Scorpion (2014–2018): Season 4, Episode 3 - Grow a Deer, A Female Deer - full transcript
The team tries to save an endangered, pregnant deer that was shot by poachers. Happy and Toby discuss the future of their family.
WALTER:
Previously on Scorpion...
Last night was worth
waiting three years for, huh?
Patel's out,
and you're in.
The alderman seat's yours,
if you want it.
If I uncuff him
without a direct order,
I violate a half a dozen
federal statutes.
Collins!
(laughing)
Agent Gallo, you're under arrest
for instigating an escape.
I want a lawyer.
Gonna need one.
SYLVESTER:
Fellow aldermen,
I hold in my hand
an impassioned plea
to restore the after-school
science club
to Madison Elementary,
which was cut
due to lack of space.
It is my understanding
that the library basement
is now available.
I submit it be allocated for use
by the science club
so that young minds
may flourish.
So, what do you think
of the opening?
SUPER FUN GUY STATUE:
My Whoopee Cushion of Doom
will blast you to atoms!
(whoopee cushion noise)
PATTY: Better review
than I'd give you.
Oh. I know you.
You're the reporter
from the West Altadenia Shopper.
Patty Logan,
here to get your autograph?
Really? My political career
has just barely taken flight,
but already... a signature
worth getting.
On this internship release form.
My school has a deal with
West Altadenia city hall.
They provide internships
with aldermen,
our civics department
provides them with good PR.
Seems I pulled the short straw.
Short straw?
You endorsed me.
And you still lost the election.
If Patel hadn't been caught
taking a bribe,
you wouldn't be in office.
You're a rookie politician.
I can't waste my internship
on someone who knows
less about the town than I do.
What do you know? You're 14.
15. And I know you're not
saving the science club
with that turd of a speech.
The library basement is the
hottest 500 square feet in town.
Old folks club wants it
for Strummin' Seniors.
Rotary club has their eye on it.
And Rage-a-holics wants
to hold meetings there,
and you don't want
to piss them off.
Sly, if I may.
I heard your speech
from the kitchen,
I think it was logical
and reasoned.
Thank you, Walter.
Don't encourage him,
because his science club
is toast without cookies.
Oh, reminds me: my toast.
I've been covering West
Altadenia for the Shopper
since sixth grade.
A pothole doesn't get patched
without me knowing about it.
And what I know is,
if you give a simple batch
of shortbread crisps
to the right person,
you get your basement.
Go on.
Not until you sign
the release form.
Let me work for
someone else.
No.
I won't be blackmailed.
Fine.
Then I'll ask my civics teacher
to change my assignment.
I was hoping we could
avoid unpleasantries.
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I've never gotten a tardy
and I'm not starting today.
Fine. Get a new alderman.
See if it bothers me.
I was rejected by
high school girls
all the time at your age.
I am used to it.
That's telling her.
(door opens)
Allie.
Are-are you okay?
I've tried calling you for about
20 minutes, it's been busy.
Sorry, I've been running tests
on my new robocalling system.
It's part of my alderman
responsibilities.
Have you heard from Cabe?
No, I haven't seen him
since last night.
He was gonna see you.
He didn't make it.
He called and told me
that he'd been arrested
by the FBI.
Arrested?
For what?
He wouldn't say.
He said it was a mistake
and that he'd take care of it
and be back by morning,
but he never showed.
W-Why didn't anyone call us?
ALLIE: He didn't want
to worry you guys,
but I didn't know
who else to go to.
You did the right thing.
Where is he?
Federal courthouse.
WALTER:
Okay.
(door opens)
(lock buzzes, latch clicks)
Aiding and abetting
the escape of an inmate?
That's how you got arrested?
What the hell
are you doing here?
Bailing you out.
I'm gonna explain
to the authorities
that you had to remove
Collins's ankle cuff.
Won't make a difference.
Carson, the new
Homeland director,
he's clearly got it out for me.
We were stopping a
cataclysmic extinction event.
Me uncuffing Collins,
after Homeland approved
his prison furlough,
made Carson look bad.
Now he's gonna
have me take the fall.
Bottom dollar, Carson
pulled strings to make sure
my public defender
is a fourth grader.
JOSH: Actually,
I'm 24.
I'll be 25 in October.
You're his lawyer?
Josh Mitchell, Esq.
Cabe,
I'm gonna talk
to the prosecutor,
and figure out our next steps.
Shouldn't you already
know the steps?
When did you pass the bar?
A week ago, Tuesday.
