Sex Life (2019–…): Season 1, Episode 3 - Rope, Tits and Tears - full transcript

Ordinary people with extraordinary sexual desires learn the ropes from a Japanese bondage expert, find their Tantric soul mates, and empower themselves through pole dancing.

♪ Don't care
what you think about it ♪

♪ Ain't here to
please nobody ♪

♪ I'm the one
they run for cover ♪

♪ Here comes trouble now

♪ Mend my wicked ways

♪ I'll get you
into trouble now ♪

♪ It's just so
hard to behave ♪

♪ Got you seeing double now

♪ I'm the one
your mama told you ♪

♪ I play the one
as torture ♪

♪ The risk you cant afford

♪ Here comes trouble now

♪ Turn it up all night

♪ Got you feeling high

♪ Turn it up all night

♪ Got you feeling high

♪ Get you into trouble now

- What are some of your favorite
things to do in the bedroom?

- Wow.

Um.
[ laugh ]

My favorite thing in the
bedroom would definitely be...

I'm so different.
It depends on the day.

- So I've always had this
thing like the whole idea of

being like tied up.

- I have been tied
up in the bedroom.

I kind of like that.

- You've tied me up.

- Tied her up a
couple of times.

- I have a couple of
like restraint things at my

apartment that
we've dabbled with.

- Trusting your partner to
like take care of you and

keep you safe is like a
very intimate experience.

- Yeah, like that's a big
thing for me being tied up.

And then having like multiple
girls, like two girls.

Maybe one like sitting on
my face and the other

one like sitting on my dick,
that we kind of tight.

- I'm a little light
on the BDSM stuff,

you know, but I'm into it.

- I am Brittany.
- I'm Mark Simon.

- I'm Romane.
- Scott.

- Flossy.
- Sonali.

- And this...
- And this...

- And this...
- And this...

And this is my sex life.

- Take it or leave it.

- Honey?
- Time to get up.

- It is?
- Mm-hmm.

- Why?

- 'Cause we get on a plane
and go to San Francisco.

- Oh, yeah.

- Excited?
- Yes.

You know what's
in San Francisco?

- Did you get enough sleep?
- No.

That's what the plane's for.
- Right. Let's go.

- Okay. Let's go.

- She wants us to bring all
the rope that we have, right?

- Yes, sir.
- Okay.

Look at that.

Still tied up because we
haven't done any practice

since we got the book.

So now that we get to go
down and see her and

get some hands-on teaching,
we'll actually have her sign

this book, she'll teach us
what we need to know.

What else do we
need to bring?

- Don't forget to
bring the flogger.

I think that's gonna be
really good for us to have.

- This one?
- Yes.

- Okay.

- That or that can be a
dominatrix and maybe our

really nice paddle.

- Paddle.
- There you go.

- And what about the cane?
- I don't know.

You think we should
take that on the plane?

Cane on a plane?
- Cane on a plane?

Hey, I'll cane you on the plane.
- Cane on the plane.

- Is that part of the
Mile-High Club if I cane you

in the bathroom?
Is that part of it?

You don't wanna go
through TSA with this?

- No, I don't.
[ laugh ]

- The term "Shibari" is to tie.

It's Mr. and Mrs. [ inaudible ]
tying each other up,

engaging in a romanticized
fantasy and having a good time.

Fuck it.

In Shibari, think of a
rope as an extension of the

person's body.

I only have these hands and
these legs to wrap around you.

But what if I had miles of
me to hold you down with.

It really can feel like the rope
is an extension of desire,

that the rope is an extension
of passion and want.

And that particular flow and
desire, it's really seductive.

- We're leaving foggy
and dreary Seattle for

some sun in California.

- Get ready to head out.
Get on a plane.

- San Francisco, here we come.

What's your
expectations for today?

- Biggest challenge for me
is having been a sub for as

long as I have and
transitioning and flipping

that to a top, I'm that
part of the fear of like

I haven't done it.

Okay, what are
your expectations?

- Same thing, I expect to learn
something about myself,

something new and different
that I don't normally have.

- That's a good answer.

- Rope play could bring
people closer in their

relationship if they're
willing to talk about what

it is that they really want.

But I want to emphasize the
communication.

And I want to convey to them
about the point of this

adventure, which is about shared
and co-created pleasure.

- Here we are.

- Hello.
- Hello.

- Hello.
Welcome, welcome.

- I'm Lady P.
- Hey.

- And Remy.
Nice to meet you.

- Nice to meet you.
Please come in.

- Thank you.
- All right.

Here we are.
How are you guys doing?

- A little nervous.
- Yeah.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

- Yeah.
Excited, nervous.

- Okay.

So the objective here is
to get you some good solid

skills so you can
do naked homework.

