Scorpion (2014–2018): Season 4, Episode 5 - Sci Hard - full transcript

Team Scorpion is taken hostage during a tech convention.

- Is my tie too short?
- It's fine.

What about my collar?

I'll straighten it
for the hundredth time,

if that calms you.

Why are you so stressed
about some nerd gala?

Vor is the Norse
goddess of wisdom,

and the Vor Collective is
the top one percent

of the top
one percent of minds.

It's as if Mensa had
its own Mensa,

and that's why
I need your help.

- My help? With what?
- Yeah.



These people are
all geniuses,

and you know how
to talk to my kind

better than I do.

So you will charm the
pants off the membership,

and once they see
that I'm with someone

as incredible as you,

they will realize that
they were wrong about me

and let me back
into the club.

Allowing you back in?

Why are you... Why are you
telling me this now?

And what did you do
to have a fallout?

Nothing.

It's a small disagreement,

easily rectified with
your social skills.



So, uh, focus, you're on.

Oh, boy.

Sir, here you are.

Thank you.
My pleasure.

That's very...
Gentlemen.

O'Brien, you got some nerve
showing your face here.

Oh, Vadat.

What a sense of humor.
Darling...

Thank you. Cheers.
Your wine.

Hold a moment.
She's with you?

Yes. She is my
girlfriend.

We've been intimate.

Unnecessary detail.

Ms. Dineen, you have been
a pleasure to talk to,

but none of us are willing
to engage with this man.

He's currently
on probation.

Yes, he told me that
he and the group had

some kind of small disagreement,

but surely we can
bury the old hatchet.

Disagreement?

Is that what you told her?

Nine members were hospitalized.

Hospitalized?

What did you do?

He infected us with

Shigatoxigenic serotype E. Coli.

I was merely trying
to prove my theory

that certain bacteria
could survive

in an animated state that...

You brought a pathogen
to a dinner party.

So everybody could see.

In ice cubes.
Oh, boy.

In a crystal ice bucket.

I had to bring them
in ice so that

they could reach
suspended animation,

and these parties
are fancy.

Or would you have preferred
a Styrofoam chest?

I would have preferred
not to contract what my doctor

described in his report as--

excuse my directness--

“explosive diarrhea.”

I didn't think anyone would
actually digest the cubes.

You could have stopped
after “I didn't think.”

Ms. Dineen, it has truly
been my pleasure

to meet you.
Mr. O'Brien,

until the board makes
a final determination

as to your membership status,
I suggest you go.

Well, that was...

A total disaster?

Aw, come on,
it can't be that bad.

Your shocks are shot,
the brakes are worn through,

leaks like a full diaper.

Leaks what?
Oil,

coolant, transmission fluid,

brake fluid,
power-steering fluid.

And I can't get
that Laura Branigan cassette

out of the tape player

without taking apart
the whole radio.

Why did you buy this heap?

'Cause in addition to taking
my passport, gun, and badge,

Homeland also took back
my SUV two days ago.

I know why
we're all poor.

Elon Musk aside, most
geniuses suck with money.

But you've had
a steady job for decades.

Yeah, a steady government
law enforcement job.

It's not exactly
the road to riches.

I had $65K saved,
and I gave each of you

$10K to start paying
you back for my bail.

We told you not to do that,
dummy.

Cabe Gallo doesn't owe.

I'm down to my last 15 grand,

and I bought
this car for 500,

and now you're telling me
it's not worth...

My time.

Might not conk out on you
today or tomorrow,

but it will soon.

I can fix it, but parts alone
will run you thousands.

Never took you
for a whitewalls guy.

Yeah, well, I haven't
been myself lately.

Took my gun and my tin.

Now I got a badge
that says “intern.”

Now that you mention it,
I could use a coffee.

That's very funny.

But I'll get you a cup
because you helped with the car.

No, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no.

No café con leche,
por favor.

Happy, shame on you.

Come on, I need to get
perked up.

You need to get
knocked up,

and coffee's a
violation of STORK.

Oh, I don't want
to know about this.

Oh, I'm glad you asked.

