Secret Agent (1964–1967): Season 2, Episode 17 - I Can Only Offer You Sherry - full transcript

You're not frightening
me, sitting there.

You're wasting your time.

I'm not impressed.

I repeat I am not impressed.

Go away!

Please, go away!

Go away!

Your fortune, honorable gentleman.

Please.

Won't you sit yourself down?

For a fee, honorable gentleman.



Grace my palm with silver.

Give me your hand.

Your name is Drake, but
you will change it soon.

What's the job?

Come closer.

Security leak.

Bates first secretary at our
embassy here is our informant.

What sort of leak?

Statistics department.

The opposition have exact
data of our oil reserves

and potential in this area,

and this could prove
dangerous, for whoever

gives them the figures almost certainly

has access to other
classified information.



Any suspects?

Yes, a Miss Jean Smith.

Works in the department.

Apparently a dull girl, possibly not.

Why her?

Bates has information.

Says she's under constant surveillance.

What do I do?

Journalist.

Who am I?

John Brown.

Where am I?

This hotel.

Bates will arrange an interview.

When?

Tonight.

Who with?

Jean Smith.

Where?

Your hotel.

How is London?

Very wet.

Come in.

Oh, excuse me.

I'm from the embassy.

Jean Smith.

Ah.

I'm John Brown, Miss Smith.

Mr. Bates couldn't make it?

No, no, he'll be tied up for several days.

Yes, and you're his secretary?

No, I'm not his secretary,
she's very pretty.

But I think I'll be able to give you

the information you need.

I've helped visiting journalists before.

Yes.

Would you like to sit down?

Oh, thank you.

May I offer you a drink?

Oh, no thank you.

Cigarette?

No, I don't.

What exactly is your job, Miss Smith?

I'm the embassy's statistician.

Ah.

But I can probably tell you more about

the oil situation out here than
anyone else in the embassy.

I hope that doesn't sound conceited.

It's just that I have
a very efficient filing

system for a brain.

Yes, yes, I'm sure you have.

Where are we dining?

Oh, I'm afraid I'm not free this evening.

Oh, come now, Miss Smith.

I'm sure that Mr. Bates
would've joined me,

a stranger alone in a strange place.

Well, I'm afraid I've
had such short notice.

Oh, of course, if you have a date.

No.

To be honest, I'm not
much of a night bird.

Well, if you haven't
got a date, Miss Smith,

I absolutely insist.

I've no intention of going on the town,

but a couple of quiet
hours spent over dinner

with that filing system
of a brain of yours,

I think we could have quite
a background for my story, hmm?

In that case, I'm at
your disposal, Mr. Brown.

Splendid, Miss Smith.

Nice.

Thank you.

How will that suit you, Miss Smith?

What disgraceful extravagance?

It's delicious.

Do you enjoy living here?

I find it a fascinating country.

Wonderful people.

But there's another side of the coin,

even in this city there are places where

there's dirt, squalor, real poverty.

It isn't all like this,
you know, Mr. Brown.

Really, I'd never have dreamt it.

Well, there I go lecturing again.

No, it's very nice to be lectured

by a beautiful young lady.

Oh really, Mr. Brown, no, no.

Oh, just to liven it up.

Oh, why were you finding me dull?

Why, certainly not.

Why are you always on the defensive?

Oh, well, I will have a little drop.

It's very good.

I said why are you
always on the defensive?

Yes, I heard you.

I wasn't aware that
I was lacking confidence.

Aren't you?

You think I am.

What do you suggest I should do about it?

Well, I suggest that in the future

you say to yourself,

I'm an extremely attractive young lady,

and a clever one,

and I shall never be
on the defensive again.

Are you making a pass at me, Mr. Brown,

because if you are, please don't.

Well, if it displeases
you, I wouldn't dream of it.

Oh, I've offended you.

No, quite the contrary.

You see, I am not acting defensively.

I think we, really, ought
to get back to business now.

Yes, yes, of course.

You've given me a clear
picture of the background.

