Servant of the People (2015–…): Season 1, Episode 13 - Episode #1.13 - full transcript
...regarding Holoborodko's tax campaign,
Yana Klymenko is reporting on the details.
The president is calling on everyone
to work legally and pay taxes.
But not everyone shares
Vasyl Petrovych's opinion.
We're here!
How much?
Ninety hryvnias.
Look, I don't have change.
Keep the change.
May I have a receipt?
Honey, dear, what receipt?
Receipts are for licensed cabs.
You're an illegal taxi driver?
Dad!
-Dad!
-Not so loud.
Why are you yelling?
Do you think it's okay
to be an unlicensed taxi driver?
Am I stupid? A license costs money.
Plus, if I work legally,
they will cut my pension, fershtein?
I fershtein.
Do you fershtein
that it's illegal to evade taxes?
I don't pay taxes.
All they do is steal your money.
Who? You think I steal?
No! But others do.
Why the hassle?
-Don't you have work to do?
-I don't.
Thanks to you and others like you.
You don't pay taxes, so the vault is dry.
How am I special?
Why not say something to Sveta?
If I have to, I will.
What's there to say?
The railway company pays the taxes for me.
It's not about that.
As if nobody knows that you and your lover
run an illicit diner car.
-Dad!
-Am I public enemy number one?
Imagine how much she makes
and doesn't pay in excess.
The cognac Mom gets
brings in 100,000 alone.
Petya!
She receives
10 bottles a day at the clinic.
-Do the math yourself.
-Petya!
What "Petya"?
As if you didn't know.
Or didn't you?
PRESIDENTIAL ADMINISTRATION OF UKRAINE
-Lieutenant Landyk. Your documents?
-Is everything okay?
Show us your documents
and then we'll see.
And your taxi license.
License?
Why do you need that?
As part of a city-wide dragnet operation,
all cabs are being checked.
Officer, maybe you don't recognize me?
That's why I stopped you,
Petro Vasylyovych.
To make an exception?
-An exception?
-Yes.
It was actually you
that the president ordered us
to inspect stringently.
Again, your license, please.
Vasya...
Excuse me.
Vasyl Petrovych!
For crying out loud, what is it?
-I--
-Do you have a life?
Me-me-me!
Why are you following me around?
What a joke!
If I need protection, it's from you.
-Stop following me. Got it?
-Got it.
Crystal clear?
-Yes.
-Wonderful.
All the best.
Stop crying.
Take my handkerchief. Wipe your face.
Consider that a presidential order.
That's enough crying.
Okay, what can I do for you?
Talk to him, please.
Just talk to him.
Okay, I'll talk to him.
Thank you.
Girls, please don't take any pictures.
-Thanks!
-We'll help you. Girls!
Would you stop taking pictures?
The president is speaking with the people.
-Thanks.
-I said, you're welcome, already.
This lady is nice.
She's not taking photos, but you...
I just praised you
and now you're taking photos?
Thank you, Vasyl Petrovych!
Olya Yurievna, did you call for me? Yes?
Have a seat.
At your service.
-Dmitriy Vasilievich.
-Yes?
We need to have a serious talk.
You're smiling,
but our conversation won't be pleasant.
Given the current situation at hand,
I don't have any choice.
-I have to--
-Olya Yurievna!
I deeply apologize.
One second, please! One.
I asked you to lower the volume
on your game.
Dad, come on!
Make it quieter or louder...
Make up your mind.
Don't chide me, child.
-Does your throat hurt?
-No.
That's good.
Dad will come back soon.
Excuse me.
She's sick and I have no sitter.
Maybe take her to the doctor
and we could talk later?
She's okay. We saw a doctor.
Anyway, I'm better than any doctor.
Sorry. I'm here...
I wanted to tell you,
Dmitriy Vasilievich, that...
Hello!
Hello.
Dad, how do I turn on the game?
Alisa, you should be ashamed!
Olya Yurievna, sorry.
No problem.
Like this. Lord...
She's so grown-up, yet not independent.
No worries.
Sorry.
How old is your Dima?
Dima is ten.
Ten?
She's also ten!
-Really? Same age.
-Yes!
You mentioned
that Dima takes drama classes?
I was thinking of signing Alisa up.
