Screen Two (1985–2002): Season 14, Episode 3 - Loving - full transcript

[ominous music]

[bomb shells exploding]

[bells ringing]

[plane engines roaring]

[soft music]

[birds chirping]

Agatha's here, Mr. Eldon.

Aggie's here.

Ellen.

Ellen.

And there's another thing.



Mrs. T.

She still calls me Arthur,
but that'll have to change.

I'll be Raunce to her
and Mr. Raunce to you.

Do you hear?

He ain't dead yet.

No, he ain't far off.

You don't wanna let a
little thing like that

worry your guts.

A spot of John Barleycorn
is what you're in need of.

If you like, I'll sit
by him for a spell

while you go get
a breath of air.

Well, I might.

That's the idea, Ms. Burch.

It'll fetch your mind off.



Very good.

I shan't be far.

You'll call me now if he
came in for a bad spell.

Oh, I'll be straight after you.

Come on, Bert. Look snippy.

Wet glasses? Where
was you brought up?

That reminds me.

Did you ever notice
where the old man keeps

that black notebook of his?

What do you mean?
I never touched it.

Don't talk daft. I never
said you did, did I?

But he wouldn't trouble to
watch himself in front of you.

Time's of the mind,
you must have seen it.

I never.

So you never, hey?
You never what?

Don't talk so sloppy.

All right, you never seen it.

That's all I wanted.

Hello, there.

Why, you gave me a jump.

You can take that
off for a start

before they set eyes on you.

What's this?

Eggs? What for?

You won't tell?

Well, you let me have
Mrs. T's glove back,

I'll have to slap it
on a silver solver

and take it up to her sometime.

Yes, Mr. Raunce.

Ooh, Mr. Raunce, is it now?

Come to father, beautiful.

Not me.

What's the matter
with you these days?

Fed up? I shouldn't wonder?

Well, if you don't want
to, I'm not one to insist,

but with those eyes you
ought to be in the pictures.

[Eldon snoring]

Holy Moses, 10 to three
and me not on my bed.

It's me siesta.

What about Ms. Burch?

Should I call her?

* That cat is high *

* Look at that look in his eye *

* On man he's high *

* Yes, higher than a kite *

* That cat is high *

* Look at that look in his eye *

* Man, I wouldn't lie *

* The cat's higher than a kite *

* Now when you see
him stumblin' *

* Up and down the street *

* You know that
cat's been drinkin' *

* Got no shoes upon his feet *

* Man he's high *

* I said that cat is high *

* Yes he's high *

* Man he's higher than a kite *

* That cat is high *

* Look at that look in his eye *

* Man, I wouldn't lie *

* That cat's higher
than a kite *

[children giggling]

Edith.

Oh, isn't that nice?

Are those for the
grave, Ms. Moira?

[bell tolling]

Come along.

Poor Natalie.

Yes, Arthur.

What is it?

I'm sure I would
not want to cause

any inconvenience, madam,

but I desire to
give in my notice.

What?

Just when I'm like this, when
this has happened to Eldon?

The place won't be
the same without him.

I dare say not.

But I simply can't
run to another butler.

Things are not what they
used to be on there.

I'm sure I've always tried

to give every
satisfaction, madam.

Is Nanny all right,
do you think, Violet?

Oh, I should think so.

Very well then.

I suppose we should
have to call you Raunce.

Oh, thank you, madam.

Mind.

I said nothing about more wages.

I feel we should
all hang together

in these detestable times.

With my boy away at war.

Indeed, madam.

We are rarely an enemy
country here, you know?

One as any to remember what
they got up to in the last war.

So, I don't want to hear any
more nonsense about leaving.

You know we rely on you.

Thank you, madam.

Oh, and Arthur.

Have you come across a
gardening glove of mine?

One of a pair I brought
back from London.

No, madam.

I'll make inquiries.

[playful music]

[girls laugh]

I heard no one venture
a pleasantry, Kate.

I thought I heard Paddy
crack one of his jokes.

When I first come
here, Mrs. T says,

"The footman has always
been called Arthur.

Every Tom, Percy, Harry,
all called Arthur."

[girls giggle]

So Arthur I was.

Nevermind, me name's Charlie.

Now, it's Raunce to her,

and it will be Mr.
Raunce to you, lot.

Thanking you.

You will never get
a mister out of me.

Not ever, even if
there is a war on.

[birds chirping]

[Mrs. Tennant] When
exactly does Jack expect

to be on leave?

Anytime after the second
week in May, he said.

You won't mind me coming
over to London with you?

Of course not.

Jack is expecting
you, oh dear boy.

But I'll make sure to
keep well out of your way.

I do feel for your generation.

You've seen so little of each
other with this beastly war.

Oh, Badger, you are so dumb.

Oh, by the way, did I mention?

Cook's nephew is
coming over to stay.

Yes, but have you
broken it to Nanny?

No, darling.

To tell the truth, I didn't...

Tell you what, why
don't we tell her

it's cook's illegitimate?

Oh, Violet.

You are so naughty.

Then we'd have to find another
cook and another Nanny.

It's quite bad without about
having them die on one.

I don't think I care what
they do, so long as they stay.

[dogs barking]

[Agatha] So this is Albert.

Yes, this is Albert.

Stand up when you're spoken of.

This is Ms. Burch,
the housekeeper.

Come to think of it,
you get out of here

and go and play with them
precious little ladies.

That's what you're here for.

Now, don't you go
getting into any trouble.

