Secret Agent (1964–1967): Season 1, Episode 8 - The Battle of the Cameras - full transcript

Pardon, Madame.

Agent 1056 reporting for duty, Sir.

Wet old morning, sir.

So I've noticed.

Boyd, I've got a job for you.

You'll be leaving today
for the Cote d'Azur.

Well, I shan't find that hard to take, Sir.

Thought Drake was down there.

That's right.

Yes.

Yes, I thought so.



So I shall be relieving him then, Sir?

No.

You'll be assisting him.

I'll be glad to.

Always had a great respect for Drake, Sir.

Oh, have you?

What's the score then, Sir?

Stolen secrets.

Our latest technical developments.

There's been a spate of thefts
over the past five months.

And it's big money.

Someone's in the wholesale business.

Running an exchange.

And we've got to nail him.



Now we think it's a man called Kent.

Anyway, Drake's down there now

trying to worm his way into his confidence

using F6 as bait.

F6, that's a rocket fuel formula.

Mm-hmm.

And if Drake can make him
buy it, we've got him.

How's Drake doing, Sir?

Oh, Kent is a fly bird.

It'll need an extra cautious approach.

Well, I expect things'll look up

when I get down there, Sir.

Don't worry, Drake'll have
his nose well to the grindstone.

Banco.

Madame?

Pardonnez moi.

May I have a light?

Certainly.

After what you
have done to me at the table,

I have no money even for matches.

Well, that's soon remedied,

you better hang onto these.

Oh you are staying there?

You don't believe in roughing it.

I find luxury just about adequate.

Let me console you with a drink.

The spoils to the victor.

Anyway I would like
to prove the French can lose

as gracefully as the English.

Also, I am curious.

Curious?

Yes, there's something I don't understand.

What's that?

You didn't bet against anybody but me, why?

Each of the three times I had the bank

you called banco and each time you won.

Look, you mustn't just sit there

and smile charmingly, you know.

I wanted to catch your eye.

What are you drinking?

To catch my eye?

Well, couldn't you have done it in a way

that would have been less expensive for me?

I mean, it doesn't amuse me
to lose 5000 francs, you know.

I will have a cognac, please.

There you are.

Now you can smile again.

And two cognacs.

You should never be without that smile.

I don't think I should accept these.

Why not?

Well, it is not sporting,

as you British say.

When one loses one should pay.

I wouldn't know.

I've never read the Queensbury rules.

I don't understand.

However, there's a way
around this question of honor.

Yes, I shall play roulette with these.

I shall put them all on red.

If I win, we will share.

Coming?

No, I'll wait here.

I don't think I could bear the suspense.

And when I come back you must tell me

what these Queensbury rules are.

Bonne chance.

Black won I'm afraid.

Don't be afraid and don't lose the smile.

That's better. -

An expensive smile.

You can, if you will, do me a little favor.

The little favors are always
the impossible ones to grant.

This one isn't, I promise you.

Deliver that for me.

A.J.A. Kent Esquire?

But there's no address.

I think you know where to find him.

What's this, a joke?

Well if it is,
he paid me 5000 francs to play it.

Ah.

Is there a message?

Yes.

What's his name?

I don't know.

Do you know where he lives?

At the Henri Quatre, I believe.

He's either a fool or clever.

Which would you say, Martine?

Clever.

What nationality?

British.

But in a way he's quite un-British.

Tall?

Yes.

The body of an athlete?

Athletic.

Good-looking?

Yes.

Look, why don't you say it for me.

The sort of man I find attractive.

You're so perceptive,
Martine, I don't have to say it.

Besides, you've really
no interest in such men, have you?

This little card is quite disturbing.

Or, perhaps not disturbing.

Challenging.

Is it important?

I believe that from
time to time you take an aperitif

at the casino bar.

Sometimes, yes.

Well tomorrow had better
be one of those times.

Yes.

World Travel, London, holiday Riviera,

expensive business,
send further thousand pounds,

signed Symons.

Got it?

Thank you.

Good evening.

Oh, it's you.

I had a feeling we'd meet again.

Thank you.

My name is Martine.

Mine's Peter.

Peter Symons.