That's great. Fantastic.
A prepubescent public defender?
Let's get you
a top flight advocate.
Been on a lawman's salary
for 40 years.
What I got saved up won't even
cover a decent retainer.
Never mind
my representation.
You mind telling me
how you guys came up with
a half mil bail?
I dove into some savings.
HAPPY: I promised some online
wrenchers vintage bike parts
at good prices.
Same here, except comics
instead of motorcycle stuff.
TOBY: You know those
blank checks you get
with your credit card bills?
So a loan for 19%?
19.5.
Mortgage. On the business.
You put Scorpion
up as collateral?
The garage, everything?
It was either that or
leave you in prison.
It was jail, not prison!
I can handle myself.
TOBY: You know,
Cabe, you have
a very weird way
of saying thank you.
Listen to me next time,
and then I'll thank you.
Don't argue with them,
it was my fault.
Stop it right there.
You hesitated
to release Collins.
You knew it was
breaking the law.
I was the one who yelled at
you to hurry up and do it.
When was the last time
anybody convinced me
to do something
I didn't want to do?
TOBY:
Yesterday.
When Walter got you
to uncuff Collins.
Weren't you just listening?
Ow.
I take full responsibility.
The buck stops here.
Is that why you told Allie
not to call us?
Machismo nonsense?
I didn't want
to be a burden, now I am.
Family's not a burden.
What's a burden crippling debt,
so I took on a case
while you were bailing Cabe out.
Without discussing it first?
Could be a year
till we get Cabe's trial date,
and we're waiting
to hear from his lawyer,
so in the meantime, while
we're trying to keep
Scorpion above water,
we need to bail ourselves out
of a half a million dollar debt.
Unbelievable.
The client is
Wildlife Animal Guardians.
It's a charity, so
it won't pay top dollar,
but since we're currently
at our bottom dollar,
I suggest we get to work.
(sighs)
ADISSA: A poached
rhino horn.
We intercepted a case
on the black market.
Problem is, we have no
idea where it came from.
Could be Africa,
Malaysia, India.
People are still killing these
animals for their horns, huh?
TOBY: They're ground up, and
then they're sold in vials
worth a fortune in Asia
for their purported
medicinal benefits.
They think it gives a little
goose to the old gooty.
A $213 billion industry
destroying wildlife worldwide.
CABE: Often funding
other operations.
Human trafficking,
drugs, terrorism.
Correct. I called Scorpion
because I read about the DNA
sequencer you'd developed.
SYLVESTER:
Yes.
We've used it on spies in Cuba.
And monkey poop.
The number of horns
we intercepted indicates
that they are ramping
up their operation.
They could wipe out thousands of
rhinos at the end of the month
if we don't act fast.
My hope is you could sample
the horns we intercepted
and identify
the subspecies of rhino.
With that information,
we should be able narrow down
the geographic region
the horns came from.
PAIGE: And if you can figure
out where they came from,
you can notify the
proper authorities
and nail the poachers.
Piece of cake.
Adissa,
does your organization work
closely with law enforcement?
Yes. But we've only
been able to arrest
low-level foot soldiers.
That just disrupts
business a day or two.
You could go after
wealthy buyers,
but basic economic theory
dictates
that you'll always
have someone to take their place
if demand is high.
CABE: Best way to nail
an organized crime unit
is to cut out the middleman.
Eliminate distribution,
the organization is left
topless and bottomless.
Like certain clubs
near the airport.
Got the results.
That quickly?
That's impossible.
Nope. I ran the sequence
on an online database.
The horn came
from a crash of rhinos
in a region of five valleys
in the nation of Bozatta.
Still a pretty
big swath of land.
Well, we can narrow it down.
All we do is match
the DNA in the horn
to DNA samples on the ground.
Oh, no, more poop?
Well, rhino dung is full of DNA.
And parasites, and bacteria.
We get a match on dung
in a specific valley,
we'll know that's where
the poachers are working out of.
ADISSA: Then the
authorities move in.
This is exactly
the help we need.
I'll make arrangements
to fly you all out immediately.
Okay, team, let's get packing.
Um, I had to surrender my
passport as a condition of bail.
I can't come.
Oh, okay.
Well, you can QB
from the garage.
Maybe you can watch
over Ralph this weekend
after he gets dropped off
from school? Paige,
that work for you?
Absolutely.
Great.
Relegated to babysitter.
Look at this terrain.
I am hoping to see a
West African common loon.
I'm looking at a West Altadenia
common loon right now.