True rabble, my word.

Mary, Ms. Burch will
have a cup of tea.

Yes, ma'am.

He's thin, Mrs. Welch.

He'll take some feeding.

[Mrs. Welch laughs]

-[Albert wailing]
-[gentle music]

[girls giggling]

Children!

[peacocks squawking]

Tell you what, I should pop off

her little head
off, for loss, yeah?

[girls screaming]

[soft music]

Holy smokes.

If we was to creep upstairs
and find those two slaves

and Ms. Burch laid out
on their little beds,

what would you do, hey?

After cleaning your
teeth, of course.

You should always
clean your teeth

before ever you have
anything to do with a woman.

You wouldn't dare.

Wouldn't dare? [chuckles]

Who do you take me for?

What about that
little French one

that was here before Edith?

Let me tell you.

There was many an
occasion I went up

to mademoiselle's boudoir

to give her a long bonjour

before she went
off back to France.

Go on.

Don't give me no go on.

I don't know. That's different.

What do you mean
that's different?

They're all the
same, aren't they?

What are you getting
at talking so soft?

Why did you ask me then?

Do you want me to fetch you one?

Would you provoke
me to strike you?

No.

And don't attempt
your impudence again.

Goodnight, Mr. Raunce.

Well, it's all right then.

Don't pay attention to uncle,

at least not on every occasion.

Whatever you're doing
with them eggs, Edie?

I'm preserving them in a drop

of old Welch's water
glass for my complexion.

Oh, you're never gonna
smear that dirtiness

on your face and neck.

I am not?

Them eggs have got be lifted

when there's not
a soul to witness.

And there must be peacocks.

What if you come
out in spots then

like they got stuck
on their tails?

It's like a charm, silly.

Like crossing a Gypsy's
palm with silver.

Well, lose it for then, Edie.

Now you're asking.

[Edith giggles]

What you would you
have said, Edie

if Charlie had been in
here waiting for us?

[both laughing]

Oh, for land's sake,
ever mind to the crowing.

But what if he had been, Edie?

Why, I don't even look at
the man with his queer eyes.

Charlie wants us
and shoved his head

into the air these
three years, it must be.

Wrong side a
window, he calls it.

I will be going
over those documents

with Mrs. Jack.

If you don't take good care,

I'll go over you and down on you

in all sorts of places
you wouldn't think.

[both laughing]

Tell you what, you never
have to ask me twice.

Not the way I am these days.

Kate, you are dreadful.

[peacocks squawking]

Okay, them birds.

[peacocks squawking]

It's those two again.

What two?

Mrs. Jack and that
Captain Davenport, look.

[peacocks squawking]

But won't the children
be disappointed?

They was counting on their
mother taking them out.

Poor little loves.

[gentle music]

A fiver?

[whistles]

[peacocks squawking]

[Nanny] Ms. Moira.

Ms. Evelyn.

Teatime.

[Evelyn] Coming, Nanny.

[peacock squawking]

There is above a quart
of my water glass

gone without trace, Mr. Raunce.

The place won't
ever be the same.

Not since Mr. Eldon left us.

I said it over his open grave

and I don't care who hears
me say it this minute.

Whatever induced you
to take that stuffing.

I never took nothing.

Come on, tell uncle.

What?

You still got your old mom
and sis over in London?

Yes, Mr. Raunce.

Well, then why make a mystery?

They're on the brink of
starvation over there

by all accounts.

So you thought you'd
send an egg or two along

in some of old
Welch's water glass.

Gold strove. I did
not, Mr. Raunce.

I couldn't even name
what that glass is for.

On my oath.

I don't bloody know.

Okay, okay. What's
all the excitement?

Just remember.

There's a war on
over the other side.

You don't want
none of it, do you?

Because a word from me
to Mrs. T, just one word,

and it's the army for you, mate?

Old king and country
and all the rest.

Do you understand?

Yes, sir.

And don't call me, "Sir."

Give me a mister when you
address me, that's all I ask.

Right, hop to it.

[gentle music]

[girls giggling]

[gentle music intensifies]

[girls giggling]

All right!

It's none of my
business, I know.

Only that one of
them might hear you.

What I came to tell you, girlies

was I found out about
the water glass.

It's my lad been
an [indistinct].

Albert.

Did he say?

Not likely.

But it's as plain as
a nose in my face.

Well, who'd had thought it, hey?

Bert.

And ever since Mrs. Welch
barged in like that at tea,

and I thought, well,
you don't know.

Maybe these girls would
take what she said wrong.

Think it was directed at them.

Especially Edith here,

with her talk of being fed up.

Well, thank you very much.

The cup didn't fit. We
never took no notice.

Which reminds me.

You still haven't given back
that old glove of Mrs. T's.

For land's sake, there
she goes colouring again.

She should go and give one
of them blood transfusions

they're asking volunteers for.

She's got too much.

Wait a minute.

I just remembered something.

Them eggs you...

Well, I do believe I'd done
my lad a real injustice.

I reckon there's
someone else should get

the rough side of my tongue.

[soft music]

Oh, forget it.

Best be off.

Busy Charlie, they call me.

She's mislaid her
big sapphire cluster.

Oh, I'm sure I've
looked everywhere,

and it's such a beautiful ring.

Mary, fetch a cup
of tea to Ms. Burch.

[Mary] Yes, ma'am.

That is nothing compared
with what my Albert's done.

I hadn't turned me
back not two minutes

'fore I heard this squawking.