Now that's funny,
you don't look like a Peter to me.

What do Peters look like?

They are dark
and they have sallow complexions

and they don't have beautiful blue eyes.

How do I look, then?

Lawrence perhaps, or John.

Yes, I think John.

That's funny, you know,
my middle name is John.

Peter John Symons.

What would you like to drink, sir?

What are you having?

Campari soda, please.

Two Campari sodas, please.

And what do you do, John?

Do?

Yes, what do you do with your life?

Nothing, but I do it terribly well.

Were you left a lot money, then?

Not really, no.

I get by playing
what other people call games of chance.

Then you live dangerously?

Let us say insecurely.

And you?

Oh, insecurely also.

But I have no complaints,

I've been very fortunate.

I'm sure you could have anything you want.

Certainly, if I pay.

We all pay, don't we, one way or another.

Does Mr. Kent pay?

Mr. Kent, I don't know.

I really don't know.

I believe he got his payment

by getting acid thrown in his face.

They tell me that's why he walks about

like the Jack of Spades, in profile.

He doesn't make friends easily, does he?

I don't think he makes them at all.

How about you?

Oh I am discrete.

I'm sure you are.

That is why you may ask me for dinner.

Nothing would give me more
pleasure, unfortunately,

I have an engagement.

Had.

Had an engagement.

That's better.

I hate predictable men.

Where shall we go?

The Coq d'Or, where else?

I had an engagement too.

I must make a telephone call.

Martine here.

Yes, Martine.

I want you to go to the hotel apartment

and I want you to search it very carefully.

Okay.

I will make a thorough job of it.

You can take your time.

Yes.

Yes, he won't be back
for another two hours at least.

Okay, Martine.

Ah, good evening, young man.

Do you mind if I come in?

Encore.

Good morning, monsieur.

Good morning.

You're early.

Yes, hot already.

Would you like to make me

a citron presse.

What can I do for you, Monsieur?

I've come to see you
because I have a problem.

Oh, yes?

Yes, no matter how
respectable my hotel might be,

I still suffer from pilferers.

Pilferers?

Yes, people who break
into my hotel and attempt

to make off with my valuables.

What do you want me to do about it?

Well, I thought perhaps
you might be able to teach me

some judo, so that I could
deal with these fellows.

You want me to teach you judo?

Yes, it seems reasonable, doesn't it?

So that I might be able to, thank you,

defend myself?

It is not something
you can learn overnight, you know.

I realize that.

But I'm going to be here for some time.

I see.

Well, in that case,
I may teach you a trick or two.

Would you step on this mat, please?

Ah, you will first take off
your shoes, if you don't mind.

Yes, of course, etiquette.

That's better, isn't it?

Thank you so much.

Would you call this a fair match?

Size and muscle are of no
account in the gentle art

of judo, Monsieur.

Yes, that's the sort of thing
I'd like to be able to do.

Good, there is another
useful trick I could show you.

That's simply splendid.

Exactly the sort of thing I had in mind.

Sorry, old boy, is that against the rules?

Ah, ah, ah, naughty, naughty.

Would you be kind enough

to deliver that to your boss for me?

But he went off to eat with Martine,

how could he have got onto me?

That's how he got onto you, Genicot.

But I checked for a camera.

Then you failed
to find it, Genicot, didn't you?

But there was nothing.

It could only have been a camera.

Where could he have rigged the thing?

What else did you find?

Oh nothing.

F6, still waiting to hear from you.

He's clever.

Maybe too clever.

There's no such thing.

I can't allow a shrewd
intelligent man like this

to work for himself.

He must work for me.

You might just be making a mistake.

When I make a mistake,
Genicot, I'll resign.

I tell you, this man is not to be trusted.

Don't concern yourself anymore.

Relax.

Let me do the worrying.

It is only that--

Yes?

Oh, nothing.

You're the boss.

Thank you, Genicot.

And now I think
we better see how Mr. Symons

spends his spare time.

What's he looking at?

He is watching this house.

And who's this?

Oh, that's Felix, he owns the Bar Mace.

The other one's Dutard, the local doctor.

Oh, she's one of the English girls

at the show at the Vieux Columbia.

