Screen Two (1985–2002): Season 13, Episode 3 - Bad Boy Blues - full transcript
Two boyhood friends end up on different sides of the law. How will each react when they meet up for the first time since school?
[intense music]
[slow gentle music]
[AD] I don't remember
the precise moment
when Paul and I became friends,
it seems like he's
always been there.
I never knew his
father neither did he.
Jane, his mom was an easy going,
down to earth, kind of person.
She had dreams for Paul.
When we were small,
she thought he might
grow up to be a painter,
that was her dream for him
and she wanted that to
be his dream for himself.
Much later when we were
in our early teens,
she came to terms with the
fact that he was a sleeper
not a dreamer, and that
even if he had dreams,
he kept them to himself.
[bright upbeat music]
We lived across the road.
I shared a room with
Tola, my kid brother.
We were pretty close
when we were young,
but there were times
when I felt that
we were too close for comfort.
[bright upbeat music]
Piss [indistinct]
You pissed on me.
You did again, you peed on me.
-You peed on me again.
-Mom, mom!
-You peed on me again.
-Get him off me.
You peed on me
-You peed on me.
-Mom!
-Mom!
-You peed on me.
-Hey, hey, hey!
-You peed on me.
Tola, AD, what is the matter?
AD, the day hasn't even began
and you're already
murdering your brother.
What's wrong with you?
I'm not sharing a
room with him anymore.
What's the matter?
-He peed on me!
-Stop it!
-Stop it!
-He peed on me again!
-Stop it!
-Again!
Stop it, AD, stop it!
-Stop it!
-He peed on me!
Stop it!
Stop it!
Stop it!
Stop it, AD!
AD, stop it, stop it!
[knocks door]
[Jane] Come on, baby,
its time to get up.
Okay, hang on, mum.
Hang on.
[Jane] Come on Paul, you're
gonna be late for school.
Yeah.
[door knocks]
Come on
Al right, hang on, mum.
Hang on, hang on.
I've told you, once I've
told you a million times,
never locked that door.
Why, it won't happen again.
Supposing happens!
Just get off my case
mom, I said, I'm sorry!
Paulo!
Come and wait for me, you.
[indistinct] , miss Jane
[indistinct] AD.
Get a move on, get downstairs.
[AD] No mater what,
Paul and I knew we'd always
be there for each other.
[AD cries]
Easy soldier.
Easy man.
Oh, God!
There's a doctor,
who knows a doctor.
You will be all right, okay.
I'm telling ya'.
There's a...
There's a hospital
just by this corner.
Do you want me to...
Do you want me...
Make a right at the lights.
-Please, it's not--
-Just make a right, okay.
You make a right.
I can't robber!
Listen, I can't!
You will make a right.
You will make a right.
Make a right.
[car engine revving]
Where are we going?
We're going at Stella's.
-Stella?
-She's a friend of Louis.
-Yeah.
-Yeah,
[indistinct]
-That's what he says?
-That's what he said.
He said that to you?
-That's what he said.
-To you?
That's what he said to me, yeah.
-When?
-When what?
-When did he?
-Never thought of years,
maybe 50 fucking years
ago, I don't remember.
It was a by the way, is
that alL right with you?
[AD cries]
[Man On phone] Hello?
Hello?
Any luck?
There was someone
there, wasn't Louis.
You sure he wasn't Louis?
If I was in the dream
blindfolded with a hanger,
but I'd still know it
was Louis speaking.
So, what'd you
think has happened?
I think someone rumbled.
I think they got
Louis, the cops.
I think, come to think of it,
those mothers were waiting
for us this morning.
I don't think so.
-You don't?
-No, I don't.
If they've been waiting for us.
We wouldn't be where we are now.
What am I saying?
We wouldn't even have got
over an inch of the place.
You're right.
I'm only saying maybe,
maybe the snitch on it
got wind of it just as
we were getting there.
-You think so?
-I think so.
I don't.
I think we're just don't lucky.
-You think so?
-Yeah, I think so.
-No, I don't.
-I do.
10!
10 police cars, man.
Not one, two, three,
10 bad luck, no.
We've been shot, that's what.
So, what do we do now?
We go on exactly as per planned.
We wait till after dark?
We wait till after dark,
Michael rendezvous was planned.
My leg.
Will sort it out.
[Paul] What are you doing?
I didn't tell you to turn left.
[George cries]
Don't do anything to me.
Please, don't harm me.
I'm a Catholic, I go to church.
Please, I won't say to no one.
I swear to God.
Wipe your face, man.
Listen, man, what's your name?
George.
Born local?
Partney.
Partney, spent 25 years of
my life, that one night.
That was a joke, George.
Listen, George, go
on, wipe your face.
We give you our word, right?
Yeah, yeah.
Nothing is gonna happen to
you, so long as you behave.
So long as you don't do
anything foolish, okay?
Okay.
Get on the radio then,
tell them you're
signing off for the day.
[AD screams]
[AD breathes heavily]
[Paul] Easy, easy.
[AD breathes heavily]
Easy man, easy.
[clock ticking]
[bell chimes]
Sit down, George.
Relax.
Have a Castro.
Al right.
I don't smoke.
I used to, Jane made me quit.
That's your wife's name, Jane?
Yes.
I shouldn't be telling you this,
but my mum's name is Jane.
Tell me about them.
Well, actually--
Relax.
Feel at home.
That's Elizabeth, there.
She was 12 last week
and that's Liz, she
was also 12 last week.
Liz and Elizabeth.
Twins.
Ooh.
And, that's my little
soldier, David.
Look at them.
Just look at them.
Are they beautiful?
Aren't they just gorgeous?
I envy you, George.
Oh, [chuckles]
You are a man to be envied,
when are they due back from
school, who picks them up?
I normally pick them--
Don't lie, George.
Jane normally gets them today
on her way back from work.
So, what?
Gives us four or five hours.
C'mon here, have a cancer stick.
I think George deserves
to know little about us.
Why?
Seems only fair.
Seems only fair, oh like
that, apart from that?
Because it doesn't matter a
shit if we tell him or not.
He'll find out from
the papers anyhow.
Oh, that's an even better reason
much as I'd like to fall here.
Besides, you're boring me
to death patronising George.
I wasn't patronising him.
Well, maybe it's the
other way around.
Maybe he's sucking up to you.
Fuck you, was I
patronising you George?
No.
-Where you?
-No.
Do you know what my problem is?
No.
Tell me what my problem is.
What you really suffer from
is you're an overeducated,
underachieving,
antisocial fat face.
Me, a--
[indistinct chatters]
Oh,
I had a dream last night.
What wet dream?
I like to put a leather
in my wet dreams.
It wasn't a wet dream.
I saw you and Sushaila.
What, in your dream?
Yes, in my dream.
And it got me thinking,
is Paul seeing SuShaila?
Yeah.
Yeah, and it got me thinking,
is Paul seeing Sheila
Well, no.
Where does that leave me?
Well, that's Sushaila our case
Yeah, that's what I
thought, but is it fair?
Is it fair, what?
Is it fair?
I ought to know?
What?
[indistinct] we talking
is it fair about?
Look, what did I
tell you about Lagos?
What?
I never get with a programme.
-I'm a Libra.
-Me too.
But, I'm talking girls.
My mum is a Libra.
That's what I'm saying.
What?
Look, so you've only
got one brother.
See Libra women, they
always got an excuse.
I got a headache,
I got a toothache,
I just have me an egg,
I got [indistinct]
Think about it AD, he's
probably an accident.
How?
Well your mom, she probably
ran out of excuses.
You know what?
You might be right.
I might be right,
look, I know I'm right.
Remember that time
when I broke my arm,
I need to try to
follow a week, yeah.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Well she said that she
knew that I was trouble
even before I was born.
I mean, she's my mom and she's
supposed to be here for me.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, that's what
I'm saying, is it?
Don't worry about it.
[bell rings]
[Paul laughs]
Oh, Fred.
