't spit on
him now if he was on fire.

What went wrong?

It's ancient history.

- Please. Humour us.
- It's personal.

Personal enough to sabotage his restaurant?

You what? Oh! The rat.

I read about that.

It wasn't just the rat.

Where were you yesterday lunchtime?

I was on the river.

Corporate client.

I didn't go anywhere near the Hiverna.

Same goes for the night before.

And you can give us details
of those clients, can you?

I could. But you're not police, are you? So
all you need to know is that it wasn't me.

Who do you think it was, then?

None of my business.

When you live on the river, you
learn not to rock the boat.

So you fell out with Mr Tekler but
you get on with his son all right?

You what?

Just saw him leaving.
What was he doing here?

You'll have to ask the lad.

I think it's time you left.

I've got stuff to do.

Right, well, thanks for your time.

Give Len a message from me.

Tell him it doesn't matter
how many awards he's won.

You serve people up trash for long
enough, eventually they'll send it back.

Yes.

Well, he definitely hates Tekler
enough to want Hiverna to fail.

Yeah, just have to keep an eye on him.

Look, you watch out.

I'm going to put this
tracker on the scooter.

Make sure we know where he goes.

- Oh, can't I do it?
- No.

Please, you always get to do it.
I need the practice.

Oh. All right, here...

- Hurry up.
- OK.

Have a whiff of this poison.

Ooh, it's garlic?

Here.

Don't know about you, I smell a rat.

Why on Earth did Mr Tekler keep the rat?

He didn't. It was chucked
in the bins out the back.

Oh, right. So now you're rummaging behind
restaurants in bins looking for dead rats?

Ever question your life choices, Frank?

This might be the proof that we need.

How do you know it's even the same rat?

Because it still has bits of
fermented cabbage in its fur.

If a toxicology report confirms that the
poison is the same as the one on the boat...

Hold up! You expect me to order
a toxicology report for a rat?!

A man's livelihood is at stake.

And what about all those
customers who got sick?

If something was put in their
food on purpose, then that's

administering a noxious
substance at the very least.

We're not going to know until
Public Health get the lab reports.

And if a crime was committed, it's
for the police to investigate.

But if you just...

Forget it, Frank. It's not happening.

I've got bigger pests to deal with!

Milo. Hi.

Can I have a word?

You're one of the
investigators, aren't you?

That's right. Lu Shakespeare.

I was just wondering what you were
on Juno's Swan earlier today.

Where?

The boat belonging to Trevor Cordiss.

Must've been mistaken.

Don't think I was.

I needed some advice.

From Mr Cordiss?

He's my godfather.

- Ah!
- Him and my dad set up Hiverna together.

That was before the big row.

Why did they fall out?

Cos my dad's wrong in the head.

He convinced himself Trevor was after Mum.

And you don't think he was?

Trevor was a bit of a ladies' man, but he never
would've betrayed his best mate like that.

Dad went mad, though - got his lawyers involved
and booted Trevor out of the business.

It's a power thing with Dad - he always needs
to make sure everyone knows he's top dog.

Why did you need advice?

It's nothing important.

Your secret's safe with me.

You know,
you could just try talking to her.

Sebastian was right.

Milo definitely has a soft
spot for the waitress.

No point him sabotaging
the restaurant, then.

If it's closed, he doesn't get to see her.

No. Any joy with Marlowe?

None.

I think it's time we ask our
client how deep his pockets are.

You should go home.

I'm not paying you if
the restaurant's closed.

I'm happy to help.

Mr Tekler's been so kind to me.

And the council may let us reopen
at any moment. We should be ready.

Hello?

Ah.

Is, er, Mr Tekler in?

He's holed up in the kitchen.

Doesn't want to be disturbed.

When he's stressed, he likes to...

..experiment.

Does he now?

I can pass a message.

We need his permission to order
some tests from a private lab.

Tests?

It might prove who planted the rat.

It's just, they're a bit expensive, so...

Better to forget about it, then.

It all seems pointless now.

We should check with Mr Tekler first.

He did seem very keen to
know who was responsible.

As you wish.

- Thank you.
- Thanks.

Hello?

Hello?

Have a look at his mouth.

You can tell he's ingested
some kind of poison.

Did you call this in straight away?

Course I did!

Look, the question is did he kill
himself or did somebody else do it?

- It's not something you need to worry about.
- But he was my client.

"Was" being the operative word.

Now he's dead, he's mine.

Where's Marlowe, anyway? I thought you
weren't allowed out without a baby-sitter.

DI Marlowe is on a
community engagement course.

Well, when she comes back, tell
her to check Tekler's phone.

Somebody's been trying
to get in touch with him.

- Also...
- I've got this, Frank.

Now get off my crime scene.

He could have a temper, yeah, but
it was just his creative spirit.