Happy and I have conceived
a conception plan.

It's called STORK.

“S” is for sexy time
only at moments

of optimal fertility.

I'm not interested
in your sexy time.

I'm barely interested
in our sexy time.

“T” is temperature.

I'm gonna keep my gooty
at a cool 97 degrees

to maximize efficacy
of my spermatozoon.

So all boxers,
no briefs.

I don't want coffee anymore.
I feel sick.

“O” is for organic.

Treat our bodies
like all-natural shrines.

“R”... reduce stress.

And “K,”
keep the tenets of STORK.

Coffee is a stimulant that
increases blood pressure

just like stress,
so that's a no-go.

And I-I seriously doubt

that the sludge
that Cabe's making

is organic.

It definitely is not.

What's with you guys
and the acronyms?

Now that you've told Cabe
how you plan to impregnate me,

I'd like to leave.

We need to get to that

Tech-Splosion conference
now, anyway.

Mm, yeah, we should
drum up some work

to fill little
Tobina's college fund.

Well, Walt and Paige said
they'd meet us there.

I can give you guys a ride.
Plenty of room.

No way am I getting
into that death trap.

That thing is
on its last legs.

Come on, husband.
I'm driving.

All right,
suit yourself.

But this old gal,
she ain't that bad.

♪ Calling Gloria... ♪

Son of a...

♪ Gloria ♪

♪ Don't you think
you're fallin'? ♪

♪ If everybody wants you... ♪

Excuse me, sir.

You're here to take
the bar exam?

Uh, yes. I took the
first half yesterday.

You weren't here.

The proctors rotate.

Mr. Cohen and I are
on duty today.

You seem confused.

Um... yes.

Someone is sitting
where I sat yesterday,

and I thought it was
same-seatsies.

No, not same-seatsies.
Sit wherever you want.

Most students cluster based on
where they went to law school.

Oh, I didn't go
to law school.

You don't have a law degree?

How do you expect
to pass the bar?

I studied on the flight.

Just find a desk.

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You've been pretty
quiet this morning.

One might say moody.

You'd be moody, too,

if you were just thrown out
of a world-class think tank

like the Vor Collective.

Yep. That mood
would be elation.

They're a bunch
of nerd-turds.

Who cares if they don't
like you, Walter?

Uh, that is easy for you to say.

Y-You waltz in,
and in two seconds

they're eating out of your hand.

I can't get humans to like me,

I can't get the mentally enabled
to accept me.

I'm a man without a home.

You have a home.

Scorpion's your home.
I'm your home.

No, I-I know, I just...
this Vor situation,

it's... it's deflating.

Well, then... inflate yourself.

You're in dork heaven.

No, there's a robotics booth,
there's a Trelfie station,

where you take traveling
selfies or something.

Oh, wow, I guess.

Oh, I am excited to
see Richard Elia's

new E-Life presentation.

The E-Life by Elia line
provides high-end

home security, uh,

virtual reality
home movies,

wellness monitoring.

But what I'm really
excited to see

is his new phone banking app.

“Underwritten with
over a billion dollars

“in private equity,
E-Life banking

“provides the common man

Wall Street-quality
financial advice for free.”

All through

Barnaby, the Banking Butler.

It's a digital interface to
make the whole experience fun.

You know about the software?

When I was working with Elia,
right after you fired me...

Water under the bridge.

They were coding
the app software.

I'm surprised he's
unveiling it today,

'cause they were way behind
just a few months ago.

Brought all the boxes.

What, what the hell is this?

Oh, these are the boxes
from in the trailer.

No, I said the boxes
by the trailer,

not in the trailer.

Intern.

Well, they all say “marketing.”

Oh, that's stuff
Ray put together

during the month
he took over Paige's job.

Right after you fired me.

Really got to let that go.

Can you just go get the stuff
I made? Posters, flowcharts...

Morning traffic,
he won't get back

before things start up here.

Just dig through the box,
see if there's

anything salvageable.

Oh, man, it's Vadat.

Okay, let's just play it cool.

Hey, Vadat, so, uh,
it's really funny

to be seeing you
two days in a row.