This is one of several compounds
around the world
to rehab and protect
endangered animals.
Don't be alarmed
by the firepower.
It's protection
from poachers.
Well, the magazine capacity
and firing speed
would surely put a hitch
in the giddyup of any bad guys.
(quietly):
"Hitch in the giddyup"?
I thought we left Cabe at home.
ADISSA:
Don't be alarmed.
I'm very well-trained
and will have my rifle
on the plains.
Come. Let me show you
our medical facilities.
Thank you, officer.
Top veterinarians volunteer
their services.
These incubators house rare
peacock eggs to maturity.
And this is Solomon Ebke.
A retired general
of our nation's military.
He runs security
for the compound.
Solomon, this is Team Scorpion.
We can't thank you enough.
Poachers are a threat
to many animals
on the endangered
species list.
Your help is paramount
to our success.
Well, when we're done here,
the poachers will be the ones
on the endangered species list.
Which one are you,
Cagney or Lacey?
Okay, I think it's time we break
into groups and go dung diving.
Hey, hey.
Um, after we're done
with this case,
how about you and I
change our tickets
and stay a few extra days?
See the plains of Africa.
If I've learned anything
from '80s supergroup Toto,
they're spectacular.
It's a free honeymoon.
What could be more romantic?
(flies buzzing)
I think I'm gonna be sick.
I've been taking stool samples
for four hours.
Do you want to switch jobs?
No.
Please, just run the test.
Okay, Walt, about to get
the scoop on some poop.
Yeah, okay,
keep me apprised.
Oh, over here.
Tracks.
(sniffs) Mm.
Animals were just here.
Dung can't be far away.
You mean like that giant
pile of crap right there?
(flies buzzing)
I'll get samples.
He seems to be taking
to the safari life.
TOBY: I got a theory
on what's going on
with our
dung-smelling Magellan.
Care to share?
Not yet.
I want to watch this monkey
in his unnatural
habitat a bit longer.
Hang on. Sly,
say that again.
All right, Walt.
Drop the droppings.
Let's move it.
Sly got a hit.
(quietly):
Ooh. Nice.
CABE:
Hey.
Look who finally woke up.
How'd you sleep?
(sighs)
Camper still smells like Ray.
How'd the couch treat you?
It didn't.
Was up all night
working with the team.
That's a lie.
They were flying
all night.
You didn't get any sleep
because you're upset
that they bailed you out.
They shouldn't
have gotten involved.
Scorpion is too important
to risk for one man.
Isn't it the Marines who say,
"No man left behind"?
Shut up and eat your eggs.
(sighs)
Hello, gang.
Any progress?
Yeah, several
smelly pounds of it.
We got a match.
The poached rhinos
came from this valley.
Which means the poachers
aren't far from here.
We just need to alert...
(gunshot)
Whoa, poachers might be closer
than you realized.
Africa has been nice,
but we got to go.
Happy, follow us!
We're Oscar Mike!
SYLVESTER:
Oscar Mike?!
Why are we following him
towards the gunfire?!
Sunglasses don't mean he's Cabe!
CABE: Walter, do not go
towards the gunshots.
Hello?
When the hell did everybody
stop listening to me?
WALTER:
There. He has a gun.
(gunshot)
ADISSA:
Hey!
Let's go.
(animal mewling)
He shot this poor deer.
It's a spotted munt deer.
Only about five left
in the world.
Hunted to the brink
of extinction
because its organs are
wrongfully believed
to cure cancer.
This animal alone
could be worth half a million
on the black market.
That means he won't
leave it behind.
He's going for reinforcements.
It's suffering.
It's a through-and-through
abdominal.
Sutures can stabilize her,
but if we don't get her
to the animal sanctuary,
she won't survive.
Well, let's throw her
in the back of the Jeep.
SYLVESTER:
Hey.
I get that there's
only four of them,
but there's only one Sylvester
Dodd, and I'm an animal, too,
and I'd really like
to preserve me.
Cabe said dudes with guns
are coming back
to collect this critter.
Critters, plural.
She's pregnant.
What?
TOBY: Uterus is punctured
and amniotic
fluid is leaking.
This womb is compromised.
Based on the
crown/rump length,
I'm guessing it's halfway
through its gestation period.
It's way too young
to survive outside the womb.
CABE:
Damn it, get out of there.
I am not there to protect you.
Okay, you guys heard
the angry man in Los Angeles.
Let's skedaddle.
No damn way. You want to let
this mother and baby die?
It's not my preference,
but I'd really like
to let this baby live.
