Secret Agent (1964–1967): Season 2, Episode 10 - Are You Going to Be More Permanent? - full transcript

Mr. Drake's on his way down, sir.

Thank you, Ms. Hart.

Hello, Drake.

What's the panic?
-Geneva trouble.

Yes, I heard your controller
there had gone missing.

Yes, that was a month ago.

Jordan replaced him and
now Jordan's gone missing.

Like Aldington?
-Yes, like Aldington.

He's disappeared into thin air.

Well, it has to be
a double agent, doesn't it?

Yes, I think one of
our three Geneva contacts



must have gone other to the other side.

You need help and
I don't need three guesses

as to who the next controller
in Geneva's going to be.

Yes, I booked you into the
Baur au Lac on the Quai des Berques.

You leave on flight 732. Take off at 1:45.

Aldington didn't know that
one of his contacts was rotten,

Jordan on the other hand
was expecting trouble.

Exactly and they still got him.

Will you run the film please?

I'll show you some of the
contacts you'll be meeting.

First, we have Joseph Laclos.

He works as a waiter in the
Voile au vent in the Rue de Lausanne.

He takes in all the travelers'
reports from East Germany,

microfilms them and will
hand them over to you



at a numbered rendezvous.

Do I pay in dollars?
-Yes.

Identification procedure?

I'll give you all the details later.

He looks innocuous enough.

Yes, he's been with us two years.

He's very reliable, so far.

Now we have Wolf Kronenberger.

The appearance is deceptive.

He runs a rather chi-chi men's
shop on the Quai de Mont Blanc.

He has unique Balkan contacts
and keeps them to himself.

But all his information's
been 100% accurate.

Looks like a butterfly with a sting to me.

Yes, he always short of money,

but he's had an absolutely clear record

for an impressive length of time.

How impressive?
-Five years.

How to I contact him?

Same pattern, microfilms,
payment, numbered rendezvous.

And this is Lesley Arden.

Certainly the most
attractive prospect so far.

Half English, half French.

She's the friend of Vladimir Synikov.

He's their ambassador.
-That's right.

And he says indiscreet things to her.

Correct. And the things that are

of interest to us, she'll pass on to you.

This is a disillusioning business,

what's the procedure with the lady?

You'll put an
advertisement in the personal column

of the Tribune de Geneve.

I suppose it would be indiscreet
to call at her apartment.

Very, in fact you'll only do
that in an extreme emergency.

Well, Drake, one of those three

will be out to dispose
of you. Any hunches?

None, I'm afraid.

What message do I put in the paper?

Everything you need to know is in here.

Thanks, Colonel. I'll be saying goodbye.

I take it you're going

to contact Miss Arden first.

Of course, with a gentleman,

the ladies automatically come first.

Well, watch out for those three.

Don't worry, I will.

Yes, I want to put the same
message in the personal column.

That's right, for tomorrow's issue.

Cherie, gambling on seeing
you, usual place, 3:30.

That's right.

Thank you.

According to the information
on the door, you speak English.

That is so, sir. What can I do for you?

A friend of mine tells me
you've got the best selection

of bow ties in Europe.

That's very flattering, sir.

May I inquire the customer's name?

Lyttleton, Francis Lyttleton.

Ah, yes, I know the Captain very well.

Certainly he's one of our best clients.

May I?

Yes, yes I think we can
do something for you, sir.

May I see a selection?

Morning.

You're punctual, but I've
been here for 15 minutes.

Come here often before I open up my place.

Sit down, there's nobody about.

Never is at this time of day,

it's the perfect meeting place.

Can you really trust the pigeons?

You have that curious sense of humor.

Aldington had it, I dealt
with him for a year.

And Jordan.

Where is he now?

What is happening?

Are you always so curious, Kronenberger?

Yes, it's a fault and please call me Wolf.

Kronenberger makes me
sound like a chess player.

Aldington, Jordan, can you
tell me, are they well?

How do you think they are, Wolf?

Me, I don't know, I imagine
they're in good health.

You mean, you don't know how they are?

I have no idea, you
see, I've never met them.

Obviously the system changes.

But you do have the money though?

You do have the goods?

By Saturday I should have them.

Then by Saturday you'll have the money.

Saturday is in four days.

Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday.

Yes that's quite right.

You have not introduced
yourself, by the way.

So sorry, Elliot, John
Elliot, how do you do?

How do you do, John?

You don't mind if --

I don't mind if you call me John, Wolf.

If I could explain to you about the money.

What is there to explain?

I need it now, tomorrow at the latest.

I'm afraid that first name terms

aren't going to help us there.

You see, I have my orders.

