Sex/Life (2021–…): Season 1, Episode 4 - New New York - full transcript

New York can feel
like a dream sometimes.

And I came here looking for mine.

For a life
I couldn't have back in Georgia.

And me and Sash, we found that life.

Together.

♪ All the girls get together and rule ♪

♪ All the girls... ♪

We were so damn shiny back then,
you could see us from 30,000 feet.

Sure, we did tons of crazy shit,

but we always did it together.

Wait, wait, wait.



Oh, my God.

We need beers.

Do you wanna help me get some beers, Sash?

- Yes.
- Mmm. Hells, yeah.

Four beers coming right up.

Jesus, your guy is so fucking hot!

- Oh.
- Oh, no wonder you're never home lately.

Um, excuse me. Your guy is so fucking hot.

But fun fact, mine has a giant joystick.

Ooh.

- Yes.
- Painful giant or good giant?

Mmm, just-right giant.
I mean, you need to try it.

It's kind of a crime if you don't.

You mean, like a swap?



Mm-hm.

'Cause truth, it's kind of a crime
if you don't try the tongue on Taye.

Girl, the way he works it in my kitty cat?

- Ooh!
- Mm!

Mad skills!

- Okay. Is this insane?
- Hell, no.

- They're just dudes.
- Yeah.

It's you and me always.

Always. Yes.

Sorry, it takes an awful long time
to get a beer around here.

What are you girls talking about?

You.

Sweet. Shit like this never happened
back in Ohio.

Hey, where'd the pretty ladies go?

♪ I'm lucky and enough selfish ♪

♪ And use just anything you can take... ♪

We were thick as thieves.

Nothing could break us.

♪ I'm sorry
I forgot my mistake... ♪

You and me.

Always.

♪ All the girls get together and rule ♪

♪ All the girls get together and rule ♪

♪ All the girls get together and rule ♪

♪ All the girls
Revolution has come ♪

You awake?

Mm-mm.

Was I right about
his next-level skills or what?

So right.

Four stars.

Okay, but we still got papers due
in six hours.

The perfect peen was a bit distracting,
didn't keep me from outlining in my head.

Oh, but my head weighs a billion pounds.
I'm never gonna make it.

- Like hell we won't.
- No!

Girl, you know we can whip up something
A-plus-plus for Sumner by class.

Come on. We got this.

Whoo.

Okay. Ready?

Mm-hm.

Billz, this is brilliant.

I mean, this is brilliant too.

- We are doing some genius-level work here.
- Look how hot we look when we doing it.

- Oh, girl. You know it.
- Hey.

- What's for breakfast?
- H&H Bagels on the corner.

- We like sesame. Toasted.
- Toasted.

Sasha and I have never had secrets.

Till now.

Of course Sasha succumbed.
Brad has that effect on women.

And I meant what I said,
I have no right to be upset.

What matters is, I shouldn't have watched.

I have to fix this.

Unless it's too late
and she already knows.

I mean, Brad must have told her, right?

I think it feels like a waffles kind of...

It's supposed to cool down today.
The kids will probably need sweaters.

Mm-hm.

I'm gonna take a shower.

Hi, it's Sasha. Leave me a message.

Hey, Sash. Um, I got your text.

Call me back when you can.
I need to, uh, talk to you too.

- Yo.
- Dev.

Hey, man, um...

Sorry. I'm not gonna make this morning.
I'm gonna need you to cover for me.

Dude, again? Seriously?

For someone who became the big guy
around here, you're not around here much.

Yeah, okay, I got it.
Just help me out here.

Okay? I've got a...

I have to go to this thing
at Hudson's school.

Apparently he's having
a hard time transitioning.

Uh, they want us both to come in
for this conference.

I'm having a hard time transitioning
into doing two people's jobs.

Okay? There better be a Frappuccino
in this for me when you come back.

Extra whip.

I'll be in as soon as I can. Thanks, bud.

All right.

You can do this.
Look, you are such a big boy.

I mean, you don't need Mommy looking
over your shoulder all day long, right?

Oh, perfect.

Hudson, I have a surprise for you.

Would you like to come
for a play date after school

with Hannah and some of the other kids?

There will be Paw Patrol and a trampoline,
and we're gonna make fudgsicles!

Don't worry, unsweetened oat milk,
carrot powder and agave,

no dairy, nuts, no sugar.

Oh, okay. Well, what do you think, honey?

Okay.

- Okay. All right!
- Okay.

Well, that sounds fun,
but for now, Hudson,

go find Hannah and Rory at the blocks.

