Sex & Drugs & Rock & Roll (2015–2016): Season 1, Episode 2 - Clean Rockin' Daddy - full transcript

So...

you want me to sign a contract?

Yeah, just to formalize the relationship.

I'm her father. She's my daughter.

Yeah, and that is divine and
sacred ground, my friend,

a forever bond which no
mortal can ever change.

We just want to redefine it a little bit.

I'm the singer. You're the songwriter.

Okay, what's Ava?

I'm the really cool surrogate mom.

So by signing this contract,
you get to live here for free,



Gigi also covers the rent
on the rehearsal space,

pays Bam and Rehab.

What about Flash? What's his deal?

He already has his own money,

and his own apartment and a new BMW.

He's doing it because he totally
believes in my potential.

Oh, I'll bet he does.

By the way, I think he had
work done to his face, okay?

Look at his face and look at my face.

This is the face of a
50-year-old rock star.

A 50-year-old failed rock star.

In cocaine years, you're, like, 175.

Now, Flash signed this already.

It says you both agree to deliver



five songs in the next two months.

And you need this pressure, John.

You haven't written a new
song in almost two years.

Ira, my muse does not have a contract.

My muse does not have a schedule, okay?

(Ava) Does she have a
2,000-square-foot loft

with rooftop city views?

Okay, I'll do it, but I just
want to make one thing clear...

I'm not writing some
auto-tuned pop-schlocky

Katy Perry bullshit, okay?
I'm not selling my soul.

You can keep your soul, Dad.
That's what I'm after.

I want you, the real deal.

I'm not shooting fireworks out of my tits.

I want to sing real songs
with real musicians.

Cool.

I mean, unless there's something

new and exciting we can do with my tits.

♪ ♪

♪ Sex and drugs and rock and roll ♪

♪ All right

♪ ♪

♪ All right ♪

♪ 'Cause I don't want to die anonymous ♪

♪ No, no ♪

♪ No, no ♪

♪ No, no ♪

♪ ♪

Dad?

Wow. Johnny!

Oh, my God.

Look at this.

[groans] Billy Joel!

Jesus, Johnny.

God, Dad, when Ava woke up and realized

you didn't come home
last night, she freaked.

Where were you?

I was right down here, working.

With who, Pablo Escobar?

[laughs] Oh, my God.

[groans]

No, I got an idea for a song.

[humming]

I need my phone.

[humming]

[ringtone playing]

Oh, shit.

We got it. Uh...

[clears throat] Hello?

This shit has to stop,
you know that, right?

Who's this?

[scoffs] Asshole.

Okay, now I just need
to get my voice memos.

Ah, this is on pause.

Says you were recording at 7:15 a.m.

Let's just delete that shit.

Give me that.

[sloppy acoustic guitar playing]

[indistinct blues vocalizing]

♪ ♪

Needs lyrics, but it's pretty good.

Yeah, it's not bad.

Yeah.

You almost trashed it.

[sighs]

All right, go ahead. Give me some.

- Go high.
- For what?

Dudes, this is... This is unbelievable.

This is like a sign from
the gods of rock and roll.

This is how Keith Richards
wrote Satisfaction.

He woke up one morning, he
had an idea for a song,

he went to hit "record"
on his tape recorder

and instead he hit "play,"
and what he heard

was the famous riff from Satisfaction,

which he recorded the night
before when he was [bleep] up,

just like I just did. I'm telling you guys,

there's no off position
on the genius switch.

Oh, that's your songwriting
hero, Keith Richards?

He's a fossil, Dad.

- He's a rock and roll legend!
- Oh, yeah?

Did you see his ad campaign
for Louis Vuitton luggage?

Put a handle on his head, he
could've been one of the bags.

(Flash) Slash is sober
now, Eddie Van Halen...

Even the rest of the Stones
don't party anymore.

Mick Jagger jogs 5 miles every morning.

Ron Wood, fancy water.

Guys, I've been doing it this way,

getting drunk and high and writing songs,

for, like, 30 years, okay?

It's no big deal. It's just my process.

Call Ava. Give her a heads up.

All right, you want to
write this song or not?

Yeah, I want to write a song.

Okay.

I'll get my ax.

I'll get my weed.