Yes, but orders can
be stretched a little.

Not when they're inelastic.

Well, I've never failed to deliver.

And under my control, that
record is going to hold.

Aldington used to oblige me.

Yes, Aldington knew you better than I do.

He understood my weaknesses.

And I never let him down.

No.
-No, never.

In your position you
shouldn't have weaknesses.

We're all human, aren't we?

I wouldn't like to boast about it.

Couldn't you just --

Just how human are you, Wolf?

You mean, my weakness?
-Yes.

Birds.

Are crumbs so expensive in Geneva then?

Very expensive.

You get me the film before Saturday

and I will give you the money.

That's not possible.

Saturday then.

Where do we meet and at what time?

Couldn't I persuade you to --

To be human, no.

Two o'clock, Saturday,

Villa Amphitryon on the
route de Florissant.

Here, let yourself in with this.

The Villa Amphitryon is not on the list.

No, it's a little discovery of my own.

It's quite safe.

Here, don't you trust me?

Yes of course, of
course I trust you, Wolf.

I must go now, it's time I opened up.

Perhaps you would like to
finish feeding the birds.

Thank you.

Yes, I have a little time.

Monsieur.

I don't think we shall need this.

A friend of mine tells
me there's only one dish

to have at the Voile au Vent in summer.

That is Friture de Perchettes

with a bottle of Green Sylvaner.

Certainly, monsieur, it is our specialty.

Perhaps you've served this friend of mine,

he also has a weakness for
Fladen and Krapfen.

Would it be a rather
plump gentleman with a beard

who always carries a camera?

Yes, he would.

Most appreciative customer monsieur,

most appreciative.

I hope everything was to
your liking, monsieur.

Yes, everything was excellent,
quite, quite excellent.

Thank you.

Thank you, monsieur.

What happened, have you given up reading.

You're not supposed to come here.

I got tired at waiting at the Alpha Bar

and the charm of that oversized fountain

is strictly limited.

Where have you been?

You better come in.

Alright.

Exotic bird, exotic setting.

I don't like sarcasm before 12.

I don't like being left dangling.

I have an explanation
if you care to hear it.

How improbable is it?

Vladimir had to go to
Zurich, I had to go with him,

it is my job, you know.

Yes, I do know.

I didn't want to go,
Zurich isn't exactly gay.

Kirche, kinder and kuche!

I see you know the place.

It's in my guide book.
-Am I forgiven?

Don't men usually forgive you?

Yes, nauseating isn't it?

Beautiful, honest and a sense of humor,

you must be irresistible.

Can we talk now or are
you expecting a visitor?

Vladimir only turns up in the evenings.

Sit down, have a drink.

Tell me, do you like Vladimir?

It's not in your brief to ask me

that kind of question, is it?

Do you have any ice?

As a matter of fact,
I fell in love with him.

Gin and tonic?

Fine. And then?

I fell out and don't probe me any further.

I'm sorry, I hardly ever ask questions.

It's alright, like me
you're very forgivable.

What's in your funny bag?

My emergency kit.

Dr. Kildare, I presume.

Dr. Elliot, if Vladimir
should happen to return,

you'll have just come down
with a blinding migraine.

I really am a sufferer, you know.

Oh, yes, I do know, it's in your records.

Ingenious, aren't you.

Aren't you going to join me?

Yes, yes I think I am.

What happened to Jordan?

Another assignment.

Are you going to be more permanent?

I have no idea, I just do as I'm told.

Do you?

Does Vladimir know
that you suffer from migraines?

Yes, I've had quite a few recently.

You must be getting tired of him.

He had charming ways.

A sort of irresistible
graceful clumsiness.

Little tufts of hair on his cheekbones

like a British Naval officer.

Skol.

I used to pull them

and he'd pretend to be angry with me.

Past tense?

There's something about you

that makes me start to confess.

Maybe I missed my vocation.

There's something else
I'd like to confess.

Right now, I'd like to disappear.

Disappear?
-Find a new city.

Which city?

I don't know, I'll just
spin the globe, close my eyes,

stop it with my finger and
wherever my finger rests,

that's the place I'll go.

You better be careful,
four fifths of it is water.

Dr. Elliot, you have
the most important quality

a man should have.

And that is?

A sense of the ridiculous.

The Colonel would not be impressed

if he could hear you now.

Oh, I'll see it through.
I mean I'm a big girl now, aren't I?

I know I can't walk out
on this kind of job.

Zurich yielded some
surprisingly good tit-bits.

It's all in here.

Have you used the new code?

Yes, Sons and Lovers.

Vladimir?
-Must be.

Lie down, close your eyes, migraine.

Leave the rest to me.