I can't believe anyone
would do this to him!

- What, you don't think he killed himself?
- No!

But his restaurant had been shut
down, his reputation taken a hit...

No, he wouldn't.

You have to find out who did this to him!

We'll do everything we can.

Did you tell Keeler
about the hidden camera?

Huh, happy Sam. Made it perfectly
clear he didn't need my help.

Marlowe's not going to be very
happy when she finds out.

Hopefully,
we'll have solved the case by then.

Solved the case? Our client's dead.

I know.

I hate leaving things half-finished.

So where do we start?

There were three missed calls
on Tekler's phone from "WWW".

Now, that might have
been a supplier or a...

- We need to get Sebastian to do some digging.
- WWW?

- Yeah.
- What, like the Wicked Witch of the West?

I knew there was a
reason I put up with you.

The big news is Paulina
wasn't always a food writer.

And she wasn't always called Paulina.

I'll send you the details now.

If you've find out she used to be a
rat-catcher, you are getting a pay rise.

Sadly not.

But she was a professional chef.

Even won a Rising Star award at
the Birmingham Food Festival.

It was all going swimmingly until she got a job
at a swanky new place just outside Birmingham.

Guess who was the head chef?

Not Jamie Oliver, then?

Len Tekler.

She left two months later and never
worked in a pro kitchen again.

Sebastian, you are a star.

Does that mean I can leave early?

No. It means you can start checking
the footage on the hidden camera.

I want a list of anything
that went into Len's mouth.

I need to know when and
how he was poisoned.

Oh, and take that hat off.

How did you...?

It's called a toque!

Here she comes.

I said everything I have to say
about Len Tekler yesterday.

Quite frankly, I'd be happy never
to hear his name mentioned again.

Not even now he's dead?

Shall we go somewhere we can talk?

There we go.

It, er, might not look much,
but they do a mean lasagne.

So, you worked for Mr Tekler?

Yes, for my sins.

Everyone knows the industry
has this macho culture.

Grown men dipping their genitals
into the gazpacho for a laugh.

Forcing new recruits to eat raw
chillies until they're sick.

But with Len Tekler, it was worse.

How do you mean?

Well, he'd come up behind me while
I was cooking, hands everywhere.

He'd try and corner me in the pantry.

I mean, I knew I had to get out of there.

After all, how can you cook for a
living when you spend every minute

- you're at work feeling sick to your stomach?
- So you left?

One day he offered me a promotion.

But, of course, there was one condition.

When I turned him down and
told him that I was quitting,

he said I'd never work in a
professional kitchen again.

Thing is, after working with
Len Tekler, I never wanted to.

It took a while to get over it,
but then I reinvented myself.

New name, new hair, new career.

By the time I turned up to review Hiverna 15
years later, well, he didn't even recognise me.

To him, I was just another slab of meat.

Well. Anyone could see
why you'd want revenge.

The four horsemen, like you wrote
in your blog - vermin, sick...

You think I'd kill him?

No!

I wanted him to have a
long, miserable life.

Being Len Tekler was his
crime and his punishment.

And I'm not the only one who
wanted to get their own back.

What's this?

It arrived anonymously this morning.

So this is why you were
calling him earlier?

Well, the editor at the
Stratford Star refused to

publish unless I gave Len
Tekler a chance to respond.

But it's obvious that whoever sent this wanted
to destroy Tekler's reputation for good.

So, Len Tekler owned a restaurant
with his brother, Michael.

Shut down after a few months.

Michael killed himself.

Well, not according to this, he didn't.

- Oh!
- I just don't get it.

This is all happened, what, the
better part of 20 years ago.

Why come after Tekler now? Who
would have a grudge against him?

Trevor Cordiss said he had his
first restaurant with Len.

Are we even sure it's the same place?

Ah, look, here.

This names Trevor as the third partner.

And he had a motive, didn't he? Cos
Len cut him out of Hiverna unfairly.

I'll check the tracker.

Ah, no joy.

According to this, the scooter
hasn't moved all day.

Maybe he walked! We really
should give all this to Marlowe.

And what does this prove? No, I need
to look him straight in the eye.

A list of everything Mr Tekler consumed in the
kitchen in the three hours prior to his death.

That was only marginally less painful
than an episode of Hell's Kitchen USA.

Thanks, Sebastian.

Aren't you going to read it?

Later.

Unbelievable!

Ah.

Come in.

Join me in a toast to an old mate.

I thought you hated each other.

Love, hate...

There's two sides of the same coin.

Talking of which, he owed me money.

So, what do you want now?

Ah.

Is it true?

In a manner of speaking, yes.

Because the newspaper report said
that Michael killed himself.

Well, he did, yes.

So...?

Len and I wanted to start our own place.

Trouble was, we were both skint,

so Len convinced his brother
to use all his savings,

in return for a cut of the future profits.