Sure, acting is a good thing.
We had a problematic "r".
Now we're correcting it.
I see. You have a problematic "r".
We have a whistling "sh".
Who does?
Never mind. I'll tell you later. Go now.
Sorry.
You see...
she's cooped up.
I don't know what to do.
I'm raising her by myself.
Where is her mom?
She has no mom.
Pardon me, please. I wasn't aware.
No, her mother is alive.
By "no", I meant figuratively.
She's alive, thank God.
She has a drinking issue.
Overall, it's a long story. Okay...
What were you saying?
I...
In fact...
How's the currency market?
It's stabilized.
Really?
Great.
Okay, then. You can go.
-That's all I wanted to know.
-Really?
Have a nice day.
Thank you.
Say hi to Alisa.
Thank you.
-Dad!
-Yes?
Why did you say I was sick?
Are you healthy?
Yes!
That's great.
Hello.
Why did I take her? I missed her.
I can't see her every six months?
What dolphinarium?
I have a meeting in two hours. Later, bye.
What did you say about drama classes?
Don't worry. You won't be taking
drama classes. Everything's okay.
But I want to.
-You want to?
-Yes.
Then mom will enroll you somehow.
-Bye.
-Okay, bye.
What do you mean, they won't come?
They refused. They said they were busy.
Everyone?
Everyone.
Mikhail Ivanovich,
historically, not one lawmaker ever came.
Immunity from prosecution,
government business...
Fine.
If the mountain
won't come to Muhammad, then I will.
I'll pay a visit to the public servants.
Sergei Leonidovich,
I combed over
your declaration for last year.
Under "real estate", you listed a flat
on the outskirts of town,
42 square meters in area.
That's correct.
You live in a flat
with your wife and two children.
We nestle,
in so-called Spartan conditions.
It's a squeeze but we're happy.
Then why don't you live
in a three-story home
in a posh suburb of Kiev?
Because it's improper for a person my age
to live with their parents.
The house belongs to my mother.
Your mother.
My mother.
Interesting. Why does your mother
own a farming business?
My mom grew up in the country.
Since childhood,
she's enjoyed working the land.
Cucumbers,
tomatoes...
And a spirits production plant?
Because mom likes to...
No, don't say that.
My brother is the owner.
-Brother?
-Yes.
So besides owning
a Russian-made Lada car,
production year: 1994,
you have no other possessions?
I lead an ascetic life.
I give everything away to charity.
In other words,
Omega Bank also doesn't belong to you?
It doesn't.
It's my wife's bank.
Out of pure curiosity,
how does a 20-year-old woman
without higher education
manage an entire bank?
She's a prodigy.
A financial genius.
How did she get the start-up capital?
Why are you asking me?
You don't know?
You know, we have this family rule.
I stay out of her affairs.
Let's just suppose...
The dairy plant, isn't that yours?
Certainly not.
Just think,
if I owned a business,
how could I work in the civil service?
Now excuse me,
but the speaker awaits me.
Thanks for reminding me.
We also have questions for the speaker.
Is it about the yacht?
Forget about it. It's not mine.
It's my brother's.
Actually, I'm prone to sea sickness.
That's why you bought a private plane.
Good morning.
Morning, Vasyl Petrovych. Coffee?
No, thanks.
-Then here's your schedule.
-Okay.
At noon, you're unveiling a monument
in Shevchenko Park.
At 1:00 p.m.,
you're speaking at the Mohyla Academy.
At 2:00 p.m., you're presenting awards
to young bandura players.
From 3:00 p.m.,
until the end of the working day,
you'll meet with small-
and medium-sized businesses.
Vasya, are you busy?
Hi. That's a rhetorical question.
I see.
-I'll be quick.
-Okay.
I questioned
our high society of politicians.
And what happened?
Everyone is as poor as church mice.
-They've got nothing at all.
-Right.
-What do you suggest?
-I don't know.
I could go after
the end-owners of their assets.
Mothers, grandmas, wives, brothers,
dogs and hamsters.
However?
It's risky, Vasya.
I can't make such decisions on my own.
-Yes.
-You know what will happen if I do.
What?
There will be a vendetta.
In my time,
there were vendettas.
We broke jaws and sprayed machine guns.
