Scott & Bailey (2011–2016): Season 1, Episode 6 - Episode #1.6 - full transcript

Three months have elapsed and Janet returns to work. Rachel is living with Nick but Janet feels he is using her to prevent her from reporting his malpractice and, after Rachel is the victim of a hit-and-run linked to a client of Nick's, tells Gill everything. Gill, despite her own problems caused by her vengeful ex-husband, decides against reporting Rachel. Ultimately not only does Janet prove herself to be a good colleague but solves a teenager's murder.

Right. See you at teatime.

-Don't go overdoing it.

I'll come with you.

-To say hello to everybody.

-Thank you, sir.
-Ah, it's good to see you.

Hip hip! Hooray! Hip hip!
Hooray! Hip hip! Hooray!


-Can I get a hug?
-'Course you can, handsome.

Thank you, Andy. Oh...

-You planned this.
-Yeah, well.


Um, thank you, um.

-Well, I don't know what to say...
-There's a novelty.

Um, but, no.

Um, thank you, all of you,
for all your support and, uh...

Thank you.

Gill sends her apologies, she's on her way.

We've just picked one
up in Wythenshawe.

But she's asked me to say, "welcome back."

We've all missed you.

The place hasn't been the same without you.

And we're just
delighted you're here,

all in one piece.

Some people will do anything
to have three months off work.

We thought we'd finally
got rid of you, Janet.

Beam me up, Scotty.

You knew about this.

Get a room.

I need you
to send me an ambulance, please.

-Can you tell me what happened?
-He's been shot!

Somebody shot! him! He's all bleeding! Shit!

- ls he conscious?
- No. He's dead.

Oh, God! Oh, my God!

I've got an ambulance on
its way to you now love.

Can you tell me, is the person
who shot him still here?

Can you hear ms, love?

Kid's hung up.

Wasn't at the scene when
the paramedics arrived.

The victim was still breathing,
14-year-old Dylan Holroyd.

The bullet went through his mobile phone,

straight into his earhole,
shattered the phone,

part of which is lodged inside his brain.

They get him to hospital,
catastrophic damage.

The whole skull's gone on the side,

but the surgeon manages to remove
the phone fragments from his brain.

But the kid dies anyway at
quarter past four this morning.

So, I'm trying to pin down an
outside telecoms specialist

who can reconstruct the
phone from the fragments.

-Is that possible?
-Find out, won't we?

The lad that left the message,
according to the victim's mum,

is his best mate, Frank Goff, 15 years old.


Division picked him up at
stupid o'clock this morning.

Sat in a garage forecourt,
crying his eyes out.

He's downstairs now,
refusing to speak to anyone.

So, that interview's a priority.

Janet, welcome back, cock.

How are you fixed for trying to get
a statement out of this kid for me?

What's her ladyship
so cheerful about?

Oh, well, there's an ugly rumour
circling in corridors that...

-She's got a new fella.
-Ooh! Good for her.

And we've been waiting for you to get back

so you can get all the gossip out of her.

And, uh, what about you, madam?

Spring in your step,
don't think I haven't noticed.

-You'll think I'm nuts.


Oh, he's changed.

He's had such a kick in the
teeth over the last few months.

I really think he's realised a few things.

And he was there that whole week,
when we didn't know whether you were...

I was all over the place.
I had no one to go home to.

And he cared. And...

I didn't fall for it straight away, Janet.

It's not like we're living together, yet.

Taking it steady,
going in with my eyes open.

His divorce is coming
through, and...

He's a different person, honestly.
If you met him, you would see.

All right.

Let's get this lad talking.

Are you all right? Hey, Janet.

Um, no. No. No, I'm not.

Do you know what I think?

I think Nick knows that you could
make life very uncomfortable for him,

knowing what you know about
him sleeping with that juror,

so he's desperate to stay
on the right side of you.

And, yeah, not that it's any of my business,

I do think you're nuts.