- Okay.
- Thank you.

That's a good reminder.
- Okay.

- That helps me
be like okay.

I don't have to be
perfect at this.

- No, you're not.

In fact, you're not
gonna be perfect.

I always assign
naked homework.

Because in a teaching
environment,

there are certain
things that are really not

appropriate to happen.

For many, they get
really nervous.

Oh, am I going to have
to do things like suck dick?

Or am I going to have to
shag and fuck in front

of the teacher?
I'm like, no.

No, today we're practicing
for your receiving?

- Yes.
- And you're casting?

- Correct.
- Okay, great.

When it's good for you,
what would I see in here?

- I think it's probably
easier for me to describe

when I'm not
having a good time.

[ laugh ]

- Oh, now do you see
a problem with that?

- Yeah, this is
gonna be a challenge.

- The only bad rope bondage
there is is when all people

are not having genuine fun.

This is for shagging,
love, romance and pleasure.

I can give you the good
tools by which to navigate that.

But I cannot tell you the
things you will encounter in

your own adventure.

- That's a good way to put it.

- Choose your own
adventure book.

- Right.
[ laugh ]

- Mm-hmm.

I often share an actual rope
bondage scene as opposed

to a technical demonstration.

I want people to understand the
emotional and intimate impact,

the human impact, of this.

- Hi.

- I'm Remy.
- Hi. I'm Lux.

- Nice to meet you.
- Pleased to meet you.

- I'm Lady P.
- Hi. Lux.

Pleased to meet you.

- I want to keep
the technique simple.

I'm gonna share with them
what a scene could look

like with my fantastic
assistant.

Okay, so in terms
of receiving rope,

what is it about receiving
rope that you like?

- Hmm.

I love receiving rope
because of the dominant

aspect of it for me.

- How are you feeling
today about a crotch rope?

- Oh, yeah!
- Yeah?

- I really like the
functional put me in my

place kind of
attitude with rope.

Use it to like really bind
me and restrict me

so that I can wiggle,
but I can't get free.

The things that I
really love with the rope,

I have a great
connection with the top.

And I can really feel
their power coming through.

Also, I'm like restrictive
and helplessness is always fun.

- So what happened with Lux?

It's all about wrapping my
partner in my intention.

So, you know, if you pull
your wrists up...

- Oh...
[ laugh ]

Whether devouring them,
shattering them, holding them,

loving them, my hands, my rope,
all of me vibrates

through the rope.

Conversely, their quivers
quiver through the rope

into my hands.

And when they want to
let go and surrender,

it's my entire being
that's holding them.

And if I'm cinching or if I'm
releasing or if I'm tightening,

it is this duet.

- Please, Midori, please,
please, please, may I come?

- Yes.
- Oh! Oh! Oh!

- And she has an orgasm.

- You're having even
more fun than she's having,

which was-- I won't
say it surprised me.

But, I mean, that's cool.
It's a dance.

That's what it is.
It's more of a dance.

- I think he says to
me halfway through it,

he says, "Sure you
don't want to be bottom?"

[ laughter ]

- He knows how
much I love it, right?

I was just like,
"No, I want to be the top."

Like that's actually really hot.

- You're gonna be top, eh?
- Yes, I am.

- What level of attire or
non-attire are you wanting?

- I'm good with the
attire I have on.

- What about him?

- I would like to see
him in his underwear.

- So, here's the thing.

If you're going to be topping,
do you make a request

that is wimpy?
[ chuckles ]

- You gonna ask or
are you gonna tell?

- I want you in
your underwear.

That's what I want.
- Okay.

- So you're gonna be
in your underwear.

- All right.
[ laugh ]

- For somebody like P,
who's going to be topping

for the first time,
be clear and simple.

- Right here.
- Okay.

- Well, something's extending.

Always remember that when
a person's experiencing joy,

they're sex high.

And when we're sex high,
we're stupid.

And if we're sex high and
stupid, keep it simple.

Here's what I want you to do.

Stroke that rope
across his body.

You don't need
to tie anything.

The rope is an
extension of your hands.

The sensuality of rope
bondage comes down to touch.

So if a person's
casting or topping,

they're touching the
entire body of the person.

The cinching of it,
the releasing of it,

continual touch.

There's a tactile sensuality
and there's a command

sensuality to it,
an assertiveness that is

in service of joy.

You're winding it
around his body.

It can go
between his legs.

- Is there anything
I should be doing?

Just enjoying it?

- Enjoy and just
respond, and whatever it is,

you reflect the way you are.

It's all about the skin.
It's all about the muscles.

Look, rope gives an
opportunity to cop a feel.

That's kind of hot.

There.
So, where do you want him?