Except there weren't any.

Poor bloke.

Wanted to buy a house with his girlfriend.

Instead Len blew the lot on experimental cookery
that nobody wanted to eat, left him bankrupt.

The day the restaurant closed down
for good, Michael hanged himself.

Why didn't you tell us this before?

It's not something I'm proud of.

Michael was a good man.

I should've seen the signs.

Who else knows about all this?

Len, obviously.

And he was with Cecilia by
then, so she'd know.

Other than that, I just...

Police! Mr Cordiss, it's the police!

I thought you were on some course?

Yeah, I was,

then I got a call from the lab confirming
that Len was poisoned with zinc phosphide.

Stinks of garlic.

Yeah, we noticed.

So it wouldn't be out
of place in a kitchen.

But its most common use is...

Rat poison.

You were right, Frank.

We should've tested the rat.

Well, we're going to do a
chemical analysis of the

samples that we've taken
from the traps on the boat,

and we're pretty confident
that there'll be a match.

But couldn't the poison
have come from anywhere?

In theory, but zinc phosphide
is quite old-school.

And most traps use
anti-coagulants nowadays.

And, well, considering Mr Cordiss'
connection to the victim...

That's still not enough to charge
him, though.

No, not by itself,
but we do have a witness.

A man matching Mr Cordiss'
description was seen in the alleyway

behind the restaurant prior to Len's death.

Ready, ma'am?

But didn't Trevor have an alibi for when
the dead rat was planted on the food?

Maybe the rat was planted by someone else.

We investigate human deaths, not rat ones!

Yeah, we'll take it from here.

Let me guess.

You wanted to look him in the eye and now
you have, you're not sure he did it?

Something just doesn't smell right.

Mm.

Christina! Who was the witness?

Sorry.
This place stinks.

Ah, don't worry on our account.

We won't be long.

We heard you made a
statement to the police.

We were wondering why you didn't
tell us about the man you saw?

Er, I'm so sorry,
I must've still been in shock.

It wasn't until they started asking
me all those questions I remembered.

What time did you see him?

Around... one o'clock, maybe.

Mrs Tekler sent me to get milk -

she said she'd run out and she wanted
to make Mr Tekler a cup of coffee.

So you just went outside and you saw him?

No, so, it was when I got back.

He was right outside the back door,
and he saw me and zoomed off.

How long were you gone for?

Five minutes, tops.

Mrs Tekler wanted me to go to the
supermarket cos it's cheaper,

but it's a bit of a
hike, so I just went

to the corner shop and
paid the difference myself.

Would anyone else have seen this man?

I wouldn't know.

There is one thing that's been bugging me,
and I should've told the police, but...

What is it?

I've never seen Mr Tekler
have milk in his coffee.

Maybe I threw it away.

Look at me.

My bouche is not amused.

Dear Sebastian. We're really
sorry that we rushed off earlier.

Please can we look at the list?

Now, was that so hard?
Won't make a difference.

All the ingredients Mr Tekler
used he got from the pantry.

There, look. Ten past one.

One hot drink. That must be the
coffee Dita was talking about.

Did he make it himself?

Well...

Now you ask, I can't remember.

This is the first time we
see him with the drink.

Er, go back a bit.

There.

Someone left it for him.

Play it again.

Stop!

Zoom in.

Look at that ring.

So Cecilia must've sent Dita off to
get milk just to get rid of her,

only she came back sooner than expected.

What I want to know, Frank, is why you
withheld the evidence in the first place?

Do you know what?
It completely slipped my mind.

I-I didn't even know the
camera was still recording.

Well, no thanks to you, we got lucky.

Yeah, so the mug was placed in the dishwasher but
it hadn't been turned on since Mr Tekler's death,

so it still contained
traces of zinc phosphide.

And other than Mr Tekler's, the
only prints on it were Cecilia's.

- Where is she?
- She's in custody.

We picked her up last night.

And when we searched her room, we
found a bottle of syrup of ipecac.

Syrup of what ecac?

Ipecac. It's a powerful emetic.

Put a few drops in a soup and, hey presto,
a restaurant full of sick customers.

So what about this Trevor Cordiss? Sounds
like him and Cecilia might have some history.

Yeah, we're going to hold on to him for now. There's a
high probability that the poison came from his boat.

And with our witness identifying him and his vehicle,
we can charge him with murder under joint enterprise.

So on that note, we've got paperwork to do.

Withhold evidence from me again and we're
going to have a serious, serious falling out.

And here's me thinking we were BFFs.

Oh, sad you don't get to bring in
the bad guys any more, isn't it?

- The vehicle...
- What?

Keeler said it was Dita that
identified the vehicle.

Well, according to the tracking device, Trevor's
scooter never went anywhere near the restaurant!