Go to Mr. And Mrs.
Scarves already.
You calling me a scarf or what?
-[Paul] Or what, yeah.
-Yeah, fuck you.
Excuse me,
What did you say?
[Fred] Fuck you!
Should we just pity the child?
Fred ain't no child.
Remember that tooth he lost
when we were sixth year.
I buried in the
back of the garden.
That's him come
back to haunt us.
You want me to
just pay you then?
No, I think we were
to go and get a ghost
to have his stuff removed.
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
Chew some sense into him.
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
Well Paul, see this.
That's your father.
Get him.
Stop it Paul, just calm down.
Calm down!
Right!
It's time that we
reexamine perhaps,
challenge even our
knowledge or should we say,
our preconceptions of the bird.
Put away all books, let's begin.
You, who wrote Mac Beth?
I ...
Mac Beth, Paul, Mac Beth.
Well, me sir.
[students laugh]
Sorry.
I wrote Mac Beth, sir.
Believe me Paul, I am
hardly likely to mistake you
for the writer of Mac Beth.
Perhaps I should
rephrase the question.
[Bidy] Excuse me, sir.
Bidy.
I know he done it.
He's a liar I suppose.
He thinks he's a
Venus, a sex symbol.
[students cheering]
He writes love letters
all the time sir,
I know 'cause he's
written me one.
And, me too.
And, I told him what to do, sir.
Yeah, me too.
I told him go stick
up his thingy.
[Bidy] Me too.
Go [indistinct]
Is this some sort
of a joke, class?
Because if it is I should
like to be let know on it.
I hope you don't
mind me asking sir.
AD [indistinct]
Who is this Macbeth?
Who is so called, is
she your daughter sir?
And we're supposed
to be the best mates.
I didn't write a love letter
to Mr. Roy's daughter.
Oh, yeah, and my mum
is an emperor of China?
Honesty, I'd tell you,
I'd tell you if I did.
Look, I'll tell you
the truth, I didn't.
How do we know it weren't you?
[Students] Yeah.
Me?
I don't even know her.
It wasn't me who wrote Mac Beth.
Well, it wasn't me neither,
I didn't write Mac Beth.
And, Mr. Roy, is
the head still up?
[Students] Mr. Roy.
[students jeering]
[George laughing]
That is the funniest
story I've ever heard,
I'm gonna tell the kids.
Mr. O.
You realise he has to go,
don't you tell any more lie.
[George] You won't mind
if I tell them, will you?
What makes you think I
didn't already know that.
Why else do you think
I'd been dribbling?
I said, you won't mind
if I tell the kids the
Mac Beth story, will you?
Off course not George.
Why should we?
Why should we George?
[George laughs]
[bright upbeat music]
Why did you do that?
Because it was irritating me.
Well, excuse me for
pissing on your face.
But what gave you the idea that
I was playing that for you.
[bright upbeat music]
Here he comes.
No, don't get out.
[car engine revving]
[intense music]
Are you crazy?
You almost run me over.
That was AD.
Was it?
We've been waiting for
you for a while, Fred.
Have you?
Yep, Freddy boy.
We thought we should have
a little chat sort of thing
about this morning.
Oh, yeah.
The name is Fred, thank you.
What about this morning?
Paul, this guy was supposed
to go, now he's bleeding nose.
He's bleeding nose.
I am such a comedian.
Call me if you need a hand here.
It's al right, it's
just Paul and Fred
doing a little bit of TaeKwonDo.
* Bruce Lee will make
you break out free *
* And then [indistinct]
Chimpanzee, it's a
Kong Fu fighting *
* And that kick like lightning *
Number one,
[AD] Oh, man shit.
Number one, my father
didn't shoot himself.
Say that after me, "Paul's
father didn't shoot himself."
Paul's father
didn't shoot himself
Look, what you've done
to my trousers as well.
Number two, so you
know, he was a soldier.
He fell in the line of duty.
[AD] Look, I have to
get this dry cleaned.
You listen to me, number three--
[AD] I'm gonna send you
the fuel, you hear that?
He didn't die for shit
[indistinct] fun of his memory.
Are you listening to me?
-Boy, are you okay?
-Let me finish.
Let me finish.
[AD] Paul.
Paul.
Paul
[Paul] Let me finish.
Let me finish.
Come down Paul, come down.
[indistinct chatters]
Let go.
[crowd screaming]
You think I'm fucking with you?
[indistinct chatters]
[Man] Someone call an ambulance.
Paul, get an ambulance,
someone get me some first aid.
[AD] Move away.
Darling, [indistinct]
I think we should
be making a move.
Why are you looking
at me that way?
I haven't I been out your sight.
No,
Shut up.
I haven't even
been to the phone.
I swear to God, I
haven't been even...
Shh!
Open it.
[Paul sniffles]
He always gets up at six
on the dot without fail.
Suppose he doesn't today?
And we go in there and
we ask him why not.
Sit back al right, relax.
I've done this.
As long as things go
strictly according to plan
and you're alert when
you have to improvise,
it's a piece of cake.
What's his story?
What's his story, I don't
know what his story is.
I don't know that
he even has a story,
even if he did have a
story, do I wanna hear it?
No, thank you, I
don't wanna hear it.
Do you wanna hear it?
No, you don't wanna hear it.
Believe me, you do not
wanna hear that man's story.
Why not?
Because if you did,
then what the fuck
are you doing in this army?
What the fuck are you doing
in any army for that man?
What I'm saying is, and
this is for instance,
if you're a soldier
and you're sent to war,
you're sent there
to hurt the enemy.
To subvert, to kill
him, to eliminate him,
to make dust of his dreams.
Your bullet is the full stop
at the end of his life, period.
That's what you're
sent there to do.
Simple arithmetic,
subtract him from himself.
See, six on the dot,
smart Colby and reliable.
Do you know Woody Allen?
Are you kidding?
I went to school with him.
Go and brag about it.
In one of his films, Woody say?
Woody?
He says, crime pays.
The hours are good, you
travel a lot, guess what?
He's right.
Did you see "Crimes
and Misdemeanours"?
Yeah.
My favourite actor, the dog.
Are you crazy or what, Paul?
We're on the verge
of sending someone
to a great place in the sky,
and the way you can finally
talk about is Woody who, Allen.
The great place in the sky and
you say I'm being flippant.
You don't like him as always.
It's not what I said.
I'll tell you why
you don't like him.
I never said I didn't like him.
It's because you're
scared of emotions.
Your mama,
It's true, you're afraid
of expressing yourself.
I can't believe
I'm hearing this.
That's why you never
screw Sushaila?
Some relationships go
beyond the mere physical.
There's also something
called a spiritual dimension.
Yeah, what goes on there?
Copulation during
levitation anatomy.
You know I feel sorry
for guys like you.
For guys like me?
Who's the wise guy that
kept sending flowers
for a whole year
and didn't even get to see
her underwear in the laundry,
let alone only--
Hey, let's set the record
straight once and for all,
I never sent
Sushaila any flowers.
I mean, I never sent
her a single flower.
You didn't.
I fucking didn't.
Not even on Val's Day?
Val's day, my black ass.
You see what I'm saying?
It comes back to you're
afraid of your emotions,
that lover in you, that's why
you don't like Woody Allen.
If shagging your own daughter--
She wasn't his daughter,
If shagging your own daughter
is what you call being romantic,
then yes, I'm not romantic.
She wasn't his daughter,
and in any way,
don't use words
like that shagging,
I hate it when people
use words like that.
Why [indistinct] love
making, making love,
shagging, shafted.
They copulate Jesus Christ,
were they train carriages?
He had carnal knowledge and
aware on a butcher slap.
I mean, Jesus Christ, I'd
rather, you said they fucked,
at least that's unpretentious
and it captures something of
the essence of... [laughs]
I'm a new man.
Oh, really?
Yeah, take it from me,
it's the only way I
get laid these days
and look,
it's all right to do that
Woody Allen is a prick thing.