Because the thing to think
about in rope bondage is not

how do I want to tie,
what are the knots?

But what's the
utility of this position?

Are you gonna
hop on his cock?

Are you going to take
a ride on his face?

Are you going to turn around
and go reverse cowgirl?

What are we doing?
- Okay.

- There are many, many
glorious tasty things that

people get out of
being tied or tying.

For some people,
it might be orgasm.

Some people, it might be having
a meditative experience.

Making a partner's fantasy
happen or a little rough sex,

they get to play a little
evil villain in the bedroom.

For the person being tied,
it can also be a stillness,

of being so present in a way
that they've never actually

noticed what their
skin feels like.

Watching her unfold into her
power and watching the flow

of pleasure happen between
those two--

So if you wanted him to go
in the other direction,

which hand would you use?

For me to watch them stop
worrying if they're doing it

right, that is like the
best thing that can happen.

[ slap ]
Like that!

[ chuckles ]
- I'm feeling hot.

- In the undoing, you can
play as much as you like.

You're creating
sensation with the undoing.

To know that one belongs,
to be able to let go of

responsibility and sink
into a sensuous pleasure,

that is a sweet, sweet place.

- Hi.
[ laugh ]

- Hi.
- This is new.

This is never before.
How are you feeling?

- A light-headed,
a little fuzzy.

- You look really happy.

- I feel like my
arms are still bound.

I can feel like
they're still in.

- Do you need me to
hug you and hold you?

- No.

I'm just regaining
my space here.

- Okay.

[ crying ]

- I'll get you water.

Thank you.

- Thank you.

- I love you.

- Yeah, I didn't expect to
get so emotional at the end.

So it was weird,
but it was cool.

- I think that was the
moment when I was like,

oh, this was
really powerful for us.

To see you go
through that, I was like,

oh, this is amazing!

- Do you want to go
through the homework?

- Yeah.

I think it's cool that she
said I was the only one to

take notes in the book.
- To take notes in the book?

- Uh-huh.

- Naked homework means that
you and your partner are

going to go back to whatever
you're most comfortable

environment is.

They have to actually
immediately jump in

and practice.

- What is it about the
rope bondage that you like?

- Well, some of the things
I didn't think of I would like

is the sensation of the rope
when you were bringing

it across and wrapping
it around my body,

and I could lightly feel it.

I like being able to just
surrender and not have to

think about what to do next.

I don't want to think.
That's a favorite for me.

So it's that type of
things that I--I

want to stop thinking.

What about you?
- Being in control.

I didn't realize that I
would like it as much as I did,

which is good.

I now have this new path to
go down and experience with you.

Will you please
put my shoes on me?

- No.

You didn't ask
the right way.

- Put my shoes on me!

- What kind of mood
do we want today?

- I would like to
ramp it up a little bit.

It was playful and fun.

I think you are still trying
to dip your toe in the water.

I'd like to have you
a little bit more forceful.

- I want to get you
there and keep you there.

Thank you for
describing that.

Which color do you
think looks best on you?

I think--

I want to be able to
have him experience the

same thing I experience
when I'm being bottomed.

My thing is, I want to
be a good top for that,

to be able to help him
through that journey.

Being dominant,
but yet at the same time,

being caring about it.

- May I touch you?

- What are you
gonna have to say?

- May I have some pussy, please?
- Yeah.

I'm not just like,

"I'm gonna make you
do what I want you to do!"

I'm gonna make you do it, but I
want you to do it willingly.

- Do it right there.

- I like that I got into that,
got some space.

Yeah, that was super hot.

I'm still speechless in how
it's such a clearing house

for whatever I had
going on in my head.

So physically,
I was able to let go.

You were like a kitten.

- Oh, oh--

- I could tell that
you were so deep into it

and I was so happy for you.

- My favorite part is
when you got like the super

confidence that you got
when you're topping me.

- Phew!

- Well, that was a good
trip to San Francisco.

- Awww--

- Are you glad you
came, came again?

- And again.

Ding, ding, ding,
goes the trolley--

- It's a kinky trolley.

- Yeah, we wanna
make it that way.

- I didn't expect this to be
that impactful on my body

or my emotions or my mind,
my heart.

- That was really powerful.

Almost like wearing your
strap-on for the first time.

[ laugh ]

- Thank you, Midori.
- Thank you, Midori.

- How would you
describe your sex life?

- Active, but I'm
nervous talking about it.

- I have a good sex life.

- Unreliable.

- I could have
some more sex.

- Uh, okay.

- How would I
describe my sex life?

- Woo!

- Well, we're having sex
once a day and it is really

helping with our marriage.

- How would you
describe our sex life?

- Delightful.

- Fun.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

- Yay.

- I'd like three
times this morning.

- I'm having sex
about twice a week.