Maybe Dita misremembered? Maybe
he wasn't on the scooter at all.

She said she didn't recognise him.

How would she have even
known he owned a scooter?

- Maybe she's seen him out and about.
- Or she's been on the boat.

Or she's been lying from the very start!

- What are you doing?
- I'm going over the background checks.

We must've missed something. I mean,
why would she want to frame Cordiss?

Her middle name is Ursula?

According to this, yeah, why?

Rings a bell...

Yeah. Read that.

The brother's girlfriend.

Could be a coincidence?

We need to see Dita's birth certificate.

Dita, it's Lu Shakespeare.

Are you there?

Keep watch.

Dita?

Dita?

We're too late.

We'll have to go to Marlowe, see
if the police can find her.

Can you smell that?

What is it?

I think it's petrol.

Why would she be keeping petrol here?

You don't think...?

Let's go round the back.

Dita!

Stay back.

You want to finish what you started,
don't you? Destroy Len's legacy for ever.

Only fair.

He destroyed my life.

An eye for an eye.

He's your uncle. He-he's family.

Len's not my family!
He's my father's murderer.

Your father killed himself.

Because of Len! Len tricked him into
paying for that stupid restaurant.

He took everything my father
had and threw it away.

And because of him, I was left with nobody!

What about your mum?

What?

Ursula.

Well, Len, wouldn't even talk
to her, cut her off completely.

Couple of weeks after Dad died, Mum
found out she was pregnant with me.

- Went to see the three of them.
- Len, Trevor, Cecilia.

Asked for help.

They sent her packing.

Reckoned she was trying it on!

What did she do?

What could she do? She couldn't cope.

She started using, and...

..after she overdosed, I was put in care.

Brought up by strangers because
my uncle cared more about cooking

than he ever cared about
another human being.

So when you turned up here to get a
job, Len didn't even know who you were?

You wanted to ruin him, didn't you?
First with the rat...

I was happy to take the plate in myself, but
it worked so much better when he did it.

And when that didn't shut the restaurant down, you
put the ipecac syrup in the food. Clever, that.

Make everybody ill.

Ruining his reputation wasn't
enough, was it?

You wanted to see him dead.

You knew the police would need a witness
to tie Trevor Cordiss to the murder,

so you made up a story about seeing him
outside when Cecilia sent you for the milk.

And you made it look
like Cecilia was lying,

that the milk was just an excuse
for her to get rid of you

so that she could get
the poison from Trevor,

when in fact, you'd already
got the poison from the boat.

And it was you that made Len's
coffee, wasn't it?

And it was you who made sure
it was Cecilia gave it to him.

I made Mr Tekler a coffee.
Shall I take it to him?

No, I'll do it.

If you're waiting for me
to say I'm sorry, I'm not.

Len had it coming.

And as for Trevor and Cecilia, they
could've helped Mum, but they didn't.

So they can rot in jail for all I care.

We're going to have to call the police.

You won't.

I'm not going to jail.

Not for him.

I'm not going anywhere,
and neither are you.

You see, I'm pretty sure Len Tekler is in hell, but
I'm thinking maybe we should just go and check.

- Dita, no!
- No! - Wait!

What're you doing here?

Look, Milo doesn't deserve this, either.
He's your cousin!

- We're cousins?!
- Don't do this, Dita, please.

Call the police!

Dita! Stop!

Aw!

Does that ever actually work?
Just shouting "stop!" at someone?

Not often, I'll admit.

Any ideas?

Have you ever commandeered a swan?

- Oh!
- Where are you going?!

- Come on!
- You're going the wrong way!

- What?
- Let me steer.

- No, I'm steering. I'll steer. Get off.
- Steer it the right way!

How could she be quicker? There's
two of us and only one of her!

Well, just pedal faster!

Pedal faster.

I'm going as fast as I can!

Come on, we can do this!

- I'm doing it.
- Come on!

Let me go!

He deserved it!

Nah, can't do that.

No, we're doing a citizens arrest
for the murder of Len Tekler.

Len Tekler, yes.

No! I wouldn't do that, Dita.

Please, Dita.

If you really want to ruin the reputation of
Len Tekler, then just tell everyone the truth.

How're you feeling now?

Like Chris Froome at the
end of the Tour de France.

I didn't think you were performing tonight?

I'm not.

Just haven't done any laundry in a while.

Da-da!

Just to thank you both for going above and beyond
the call of duty over the past couple of days.

Aw, you shouldn't have!

He most certainly should.

Sebastian, American Hot.

I love a hot American.

Lu.

Hawaiian.

Old-school!

Thank you muchly.

And a meat feast for Frankie.

Here's to Shakespeare and Hathaway.

We have saved Cecilia and Trevor from jail,

we have put a murderer behind bars

and Milo has even promised
to settle the bill.

I couldn't resist!

Oh!