Sex & Drugs & Rock & Roll (2015–2016): Season 2, Episode 7 - Tramps Like Us - full transcript

[vocalizing]

♪ ♪

- New song for Gigi?
- Nope. You.

I think it's gonna be
like a big, dramatic rocker.

Like a lot of emotional drive.

It could be a great
showcase tune for you.

Oh, cool. I need one of those.

- I know.
- Okay, got my lucky

Micki maracas and where is
my lyrics notebook? Oh.

You know, we, uh, we could work on

this tune together right now, honey.



Oh, but I am this close to finishing

a new tune that Flash
and me came up with.

It's a blues ballad.

He's got a bridge idea last night

that I am dying to listen to.

- Mm-hmm.
- [lightning crackles]

Oh, awesome. And he's got a beat

on the second verse. Okay, I gotta go.

So you have a customized sound effect

for when Flash texts you, huh?

Oh, we're going back and
forth with so many ideas these days

that I hear thunder and lightning

I know it's him and
he needs me to respond.

Right.



[lightning crackles]

[chuckles]

What... what did he say?

Oh, nothing. Long story.

Oh, he is so funny sometimes.

Yeah.

He's funny.

♪ Sex and drugs and rock and roll ♪

♪ All right ♪

♪ ♪

♪ All right ♪

♪ 'Cause I don't want to die ♪

♪ Anonymous ♪

♪ No, no ♪

♪ No, no ♪

♪ No, no ♪

[strumming guitar]

- Hi.
- Hey.

Just finishing up that song.

Oh, great. I want
to hear what you got.

- You look great.
- Hey, thanks.

- Hi.
- Hey.

So I had some ideas too.

I was thinking in this B section

that if we just change the phrase... mm.

[both moaning]

Oh.

[exhales deeply]

Oh, wait. No, no, no, no, no, no.

- We gotta stop this.
- We gotta stop this?

We're acting like a
couple of stupid kids.

This is the shit that
broke The Heathens up.

And I can't go through
something like that again.

I don't want to jeopardize your shot.

So we're in agreement?

Agreement.

'Cause we got whatever
was out of our systems

and now it's over.

Oh, it's... it's over.

Right? I mean, we...
We lucked out actually.

Stumbled upon the perfect little ending

we should have had 25 years ago

and nobody had to get hurt.

Nobody got hurt. Closure. It's nice now.

Yeah. What we had was great,

but I am with Johnny.

I'm with Gigi.

And you know...

I'm gonna take Johnny out to dinner
tonight after rehearsal.

I'm gonna take Gigi out too.

See? We're with the people
that we were meant to be with.

We are with the people
we're meant to be with.

And you and I,

we're good now, right?

Yeah. We're good.

You want to hear that second verse?

Yeah.

Okay.

Hey, what's with that
property out in New Jersey

Gigi was telling me about?

- Oh, it's nice.
- Yeah?

It's right up your alley.

Can I see it?

Sure.

- You gotta be shitting me.
- It's great, right?

And you can tell it's
gonna be a classy event

because they didn't skimp on the tee.

This is really tender
cotton. You want to feel it?

No, I don't want to feel it.

She had no permission to
record the song, Noah.

It's bigger than you, Dad.

This video already has
20,000 views on YouTube.

If they do a big concert, they
could raise a lot of money.

Look.

♪ So raise a hand ♪

♪ With feeling ♪

Oh, my God.

♪ It's a hand ♪

So many people have
contacted me about this already.

She did a couple of
interviews with local press

and she mentioned your
name as a co-writer.

Uh, co-writer? What did she come up with,

like, two lines for that song?

On a song that you
didn't want anybody to hear.

A funny song.

I wrote almost all of
a funny song, okay?

God.

Well, it's not that funny anymore, man.

It's a huge deal in Jersey.

It's a major outdoor concert

with Southside
Johnny and the Asbury Jukes,

Blues Traveler, and Jon Bon Jovi.

Oh, Jon Bon Jovi. Ooh.