Are you...

you looking forward
to a little Tech-Splosion?

Ms. Dineen, it's lovely
to see you again.

We've got a booth
to recruit new members,

so feel free to stop by
for refreshments.

Our ice is safe.

Hey, Walt.

I found a DVD.

Scorpion.

Computers.

Adventure!

Sinkhole!

Whatever your needs,

Scorpion is genius.

Star wipe.

Wow.

Impressive.

Oh, that just ruined
any chance I have

of getting back
into the Vor Collective.

Uh, Walter, it was
not about the video.

I have two words for you:

explosive diarrhea.

And that's my cue
to go take a walk.

Ray Spiewack is a man of action.

He's the leader of the Scorpion.

Ray Spiewack is super sexy.

Come on, everybody,
we're gonna have some fun.

Stressed out?

Job pressures?

Wish you could
shut out the world?

And how.

Try the Senseless
3000, the future

of high-tech
sensory deprivation.

This one
of those quiet tanks?

Oh. You heard
me rehearsing.

How'd my pitch sound?

Intriguing.

Good.

Did you know the best part
about this product?

Space-age memory foam
that'll make you feel

completely weightless
and at peace.

No bright lights,
no sound...

No crappy car, no trial.

Why don't you take her
for a spin?

Yeah?

Yeah.

Sit here.

Just, uh, settle in there.

There you go.

It's pretty comfy.

Well, I'm gonna run to my car
and grab some promo T-shirts,

but, uh, the door doesn't lock,
so you can exit anytime.

Okay.

Enjoy, sir.

Okay. See you soon.

That was Toby and Happy.

They're running late. They're
picking up organic coffee.

Part of their STORK thing.

What is with those guys
and acronyms?

Everybody, hands up!

Follow our instructions,
and no one gets hurt!

Let's get out of here.

There is no way out!

Doors are rigged
with explosives.

You open one door,
they all detonate.

Now, everybody
into the main theater. Now!

Move!

Move! Move!

Move!

Move, move!

Move!

Richard.

Why is it every time you guys
are around, things turn to crap?

All cell phones in here.

Cell phones, now.

Rápido.

Where's that
older guy you guys were with?

Did-did he get away?

Walt, he's right,
Cabe's not here.

Don't worry, Mr. Vadat.

My associate is
a trained federal agent.

I guarantee
he's working right now

toward a way
of getting us out of here.

♪ Are the voices in your head ♪

♪ Calling Gloria... ♪

♪ Scorpion 4x05 ♪
Sci Hard
Original Air Date on October 23, 2017

== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man

Richard
Elia and his technological ilk

are nothing more
than digital pusher men,

getting the populace hooked
on fingertip convenience:

instant access to music,
films, information,

with notification chimes
engineered

to release endorphins,
to get the sheep addicted,

unaware their personal data's
being harvested and sold,

until, one day,

privacy as we know it
is gone forever.

Did you really do that
with chimes?

Maybe.

Mr. Elia has two hours

to destroy all personal data
he's collected

from users of his technology

over the past 20 years.

The thoughts,
habits and profiles of billions

will be liberated
from Elia's grasp.

We'll never get
that done in time.

If a single e-mail remains,

we will execute every hostage.

And lest Elia's tech team doubts

whether they should
heed our demands...

...if they don't, Sir Richard
receives the first bullet.

Do it.

Do what he says.

These guys mean it.

Detective Meller!

Detective.

These guys drove
up to the barricade.

They say there's a federal agent
embedded with the hostages.

Uh, Dr. Toby Curtis, Happy
Quinn, we work for Scorpion.

A federal subcontractor

under the direction
of Homeland Agent Cabe Gallo.

Look, well, I recorded
the kidnappers' demands.

It's our only look inside

since they disabled
the security cameras.

You can see the hostages
in the background.

Which one is the federal agent?

Uh, there's Walt and Paige.
And...

Elia but no Cabe.

He's got to be hiding in
the outer concourse somewhere.

Ah, this is good.

Oh, that's good.

She normally says “Not good”"

What the hell
are you two talking about?