We buried enemies in cement
and fed them to piranhas.
Mr Al Capone, I know who you are.
I'm a historian.
I know about your feats.
That's the whole point.
Do you know how humiliated I was?
I'm the king of the underworld...
a bootlegger!
I killed,
ran bordellos, casinos and drug dens.
But the U.S. government
couldn't forgive me
for my tax evasion schemes.
Just think about it.
On my rap sheet, it says I got caught...
for hiding a few cents!
I offered to pay a fine.
I could have paid a million such fines!
What did they do?
They put me inside...
for 22 years.
I think it was 11.
Dude, were you in Alcatraz?
No.
There, one year feels like two.
Possibly...
Not possibly, but exactly.
No need for a soothsayer.
There will be carnage.
What's your call?
What of it, Misha?
The Americans weren't afraid of Al Capone.
They incarcerated him for tax evasion.
Do we really have to fear people
like the Yuriy Ivanovichs out there?
With their moms, wives and hamsters.
If we were afraid,
we shouldn't have started this.
Squeeze and squeeze more?
Very well!
You call this a law?
On five pages! This is a law?
-Did you see it?
-What's he doing?
What do you want?
I have the right to vote how I see fit!
There are no TV cameras here.
Stop with the oratory!
Look at yourself.
You drove yourself to inebriety.
-Calm him down.
-And her, too!
All this instead of voting!
-To vote for the people normally...
-Quiet!
Vitaliy...
explain, why the hell
you didn't vote today.
Yuriy Ivanovich, my faction and I
won't vote for an unpopular law.
-Just say you--
-Quiet. Break time.
Who is asking you
and, moreover, your faction?
Your job is to raise a hand.
A tax campaign is underway and you...
You're proposing tax breaks
for a whole series of companies.
That's lobbyism!
-Hogwash.
-It won't fly!
-Just say what it is you want.
-Shut your trap.
Yuriy Ivanovich, did you read this law?
Why should I? It's a great law.
I don't like it.
I took the oath of a lawmaker
four years ago.
I vowed to act in the interests
of my fellow countrymen!
Are we not countrymen?
Quiet, Sergei.
If this continues,
we shall leave the coalition.
-We're shaking in our pants.
-Screw you.
-Taras!
-I'm so scared. Go!
What's up his ass?
Who can explain it to me?
It's clearly written here.
Did you see the list of companies
that get a tax break?
I saw the list. I know it by heart.
Don't pussyfoot around, just say it.
There are no meat-packing plants!
That's why our sausage king
got pissed off.
-That's why he has the hump.
-Got it?
Shit.
He could have said something
instead of giving that performance.
A clown is a clown.
Vitaliy, my good man, where did you go?
It's a misunderstanding.
That's an older version.
The new version of the law...
has meat-packing plants
as part of the list.
Don't be greedy.
No gas stations.
Only meat-packing plants.
It's a crucial and proper law.
My faction and I
have always spoken about this.
Why didn't you initially vote for it?
Because initially
the law was a little bit raw.
We polished some of the rough edges,
and then, with open arms,
we eagerly voted for the bill.
Sorry. Goodbye.
I've one more question!
Rain at seven, fine at 11.
The Homeland faction head has just said
that the grouping
will vote for the tax break bill.
What will tomorrow bring?
You're standing, Pasha?
Use the brush to clean the clothes.
-You're still there?
-Lera, clean the filth yourself!
Then you'll make food yourself?
No, we're going to clean this junk!
It belongs in the trash.
Throw this out? Up your ass!
Pavel Semenovich.
I married a moron! You have no brains!
-That's me.
-Hi.
Roman Golubev, journalist.
I'm writing a book about our president.
One chapter is about the memories
of Petrovych's best friends.
He said that you're one of them.
Well...
Why one of them?
I'm the only one!
I see.
You won't mind
if I record our conversation, then?
Right here?
Either here...
or in the garage.
We could go inside.
Any other options?
Affirmative.
Skorik, you two argue three times a day.
-Why must I be peacemaker?
-Vasya, please.
Before I shoot myself!
Vanya, you're strange.
I'm serious...
How can I influence your wife?
Please take care
of your own personal problems.
-Personal?
-Enough. Please. Bye.