Where did I put it?

[guitars strumming]

[humming]

♪

Go the F instead of the C in the opening.

Like this...

♪ ♪

♪ Uh ♪

♪ ♪

♪ And let go of my soul ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Let me up so I can breathe ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Got to find some kind of cover ♪

♪ ♪

♪ From this hold you have on me ♪

♪ ♪

♪ I'm gonna get right over you ♪

♪ Or I'm gonna die trying ♪

♪ ♪

(Ava) ♪ Ooh ♪

♪ ♪

♪ I can feel you like a fever ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Down in the marrow of my bones ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Sliding like a demon ♪

(Ira) Great song.

(Johnny) Hey, what are you doing here?

We need to talk about your process.

Oh, yeah, my muse.

Told you, Ira, she arrives
whenever she wishes.

We need to talk.

Wait a minute. Did you drop a dime on me?

I dropped a dime to save your
life, Dad, and the band's.

With what, an intervention?
Is that what this is? What?

No, no, no, if this was
an actual intervention,

it'd end with us driving
you to a treatment center.

Rehab knows a couple great places.

Five.

I know five great places.

But we can't afford the time
actual treatment would take.

Case like you, slips, relapses,

even more trips to treatment...

We could be spinning our
wheels for at least a year.

So we just need you to
quit drugs and drink,

cold turkey, for a few weeks,

write four more songs,

then you can do whatever the hell you want.

Besides, it's in the contract.

I didn't see anything in there...

Oh, you didn't read it?

I...

Yeah, "Uh, uh, uh"...

Page two, paragraph one:

"Substance abuse by employee
leads to dismissal."

Paragraph 1A: "In lieu of dismissal,

employee agrees to work clean and
sober for at least 30 days."

"Employee"?

Yeah, employee.

I could've written "Johnny Rock,"

but "employee" sounds way more official.

Guys, I can't...

You can do this, brother.

We can do this, baby.

Here for a month with me
as your sober coach...

It could work.

You'll be surrounded by music.

Listen, you come here every day,

write and play, you sleep
in your own bed at night.

You relax, have a little wine...

- Oh, I can drink wine?
- (Ira) What... whoa, whoa, wait.

- He can't have wine.
- (Ava) Yeah, why not?

No wine.

Everything in moderation,
right, including moderation.

No... no alcohol at all.
That's the whole point.

Oh, okay. So we're going new school.
I thought we were going old school.

No biggie. Jesus.

Look, you guys, we all
just have to give him

some strong and loving support.

(Ira) Total love and support.

Next thing you know, we
have four more songs.

Well, I mean, however many may happen.

Your health comes first, Dad, okay?

The songs come second.

Right.

So three songs.

[scoffs]

What's wrong, Bam?

Nothing, it's just, this
whole thing with Johnny

reminds me of what happened with my mom.

Your mom was a coke whore?

No, ass face, she was a drunk,

surrounded by people that cared about her

and she still couldn't see it.

And Johnny and my mom...

They both have the same hair.

And I'm pretty sure she had that blouse.

(Johnny) This is a shirt, not a blouse,

and Bowie had this haircut in 1973, okay?

This is an iconic look.

Bowie's been drug-free since '78.

Talent-free too, bro.

Huh, Let's Dance?
Let's not, David.

Hey, if we want to really get into this,

Bowie's best stuff was done before '78,

when he was high on blow.

All of our favorite songs of his...

That's when they came from, right?

Okay, our favorite bands of all time...

The Stones, The Ramones,
The Replacements, us. Huh?

They were high when they
were doing their best stuff.

I mean, John Lennon, high, wrote Imagine,

and then Strawberry Fields and Revolution.

Okay, John Lennon, straight,
on his last album,

wrote a three-minute song
about bakin' a loaf of bread.

I repeat... Baking a loaf of bread.

Okay, he'd gotten so boring,

if Mark David Chapman hadn't shot him,

Yoko probably would've.

Guys, it's not gonna work.

It's called sex and drugs
and rock and roll.

It's not, you know, yeast and
water and dinner fucking rolls.

Name one great band or rock
star that doesn't get high.

- Coldplay.
- Morrissey.

Radiohead?

I rest my case. Okay?