It's to cure a disease, Dad.

Okay, it's not like it's
cancer, for Christ's sake.

All right? They can't eat hot dogs,

they can't eat ice cream,
and they can't go out in the sun.

They're better off.

They'll probably outlive all of us.

Will you stop touching the shirt?

It's not just that it's
soft, it smells really good too.

Oh, God.

It's not the shirt. It's you.

You smell very good. You
smell better than I do.

You know what it is?

It's a new fragrance
that my wife got me.

It's called Pure Lavender by Azzaro.

I totally forgot that I was wearing it.

You know what's great?
My career's in the hands

of Heidi Klum, okay? Heidi.

You need to put a stop to the song.

I can't, dude. It can't be stopped.

It's a train that is
leaving the station.

Please, can you just jump on the train?

Ah, not getting on
the train. Not doing it.

They want us to
sing on the record today

with Tenika, Little
Steven, and Southside Johnny.

Oh, great, a glorified bar band

and a pirate from Paramus.

Not a chance. I'm not doing it.

It doesn't matter if you
think the song sucks, Dad.

20,000 music fans think the
song is great and touching.

And memorable.

Plus I'm getting great feedback on it.

I got a call today from
the Parkinson's people.

- Oh, my God.
- Yeah. Colitis.

- Huh?
- Epstein-barr.

Everybody wants a theme song now.

And hear me out, I also got some calls

from some ad exec
friends of mine that I know...

- No.
- And they want to offer you

some jingle writing jobs. Please.

Dude, I'm never writing jingles.

- Why not?
- Because I'm a real

goddamn songwriter.

I'm not some Madison
Avenue hack jingle writing bitch.

Oh, my God. There are
real goddamn songwriters

all over TV right now,

including, by the
way, some of your heroes.

Yeah, that's right. Iggy
Pop is selling Audis...

That's different.

"Should I Stay Or Should
I Go Now" is the theme song

- for Comfort Inns.
- Completely different.

Dude, the Rolling Stones sold
"Satisfaction" to Hilton Hotels.

Because they're the Rolling Stones.

Right, that's the
point. They're all doing it.

They're all doing it. They're
taking their catalogs

and they're turning that into
a whole bunch of money.

Except the problem is you
don't have a catalog.

Yeah, and you don't have money either

because the 200 grand that my
mom gave me to move out here,

between the band stuff and the rent,

- I'm down to, like, 50,000.
- Really?

How much of that did you spend on shoes?

Listen, everything you guys are saying

makes complete and total
sense, but it's never gonna happen.

Because there's two
people in rock and roll

who will never sell their
souls, The Boss and moi.

- So I'll see you guys later.
- Where are you going?

I'm gonna go finish
writing my Ava song.

You're not Bruce Springsteen, man.

You're not even Jeff Springsteen.

I'm Johnny [...] Rock.

[drums beating]

♪ ♪

Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Whoo! That is insane!

- Nice, nice, nice.
- Nice!

- Oh, my God.
- It's awesome, isn't it?

- It is.
- Yeah.

If I have one note,
you guys, is to come in

just a little less à
la marche at the top

and fold in a bit of, you
know, rubato, but otherwise...

Wait, what, "Mr. Roboto"? What is that?

Is that... you going all Dennis
DeYoung on me right now?

No, it's Italian. It means
loose, you know, freeform.

You guys... they know
what I'm talking about.

[chuckles] Man, I am so proud of you.

- Come here.
- It's great, right?

It's great. Glad to be back.

- Good to have you back.
- Hey, guys, come over here.

Take a look at this.

I want to get your
final sign-off on this poster.

Oh, wow. Oh, God, look at that.

This is starting to feel real.

- It's brilliant.
- Look at that.

The percussion, design,
and composition by me.

Oh, my God, man.

Your name's almost as
big as Campbell Scott's.

I know, man. That's crazy.

Dude, Spencer, this whole poster,

the design, the... the...
the image, it's... it's...