Oh that's Canning,
the English tennis coach at Cap d'Antibes.

Uh-huh, you've checked
up with our London friend?

Oui, certainement.

There's nothing on him, nothing at all.

Well, the odds are shortening.

I'll still let him make the first move.

You should never play the single numbers.

It came up.

This time perhaps, but in the end,

oh thank you.

In the end you're bound to lose.

Don't we all, in the end?

Play red now.

All right, I'll see if you bring me luck.

Where have you been the past week?

I've been confined to the villa.

Doesn't A.J.A. Kent Esquire

ever leave that place?

Never.

It's been a week now,
if I hadn't seen you tonight

I was going to leave tomorrow.

You see, red has won.

Leave it.

Since you have seen me?

I'll stay on for a few more days.

It would be flattering
to think that you were

really staying for me.

What am I really staying on for then?

A reply to the notes you sent to Mr. Kent.

Doesn't look as though
I'm going to get one, does it?

You've won again.

Now stop.

Nope, tonight I'm in luck.

You're too reckless.

Have you any idea
what's in those notes?

No, my relationship with
Mr. Kent is not a business one.

You have lost.

Well, I had my fun.

Where are you taking me tonight?

Last time I took
you out my room was searched.

Well, let's go there then
and it can't happen again.

Yes, could be something in that.

Unfortunately tonight I have a--.

Had.

I have a job to do.

That St. Bernard up there.

Yes, Sir.

I want it.

I'm sorry, Sir, but it's not for sale.

Oh.

That's not for me, I hope.

Oh no, it's for a sick friend.

Take these dogs away!

Why do you keep them?

As long as they guard me
they don't have to like me.

No one can move with them around at night.

Oh.

What's that round his neck?

Ah.

Genicot will you take out the projector.

He's given us the hors d'oeuvre.

It really does seem as though
he has the whole formula.

Fantastic.

How did he get it?

I haven't the slightest idea.

What are you going to do?

Open negotiations.

You should have been wearing this

when you came to my gymnasium.

A black belt?

A little over-flattering, I'm afraid.

I don't think so.

Anyway a nice gesture.

As a matter of fact
I was expecting Martine.

Martine?

Oh, don't say that you don't know her.

Oh yes, I know her.

So Kent decided to send you instead.

No, nobody sent me.

What are you drinking?

No I'm all right, thanks.

Let me get you one.

No, no thank you.

So if nobody sent you,

this is what you might
call a social visit?

If you like.

My name is Alan, Alan Genicot.

Yes, I know.

Just as you know my name is Peter Symons.

Let's stop playing games, shall we?

Well if you finish your drink,

I could take you to a bar
that you might find

a little more interesting.

Do you happen to have a car outside?

Would you say that this would
be a good idea on my part?

I think so, yes.

All right.

This doesn't look like bar country to me.

You'd be surprised.

You speak very good English.

I lived in Los Angeles for two years.

Had a lot going for me,
but I missed the Cote.

What's your business?

I am a compulsive gambler.

You hang on here a minute,

I'll go and fetch Kent.

How do you do, Mr. Kent.

How do you do, Mr. Symons.

I presume you've seen this letter.

The one addressed to me, yes.

Contains your slide.

I'm returning it to you of course.

It's of no interest?

None whatsoever, I'm afraid.

Quite frankly I haven't the faintest idea

what it's all about.

Well, that's not quite true,

of course I can guess what's in it.

I'm just amazed
you should have sent it to me.

What possible use could
I have for a thing like that?

Then why did you have me
come and see you, Mr. Kent?

Your man could've
returned it, couldn't he?

I think it's hardly the sort
of thing to handle casually.

Get you into an enormous
amount of trouble.

I'm touched to find that
you are so solicitous.

You see, I'm a business man.

An exporter and importer.

There's no need to tell
me what you are, Mr. Kent.

Let us just say that I have made a mistake.

Yes, you have I'm afraid.

In that case there's no more to be said.

It's time I was moving along anyway.

No, no please sit down.

No need to dash away.

Would you care for a drink?

No, thank you.

I must admit I admire your
audacity, your enterprise,

your spirit of adventure.