- I haven't done anything since
the second week of January.

And now it's like, what, March?

Feel like a born again virgin.
[ chuckles ]

- I have never had sex before.

- Sometimes I'm
having a lot of sex.

Sometimes I'm not
having that much sex.

- I feel like our sex life
has grown as we begin to

trust each other.

- I'm not as active as I was
when I was in my twenties.

But physical love is
still just as sweet.

- Ahhh--

[ laughs ]

- We're all experts
at intimacy avoidance.

How do you connect to
someone when you spend so

much time being disconnected?

- Feel the feminine current that
starts to flow within you.

- Let yourself
have fun with this!

- Having intimacy, having
a sense of a real connection

with another human being,
takes practice.

- Hi.
- Hi, everyone.

- Thank you, everyone, for
coming to Tantra Speed Date.

This is going to be your
special pouch with beads.

So you want to wear
that like a necklace,

like I'm wearing mine.
- Thank you.

- And then pick up
one of those cards.

Follow the
instructions on the back.

- Thank you so much, guys.
- Welcome.

- We teach conscious sexuality
classes all around the world.

And one of our most popular
classes is Tantra Speed Date.

- Have you ever done any
kind of speed dating--

- Never.

- Oh, you're in for a treat.
[ laugh ]

- We're gonna spoil you tonight.
Is that okay?

- That's great.

- Tantra Speed Date is not
about sexual connections.

Singles get together
and practice mindfulness

exercises with a dating
component.

It's fun, it's energizing,
it's healing, it's beautiful.

And everyone leaves
feeling full of love.

- Welcome, everyone,
to Tantra Speed Date.

Everybody take
a deep breath.

- Ahhh--

- So let us just
take a moment to hold

an intention in our hearts
that everyone that came

here tonight find whatever
it is that they seek.

This is gonna be
our first game.

It's a group game and
it's called Introduction.

So tell us your name
and then why you're here.

- My name is Kwabena.
I've done this once before.

It was a phenomenal experience.

I met great people,
good energy and why wouldn't

you want to do
something like that again?

- This is first speed dating
and I'm very curious person,

so I'm very excited.

- I'm a performance based
artist and I like to say

I love speaking multiple
languages not just with words,

but song, poetry, dance.
All are a form of language.

Because I'm single,
I'm exploring all different

options with regard
to meeting people.

I was in a four-year
relationship and it wasn't

a very healthy relationship.

And I was not being honest
with myself about what

I really wanted as a woman
from a partner since that

relationship ended.

It's been a continuous
journey and me saying yes

to me and connecting with
people that I wouldn't normally

think to connect with.

- So I'm going to ask a few
women to take another step

in and join hands
with your sisters.

And I'm going to ask the men,
please join hands on

the outside circle.

Tonight as you step in to
hold the masculine pull,

your mission is to create
a solid container for our

ceremony to hold space for
this event and to hold

space for the feminine.

- For me, connection is
the life-giving experience

that's really important to
establish human connection.

And a lot of times, people
are swiping and you can't

really get a sense of
how someone is with you.

- So take a deep
breath into your heart and,

on your exhale, send that
breath down the soles of

your feet, down into
the center of the earth.

Please open your eyes and
turn around and place your

right hand on the heart of
the man in front of you.

We created this event,
which is, you know,

geared as a dating event where
you learn relationship skills.

In the process, you're
interacting and practicing

those skills with a partner.

- The first station is
our Mirroring Station.

It will begin by
rubbing our hands together,

rubbing your hands
together and--oh,

faster, faster, faster.

- You get to see how do
I react to these skills?

How am I at learning
these skills?

And how is my partner at
learning these skills?

And do we have a chemistry
when we're working together?

- Harder, harder,
harder, and stop!

Put your hands facing your
partner as if you're looking

at a mirror image of each other.

Women, you can move
any way you want.

Men, mirror her movements.

- I'm Lillian.

I have a fairly
new dating history.

I was in a relationship
for eight years.

And then I've been single
for like a year and a half.

I tried dating app
for the first time.

When you meet up
on a dating app,

you're meeting to sit down
for tea or coffee or drinks

or whatever to
determine if you want to

have sex with the person.
[ laugh ]

Like that's kind of right
away sort of on everyone's mind.

- If your partner is smiling,
you're doing it right!

- And in this kind of a
situation, it's more like

how do our energies
vibrate with each other?

- All right, and at some point,
your mirroring will find

you mirroring each
other back into hands and

now must stay.
- Oh, so fun!

I came here tonight
because I am opening myself

up to finding my life partner.

You got like the rock
star thing going on too.

That was like--
- Oh, yeah, with the little--

- Yeah.

I get to explore and I get to
stretch beyond my comfort zone.