And, um, can you do me a favour?

And this is my business.

The next time you PNC a
vehicle for your own purpose,

or perjure yourself in court,

or disclose confidential
information to Nick,

can you not tell me about it?

- He's frightened, Janet.
-Of what?

What are you frightened of, Frank?


To the police.

That's why he called from the callbox.
That's why he legged it.

He's frightened whoever did
it will come after him next

if he doesn't keep his mouth shut.

Frank, nobody needs to know
that you've talked to us.

The way that we
record your evidence,

it can all be done absolutely anonymously.

Frank, we have to start somewhere.
And you found Dylan.

That makes you a very
important person.

Don't you think that we owe it to
Dylan to find out who did this to him?

He was your best mate, wasn't he?

Do you not think he deserves it?



I was in the bathroom.

-Which bathroom?
-Dylan's bathroom.

We were just watching the telly.

-1 went for a wee....
- Yeah.

And then...

I heard the door being kicked in.

-Which door?
-Front door.

And this voice going,

"You're gonna die."

Are we cutting this cake, Janet?

Of course.

- You got a second, Jan?
-Um, yeah, sure.


Um, you lot help yourselves.

Anyway, I didn't
want to have a word.

-How's the lad?
-In shock, struggling.

I had a phone call last
week from the psychologist

that's been dealing
with Geoff Hastings.

You're under absolutely
no obligation to say yes,

given that Hastings stabbed you,

but he was wanting to know if you'd
be interested in helping him.

-Hastings won't talk about the killings.

They've had tier five
interviewers going in from HQ

and they've got nothing from him.

The thing is he says,
if you go in, he'll talk.

-We're aware that it's unorthodox.
-To put it mildly.

And you would have to undergo a
psychological assessment yourself.

And as I say, you're under no obligation...


No. Fine.

At least 21 people have been killed

over three days of
protests across the country


You know, I spent ages organizing
the balloons, the helium, all then.

Pfft! All that shit.

And, um, all anyone else had
to do is go and pick stuff up,

and she talks to me like bollocks and
everyone else is fucking wonderful!

Well, why?

Do you wanna marry me?

I'm proposing to you. Do you wanna marry me?

-Uh, well, I, um, I can't, 1...
-After the divorce goes through.

I didn't think so.

-Have you?
-What? Been at the bottle? Yeah.

You know, she implied...

No, she didn't.
She didn't imply, she said it.

She said that the only reason
that you're going out with me

is because you're frightened
I'll wreck your life for you,

if you don't stay on the right side of me.

Are you?


But you don't wanna marry me?

I wish you wouldn't talk
to your colleagues...

-Am I just kidding myself?
-About what?

-About this? About us?
-1 wish you wouldn't drink.

You drink.

But to that extent,
before you even get here.

-Did Caroline not like a little drink?
-Can we not talk about Caroline?

Or Martine, what about her?

You know, I said to her.
I said, "He's changed."

But, you know, she's amazing, Janet.
Because she cuts straight to the chase,

she goes right for the jugular.

Rachel, I have changed.

And I don't give a damn
what Janet thinks or says.

I just think getting married is...

-It's a big step.
-She's right, though. Isn't she?

Well, I don't know, because you
haven't told me what she said yet!

You're just protecting your
own paltry little carcass!

That is just rubbish.

First thing tomorrow,
I'm gonna go to Godzilla's office,

and I'll tell her all about you
and your little juror friend,

-or I might just do it right now.

What? Don't make calls when you're pissed?

Or only in emergencies.

All right, look, we'll get married.

-We'll get married.

If this is what it takes to
prove to you that I love you,

we'll get married. I just wish
you wouldn't get like this!

I'm sorry.

It's all right.

-Is it?

I had a really shit day
after she'd had a go at me.

I've never fallen out with that woman,
not for more than 10 minutes. And 1...

And I just, I was....