You've filled me with interesting facts.

In fact, I'm up to my ears in oil,

but you haven't answered all my questions.

Well, I've answered all I can.

There are facts and figures
that I can't give you.

Oh come on, why not?

The information you're
asking is classified.

Oh, Mr. Brown.

You haven't --

That's very funny.

Come, I don't like to be excluded.

You've been trying to pump me.

Priming me to pump me.

I think that's very funny.

Is it?

Would you like to dance?

Oh, thank you.

Oh, poor Mr. Brown, he
got done in the eye.

He wanted the facts, but
the old pump ran dry.

Ah, you must never refer to yourself

as an old pump, Miss Smith.

Oh no, I'm a very attractive
girl and a clever one,

and I'm never going to be
on the defensive again.

Is that right, Mr. Brown?

Right, Miss Smith.

Goodnight.

Thank you for a lovely evening.

I should come out of my shell more often.

I really had a whale of a time.

Goodnight, Mr. Brown.

John.

Goodnight, John.

Good evening.

Ma'suud.

Please don't let me chase you away, sir.

I wasn't expecting you this evening.

No, you weren't.

But you haven't introduced us.

Oh, come in.

Mr. Brown is a visiting journalist.

Mr. Brown, Ma'suud Bel Abbes.

How do you do, Mr. Bel Abbes?

Your servant, Mr. Brown.

So, you are here on business?

Yes.

To write about our people.

Oh, not exactly.

Mr. Brown's writing a story on oil.

Ah yes, that is an absorbing
subject to you westerners.

It appears to be the only
interest you have in our country.

I wouldn't say that.

You wouldn't.

And how do you like our beautiful city?

Oh, very much indeed.

Have you seen the area east of the river?

No, no, but Miss Smith has
been telling me about it.

Perhaps you should reserve your judgment

till you have seen the eastern district.

Perhaps I should.

You're not interested in our
social conditions, Mr. Brown.

You appear to be quite uncritical.

It would be an impertinence to be critical

in someone else's country.

Miss Smith does not
consider it an impertinence

to be critical.

Perhaps there should be
more impertinent people?

Perhaps there should.

Can I offer you a drink, Mr. Brown?

No, thank you.

I've had a hard day.

I really ought to be on my way.

There are lessons that we
could learn from the West.

What are they?

Well, there you are, tired
after a long day's work,

and yet you trouble to bring
Miss Smith all the way home.

Well.

Disinterested kindness, Mr. Brown,

now we would be much too
selfish to make such a gesture.

Yes, but your people are so selfish,

they probably wouldn't
even let the poor girl

go out on her own in the first place.

Yes, that is very true --

We are an absurdly
jealous people, Mr. Brown.

Can I get you something, Ma'suud?

No, thank you.

I made myself some coffee
whilst I was waiting.

I'm going to say goodnight.

Have you a car?

No, I'll pick up a taxi.

No, no, I will drive you.

I will consider it an honor.

Well, that solves that
little problem, doesn't it?

Goodnight, Miss Smith.

Goodnight, Mr. Brown.

Goodnight, Ma'suud.

Will I see you tomorrow?

I'm not sure about that.

Goodnight.

Goodnight.

Oh, good evening, Miss Smith.

Why don't you answer?

I hope you are not thinking
of doing anything foolish.

Miss Smith is a delightful
young lady, is she not?

Yes, delightful.

You like her.

Well, I've only met her this once.

She seems very likeable.

You will be seeing her again?

Perhaps.

I think that would be
a mistake, Mr. Brown.

You do?

Yes, I do.

Yes, rather interesting
what you were saying there

just now, Mr. Bel Abbes.

Why do you think it would be a mistake?

You're a visitor to
our country, Mr. Brown.

You must understand that we have

a very highly developed
sense of hospitality.

I feel it my duty to protect you.

I should not like to
see you make a mistake.

I am grateful for your concern,

but I assure you I have no
intention of making a mistake.

Yes, I am delighted to hear you say that.