- Men, close your eyes.
Women, reaching for beads.

- The women choose.

If a woman has interacted
with a man that she wants

to connect with again,
she will take one of her

beads from her
pouch and place it in his pouch.

- Sit down.

I hope you remember how to play.

So as you hold hands, you can
lean backwards and forwards.

But feel how good it feels to
play backwards and forwards.

- I got so connected
to my inner child.

And I just became
such a fun experience, you know,

with this person that I had
never even met before.

Then just be laughing and
just enjoying each other's

presence, it was beautiful.

[ laughter ]

People don't
talk to each other.

They don't know
how to communicate.

[ laughter ]

So actually, intentionally
creating experiences that

allow for that, that kind of
connection is so important.

- I see that your joy
is ecstatic dance,

and my joy is doing yoga.

- You can get on a subway
and be this close to

100 people in a tiny box and
manage to not make eye

contact with a single person.

- This is such a different
experience than meeting

someone off of a dating app.

Being able to be guided in
the way in which we got

to connect, making
eye contact and touching each

other and laughing together
and playing together,

there was the presence of
something really special

that I haven't experienced
in dating before.

- Aahh--

- Make yourself
as cozy as you desire.

The idea is to think of him
as the ultimate teddy bear

and ask for what you want.
[ laugh ]

- I want to be held right now.

- Women, I invite
you to take a deep breath

into your feminine presence.

Allow a vision of your
future self to come to you.

I invite you to imagine how
your future self might be.

If you had access to this
type of masculine presence

from every man,
how would your future self be?

What kind of world
together we could create?

- The truth is that
practicing connection is

a skill and we're not taught.

- Thank you.

- Real human connection,
vulnerable connection,

and to be able to be
authentic with each other is

just a beautiful thing.

- I invite you to imagine
this woman that you hold

in your arms was
once a little girl.

- He had such a strong
presence and I felt like

I could just let myself go.

And I started crying and
I wasn't expecting that.

- And we'll take three
more breaths in this pose.

I want to thank the
men for making this energy

available to us tonight.

[ music ]

- Stripping is awesome.

It's basically just dancing
and they happen to not have

their clothes on.

So what's the big deal?

- Oh, we love strippers--
- Oh, yes,--

- We've been to numerous
strip clubs, or just one.

You have only been in one?
- I don't know.

Yeah, I know, we like strippers.
- We like strippers.

- I think if a guy stripped
for me, that would be

really interesting.
I've had it happen once.

- Pole dancing?

I'd be so down for
it if I had any rhythm

or strength in any of this.

- I strip for girls
all the time.

Like I walk around naked.

I've always been
the dude to like take

my shirt off and stuff,
you know.

I'm super down to strip, yeah.
I'll strip.

Shoot, I'll strip right now.
Y'all wanna see something?

[ laugh ]

[ music ]

- Women come here...

carrying a lot
of responsibilities,

spending all their time
folding the fuckin' laundry.

Life is dull and
it is an infinite expanse

of folding laundry.

And they come here
and they are part of this world

and this community
that is this magical sisterhood

of being seen, of being heard.

- The Strip Cabin is an event
that I hold for women only.

And women from
all walks of life,

from all over the world,
come together for a weekend

of total freedom to be the
woman that they really

are inside with no concerns
about impressing their boss,

their mom, their grandma.

It's a place that women can
come and strip down all

the limiting narratives that
they tell themselves and

just open up and be who
they really are and who they

really want to be.

- What are you looking
forward to for this weekend?

- I'm looking forward to
like getting sexy with

a bunch of women.

I think that'll be fun.

I don't get to do
that that often.

When I hang out with my friends,
I'm not like putting on sexy

clothes and spinning around
on poles and dancing.

What if I come home
with a girlfriend?

- Okay.
- Okay.

- I get it, yeah.

I mean, you'd probably let
me know before you get home.

- I will.
- Okay.

- The past year was really
challenging with my husband

being sick, me becoming like
the primary breadwinner.

We were in and out of
hospitals and he's finally

getting better.

And I feel like I can take
some time for myself to

just go have this really
awesome adventure.

One of the things I'm really
hoping to gain out of this

experience is being more
confident and comfortable

in my own body.

Yes!
I did it!

Respect a goddess
when you see one,

especially in the mirror.

Strip has a double meaning,
so while you are here,

you will see a lot
of literal stripping.

But it is also a metaphor
for a greater stripping down

of the walls that we
erect around ourselves.

Because most of us
feel all these feelings,

emotions and thoughts and we
close the doors in front of

that so that we don't
draw attention to ourselves,

so that we don't look stupid.

Pretty cool, right?

Someone coming to Strip
Cabin for the first time,

the general feeling is,

"Ah, I'm scared. Damn it!
Let's do this."