God, every time I hear a Radiohead song

I feel like I'm failing
the SATs all over again.

And listen, guys, I've never written a song

without some kind of
chemical assistance, ever.

John, roll the dice. See what happens.

Do it for me, Dad.

Oh, God.

Maybe you guys are right.

Maybe it's time...
time to try something else.

I'll give it a shot.

Yep. [sighs]

(all) Hey!

(Ava) Okay, I cleaned out
the hard liquor today,

except for all of this wine,

and I am going to drink every single bottle

because I love you, honey.

Proud of you, Dad.

Where are you sleeping?

I'll be guarding the front door.

How do I know that for sure?

Well, if you wake up later and
manage to slip out to a bar,

that means I'm sleeping in Gigi's room.

Which means he won't be sleeping.

Which means I'll be sitting in
that chair right over there.

Which means you can watch.

Ooh.

Why are you such a drag, man?

I'm a drag? [chuckles]

You hit the lottery here, asshole.

I mean, Mickey split 'cause
family's not her bag,

but Ava... she obviously digs this setup.

In spite of yourself, your
ego, your drug abuse,

you end up with a smokin'-hot
chick who loves you,

your old band back together again,

and a super talented daughter

who just might drive your ass
back into actual show business.

Yeah, if my songwriting partner
and lead guitar player

doesn't blow it all up by
sleeping with her first.

Hey, man, there's a genuine connection

between me and Gigi.

Yeah, there's a genuine connection

between her ass and your pants.

There's a ton of great long-term couples

in the history of rock and roll

whose sexual chemistry made
the bands even better.

There's only one... Hall & Oates.

Kim Gordon, Thurston Moore.

Who no longer speak to each other

or anybody else in their band.

I don't care what period in rock and roll

you want to talk about...

Sonny and Cher, ABBA, Blondie,

The White Stripes, Sonic Youth, huh?

It never works out.

The Benatars.

Pat Benatar?

Her and her husband,

longtime songwriting
partner, lead guitar player.

35 years, going strong.

And his name is?

Ben?

Ben Benatar?

No, it... I mean, Pat.
They're both named Pat.

His name is Neil Giraldo,

also known as the guy
standing behind Pat Benatar

that nobody pays attention to,

also known as Mr. Pat Benatar.

But look at the bright side, you know,

if you do sleep with Gigi
and then the band breaks up

and she leaves you behind,

you got a great name for
a chain of hair salons.

Mr. Gigi's.

Hey. What about that?

No.

Got nothin'.

I can't tell if you're joking or not.

[inhales sharply]

[blows raspberry]

You guys wanted me clean and sober.

[slurps]

[pen clicking]

[piano note plays]

[slurps] [pen clicking]

[piano note plays]

[slurps] [pen clicking]

Can you stop doing the pen thing?

[slurping]

[slurps]

[sighs]

How's it goin'?

Do you want some weed?

Not funny.

You want me to do the pen thing again?

[pen clicking]

Radiohead to Morrissey, huh?

All righty. That's what you asked for.

[piano music]

[singing mockingly] ♪ Oh, no ♪

♪ It's not your fault ♪

♪ Oh, no ♪

♪ If I die then I die ♪

♪ If I don't, then I don't ♪

♪ Don't eat meat ♪

♪ I'm all alone ♪

♪ Crying in the dark ♪

♪ Standing in the park ♪

♪ Asking a fatty for a cigarette ♪

[laughs]

♪ Don't eat meat ♪

♪ Oh, no ♪

♪ Don't eat meat ♪

- You don't have any drugs?
- Nope.

- At all?
- None.

- Secret stash of weed?
- Nada.

Couple of Vicodins maybe?

I have a ton of Inderal.

I'll take some of that. What does that do?

- It's my heart medication.
- Oh, Jesus Christ.

Helps with my arrhythmia.

You don't have any pain
killers or anything?

Listen to me, you're just jonesing.

- It will pass.
- [sighs]

You don't take anything anymore?

- I take yoga.
- Oh, God.

What, you can't picture me doing yoga?

Oh, no, no... I can picture you doing yoga,

but getting that picture out of my head

is another reason I need
chemical assistance.

Jesus, you in yoga pants?

Man camel toe... bameltoe?
No, no thank you.