I just started to think things,
so I'm sorry.

You've been smoking?

Yeah. Sorry.

I'll go and brush my teeth.

Can we lose these balloons, please, ladies?

-No, you're all right. I'll do it.
-Oh, sorry.

You know, I organised
all this stuff.

I mean, everyone wanted to do it,
but it was Muggins here

that pulled her finger out and did stuff.

Well, it was very nice.
I appreciated it. Thank you.

Why is it that perfectly intelligent,
seriously attractive women

end up with blokes who aren't
fit to polish their boots?

You know, I could say
that about you and Adrian.

You know what? Ade might
have one or two faults,

but you can hardly compare
him to that arrogant prick.

He's asked me to marry him.

Oh, that's clever.

Because then you can't be compelled
to give evidence against him in court

if anyone tries to get him sent
down for sleeping with the jury.

-Piss off.
-Open your eyes!

-You know, he's changed.
-Open your eyes, Rachel!

-What's up?

It's Sammy. It's fine. It's his "A" Levels.

I don't want you to take this the wrong way.

Don't you think,
right in the middle of his exams

is the wrong time for you to
be taking up with another man?

How dare you!

After all the turmoil and upheaval
and disruption you caused that boy!

How dare you!

-He's not happy.
-That's rubbish.

This is about you, not him.

Despite the fact,
you walked out on me and him.

Despite the fact,
you were at it with all and sundry

for God knows how long,
you can't stand the idea

I could possibly get into bed
with someone else, can you?

-1 knew you'd take it the wrong way.

-On your bike, mush.
-I've told him,

if he wants to move in with me
and Emma for a little while,

he's more than welcome.

He seemed quite keen.

How have you managed that then?
Promised to buy him a car?

No, Dave, you can't do that.

I told him I would buy him a car

when he got his "A" Level results,
if they were good enough,

so you'd better
retract that promise.

-I'm not retracting a thing.
-You fucking arsehole.



Off duty police officer calling about 11:23.

We've got a kid hit by a car.

We need an ambulance.
It's Woodford Road in Chadderton.

Yeah, she's conscious, but she's had
her legs taken out from under her.

All right, love. All right.

You'll be all right.
We've got an ambulance on its way.

You, take your coat off.
All right, cover her up.

Hold her hand. Don't be frightened.

Oi, I want to talk to you. Police.

Oi! DC Bailey, MIT.

I'm chasing a man who's
running away from an RTC.

He's injured a teenage girl.
He's on his toes.

He's heading along Eastfield
Avenue towards the Broadway.


Hey, stop!

Move over, out of the way.

Will do. Thanks, ta-ta.

So, traffic says
the car was stolen.

The dead man they've identified
is Daniel Tipitt, 26 years old.

Small-time dickhead.

In and out of prison more times
than you've had hot dinners.

Was three times over the limit.

-How's the girl?
-Shattered pelvis, fractured skull.

- what?
-Carl Norris.

-What about Carl Norris?
-Don't know. Some connection.

Maybe this Tipitt
was one of his mob.

Anyway, death by misadventure,
no human involved,

just one low life no longer
on the streets, end of.

-You all right?

That's the main thing.




The guy last night had something
to do with Carl Norris.

You there?

Yeah, how'd you mean?
How do you know?

Because Godzilla just told me.
I mean, she's all over it.

The traffic inspector from D
division just rang her up.

-But... So...
-50, if wasn't an accident.

That car was supposed to hit me,

and, you know, what I'm
wondering is how the hell...


-Have you spoken to him?
-Don't be ridiculous.

-Well then, how would he know?
-Rachel, I don't know.

I don't think he did, I'm sure he
didn 'i know anything about it.

If was just an accident

You... Obviously it was.

I mean, he has any number of people
hanging around in Manchester.

Carl Norris, I mean...



Look, uh, I've got to go.
I'm due in chambers.

Right. Yeah.