Have a great day, sweetie.

I love you, Mommy.

I love you too.

Caroline, I mean, thanks so much
for being so sweet with him,

and that is such a nice offer.

But, um, I'm just not sure
what we're gonna do after school today.

Well, I am.

My nanny is picking up the kids
so you and me

and some of the other moms
can have a day in the city.

Judy read a Times article
on SoHo hot spots.

It will be like a treasure hunt.
You have to come.

That sounds... amazing.

Yeah. Um, but you know what?

I have the baby and there's just something
really pressing that I need to do, so...

You never say yes to us.

You need a break. You deserve it.

Bring the baby.
That's what strollers are for.

Actually, it might be good for me
to get into the city today.

Yes! That's more like it.

- Yeah.
- I am forcing you to have fun with us.

- Okay. All right.
- Come on!

Excuse me. Can I help you?

Nope, I'm good.

Yeah, I signed them off
a scratch track demo. Mm-hm.

They're that good.

- Hold on. I'll call you back.
- Excuse me.

It's okay, Julie. I've got this.

I'm Cooper Connelly.

I know who you are.

It's nice to see you
with your clothes on, mate.

I was wondering when you'd finally get
the balls to talk to me.

I guess she told you.

She told me what?

So you're...
I mean, you're talking to Billie.

I ran into her.

- Sent her a text.
- A text?

What the fuck?

Dude, it's a text. Okay?
It's not a big deal.

You don't get to tell me
what's a big deal.

Now listen to me.

Stay the fuck away from my wife.

Fucking piece of shit.

So this whole area
is a historic landmark.

Not just the buildings
but the cobblestones too.

So old!

- I wish we had a Zuhair Murad by us.
- Oh, it's so chic.

- Am I too old to wear that?
- You could totally wear that.

- Look at your legs.
- I wish Sasha would call me back.

This neighborhood was ground zero
for our crazy nights on the town.

This is where it all happened.
Where I felt like I was my best self.

Nice jacket.

That little army-navy gem has served
you well, but it's time for an upgrade.

Come on. Let's go spend your rent.

Bingo.

Mmm?

♪ So take me as I am
Watch me as I go ♪

♪ I've been sailing seas
'Fore you jumped afloat ♪

♪ And now you're standing
On the sidewalk... ♪

- Oh, honey, yes! Yeah!
- Yes?

Okay, come on. Oh, my God.
I told him 9:30 and it's almost 10.

It's right there. It's right there. Oh!

- Careful, ladies.
- Yeah.

Thank you, Officer Handsome.

Billie.

Oh, hi! Hey. Sorry.

- Sorry we're late.
- No, I get it.

Takes time to travel here
from the, uh, Victorian era.

Hey, we take "costume optional"
very seriously.

- We always do it up for Voltaire.
- Oh, yeah.

- Yeah.
- Okay.

Now. Sasha, this is Brad.

And Brad, this is Sasha.

- Kossi's friend.
- I asked you to give her a ride home.

Looks like you gave her
a lot more than that.

You know you scare
the shit out of me, right?

Good.

Welcome to the party, dreamboat.

♪ I'll run with the wind and I'll grow ♪

♪ A set of wings and free fall... ♪

Hi!

♪ So take me as I am
Watch me as I go... ♪

- Come on, just let me see.
- Not yet.

That's it.

All done.

- Thanks.
- Okay, I'm going on a break.

You guys take your time.

♪ I am not afraid to do this alone ♪

♪ I know that it scares you
But I am my own home ♪

♪ And I cried... ♪

It's you and me.

♪ I am not afraid to do this alone... ♪

Brad and Billie. Two B's.

Forever.

I love you.

♪ Change in love... ♪

I love you so fucking much.

I love you too.

♪ Picked myself up
Off the fucking ground... ♪

Oh, my God.

- I'm so sorry.
- No, come here. Come here.

I'm not done with you yet.

♪ I am not afraid to do this alone ♪

♪ I know that it scares you
But I am my own home ♪

♪ I am not afraid... ♪

♪ I know that it scares you
But I am my own home ♪

♪ I am not afraid to do this alone ♪

♪ I know that it scares you
But I am my own home ♪

♪ I am not afraid to do this alone ♪

- Billie!
- We got you red velvet.

- This is a cupcake store now?
- What's wrong, honey?

This used to be a tattoo parlor.

Everything's changed.

This place used to be so different.

I used to be different.

You've been here before?

I lived here.

Right around the corner.