Just don't lay it on
too thick, al right?
For the 109,094th time,
I'm telling you Woody
bloody Allen is...
He's coming out.
* Every breath you take *
* Every move you make *
* Every step you,
every bond you break *
* I'll be watching you *
[humming]
[birds chirping]
* Sometimes you see
you [indistinct] *
Excuse me.
Excuse me, sir.
[gun fires]
[dog barks]
[Paul screams]
[police car sirens]
Come on, Paul.
Paul, come on.
[birds chirping]
[guns fires]
[car engine revving]
Paul, what the fuck bro.
Move, get out, move.
Oh, shit.
Shut up!
Shut up.
[AD cries]
Okay, let's go.
Let's move.
Come on.
Morning.
Okay, let's go.
Drive out of here.
Move the car, go!
[George] Oh, God.
Oh, I saw the car outside,
but didn't think you'd be
back not this time of day.
This is my mother-in-law, Cathy.
[AD] It's all right,
it's all right.
[indistinct] No kids
will be back soon.
Don't worry grandma,
George is in safe hands.
-Get out.
-No, God!.
[slow gentle music]
[George] What?
[Paul] Just get out of here,
park up somewhere quite.
[car engine revving]
[Reporter] [indistinct]
the magician,
who accidentally turned
his wife into a sofa
and his son into a footstool.
They rushed to emergency
now after waiting hours
in a hospital reception
about any news,
the magician phones
and asks how they were.
And, the doctor
says, "Comfortable."
[reporter laughs]
Well, if you've just joined us,
you're listening to
the comedy hour, SFM.
I've got a question.
You didn't mean it when
you promise to let me go,
didn't you?
Yes.
You, meant it?
Yes, George, we meant it.
So, what makes you
think we didn't?
No, no.
[bright upbeat music]
Drive George, N25.
N25.
[AD] It was the morning
of my father's funeral.
Come on, man, everyone's
waiting downstairs.
Just a moment.
What's are looking for?
Why is Becky not here
today of all days?
Why should Becky be
here, today of all days?
Because she happens to be
your girlfriend, big brother.
Your father dies
and your girlfriend doesn't
even have the common courtesy
to phone, let alone drop
by to condole your family.
I think it sucks.
You know why she isn't here?
Last time I brought her home,
mother kept calling
her Ms. Hamilton
for whole bloody
back holiday weekend.
What's wrong with that?
Mother's always
been a formal soul.
So tell me once
again, Ms. Hamilton,
how did you meet my son?
Mother's wicked man.
Hey listen brother
man, I need a loan.
-Tola!
-No, AD, I'm serious.
I ain't got it.
You're still job hunting?
I've got a couple of interviews
lined up for next week.
50 quid, AD, I'll pay you back
as soon as I get my check
from my weekend job.
I haven't even go 50P
let alone 50 quid.
Could this be what
you're looking for?
How did you come by that.
You are two face
lying bastered, AD.
How the fuck did
you come by that?
To discover my own brother,
my own flesh and blood, is
an undercover policemen.
Answer me, Tola, where?
You dropped out your
coat pocket this morning.
-Where?
-Downstairs.
Did anybody see me it?
No.
[sombre music]
[AD] Father died barely a
weekend into his retirement,
a heart attack.
It's almost the day,
exactly 30 years since he
left Lagos as a young man
in search of the golden fleece.
He ended up spending the
bear part of those years
chasing fair Duchess
on the Northern Line.
[Pastor] Go in peace
the service has ended.
* Oh, Lord, my God, How
excellent is your name *
* Oh, Lord, My God, How
excellent is your name *
[AD] Ma' I want to be on
my own for a little while.
I'll make my way back home.
[Ajibade] Bye, son.
* Oh, Lord, My God, How
excellent is your name *
* Oh, Lord, My God, How
excellent is your name *
* Oh, Lord, My God, How
excellent is your name *
* Oh, Lord, My God, How
excellent is your name *
* Oh, Lord, My God, How
excellent is your name *
[AD] I looked up
and there he was.
Paulo!
I hadn't seen him
in three years.
Paulo!
I'm sorry I'm late, man,
I came as soon as I heard.
[bright upbeat music]
Is great to see you man.
The main man.
Let's get out of here.
Is your mom taking it all right?
She's...
Well, I'm a little
bit worried about her.
She's killing
herself with grief.
She's been talking about, she
wants to go back to Nigeria.
Haven't been back
there since they left,
before me and my
brother were born.
Tola and I, like to go with her,
see the place for the first
time, chill out there for a bit.
But the travel you need dosh,
and that, I haven't gotten.
And Tola, still a student.
As an undercover cop,
I'd been told to
constantly reinvent myself
to take up other people's
lives and stories
that ticks and twitches,
and rend them to where.
I've not even got a job.
So, enough about me,
what have you been up to
since you say
suddenly disappeared?
I didn't disappear, AD.
So, where you been,
Paul?
Come here, let me
show you something.
Picked her up this
morning, what do you think?
What do I think?
What do you think?
I think she's the most
beautiful, the most gorgeous,
the most seductive wicked
thing I ever set eyes on.
Yeah, definitely the it.
Can I?
Yo, so what's the story?
What's the story.
Yeah, what's the story.
-The story is this G.
-[AD] This G.
-Let's call him Bill.
-[AD] Bill.
Aha, Bill goes up for job.
[AD] Aha.
-All he's got to do,
-[AD] Yeah, get a job.
Aha, is answer a
couple of questions.
[AD] Just a couple of questions?
Yeah, more or less.
The questions are,
who is Neil Kinnock?
Donald's Bill,
Margaret Thatcher--
Don't know either, says Bill
and the punchline is
you've got your friends
and I've got mine.
That's the way it goes.
You've got your friends
and I've got mine.
I don't get it.
The point is at
the end of the day,
no matter where we've
been, what we've done,
where we're at, at
the end of the day,
what really truly
matters on the big ideas.
At the end of the day,
what really counts
are the tiny things,
the small everyday
things that we live with,
touch, breathe in.
Paul, talk to me.
I'm talking to you.
You're not talking to me,
you're trying to be profound.
Well all I'm trying to say...
Trying to be profound, fuck you.
All I'm saying is at
the end of the day,
what matters more than
anything else is friends.
What I'm saying to you shit
face is that I'm on a roll.
I've got the key.
Are you coming along?
Let's go for a ride.
* One, two, three, four *
* Get up , get on up *
* Get up , get on up *
* Stay on the scene, get on up *
* Like a sex
machine, get on up *
* Get up , get on up *
* Get up , get on up *
* Stay on the scene, get on up *
* Like a sex
machine, get on up *
* Get up , get on up *
* Stay on the scene, get on up *
* Like a sex
machine, get on up *
* Wait a minute,
shake your arm. *
* And use your form *
* Stay on the scene *
* Like a sex machine. *
* You got to have the feeling *
* Sure as you're born *
* Get it together *
* Right on, right on *
* Get up , get on up *
* Get up , get on up *
* Get up , get on up *
* Huh *
* Get up , get on up *
* Get up , get on up *
* Get up , get on up *
* Get up , get on up *
* You said *
* You said you got the *
* You said the feeling *
* You got to get *
* You give me the fever *
* And a cold sweat *
* The way I like, it
is the way it is *
* I got mine, don't
worry about his *
* Get up , get on up *
* Stay on the scene *
* Get on up *
* Like the sex
machine, get on up *
I wanna call me, moderation,
an original gangster man.
[speaking in foreign language]
Watch this.
[bright reggae music]
Yes, please.
Oliver Champagne, please.
Don't worry about
it, it's on me.
So, what do you think, like it?
Is not bad.
This is where the
big boys hang out.
Look over there,
[indistinct] band.
See, that guy in a tie,
in less than 48 hours,
he'll be dead.
Yeah, and who's your
name, Mr. Thomas?
No, my name is Paul.
So, who is he?
Don't know, never
seen him before.