Throttled it with his
bare hands, he did.

You won't mind 48 hours
alone, will you, darling?

Because if you did, I could
still put Hermione off.

[Violet] Don't bother
about little me.

I should be all right.

Are you sure?

Frankly, I can't wait
to get away for a bit.

The servants are being
so truly beastly.

Do you know, I haven't
had a word of sympathy

from one of them about
my lovely cluster ring?

Darling, it's a shame.

I knew it's an absurd
thing to expect,

but Eldon with all his faults

always had a word of comfort
when there was a disaster.

Oh, look at my hat.

Now, don't forget.

10 o'clock from Dan
Leary Monday evening

and I'll be at
Euston to meet you.

Oh, do let's try and give
that dear boy a good time.

But then I know Jack
can rely on you.

No tears, no fuss.

I don't know how your
generation bears it.

Now, you must let me.

I just wanted to say this
once, if I never say it again.

Violet, dear, I think
you're perfectly wonderful,

and Jack is a very lucky man.

You think I ought to
bind up to Mr. Raunce

about the water glasses, hey?

He guessed anyway.

It was all over your face.

Mr. Eldon would have
dismissed you for less.

Yes, well, Mr.
Raunce is different.

Telling me he's different.

You think I'm after him
when he's something to you.

-Isn't that right?
-Charlie Raunce?

I'd sooner be dead.

I bet you'd sooner be dead.

He's nothing to me.

All right, then.

I'll loan you something.

I love Charlie Raunce.

I love him, I love
him. So there.

Well, I could open the veins
of my right arm for that man.

[car honking]

[gentle music]

* Why do you whisper
green grass *

* Why tell the trees
what ain't so *

* Whispering grass, the
trees don't have to know *

* No, no *

* Why tell them
all your secrets *

* Who kissed there long ago *

* Whispering grass, the
trees don't need to know *

* Don't you tell
it to the breeze *

* 'cause she will tell
the birds and bees *

* And everyone will know *

* Because you told
the blabbering trees *

* Yes, you told
them once before *

* It's no secret any more *

* Why tell them all
the old things *

* They're buried
under the snow *

* Whispering grass,
don't tell the trees *

* 'Cause the trees
don't need to know *

* Now, don't you tell
it to the trees, *

* 'cause she'll run and tell
it to the birds and bees *

* And everyone'll know *

* Because you done told
the blabbering trees *

* Yes you did, you
told 'em once before *

* So that's why it ain't
no secret anymore *

* Why tell them all
the old things *

* They're buried
under the snow *

* Whispering grass,
don't tell the trees *

* 'cause the trees
don't need to know *

Oh, Edith, it's you.

It's quite all right.

I'll call later.

Why, whatever is it?

In there.

A man!

God save us!

A man?

Poor Nanny.

There he was, he's in
there and as large as life.

You could've knocked
me down with a leaf.

A what?

A man.

A IRA man.

Captain Davenport.

In your young lady's bed?

Sh!

Oh!

Oh, the punch cousin.

When she comes out, she says,

"Why is putting his
show? Let him go."

[both screaming]

"Go save her," she says.

[both screaming]

Well Charlie, isn't
this one okay?

And happened to me
after all these years.

I wouldn't pay any attention

to this mess up, if I was you.

What do you mean
pay no attention?

You mean you're gonna
make nothing of it

just 'cause I found 'em?

Right at bed, they was.
Next to one another.

So stuff that in your smelly
old pipe and smoke it.

What they see fit to
do is no concern of us.

You're gonna try and
take it away from me.

Honey, I wouldn't
go and talk, see?

Or you'll likely
lose your place?

Eldon was onto the captain
and your young lady

and look where it got him.

Was he carrying his lousy on?

Well, without any references,

you mark what I say.

And there's a national
bloody service officer

waiting for you
over the other side.

Don't you swear at
me of all people.

There's someone got
to take her tray up.

Oh, I couldn't.

I'd spill it on the bed.

There'll need to
be two trays now.

There will not.

The other party left
the castle first thing

by pedal bicycle.

The captain?

I see him when I
was doing the brass.

Which room did he occupy?

[Charlie] No, you may ask, boy.

I'm surprised at
you, Mr. Raunce.

Did you should write a
mystery out of nothing?

Listen Albert, the captain,

he spent the night in my
lady's bed and she was nude.

I saw her sitting up with
her fronts bobbling at me

like geese on water, only they
overslept the two of them,

as I know from when I
went to open the room.

And don't you let anyone
tell you any different,

'cause it was me found them
and told Aggie Burch, so there.

-Thank you, my girl-
-[Paddy laughs]

Now look what you've done.

[all laughing]

What?

My best funny.

When they brought up from
Reginald's [indistinct]

the sweet love.

Oh, night.

I didn't stay in bed.

Oh dear! Poor Nanny.

I'm going over to England
by the night boat, Edith.

Today, madam?

Yes, today.

Not the day after
tomorrow any longer.

I've changed my plans.

Would you ask Nanny
to come and see me?

I'm afraid Nanny's
taken to her bed, madam.

[gentle music]

* Do I worry *

* 'cause you're stepping out *

* Do I worry, 'cause
you've got me in doubt *

* Though your kisses
aren't right *

* Do I give a bag of beans *

* Do I stay home every night *

* And read my magazines *

* Am I frantic *

* 'cause we've lost the spark *

* Is there panic *

Come On, ducks. I'll race ya.