I shall convey your
apologies to Miss Smith,

and tell her that you regret that you will

not be able to see her again.

I wouldn't do that, Mr. Bel Abbes.

That could've frightened me.

But it didn't.

No, because I know that
apart from a highly developed

sense of hospitality,

you also have a highly developed
sense of self-preservation.

Who is it?

John Brown.

Oh, just a minute.

Good evening, Mr. Brown, come in.

Thank you.

I called the embassy, but you'd left.

Yes, I just got back.

How's the story going?

I'd like to ask a few more questions,

if you can spare the time.

But of course.

Would you like a drink?

That would be nice.

I can only offer you sherry.

That's fine, fine thanks.

Did Ma'suud get you home safely?

Yes, yes, indeed.

Didn't you expect him to?

That old car of his,
he drives too fast in it.

How did you two get on?

Fine.

Fine.

He's very interesting.

Yes, fascinating.

Have you known him long?

Oh, about a year.

Why did you think we wouldn't get on?

Did I give that impression?

I thought so.

I didn't intend to.

Shall we sit down?

Okay.

Here's to better times.

I don't understand you, Mr. Brown.

Oh, it's just a toast.

Oh, good luck.

Cheers.

Yes, Ma'suud is a man with a mission.

Dedicated?

Very much so.

He has a strong social sense.

Unfortunately, he has no
sense for material things.

Sometimes, he forgets to
eat for a day at a time.

And no money.

He hasn't time for that.

It's hard on his family.

He's not married.

Just as well.

Oh, Mr. Brown now you're being cynical.

If you knew him as well as I did,

you'd understand him better.

Yes, I'm sure I would.

Did you have a pleasant day?

Oh, a lazy one.

I just mooched around the
town taking photographs.

You're a photographer?

In an amateur way.

Would you like to see them?

Yes.

Yes, well this one I took
outside the British embassy.

I used a telephoto lens.

This one was taken
outside the British Club.

You were having lunch there at the time.

And this one, just outside
your apartment here.

Who are you?

I've come all the way from London

to talk to you, Miss Smith.

Why are you so frightened?

Who wouldn't be?

You say you're a photographer,

and then you show me those.

And you say you've come
out here to speak to me.

Who is that man?

I've no idea!

Who's behind him?

Who's keeping you under surveillance?

I don't understand you!

Why does he follow you about everywhere?

Don't ask me.

Men do that in this part of the world.

They're not used to women
going about on their own.

They think we're morally lax.

They pursue us relentlessly.

And systematically, I call this one

the changing of the guard.

Oh!

This is monstrous!

I'm not well, I'm ill

Go away and leave me!

Miss Smith, Miss Smith let me help you.

Go away!

Please, tell me the truth.

Go away!

Get out of here!

Jean are you all right?

Yes, I'm all right.

Open the door!

You're distressed, what is it?

No, I'm not, I'm fine.

Yes, you are.

I can see it.

What's the matter?

I insist.

Please, both of you leave me alone!

Go away and leave me alone!

If you want me

I'll be at my hotel.

Can I offer you a lift, Mr. Brown?

I have a taxi waiting outside.

I took the liberty of sending it away.

Why did you do that?

I hoped to have the pleasure of driving

you home once again.

I also wish to talk to you.

Shall we go?

Very well.

I thought you wanted to talk to me.

Yes, it can wait, Mr. Brown.

You're in a hurry this evening.

Yes, I have an appointment.

Well, then you can
drop me, I'll pick up a taxi.

Not in this part of the town.

You're taking a new route this evening.

Yes, there is plenty
of traffic at this time.

Everybody's going home.

For all that, you're
going very far to the east.

We turn again west almost immediately.

Why are we stopping here?

I have something I wish to show you.

What is it you wanted to show me?

This way.

A friend of yours.

He's a very good friend of mine.

Now you have two.

Now, we can talk.

Thank you.

Mr. Brown, I'm a very understanding man.

I appreciate your interest in Miss Smith.