But you know he's gonna
be dead in 48 hours.
I was given descriptions,
I was told he was
gonna be at tonight,
I've been told to kill him.
What?
Someone just walked up to you
and said, "Excuse me, Paul,
when you got a moment,
would you mind knocking off
that Israel over there please?
You're a fucking genius.
I'm not pissed off Paul.
So, we job done.
I mean, once the word gets
out, you get all sorts.
One guy comes up to me,
wants me to put a bullet
through his next
door neighbours ear.
Why?
'Cause the neighbour is
annoying them with loud music
at all hours.
And you dutifully carried
out a contract, I presume..
No.
I first advise him to go to
have a word with his neighbour
about the noise and
see what happens.
What happened?
What happened is,
the next door neighbour
then gets in touch
and tells me the guy next
door is threatening my life.
He says, I've got to sort him
out first or he'll get me.
I thought fair
enough, self-defense.
So I took out his contract.
You killed the first man?
The man that complained
about the noise.
Yeah.
But why?
'Cause I knew the
noisy neighbour
had a genuine cause for concern.
God fucking blind me.
Where's the justice in that?
Well, don't you see it?
No, I don't.
The man's life was
being threatened AD.
Anyway, we're not talking
about justice here,
we're talking about
plain common sense.
So, why goes, if you're
telling me all this,
'Cause in less than 48 hours,
you're gonna be driving me over
to that Lizard's house in
Black heath to shoot him.
You're joking?
No, I'm not.
[bright reggae music]
[AD] The next morning, I told
my boss what was happening
and he decided to set a trap
to catch Paul in Flagrante,
as he put it.
I was instructed to go
along with Paul's plan.
I had to pick Paul up from his
hotel at 4:30 in the morning
and drive into Lazard's.
You reach Marvin Lazard's
residence at 0530 hours,
his regimen is to go
jogging every morning,
six o'clock with his dog.
So, now this is where the
in theory bit comes in.
In theory, you wait for him
to come across the field
in front of his house,
you drive towards him
and Paul guns him down.
That's what's supposed to
happen, in practise however,
the plan changes the
moment Lazard comes running
and you start
moving towards him.
In a matter of seconds,
the entire area will be
flooded with armed police
His assassination is
averted, we arrest Paul,
and invite Lazard
in for questioning.
You come out of it
smelling of roses.
How does that strike you?
You promised me that
nothing will go wrong, sir.
Yes.
No one will get hurt.
There's no need to worry AD,
will go as smooth as clockwork,
there'd be no
bloodshed whatsoever.
AD,
Sir.
Good luck.
[Paul] Oh-oh.
[intense music]
Can you turn your
engine off please, sir.
May I see your driving
licence, please sir?
You're cab drivers, sir?
[George] Yes, officer.
What phone do you work for?
And, where you headed?
Paula,
Al right, sir.
Do you have any form
of ID on you sir's?
Of course, officer,
though, we'd very much
appreciate it if...
It's a bit complicated,
my wife is in--
Don't Paul.
We're expecting--
I said don't do that.
[Police Officer] Armed, officer.
[AD] You're under arrest.
You're not obliged to
say anything unless
you wish to do so,
but I must warn you,
Whatever you do say may be taken
down and given in evidence.
[Paul laughs]
No.
[AD] A copper.
A snitch.
A copper.
Look, I tried to
back out of this job.
You're a dead, man,
I don't mean me.
You fucked up big time,
What happened to Louis?
He was picked up this morning.
How come they shoot you?
Probably because she
was shooting at them,
I guess they kinda felt
they should shoot back.
Al right, tell your friends,
I'm coming out peacefully
and on my own free will.
I don't want any
accidents, okay.
Okay.
Boy, you're fucked.
Coming out.
Paul don't!
When we were kids, we
used to play a game,
I'd say, "And the man
who walked the water
and tied the wells
tailing a knot,
taught the little
fishes how to swim,
cross the burning sands and
shook the devil's hand."
And Paul respond,
"I rode around the world
on the back of a snail,
carrying his sacks, saying AML.
Walked 99 miles of barbed wire
and used the Cobra
snake for a tie.
It was rough.
It was tough.
It was cold, call my bluff."
[gun fires]
I'm really glad he's turned
out differently for you.
I'm happy for your mother.
I'm really happy
for your mother.
Once again, that you do?
[AD] I work for the DSS.
You know, he was always
going on about you.
Did you know that?
He'd have given anything
to be just like you.
[AD] I discovered
that my bosses plan
was a load of straight
face bullocks.
There was never any
intention of preventing Paul
from killing Marvin Lazard.
Lazard was a big
time drug dealer
and the police had been
trying to nail him for years.
It was simple, if the law
couldn't deal with Lazard
why stop someone else doing it,
and for shooting my friend
they offered me a promotion.
[bright upbeat music]
I feel like a piece of shit.
Hi, can I have a lift?
[clicks]
Yo, G.
The name, Lo and
motherfucking hold,
is Easy Mo-Jo,
that's Easy Mo-Jo.
Easy-going, easy cheesy,
upstate Daisy, freaky deaky.
Hot and cold, high and low,
super ultra Meghan nice.
You got the Mazuma,
I got what you need, baby.
Who the fuck are you?
Easy Mo-Jo, I thought you heard.
And I know who you
are, Mr. Jack Lord,
Hawaii 5034999.
Look, you've been watching
too much telly, bro.
And if I'm Five-O', why
you trying to sell me that?
I ain't selling
you nothing, man.
Check your note.
You got a nerve, trying
to sell me a piece of gum
for a hundred pounds.
Free market, my man,
that's what I say.
Cool runners my man.
Life, she's bitch says easy
Mo-Jo, copyright control.
Get the fuck outta here.
Okay, Easy.
I'd love to play games,
buy and go all night.
And this time, no
chewing gum, yeah.
I need this shit real bad, man.
Diro, left town in a
hurry, Babylon's driving.
Al Right, you're cool.
[Easy laughs]
So, what made you think
I might be a copper?
I just checking you out, man.
I ain't seen your
face on it before
and listen, I got
a shoot, big up,
do the right thing, stay black.
Yo Easy, look what I got.
Come on, man.
Get in the car.
Where you're taking me, man?
Where'd you feel like going?
Where do I feel like going?
Where'd you wanna die?
[laughs] I don't wanna die.
I'm going to kill you.
Why are you doing
this to me, man?
Why are you doing this to me?
Because I just like you.
You were right, I am Five-O.
You think I'm fucking with you.
Is that what you think?
Is that what you think?
You think I'm fucking with you?
You think I'm fucking with you.
You think I'm fucking with you.
Is that what you think?
Is that what you think,
I'm fucking with you?
You think I'm fucking with you?
I ain't fucking with you,
I aint fucking with nobody.
I'm fucking with you
like I fucked with you.
I fucking, fuck it, fuck, fuck,
I ain't fucking with you.
Fuck it, fuck, fuck, fuck.
[breathes heavily]
[slow gentle music]
* Man think about a
little bit of baby girls *
* And a baby boys *
* Man make them happy *
* 'Cause men make them toys *
* And after man
makes everything *
* Everything he can *
* Do you know that
man makes money *
* To buy from other men *
* This is a man world *
* But it wouldn't be
nothing, nothing, *
* Not one little thing
without a woman or a girl *
* He's lost in the wilderness *
* He's lost *
[AD] It was only when I
got home that I remembered.
Easy, Easy.
Easy man, I'm
really sorry, okay.
I dunno what happened
out there tonight.
Oh, God.
-Oh, God.
-Stop.
Oh, God.
Oh, God.
I'll just go inside
and get the keys.
Just give me two seconds, okay.
And, I'll call an
ambulance as well.
[car engine revving]
Shh!
[intense music]
Clear off, will ya'.
I say clear off.
Did you hear me?
Are you sure that's him?
[gun shot fires]
[car engine revving]
[AD] I'll be 99
miles of barbed wire
and use the Cobra
snake for a tie,
across the burning sands
and shook the devils hand.