Paige, I respect
your motherly instincts,
but there's just no way
this fawn can live
without a womb.
It might be insane,
but can we build one?
SYLVESTER:
Not "might be."
It is insane.
Hold on. I've seen you geeks
build a gun with a paper towel
tube and a urinal cake.
You crafted a
submarine escape hatch
from an oil drum,
so if it's possible,
figure out a way
to build this kid a-a womb.
Actually, a kid
is a baby goat.
Toby, you're playing with fire.
WALTER: Paige.
It's impossible.
PAIGE:
Walter.
You ever want to see me naked
again, you figure this out.
You heard her, team.
Let's save these deer.
♪ Scorpion 4x03 ♪
Grow a Deer a Female Deer
Original Air Date on Octobe
An artificial womb.
Warmth, protection, oxygen,
everything a mother gives,
minus the crippling guilt.
So, we got to build that first
because baby's weakest.
Then I can triage mama.
Even if we build this perfectly,
odds are high that
mama and baby will die.
ADISSA: Poachers
might be back soon.
I'm giving Solomon
our coordinates.
All right, team.
Time to order up
a little womb service.
My medical bag has sterile
salt water with antibiotics
that will sub in
for the amniotic fluid.
The truck's heat sensor
will help us keep the baby
at 99 degrees,
the exact temperature
of a real deer womb.
A cassava root's cell walls
will act as a placenta,
providing oxygen,
which will reach the baby
via the umbilical cord,
plastic tubing
from the poacher's water bag.
Now all we need
is something soft
to create a wall
for the fake womb.
The windows. We can
melt the edges together
to form a bag.
It will be a while
before Solomon arrives.
I hope the poachers
don't get here first.
Well, I will keep them
at bay if they...
(gunshot)
Was that a gunshot?
It was unintended.
My mistake.
CABE:
Walt, I say this with love,
but you better put that
gun in Adissa's hands
or when I see you I am
gonna put my foot in your...
Copy.
HAPPY: There's still enough
plastic here to make a womb,
but only a single layer.
Well, it'll have to work.
Right, Walter?
SYLVESTER:
Guys, I've been searching
the poacher's bag for matches
so we can melt the plastic
and I found some.
Look what else I found.
His sat phone.
That will have
all his contacts in it.
Every scumbag he works with.
You could kill
the whole operation.
Yes, but it's encrypted.
You've got to crack it.
Linking it to you now, Ralph.
RALPH:
Got it.
It's as good as Mother Nature.
Hurry up, Doc, she's in pain.
Okay.
Bedtime for Mommy Deer-est.
Tough crowd.
Won't that hurt her?
It's just gonna make her sleep
so that I can remove the baby.
Hey. Don't worry.
It's gonna be as easy
as A-B-C-section.
No?
Out cold with a strong
pulse. I'm ready.
Okay. I'll assist.
TOBY: Perfect.
Happy, be ready to cut
the umbilical cord
and connect the baby's end
to the plastic tube.
You know how I feel about blood.
Yeah, well, we need the mitts
of someone who's hooked up
a million fuel lines.
Happy, get your ass over here
and do what he says.
Bring enough
hand sanitizer?
We came here to examine dung,
so to answer your question, no.
Short clamp.
A sponge.
Validation.
No other doctor in the world
could do this.
That's just what I need to hear
before removing this little one.
(grunts)
A not-yet-ready-for-prime-time
girl.
Is it working?
Might be a surprise,
but this is my first time
super-gluing an umbilical cord
and plastic tubing.
Got it.
This should hold tight.
Squeamish, yes,
but when the pressure is on,
she's rock solid.
Sly, hand sanitizer now.
How will we know
if it's working?
Blood in the tubing will mean
her heart is beating.
Look at that.
Blood from her body
into the root
and then the oxygenated blood
returns.
Damn good engineering, Doc.
Thanks, darling.
Walt, send this little
girl to her womb.
All right, look,
these are the jokes, folks.
Incredible work, team.
Now hurry up and get the hell
out of there.
We're packing up.
Put this over her.
I got munt deer slobber
all over me.
My dad and I might not
agree on much,
but he sure was right
about Boscoe.
Boscoe?
When I was a boy,
I found a stray mutt.
Boscoe.
He was dirty.
He chewed up the furniture.
He left me presents
in my sneakers.
(clears throat)
So, when Dad finally decided
to give him to another family,
I was thrilled.
That's why I like birds.
They keep their distance.
Getting up close and personal
with an animal? A real hassle.