What we're talking about is that
we have a man on the inside,

and he's a badass.

Where the hell is everybody?

This is bad.

Mezzanine is clear.
Checking the floor. Over.

What the hell's going on?

Yeah.
Cabe, where the hell you been?

Napping. Hold on,
I'm putting my Bluetooth in.

So I assume you're aware
that something crazy's

going down in here.

Fill me in.

Yeah, anti-tech group
has got, like,

12 people at gunpoint
in the theater,

including Walter and Paige,
and Elia's in there, too.

How many bad guys?

Uh, looks like
there's four in there.

Well, in case you're unaware...

...this place is rigged
to blow to bits

if any of these doors
are opened.

The authorities know.

Barricades are all around,
cops are everywhere.

Is that Agent Gallo?

Hand it over. Agent Gallo,

this is Detective Meller, LAPD.

Hey, Detective.

Be advised, I've already
taken out one Caucasian male,

early 30s.

And I'm in possession
of a SIG 9mm.

Sir,

I ran your badge number,
and the system says

that you've been suspended
for being charged

with felonious conduct.

Not good.

Yeah. I told you she
normally says that.

We will be relieving you
of this.

Password to your
company's server?

Why do you need it?

I ordered my staff
to delete all data.

They're doing it as we speak.

I want my team
to watch your team.

Make sure all those terabytes

are dwindling down to zero
like they should.

The password.

“King Richard.”

It's easy to remember.

Mr. Gallo.

How do you feel about being

criminally prosecuted
by your employer?

I'm tickled pink.

What the hell does that
have to do with anything?

You think Cabe is in on it?

Well, I'm looking at a
disgruntled federal employee,

discharged five years

from retirement, who's already
admitted that he's armed,

and neutralized one person.

A bad guy. I took out a bad guy.

N-No, that's my phone,
and you are crazy

if you think my friend's crazy.

I have seen many agents snap,

and I don't know whose
side this guy is on.

Detective,
press is getting antsy.

They want a statement.

Don't let them leave. I still
got questions for them.

I don't know what's
going on here.

Uh, Cabe? You-you got to avoid
running into anyone else

until we can figure out a plan.

Fox, this is Raven.

I don't think
that's gonna be possible.

I need you to get me
a Flashcat cable

from one of the booths
out there.

Do you copy?

What's the issue?

It's not connecting
to the final page.

It's probably a bad cable.

Fox, ETA on that Flashcat?

Do you copy?

Probably left his walkie off.

I'll just grab
it myself.

Just be quick about it.

I'm worried about Cabe.

What if the guy runs into him?

Well, if that happens, Cabe's
not the one I'm worried about.

They're gonna send someone
when that guy I knocked out

doesn't come back with a cable.

Cabe, just make yourself
scarce and-and be careful.

Look, man, I-I got to go.

We got to figure out a way
to see what's going on

in that theater.

How the hell are we
gonna get eyes in there?

I checked online. There's no
security cameras in the theater.

Um, we'll hack Walt's laptop,
we'll spy through his eyepiece.

There's no way
that the kidnappers

will let Walt open his laptop.
They're hostages.

They probably can't even move,
let alone take out their toys.

Well, that's it.

Elia's toys.
They're already out.

H-He was unveiling
a host of new devices today.

Pull up the
Tech-Splosion website.

Eyes on your own paper.

A hostage situation?

Yeah, I don't have any time
to explain.

Now, listen to me.

If I were gonna find

a Flashcat cable in this joint,
where would I go?

I have to think that they'd
have a robotics booth.

That would have a Flashcat.

Okay.

I see some robot stuff.

Get in touch
with Toby and Happy.

They'll download you.

Things are really bad.

Really, really bad.

Oh, please don't hang up,
please don't hang...

I'm in the middle
of taking the bar exam. Crap.

There it is.

Flashcat cable.

What the hell?

Two down.

Cops think Cabe is involved?

That is insane.

Listen, Happy's hacking
the camera

in Elia's facial-recognition
doorbell display.

It's gonna give us
a live peek into that theater.

