Secret Agent (1964–1967): Season 2, Episode 21 - The Man with the Foot - full transcript

After his cover is blown in an operation, Drake heads for "sunny Spain" to hide out for a while. With an apparent enemy arriving and Drake's friend telling the hotelier he intends to shoot Drake, it becomes a puzzle as to who can be trusted and who is really up to what. One of the lighter-hearted episodes yet still intriguing.

He's coming to, Solby.

Yeah, I know.

You're letting him have wine?

It's a property of the chemical

that it deranges the taste buds,

wine that tastes like castor oil.

I rather thought ours did in any case.

I hear an auto commin'.

What's that?

He said he heard a car, I did, too.

How 'bout you, old cock?



Solby.

An expected pleasure.

Open

Mr. Drake's

jacket.

That car's 20 years old.

Solby'd be at the frontier
before it'd even started.

Thanks.

I say, I'm terribly
uncomfortable, could you help?

They knew my name!

And the recognition signal.

They also knew that the microdot was

in the lining of your jacket.

These days, secrecy's almost



a chemical impossibility, isn't it?

You've better get down to the village,

deliver the dot, send it on its way,

then you can start your holidays.

Until Solby's tidied up,
you can't be used, can you?

You're as much blown as I am, Derringham.

Yes, but I'm not normally a field man.

I have the entire waste
of the Civil Service

to submerge myself within.

Imperceptible, as one
rabbit among thousands.

Where will you go, somewhere sunny?

What?

Where will you go, on full salary?

Then half, then none, until I beckon.

Somewhere sunny.

Spain.

Entre.

Buenos Dias, Senor.

Buenos Dias.

If you are English, I speak it.

I spent four years in London, Au Pair.

You were saying?

Why didn't the porter
bring up the luggage?

Oh, he's my brother.

Does he always send you?

If it is raining.

Do you think you could
possibly make it rain up here?

They do not function?
-No.

You turned them inwards, not outwards?

I turned them bothwards.

Gracias.
-De nada.

You wish something else?
-Soap.

I shall see, it is possible there is some.

Thank you.

Ah, what's time's lunch?

When you wish.

This is not an English hotel, Senor.

De nada.

Muy Buenos Dias, Senor.

Buenos Dias!

With fluency.

You wish habitation?

Oh, no, no, not a room.

A fire, I have a wet foot.

I thought I might dry
my shoe during lunch.

You see, I have slipper in
here, two slippers, a pair.

I thought I could wear them while I eat.

Oh, lo siento, Senor,

there is customarily
a fire in the dining room,

but today the dining room
is under transplantation.

So, to now, my brother, Aberlardo,

has not attended the facility.

Transplantation, eh?

From there to?
-There.

An Englishman wishes
a dining room for these.

Then, you will not be serving lunch?

Oh, si, we have a guest, so we must.

It will occur in there.

Would you like trout,
paella or roast sucking pig?

Trout, please, gracias.

De nada.

You wish nothing else immediately?

Ah, no, thank you.

Uh, yes.

The road to Barcelona?

I wonder if you would find out

from the police in Gerona if it is clear?

You see, the last time I came through here

there was a landslide
and well, with this rain,

I think perhaps it would be wiser

for me to stay the night here.

The road is in excellent condition, Senor.

These arrived 10 minutes
ago in a heavy truck.

And if they could climb it,
you will with ease descend it.

I should not say this, verdad,

if I wish to fill my rooms out of season.

That's why we give the dining
room to the Englishman,

he is the only guest we have.

In January, any guest is a rarity.

The Englishman has
a fire, come, he lit it.

Oh, no, no, no, I will, I mean--

Senor.

Come, I will ask for you,
as a favor for the soap.

Soap?

Senor, the soap.
-Ah, thank you.

And a compatriot, he has a wet foot

and would appreciate the
kindness of your fire.

Oh, I, yes, I think I saw
you wet it as a matter of fact.

Won't you come in?

That's very nice of you, gracias.

I, I mean, thank you.
-Thank you very much.

Ah, trombone?
-No, no, no.

Oh, I'm Mr. Monckton, you're Mr. Gomez?

No.

Oh, but I saw your name

on the crates down below, I'm so sorry.

No, no, no, actually, my name's Drake.

Would you care to sit here?

I hope I'm not keeping you, Mr. Drake,

but I thought I would just
dry my shoe during lunch.

What's the food like here?

I don't know, I've only just arrived.

Staying long?

Well, as long as a holiday.

Snap!

Coincidence, I, too, like
tourist hotels out of season.

The, uh, price is much less

and you get very much better attention.

You staying here, too?

Oh, for a while if I like it.

So far I do, my room is very good.

But they didn't, uh, lay the fire.