Animals are my life's work.
Never too late
to switch careers.
TOBY:
Guys, we got a problem.
She's down to 97 degrees.
If she reaches 95,
and at this rate,
she will in a matter
of minutes, she'll die.
We-we have to warm her up.
Car engine?
No, that's too hot.
It's gonna cook her.
Light a fire.
That'll melt the womb.
No, what we needed was
two layers of plastic
to retain the heat,
which we had
until Walter Gallo blasted
the window with a shotgun.
"Walter Gallo"?
What does that mean?
It means your psyche
is having you mimic Cabe
because you blame yourself
for his arrest.
You feel guilty
he's not here,
and now you're
making him be here
and that fawn is gonna die!
That's nonsense.
I'm not channeling Cabe.
I'm sorry, I couldn't hear
over your sunglasses.
One more comment and my foot
and your ass are...
Oh, boy.
Exactly.
PAIGE:
Children,
if we're done,
temperature is going up.
SYLVESTER:
Brilliant.
Nature's best source
of soothing warmth,
a mother's bosom.
Well, you're one hot mama.
TOBY: That's a smart fix,
but it's only temporary.
Body heat is only
gonna last for so long.
She's never gonna make the two
hour drive to the compound.
We have to find a more efficient
way to keep the baby warm.
Okay, I'm checking
U.S. satellite maps.
There's a Danish oil exploration
camp about five miles northeast.
They must have
controlled heaters
for the cold days out here.
I can modify one
to warm the womb.
Okay, uh, let's split up.
Now, uh, Sly and Adissa,
take mama deer to the compound.
The rest of us will take
the baby to the Danish camp.
I'll call Solomon and
divert him to the camp.
He'll provide protection on
our way back to the compound.
But you and I
will be transporting
the animal worth a fortune
without protection
from poachers?!
Wonderful!
(deer mewling)
I think she's in distress.
Then comfort her.
Comfort her? How?
(deer continues mewling)
Here. Nuts and seeds.
Eat. You need your strength.
You're eating right out
of my hand.
Just like Boscoe used to do.
(gunshots)
What did I say about animals?!
They are always a hassle!
(gunshots)
SYLVESTER: Cabe?
We need help.
Two poachers on ATVs
are after us.
You still have
a weapon, right?
Yes.
Just a second...
Scratch that.
No weapon.
Well, what else do you got
to work with there?
A spare gas can, uh,
ah, some duct tape.
Um, shotgun shells.
And a pocket knife.
All right, well, we can make
an explosive.
That sounds dangerous.
So are the poachers.
Do what he says.
CABE:
Open the cap...
and stick a shell in it.
Then I want you to insert
the knife into the spout
so it's touching the shell.
Then invert the spout
back into the can.
(bullets ricocheting)
CABE: The knife will work
as a firing pin--
it'll create a spark.
They are coming up
behind us.
Sylvester, you all right?
Yeah, we're safe.
For now.
Okay.
Thanks, Cabe.
WALTER:
There's Solomon.
(horn honks)
I took the liberty
of gathering items
you might find useful.
I can modify this
flameless battery-powered
camp stove-- it should
warm the fawn.
SYLVESTER (over radio):
Guys, we have a problem.
(engine sputters, dies)
We're out of gas.
The poachers will call
for backup
and return with
more firepower.
Do you have any more fuel?
I had a whole can of it,
but you made me turn it
into a bomb.
CABE:
Okay, listen up.
You can't run carrying
a 70-pound munt deer.
So it's time to hunker down
and get tactical.
Tactical. Yes.
How do I do that?
CABE:
During the Revolutionary War,
George Washington was
surrounded and outnumbered,
so his men lit
several campfires.
The British saw that,
and they thought the Bluejackets
were still there
while Washington's troops were
escaping across the East River.
There are no rivers here.
You got to make them think
you're somewhere you're not.
So check your surroundings.
Look around you, Sly.
What do you see? Think.
Nothing but brush.
The western peregrine.
They utilize a unique
defense mechanism,
and we're gonna copy it.
(device beeps)
Perfect 99 degrees.
Hey, Sly,
whatever you're planning,
be careful,
those guys are killers,
be it animal or human.
You be careful, too.
I stripped the insulation
on these prongs.
Touch 'em, and you'll feel 'em
down in your gooty,
and not in a good way.
Okay. Let's get back
to the compound and
reunite her with her mommy.
Dangerous passage. I'll lead.
I'll go with you.
You guys follow and keep
an eye out for poachers.