Once we get some Intel,

we'll probably need your help,

so stay by the phone?

Okay, please don't hang up. I...

Double crap.

Busted.

Triple crap.
Sir, you are hereby

expelled from this bar
examination for cheating.

Okay. Hold on.

This is not a game show.

You do not get a lifeline
when you don't know the answers.

Please, if you just let me
get my laptop

out from under my desk
out there, I can show you

case files that prove
that I work in conjunction

with Homeland Security,
as well as news feeds online

of a Los Angeles
hostage situation

that I am currently
assisting with.

You are either
telling the truth,

or that is the coolest lie
I have ever heard.

Wait here.
I'll go get the proof.

Raven, do you copy?

Raven!

He's getting frustrated.

Frustrated kidnappers
hurt people.

I'm sure Cabe's disrupted
his plans.

Now we need a plan of our own.

No. You're reckless.

I promise you, I have solved
many difficult cases.

But he does have a point.

You wrecked my Ferrari,
lost software

that cost me a billion-dollar
smart building,

discharged my space rocket.

He gave me explosive diarrhea.

You win.

All right.

Anybody come up
with a strategy yet?

It's like Whack-A-Mole
around here.

Bad guys keep coming
out of the woodwork.

Okay, I am hacking
Elia's doorbell hardware

so we can get eyes
on the situation...

I'm in.

Great. What do you see?

Empty theater seats.

They need to turn
the camera toward them.

Yeah, well, do whatever you can
to get their attention.

I am doing that right now.

Psst.

Am I the only one
who sees that light blinking?

It's Morse code.

It's Happy.

How do you know?

Because the doorbell just
said, “It's me, stupid”"

We need a distraction
so I can get it.

Fox and Raven
are not responding.

We need to get this done
and get out.

Hey, uh, excuse me...

Sit down.

Uh... If you're trying
to get into my system,

- I think I can help.
- I said sit.

I'm just saying that I think
that I could help assist you...

Stay back.

This is not your boardroom.

You are not in charge!

Here.

Well, we got Walt's POV.

Okay, link his audio
with Cabe's Bluetooth.

Look, we're getting a visual
right through his shirt pocket.

Oh, man, Elia's getting it bad.

Stop! Stop! Stop!

I'm the best hacker here.

Yeah, I-I'll get you
into Elia's server,

you can see the d-data
being deleted.

Just-just leave him alone, okay?

If you're
playing games,

people die.

Respectfully,
I am a programmer by trade.

But I'm a skilled hacker.

Oh, as skilled as you are
with toxic micro-bacteria?

Forgive me if I
don't trust you with my life.

Enough.

You both say
you can do the job,

then you both
do the job.

And you both have blood
on your hands if you fail.

But you are not going
to be looking

at Elia's data deletion.

If this isn't about
destroying the data

he collected, why are we here?

This is about Elia's
banking software.

Smart man.

And whether my men have gotten
cold feet and abandoned me,

or have been intercepted
by forces

outside that theater door,

I am not
leaving without my money.

You have my people
obsessively deleting data

so they won't notice the bank
accounts are being emptied.

Correct.

Both of you,

over here, and get to work.

That was pretty brave of you,

creating a distraction.

Yeah, well, you won't be
very proud of me in a moment.

Why?

I never finished
the bank software.

There is no money.

This
isn't working...

Yes, there's a defective cable.

We've known that for some time.

Nope. There's nothing wrong
with the connecting cable.

The software isn't working.

Oh, no. Oh, no.

We can't help them rob
Elia's bank because...

There is no bank.

Coding won't be done
for six months.

But t-today's presentation...?

Smoke and mirrors.
None of it's ready.

Not the software,
not Barnaby the Banking Butler,

and definitely not the funding

that these guys
are trying to siphon off.

Once the kidnappers realize

that there's no pennies
in the piggy bank...

They have no reason
to keep the hostages alive.

I want all funds transferred
to this account number

in Gibraltar.

Problem?

No. No, no.
I can hack this.

It's just, uh,
well-designed software,

so it will take a while.

You have five minutes.