-* When it starts turning dark *
-One, two, three, go.

* And when evening
shadows creep *

* Do I lose any sleep over you *

Dear mother, I
hope you are well.

I'm very worried for you

with this terrible bombing.

Have you got to the
Anderson shelter yet?

Get it done now, mother dear

and it would be
something off me mind.

I'm very perplexed at
what is best to do.

Whether to come over or stay.

Once I should leave this
country, this labour exchange

and then the army waiting.

* Do I worry *

* You can bet your life I do *

What this whole dump
needs is a good scrub out,

and you are too
Irish to give it.

Here, take a load of
yourself while I do ya.

Oh, my Lord knows this
is good labour wasted.

Cross, what we girls
have to put up with.

No, you don't. I'm not one of
your Irish Judies, you know?

And what's more, if you can't
sit there quiet as gold,

I'll get me gone.

Berty.

[girls giggling]

Bert.

Might be me.

Bert.

[Both] Kiss her, kiss her.

Kiss her.

Well, come on then.

Oh, crikey.

Playing with the girls, hey?

You lay off, Edith,
you understand?

You can muck about with Kate,
but Edith's closed season.

Get me?

Yes, Mr. Raunce.

[kids giggling]

Hang on. I gotta sit me down.

You've got to sit down?

I'm come over queer.

Oh God, you're never gonna
fight in the army, are you?

This coming out in
the air has done it.

Out.

Wrong side of the
window, I call it.

[soft music]

You should take more care.

Charlie.

[gentle music]

Come on, you little tyke.

-Go. Go.
-[phone ringing]

Hello?

Yeah.

Yeah.

-Are you in a draught?
-Yeah, I've got that. Yeah.

You don't wanna take risk.

There is a draught.

There's a draught in
every corner of this room,

which is a danger to sit in.

Well, come on. Come on.

It was a wire for you.

Not returning for a few days.

Tennant, Mr. Raunce.

Stayin' on for a few days, hey?

Leaving us to face the music.

You consider there's
something likely to happen?

Well, there's a war
on, isn't there?

And with them gone, it's yours
truly what's responsible.

Left all on our own.

How do you like that?

If a Jerry was to come over

he'd go hard on a young
girl, and make no mistake.

Mercy on us!

You don't want to
talk like that.

You think of nothing but
men, there's the trouble.

Though if it did happen,

it would naturally be the
same for the older women.

They're famished like a
lion out of the desert,

these fighting men.

For land's sake.

Two pins, I don't
demand my notice.

Well, if it ever did come to it,

there's guns and
ammo in the gun room.

Why, whatever's come over you.

You were never thinking
you could knock down

one of them, mark
something tanks

like you could a rabbit
with one of those shotguns

they keep locked up here.

What I had in mind was a
cartridge each for you ladies.

If the Jerries did come over,

wouldn't the IRA see to
them, for the love of Lord.

What did he say?

He said the IRA'd
see to the Jerries.

Oh yes.

What with? Bows and arrows?

Holy smokes, you'll be getting
me annoyed in a minute.

The IRA would never
see to the Jerries.

They'd give them a helping hand.

Don't they wanna see
every last man jack of us

out of here, by
fair means or foul?

Well, you've only gotta
go down into Kinalty,

see for yourself, with every
other house burned right out.

[Paddy laughs]

Laugh. You would, would you?

You've a bloody nerve!

Excuse me.

I seem to have forgotten myself.

Well, I know what I'd say

if one of those dirty Germans
offered me an impoliteness.

Now, look my girl, it's
not only a question of one,

but a whole company, get me?

I'll go get me out of here.

Well, go on then, go.

There's nothing and
nobody to stop you.

Only as soon as you step off
the boat, the army gets you.

So if I was you, I'd
forget all about it.

Terrible, that's what
this whole place is.

And disgusting!

Ms. Burch!

Thank you very much,
that'd be quite lovely.

One minute you say the
Jerries are coming over,

and the next, you
won't have a body

try and get over while
there's still time.

All right.

All right, all right.

I don't want you to go, do I?

Don't you, Charlie?

No.

You're better down here.

Do you want to come
and sit in my room?

Quite a little?

What'd you take me for?

Come on. Give us a kiss.

[Edith sobs]

Now, girlie...

The trouble with you is you
take everything so dead serious.

And how do you view things
to the matter of that?

I take things to heart.

Do you, Charlie?

Yeah.

When I feel whatever it
is I feel, I feel it deep.

I'm not like some.

I found the ring, Charlie.

What ring?

Why, Mrs. T's.

She's always losing valuables.

I wonder if she gets
'em back so often.

Well...

Suppose she didn't get
this old ring back?

You're easy, huh?

Knock it off, you mean?

Yeah. Keep it.

You wanna go steady
with suggestions

like the one you just
put forward, see?

What would you do with it then?

I'd sell it and save the
money for a rainy day.

You're crazy, you are.

I'm crazy, am I?

Right, then I act like I was.

Now look what you've done.

Only cleaning that will.

Give me here.

And the minute Mrs. T
returns, you go up to her

and say you came by it when
you were doing her room out.

I just thought you'd have a
better use for it than that.

I don't follow you.

What do you keep writing
in that notebook for then?

I have to make up my accounts

what I have to give to
Mrs. Tennant each month.

Oh, yeah?

Now, listen, I'm not making out

that I can be accurate
under the last cork.

You're telling me.

But look, honey, you've
got no sense of proportion.