[bright reggae music]
[slow gentle music]
[AD] I don't remember
the precise moment
when Paul and I became friends,
it seems like he's
always been there.
I never knew his
father neither did he.
Jane, his mom was an easy going,
down to earth, kind of person.
She had dreams for Paul.
When we were small,
she thought he might
grow up to be a painter,
that was her dream for him
and she wanted that to
be his dream for himself.
Much later when we were
in our early teens,
she came to terms with the
fact that he was a sleeper
not a dreamer, and that
even if he had dreams,
he kept them to himself.
[bright upbeat music]
We lived across the road.
I shared a room with
Tola, my kid brother.
We were pretty close
when we were young,
but there were times
when I felt that
we were too close for comfort.
[bright upbeat music]
Piss [indistinct]
You pissed on me.
You did again, you peed on me.
-You peed on me again.
-Mom, mom!
-You peed on me again.
-Get him off me.
You peed on me
-You peed on me.
-Mom!
-Mom!
-You peed on me.
-Hey, hey, hey!
-You peed on me.
Tola, AD, what is the matter?
AD, the day hasn't even began
and you're already
murdering your brother.
What's wrong with you?
I'm not sharing a
room with him anymore.
What's the matter?
-He peed on me!
-Stop it!
-Stop it!
-He peed on me again!
-Stop it!
-Again!
Stop it, AD, stop it!
-Stop it!
-He peed on me!
Stop it!
Stop it!
Stop it!
Stop it, AD!
AD, stop it, stop it!
[knocks door]
[Jane] Come on, baby,
its time to get up.
Okay, hang on, mum.
Hang on.
[Jane] Come on Paul, you're
gonna be late for school.
Yeah.
[door knocks]
Come on
Al right, hang on, mum.
Hang on, hang on.
I've told you, once I've
told you a million times,
never locked that door.
Why, it won't happen again.
Supposing happens!
Just get off my case
mom, I said, I'm sorry!
Paulo!
Come and wait for me, you.
[indistinct] , miss Jane
[indistinct] AD.
Get a move on, get downstairs.
[AD] No mater what,
Paul and I knew we'd always
be there for each other.
[AD cries]
Easy soldier.
Easy man.
Oh, God!
There's a doctor,
who knows a doctor.
You will be all right, okay.
I'm telling ya'.
There's a...
There's a hospital
just by this corner.
Do you want me to...
Do you want me...
Make a right at the lights.
-Please, it's not--
-Just make a right, okay.
You make a right.
I can't robber!
Listen, I can't!
You will make a right.
You will make a right.
Make a right.
[car engine revving]
Where are we going?
We're going at Stella's.
-Stella?
-She's a friend of Louis.
-Yeah.
-Yeah,
[indistinct]
-That's what he says?
-That's what he said.
He said that to you?
-That's what he said.
-To you?
That's what he said to me, yeah.
-When?
-When what?
-When did he?
-Never thought of years,
maybe 50 fucking years
ago, I don't remember.
It was a by the way, is
that alL right with you?
[AD cries]
[Man On phone] Hello?
Hello?
Any luck?
There was someone
there, wasn't Louis.
You sure he wasn't Louis?
If I was in the dream
blindfolded with a hanger,
but I'd still know it
was Louis speaking.
So, what'd you
think has happened?
I think someone rumbled.
I think they got
Louis, the cops.
I think, come to think of it,
those mothers were waiting
for us this morning.
I don't think so.
-You don't?
-No, I don't.
If they've been waiting for us.
We wouldn't be where we are now.
What am I saying?
We wouldn't even have got
over an inch of the place.
You're right.
I'm only saying maybe,
maybe the snitch on it
got wind of it just as
we were getting there.
-You think so?
-I think so.
I don't.
I think we're just don't lucky.
-You think so?
-Yeah, I think so.
-No, I don't.
-I do.
10!
10 police cars, man.
Not one, two, three,
10 bad luck, no.
We've been shot, that's what.
So, what do we do now?
We go on exactly as per planned.
We wait till after dark?
We wait till after dark,
Michael rendezvous was planned.
My leg.
Will sort it out.
[Paul] What are you doing?
I didn't tell you to turn left.
[George cries]
Don't do anything to me.
Please, don't harm me.
I'm a Catholic, I go to church.
Please, I won't say to no one.
I swear to God.
Wipe your face, man.
Listen, man, what's your name?
George.
Born local?
Partney.
Partney, spent 25 years of
my life, that one night.
That was a joke, George.
Listen, George, go
on, wipe your face.
We give you our word, right?
Yeah, yeah.
Nothing is gonna happen to
you, so long as you behave.
So long as you don't do
anything foolish, okay?
Okay.
Get on the radio then,
tell them you're
signing off for the day.
[AD screams]
[AD breathes heavily]
[Paul] Easy, easy.
[AD breathes heavily]
Easy man, easy.
[clock ticking]
[bell chimes]
Sit down, George.
Relax.
Have a Castro.
Al right.
I don't smoke.
I used to, Jane made me quit.
That's your wife's name, Jane?
Yes.
I shouldn't be telling you this,
but my mum's name is Jane.
Tell me about them.
Well, actually--
Relax.
Feel at home.
That's Elizabeth, there.
She was 12 last week
and that's Liz, she
was also 12 last week.
Liz and Elizabeth.
Twins.
Ooh.
And, that's my little
soldier, David.
Look at them.
Just look at them.
Are they beautiful?
Aren't they just gorgeous?
I envy you, George.
Oh, [chuckles]
You are a man to be envied,
when are they due back from
school, who picks them up?
I normally pick them--
Don't lie, George.
Jane normally gets them today
on her way back from work.
So, what?
Gives us four or five hours.
C'mon here, have a cancer stick.
I think George deserves
to know little about us.
Why?
Seems only fair.
Seems only fair, oh like
that, apart from that?
Because it doesn't matter a
shit if we tell him or not.
He'll find out from
the papers anyhow.
Oh, that's an even better reason
much as I'd like to fall here.
Besides, you're boring me
to death patronising George.
I wasn't patronising him.
Well, maybe it's the
other way around.
Maybe he's sucking up to you.
Fuck you, was I
patronising you George?
No.
-Where you?
-No.
Do you know what my problem is?
No.
Tell me what my problem is.
What you really suffer from
is you're an overeducated,
underachieving,
antisocial fat face.
Me, a--
[indistinct chatters]
Oh,
I had a dream last night.
What wet dream?
I like to put a leather
in my wet dreams.
It wasn't a wet dream.
I saw you and Sushaila.
What, in your dream?
Yes, in my dream.
And it got me thinking,
is Paul seeing SuShaila?
Yeah.
Yeah, and it got me thinking,
is Paul seeing Sheila
Well, no.
Where does that leave me?
Well, that's Sushaila our case
Yeah, that's what I
thought, but is it fair?
Is it fair, what?
Is it fair?
I ought to know?
What?
[indistinct] we talking
is it fair about?
Look, what did I
tell you about Lagos?
What?
I never get with a programme.
-I'm a Libra.
-Me too.
But, I'm talking girls.
My mum is a Libra.
That's what I'm saying.
What?
Look, so you've only
got one brother.
See Libra women, they
always got an excuse.
I got a headache,
I got a toothache,
I just have me an egg,
I got [indistinct]
Think about it AD, he's
probably an accident.
How?
Well your mom, she probably
ran out of excuses.
You know what?
You might be right.
I might be right,
look, I know I'm right.
Remember that time
when I broke my arm,
I need to try to
follow a week, yeah.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Well she said that she
knew that I was trouble
even before I was born.
I mean, she's my mom and she's
supposed to be here for me.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, that's what
I'm saying, is it?
Don't worry about it.
[bell rings]
[Paul laughs]
Oh, Fred.
Go to Mr. And Mrs.
Scarves already.
You calling me a scarf or what?