Abelardo, the girl's brother
was busy transplanting

the dining room,
but I didn't like to ask the girl.

Well, you should have, he would have.

I think he gets her to chop
the wood when it rains.

Oh, well, that's Spanish for you.

I say, don't let me keep you,

but I would just like
to put my slippers on,

they're dry, you see.

Have you got a towel?

I'll have one sent up, are you cold enough

to appreciate a cognac?

I'll keep one downstairs for you.

Oh, that is good of you.

Oh, but I say, I think it
should be my treat, hmm?

Well, you can stand treat tomorrow,

a bit more expensive when
my friend Mr. Gomez arrives.

Come in!

Entre!

Gracias!
-De nada.

I have, uh, changed my mind.

I would like a room.

Senor?
-You don't understand?

Habitacion?
-Si, Senor.

I, I know this is the
habitation of Senor Drake,

but I want one, too!

Your sister, su hermanal!

Maruja?

Sister name of Maruja?

Si!

Her to me, uh.

She speaks English!

Ah!

Si, I

send

her

up.

Thank you!

Senor!

For what will you fish?

Ah, trout.
-Where?

In the lake here, my friend,

Mr. Gomez says it's full of them.

Well, si, in summer, but this is winter.

Snow is possible and
ice all over your lake.

Will you and the other Englishman,

the man with the foot,
wish to eat together?

You need not worry that it
will create a precedent,

he's only here for lunch and
then he goes to Barcelona.

Before the landslide.

Si, Abelardo?

El Senor, Englese.

Bien.

I am wanted by the man with the foot,

you wish nothing more?

Ah, yes, I'd like to make
a telephone call to London.

What's the delay in winter?

There is little traffic,
Abelardo will book it for you.

Yes, I'll take it in my room

when the man with the foot has come down.

Entre!

Yes, my, uh, my roomI!

Is it ready all ready?

There is only this room occupied, Senor,

you may have your choice.

Pot luck!

I'll take the one next door, then.

Next door, Senor, is for Senor
Gomez who arrives tomorrow.

Would you wish to stay only tonight?

Oh, no, good gracious me!

Perhaps another week!

I'll have the one next door
the other side, then.

As you wish, Senor.

Thank you, my car keys.

For the luggage.

Oh, it's uh, in the boot,
there isn't very much.

There is nothing else, Senor?

No, gracias.

Oh, yes!

I would like to make
a telephone call to Biarritz.

Telephone, Monsieur Solby.

Yes?

I think I've run into a competitor!

What nationality?

British, possibly working

in conjunction with the Spaniard.

Uh, well, someone going
under a Spanish name.

One's here and the other one's coming.

Where's here?

Banolas.

They're moving in crates, packing cases.

Have you been at it again, Monckton?

Uh, no, no, no, no.

Look, the crates were here,
waiting from Barcelona

when the Englishman arrived,
addressed to the Spaniard.

He's not here yet!

What's in the crates?

Well, I don't know?

But, the Englishman's
suitcase contains nothing

except personal effects.

What did you expect it to contain,

a filing cabinet labeled Top Secret?

He says he's here on holiday!

It's winter, no one comes here in winter,

sometimes it snows!

Perhaps he likes snow, perhaps he skis?

Perhaps you're having
another rush of nerves?

Name names.

Well, the Spaniard

calls himself Gomez.

Now, you know as well as I do,

that that's rather like
calling yourself Smith at home!

And the Englishman?

I spotted him in Rome once,
when we failed to deliver

on a due date, mainly
because of his obstruction.

What's his name?

Drake!

What's the nearest town to Banolas?

Gerona.

Meet me there tomorrow,
post office, four o'clock!

Yes?

Am I working blind or
are you having me screened?

My dear fellow, you're not
-supposed to be working at all?

How is the holiday?

Attracting attention.

Anyone we know?

No one that I know.

My dear fellow, your
tone implies that I might.

Where are you?
-Banolas.

Well, then, if I had to ask,

how could I have sent
someone to screen you?

If you ask me, you're suffering
from occupational suspicion.

Who are you talking about anyway?

A gentleman who came to lunch

and then booked a room after he'd seen me.

Someone must like your company?

Has he got a name?

Monckton.

What's the nearest town to Banolas?

I don't know, Gerona, Olot?

Olot sounded nice,

meet you there tomorrow
outside the post office.

Tomorrow afternoon, three o'clock, adios.

Buenos Dias, Senor!

Breakfast?

Thank you.

Senor!

Muy, Buenos Dias!

Ah, tweed!

English!

Scots, actually,

I know it but I bought it in Manchester.

No, you!

Senor Gomez!

Maruyja!

Senor!

Amigo!

Mr. Monckton, Senor Gomez!