- I mean, my boyfriend did.
- Ooh!

- Her boyfriend.
- Who was he?

- He was a record producer, but...
- A record producer?

That is so cool.

No, it is not cool.

It's a real problem. I mean, I can't...

I can't stop thinking about him.

Like nonstop.

And it's fucking up everything,
even with my best friend.

It's okay.
You don't have to talk about it.

- We'll stop asking.
- I just...

I miss it, you know? I miss it so much.

That part of me, you know,
that I thought was over when I met Cooper,

but now it's, like, screaming
from inside me, "I'm still here!"

You know, this version of me
before... all of this.

If the Billie who was here ten years ago
could see me now...

I mean, cupcakes.

What the fuck am I doing?

I'm...

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I know I should be happy.

But I'm going through, like,
a major fucking crisis right now.

Honey, you're not in crisis.

You're married.

Well...

Everyone has doubts sometimes.

You get stuck in a routine, you start
to wonder about the road not taken.

The past is sneaky like that.

It helps to talk about it. You have us.

- I have to go. You know...
- No, please.

There's something
that I really need to go do.

You get Hudson over
his freak-out, super dad?

Hmm?

Oh, yeah, no, he'll be fine.

Come on. What's going on with you?
You're all over the place.

I'm just dealing
with some weird shit at home.

I love weird shit. Spill.

Come here.

It's Billie.

She's been writing in her journal
about her ex-boyfriend

and all the sex they used to have.

Like, like epic sex.

And I read it.

I mean, every graphic, X-rated detail,
and I can't stop.

Holy shit, Billie's freaky.

It's like you're living
in an actual porno. Can I read it?

Okay, this isn't
just some trippy fantasy of hers.

Turns out, she's talking to the guy.
God knows what else.

- Do you think she's actually cheating?
- Honestly, I don't know. I...

If she was, she wouldn't need
to fantasize about it in her journal.

Right?

Then I don't see what the problem is.

So she's a horny housewife. Big deal.
Welcome to suburbia.

It is a big deal. I haven't done
half the shit that she's writing about.

This guy's some fantasy stallion,
and turns out she is insatiable.

I mean, literally, like,
the most sexual person I've ever met.

Sorry. Picturing.

We just had two kids, you know?

It's not like I don't know how to fuck her

or that I haven't tried
some of this stuff before.

Yeah, you have.

She's the mother of my children.

I don't need to think
about her being slammed by some guy

in the back of a downtown club
in front of anybody that walks in.

- That is so hot.
- I mean... Okay, what...

Hey, but you are too.

Look...

the truth is...

I'm just not that into it sometimes.

All right? You know, the equipment

takes a little longer
to work these days, you know?

So, what do want me
to Postmate you some Viagra?

Get over it!

Neither one of us is 18 anymore.
Chicks have always been into you.

If you haven't done
half the crazy shit Billie has,

it's not because no one wanted to.

You've just been playing
this nice guy forever.

- I am a nice guy.
- Look where that got you.

You're so focused at work,
you're busy being super dad,

you've forgotten you.

We're going out tonight.

We're going out tonight, we're gonna work
that big-dick energy back up.

- What does that even mean?
- Okay.

Billie's reveling in her glory days.

Don't you miss yours?

- I'm not gonna cheat on my wife, Devon.
- No shit!

Okay, we're gonna go out. Right?

We're gonna test your market value
with some fillies.

While they're pining away over you,
just like the good old days,

and you feel that pheromone rush
tingling all over, yeah, you're gonna...

You're gonna bring
that savage BDE home to your wife

and you're gonna satiate
her insatiable ass.

Okay. That sounds adorable.
Really. Heart-warming. But no.

I'm telling you, Coop, women are witchy.

They can sense
when another woman's hot for their man.

Yeah, but I'm not trying
to pour gas on this fire, Devon.

I'm trying to put it out.

I'm pretty sure
the BDE is not gonna do that.

Lucky for you,
I'm sure enough for the both of us. Okay?

- Look at me, this is gonna be fun. Yeah.
- No.

- No. No!
- Yeah.

- Hey.
- Billie.

- Hey.
- I've, uh...

I've been, uh, trying to reach you.

I know. I got slammed
reading the galley of my new book.

The editor needs it by 6
and I'm about to teach,

but, um, listen,
I really need to talk to you.

Me first. Okay?

I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry.

Why are you sorry?
I'm the one who's sorry.

I had sex with Brad last night.

He stopped by my apartment,
and I wasn't going to, I swear, I wasn't...

- I know.
- I just...