Thanks so much, I only wish

that it had brought me some small profit.

Oh, have you been losing at the tables?

Let us say that the wheel
is not running in my direction

just at the moment.

But that is only temporary.

You have optimism too.

That's another good quality.

And now you're beginning
to make me feel virtuous.

I can see that it troubles
you so I won't go on.

Do you find Martine attractive?

Um, yes.

Good, then perhaps there's
something you could do for me.

That is if you're available.

I'll tell you if I'm
available if you tell me

what it is you want me to do.

You see this?

Difficult not to.

Martine wants to wear it at a party.

A party being given by Emilio
Pozza this coming Sunday.

I should hate her to lose
it or have it stolen.

Or perhaps you don't trust her.

Oh yes, yes I do.

Though temptation can be very strong.

I thought you might act as her escort.

What makes you think
that I won't be tempted?

Let's say I have an intuition about you.

Why don't you take her yourself?

I was badly wounded in the war.

I don't care to be put on display

to satisfy morbid curiosity.

Yes, of course.

Would you be so kind as to take her?

I've heard people say that Emilio Pozza

throws the best parties in Europe.

It's not normally a chore I accept.

But as it's for you, Mr. Kent,

and since I'd be taking Martine, then--

Mmm, you know this is
the first time in my life,

I've ever had too much caviar.

That's all right.

Wash away the flavor with champagne.

I'm not so sure that I've
not had too much of that also.

You can't have too much.

How would you like an
island like this one?

An island all to yourself?

If I had as many oil tankers as--

Pozza.

Pozza, I'd have at least a couple.

To be able to say I've had enough.

To be cut off entirely from people.

One could hardly say that we were

cut off from people here

Ah, but he has his choice.

He can be alone if he wants to.

He can be like Robinson Crusoe.

Robinson Crusoe.

Yes, he can walk
right around his island,

round and round and
never meet a living soul.

Not a living soul.

Oh, I think this
looks comfortable.

Oh, excuse me.

Does it

make you feel good wearing that necklace?

Oh, not particularly, not here.

But up there at the house
meeting all those people,

it made me feel very, very good.

Have some more champagne.

No, not now.

I think I feel like
my head is floating somewhere

above my body on a piece of string.

Oh yeah?

And if I cut the string,

you'd be lost, wouldn't you?

I should like that.

I could go on floating
up and never come back.

But like all cynical ladies
you're a romantic at heart.

Mm-hmm, and what
about cynical gentlemen?

Their hearts remain as hard as diamonds.

Stupid fool.

Did he frighten you?

Yes, he frightened me.

Come on, let's go down
to the beach somewhere

and find a place where there is no one.

All right, Robinson Crusoe,

I'm your man Friday.

I'll bring the supplies.

Follow me.

Into the unknown.

Why not?

Oops, you must allow me.

Shall we dance?

John?

John, where are you?

John!

Are you trying to frighten me?

No, I'm not trying to frighten you.

He tried to tear the
necklace from my throat.

He hurt me.

Give it to me.

What?

The necklace, give it to me.

You know that I can't--

Do you want me to take it?

You'll never get away with this.

What are you doing?

What do you think Kent is going to say?

Come on.

He hit Jean with
a champagne bottle and when Phillipe

came around he found Symons had left this.

Excellent, excellent,

he's even more intelligent than I thought.

I'm going to say it again, Mr. Kent.

I think he's too clever.

That's why you're going to
keep an eye on him, Genicot.

A very close eye.

Make friends with him.

I'll do that.

Get him, will you?

I want to settle things now.

You didn't send me to protect
Martine's paste necklace,

did you?

I said you didn't send me

to protect Martine's paste necklace.

And I heard you the first time.

I'd like an answer.

It doesn't amuse me to be set on

by a couple of third rate thugs.

The jewels are paste, huh?

You wouldn't be sitting
there smiling if they weren't.

Mr. Symons, I'm happy
to say you've shown both

toughness and intelligence.

Do I get a certificate?

You know exactly why I
asked you to go to the party

with Martine, don't you, Mr. Symons?

You wanted me to
prove myself an honest man.