A messenger left them.

You know, I'm a very
silly person, very silly.

Are you seeking a compliment?

No, no, I mean it.

I really am very stupid.
-Why?

Can't you guess?

No.

I find too many men attractive.

And that is stupid?

Yes, because then I get to know them.

And rarely, if ever, do you forgive them.

Forgive, but never forget.

Are they from --
-Yes they are.

I read the message I'm afraid,

but I don't understand the language.

The message is untranslatable.

Why don't we finish our drinks.

Shouldn't these be put in water?

Are you always kind to flowers.

Always.

Why don't I meet you at the
Alpha Bar on Saturday morning.

You mean, I don't have to
advertise in the newspaper.

How about animals?

I'll have the dollars with me.

There's no hurry about the money.

Isn't there?

That's unusual.

You didn't answer my question.

The answer is yes.

And people?

People?

I'm hardly ever kind to people.

Skol.

Skol.

I placed you as a man who
would stay at a hotel luxe!

I was right, wasn't I?

You may be right once too often, Wolf.

Cigarette?

We are not too unlike I think,
you and I, John.

Gold?

This is gold too.

There are some people that
think that gold's vulgar.

But you're not one of them.

No, I'm not, are you?

You didn't come here to
discuss degrees of taste, did you?

May I help myself to a drink?

Carry on.
-Thank you.

Come to the point, Wolf.

The point.

Yes, well, the point is
usually so unpleasant

that I prefer to delay coming
to it as long as possible.

I have a passion for other
things besides gold, you know.

I have a passion for cleanliness.

Clean sheets for example.

Every night I sleep between clean sheets.

You may not believe it
but my parents were pigs.

They wallowed in filth.

Because they were very, very poor.

That explains your passion for gold.

Yes, and why I shower three times a day.

Your personal habits don't interest me

in the slightest, Wolf.

I was born in Bulgaria, you know.

My father was Armenian,

my mother was a melange of nationalities.

So you see, I'm really a mongrel.

To the point, Wolf, the point.

When I reached into my
inside pocket just now,

were you expecting me to produce this?

I wouldn't have been the least surprised.

Is that gold too?

No, no, golden guns are
only for fiction, aren't they.

Is it loaded?

Of course.

Have you ever used one of these?

The Japanese get cleverer
all the time, don't they.

Beautifully made, isn't it?

Yes, beautifully, beautifully.

John?
-Yes, Wolf?

Tomorrow is Friday.

And the following day we have meeting

at the Villa Amphitryon.

You have a thousand dollars
for me, give me 500 now.

You're very persistent
Wolf, very, very persistent.

What is it, John, don't you trust me?

I wouldn't say that.

Five hundred dollars.

Last time we met, nothing
would persuade you to do this.

I changed my mind,
you've got to be flexible.

Flexible to stay alive.

Yes, yes a good thing
I think to be flexible.

Wolf Kronenberger has just
called unexpectedly at my room.

He wanted money.

I gave him 500 dollars,

seemed better than having
him follow me about

until the delivery date
at the Villa Amphitryon

on Saturday afternoon.

This meeting may well prove
whether Wolf is our man or not.

In the meantime,
I have a rendezvous with Joseph Laclos

at the Natural History Museum.

An unlikely place for an
ambush, but one never knows.

Yes.

Ah, you are English, of course.

I was asking, do you
not find the albatross

truly fascinating?

Yes, it's a legendary bird, is it not.

To see one flying.

To be on board ship and
observe the flight pattern.

Tell me, monsieur, are you
aware that in relation to the

ship, the albatross makes
a rhythmic geometrical pattern?

Here is the ship and
here is the albatross.

As the ship sails, the albatross
follows in this manner.

Here she is flying low, then away again,

at this distance, she is
flying parallel, then returns,

then away again making
a perfect geometrical pattern.

Fascinating.

Are you aware, monsieur, that the length

of this bird's wings
exceed that of all others.

That accounts for its
extraordinary powers of flight.

It is also due to the large
number of secondary feathers

attached to the ulna above
the wrist of the wing.

Most interesting information.

Are you also aware, monsieur,
that this extraordinary bird

lands only to nest.

Really?

Yes, the albatross goes to
sleep, floating on the waves.

Incidentally, it drinks seawater.

Most instructive, thank you very much.

But monsieur, there are so many others.

You're a quarter of an hour late.

Yes, I am.

I am lucky to be here at all.

What went wrong?

Somebody just tried to kill me.

Kill you?

I was driving in my car,

going along the Rue de Montbrillant

It happened by the traffic
lights at the intersection

of the Rue de Monthoux.

The lights were against us.