If I put me a few shillings
by tweak fiddling the books,

that don't mean I can go
knocking off the valuables.

That's dangerous. That is.

You'd gum up the old works.

It's you I'm concerned for.

So, how much is it
you put by then?

Oh, I don't know, love.

Maybe there's two or 300
a year in it, all told.

Pounds?

Lovely British Bradbury's.

Oh, Charlie. You are smart.

All I know is what I'm
on to is steady ducks.

Get me?

And it's secure.

It'll be all right till
they found you out.

Nobody ever found
out Charlie Raunce.

Lucky Charlie, they call me.

Where are we going?

Did you ever notice
this place, Edie?

Well, I can't say I've
ever looked it over,

if that's what you're after.

Why, Charlie?

It's empty, that's why.

The married butlers
used to live here once.

I thought I'd get me old
mother over after the bombers.

Well, I can see you're
onto a good thing here.

But what reason have
I got to remain?

I'd thank you to tell me that.

I've got my life still to live.

Not that many have had
the best part of theirs.

[soft music]

Look dear, I could fall
for you in a big way.

For that matter, I already have.

I bet you say that
to them all, Charlie.

[soft music intensifies]

Look, so we took a man along.

You'll spoil your indoors suit.

You do look a sight, gotta
let you go into a park.

[waves crashing]

[Bert] I've got a sister.

What's that?

I've got a sister.

Works in the aeroplane factory.

They're terrible, the
hours she puts in.

I've only her or mom left now.

Say daddy died.

Mom fought too
'fore I came here.

He was a [indistinct]
in Albany Place.

It was cancer took him.

I don't never
receive no letters.

But I write every week.

See, with dad gone now,

I feel responsible.

And not that I don't
send the best part

of me wages each week, I do.

But I do wonder,
what's the right thing?

Should I go over, or...

I thought maybe you
would advise me.

I should stay put.

I mean, you're learning
a trade after all.

We're all right.

* Oh, me oh my *

Isn't it so for a picnic?

Here.

Let's see if we can't
get old Kate going.

Paddy.

[Edith laughs]

Paddy.

Well, ain't you a pretty pair?

Not as comical as
you do, believe me.

Now what have I done?

Can't a girl even take a nap?

It was only the name
you brought out, love.

Well, you're a fun one to talk.

You two laying there
in each other's arms.

Surely you don't
imagine our relationship

going all mushy?

A kid like that?

But, live and let live.

That's what I always say.

[Reporter] German U-boats
operating in waters

off the Irish coast,
suffered a severe blow today

when an enemy supply
vessel was blown up

by our day raiding Blenheims.

The continuing neutrality
of the Irish state

has been sharply criticised

in a note to the Irish
president, Mr. De Valera.

Mother never wanted
me to go into service.

Like she could never envisage

what a good thing
we'd be onto here.

Live alongside quality and
you pickup a thing or two.

That's what I always maintain.

Sugar?

This is the life.

Hey?

Edie, what about you
and me getting married?

There, I've said it.

That what I'm thinking
over, Charlie.

There's none of
this love nonsense.

It's logical, dear. That's what.

Like we said, we could
have the gatehouse.

Me old mom could come
over out of harm's way.

Quite right too.

I've always said a
wife should make a home

for a man's mother.

Then you don't say no?

I haven't said yes yet, have I?

No, that's right.

I'm not saying one way
or the other, Charlie.

But it's not no for a start.

No, I don't say I couldn't.

What's more, where there's
a ring for the engagement.

Oh, let me on you
brief for a minute.

That's funny.

It can't have.

It's gone.

-What's gone?
-Mrs. T's ring.

I thought you was
returning that object

to old Aggie Burch.

Well, I didn't. I put it
in here for safe keeping.

Well, give it here.

It can't have gone missing.

I don't know about
can't have, it has.

Well, you're right.
There's nothing there.

Yeah, a ring wouldn't
have wings now, would it?

Well, don't look at me, love.

Edie, If you think I took that,

you must consider me worse

than the lowest
thing which crawls.

You should never have took
it in the first place.

[Edith whimpering]

Oh, baby.

It's you I'm concerned about.

Hey.

[soft music]

[dog whimpering]

[Charlie gasps]

Badger, you don't even worry.

He got there.

You get off my premises.

What have you got there?

It's only one of them peacocks?

Mrs. Welch buried it away
after Albert up and killed it.

No, you're having me on.

There'll be murder over this.

Hey, be off, you bad dog.

Mrs. Welch, hey?

-Come on.
-[gentle music]

Now, you two girls are
gonna have to swear an oath

that you ain't never gonna tell.

Right?

[gentle music]

I'll tell you what, young lady.

I'll wager you a sixpence you
can never tell my business.

It's Mr. Raunce you want.

No, I'm not selling anything.

I'm an inquiry agent.

What?

Yes, I thought that
would surprise you.

I just had a tooth out.

I come down when
they claim a loss.

Oh.

[bell tolling]

Oh, we can't have
this, I'm afraid, sir.

I'm sure Mrs. Tennant would
not wish for questions asked.

That's precisely why I
was sent to question.

It's about the ring?

What ring?

Well, that's strange.

None of you seem
to know anything.

And what's strange about that?

Who might you be for a start?

Oh, you're the butler.

What's that got to do with you?

It's you we're talking
about. Who are you?

He's come about the insurance.

Nobody asked you. You
don't know nothing dear.

I never insinuated this
young lady knew anything.