-Yes?
-I'll shoot myself!
Skorik!
-Don't call me. Later. Bye.
-Vasya!
Vasya, I'll--
Listen! This is a government line!
If you call this line again,
I'll kill, burn and eat you and your wife!
Vasyl Petrovych, are you alright?
Sorry, Bella Rudolfovna.
It happens.
Sorry.
-No problem.
-Right.
What do you want?
Nothing.
Can I sit here for a while?
What do you mean?
Do you see this?
Cut down on the booze.
It's not due to booze.
What happened?
Oksana is what happened.
She's exhausted my brain.
Do you all have woman problems today?
If only it were a woman!
It's...
-Oksana.
-Sergei, listen.
Vasyl Petrovych, it's 11:30 a.m.
There's traffic.
You might not reach
Shevchenko Park in 30 minutes.
Bella Rudolfovna, thanks.
Saddle up and go. Right...
Sorry, Sergei.
This is a nuthouse.
Run, run, Vasya.
I'll sit here for another 30 minutes.
I'll have some tea and watch television.
Right.
-Get up.
-What?
-It's time to work.
-I'll work here.
-Up.
-Please, Vasya.
-Time--
-I'll kill her.
Walk, and no talking.
-Vasya, I'll kill her.
-Sergei...
I'll burn her. She's like a witch.
Serge, relax.
It's better to choke her.
She's making a diplomat out of you.
-A diplomat?
-A professional one.
-She always shadows me.
-Just smile.
-Not all the time. Where is she?
-Sergei Viktorovich.
Here.
Hello. Sorry for interrupting.
No worries. It's fine. Get to work.
-Goodbye.
-Right...
So...
At 3:00 p.m., we have a cocktail party
with a Portuguese delegation.
It's about the immigration
of Ukrainian citizens.
Let's review the rules of etiquette.
Why not?
Yes, Bella Rudolfovna?
Of course he can. What time?
In the evening?
Sure, no problem.
Thanks.
Okay, Tolya.
Tolya, be quick.
Why are you looking at me? He'll come.
To see you. The president.
Come on. Get up!
We'll get ready.
Go! Take a shower and shave.
Go on. What is wrong with you?
Go!
Why aren't you moving?
Hurry up. Please!
I said, "Vasya!
Look how the geography teacher
is scoping you.
Do something. Take her to the gym
and have a quick go on the floor mat.
Let her show you the western
and eastern hemispheres."
Did she show him?
No.
The principal called a faculty meeting.
Married?
The principal? Sure!
The geography teacher.
No.
Cheers.
Any more stories?
Plenty!
-Are you recording?
-It's recording.
I'm remembering.
I'll replenish.
Commercial break.
Tolya,
I have nothing against you, personally.
I don't need guards.
I know what you'll say.
That it's wrong, and dangerous.
You know, Mahatma Gandhi once said,
"If I am to die by the bullet...
of a madman,
I must do so smiling."
That's not debatable.
Tolya, I say one word
and you give me ten.
It's decided. That's my stance.
No "buts"!
No "buts".
Whom should I fear?
It's my nation.
I love it.
We have people as pure as gold.
We're innovating the tax system.
Many have suffered, but nothing...
They accept it with understanding.
They know it's temporary.
Who should I fear? Just look...
I'm undisturbed!
Look, I can walk around!
Nobody bothers me. I'm not wanted.
So I don't need guards, Tolya.
You're a professional.
You'll easily find a good job.
Do you need a lift?
No, thanks.
See, those guys
will get me home in no time.
Good luck, Tolya.
They lost their minds!
They made 10 stops
between Troeschina and the train station!
Fellas! Good evening!
How much for a ride to Darnytsia?
No way...
It's free for you, Mr President.
It can't be.
I don't need to ride for free. Come on.
Guys...
What's that?
-Tolya, wait!
-Stop!
Stop!
Tolya, gun it!
Catch him!
Look, if you insist,
then fine, you're hired.
And as a part-time driver.
May I put on some music?
Declare the property
Yachts, gold and crystals
People have long known
Whoever doesn't pay is a jingoist Russian!
What's with our people?
I told them, anything but this idea.
They chose this one.
They just do it out of spite.
Or do you like it?