She is a most interesting young lady.

Do you think so?

I do.

I asked you not to see her again.

I'm, naturally, very disappointed
that you have done so.

You appear to have distressed her.

Ah, but some people have to
get hurt for their own good.

Yes, that is true.

But what is good or bad for Miss Smith

is none of your business.

But it is yours?

There's a very special relationship

between Miss Smith and myself

which makes it my business.

I notice that she has not
been happy since she met you.

She also seems to have been frightened.

She is a frightened lady.

I was hoping that you could tell me why.

Yes, because she fears you.

But I'm going to make sure that

you do not molest her again.

I did warn you.

I wish that you had listened to me.

So, this is Mr. Brown.

Has he told you what he
was doing at the Qisel Kya?

No.

Leave him to me.

Wait outside.

Hi, Nubar.

John.

John Drake I am not smiling.

You have no right to visit this country

without informing me.

Well, I'm only here for a couple of days.

It is not only a matter
of duty, and of courtesy.

More important, it is
a matter of friendship.

Yes, I was hoping you wouldn't find out.

Now, if you had notified me.

Then I apologize, but
it just wasn't convenient.

So, our friendship has become

a matter of your convenience.

Very well.

If you refuse to treat me as a friend,

I will behave as a policeman.

You were arrested an hour ago

in this deplorable state.

You told my men that you had
been set upon by thieves.

You said your name was John Brown.

I should like to know
what a Mr. John Brown,

an apparently respectable Briton
was doing in that district?

He must've had some business there.

What was it?

It requires an explanation.

So it may, but I can't give you one.

Perhaps you would like to tell me

why your people are persecuting a member

of our embassy staff.

Are we?

You are having this person
followed day and night.

I am?

I'm asking you.

That's an old trick of yours.

You make an accusation, you
are really asking a question.

Are you?

Even if we were, I wouldn't tell you.

Jai.

The police doctor will patch you up,

and then, they will drive
you back to your hotel.

Goodnight, Mr. Brown.

Goodnight, colonel.

And Mr. Brown, I have to tell you

that unless you give us
some further explanation

of your activities here,

we must ask you to leave the country.

Please think about it.

Yes.

Get me the British embassy.

Military attache's office.

Hello.

Ah, Major Fortescue.

Colonel Nubar Al-Alzeem here.

Just a friendly warning,

I don't like your spies
masquerading on our territory

under false names.

Yes, that is what I said.

Well, he calls himself John Brown,

but his name is Drake.

Drake, colonel?

Never heard of the fellow.

I know what is happening here.

I know your methods.

I have my own sources of information.

Colonel, I think you
must've made a mistake.

We have no Drake here.

I know what Drake's job is.

But of course, if you
disassociate yourself

he will just have to
take the consequences.

Well, quite right, colonel.

You must deal with this
fellow as you see fit.

Yes.

Bye bye.

Who is it?

It's me, Ma'suud.

Hello, Ma'suud.

What is it?

Please, Ma'suud don't.

Your foolishness has
put us both in danger!

Mr. Brown, what's happened to you?

We had a slight accident
on the way home last night,

didn't we, Mr. Bel Abbes?

That old car of yours, I told you

you drive it too fast.

Don't worry, he's got another
one a nice new shiny one.

You're not welcome here,
Mr. Brown. Please go.

Ma'suud.

Why does he get upset when
I mention his other car?

What car?

What are you talking about?

I have no idea.

Go now.

Not just yet, I have something
to show Miss Smith first.

I've been taking some more photographs.

Now, here's one of his new car.

That must've set you back a penny or two.

Is that your car, Ma'suud?

Of course not.

He parked outside
while he went into lunch.

Now, here's one of Ma'suud having lunch.

That must've been one of the occasions

when he hadn't eaten
for two or three days.

In this one, I show his companion.

I don't understand you, Mr. Brown.

I don't know what you're inferring.

Why shouldn't he have lunch
with her, whoever she is?

Why not, indeed?