In what?

Inferred.

And don't try and
get smart with me.

Will you answer a fair question?

Well, I don't know
before you ask me, do I?

Oh, so you won't answer?

I never said that.

What are you trying?
To trap someone?

Well, get this then.

I don't know nothing.

And I'm not saying nothing

without Mrs. Tennant
gives permission.

So now, have you
got that straight?

A ring has been missed.

A very valuable
sapphire cluster.

My company has been
called on to disburse.

I've come down to investigate.

I've driven 100 miles.

Now, do you understand?

Okay. So now, will
you're tell me something?

What's all this
got to do with me?

I'm asking you. That's all.

I've got it.

You what?

Now we're getting
places, me lad.

You've got it.

Well, come on then.

There's nothing to be afraid of.

Where have you got what?

He's got an idea, he means.

And who might you be, come
and scaring honest folk

that earn living?

You get off out.

If I was a man, I'd show
him off the premises.

Well, that's an idea.

But what idea does
this young chap have?

Hey.

Now then...

Planting words in
other people's mouths

and making out it was evidence?

[Man] All right, I'm off.

Well, get this.

We're not paying.

So, you've got it, hey?

You've got what?

I got it. Yeah, I've got it.

Where is it then?

Where is it?

Stop, Charlie.
He's never had it.

Well, he might've.

He's capable of
anything, that lad is.

And don't start
your snivelling now.

My God! What an afternoon!

He done what I did for me.

The inspector was making an eye.

Thanks.

Did you see what he done?

[indistinct yelling]

I'll say this.

You will regret ever
having a kid like that

falling in love over you.

Well, I'm crossing over to
the other side to enlist.

To enlist, huh?

Enlist in what,
would you oblige me?

I'm gonna be an air gunner.

An air gunner, hey? [laughs]

you're not even at
a bloody age, boy.

[Edith] He's 18.

18, he's never 18.

He's 18, the same as me.

And that was his
birthday the other week.

All right. Nevermind
how old he is.

That is the most dangerous
of all bloody jobs.

He'll get himself killed.

Look son, no one is saying
you stole a blinking ring.

And it did your art credit
to speak up when you did,

but you will get yourself
killed, that's what!

Listen, Bert.

What about your mom, Bert?

My sister'll look after her.

I've gotta get out of here.

I need to go and fight.

Oh!

This war!

Gold's truth.

Now look what you've done.

You've now fought
for other people.

That's your trouble.

[gentle music]

Bloody...

[phone ringing]

A fine mess for Mrs.
T to come home to.

Her ring not found.

Old Nanny in bed, and my
lad gone off his head.

[playful music]

[doorbell ringing]

I am sorry, madam.

I had no idea the
boat would punctual.

But why the locked door, Arthur?

I mean, Raunce?

We had an unwelcome
visitor, madam.

Is nobody even going
to say good morning?

I'm sure you don't
mean to be unfriendly,

but when one comes home, one
does expect a little something.

Eldon, when he was alive,
always had a word of welcome.

All I can say is, madam,
thank God you're back.

I suppose that means
you've all been

at one another's throats again.

Are the children well, Edith?

Yes, madam.

Now, what is all this
unwelcome visitor business?

Someone came to inquire

whether we'd come
across your ring, madam.

Well, have you?

No, madam. We haven't,
and that's a fact.

Very well then.

Where are my peacocks?

Paddy has locked them
up in their quarters.

Then tell him to unlock them.

I have a right to see
them, I should hope.

And ask Ms. Burch to
unpack, would you?

I regret to inform you

that Ms. Burch is
indisposed, madam.

Ms. Burch is never indisposed.

I'm afraid she's rather
taken this business to heart.

And Ms. Swift is no better.

You're surely not telling me
everyone has gone down sick

because an insurance
inspector called?

Well, this was not exactly a
pleasant experience, madam.

More like the third degree.

Oh, really?

I'm sorry to tell
you but he said

the company would
not meet the claim.

Not meet the claim?

Really, Raunce?

This is too detestable.

Are you sure?

Yes, madam.

Raunce, may I ask you something?

Yes, madam.

Don't madam me quite so much.

Put in one now and
again for politeness,

but repeating a
thing over and over

rather seems to take away
the value, do you see?

Very good, madam.

[Mrs. Tennant] Go on.

Well, the first
thing anyone knew

whilst this individual
was making these inquiries

was my lad Albert upped
and said he had it.

Though I know for a fact he
never set eyes on the ring.

It was only that he just
completely lost his head, madam.

I was astounded that
this investigator Johnny

put my lad right
off his balance.

-Oh.
-[gentle music]

[Mrs. Welch gags]

[children chattering]

Go to the main, I warn ya!

See, I wanna kill ya.

Come on. Get out.

[gentle music]

What's this, darling?

Tears.

Come on.

Oh, uppsy daisy.

You've landed me in trouble.

What have you been up to?

We've been with Albert.

That's no secret.

It was.

Go ahead then.

One secret for another.

You already have
said a proposal,

only we've got no ring.

[soft music]

Come on, Ms. Moira.

You say what you've
been in and I'm off.

I love him.

[soft music]

Well, all I can say is if her
own grandchildren took it,

the little thieves,

I don't see what
she can say to us.

For two pins, I
throw this place up.

I would.

And one reason is, I've got a
feeling I'm not appreciated.

My work, I mean.

It's your lad going
off has upset you.

Coming on top of
everything else.