- Two days.
Love you, Babe.

- All right.
I love you too.

- I want to have an
experience that it's kind of

like a dream, but it's
real and it's happening.

And I get to show up and
just be a part of it and

find new parts of myself
that don't get to come out

very often.

All right, I'm on my
way to pick up Abi.

I'm excited to meet her.

Because she's been before
and I kind of want to pick

her brain a little about
what it was like for her.

Because it was
clearly good enough for

her to want to go back.

I see Abi!
I see her!

Uh-oh, wait.

Hello!
- Hi!

- How are you?
- I'm good.

It's good to meet you!
- I love your hair!

- I love your hair!
- Oh, my gosh!

And your nose ring!
How was your flight?

- It was good.
I slept.

- Oh, good.

Could you tell me a little
bit about what it's like

or what to expect?

- Nudity.
- Okay.

- First and foremost,
there will be tits.

- So why do you
like to go back again?

- I found a confidence
I never thought I would.

- Wow.

- Which was weird
for me because I thought

I was good
on that department.

My first retreat
changed my life completely.

I wasn't expecting to
have this like aha moment

or enlightenment, if you will.

I went home and
I quit my job.

And I broke up with my boyfriend
and I enrolled in school.

And everything
changed for me.

It was super positive,
super happy.

My biggest challenge this
time around would be to really,

really let go of some
of that extremely deep stuff

that I don't want
in my life anymore.

I'm looking to get rid of
that and I think I can do

it this weekend.

- Most will know
me as Lux ATL,

but before there
was ever a Lux,

there was a little girl
named Lindsay Burton from

Danville, Virginia.

And I don't know if
you ever been there,

but if you rearrange the
letters, it spells Eviland

and that's apt.

And you know what I was good at?
That was school.

So I thought,
"Well, hell, let me get a bunch

of degrees in English
and, that way,

I won't have to face
the adult world and,

at the end of this road,
I'll have a doctor in front

of my name."

You know what?
That's what I really wanted.

At the same time, I had
developed some notoriety

on the internet as Lux ATL
with my pole dancing videos.

I did not even know
exactly what I wanted to be,

but I'll tell you what
I didn't want to be,

and that was in an
office with no windows.

Hello!
- Yay!

- And that's how a little
country girl from Danville and

former university
instructor and lifelong stripper

started hosting all women events
in a cabin in Tennessee.

- Hello!
- Hi!

- Humping, humping,
humping, humping!

- Hi!
I'm so happy you're here.

- You're gonna have a blast!
- Oh, my gosh!

It's so cute!

- Party starts at eight,
so that's when you wanna

be sexy, sexy.

Okay, okay, and then
we're gonna dance.

- Ooh!

I gotta learn
your booty moves!

- I got you!
- Oh, wow.

- 110%, I got you.

- You get home, your
husband is gonna be like,

"So how many more
retreats can we go to?"

[ laugh ]

- One choice.
- So this is it?

- That's the back.

- It's very difficult to
love and accept yourself

in today's world,
especially as a female,

because of all of the
messages that we receive

from our surrounding society
and from media itself.

It's empowering to be
here at Strip Cabin because

everyone is very, very
accepting of each other here.

- Oo-la-la!

- No, you don't
have to be a stripper.

You don't have
to be a dancer.

You don't have to be anything
to come to these retreats,

and that's the beauty of it.

It's for everybody truly.

- I'm looking forward to
some of the people who have

been here before
showing me the moves.

- I'm just here to have fun,
get away from the family,

have just a ladies weekend.

I'm looking forward to learning
how to bring out my sexy.

- The entire message is
about accept yourself the

way you are.

And love yourself
the way you are.

And don't compare
yourself to anyone else.

- I'm ready.
- And it's just really fun.

It's really fun to dress up.
Makes us feel good.

- You know what?

I think that Orianna
Grande was right.

God is a woman!

[ music ]

- The newbies are 100%
ready to fucking go.

They are feeling
themselves, they're excited,

they're so stoked.

I mean, I guarantee that tonight
is gonna be a very good one.

I know Leah is
gonna be letting loose,

and you know what?

I think I'm gonna have to
teach her a little something

or other on the pole.

How about that?

- So how you feeling?
Are you getting nervous?

Are you excited?

- I'm really excited.

I feel less nervous,
but still a little nervous.

- I'm excited for you.
You're gonna have fun.

It's really a blast.

- Howdy, howdy, howdy!
Hi!

It's Strip Cabin time!

If you are in the
mood for Strip Cabin,

let me hear you say Amen!

- Amen!
- Amen!

Huggies, huggies.
Aw, beauty.

So the first night, women
are really getting to know

each other through this party.