Okay, Walt will stall
for a 300 count

while we try
to save everyone in there.

All right.
You guys got to build

some kind of fake bank site
or something

so it'll look like Walter is
doing what that bastard wants.

Happy and I aren't
skilled enough

to pull that off fast.

I know the young esquire who is.

Uh, hold on.

Stopped a nuclear satellite
from hitting L.A.,

rescued a drowning
woman from a tar pit.

Your team's done
some pretty amazing work.

And now, this convention center
is being overrun

by a madman.

And I need to help my friends.

Okay, man. Here's the deal.

Sit there, use the
sink as a desk.

I'll watch you, make sure
everything's on the up and up.

That's not really sanitary.

There's somewhere else
you can sit.

I'll take the garbage can.

Toby.

Sly, I-I got Cabe patched in.

Here's a ten-second recap.

The bad guys don't
hate technology.

They want to rob
Elia's new bank.

But there is no bank.
Elia never set it up,

so Walter's about to be
killed because he's hacking

a banking Web site
that doesn't exist.

Oh, boy.
Suppose I should whip up

a fancy pseudo-site
to buy him some time?

Yeah, Walter's got about

four and a half minutes
until he takes a bullet.

Oh, man, this is intense...

Yeah, I could whip up
something basic for him,

I could hack into the router
at the convention center,

and then Walter could find it.

Cabe, I just got an idea,
but you're not gonna like it.

All right. Whatever it takes.
I don't care...

Hold on.

The kidnappers are eventually
gonna expect to see money

in their account.
How do you fix that?

They're using
Imperial Gibraltar Bank.

It's a haven for criminal funds.

Well, I don't have enough time
to set up the fake site

and hack a bank.

If we could get right
into the server,

then I could mask their
wire transfer protocols,

make it look to the bad guys
that they just got their funds.

Fine. Then Toby and I
will get you the password

to the bank's servers
to save you time.

H-How? It's not like
we can get to Spain.

Imperial Gibraltar Bank has
branches all over the U.S.

to launder dirty money.

There's one in Bellflower.
Let's hit it.

Hold on!

Detective Meller says
you need to stay put.

Look, I understand y-your
psychological need

to blindly follow authority,
but Detective Meller's a putz.

There are people in there
counting on us.

And one of them is under
suspicion of pulling this stunt,

and you've just admitted
to being on his team,

so you're both
under suspicion, too.

Neither of you
are going anywhere.

Excuse me, Detective.

This is Sylvester Dodd,
attorney at law.

You can't say that.

If you are telling my clients

that they can't move, then that
is a custodial interrogation

and as such,
you must formally arrest them.

That's what we're
trying to avoid, Sly.

However, you've already stated
that they are under suspicion

merely because
they work with someone

who you believe may be involved
with a hostage-taking.

And you must know that
under the law mere suspicion

is not enough for an arrest.

You have to have reasonable,

articulable suspicion in order
to bring my clients in.

Well, do you?
Other than a hunch?

W-What are the facts?

Can you lay them out for me?

Otherwise, since you've
already admitted

that you don't meet
the legal standard,

I look forward
to the massive civil suit

that I will file against you
for wrongful arrest.

In fact,

I hope that you do arrest them.

I can put another wing
on my house.

Matlock, baby.

I'm such an idiot.

One press of this,

and I'd rise out of a trap door
and onto the stage.

Had this place rigged
so balloons would drop,

strobe lights, confetti canons,
music blaring--

all to distract from the fact

that my product wasn't real yet.

All style, no substance--

that's not how I like to think
of myself.

You took a beating to
help everyone here.

That's substance.

I care so much about
what people think of me,

of being accepted
by Silicon Valley

and these 20 year-old idiots
designing the latest apps.

Supposed to be
smarter than that.

Seems no matter
how smart you are,

being accepted
will always matter.

You're just vamping here.

You can't just
keep typing gibberish.

My team knows
our predicament.

I don't know what
they're planning,

but they are
planning something,

so, please, trust me.

In one minute,
I kill one hostage.

Perhaps...

the pretty girl
you were sitting with.

No, no. No, no, no! No. No, No.