And stopped in front of
me was a white Volkswagen.

I was staring ahead, the way one does.

When I noticed there was no
glass in the rear window.

Suddenly I had an intuition.

I ducked my head quickly

and a bullet shattered my windscreen.

You're lucky to have
that kind of intuition.

I tell you, I'm still
feeling kind of shaken inside.

Did you notice anyone?

No, no, by the time I lifted my head,

they must have turned off into the

Rue de Monthoux.

Didn't they attract any attention?

No, no, no, there was no noise.

Must have had a silencer.

This means one thing, doesn't it?

Yes.

I'm blown.

Yes, they seemed to have
got your number alright.

We'll just have to pull
you out of the network.

I promise you, I am
not going to hang around.

I have the package, I'll
get it ready for delivery.

Tonight?

I'll have the money.

Tomorrow I make for Rome.

You can contact me through the agency.

About tonight, where do
you want us to complete?

Yes, let's make it safe.

The ruined house on the Route de Ferney.

You know it?

No, but it's in the book.

What time?
-At midnight.

Laclos?

Laclos?

Laclos?

I now know the method of disposal,

but I am not yet sure
which of them is behind it.

Animal, vegetable or mineral.

Very much man.

Did you think I wasn't going to turn up?

I was beginning to wonder,

you're 15 minutes late.

I have an explanation.
Would you care to hear it?

How improbable is it?

Plain girls always turn up

for an appointment on time.

Attractive girls, 10 minutes
later, beauties 20 minutes,

but goddesses, goddesses only
turn up after a half an hour.

So you see, I'm really 15 minutes early.

I wasn't wrong about you,
you're very forgivable.

I wasn't wrong about you,
you're very forgivable.

Monsieur?

Cafe noir. Une grande tasse,
s'il vous plait

So, that's the real reason you're late,

a large cup of black coffee
can only mean one thing,

a hangover.

Confess.

Goddesses should be above cynicism.

Alright, what were you up to last night?

I can promise you I wasn't drinking.

You're reluctant to
tell me though, aren't you?

Not at all, I went for a little drive.

Do you enjoy country pleasures?

I'm very bucolic, I motored to Coppet

via the Route de Ferney.

Did you see the old chateau?

No, I didn't, Lesley.

That's the first time.

First time?

You called me Lesley.

Oh, uh.

Let me do that, how many lumps?

Two please.

The service here is excellent,
I must come more often.

Good.

The occasion is so
pleasant, I almost forgot

the reason for our meeting.

I think you'll find that
adds up to the right amount.

Do you have to put a pin in the balloon?

Do you really object
to pleasure with business?

Perhaps I'm over sensitive.

I want you to do something for me.

When you make out your
report to the Colonel,

would you please ask him to transfer me?

A new assignment?

As quickly as possible.

I'll make it urgent.

Were you thinking of
driving to the country

again this evening?

No, I hadn't any plans
at all for this evening.

Why?

Vladimir flies to Lausanne this afternoon.

Alone?
-Alone.

That's interesting, when's he coming back?

Tomorrow.

Cognac.

I have an appointment this afternoon.

Have you any plans for this evening?

I'd like to make a suggestion
if you'd care to hear it.

Oh, yes, I do care, Lesley, I do care.

I would like very much
to cook a meal for you.

Suggestion approved as long as you

allow me to choose the wine.

Of course.

First we have gazpacho.

with gazpacho....Amontillado

And the we have chateaubriand
with bearnaise sauce.

chateaubriand...Chambertin

I don't care what we have with pudding,

as long as we drink chateau d'Yquem.

With that for pudding, Bombe Surprise.

John?

John?

Drop it.

What's the matter, Wolf?

Are you nervous.

In our line of business,

one should always take precautions.

Yes, you can pick it up now.

Yes.

Yes, of course.

What's the matter, John?

Where were you hiding?

I wasn't, I was upstairs
just looking the place over.

What did you expect to find?

Nothing.

Here we have a place
where you can really breathe.

Although the villa has been up --

What's going on, what are you up to?

Nothing, I know no more than you.

You see, it is very solidly built.

This is a place with three bathrooms --

Let's complete and get out of here.

My contact has been delayed.

You haven't got the film?

No, but don't worry.

He told me he'll be in this
evening, you'll have it later.

You sure?
-I'm certain.

You realize you're not
going to get the money now.

Later, later will be alright.

This staircase for example is made of oak,

the handrail is of mahogany.

Good craftsmanship.

Shall we complete the
downstairs inspection?

Here we have the living room.

Twelve meters by six, high ceilings.

Let's meet this evening, say midnight.

It's not really terribly
convenient this evening,

but where at midnight?