I know. I know all of it.

How do you know?

Uh...

Because...

I watched you.

Brad's been calling me, texting,
and then last night he FaceTimed.

I should have turned it off.
I know. But I didn't.

I watched you guys.
I watched... all of it.

Holy shit.

That sick Aussie fuck!

Wait, how did my ass look?

If you were watching,
I would've tried harder.

Given you the VIP show.

Your ass looked pretty damn good to me.

Oh, thank you.

I've been doing mad squats.
I'm glad they haven't gone to waste.

So you're not upset?

With you? Never.

We've seen each other do
so much crazy shit.

- Okay, good.
- But, listen, you are playing with fire.

You need to put down the Brad matches now.

I know.

What did he say?
You said he's been calling.

Writing in your journal is one thing.

Making an instruction manual
for your husband, fine.

But talking to Brad?

What did he say?

That he's been trying
not to think about me for eight years

and... now he's fucked.

No.

This is crossing a motherfucking line.
You need to shut it down.

- Now.
- It just happened.

Please. Brad is not some all-powerful god.

And I am not your sexual avatar for
an obsession that is gonna destroy you.

No more Brad.

At all.

- Promise me you'll stop.
- I'm sorry. I should go.

Hey.

Promise me.

Yes. Yes. Yes.

I promise.

I promise.

B?

Are you okay?

I have a tourist map of SoHo
in my purse. You know?

So how okay can I be?

Yes.

Yes. Am I right or am I right, huh?
See, this is what I'm talking about.

It's like your carefree days
of yesteryear, bud.

You are like a really full-of-shit Yoda.
You know that, right?

I cannot believe you talked me into this.
I should be with my family.

Hey, look, we used to come here
every day after work, and you know what?

You enjoyed it.

- That was like a lifetime ago, Dev.
- Exactly.

You need to remember who you were.

Billie's out there
thinking about her loved-up past.

So should you.

- Hot women wanted you.
- Okay.

- That's the BDE you gotta bring home.
- All right, I got it.

What the...?

Well, lookie here.

Who just happens
to be sitting at the bar? Waiting for you.

Okay, what did you do?

- Remember who you were.
- No, no, no.

I'm gonna go
to the bar, get us a drink.

Hey, listen to me. Listen to me.
You're a firecracker. Hi, Em.

- Cooper.
- Em.

- Hey.
- Hey.

- You never age. You look incredible.
- Thank you.

- I mean, God, so do you.
- It's really good to see you.

Such a nice surprise when Devon called.

Next stop, 125th Street.

Sasha's right.

I am playing with fire.

He may not be a god,
but he's always been impossible to resist.

What time's your flight?

I have to be at LaGuardia in 45 minutes.

Do you know how beautiful
you look right now?

I really, really have to go.

♪ Two wrongs, no rights... ♪

Georgia will still be there next weekend.

Hmm?

But my family reunion won't.

♪ From the outside ♪

♪ Everyone must be wondering
Why we... ♪

Come on.

It doesn't get any better than this, B.

♪ Baby, in our wildest moments ♪

♪ We could be the greatest
We could be the greatest ♪

♪ Maybe in our wildest moments ♪

♪ We could be the worst of all ♪

♪ Baby, in our wildest moments ♪

♪ We could be the greatest
We could be the greatest ♪

♪ Maybe in our wildest moments ♪

♪ We could be the worst of all ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Wait on, the thunder sky ♪

♪ Wherever there's smoke
There'll soon be fire ♪

♪ And what could bring bad luck ♪

♪ I've been looking at you too much ♪

♪ From the outside, from the outside ♪

♪ Everyone must be wondering why we try ♪

♪ Why do we try? ♪

♪ Baby, in our wildest moments... ♪

I love you.

I love you too.

♪ We could be the worst of all ♪

♪ Baby, in our wildest moments ♪

♪ We could be the greatest
We could be the greatest... ♪

Billie! I'm so glad you're okay.
We were worried.

I'm so sorry I ran off like that.

You were so nice
to organize all of this and...

Do not spend another second worrying
about it. The kids are knee-deep in Legos.

Let's just let them keep playing.

And you can come sit,
have a glass of wine with us?

I shouldn't. I left Ellary with Olga.

If she wakes up...

She'll give her a bottle.
Or she'll call you.

Stay.

We really are your friends.
At least we wanna be.

That sounds great.

So work sounds good. How's Matt doing?

I haven't seen him in forever.

Me neither.
We divorced a couple years ago.

Oh.