Yeah, well it's given
me a turn, isn't it?

To think of my Bert being
old enough to enlist.

He was like a son to me, he was.

Mind you, he's probably gone off

to get himself killed out of
spite, I shouldn't wonder.

Who would have guessed

the bloodless abortion
had the guts in him?

He just gone off to fight
for the old country.

I could agree with the lad.

You're not thinking
of crossing over

the other side, are you?

I don't know what I'm after.

Thanks. I'm sure.

I can't seem to express myself,

but well, we're out
of it over here.

It's like we're
riding ourselves away.

Do you get me?

It's too bloody neutral,
this country is.

Look.

What do you say
to that, Charlie?

It's wicked, that's all.

No more than what it was
with mademoiselle, I suppose.

How do you mean, Edie?

There's many a time I
gave her a long bonjour-

-I never-
-There's semen all over.

That two penny worth
of French sweat rag?

Now you're being
disgusting, dear.

I can't make you out, love

I know you.

No, you stop there.

I'm going to punish you.

Go on.

How do I look?

You'd appear like a bloody tart.

I told you, don't swear at me.

Honest.

You got me going, so I'm anyhow.

So you should be, dear.

Women are a mystery.

Oh, Edie.

[both heaving]

Oh, Edie.

I do love you so.

Of course you do.

[soft knocking]

Hello, Ms. Moira.

Are you come about our secret?

Come.

You can tell it in
front of Mr. Raunce.

Tell me, dear.

I got it.

You got what, darling?

Your wedding present, of course.

But from me, not from
Evelyn or Albert.

It's my special present.

[Edith chuckles]

Isn't that kind?

When can I see it?

Oh my Christ!

Ms. Moira, you take that ring

and you put that back where you-

No!

What is it, darling?

Do you cry?

[Edith sniffles]

Mr. Raunce meets our
hearts in a blue one.

Then why ever didn't you say?

I won't be a minute.

No, Ms. Moira.

Ms. Moira.

Ms. Moira.

You'll never let your
grandma catch sight of you.

Well, she's about this minute.

You do fast so.

And you'll let me
have my blue one?

Don't be so terribly impatient.

It's great to stiff anyone even
if it is a wedding present.

Oh my Christ!

Before we're much older,

we'll be caught with all
their bloody jewellery

in this room, red-handed.

Should I have Raunce in and
get to the bottom of things?

Not if I were you.

I'd let sleeping dogs lie.

I do so hate having
things hang over me.

Frankly, I don't know if
it's their never having

been educated or just
plain downright stupidity,

but there seems to be no end
to this detestable muddle.

Darling, I'm sure the
ring will turn up.

Oh, it's not just a question
of the ring, Violet,

though that's quite bad enough.

You know the insurance
company refusing to cough up.

No.

All sorts of things appear
to have been going on

whilst I've been away.

There's Edith now.

Edith, come here a moment.

I want you.

Now Edith, you're
a sensible girl.

I suppose you haven't come
across my ring, have you?

Which ring, madam?

Why, my sapphire cluster

I had you searching for high
and low before I went away.

Me, madam.

I'm sure I hadn't
taken your ring, man.

I'm not accusing you
of taking it, Edith,

but may I suggest you
have eyes in your head?

I don't deny that Madam,

but if it's your
sapphire cluster

you're inquiring after then,
I wouldn't know, I'm sure.

Oh, how aggravating you all are!

Why is there all
this mystery, Edith?

The whole thing's
most unsatisfactory.

Yes, that's all.

You can go.

I love this house.

It's my life now, but I
simply cannot stand lies.

Lies?

Why, my dear, the servants.

Oh, well of course,
Edith's in love-

Either you can trust
people or you can't.

Which makes her a bit funny-

And if you can't, they're
distasteful to live with.

It's been recovered, madam.

What has?

Your sapphire ring.

Thank you.

Now perhaps you'll
tell me what to say

to the insurance company.

Oh, and Raunce, who found it?

It was Edith.

So just what is all
this hateful business

about the pantry
boy amounted to?

Albert?

I regret to inform you that
my Albert is gone, madam.

Gone?

Where?

Over the other side.

He said he would and
now he's done it.

It's come as a big shock.

Really?

This is the final straw.

Something has been
going on here.

And if it's the last thing I do,

I intend to get to
the bottom of it.

Do you hear?

Yes, madam.

Let me see.

Tomorrow we're at Captain
Davenport's for the day.

I shall see you
tomorrow evening,

you and Edith in
the library at five.

Oh, and whilst we're about it,

it's high time I took
a look at the books.

Yes, madam.

* That cat is high *

* Look at that look in his eye *

* On man he's high *

* Yes, higher than a kite *

* That cat is high *

* Look at that look in his eye *

* Man, I wouldn't lie *

* The cat's higher than a kite *

* Now when you see
him stumblin' *

* Up and down the street *

* You know that
cat's been drinkin' *

* Got no shoes upon his feet *

* Man he's high *

* I said that cat is high *

* Yes he's high *

* Man he's higher than a kite *

* Oh, the place is jumpin' *

How Mrs. Jack dresses 'em.

Got everything so nice.

Proper little ladies.

Are you and Charlie
gonna be married, Edie?

We are then.

When's it gonna be?

Soon as I got me a few priests

to give rush and wonder.

We've got our eye on that
little house by the gate.

What, love? Whatever is it?

Hey.

Hey.

Oh God, there's nothing
come up into you, is it?