Let's make it somewhere
where nothing can go wrong.

Do you know the ruined
house on route de Ferney?

Yes, yes I do know it but --

The previous occupier used
this room as a study.

Someone has left the window open.

I'm now on my way to
have dinner with Lesley Arden

in her apartment.

Later, I'm meeting Wolf
at the ruined house

on the Route de Ferney.

Whatever happens, we'll
get our answer tonight.

Ah, you should be
crowned with vine leaves.

I'm incognito this evening.

I like garlic.

Even on fingers?

I'm in the middle of gazpacho.

Can I help you?

Yes.
-Gin and tonic?

Thank you, but I think
I'll start with sherry.

The chateau d'Yquem should be put

in the refrigerator right away.

But, the kitchen's in here.

I'll go fix myself a drink
and then I'll join you.

Did Vladimir get away alright?

I imagine so, yes.

I hope so.

It would be very embarrassing
if he turned up unexpectedly.

You see, I haven't got my
doctor's kit with me this evening.

Have you got a corkscrew?

I'll bring one in.

You were very much on time this evening.

After this morning, I daren't be late.

You'd dare anything.

That's not true.

Ah.

There you are.

What a charming scene.

I'm not really domesticated.

Let me finish stirring
that, you open the wine.

Alright.

What wouldn't you dare?

You don't expect me to tell you

all my little weaknesses, do you?

Honestly, I don't believe you have any.

What if I were to tell
you that I was scared

of going into empty old houses at night.

I wouldn't believe you.

Then there's nothing
more to be said, is there?

You're like one of those
actors in a Japanese play,

aren't you, you always wear a mask.

A little more seasoning, you think?

Just a touch of pepper.

Yes, I think you're right.

Have you ever been near to marriage?

How do you know I'm not married?

I can tell.

No, not very near. And you?

Yeah, very near, but finally no.

Do you regret not having --

It's not too late for me, is it?

I think it is.

In fact, I know it is.

And you?

For me too.

You haven't got a glass.

The music stopped.

Yes, why don't you go
and put on another record

and then find yourself
a glass in the cabinet.

Make yourself comfortable.

And you?

Well, I just have to
finish chopping these up

and then I'll join you.

The music, have you
any special preference?

Surprise me.

How did you know that
was the music I wanted.

Intuition.

Have you found a glass?

Don't worry, I can manage myself.

I'll be with you in exactly one minute.

Alright.

Is there plenty of ice?

I'll check.

Because if not,

there's plenty in the
refrigerator and I'll bring it in.

There's lots of ice here.

If there's one thing that I can't stand,

it's an inadequacy of ice.

Have you ever had that South
American drink, brandy float,

crushed ice in a champagne glass,

with a brandy floated on benedictine

and the whole sucked through a straw?

Sounds cool.

How's the sherry?

Very nutty.

You should have
chilled it a little though.

It's a pity, isn't it?
-Pity?

Yes, he should have his columnbine.

Ah, yes.

Yes, he's very handsome, isn't he?

Why don't you light the candles.

How hungry are you?

Not desperately.

Then why don't we dance?

You spoil me.

Everything has been perfect, everything.

The wines, the sauces, the
meats, the sweets, brandy.

Particularly, you, Lesley.

It's so marvelous to be able to relax.

It's so rarely
that one can relax completely.

You couldn't find it in your
heart, could you, Lesley,

to fire that thing at me?

Keep your eyes closed.

I must reject the blindfold,

I have to know what is happening.

Stop talking.

I knew there was a 50/50
chance it might be you,

but emotionally I rejected it.

You see, I was certain that --

That what?

It doesn't matter.

What happens after the dart knocks me out?

How do you ship me behind the curtain?

Do you know if Jordan and Aldington

have done any talking yet?

Do you know how hard
they've been persuaded?

Do you, Lesley?

No, I don't know.

Somewhere alone the line,
you've got to find one man

and stick to him.

They won't kill you.

Do I get a written guarantee?

Please, don't be funny.

How can someone like you change sides,

play the turncoat?

I have not changed sides.

I've been working for
them right from the start.

So, Vladimir isn't
in Lausanne, is he?

No, he'll be here any minute.

Then there's nothing more to say.

Pull the trigger.

I've been trying to all this time,

but my finger's paralyzed.

I can't shoot you.

I can't.

Let me help you.

It wouldn't have mattered if
you had pulled the trigger.

I'm glad you didn't.

I unloaded it while you
were in the kitchen.

You're in a spot, Lesley.

Tell me exactly what happens
when Vladimir arrives.

Don't worry, he's only going home.

Well -- one for the road.