I'll talk to you later, yeah?

I'm not overreacting.

Yes, well, I'm sorry if you think
it sounds like I'm shouting.

Oh, well, thanks for that, Sammy, thank you.
That really makes my day.

Yeah, you do that. You do that, kid. Fine.


-He's gone to live with him

and the whore,
who doesn't nag him like I do,

or talk to him like he's a baby.
So, isn't she fabulous!

Well, why has he gone there?

'Cause they're punishing me between them.

-'Cause I've been seeing someone.

Oh, how dare you try and have a
life and a career at the same time,

while still pretending that you can be
anything resembling a decent mother?

It's not funny. She wrecked my
marriage and now she's twirling my son

right in the middle of his
"A" levels as well.

He'll be back inside a week.
Watch this space.

And if he isn't, I'll ring the little sod up

and tell him what I think of him.

So, um, who is he?

This someone that you're seeing?

Chris Latham.

That DS from the MPIA that came in
to help with the Lynn Stott murder.

Oh, my God!

Gill Murray's got a toy boy.

You know? Why... I am
not the one who cheated,

so why am I made to feel like
an irresponsible, shit parent?

I'm sorry to have
to break it to you,

but, you see, we have different rules
for men and women, here on Earth.

Do you want to be a sergeant?

-You've got the exams.

-Well, yes, but...

-Why would I want...
-Andy's leaving.

-Think about it.

Also, think about, and tell me to do one,

but Geoff Hastings...

They think there may
be other victims.

Ones that have never turned up.

We need to get him talking.

You know, I'm amazed that
anyone would consider it

anything resembling appropriate to
put me in the same room as that man.

How do you know I wouldn't go
in there and rip his face off?

You know, it's one thing what he did to me,

but it's what he put my children
through that really pisses me off.

This request has come
through the head of MIT.

He thought it would be
appropriate to approach you,

because, number one,
you can say, "No".

And no one will think any the
less of you. I certainly won't.

Number two, he has so much respect for you,
he thinks you can handle it

and it's obviously important.

-Can I think about it?
-Of course.

I'm sorry if I spoke out of turn.

I don't want to fall out with you,
Rach, just the opposite.

I don't want to see you
getting mucked about by...


I don't think it was an accident,
last night.

I think I was targeted.

-1 think I'm meant to be dead.

He, the dead bloke, worked for Carl Norris.


-No, so...
-So how does Norris know

about what I know, about how Nick
compromised Norrie's court case

by sleeping with that juror?

There's only Nick that could have told him.


I'm sleeping with him and he's
talking to the biggest fucking

organised evil bastard
in Manchester.

-We're telling Gill.

-You've got no choice.
-She'll find out that I PNC'd his car.

Yes, she will but...

-It was only for an address.
-No, it was a discipline of fence.

It's Data Protection.

It's abusing your powers
as a police officer.

I begged you not to do it...

But, what? You'd rather be dead?

Suppose he doesn't stop?

His crew's messed up. They're
gonna know that you're on to them.


But why now? why is Nick telling
him now? why not before?

-It might not be Nick.
-Open your eyes, Rachel.

Who else is there?
You've just said it.

You know, I threatened him the other night.

I got drunk after you'd had
a go at me and I went back,

and I was saying what you were
saying about how he was having me on,

and then I threatened to shop him and
that's when he said he'd marry me.

-I'm telling Gill.
-You're not.

I am. I've had
enough of this bloke.

I've had enough of what he's doing to you,

and I've certainly had had
enough of what he's...

-Janet, I'm not losing this job.
-You're in danger.

Your life's in danger. This needs sorting.

All right. Um, how about this?

We tell Gill that you think
that you were targeted and why.

Don't tell her that I was still seeing him.

That's up to you.

We get whoever needs to
be arrested, arrested,

and then we deal with the
other stuff when it arises.

-If it arises. How about that?
-There is no "if".