That's a four-Jameson job right there.

Have you ever heard of "The Art of Now"?

[sighs] Is it an Art Tatum record?

No, it's a life movement.

Breathe. [inhales]

Flow. [exhales]

Engage.

So it's a Sting record.

You need to get open, John.

The answers to these questions
that you're asking yourself...

They don't lie at the bottom of a bottle

or the end of a rolled-up dollar bill.

You know where they lie?

Right here.

You got to cure the addiction. I did.

And so can you, and I
can help you, brother.

The booze, the blow, the weed...

They were all emotional crutches for me,

until I cast them aside and
learned to walk again,

a free, clear, fully grown man.

[beeping]

Yes!

Bang, bang.

Hot, hot, hot. Hot... ow, ooh.

Watch out, watch out.

Are those tater tots?

No.

These are gluten-free tater tots.

Can you get me the ketchup?

Top shelf. I can't reach.

[sighs]

Hot, hot.

Hey, Rehab. How you doing?

What?

Nothing, just checking on how
you're doing and what's going on.

- I'm fine.
- Cool.

New axe? 'Cause it's... Whew, it's killer.

Same one I played in the Heathens.

Oh, I... It's just that it's so...

You keep it so, you know, shiny,

it just looks like...

brand-new.

I just... I don't understand.

There's always this weird, you
know, like, vibe between us.

I don't... I don't know why.

Which one, like, the anger
vibe or the animosity vibe?

Here's my current one:
I don't have any drugs.

Who said anything about drugs, dude?

I can't just walk in here and
tell my favorite bass player

of all time, which is what...

Bam texted me 30 seconds ago.

I know you have pills in one
of these bags here, man,

so don't tell me that you don't, huh?

They're prescription pills
prescribed by my doctor

- for very specific reasons.
- Yeah.

Come on, Johnny! Listen to me.

Oh, Jesus, what's your
doctor's name, Duane Reade?

This is what keeps me clean and sober.

I'll bet. What the hell
are they all for, dude?

Well, these kill panic. These kill anxiety.

These keep me from killing myself.

These keep me from killing you.

These keep the voices at bay.

You hear voices?

I do. I hear voices.

Do you want to know what they're saying?

"Give Johnny some Percocets"?

[chuckles] These voices are

from a very old age, my friend,
and they wish to sing,

so I wrote them a song cycle.

What do you mean, like, a...
Like a rock opera?

Rock operas ain't hip no more, bro.

Song cycles... Uber hip.

Yeah, right. I forgot we live in Brooklyn.

Dig this.

It's about the famine.

The famine?

Ireland, 1845.

The awful blight upon the potato crop?

It's called An Gorta Mor.

Oh. Is that, like, the name
of the main guy, like Tommy?

An Gorta Mor is Gaelic
for "the great hunger."

- You want to hear it?
- Now?

No, you don't want to hear it.

No, no, I do.

No, this is what I'm talking about.

You are dismissive of me.

Back in the day, you and Flash

never let me contribute
songs to the Heathens.

- I know...
- Not once.

- That was a big mistake.
- You diminished me.

You treated me like a second-class citizen.

Entwistle had songs with The Who!

Paul McCartney was the bass player!

Paul Simonon sang lead on Guns of Brixton!

God knows why, but Rehab wants
to sing a song, forget it!

- Verboten. God forbid.
- No, no, no, no.

Listen, I want you to contribute.

That's one of the things I
wanted to talk to you about.

I want you involved, you know, I totally...

I want to hear the... What's
it called, the song...

- Cycle.
- Cycle, yes, yes.

Cool. Want to hear all 29 songs?

You've wrote 29 songs
about the potato famine?

Three million people died.

On an island surrounded by fish.

It lasted eight years.

You got to really hate fish

to not eat 'em for eight
years, Re, I mean...

They couldn't afford to build boats,

and the entire third hour of
the cycle is about that...

Third hour? Is the cycle
longer than the actual famine?

You just hear the first
number, and you tell me

whether or not it's right for Gigi.

[sighs] What's it called?

Bloody English Horse.

You might have to give me something

to help me, you know, focus.

How about an Adderall?

What does it do?

It's got a cocaine-type
high, lasts for five hours.