Shit. I didn't know.
I'm so sorry.

That's why I was so happy
when Devon called.

He said
you guys have been talking about me?

That I was on your mind.

Em, I...

Listen, I think
we got our wires crossed. Okay? I...

I have been talking to Devon.

And, yes, Billie and I have hit
a few bumps recently, but...

I mean, this is like ten steps too far.

Oh.

Okay.

Fuck. I'm sorry.

No, it's not a problem.

She really is a lucky girl.

So here's what's gonna happen.

I'm gonna go powder my nose,
catch up with my girlfriends,

and make sure that this blowout
and dress don't go to waste.

Sounds like a plan.

Motherfucker!

I am blinded by the light of that BDE.
I gotta look away.

- Boom! Up top!
- What the fuck is wrong with you?

Okay, this isn't about Emily.
She is a sweetheart. She's not Billie.

I love my wife. I have since the second
I laid eyes on her. You know?

She's formidable.
And she made me feel that way too.

Fine. You want formidable?

There you go.

- That's what's up.
- No, Devon...

- Cooper.
- Hey.

You've come out to play.

Yeah, I felt like I had
to blow some steam off, I guess.

It was really nice to see you.

Yeah, you too, Em.

Bye, Cooper.

We'll see ya.

Well, okay, then.
Pretty sure that wasn't your wife.

It's, uh, ex-girlfriend.

Um, the past has been sneaking up
on me lately.

Seemed pretty present to me.

So you like tequila?

- Come on, just finish the bottle.
- Okay, check this out.

Billie, we know you had a rough day.

So we got you something!

Oh, my God.

You guys!

I can't.

It's fake.
Don't tell anyone, we all got one.

Canal Street. Can you believe it?
It looks so real.

I am just so sorry for today.

For losing it like that.

I'm going through some things, clearly.

- I don't know. I...
- Honey. We get it.

I had a guy.

An ex I couldn't stop thinking about.

Really?

He was a musician too.

All the things Jack isn't.

And let's be honest, will never be.

He had a guru.

We lived together on an ashram in Goa.

Can you imagine me there?

Oh, my God. I can't. Like, at all.

I only ate chickpeas and rice
for about six months, but...

I was so in love.

I would have done anything.

Of course, that never lasts. Heh.
The breakup was nuclear.

I didn't think about him for years, then
one day couldn't get him out of my head.

Same as you.

So I looked him up. Found him on Facebook.

Turns out he works
in the concrete business now.

He's fat, he's bald, just like his dad.

Believe me, I got real real fast
about how good I have it...

and how much I love my husband.

Billie, you should do that.

Facebook, Google.

I promise,
it'll be the end of the fantasy.

Yeah.

Sometime let's do that.

No. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on.
You're going completely out of order here.

Since when do I follow the rules?
Come on. Live on the edge, Connelly.

Oh, right. Yep. Here we go. Yeah.

- Wow. So the tie does come off.
- Whew!

Oh, it does. It does.

I figured since we were breaking
the rules, that would be okay.

Oh, it's very okay.

You know, there is a great whiskey joint
on Perry Street, all the way west.

It's right by my place.
Why don't we get a nightcap?

Actually...

I should probably go home.

You're right.

That's probably a good idea.

That's a good idea. I should go home.

- Hey.
- Hey.

- You okay?
- Yeah.

It's just been a long day.

Wine helps.

Billie. It's just me now.

And I know
a fake Chanel bag can't fix everything.

Real Chanel maybe.

Marriages can fall into a rut.

I get it. Believe me, I do.

But the way out of that rut is not
through your old boyfriend.

Forget him.

You need to spice things up
with your husband.

Do it together.

I think I may have screwed things up
past the point of sexy lingerie.

There are other ways.

Who's Brad?

Is that him?

I... I should probably take this outside.

This has to stop. I'm done.

I don't think you are done. In fact,
I think you're enjoying this way too much.

No. No.

This is all you.

Really?

Mmm. Then how come
your husband came to see me today?

♪ You keep dreaming... ♪

And for the record, I'm pretty sure
he thinks you're enjoying it too.

What did you say to him?

Billie, of course I protected you.

I got you.

♪ And they say you're suspicious... ♪

Okay. All right. This...

This has gone on way further
than it ever should have.

I have a life here.

This... This isn't real.

What if it is?

Here I am, B.

♪ You're holding me down and... ♪

All of me.

It's all for you.

Maybe he is a god.

But the flesh is all too real.

'Cause he's wearing me
on his body. On his skin.

Still.