Better stay quiet!
Translated by Mark P. Raczkiewycz
Yana Klymenko is reporting on the details.
The president is calling on everyone
to work legally and pay taxes.
But not everyone shares
Vasyl Petrovych's opinion.
We're here!
How much?
Ninety hryvnias.
Look, I don't have change.
Keep the change.
May I have a receipt?
Honey, dear, what receipt?
Receipts are for licensed cabs.
You're an illegal taxi driver?
Dad!
-Dad!
-Not so loud.
Why are you yelling?
Do you think it's okay
to be an unlicensed taxi driver?
Am I stupid? A license costs money.
Plus, if I work legally,
they will cut my pension, fershtein?
I fershtein.
Do you fershtein
that it's illegal to evade taxes?
I don't pay taxes.
All they do is steal your money.
Who? You think I steal?
No! But others do.
Why the hassle?
-Don't you have work to do?
-I don't.
Thanks to you and others like you.
You don't pay taxes, so the vault is dry.
How am I special?
Why not say something to Sveta?
If I have to, I will.
What's there to say?
The railway company pays the taxes for me.
It's not about that.
As if nobody knows that you and your lover
run an illicit diner car.
-Dad!
-Am I public enemy number one?
Imagine how much she makes
and doesn't pay in excess.
The cognac Mom gets
brings in 100,000 alone.
Petya!
She receives
10 bottles a day at the clinic.
-Do the math yourself.
-Petya!
What "Petya"?
As if you didn't know.
Or didn't you?
PRESIDENTIAL ADMINISTRATION OF UKRAINE
-Lieutenant Landyk. Your documents?
-Is everything okay?
Show us your documents
and then we'll see.
And your taxi license.
License?
Why do you need that?
As part of a city-wide dragnet operation,
all cabs are being checked.
Officer, maybe you don't recognize me?
That's why I stopped you,
Petro Vasylyovych.
To make an exception?
-An exception?
-Yes.
It was actually you
that the president ordered us
to inspect stringently.
Again, your license, please.
Vasya...
Excuse me.
Vasyl Petrovych!
For crying out loud, what is it?
-I--
-Do you have a life?
Me-me-me!
Why are you following me around?
What a joke!
If I need protection, it's from you.
-Stop following me. Got it?
-Got it.
Crystal clear?
-Yes.
-Wonderful.
All the best.
Stop crying.
Take my handkerchief. Wipe your face.
Consider that a presidential order.
That's enough crying.
Okay, what can I do for you?
Talk to him, please.
Just talk to him.
Okay, I'll talk to him.
Thank you.
Girls, please don't take any pictures.
-Thanks!
-We'll help you. Girls!
Would you stop taking pictures?
The president is speaking with the people.
-Thanks.
-I said, you're welcome, already.
This lady is nice.
She's not taking photos, but you...
I just praised you
and now you're taking photos?
Thank you, Vasyl Petrovych!
Olya Yurievna, did you call for me? Yes?
Have a seat.
At your service.
-Dmitriy Vasilievich.
-Yes?
We need to have a serious talk.
You're smiling,
but our conversation won't be pleasant.
Given the current situation at hand,
I don't have any choice.
-I have to--
-Olya Yurievna!
I deeply apologize.
One second, please! One.
I asked you to lower the volume
on your game.
Dad, come on!
Make it quieter or louder...
Make up your mind.
Don't chide me, child.
-Does your throat hurt?
-No.
That's good.
Dad will come back soon.
Excuse me.
She's sick and I have no sitter.
Maybe take her to the doctor
and we could talk later?
She's okay. We saw a doctor.
Anyway, I'm better than any doctor.
Sorry. I'm here...
I wanted to tell you,
Dmitriy Vasilievich, that...
Hello!
Hello.
Dad, how do I turn on the game?
Alisa, you should be ashamed!
Olya Yurievna, sorry.
No problem.
Like this. Lord...
She's so grown-up, yet not independent.
No worries.
Sorry.
How old is your Dima?
Dima is ten.
Ten?
She's also ten!
-Really? Same age.
-Yes!
You mentioned
that Dima takes drama classes?
I was thinking of signing Alisa up.
Sure, acting is a good thing.
We had a problematic "r".