Yes, perfect.

One Adderall, coming up.

Nice.

♪ Decaying while we're left to die ♪

♪ Clouds of death are in the sky ♪

♪ This blight on our potatoes ♪

It's good. I think I'm gonna

probably need another one of these

just to get... you know,
really focus in on it.

You're Irish, man. These are your people.

- You should know about this.
- Well, you're Jewish.

Shouldn't you be writing
about the Holocaust?

The Holocaust. It's got such
a History Channel vibe now.

Yeah. Right.

♪ And death and death and death ♪

Hi.

[glass breaks]

This isn't gonna work.

I know, right, so we'll just

get rid of the blow, and I'll just do

the booze and the weed.

You're right... no weed. Just the booze.

You have to get clean, Dad.

I'm dead serious.

I can tell, you haven't
looked at your phone

in, like, four seconds.

Do you care about me or not? You can
tell me. If you don't care about me,

- you can tell me.
- Honey, of course I care about you.

Why would I get the band
back together again

- if I didn't care about you?
- You care about me

because, you know, you
think that I might be,

like, your last way back into show business

or because I'm might make
you a ticket or two.

A ticket is a million cash.

I know what a ticket is. I'm hip.

I use... I say tickets.

- Know what's funny?
- All the time.

I've actually never heard you say ticket.

Well, you've only known
me for, like, a couple...

Whose fault is that?

Listen, I moved here to find you, okay?

I moved all of us in together

because I don't want to be alone.

It's scary for me.

Well, honey... it's
pretty scary for me too.

I didn't know that this was gonna happen.

I'm just trying to get
used to it, you know?

Honey, I'm not just doing this, you know,

like, some addict. I'm an artist.

The reason that I drink and I do drugs

is because it unleashes my subconscious

when I'm writing songs.

And the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame

is full of people who do that, okay?

I mean, I don't want you doing it.

You don't drink or do drugs, right?

- No.
- Good. Glad to hear it.

Why not?

Because I'm a singer, Dad.
My voice is my instrument.

Right, and I'm a songwriter, and I need it.

I don't want you doing it

'cause it would destroy your voice,

but for me, it's necessary.

Yeah, well, it might destroy
the few brain cells you have left.

And your relationship
with your only daughter.

This is a wake-up call, Dad.

You missed the first 20 years of my life.

I think that it would be nice if
you were around for the next 20.

Okay.

[sighs] I get it.

Can I ask you one thing?

Don't date Flash.

Yeah... no, you have no say in that.

I'm... [sighs]

Hey, I date who I want to date.

Maybe if I had a father who cared

I wouldn't be so hung up on father figures.

- Give me the pills.
- What pills?

The pills in your hand.
Give me the fucking pills.

Okay, there are two. Thank you.

[buzzing]

[slurping]

[sighs]

[guitar strumming]

♪ ♪

[humming]

♪ ♪

All right, guys, so it's
not done, by any means.

It's just a verse and a
beginning of a chorus, so...

[clears throat] Here goes.

[exhales]

[guitar strumming]

♪ ♪

♪ I stand alone in the city of lights ♪

♪ I stand alone tonight ♪

♪ ♪

♪ I hear the moaning of
the misbegotten souls ♪

♪ Mining sinner's gold ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Mining sinner's gold ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Mining sinner's gold ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Mining sinner's gold ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Mining sinner's gold ♪

[song ends]

What'd you think?

I'll go get some whiskey.

Who's got weed?

My pill bag is in the van.

(Flash) I've got a one-hitter.
Colorado shit.

(Ira) Better get some vodka too.

You know what, if he's gonna get high,

he's gonna get hungry...
I'll get some pizza.

But I thought my health was
the most important thing.

Dad, that song sounded like
something that Sting would write

if he was living inside
Sarah McLachlan's vagina.

You need to get high. But no more blow...
that's over.

Baby, I got some Darvon

in the medicine cabinet. Help yourself.

Okay, uh...

Sorry, guys. I-I did my best.

Yes!

Hello, Darvon.

(Rehab) ♪ I saw the living,
dying, and the nearly dead ♪

♪ ♪

♪ People fighting for a
tiny crust of bread ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Potatoes once of brown and gold ♪