Most women will,
at some point,

get up and dance.

Most women will end up
in some level of undress,

even the ones who
say they never would.

So, my friends, I'm so
happy that you're here.

This is the Amy show, my
sweet little homie from Nola.

This is the Lexie show which
is a goddamned good one!

[ laughter ]

- A woman like me,
you see, we are just the same.

This world cannot stop us.
Going hard with no shame!

So when you look at me and
you see something great,

know that I am looking back
and I'm thinking the same thing.

So when you look
at me, baby girl, see you.

Here's to you!
Strip Cabin!

- Woo!

[ music ]

- Live!

Live, Jessica Rabbit,
live your life!

- Regina's a good one.
- I saw her.

- Can you show her how
you man handle the pole?

- I don't know how
to do anything.

- Stripping at Strip Cabin
can be exhilarating for women

who have never done
anything like that before.

It is very liberating
and it's almost like you're

shedding fear.

- The first time
I got on the pole,

I was thinking
I might fall on my face.

- And slide your
hands down at your hips.

Go side to side.
Yeah!

- I decided I
would give it my all.

- And a gentle little pivot--
- Then go pivot.

- See what happens?
- Then pull up. Okay.

- If you can hold
yourself like that, you're good.

- Yes!
Yes!

- Woo!
- Yes.

[ cheers ]

[ overlapping chatter ]

- Yes!
Yes, bitch!

[ cheering ]

I think this one's
got explaining to do!

[ laughter ]

[ music ]

- Oh, my gosh, really?

- Boobs on boobs.
- Woo!

- This is blowing my mind.

- Boobs on boobs.
Boobs on boobs.

- I like that.

It's been an amazing experience
of being around some

incredibly beautiful beings

that are very comfortable
in their body.

- Baby's gonna
go down on you!

- I'll usually kick
off this party just like in

the olden days.

This is not cutesy,
performative, no.

Like I'm me as a
stripper, the real deal.

[ music ]

I'm putting boobs
in peoples' faces, okay?

I'm rolling around the floor.

- I'm still speechless.

I don't know
where to put my hands.

What do I do with my hands?

I kind of wanna touch her,
but maybe I'm not supposed to.

And she just kind of took over.

She's incredible.

- Thank you.

[ cheers ]

- I'm gonna shuffle
the cards three times.

- Three times.
Okay.

- And then I'm gonna lay them
out for you in three stacks.

- A lot of these women,
they ain't be heard in 17 years.

They ain't looked at
themselves in the mirror and

thought anything good about
themselves in a real long time.

- You just put them
back into one big stack

however you want.

- And this isn't the minority.
This is the majority.

- The energy is a
little scattered right now.

It's because you're
refusing to compromise.

- I like to come to these
retreats because it's

an outlet for me to kind of
regain and center myself.

- As much as you are
inherently have a fierceness,

you don't have to
show up armored.

- In 2017, I went
through cancer and didn't tell

hardly anyone that I was sick.

I wore a wig so
no one knew that I was bald.

- However you are that day,
fuckin' own it!

Show up like that's you!

- Like I put a wig on,
but it wasn't the same.

When I took the wig off,
I was still bald.

But I viewed myself sort
of the way I was before,

but you walk by a
mirror and you glance.

You see a stranger
looking back at you.

I lost who I was.

- And it's sort of like
I have to defend my home.

I have to protect what is mine.

- Lux actually extended
the offer to me following

a tragic event with
losing my youngest daughter.

- You're rising up
out of the depths.

You know, she's
coming out of the water.

They're both coming
out of the water.

You have been in it.

You've been deep in
emotion and you're rising.

- She just wanted to give
me something that would be

comforting to me and just
come into a community where

people can put
their arms around me.

And I can just talk about
things that were affecting me.

- We have our
bodies policed a lot.

Being a plus-size person, my
body is policed pretty heavily.

- It definitely
changed my life.

I've gone through
a lot of trauma.

- These few
months of my life,

I've been really stressful
and very like depressing.

- We all want to say, "Oh, I
love myself and I feel great",

but we're all here
because there's some things

we don't 100% love.

- Okay, there have been
times it didn't show up.

I did try to trust.

I wanted to believe,
and it didn't happen.

But you're in a
new place now.

- I've forgotten that
I don't need to feel so

gross all the time.

I need to remind
myself that I'm a strong person

and that I am worth being here.

- So I kind of know
all these people,

so I'm just like,

"It is true about her,
isn't it?

She does take the
weight of the world on her

shoulders after all."

- Yeah.
[ laugh ]

- Damn, man, I didn't
expect to feel that way,

but yet here we are.

- Strip Cabin!
- Strip Cabin!

- Tits and tears!