-[Paul] Or what, yeah.
-Yeah, fuck you.
Excuse me,
What did you say?
[Fred] Fuck you!
Should we just pity the child?
Fred ain't no child.
Remember that tooth he lost
when we were sixth year.
I buried in the
back of the garden.
That's him come
back to haunt us.
You want me to
just pay you then?
No, I think we were
to go and get a ghost
to have his stuff removed.
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
Chew some sense into him.
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
Well Paul, see this.
That's your father.
Get him.
Stop it Paul, just calm down.
Calm down!
Right!
It's time that we
reexamine perhaps,
challenge even our
knowledge or should we say,
our preconceptions of the bird.
Put away all books, let's begin.
You, who wrote Mac Beth?
I ...
Mac Beth, Paul, Mac Beth.
Well, me sir.
[students laugh]
Sorry.
I wrote Mac Beth, sir.
Believe me Paul, I am
hardly likely to mistake you
for the writer of Mac Beth.
Perhaps I should
rephrase the question.
[Bidy] Excuse me, sir.
Bidy.
I know he done it.
He's a liar I suppose.
He thinks he's a
Venus, a sex symbol.
[students cheering]
He writes love letters
all the time sir,
I know 'cause he's
written me one.
And, me too.
And, I told him what to do, sir.
Yeah, me too.
I told him go stick
up his thingy.
[Bidy] Me too.
Go [indistinct]
Is this some sort
of a joke, class?
Because if it is I should
like to be let know on it.
I hope you don't
mind me asking sir.
AD [indistinct]
Who is this Macbeth?
Who is so called, is
she your daughter sir?
And we're supposed
to be the best mates.
I didn't write a love letter
to Mr. Roy's daughter.
Oh, yeah, and my mum
is an emperor of China?
Honesty, I'd tell you,
I'd tell you if I did.
Look, I'll tell you
the truth, I didn't.
How do we know it weren't you?
[Students] Yeah.
Me?
I don't even know her.
It wasn't me who wrote Mac Beth.
Well, it wasn't me neither,
I didn't write Mac Beth.
And, Mr. Roy, is
the head still up?
[Students] Mr. Roy.
[students jeering]
[George laughing]
That is the funniest
story I've ever heard,
I'm gonna tell the kids.
Mr. O.
You realise he has to go,
don't you tell any more lie.
[George] You won't mind
if I tell them, will you?
What makes you think I
didn't already know that.
Why else do you think
I'd been dribbling?
I said, you won't mind
if I tell the kids the
Mac Beth story, will you?
Off course not George.
Why should we?
Why should we George?
[George laughs]
[bright upbeat music]
Why did you do that?
Because it was irritating me.
Well, excuse me for
pissing on your face.
But what gave you the idea that
I was playing that for you.
[bright upbeat music]
Here he comes.
No, don't get out.
[car engine revving]
[intense music]
Are you crazy?
You almost run me over.
That was AD.
Was it?
We've been waiting for
you for a while, Fred.
Have you?
Yep, Freddy boy.
We thought we should have
a little chat sort of thing
about this morning.
Oh, yeah.
The name is Fred, thank you.
What about this morning?
Paul, this guy was supposed
to go, now he's bleeding nose.
He's bleeding nose.
I am such a comedian.
Call me if you need a hand here.
It's al right, it's
just Paul and Fred
doing a little bit of TaeKwonDo.
* Bruce Lee will make
you break out free *
* And then [indistinct]
Chimpanzee, it's a
Kong Fu fighting *
* And that kick like lightning *
Number one,
[AD] Oh, man shit.
Number one, my father
didn't shoot himself.
Say that after me, "Paul's
father didn't shoot himself."
Paul's father
didn't shoot himself
Look, what you've done
to my trousers as well.
Number two, so you
know, he was a soldier.
He fell in the line of duty.
[AD] Look, I have to
get this dry cleaned.
You listen to me, number three--
[AD] I'm gonna send you
the fuel, you hear that?
He didn't die for shit
[indistinct] fun of his memory.
Are you listening to me?
-Boy, are you okay?
-Let me finish.
Let me finish.
[AD] Paul.
Paul.
Paul
[Paul] Let me finish.
Let me finish.
Come down Paul, come down.
[indistinct chatters]
Let go.
[crowd screaming]
You think I'm fucking with you?
[indistinct chatters]
[Man] Someone call an ambulance.
Paul, get an ambulance,
someone get me some first aid.
[AD] Move away.
Darling, [indistinct]
I think we should
be making a move.
Why are you looking
at me that way?
I haven't I been out your sight.
No,
Shut up.
I haven't even
been to the phone.
I swear to God, I
haven't been even...
Shh!
Open it.
[Paul sniffles]
He always gets up at six
on the dot without fail.
Suppose he doesn't today?
And we go in there and
we ask him why not.
Sit back al right, relax.
I've done this.
As long as things go
strictly according to plan
and you're alert when
you have to improvise,
it's a piece of cake.
What's his story?
What's his story, I don't
know what his story is.
I don't know that
he even has a story,
even if he did have a
story, do I wanna hear it?
No, thank you, I
don't wanna hear it.
Do you wanna hear it?
No, you don't wanna hear it.
Believe me, you do not
wanna hear that man's story.
Why not?
Because if you did,
then what the fuck
are you doing in this army?
What the fuck are you doing
in any army for that man?
What I'm saying is, and
this is for instance,
if you're a soldier
and you're sent to war,
you're sent there
to hurt the enemy.
To subvert, to kill
him, to eliminate him,
to make dust of his dreams.
Your bullet is the full stop
at the end of his life, period.
That's what you're
sent there to do.
Simple arithmetic,
subtract him from himself.
See, six on the dot,
smart Colby and reliable.
Do you know Woody Allen?
Are you kidding?
I went to school with him.
Go and brag about it.
In one of his films, Woody say?
Woody?
He says, crime pays.
The hours are good, you
travel a lot, guess what?
He's right.
Did you see "Crimes
and Misdemeanours"?
Yeah.
My favourite actor, the dog.
Are you crazy or what, Paul?
We're on the verge
of sending someone
to a great place in the sky,
and the way you can finally
talk about is Woody who, Allen.
The great place in the sky and
you say I'm being flippant.
You don't like him as always.
It's not what I said.
I'll tell you why
you don't like him.
I never said I didn't like him.
It's because you're
scared of emotions.
Your mama,
It's true, you're afraid
of expressing yourself.
I can't believe
I'm hearing this.
That's why you never
screw Sushaila?
Some relationships go
beyond the mere physical.
There's also something
called a spiritual dimension.
Yeah, what goes on there?
Copulation during
levitation anatomy.
You know I feel sorry
for guys like you.
For guys like me?
Who's the wise guy that
kept sending flowers
for a whole year
and didn't even get to see
her underwear in the laundry,
let alone only--
Hey, let's set the record
straight once and for all,
I never sent
Sushaila any flowers.
I mean, I never sent
her a single flower.
You didn't.
I fucking didn't.
Not even on Val's Day?
Val's day, my black ass.
You see what I'm saying?
It comes back to you're
afraid of your emotions,
that lover in you, that's why
you don't like Woody Allen.
If shagging your own daughter--
She wasn't his daughter,
If shagging your own daughter
is what you call being romantic,
then yes, I'm not romantic.
She wasn't his daughter,
and in any way,
don't use words
like that shagging,
I hate it when people
use words like that.
Why [indistinct] love
making, making love,
shagging, shafted.
They copulate Jesus Christ,
were they train carriages?
He had carnal knowledge and
aware on a butcher slap.
I mean, Jesus Christ, I'd
rather, you said they fucked,
at least that's unpretentious
and it captures something of
the essence of... [laughs]
I'm a new man.
Oh, really?
Yeah, take it from me,
it's the only way I
get laid these days
and look,
it's all right to do that
Woody Allen is a prick thing.
Just don't lay it on
too thick, al right?
For the 109,094th time,
I'm telling you Woody
bloody Allen is...