Precisely.

A man of integrity.

I also wanted to prove that
you had the imagination

to see it was more profitable
to cooperate with me.

How'd you like to work for me?

No thanks, I'm doing all right on my own.

You'd do better with me.

You sure you could trust me?

Yes.

I'll back my judgment on
the evidence as it stands.

You see I've only survived this
business by being infallible

Anything short of infallibility

one ends up dead or in prison.

Either situation is unthinkable,
I'm sure you'll agree.

Of course.

Now, about F6.

10,000 pounds.

A considerable sum.

The market is up on yesterday.

I take it you are going to work for me.

I must say I'm impressed
by the way you go about things.

I'll pay you 20,000 American dollars.

25,000.

You can deliver today?

Not today, late tomorrow.

I don't keep it in my hotel room,

you should know that.

Yes, of course, we'll forget
about the past, shall we?

I'll buy the formula for 25,000

and you work solely for
me from then on, agreed?

Agreed.

You'll bring the
formula here tomorrow evening

at eight o'clock.

Will that give you enough time?

I can have it by then,

but, not here, Mr. Kent.

Why not?

To this fortress?

You could have it taken from me

and I'd be left without a sou.

And I'm hardly in a position

to go to the police, am I?

You're going to work for me,

why should I cheat you?

Well, I think perhaps

I ought to be allowed, let us say,

a certain initial cynicism.

What do you suggest?

How about my hotel.

I'll have the formula,

you bring along the 25,000,

and we can exchange
to our mutual satisfaction.

I'm not used to other people
imposing the conditions.

Perhaps you'd like to suggest
some other meeting place?

I'm sorry, old boy, no steak today.

No, your hotel will do.

I suppose I couldn't be wrong about you,

could I, Mr. Symons?

Well, there's only
one way you can find out,

isn't there, Mr. Kent?

You had no right
to call me to this meeting.

I'm working under
orders as well, you know.

No excuse for unnecessary risks.

Don't worry, anyone seeing us will think

I'm talking to Annette.

Hobbs instructed me to
contact you immediately.

The government are announcing

its new rocket development any day now.

Kent will know
that the F6 formula is obsolete.

So you'd better get a move
on before he finds out

you're trying to sell him a pup.

Everything's arranged.

He'll walk into the trap this
evening at eight o'clock.

My room at the Henri Quatre.

Oh good, Hobbs will
be pleased to hear that.

Make sure your men are well hidden

and don't spring the trap
until you're absolutely certain

the exchange has been made.

Don't worry, we'll nail
him with the goods on him.

You do that.

Now perhaps you wouldn't mind
going away to some other place

I am not mistaken,

I'd stake my life on it.

You must be mistaken.

No, that is the man who took Francois in.

I never forget that face, never, never.

I can't believe it.

You don't want to believe it.

Look, have I ever been
wrong about anyone before?

We're in trouble now, real trouble.

Be quiet.

We must go, we must get away from here.

We're not going to run away.

Now just let me think.

There's the simple premise.

We must kill Symons first.

Bonsoir.

Symons here.

This is Alex,

we're ready for the party.

Good, we'll hold it downstairs, shall we?

Right.

That must be him now.

Come in.

Hello, Martine.

I'm sorry I won't be able
to make it this evening.

I have an engagement.

Bonsoir, John.

Bonsoir.

What happened to Kent?

He could not raise the money in time.

He'll have it by tomorrow.

The arrangement holds good for
then, same time, same place.

Cheers.

Eat, drink, and be merry, for--

For tomorrow we shall die.

We shall die.

It's rather warm in here, isn't it?

Let's say we go out for
a breath of fresh air?

Why not?

Where shall we go?

My place?

You mean the fortress.

No, I mean my place.

Oh.

My apartment.

You're the first one to know about it.

I haven't had it long.

Became intolerable having
no place to call my own.

Don't you think that
Mr. Kent is bound to discover?

Car key.

Shall we go?

Mm-hmm.

I've never seen the moon so big.

Seems a pity not to appreciate it more.

Are you really dying for that next drink?

I like to drive fast.

I have a horror of growing old.