- I mean, it's... it's dope.
- It's great.

- Thank you, man.
- It's unbelievable.

I appreciate it. We dig it.

- Yeah.
- So do I, but where's, uh,

- where the hell's my credit?
- Oh, it's right there.

It's right down there. No.

No, no, no, down.

- Right over... down here.
- Down, down, down.

Well, kind of. Right here.

Oh, whoa. What the...

- What does that say?
- It says additional material

supplied by you.

That's a very important
box office info block too.

Because everybody who, you
know, wants to buy tickets, that's...

They read that first. Right, Spence?

- Totally.
- Yeah, it's very important.

Hey, this is happening, you guys, right?

Oh, look at the time. Right.

Do me a favor, just
initial the back of this,

and then we can get
these into print, okay?

- All right, buddy.
- Cool.

Thanks, Spence.

- Wow.
- Yeah?

[chuckles] Yeah.

It's silly I'll probably
never even live here.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

I'm seeing the main
house goes right here

where we're standing, okay?

And then you gotta have a
stable over there in that corner.

Think it's big enough for a horse?

Oh, yeah. At least four of 'em.

Maybe more because you're
gonna have party guests.

- Yeah.
- Yes.

And you're gonna need an
outdoor entertaining area

right over there centered
around a fire pit

that also doubles as a barbecue pit.

- I like it.
- Yes.

And then a barn over there.

I like that too.

Something is coming to me.

A wrought iron chandelier

over a big-ass redwood slab table.

- Oh, we're doing decor now?
- Rustic, but not too rustic.

Rustic chic.

I call it sophisticated cowboy.

What about some antlers?

Antlers, but check this.

They're guitar holders.

Old-timey saloon piano.

Reclaimed wood bar stools.

Funky vintage candelabra.

Whiskey barrels full of flowers.

One of those old pumps
that's actually a beer tap.

Chesterfield sofa.

Chesterfield daybed.

Navajo rocks.

Navajo shit everywhere.

Roaring fire.

God damn.

God damn.

Yeah.

Yeah.

"Additional material supplied by."

- Okay, listen.
- Additional materials.

I came up with the original idea.

That's not really "additional."

That's sort of "original materials."

- Listen.
- What?

- They wrote new songs, okay?
- I know.

They wrote all new story points.

- I heard what they...
- It's a whole new show.

Babe, "additional material supplied by"

sounds like I work at Home Depot!

I want to take that poster, roll it up,

and I want to smoke it.

Who gives a crap about the poster?

Nobody reads the
credits on a show poster.

Oh, really? Okay, then do me a favor...

- Yeah.
- And just switch credits

- with me.
- Yeah, that's not gonna happen.

Exactly! Spence?

- What?
- Come here for a second.

A second, I'll be
right back with you, okay?

What do you want? What's up?

- What is this bullshit, Spence?
- What?

Where's my credit? I
told... I created this thing.

I want to have the same credit

as the composer has on the thing.

I want the same
size, the same placement...

No, no, no, absolutely not. Hell, no.

We're not doing that. It's
never gonna happen, okay?

Look, you know why? Because
that guy wrote 15 songs

all by himself. And what did you do?

You wrote parts of three. Three songs.

- Look...
- You know what?

We're not even contractually obligated

to give you anything bigger. I'm sorry.

You know what? This
is just reality, sonny.

- Forget it.
- Hey, Spence.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

[laughing]

- Is he [...] with me?
- I'm [...] with you.

I'm so glad to be
involved in this, are you kidding?

I love it so much.

I mean, look, I realize I sold my soul,

but I didn't sell my soul to the devil.

We got one of the great
actors on the American stage.

I mean, Campbell Scott, he's
the son of George C. Scott.

I mean, if we were in England,

he would have been knighted by now.

Dude, I bask in his glorious light.

Mm-hmm. Okay, so, can we print now?

Are we cool with that?

Go to print, baby.

Okay, awesome. Thank you.

- Babe...
- I love that poster.