Can you see any other choice?
Because I can't.

You come when you're ready,
but I'm talking to her now.

So Savage got in touch with you
after you had this chance encounter

with this lass, this Martine,
in Manchester...


To say, you'd better not say
anything about him sleeping with her

while he was representing
Carl Norris in court?


And he got in touch with
you three months ago?

Why are they attacking you now?

why not then?

-It's him.
- Answer it.

It's all right.
They've picked him up.

-What the hell is going on?

-Uh, I...
-You've got me into a lot of trouble.

Im being questioned by your people like
I've done something really bizarre.

They come into chambers and
I'm more or less arrested

in front of my colleagues.

-They actually arrested you?
-No, but...

You'd better get down here.
I'm at Middleton Police Station.

And you've got to tell them
that we're getting married

and this is ridiculous.

-Now! Right now.

Yeah, yeah, I will. I will.

Gill, there's something I've not told you.

I'm still seeing Nick and
we're getting married.

This is... It's mad.

It's not Nick, it's Norris.
I'm going to Middleton.

He's cross. He's upset.

I need to tell them that
I've made a mistake.



- I'm coming with you.

Because I want to
know what's going on.

I'm responsible for your welfare
and I take that very seriously.

Is there anything else you haven't told me?


Go and get your coat.

-What's going on?
-He's twirling her. He's a twat.

Carl Norris is a bright bloke.

Going after a police officer,
even for him, is off the Richter scale.

Do you think we can find links
between Savage and this Tipitt lad

independent of Norris?
Can we prove he knew him?

Did he ever represent him in court?

I'll ring Court
Records and find out.

Ma'am, it's DI Cochrane,
Syndicate Four, on line one.


-So, what has she said?

She just wants to make
sure that you're all right.

Thanks, Alec.

Carl Norris has just rung Middleton nick.

He's going in with his brief.

He's anxious to help the police
with their enquiries apparently.

-Is she all right?
-Um, I don't know.

You all right?

You're not leaving because of me?

-Who said I was leaving?
-She's offered me your job.

Were you just going to disappear
without saying anything?

-I'm moving on.

-You know why.

I did a lot of thinking
while I was off.

Did you?

-Life's short.
-1 know it is.

Don't go.

What are you saying?

I'm saying that...

And Frank Goff's coming in, in half an hour.

I think he knows more
than he's saying.

So, do you want me to make his pips squeak?

Would you mind?

I was nervous of telling you.

I thought you'd think I was
stupid seeing him again.

Janet does.

I know you don't like him.

Hey, listen,
you're talking to a woman

who had the wool pulled
over her eyes for years.

He isn't...

He wouldn't do this. He's a barrister.
He's not an idiot.

I know that you're frightened,

but, as you know, from your first interview,

your voice will be distorted.

So, I'm going to be straight with you here.

I don't think that you were in the
bathroom when the shooting happened.

You told me, if you recall,
that you locked the door

and you hid behind the shower curtain
when the shooting happened, didn't you?

Are you still saying that?

Because when I looked at,
the crime scene phofos of the bathroom,

uh, I couldn't see
any shower curtain.

So, what! would you say if I told you
that when I asked Dylan's mum about it,

she said that the shower curtain had
been ripped down three days before

when Dylan cams hams e bit worse far wear

and fell! over in the bath?

So, there was no shower
curtain there that day,

because she'd already binned
it and not replaced it.

So, I don't think that you were in
the bathroom that day, were you?

And I don't think that you were in
either of the bedrooms, or the kitchen,

because, if you had been,

you wouldn't have lied to me
about being in the bathroom.

Which leaves only one other room.

You see, I think that you
were in the room with Dylan

when he was shot.

I think, you're frightened
of something you've seen.

Come on, all this is completely anonymous.

I think that you saw something
and that you're frightened...

The gun, it just went off

in my hand.

I didn't realise that I
was pointing it at him.