That won't be necessary.

I'm almost into the software
for the banking Web site

and I-I will direct it to
transfer you your money, okay?

Sly, get that fake site

operational now or
Paige is done for.

Okay. I am almost finished.

Cabe, you better be in position.

All right, almost ready.

Hacking the Trelfie computer
into my interface now.

I'm gonna keep you in a mid-shot

so the Bluetooth in your ear
isn't as noticeable.

20 seconds.

Get her up.

Hey. Hey. Hey!

This isn't anyone's hero time!

In ten seconds, she dies.

Please, please, please.
I can solve this.

I can solve it. Just...
Five seconds.

Hello.

I'm Barnaby,
your banking butler,

faithful financial friend.

Okay, guys.

You need to get the password
from the bank

so I can get into their system

and fake the transfer.

Just got here. We're on it.

Okay. I have entered
your account number.

Jolly good, gov'nor.

I've received your order

for a wiring of funds.

It will be several minutes

before I can provide
a confirmation.

Tell me when
the transfer's done.

You're still
taking the exam?

Yes. The bar isn't offered
again until February,

and I need to become
a lawyer ASAP.

Are you sure about this?

No, but we need the password

and this is the fastest way
to get it. Now let's go.

Th-Th-- Just-just,
read the note one more time.

“This is a robbery.

Give us your server password
and no one gets hurt.”

It's direct and clear.

Th-that's a good note.

Good luck, baby.

I'm gonna keep
my fingers crossed for you.

Fine.

It-it really only takes one
person to hand over a note.

Transferring funds.

All is hunky-dory.

Please stand by.

It's amazing
we're still alive,

'cause his accent sucks.

Let's get ready to get
out of here.

If that money
doesn't come through...

Where the hell is it?

We'll get this done.

Scorpion is a group
of professionals.

Sly, the password is B-9-T...

How did they get it?

I think they just robbed a bank.

Put the police channel
on my CB.

Alert on a gold pickup
carrying a Caucasian male,

30s, in a hat,
and a petite Asian female,

wanted for robbing
Imperial Gibraltar Bank

on Lincoln...
That's the fuzz!

We're going to the big house.

We are not going to prison.

Can you drive faster?

I can't shower
in front of other people.

Please be sure to browse

our competitive CD rates

and low equity loans.

Bloody hell...!

Oh... this
is a wrinkle.

A wrinkle?

Oh, man, Barnaby's
getting his ass kicked.

Cabe, you better win already.

I'm about to make it
look like those jerks

are getting
a billion-dollar deposit.

We're leaving now.

To quote one
of your American films:

Show me the money.

Done. They have
the fake cash.

Uh, Barnaby, time's up.

Get into character.

Straighten your tie and get
the blood off your forehead.

Sir,

your funds
have been transferred,

$1 billion to the Imperial
Gibraltar Bank account

number 0-6-

0-1-4-5.

Move.

Move!

You kept your word.

And I'll keep mine.
I'm not gonna kill anyone.

Now, back with the others!

I hear sirens.

This is not good.

Police pursuits are stressful.
and that violates STORK.

So does being in jail.

Hot coffee's burning the gooty!

Oh, God!

Oh...
Tidy-whities?!

You're supposed to be wearing boxers!
STORK, remember?

- My boys don't like being jostled.
- Does your head?

Ow!

You have your money--
you can go now.

Not quite yet.

I-I thought you said
you wouldn't kill us.

I'm not. I'm just gonna
wound you all very badly.

Gunshots to the abdomen

are one of the hardest
injuries to treat.

So when the police race in here,

they'll be too busy doing triage
to follow us.

So thank you

for your assistance
in our escape.

Why don't you start with the man
that made today possible?

Hit 'em!

Hurry!

Into the trapdoor!

Come on.

Careful, careful, careful.

Walter!

Forget them. We need
to get out of here.

My mom sent me to my first day
of middle school

in a Punky Brewster T-shirt,
and I got my butt kicked.

What do you think'll happen
if I show up

to my first day of prison
in my underwear?