You mean on account of Paddy?

There isn't?

Not on your life.

You'd never believe
me that on me, surely.

[both laugh]

So, you weren't
thinking of Paddy

in such a way then?

[Kate sobs]

Well, who else is
there then, hey?

A girl gets lonely.

-[Kate cries]
-Sh!

Sh!

Sh!

We're gonna have to
squash and throw some.

What a lovely day
we have for it.

Splendid.

Where do you think we should go?

Tell me.

Where do you want to?

Do you think you're
going to do that?

You sort of knew?

Where do you think we should go?

Where do you want to go?

[Moira] Picnic.

[Mrs. Tennant] Picnic?

Would you like a picnic?

We've got the day to
ourselves, Charlie.

Come on out and
smell the flowers.

Oh, steady.

There's no light matter.

Why, what's up, Charlie?

All's well that ends well.

[ominous music]

She wants to see us.

You and me, in the
library at five.

I should worry?

She got her stupid
old ring back.

Why should I worry?

Because something
has set her mind off.

She's gonna put everybody
through the third degree, Edie.

And once she has
a go at them kids,

Mrs. Welch Albert'll
say straight out,

he only found what
you had hid away.

Yeah, you see?

I must have been crazy not to
tumble it in the first place.

You told her.

Well, hang on, Edie.

I never told her you took it.

Just when I said I
never set eyes on it.

How could you do that, Charlie?

It slipped out.

Well, it was different
from what Bert let slip.

For all he was a kid,
Bert stood up for me.

He can't deny the ring is back.

So where is the evidence I said?

Oh honey, it's you
I'm worried for.

It's what I suspect
her for what she says.

That's where the shoe pinches.

Well, then take it
off, you silly old cow.

I said to her, only I didn't.

Bert's got more spunk
in his little finger

then you've got in
your whole body.

-[intense music]
-[glass shattering]

So what are we
gonna do, Charlie?

It's back to the old country
for you and me, my love.

And I'm gonna be
taken to the ATS

as soon as I step off the ship.

Here now, steady.

Where'd you get that from?

Your very own lips!

Well, that was only a tale.

I didn't want you to go, did I?

There's nothing of
that sort going on.

I tell you.

Not yet, there isn't.

This isn't all just your
idea to get rid of me?

You don't love me.

Will you come to
father, beautiful.

But you said we was
onto a good thing here.

We'd laid our plans.
Our little house.

[Edith sobs]

There, sweetheart. There.

Don't take on, love.

I won't have my girlie fretting.

I love you more than I
thought it was capable.

I'm surprised at
myself, honest, I am.

My old mom could
see her Charlie now,

she wouldn't recognise him.

There's other places, Edie.

From all the cuts,

there's some lovely
money going in munitions.

[soft music]

[peacocks squawking]

Look, my own love.

We want to get out
of this country.

And when once we've
made up our minds,

we wanna get out first
before that lot gets back.

You mean sneak off
and not say goodbye?

Not a word.

But I couldn't.

But we've had about
enough, surely.

There's more going on
in the world these days

and some crazy little
bastard of a cook's nephew,

having a laugh on us.

We don't wanna give none
of them the satisfaction.

So that's your answer, is it?

Run away?

But it's only that'll be wrong.

Right or wrong, it's
what we'll do, mate.

That's all.

Well, I'd have to tell
Ms. Moira and Ms. Evelyn.

I mean, they wouldn't understand

if I was to go off
without a word.

Oh, they'll forget
soon enough, dearest.

Then there's Ms. Burch who's
trusted me all this time.

I mean, how will she take it?

For land's sake, I feel awful.

Run off without a
word, you just...

Elope, you mean?

Elope.

Oh Charlie, that's
romantic, that is.

[Charlie laughs]

There's nothing else
for us, sweetheart.

If Mrs. T ever got wind of it,

she'd try to stop us, see?

She'd raise only cane making
out I was carrying you off.

That's what you're
doing, Charlie dear.

It's you carting me off,
body and soul more likely

Oh, Charlie.

I can love you for this.

There I said it now, haven't I?

Oh, this would occur.

Just when I'm not
quite up to the mark.

Well, this is a fun elopement.

Didn't gamble on you going
to sleep on me, I must say.

That's me dyspepsia, love.

That's a condition
don't let up on you

no matter how you're placed.

You rest yourself.

Love.

[pigeons cooing]

Edie.

Edie.

* Bless you for being an angel *

* Just when it seemed that
heaven was not for me *

* Bless you, for
building a new dream *

* Just when my old dream
crumbled so helplessly *

* In that vine covered
chapel on the hill *

* Your face was a hymn
that lingered still *

* So bless you, my
darling, my angel, *

* Heaven is mine and
life is divine with you *

* We're such a happy pair *

* That it isn't right *

* No, it isn't fair *

* To all those other boys *

* I gave thee, yeah *

* Daddy, let me stay out late *

* For tomorrow is
our wedding date *

* Can't you baby
kind of celebrate *

* Kiss the boys goodbye *

* Daddy, let me wear the mink *

* What's the difference
what the neighbours think *

* Let your baby
linger on the brink *

* Kiss the boys goodbye *

* And while I'm kissing
them sentimentally *

* Keep the liberal
point of view *

* Because I'm breaking
it to them gently *

* But my heart belongs to you *

* So, daddy please
remember this *

* That tomorrow's
not a life of bliss *

* That we show them what
they're gonna miss *

* Kiss the boys goodbye *