Now we're correcting it.
I see. You have a problematic "r".
We have a whistling "sh".
Who does?
Never mind. I'll tell you later. Go now.
Sorry.
You see...
she's cooped up.
I don't know what to do.
I'm raising her by myself.
Where is her mom?
She has no mom.
Pardon me, please. I wasn't aware.
No, her mother is alive.
By "no", I meant figuratively.
She's alive, thank God.
She has a drinking issue.
Overall, it's a long story. Okay...
What were you saying?
I...
In fact...
How's the currency market?
It's stabilized.
Really?
Great.
Okay, then. You can go.
-That's all I wanted to know.
-Really?
Have a nice day.
Thank you.
Say hi to Alisa.
Thank you.
-Dad!
-Yes?
Why did you say I was sick?
Are you healthy?
Yes!
That's great.
Hello.
Why did I take her? I missed her.
I can't see her every six months?
What dolphinarium?
I have a meeting in two hours. Later, bye.
What did you say about drama classes?
Don't worry. You won't be taking
drama classes. Everything's okay.
But I want to.
-You want to?
-Yes.
Then mom will enroll you somehow.
-Bye.
-Okay, bye.
What do you mean, they won't come?
They refused. They said they were busy.
Everyone?
Everyone.
Mikhail Ivanovich,
historically, not one lawmaker ever came.
Immunity from prosecution,
government business...
Fine.
If the mountain
won't come to Muhammad, then I will.
I'll pay a visit to the public servants.
Sergei Leonidovich,
I combed over
your declaration for last year.
Under "real estate", you listed a flat
on the outskirts of town,
42 square meters in area.
That's correct.
You live in a flat
with your wife and two children.
We nestle,
in so-called Spartan conditions.
It's a squeeze but we're happy.
Then why don't you live
in a three-story home
in a posh suburb of Kiev?
Because it's improper for a person my age
to live with their parents.
The house belongs to my mother.
Your mother.
My mother.
Interesting. Why does your mother
own a farming business?
My mom grew up in the country.
Since childhood,
she's enjoyed working the land.
Cucumbers,
tomatoes...
And a spirits production plant?
Because mom likes to...
No, don't say that.
My brother is the owner.
-Brother?
-Yes.
So besides owning
a Russian-made Lada car,
production year: 1994,
you have no other possessions?
I lead an ascetic life.
I give everything away to charity.
In other words,
Omega Bank also doesn't belong to you?
It doesn't.
It's my wife's bank.
Out of pure curiosity,
how does a 20-year-old woman
without higher education
manage an entire bank?
She's a prodigy.
A financial genius.
How did she get the start-up capital?
Why are you asking me?
You don't know?
You know, we have this family rule.
I stay out of her affairs.
Let's just suppose...
The dairy plant, isn't that yours?
Certainly not.
Just think,
if I owned a business,
how could I work in the civil service?
Now excuse me,
but the speaker awaits me.
Thanks for reminding me.
We also have questions for the speaker.
Is it about the yacht?
Forget about it. It's not mine.
It's my brother's.
Actually, I'm prone to sea sickness.
That's why you bought a private plane.
Good morning.
Morning, Vasyl Petrovych. Coffee?
No, thanks.
-Then here's your schedule.
-Okay.
At noon, you're unveiling a monument
in Shevchenko Park.
At 1:00 p.m.,
you're speaking at the Mohyla Academy.
At 2:00 p.m., you're presenting awards
to young bandura players.
From 3:00 p.m.,
until the end of the working day,
you'll meet with small-
and medium-sized businesses.
Vasya, are you busy?
Hi. That's a rhetorical question.
I see.
-I'll be quick.
-Okay.
I questioned
our high society of politicians.
And what happened?
Everyone is as poor as church mice.
-They've got nothing at all.
-Right.
-What do you suggest?
-I don't know.
I could go after
the end-owners of their assets.
Mothers, grandmas, wives, brothers,
dogs and hamsters.
However?
It's risky, Vasya.
I can't make such decisions on my own.
-Yes.
-You know what will happen if I do.
What?
There will be a vendetta.
In my time,
there were vendettas.
We broke jaws and sprayed machine guns.
We buried enemies in cement
and fed them to piranhas.