[chuckles]

- What's going on?
- What?

Well, ten seconds
ago you were about to light

the poster on fire and flip out.

And now you do a 180.

What gives?

I had a... revelation.

Oh, your Xanax kicked in?

Well, the two are not mutually exclusive,

so...

[sighs]

- We're gonna have to tell them.
- I know.

I'm not looking forward to that.

- You want me to do it?
- Yes.

- All by myself?
- No. I'll be there.

Totally supporting you all the way.

But what? You're not gonna say nothing?

You just said you were gonna tell them.

I know, but I thought you'd
say, "No, I'll tell them,"

'cause I was just being chivalrous.

[chuckles]

Oh, that's what I love about you.

Such a strong cowboy.

I think this blanket would
look nice in the new house.

Mm, I was just thinking the same thing.

Only maybe not this blanket.

No, this is officially
an outdoor blanket.

[chuckles]

[piano playing]

♪ La, la na, na, na ♪

♪ Oh, just let me go ♪

Hey, what's up?

Dad, you need to get down
to Reservoir Studios now.

- Bruce Springsteen is here.
- He is?

Yes, he's recording his background
vocals for the song.

He totally digs the tune,

and he wants to meet Tenika's
songwriting partner.

Holy shit. Oh, my God.

He's so nice, and he's so cute.

He looks half his age,
and he smells awesome.

Right. What does he smell like?

He smells musky.

Like a musky, muscular lumberjack.

- So dreamy.
- Okay, okay.

Wait, wait, wait, one more thing.

- What?
- Um,

what should I wear?

[phone beeps]

Honey?

Hello?

[M. Ward's "Time Won't Wait" playing]

♪ ♪

- ♪ All you people ♪
- Ah, come on.

- ♪ Going out tonight ♪
- [...].

♪ All I want is one soul to love me ♪

♪ One soul to love me ♪

♪ One soul to love me ♪

♪ Hold me tight ♪

♪ 'Cause to be lonely tonight ♪

♪ Well, that would not be right ♪

♪ If all you people ♪

- ♪ Going out tonight ♪
- Yeah.

- All right.
- ♪ So many people ♪

♪ Don't know what they want ♪

♪ I know what I want ♪

♪ That's one soul to love me ♪

- ♪ One soul to love me ♪
- Hey.

What took you so long?

Traffic sucked. So is he here?

Yeah, he's almost done.

Where is he? Down there?

- Is Patti here?
- What do you smell like?

- You smell like Noah.
- Huh?

You smell like... Are
you wearing Ava's perfume?

Oh, my God. Is it that obvious?

Oh, my God. I can't believe it.

- It's fine. Just sit down.
- Ah, Jesus.

No, I don't want to sit
down. I'm too nervous.

I can't believe it. I'm
gonna finally meet Bruce

and I smell like Beyoncé.

Okay, so smoke a cigarette to
get rid of the dainty smell.

- I smell dainty?
- A little bit.

[exhales sharply] No,
I don't want to smoke.

Because I heard that he
hates people that smoke.

What's he like? Is he
nice? Is he cool? How tall is he?

Why did you bring your guitar?

Oh, because I remembered that
I wrote this song years ago

- with him in mind, right?
- Uh-huh.

And I was gonna bring
the demo, then I'm like,

"No, the demo's, like, 20 years old,"

but if I play the song live, he'll
get the full live effect.

It'll only take a few minutes.

It's called "West To West Orange."

- It won't take that long.
- Okay.

- He's gonna dig it.
- Yeah.

Is it about a working
class guy and his muscle car

and the girl he wants to rescue
from the shitty New Jersey town

- they both were born in?
- It has other layers to it.

- I'm sure it does.
- Yeah.

What's in the bag?

Well, he likes to sign
stuff. I heard about that.

So like, I just thought
I'd bring some albums

and a couple of cassettes and a box set

and two books and one
hat. Nothing, you know.

- Yeah.
- How's my hair?