Well, here they are leaving,
getting into the car.

Here they are arriving home.

Nice place, isn't it?

Nice place, isn't it?

His home, or hers?

Ah-ha, it's theirs.

Here a nice domestic situation.

It's his wife.

What an idiot.

What an idiot I've been.

I had to do it.

I'm very sorry.

Please, don't be.

The time has come to tell
the truth, don't you think?

Oh yes, of course I must.

What an unbelievable idiot.

Would you like to sit down?

Can I get you a drink?

No, thank you.

Well, who are those people?

The police, and of course,

Ma'suud must be a police agent.

Why are they keeping
you under surveillance?

They have a hold over me.

How did it happen?

I'd always led such a sheltered life

until I came out here.

I'd never been exposed
to this kind of ugliness.

I'd never seen real poverty.

I was shocked.

Angry.

And then I was lonely too.

It was then that
I happened to meet Ma'suud.

He made me believe that he was angry too,

not only angry, but
doing something about it.

We saw a great deal of each other.

Were you in love with him?

Whatever that means.

Yes.

He belonged to an underground
political organization

who were trying to improve
the conditions of the poor.

At least, that's what he made me believe.

He asked me to help him.

They were exciting times.

And then, one day he said
he was under suspicion

that he was being watched.

He was frightened they were
going to search his room.

So, he installed a safe in here in which

to keep his documents.

The police came and found it,

and bullied you, and
said that both you and he

would spend a long time in prison.

They said they would
execute Ma'suud for treason.

It was so convincing.

It was a nightmare.

And when this grey-haired man arrived,

he was quiet and gentle.

And said that if you gave
him certain information

there would be no trial,

and Ma'suud would be safe.

They wanted the classified oil figures.

Didn't that surprise you. Our companies

already supply them with returns?

It seems they don't trust them.

But you gave them other
classified material, didn't you?

Anything that came in front of you.

Well, once it had started,

they wanted more and more.

And you gave them
everything they asked for.

They terrorized me.

They followed me day and night.

I never knew when the phone would ring.

Always someone threatening me,
reminding me of the --

That's him.

Who?

The grey-haired man.

I've got to get out of here.

He frightens me.

Go to my hotel, book yourself a room,

and don't make a move
until you hear from me.

The keys to my car,

it's at the corner of the building

under the trees by the fountain.

Silver Grey convertible.

Down you go.

Good evening.

Is Miss Smith in?

No, I'm afraid she is not.

Then what are you doing here?

I was just about to ask you that question.

I am from the secret police.

What is your name?

Brown.

Mr. Brown, may I see your passport?

Oh yes, with pleasure.

There it is.

Hmm, a journalist.

You are a journalist, Mr. Brown?

Oh yes, that's the way I earn my living.

Perhaps you supplement
your living by other means.

Such as?

A spy.

Ah no, I think you've
got hold of the wrong man.

Then that is most unfortunate.

Because I have specific
instructions to see

that a Mr. John Brown
is on the first flight

out of this country.

There are many John Browns.

Not in this city.

And Mr. Brown you have a plane to catch.

I'll tell you what we'll do.

I'll go down with you
to police headquarters,

and I'm going to have a long chat with

Col. Nubar Al-Alzeem.

I'm afraid that would
serve no very good purpose.

Shall we go?

Ahmed.

Oh well, if you like.

Good evening,
Colonel Nubar Al-Alzeem.

Good evening, Mr. Brown.

You could, at least, have sent for me

and told me yourself.

I thought you were straight
and a friend of mine,

and I was wrong.

Now, you just send for my passport,

and I'll get out of your way!

Your false passport?

Yes, my false passport!

I've never seen you so angry,

what have I done?

I suppose you didn't send those two thugs

to put me out of the country.

Thugs?

What are you talking about?

Don't you know?

No.

Is that the truth?

Because if it is, it
explains a lot of things.

I am telling you the truth, John.

Then I have some interesting news for you.

There are three foreign
agents in this town

posing as members of your force.