Mr Al Capone, I know who you are.
I'm a historian.
I know about your feats.
That's the whole point.
Do you know how humiliated I was?
I'm the king of the underworld...
a bootlegger!
I killed,
ran bordellos, casinos and drug dens.
But the U.S. government
couldn't forgive me
for my tax evasion schemes.
Just think about it.
On my rap sheet, it says I got caught...
for hiding a few cents!
I offered to pay a fine.
I could have paid a million such fines!
What did they do?
They put me inside...
for 22 years.
I think it was 11.
Dude, were you in Alcatraz?
No.
There, one year feels like two.
Possibly...
Not possibly, but exactly.
No need for a soothsayer.
There will be carnage.
What's your call?
What of it, Misha?
The Americans weren't afraid of Al Capone.
They incarcerated him for tax evasion.
Do we really have to fear people
like the Yuriy Ivanovichs out there?
With their moms, wives and hamsters.
If we were afraid,
we shouldn't have started this.
Squeeze and squeeze more?
Very well!
You call this a law?
On five pages! This is a law?
-Did you see it?
-What's he doing?
What do you want?
I have the right to vote how I see fit!
There are no TV cameras here.
Stop with the oratory!
Look at yourself.
You drove yourself to inebriety.
-Calm him down.
-And her, too!
All this instead of voting!
-To vote for the people normally...
-Quiet!
Vitaliy...
explain, why the hell
you didn't vote today.
Yuriy Ivanovich, my faction and I
won't vote for an unpopular law.
-Just say you--
-Quiet. Break time.
Who is asking you
and, moreover, your faction?
Your job is to raise a hand.
A tax campaign is underway and you...
You're proposing tax breaks
for a whole series of companies.
That's lobbyism!
-Hogwash.
-It won't fly!
-Just say what it is you want.
-Shut your trap.
Yuriy Ivanovich, did you read this law?
Why should I? It's a great law.
I don't like it.
I took the oath of a lawmaker
four years ago.
I vowed to act in the interests
of my fellow countrymen!
Are we not countrymen?
Quiet, Sergei.
If this continues,
we shall leave the coalition.
-We're shaking in our pants.
-Screw you.
-Taras!
-I'm so scared. Go!
What's up his ass?
Who can explain it to me?
It's clearly written here.
Did you see the list of companies
that get a tax break?
I saw the list. I know it by heart.
Don't pussyfoot around, just say it.
There are no meat-packing plants!
That's why our sausage king
got pissed off.
-That's why he has the hump.
-Got it?
Shit.
He could have said something
instead of giving that performance.
A clown is a clown.
Vitaliy, my good man, where did you go?
It's a misunderstanding.
That's an older version.
The new version of the law...
has meat-packing plants
as part of the list.
Don't be greedy.
No gas stations.
Only meat-packing plants.
It's a crucial and proper law.
My faction and I
have always spoken about this.
Why didn't you initially vote for it?
Because initially
the law was a little bit raw.
We polished some of the rough edges,
and then, with open arms,
we eagerly voted for the bill.
Sorry. Goodbye.
I've one more question!
Rain at seven, fine at 11.
The Homeland faction head has just said
that the grouping
will vote for the tax break bill.
What will tomorrow bring?
You're standing, Pasha?
Use the brush to clean the clothes.
-You're still there?
-Lera, clean the filth yourself!
Then you'll make food yourself?
No, we're going to clean this junk!
It belongs in the trash.
Throw this out? Up your ass!
Pavel Semenovich.
I married a moron! You have no brains!
-That's me.
-Hi.
Roman Golubev, journalist.
I'm writing a book about our president.
One chapter is about the memories
of Petrovych's best friends.
He said that you're one of them.
Well...
Why one of them?
I'm the only one!
I see.
You won't mind
if I record our conversation, then?
Right here?
Either here...
or in the garage.
We could go inside.
Any other options?
Affirmative.
Skorik, you two argue three times a day.
-Why must I be peacemaker?
-Vasya, please.
Before I shoot myself!
Vanya, you're strange.
I'm serious...
How can I influence your wife?
Please take care
of your own personal problems.
-Personal?
-Enough. Please. Bye.
-Yes?
-I'll shoot myself!
Skorik!