Ah!
-Oh, how do you do?

Where is my friend?

In the dining room

Bien, bien, bien, bien!

Who gets my luggage?

I do.

Hola, I am here!

So I have heard.

Ah, Miguel, my friend, how are you?

Nice to see you.

Ah, you commence the labor?
-Yep.

Okay, I will help.

Our weather!

How is our weather in the Pyrenees?

Miserable.

Ah, good!

It's what we need, a weather of severity!

Mere details, trays and such.

What have you got?

There we are.

Beautiful!

I envy you the knowledge to operate it!

My friend, with this we
will get much information.

Nothing will escape us
that we need to know!

Every secret will fall
open before our eyes!

With this, the operating
table and the rifle.

We start this afternoon, with the rifle.

This afternoon, we shoot
our first victims, no?

Oh, this afternoon I have
to go somewhere, alone.

Twice, we go out this morning.

When we are prepared.

Ah, the electrical marvel, eh?

Here

- No, no, it doesn't
matter where.

No, no, but for the operating table.

For that we must have good light.

Ah, the chandelier!

We will operate by the
light of the chandelier.

It is stylish, no?

Our patients will be impressed.

Surprised will be a better word,

if we're lucky enough to catch any.

You are an impostor, no?
-Hmm?

You enjoy desaynno?

Yes.

Yes, I had quite a good
breakfast, actually.

You are not here on
holiday, you are at your work.

For an English agency.

Yes, the Madrid office, actually.

That, too, I have seen
from your letterhead.

But you should learn to
spell Spanish names better.

Vallodolid with one "l".

This way, you will get yourself the sack

to put your foot in.

But I will correct!

Then you will recommend
this hotel for tourists, no?

For that is what your are

and maker of reports on
hotels for foreigners.

A sort of spy.

I have said something?

No, no, no, you have said nothing.

That's exactly what I am.

A sort of spy.

Well, Senor Spy, report well on Banolas.

Oh, look at the lake!

Full of fish for those who fish

and water for those who swim.

And next year there will be water skiing.

Go for a walk, look at it, this morning?

Oh, no, good gracious, not this morning.

No, no, it's rather cold.

No, perhaps I'll go for
a drive this afternoon

if the rain stops.

Senor, it stopped last night.

Oh? -Mire. -Really?

Oh, I hadn't noticed.

But it is still wet on the ground.

But, it has stopped.

Oh, you are going out?

Oh, rather! Well, if the
rain has stopped, why not?

Well, no reason why not,
Senor, why ask why not?

You are a guest and
guests do as they wish.

I think these are dry by now.

Well, I'm ready, Senor Gomez is ready,

who's taking us, you or your brother?

Where?

Well, if I knew where we were going

we wouldn't need a guide, would we?

Ah, there, poor Abelardo,
if it is not sunny

and it is not snowing
it would be too muddy,

or too dark or too far.

I shall come.
-Thank you.

Well, just as far as the post office.

To post these letters.

An opposite direction,
we do not go that way.

Um, where are you going?

The lake, fishing?

No fish this time of year.

First, across the bridge,
then up the woodcutter's track,

as far as the snowline.
-Ah, bien.

Ay, the guns, where are the guns?

I do not do this without them.

Be tranquil, they are in the back.

That is the habitation of the wolves.

The lair?
-Close.

Bien!

The female.

Bien.

Your shot.

Bien, it marches, fast.

That was a blank.

Well, we're not here to kill them.

This I know, this you know,

but nobody has been in
a position to inform the wolves.

In case one asks, it is better
to have live ammunition.

Which way did it go, Maruja?

You saw as well as I did,

into the thickest part of
the wood it could locate.

Wouldn't you?

Towards the lair?

I cannot see through trees, Senor.

Please reload with live bullets.

I've only blanks, so, well, do I go in?

Aye, 'tis a question.

The female will do one of two things,

either it will go straight to the lair

or it will try to corner us

so that we will not know
where the lair was.

But we do know, Abelardo found it.

Oh, yes, but this the wolf does not know.

It will thus behave naturally.

it is not natural, Senor, for a female

to run away from her lair.

Not if she has cubs.
-Oh, si.

On occasion, in cunning,
I know, I am a naturalist.

You are man, Senor, who is a naturalist.

The wolf is a wolf, Senor,
who is not a naturalist.

You cannot expect this female

to behave as stupidly as you do.

Blanks?

How do I get to the lair?

Of a sureness, not with me, Senor.

Mire. I will direct you.

First, the dead tree.

And then, beneath the rocks to the left.

I have been clear?

It is what Abelardo told me.

Very clear, adios.

Adios and suerte.
-Suerte?

Luck.

You will need it if the wolf is waiting.