He's coming out.
* Every breath you take *
* Every move you make *
* Every step you,
every bond you break *
* I'll be watching you *
[humming]
[birds chirping]
* Sometimes you see
you [indistinct] *
Excuse me.
Excuse me, sir.
[gun fires]
[dog barks]
[Paul screams]
[police car sirens]
Come on, Paul.
Paul, come on.
[birds chirping]
[guns fires]
[car engine revving]
Paul, what the fuck bro.
Move, get out, move.
Oh, shit.
Shut up!
Shut up.
[AD cries]
Okay, let's go.
Let's move.
Come on.
Morning.
Okay, let's go.
Drive out of here.
Move the car, go!
[George] Oh, God.
Oh, I saw the car outside,
but didn't think you'd be
back not this time of day.
This is my mother-in-law, Cathy.
[AD] It's all right,
it's all right.
[indistinct] No kids
will be back soon.
Don't worry grandma,
George is in safe hands.
-Get out.
-No, God!.
[slow gentle music]
[George] What?
[Paul] Just get out of here,
park up somewhere quite.
[car engine revving]
[Reporter] [indistinct]
the magician,
who accidentally turned
his wife into a sofa
and his son into a footstool.
They rushed to emergency
now after waiting hours
in a hospital reception
about any news,
the magician phones
and asks how they were.
And, the doctor
says, "Comfortable."
[reporter laughs]
Well, if you've just joined us,
you're listening to
the comedy hour, SFM.
I've got a question.
You didn't mean it when
you promise to let me go,
didn't you?
Yes.
You, meant it?
Yes, George, we meant it.
So, what makes you
think we didn't?
No, no.
[bright upbeat music]
Drive George, N25.
N25.
[AD] It was the morning
of my father's funeral.
Come on, man, everyone's
waiting downstairs.
Just a moment.
What's are looking for?
Why is Becky not here
today of all days?
Why should Becky be
here, today of all days?
Because she happens to be
your girlfriend, big brother.
Your father dies
and your girlfriend doesn't
even have the common courtesy
to phone, let alone drop
by to condole your family.
I think it sucks.
You know why she isn't here?
Last time I brought her home,
mother kept calling
her Ms. Hamilton
for whole bloody
back holiday weekend.
What's wrong with that?
Mother's always
been a formal soul.
So tell me once
again, Ms. Hamilton,
how did you meet my son?
Mother's wicked man.
Hey listen brother
man, I need a loan.
-Tola!
-No, AD, I'm serious.
I ain't got it.
You're still job hunting?
I've got a couple of interviews
lined up for next week.
50 quid, AD, I'll pay you back
as soon as I get my check
from my weekend job.
I haven't even go 50P
let alone 50 quid.
Could this be what
you're looking for?
How did you come by that.
You are two face
lying bastered, AD.
How the fuck did
you come by that?
To discover my own brother,
my own flesh and blood, is
an undercover policemen.
Answer me, Tola, where?
You dropped out your
coat pocket this morning.
-Where?
-Downstairs.
Did anybody see me it?
No.
[sombre music]
[AD] Father died barely a
weekend into his retirement,
a heart attack.
It's almost the day,
exactly 30 years since he
left Lagos as a young man
in search of the golden fleece.
He ended up spending the
bear part of those years
chasing fair Duchess
on the Northern Line.
[Pastor] Go in peace
the service has ended.
* Oh, Lord, my God, How
excellent is your name *
* Oh, Lord, My God, How
excellent is your name *
[AD] Ma' I want to be on
my own for a little while.
I'll make my way back home.
[Ajibade] Bye, son.
* Oh, Lord, My God, How
excellent is your name *
* Oh, Lord, My God, How
excellent is your name *
* Oh, Lord, My God, How
excellent is your name *
* Oh, Lord, My God, How
excellent is your name *
* Oh, Lord, My God, How
excellent is your name *
[AD] I looked up
and there he was.
Paulo!
I hadn't seen him
in three years.
Paulo!
I'm sorry I'm late, man,
I came as soon as I heard.
[bright upbeat music]
Is great to see you man.
The main man.
Let's get out of here.
Is your mom taking it all right?
She's...
Well, I'm a little
bit worried about her.
She's killing
herself with grief.
She's been talking about, she
wants to go back to Nigeria.
Haven't been back
there since they left,
before me and my
brother were born.
Tola and I, like to go with her,
see the place for the first
time, chill out there for a bit.
But the travel you need dosh,
and that, I haven't gotten.
And Tola, still a student.
As an undercover cop,
I'd been told to
constantly reinvent myself
to take up other people's
lives and stories
that ticks and twitches,
and rend them to where.
I've not even got a job.
So, enough about me,
what have you been up to
since you say
suddenly disappeared?
I didn't disappear, AD.
So, where you been,
Paul?
Come here, let me
show you something.
Picked her up this
morning, what do you think?
What do I think?
What do you think?
I think she's the most
beautiful, the most gorgeous,
the most seductive wicked
thing I ever set eyes on.
Yeah, definitely the it.
Can I?
Yo, so what's the story?
What's the story.
Yeah, what's the story.
-The story is this G.
-[AD] This G.
-Let's call him Bill.
-[AD] Bill.
Aha, Bill goes up for job.
[AD] Aha.
-All he's got to do,
-[AD] Yeah, get a job.
Aha, is answer a
couple of questions.
[AD] Just a couple of questions?
Yeah, more or less.
The questions are,
who is Neil Kinnock?
Donald's Bill,
Margaret Thatcher--
Don't know either, says Bill
and the punchline is
you've got your friends
and I've got mine.
That's the way it goes.
You've got your friends
and I've got mine.
I don't get it.
The point is at
the end of the day,
no matter where we've
been, what we've done,
where we're at, at
the end of the day,
what really truly
matters on the big ideas.
At the end of the day,
what really counts
are the tiny things,
the small everyday
things that we live with,
touch, breathe in.
Paul, talk to me.
I'm talking to you.
You're not talking to me,
you're trying to be profound.
Well all I'm trying to say...
Trying to be profound, fuck you.
All I'm saying is at
the end of the day,
what matters more than
anything else is friends.
What I'm saying to you shit
face is that I'm on a roll.
I've got the key.
Are you coming along?
Let's go for a ride.
* One, two, three, four *
* Get up , get on up *
* Get up , get on up *
* Stay on the scene, get on up *
* Like a sex
machine, get on up *
* Get up , get on up *
* Get up , get on up *
* Stay on the scene, get on up *
* Like a sex
machine, get on up *
* Get up , get on up *
* Stay on the scene, get on up *
* Like a sex
machine, get on up *
* Wait a minute,
shake your arm. *
* And use your form *
* Stay on the scene *
* Like a sex machine. *
* You got to have the feeling *
* Sure as you're born *
* Get it together *
* Right on, right on *
* Get up , get on up *
* Get up , get on up *
* Get up , get on up *
* Huh *
* Get up , get on up *
* Get up , get on up *
* Get up , get on up *
* Get up , get on up *
* You said *
* You said you got the *
* You said the feeling *
* You got to get *
* You give me the fever *
* And a cold sweat *
* The way I like, it
is the way it is *
* I got mine, don't
worry about his *
* Get up , get on up *
* Stay on the scene *
* Get on up *
* Like the sex
machine, get on up *
I wanna call me, moderation,
an original gangster man.
[speaking in foreign language]
Watch this.
[bright reggae music]
Yes, please.
Oliver Champagne, please.
Don't worry about
it, it's on me.
So, what do you think, like it?
Is not bad.
This is where the
big boys hang out.
Look over there,
[indistinct] band.
See, that guy in a tie,
in less than 48 hours,
he'll be dead.
Yeah, and who's your
name, Mr. Thomas?
No, my name is Paul.
So, who is he?
Don't know, never
seen him before.
But you know he's gonna
be dead in 48 hours.
I was given descriptions,
I was told he was
gonna be at tonight,
I've been told to kill him.