Don't you think you ought
to inquire if your passengers

share the same attitude?

Afraid?

Yes.

But, pleasurably so.

After that you will be glad to relax.

Oh, very pleasant.

Do you like it?

It's cosy, without being conservative.

Well, take off your jacket
and pour yourself something.

What would you like?

Surprise me.

Mr. Symons?

Yes.

I just wanted to make sure

that you have everything that you need.

Who is that?

The night manager.

That is Mr. Symons?

Yes.

You took the apartment
at such short notice,

that I'm afraid I have not had
the time to check everything personally.

Did they send up the drink
that you asked for?

Yes, it's quite all right,

no trouble at all.

Wrong number.

An Englishman trying to
reserve a sleeping compartment

on the blue train.

I don't think he'd have
too much luck in August.

Neither do I.

You know, this is the sort of apartment

I've always wanted.

You must see the view, it's fantastic.

It's the main reason I took the place.

You haven't poured the drinks.

Oh, I--

No, you go ahead and look at the view,

I'll bring them out to you.

All right.

You know there's only one
thing missing, Martine.

What's that?

A little nostalgic music.

Music?

Yes, of course, we must have some music.

You don't seem very familiar

with your own radiogram, Martine.

I never was mechanically-minded.

There are two moons out there.

One in the sky, and the other

sailing on the Mediterranean.

You're a strange man.

How's that?

Goes perfectly with the brandy.

You think I'm strange?

Yes, I never met a man with

such an icy surface before.

I find it fascinating.

Shall we drink to that?

And now shall we go and see how

the two moons are getting on?

Okay.

Where do you come from, John?

Ireland, but it's a
long time since I was there.

Why don't we travel together for a while?

I can't think of anyone
I'd rather travel with.

It's high up here, isn't it?

Ought to be careful to
not take one too many

and topple over, eh?

So, where shall we begin?

South America, Chile?

There's just one thing, Martine.

Oh, what's that?

Money.

There's your deal with Kent.

I thought perhaps that was off.

What's the matter?

What's that thing out there?

Plane or a star?

No, that's a plane,

there aren't any stars as big as that.

John?

Yes.

You missed your vocation.

Should've been an actress.

Martine?

Martine?

What are you doing here?

I was just going to ask
you the same question.

What is,

what is Mr. Kent going
to say when he finds out

that you are Martine's little friend?

Where is she?

Gentlemen shouldn't ask such questions.

Gentlemen should just go away.

You don't know how
to behave yourself, Genicot.

I don't think you're in
a position to talk about

my behavior.

Birds of a feather should flock together.

Yes, yes, that's quite right.

We really can't afford to be
jealous of each other, can we?

Your glass is empty.

I'll get you another drink.

We'll just have a nightcap together.

I'll drive you back to your hotel.

I'll get myself back.

How'd you get here?

We drove, from Cannes.

In Martine's car?

She never told me about you.

She did not tell me about you either.

Why don't you come out
here, get some fresh air?

That's what I need.

That's right.

If you look out there you'll see two moons.

Ah, how many do you see, four?

You think I'm drunk, don't you, Genicot?

I'll tell you what.

I'll make a little bet with you.

Knowing I'm a gambling man.

Knowing you're a gambling man.

What's the bet?

I bet you 100 new francs,
you can't go and get your drink

and bring it back here to me.

Make it two.

A thousand if you like.

A thousand?

I'll get it for a thousand if you like.

A thousand francs.

A thousand!

Go ahead, what are you waiting for?

Concentrating.

Well, if you don't take my bet--

No, all right, all right.

Nothing to it, Genicot.

No, no!

Symons takes apartment,

Symons falls off balcony drunk.

No!

Mr. Kent, police are on their way up.

Ah, tell Michael to pick
me up on the back road

in exactly two minutes.

Get away!

Good dog.

There, there.

The dog is a man's best friend.

What are you doing here, Symons?

It's no good, Kent.

Your little boy Genicot
spilled the beans, I'm afraid.

Someday--

Yes, about 5,764 of them I think.

Martine?

Martine?

Peter, it's you.

Is it late?

Too late, I'm afraid.

Time to go.

Go?

Go where?