But would they have
the impertinence to try

and deport you?

No.

No, once they got me in the car,

they'd take me
to a convenient spot and kill me.

Here's a photograph of two of them.

Here's a photograph of an accomplice.

I have his address.

You do?

Then, let's visit him before
he changes it, eh John?

You wish to see me, Mr. Brown?

Oh yes, please.

May I return the compliment?

I'm surprised that you've been so foolish

as to come here, Mr. Brown.

I'm sorry to expose you
in front of Miss Smith.

No personal animosity, I assure you.

On my part there is.

Why have you not left the country?

I assume that you are
one of Colonel Al-Alzeem's men.

Yes, but you must
surely know that the penalties

for spying in this country
are extremely severe.

Yes, yes, I believe they
impose the death penalty.

Ma'suud Bel Abbes.

Now, we have to find out
who he was working for.

Don't worry.

When we get him back to headquarters,

my men will soon make him talk.

Somebody else had the same idea.

They killed him because they knew

our powers of persuasion down here.

If I had just one of their men,

I would squeeze the last
atom of truth out of him.

Yes, I can imagine.

Oh, nothing brutal, John.

We're a modern force now, we
have all the latest methods.

Not as satisfying but surer.

Yes, just one of them.

No, they won't show themselves now.

They'll have gone into hiding.

We must set a trap.

What do we use for bait?

Well, right now, they're thinking

if they can get rid of the girl and me,

there'll be no one to identify them,

and they'll be in the clear.

They're not coming running into a trap

with you as bait, John.

No, but they might with the girl.

They'll still think
they have a hold over her.

You are right.

Well, how do we set the trap?

Her apartment.

They'll still be watching it.

It's their only means of contacting her.

Now, because they're
frightened they'll make

an extremely cautious approach.

Your men mustn't show
till the very last second.

Of course.

Shall I bring her in?

Yes.

Very well.

Yes, yes, it's better if I see her alone.

You will tell her how
you intend to use her?

Of course.

Is that necessary?

It is as far as I'm concerned.

She may have been stupid,
but she's angry now,

and she has courage.

This a chance for her to level up.

I think she'll take it.

Come in, Miss Smith.

And do sit down.

Miss Smith, I'm afraid
I have some bad news for you.

Your police friends are not police at all.

They are foreign agents.

Oh no.

Oh, I've made a dreadful mess
of everything, haven't I?

I swear I didn't know.

I loathe myself.

Would you like another chance?

Isn't it too late now?

No, but it does involve
a certain amount of danger.

Please, I'll do anything.

That's what I thought you'd say.

That one.

Now, get rid of these
for me, would you please?

How do you feel?

Very frightened.

Keep your chin up.

Ah-ha, now come into my parlor
said the spider to the fly.

Come in Nubar.

Hello, John I can hear you.

Your people ready?

All in position.

Miss Smith is here, all we can do is wait.

Come fast when I call you.

We can be with you in two minutes.

Good.

Standby.

I see a car coming.

False alarm.

It's only a young couple.

Hello, what have we here.

This looks like it.

Yes, yes, I know him.

It's one of their men.

He's just checking that
everything is safe.

They have lookouts

either end of the street.

The man opposite is signaling
that everything is all clear.

Shouldn't be long now.

Right.

Come with me, and wondrous
things I'll show thee.

Stand here.

Watch the screen.

The moment they enter the lift, signal me.

Mr. Brown, they're coming up the stairs.

Nubar, get here fast.

What are you doing?!

How dare you?!

There is no time to talk, Miss Smith.

You have been betrayed.

We must get you away from here at once.

I'm not coming with you!

Oh yes, you are.

Look, they will ship you
home and put you in prison.

I won't come!

Ah, John so you got me one.

Yes, and there are two
more locked in the lift.

Would you send somebody
upstairs to close the door.

Are you all right?

Yes.

You sure?

I'm fine.

You know something,

I feel like a drink.

Well, I can only offer you sherry.