-Well done.
-I'm good at this.

Who said you weren't?

Well, you know, three months off,
I thought I'd be rusty, but...

Do you think I should do this
Geoff Hastings interview thing?

I don't know, Janet.

-Are you okay?

-Who's this?
-It's my boss.

Oh, so that's Godzilla, is it?

None taken.

-Have you told them?
-It's fine. It's gonna be fine.

-Hello, Ma'am.

-Mr Savage?
-Yeah, what?

I'm arresting you on suspicion
of the attempted murder

of Detective Constable
Rachel Bailey.

You do not have to say anything,

but it may harm your defence if you
do not mention, when questioned,

something you later
rely on in court.

That is absolutely ridiculous.

If you can come through
to the custody suite...

-Are you gonna say something?
-It's just a process.

You haven't done anything, have you? $0...

-Why are they arresting him?
-They must have got something on him.

-Yeah? Like what?
-Hey, I'm good. I'm not a psychic.

You wind in your neck in, lady.
Me boss, you not.


-What have you got on Savage?
-Something absolutely...

-Is that her? Bailey?
-Yeah. what have you got?

I tell you, Carl Norris, he cracks me up.

I know, cut him in half,
he's got evil written right through him,

-but he's been in.
-Been in?

-Yeah, first thing...
-As in, been in and gone?

Yeah, first thing he says,
"Between you and me, Mr Cochrane,

"I wouldn't trust that bugger Nick Savage

-"further than I can chuck him."
-50 what have you got?

Nick Savage rang Carl Norris,
asked for a meeting with him.

Fortunately, for us,

Carl Norris, being the suspicious,
evil-minded git he is,

he decided that if a barrister suddenly
wanted to talk to him, uninvited,

it had to be for no good reason.

So, they meet in Norris' car,

and, unknown to Nick,

Norris has taken the precaution of
recording the conversation on his phone.

And you've not spoken to Car!
Norris for three years?


-Are you absolutely certain of that?

I'd like to show you something, Mr Savage.

It's a copy of exhibit
reference CN-1.

It's a recording that Mr Norris said he made

of a conversation you had with him.

And she knows that I had the,um,

this relationship with a girl in the jury

- So what are you saying?
- I'm not saying anything.

So what are you suggesting?

I'm not suggesting anything, I'm just...

- Just?
- Just flagging it up that this girl

could make life very
difficult for you.

Why me?

-I wasn't born yesterday.
-I'm not suggesting that you were.

Just 'cause you'd get struck off.

CPS would need new
evidence and {hers is none.

-I wasn't born yesterday.
-I'm not suggesting that you were.

And what sort of businessman
do you think I am, eh?

If you think Iwould harm a hair
on the head of a police officer,

you must be out of your {/ny mind

- Well, I wasn't suggesting that.
- So, what were you suggesting?

There've been developments in DNA

which could mean, and it's
not impossible, that the CPS

Would consider a re.trial in... certain circumstances.

- Yeah.

So, okay. What are we
talking about, exactly?

You want me to what? Eh?

I don't want anything.

You want me to do somethingg to this girl?

I'm just flagging if up for you.

- That's very kind of you.
- Well...

But you're overlooking the
fact that I was never guilty

in the first place.

I ought to smack you,
you soft bastard

jeopardising my trial 'cause you
can't keep your dick in your pants.

This conversation's over.
Get out of the car.

Go on, get out! And think
yourself lucky, shit for brains.

He represented Daniel
Tipitt three times in court.

He'd known him four or five years.

Daniel Tipitt had bad debts and
would do anything for cash.

Are you all right?

Can you just confirm that
that's you, Mr Savage?

He's looking at, what,
eight years before he even gets parole?

Banged up with hairy-arsed gorillas,
some of which he helped to put in there,

so they're gonna make a lovely fuss over him

when he gets inside Strangeways,
aren't they?

I did meet Norris, but, uh, that was it.
I didn't speak to anyone after at all.