Oh, boy. I think
Detective Meller heard

the APB on us.

Get out with your hands up.

I knew we couldn't trust
these guys.

Bet you wish
you wore boxers now.

Hurry. Hurry!

Freeze!

Oh, crap.

Damn it!

Cops are dealing
with the bomb aftermath.

We're in the clear.

♪ Gloria ♪

♪ Don't you think
you're fallin'? ♪

What the hell?

Sly!

I need your help, buddy.

I'm about a block behind--
I can't keep up.

♪ You don't have to answer ♪

We're making a right on Vista.

There should be
a parking lot on your right.

Is it safe to cut through?

♪ Gloria... ♪
No.

I think we lost him.

Don't move!

Don't move, scumbag.

Barnaby?

Thanks for the shortcut, kid.

Bad guys are down.
All is well.

Roger that, Cabe.

Now it's time to get
back to the test.

Uh, yeah, about that.

Uh... time ran out
a few minutes ago.

Test's over.

What?

I was only able to finish
about 70% of the questions.

For what it's worth,
world's got lots of lawyers.

Not many heroes, though.

Thanks.

Problem is,
my friend needs a lawyer.

Mr. Curtis, Mrs.
Quinn, I apologize

for my error
in judgment.

It's okay, you can't help it--
you have a small brain.

How about I arrest you
for public indecency?

Or he can keep his mouth shut,

put his pants on,
and we can go home.

I like her idea.

Me, too.

Well, with all the press here,
it's only a matter of time

before it gets out
that I was prepared

to put on a bogus
dog-and-pony show today.

It's funny,
there was a time

when I cared about the science,

technology, about what's
actually important to society,

not just about looking important
to certain groups of people.

Don't be so hard on yourself.

You know, anyone could
have fallen into that trap.

Real quick thinking
with that trapdoor in there.

Any chance I could
steal you back from Scorpion?

Nope.

Kinda... got a
thing for my boss.

Well, hopefully,
next time

I see you two...

...it doesn't involve
a catastrophe.

But I won't hold my breath.

I, uh...
wanted to say thanks.

We never would have survived
if it wasn't for you.

Both of you.

Well, thank you, Vadat.

I guess that means I'm back
into the Vor Collective?

Seriously?

No.

Explosive diarrhea?

Kind of a hard thing
for the fellas to look past.

I understand.

Let's go home.

Mmm. Boston cream.

I got jelly in my belly and
a bear claw with my name on it.

I thought donuts
violate STORK.

We're scrapping STORK.
Yeah.

Now we're focusing on fun.

Good. We're done with
the stupid acronyms.

No. Freewheeling
Unencumbered Newlyweds.

What's up
with him?

Oh, he's trying to find
a loophole to the bar exam.

All you have to do is ask
if you can represent yourself.

Kid...

Then I could be your paralegal,
and I can co-chair with you,

and feed you advice...
Sly...

Well, no,
there's a few cases

where this would
actually work. It's...

Sylvester.

You did the
best you could.

You tried to do
the impossible for me.

No matter what happens
with my case,

I'm a hell of a lucky guy
to have a friend like you.

All right?

All right, I'm heading home.

Oh. Hey, Pops,

some of my online

gearhead pals have
cheap cars for sale.

More reliable than that heap.

You know, I caught
two bad guys with this baby.

Not to mention,

the motorcycles crashing
into the wagon jarred

the cassette tape loose.

No, I'm sticking with it.

Little help?!

How much farther?

Closest garage, uh,
with a lift is three miles.

Nah, two words--
“tow truck.”

Two words:
“We're broke”.

You know what I want?
For Paige to push for a while.

What was that?
I can't hear you.

Guys, I passed
the bar!

Oh, fantastic!

Way to go, Sly!

The proctor must have put
a rush on my results.

I only finished 70%
of the test.

But I guess I got
all 70 right.

Congratulations, Counselor.

You know,
JD means Juris Doctor.

You're
not a doctor.

Sylvester Dodd, the doctor--
sounds pretty good.

- You're not a doctor.
- Really need Paige to push now.

Huh? What was that?

Still can't hear you.