Tits and tears at
the Strip Cabin, everybody!

- This workshop, Strip Craft,
is foundational to my career.

I am a former
university instructor,

a lifelong stripper turned
itinerate preacher for

women's empowerment
through sensual awakening.

The first half is what
I call a feminist sermon.

It's like the female
empowerment motivational

speech of your lifetime.

We are taught that
it is ugly to do this sort of

self-reflection on the ways
in which we are great.

We are taught instead that
it is noble and honorable

to think about all the
fuckin' ways you suck.

Now that we can respect.
They love it.

They love it when
you list your flaws.

Here's what I wanna tell you.

Don't let all of your beauty
pass you by with everybody

in the world seeing it but you.

It's already in you.

There is nothing that
needs to be invented!

There is nothing more
that you need to be!

It is already there!
Just find it!

I won't tell you it will be
easy and I won't tell you

that it will always be fun.

But sometimes it will be.

And then the second
part is movement, sexy movement.

We're rolling around the
floor, we're rolling

around with each other.

Are you nervous?

Take that shit
out of your head!

Put it on the shelf and be
that woman that you actually

know is inside.

- Day one, everyone
is coming with like,

as you would meet any stranger,
like a sense of anticipation.

And day two, every woman
unfurls her layers a little bit.

It's beautiful.

- There was that sense of
I'm covered up and I'm ready

to not be.

I feel at home.

I feel at home
with these women.

I feel at home myself
and I just want to like invite

more of that out.

I still have those
voices in my head that are

judging me and are
self-conscious and are

questioning the freedom
I allowed myself today.

If those voices went away,
I would walk through the world

completely in myself,
aligned with my truth and

feeling pretty fucking amazing.

- Woo!

- And this is Strip Craft.

Thank you so much.
- Woo!

- I feel a part of me did
get awakened and opened

and allowed to express itself.

And now that I've
had that experience,

I can re-access that
space of true freedom and

liberation and self-expression.

- Like something broke open
in me and it's there now.

And I'm not gonna lose it.
Thank you so much.

- It doesn't matter.

It doesn't matter how
I choose to identify.

It doesn't matter how
anyone else sees me.

Because there's
a space in me that it just

is and I can access that.

So all of the definitions
and labels and boxes cease

to exist when I am
in that space.

- Let's start
over by that window.

- Okay.

- I always tell people
I'm an okay photographer.

I'm an expert at getting
people comfortable in

the front of the camera.

So it's my job.
It's what I do.

- Peel!
I love just like that.

That's perfect!
Yes.

Close your eyes again.

When we go back
to the real world,

it's really hard and
it's really jarring.

Because we're in this
nurturing little happy

bubble where everyone is
telling us we're beautiful

and everyone is helping us.

And then we go to the real
world where lots of things suck.

And I think the photography
is the important part of it

'cause seeing it again can
help you bring back those

emotions and feel
that sense of comfort.

- I can't wait to
see the pictures!

It's always so exciting for me.
Thank you.

- So we had this
killer dance party.

And I think, after being
here all weekend with

these amazing people,
I was just really ready to

dance my ass off.

So we did and it was so fun.
It was amazing.

If you just look at a
few images of this event,

it might look like
girls gone wild.

It's not like that to
actually be here at all.

It's more about stripping
away the layers that keep

you from being who you are.

And the clothes are
just an afterthought.

- First things first, I'm
gonna start loving myself again.

I lost that for a minute
for the last few months.

And this awakens for me,
refreshed, that feeling of

being confident
and supporting myself.

I matter, I am important,
and I don't have to be

afraid of what
people think of me, period.

- I'm happy you
had a good time.

I told you it
was gonna be easy.

- It was.
You were right.

Actually, you were right
about pretty much everything

you told me to
expect about the weekend.

You were spot on.

It has been even more
amazing than I thought it

was gonna be.
- Yeah.

I'm so happy to see
you doing so well,

and I'm really proud of you.

- It was your fuckin'
fire under my ass, so thank you.

- Yeah.
My pleasure, man.

I love you with
all my heart.

- I love you too.
Thank you.

- I appreciate you.
- I appreciate you.

- Thank you.

- So people often wonder why
we take our clothes off

and why there's nudity involved.

And the answer,
I think, for a lot of us and

a lot of women is
we have a lot of trauma involved

with our bodies,
self-hatred, self-loathing.

We've been victimized
physically and it makes you

lose this connection
with your body.

It makes you view
your body as this enemy.

We are so indoctrinated
into thinking our bodies

are a problem.

And that's why the
nudity matters here.

Because this is the
place where you see,

if only for this brief weekend,
where you can see this body

is not actually a problem.

And it's the only
one I have and, goddamn it,

I'm gonna fuckin' love it!