Do you know a Daniel Tipitt,
Mr Savage?

Yes, I represemted him
in court several times.

Let's go back to my flat.

I think that's me.

-Are you still in the office?

Yeah, yeah, I thought I'd
wait for you. what happened?

-Do you want to go for a drink?
-Um, yeah, of course. What happened?

I'll tell you when I see you.


I've just been talking
to Alec Cochrane.

Can you explain to me

why, eight months ago,
you PNC'd Nick Savage's vehicle?

I found out he was married with kids,
and I wanted to know where he lived.

-Who else knows you did this?
-No one.

What are you gonna do?

The only... The only thing I can do,
when I speak to Professional Standards,

Is tell them that you are one of the best...
best young detectives

I've ever come across

and hope that someone,
somewhere, with some authority,

has the wisdom to appreciate
that that might mean something,

but this is MMP we're dealing with, so...

You know, don't hold your breath.

You know, we've all been there,

we've all had the piss taken out
of us by some ridiculous bloke.

And here's you,

this is all you've wanted to do,
all your life,

since you were knee-high,

and, now, that's your career down the toilet

because of him, Mr Knobhead
Arsehole Nasty Idiot.

And now, you, with all your talent,
and all your training,

and all your passion,
and all your commitment,

will be lucky to get a
job directing traffic.

-I'll work my way back in again.
-You'll never work in MIT again.

-Frank Goff's confessed.
- It was an accident.

The gun went off in his hand
when he was playing with it.

Dylan's own gun.

Uh, how did you get on?

Well done.


They charged him. Attempted murder.

She found out that
I PNC'd his vehicle

and she's gonna ring Professional Standards.

That's me in uniform for
the rest of my life.

Janet, what are you doing? Janet?

- Don't.

-Report her.

-Do you think I want to?
-She's been strung on for months,

years, by that bastard.

She's bright, she's clever,
she deserves this job.

-You know that.
-Alec Cochrane knows, so...

Alec Cochrane's retiring next week.
It'll never cross his mind again.

It's a discipline of fence, Janet.

It's a criminal of fence.
Her integrity is shot.

I was with her when she did it.

-No, you weren't.
-Yes, I was.

-She's just told me no one else knew.
-Well, she's lying.

We were driving into the
mortuary eight months ago.

Imal Yilmaz.
In fact, it was my idea.

Not to PNC the vehicle, but it was
my idea to find out where he lived.

So, if you're reporting her,
you're reporting me.

Don't do this to me.

-Because you know I play by the rules.
-You can choose not to do this.

Professionally, I agree,
it might be the right thing to do.

-Morally, however, it's rubbish.
-1 can't believe you'd do this to me.

We've been friends for, God, 18, 19 years!

Yeah, so I'm not doing
it lightly, am I?

No, and when I report you both
to Professional Standards,

I won't be doing it fucking
lightly either, Janet.

-What are you doing?
-Life is short,

and then, oh, shit, you die.
And you never know the day, Rachel.

-Where are you going?

You coming?

-What's going on?

Get out!

-You've got kids, you've got a mortgage.
-I know, I know, I know.

So why did you?

Well, I thought she'd listen,
I thought I knew her, but...

Oh, God! I've done to her
exactly what you did to me.

I've put her in an
impossible position. Oh, God!

Oh, God, I shouldn't have come back to work.
I wasn't ready. I wasn't ready.

If either one of you ever,
ever lets me down over this,

I will come after you and I
will kill you, both of you,

and I will get away with
it because I know how.

-I'm really sorry, Gill.


-Have I still got a job?

-Um, would you like a drink?

I'll get you a glass.

Could we have a glass?

Here you go.


Could we have a pint?

Thank you, Gill.

I've decided that I will help
interview Geoff Hastings.


-2.90, please, love.

There you go.

Does anybody know any good jokes?

I know some bad ones.