-Don't call me. Later. Bye.
-Vasya!
Vasya, I'll--
Listen! This is a government line!
If you call this line again,
I'll kill, burn and eat you and your wife!
Vasyl Petrovych, are you alright?
Sorry, Bella Rudolfovna.
It happens.
Sorry.
-No problem.
-Right.
What do you want?
Nothing.
Can I sit here for a while?
What do you mean?
Do you see this?
Cut down on the booze.
It's not due to booze.
What happened?
Oksana is what happened.
She's exhausted my brain.
Do you all have woman problems today?
If only it were a woman!
It's...
-Oksana.
-Sergei, listen.
Vasyl Petrovych, it's 11:30 a.m.
There's traffic.
You might not reach
Shevchenko Park in 30 minutes.
Bella Rudolfovna, thanks.
Saddle up and go. Right...
Sorry, Sergei.
This is a nuthouse.
Run, run, Vasya.
I'll sit here for another 30 minutes.
I'll have some tea and watch television.
Right.
-Get up.
-What?
-It's time to work.
-I'll work here.
-Up.
-Please, Vasya.
-Time--
-I'll kill her.
Walk, and no talking.
-Vasya, I'll kill her.
-Sergei...
I'll burn her. She's like a witch.
Serge, relax.
It's better to choke her.
She's making a diplomat out of you.
-A diplomat?
-A professional one.
-She always shadows me.
-Just smile.
-Not all the time. Where is she?
-Sergei Viktorovich.
Here.
Hello. Sorry for interrupting.
No worries. It's fine. Get to work.
-Goodbye.
-Right...
So...
At 3:00 p.m., we have a cocktail party
with a Portuguese delegation.
It's about the immigration
of Ukrainian citizens.
Let's review the rules of etiquette.
Why not?
Yes, Bella Rudolfovna?
Of course he can. What time?
In the evening?
Sure, no problem.
Thanks.
Okay, Tolya.
Tolya, be quick.
Why are you looking at me? He'll come.
To see you. The president.
Come on. Get up!
We'll get ready.
Go! Take a shower and shave.
Go on. What is wrong with you?
Go!
Why aren't you moving?
Hurry up. Please!
I said, "Vasya!
Look how the geography teacher
is scoping you.
Do something. Take her to the gym
and have a quick go on the floor mat.
Let her show you the western
and eastern hemispheres."
Did she show him?
No.
The principal called a faculty meeting.
Married?
The principal? Sure!
The geography teacher.
No.
Cheers.
Any more stories?
Plenty!
-Are you recording?
-It's recording.
I'm remembering.
I'll replenish.
Commercial break.
Tolya,
I have nothing against you, personally.
I don't need guards.
I know what you'll say.
That it's wrong, and dangerous.
You know, Mahatma Gandhi once said,
"If I am to die by the bullet...
of a madman,
I must do so smiling."
That's not debatable.
Tolya, I say one word
and you give me ten.
It's decided. That's my stance.
No "buts"!
No "buts".
Whom should I fear?
It's my nation.
I love it.
We have people as pure as gold.
We're innovating the tax system.
Many have suffered, but nothing...
They accept it with understanding.
They know it's temporary.
Who should I fear? Just look...
I'm undisturbed!
Look, I can walk around!
Nobody bothers me. I'm not wanted.
So I don't need guards, Tolya.
You're a professional.
You'll easily find a good job.
Do you need a lift?
No, thanks.
See, those guys
will get me home in no time.
Good luck, Tolya.
They lost their minds!
They made 10 stops
between Troeschina and the train station!
Fellas! Good evening!
How much for a ride to Darnytsia?
No way...
It's free for you, Mr President.
It can't be.
I don't need to ride for free. Come on.
Guys...
What's that?
-Tolya, wait!
-Stop!
Stop!
Tolya, gun it!
Catch him!
Look, if you insist,
then fine, you're hired.
And as a part-time driver.
May I put on some music?
Declare the property
Yachts, gold and crystals
People have long known
Whoever doesn't pay is a jingoist Russian!
What's with our people?
I told them, anything but this idea.
They chose this one.
They just do it out of spite.
Or do you like it?
Better stay quiet!
Translated by Mark P. Raczkiewycz