What?
Someone just walked up to you
and said, "Excuse me, Paul,
when you got a moment,
would you mind knocking off
that Israel over there please?
You're a fucking genius.
I'm not pissed off Paul.
So, we job done.
I mean, once the word gets
out, you get all sorts.
One guy comes up to me,
wants me to put a bullet
through his next
door neighbours ear.
Why?
'Cause the neighbour is
annoying them with loud music
at all hours.
And you dutifully carried
out a contract, I presume..
No.
I first advise him to go to
have a word with his neighbour
about the noise and
see what happens.
What happened?
What happened is,
the next door neighbour
then gets in touch
and tells me the guy next
door is threatening my life.
He says, I've got to sort him
out first or he'll get me.
I thought fair
enough, self-defense.
So I took out his contract.
You killed the first man?
The man that complained
about the noise.
Yeah.
But why?
'Cause I knew the
noisy neighbour
had a genuine cause for concern.
God fucking blind me.
Where's the justice in that?
Well, don't you see it?
No, I don't.
The man's life was
being threatened AD.
Anyway, we're not talking
about justice here,
we're talking about
plain common sense.
So, why goes, if you're
telling me all this,
'Cause in less than 48 hours,
you're gonna be driving me over
to that Lizard's house in
Black heath to shoot him.
You're joking?
No, I'm not.
[bright reggae music]
[AD] The next morning, I told
my boss what was happening
and he decided to set a trap
to catch Paul in Flagrante,
as he put it.
I was instructed to go
along with Paul's plan.
I had to pick Paul up from his
hotel at 4:30 in the morning
and drive into Lazard's.
You reach Marvin Lazard's
residence at 0530 hours,
his regimen is to go
jogging every morning,
six o'clock with his dog.
So, now this is where the
in theory bit comes in.
In theory, you wait for him
to come across the field
in front of his house,
you drive towards him
and Paul guns him down.
That's what's supposed to
happen, in practise however,
the plan changes the
moment Lazard comes running
and you start
moving towards him.
In a matter of seconds,
the entire area will be
flooded with armed police
His assassination is
averted, we arrest Paul,
and invite Lazard
in for questioning.
You come out of it
smelling of roses.
How does that strike you?
You promised me that
nothing will go wrong, sir.
Yes.
No one will get hurt.
There's no need to worry AD,
will go as smooth as clockwork,
there'd be no
bloodshed whatsoever.
AD,
Sir.
Good luck.
[Paul] Oh-oh.
[intense music]
Can you turn your
engine off please, sir.
May I see your driving
licence, please sir?
You're cab drivers, sir?
[George] Yes, officer.
What phone do you work for?
And, where you headed?
Paula,
Al right, sir.
Do you have any form
of ID on you sir's?
Of course, officer,
though, we'd very much
appreciate it if...
It's a bit complicated,
my wife is in--
Don't Paul.
We're expecting--
I said don't do that.
[Police Officer] Armed, officer.
[AD] You're under arrest.
You're not obliged to
say anything unless
you wish to do so,
but I must warn you,
Whatever you do say may be taken
down and given in evidence.
[Paul laughs]
No.
[AD] A copper.
A snitch.
A copper.
Look, I tried to
back out of this job.
You're a dead, man,
I don't mean me.
You fucked up big time,
What happened to Louis?
He was picked up this morning.
How come they shoot you?
Probably because she
was shooting at them,
I guess they kinda felt
they should shoot back.
Al right, tell your friends,
I'm coming out peacefully
and on my own free will.
I don't want any
accidents, okay.
Okay.
Boy, you're fucked.
Coming out.
Paul don't!
When we were kids, we
used to play a game,
I'd say, "And the man
who walked the water
and tied the wells
tailing a knot,
taught the little
fishes how to swim,
cross the burning sands and
shook the devil's hand."
And Paul respond,
"I rode around the world
on the back of a snail,
carrying his sacks, saying AML.
Walked 99 miles of barbed wire
and used the Cobra
snake for a tie.
It was rough.
It was tough.
It was cold, call my bluff."
[gun fires]
I'm really glad he's turned
out differently for you.
I'm happy for your mother.
I'm really happy
for your mother.
Once again, that you do?
[AD] I work for the DSS.
You know, he was always
going on about you.
Did you know that?
He'd have given anything
to be just like you.
[AD] I discovered
that my bosses plan
was a load of straight
face bullocks.
There was never any
intention of preventing Paul
from killing Marvin Lazard.
Lazard was a big
time drug dealer
and the police had been
trying to nail him for years.
It was simple, if the law
couldn't deal with Lazard
why stop someone else doing it,
and for shooting my friend
they offered me a promotion.
[bright upbeat music]
I feel like a piece of shit.
Hi, can I have a lift?
[clicks]
Yo, G.
The name, Lo and
motherfucking hold,
is Easy Mo-Jo,
that's Easy Mo-Jo.
Easy-going, easy cheesy,
upstate Daisy, freaky deaky.
Hot and cold, high and low,
super ultra Meghan nice.
You got the Mazuma,
I got what you need, baby.
Who the fuck are you?
Easy Mo-Jo, I thought you heard.
And I know who you
are, Mr. Jack Lord,
Hawaii 5034999.
Look, you've been watching
too much telly, bro.
And if I'm Five-O', why
you trying to sell me that?
I ain't selling
you nothing, man.
Check your note.
You got a nerve, trying
to sell me a piece of gum
for a hundred pounds.
Free market, my man,
that's what I say.
Cool runners my man.
Life, she's bitch says easy
Mo-Jo, copyright control.
Get the fuck outta here.
Okay, Easy.
I'd love to play games,
buy and go all night.
And this time, no
chewing gum, yeah.
I need this shit real bad, man.
Diro, left town in a
hurry, Babylon's driving.
Al Right, you're cool.
[Easy laughs]
So, what made you think
I might be a copper?
I just checking you out, man.
I ain't seen your
face on it before
and listen, I got
a shoot, big up,
do the right thing, stay black.
Yo Easy, look what I got.
Come on, man.
Get in the car.
Where you're taking me, man?
Where'd you feel like going?
Where do I feel like going?
Where'd you wanna die?
[laughs] I don't wanna die.
I'm going to kill you.
Why are you doing
this to me, man?
Why are you doing this to me?
Because I just like you.
You were right, I am Five-O.
You think I'm fucking with you.
Is that what you think?
Is that what you think?
You think I'm fucking with you?
You think I'm fucking with you.
You think I'm fucking with you.
Is that what you think?
Is that what you think,
I'm fucking with you?
You think I'm fucking with you?
I ain't fucking with you,
I aint fucking with nobody.
I'm fucking with you
like I fucked with you.
I fucking, fuck it, fuck, fuck,
I ain't fucking with you.
Fuck it, fuck, fuck, fuck.
[breathes heavily]
[slow gentle music]
* Man think about a
little bit of baby girls *
* And a baby boys *
* Man make them happy *
* 'Cause men make them toys *
* And after man
makes everything *
* Everything he can *
* Do you know that
man makes money *
* To buy from other men *
* This is a man world *
* But it wouldn't be
nothing, nothing, *
* Not one little thing
without a woman or a girl *
* He's lost in the wilderness *
* He's lost *
[AD] It was only when I
got home that I remembered.
Easy, Easy.
Easy man, I'm
really sorry, okay.
I dunno what happened
out there tonight.
Oh, God.
-Oh, God.
-Stop.
Oh, God.
Oh, God.
I'll just go inside
and get the keys.
Just give me two seconds, okay.
And, I'll call an
ambulance as well.
[car engine revving]
Shh!
[intense music]
Clear off, will ya'.
I say clear off.
Did you hear me?
Are you sure that's him?
[gun shot fires]
[car engine revving]
[AD] I'll be 99
miles of barbed wire
and use the Cobra
snake for a tie,
across the burning sands
and shook the devils hand.
[bright reggae music]