Is it hot in here 'cause
it really feels hot.

- [exhales sharply]
- Oh, my God.

- What?
- You sound like me

when I thought I was gonna meet Gaga.

I was all freaked out about
my hair and my outfit.

And I thought I was gonna faint.

It's Bruce.

What? Does my stuff not look good?

I picked this out for him.

He is not here.

What do you mean? Is he getting
coffee or something?

No. I needed to make
sure that you came here

to sing with Tenika on the track

and to take pictures
and do the interview

for the "Newark Star-Ledger" article.

And I need you to start
acting like an adult

in this little father/daughter
thing we got going on.

- Can you do that for me?
- Yes.

Okay.

So he's not here?
I'm not meeting him.

- Definitely not.
- Great.

[sighs]

Southside Johnny here?

- He's not.
- Thank God.

I really want to thank you.
I know you wanted to get

that song finished for
Ava before today's rehearsal,

but you really did me a solid,
even if it was under duress.

- It was cool of you.
- I know. You were right.

And you know what? I have a first verse

and I have the chorus, so
she's gonna get the idea,

you know? Ahem.

Hey.

[clears throat]

What's going on?

We gotta talk, brother.

Where's your gear and all your guitars?

No offense, Johnny,
but you can get violent

in emotionally charged situations.

[scoffs]

You guys are leaving the band.

Well, let's hope not.

- John?
- Yeah?

- Gigi?
- Yes?

Um,

Flash and Ava have discovered a, um,

a nascent desire

that has blossomed into

a living, breathing, uh, love

for each other.

Now, John, it is not your fault.

Gigi, it's not your fault either.

And it's not Ava and Flash's fault.

It's, uh, well,

it's a natural, organic love.

And it's... it's real. It's here.

And it's... It's all around us.

Feel it?

Now, John, I know that, uh,

it's perfectly
natural for you to be angry

and wish to express your
anger through confrontation

and physical means.

- [scoffs]
- I'm hoping to diffuse

that desire

and help you understand

how strong,

how powerful and possibly
permanent the... the feelings

between these two...

rays of love are.

And to fight to keep this family,

this band family together,
to find that greatness,

that is still inside

four very talented brains.

You remember my eggs?

I'm not doing the
goddamn eggs right now.

It's okay, I got this.

[chuckles]

[inhales deeply]

So here's what we're gonna do.

First of all, you're
gonna take off your glasses.

Thanks.

We're all gonna handle this in
a very professional manner.

Like professional musicians.

We are all gonna
continue to go to rehearsals.

We're gonna give 110% while doing so

because this isn't The Heathens.

This is The Assassins, Gigi's band,

and I don't want any
of this personal stuff

to get in the way of where she's going.

All right?

How's that sound? Good?

Amazing. Great.

Understood?

- Okay.
- Yeah.

Great. All right, honey.

I need to go to your apartment
and pick up some of my stuff.

- Sure. When?
- I'm gonna do that now.

And I'll leave my key.

Bye, guys.

- Thanks.
- Thank you?

I don't know. Maybe she got to Johnny.

- Maybe he's growing up.
- That girl has her eyes

on the prize. [gasps]

Oh, my God.

Oh.

♪ If you were to tell me ♪

♪ If I didn't have to guess ♪

♪ I never would have told you ♪

I knew it was too good to be true.

Shit.

- Oh, my God.
- Goddamn Johnny.

Oh,

I don't think it was Johnny.

Yeah, those aren't his lips.

Those aren't his lips.

Son of a bitch, look at this.

What?

Oh.

She left behind the one
ax that supports her vocals

better than any other in my arsenal.

Like I said, eyes on the prize.

♪ ♪

Where'd you get a chainsaw?

Found it in one of his closets.

Probably bought it to
start using on his stupid farm.

I hope you learned a
good lesson from all this.

I did.

Chainsaws are cool as shit.

That's my girl.

- I'm in love...
- Love this part.

So very much in love I
feel my heart will explode.

Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.