And remember this, if you
find yourself close to her,

do not fire, she will hurl herself at you.

Simply, stand quite still.

For how long?

Why didn't you go with him?

First, because the grown
wolf reduces my courage,

particularly the female.

Second, if my friend gets
what he has gone for,

as he returns,

I will have to shoot him.

Pues, I could have done that.

Can you see them?

No, but it would be
advisable for someone to shoot.

There we are.
-Ah!

Oh!

Senores, por favor!

Bien, tranquility returns!

And now?

And now, Senor Drake gets another two.

Oh, no thank you, I have an appointment

this afternoon, I want to keep it.

Buenos tardes.

Oh, yes, Buenos, Buenos.

Hello?

Anyone home?

I'm hungry, Senor Drake is hungry too, no?

No.

Oiga, Maruja, stay,

I need your help!

I have to cook, it is
the hour of the lunch.

You have to help, it is
the hour to see to the cubs.

Well, Senor Drake help with this?

It is no job for a man.

It is not a job for a woman!

Why, they are only cubs?

Cabs have teeth and sharp ones!

Hello, Monckton, been out?

Yes.

Yes, just a bit of breath
of air before lunch.

Have you been shooting?

No, there's no game this time of year.

No. Of course not.

Ooh!

You were wrong, Senor, they have
sharp teeth and they use them.

Oh, you wish a doctor?

I wish, amigo, that you will do it.

You have the talent for handling them!

No, I'm going out.
-Out, where?

Just out.

Where was Monckton going?

He took the road to Gerona.

You've not yet told me why
your Spanish friend wants

to put these on young wolves?

Well, he's a naturalist
with a lot of money

to throw around and that's
the way he likes to throw it.

He's not also possibly something

to do with Spanish Intelligence
employing you on the side?

If you think that about
my holiday activities,

you're as wrong as Monckton.

Then why the secrecy?

A certain breed of wolf found normally

only in the Guadarrama Mountains

near Madrid have suddenly turned up here

in the Pyrenees, only in winter.

Now, how did it get here and back?

My friend puts these
transistors on the cubs

and uses an electronic scanner
to log their movements.

You mean these are radio transmitters?

No, I don't know?

Could be, transistorized.

You think they could be for slipping

into pockets to trail people?

No idea?

Oh, but if they are, what about us now?

The circuit leads aren't joined up.

Where was Drake going?

He took the road to Olot.

I'd like to get the coating analyzed.

You know, these are small
enough for swallowing.

The coating must be non-irritant.

They've tried them on
penguins in the Antarctic.

Why the secrecy about Monckton?

Oh, he's in the private line.

Information from anywhere, sold anywhere,

under cover of a travel agency.

The only surviving member

of the Solby organization
we've got listed.

Except, of course, Solby himself.

Wonder what he makes of this?

Well, nothing yet.

Well, I can't in the fit wolf cubs

or the Spaniard trying
to shoot Drake, and then.

Go on.

Well, the fishing.
-Hmm?

Well, he's got fishing
gear up here in winter.

There's no fish to catch!

If no fish, a fisherman.

Depends what you fish
for, I'm fishing for Solby.

Until I hook him I'm
a blown man, aren't I?

Might I join you?

Yeah, not too close.

What are you gonna do?

Not me, us.

Get in!

I'm rather nervous of firearms, actually

Come on, you won't have to use it.

Hold it.

All right, you can use this.

Don't forget to slip the safety catch.

Come on.

Stop!

All right, Drake, drop that
fishing rod and come here!

Otherwise Monckton shoots
Derringham and I shoot you.

Monckton, you help us clean up Solby

then we don't throw the Official
Secrets Act at you.

We use you.

All right!
-Agreed?

Yes, yes, all right!

Come on!
-Where to?

After Drake!
-Where, which way did he go?

Where that car is!

Oh, no, no, no, that's Solby's car.

He was following Drake and
I was following your car!

Oh, come on!

He's all yours, I'm off to the movies.

Ah, lights, Maruja.

See, I shot it with this!

The reel of the film
fits in here, you see?

In the butt.

It doesn't shoot at all, then?

Oh, si, but it also shoots pictures.

To illustrate my findings.

Film, he loads the gun with film!

In wolf country!

What is in here, antiseptic?

A zoom lens, with this,
one can take pictures

from considerable distances
with remarkable accuracy.

And traverse a wolf
moving fast exactly!

Oh, yes, it shoots bullets,

but I much prefer to shoot pictures.

Wolves are too dangerous
for pretty pictures.

Depends on how you shoot them.

With wolves, Senor,

guns should only be loaded with bullets.

Oh, clearly!

John, I do not develop
these films as well as you do,

but I could not find you this afternoon!

Where were you?

Just fishing.