POACHER:
Tire marks.
Over there.
They can't be far.
We just need to figure out
which direction they went.
There you go.
Look at the dummy nest,
you dummies.
Come on, Jane, eat.
Jane?
Yeah.
Jane Doe.
Don't like that
she won't eat.
Heart rate is over 200.
She's dehydrated
due to blood loss.
She needs medical attention.
Well, we can't move
until the poachers
follow the fake boot prints.
I made them nonobvious
as to not be suspicious,
but come on.
(cell phone vibrating)
Hello?
They won't let me change
my assignment,
so I'm stuck with you.
(whispering):
Patty, not now.
What the hell?
Keep working the
phone encryption.
PATTY: I'm gonna make the
best of the situation.
That means baking
shortbread crisps
whether you like it or not.
CABE:
Excuse me.
Who are you?
I work for Alderman Dodd.
Assume the oven
in your garage works?
Hey, hey, hey, hey,
wait a minute.
Mr. Gallo.
I have great news.
Well, that's good.
After the day I'm having,
I could use some.
Prosecutor is offering
three years.
Three years?!
I know, it's pretty good, right?
- I've got the paperwork right here.
- But I'm innocent.
PATTY: If you're innocent,
don't sign.
Do you guys have a mixer?
Who's that?
I have no idea.
Oh. So you're
out of jail and okay.
Would've been nice to know.
Allie, I didn't want you
to be worried.
You call and tell me you're
arrested, then radio silence.
I don't know what's going on and
I leave message after me...
Do I look like
I'm not worried?
She looks worried.
Shut up.
Uh, Mr. Gallo,
these kind of conversations
are supposed to be privileged,
I think.
Is there some place we could go?
I'm about to tell you
where you can go.
Three years is a solid offer.
Three years?!
PATTY:
Don't take the deal.
But you should apologize
to that lady.
Who is that?
I have no idea.
The federal sentencing guideline
is seven years.
The sentencing
for an innocent person is zero.
ALLIE: You're talking plea
with your lawyer
and you haven't
even told me.
Don't you think I'd care
that maybe I won't see you
for three years?!
He's not my lawyer.
Uh, yes, I am.
No, you're fired.
Now you're not.
PATTY (chuckles):
Ooh-ooh, roasted.
Fine. I didn't take the bar four
times to be treated like this.
You know what?
He's got the right idea.
Allie.
You guys are
out of vanilla extract!
Who the hell are you?!
I cracked the sat phone.
It's a network
of connected lines.
If I call all the
numbers in the network,
each phone will ping
off a local cell tower.
I'll be able to track
every poacher's location.
Dialing the network now.
We'll be able to ID
every guy in the network,
the grunts, the buyers
and the middlemen.
(cell phones ringing)
(quietly):
Ralph, your plan is working.
(cell phone ringing)
I can still hear ringing
in my comms.
Yeah, me too.
But it's not coming
from Sly's location.
Oh, Walter!
CABE:
Walt.
If Solomon's phone is ringing,
clear your throat.
(ringing)
I never answer "blocked caller."
(clears throat)
Walter, Solomon
is a poacher!
(cell phone ringing)
(phone ringing)
So, um, who do you think it is?
Is he making a fist?
Not good.
TOBY: Walter,
you are not Cabe.
Maybe it's
trouble calling?
Huh?
Why would he punch him?
That isn't his strong suit.
Uh-oh.
(grunting)
(yells)
If it can take down
a munt deer...
"Trouble's calling"?
You could do better?
Prescription?
Bed rest.
That's actually pretty good.
Do I sound like that?
Footprints!
Uh-huh, this way.
Now.
(truck door closes)
(engine starts)
Go!
(gunfire)
What now?
It worked.
Compound, here we come!
Strange for someone who dislikes
animals to throw his body
over a deer to protect it
from bullets.
Just drive.
Get on a dextrose
saline IV stat.
Careful.
SYLVESTER:
Okay, mama's at the compound.
Where's her kid?
We're minutes out.
And a kid is a baby goat,
but we have a fawn.
RALPH (over radio):
Stop!
Oh, come on, Ralph,
it's just wordplay.
No, stop now. There's
a poacher roadblock ahead.
I'm still tracking their phones.
I can see them all gathering.
CABE: Solomon was leading
you guys into an ambush.
I've called
the Defense Department.
They've notified
the Bozattan military.
They're on their way.
Okay. So we'll wait here
until they get rounded up.
Negative-- I'm seeing
three to four poachers
closing in from behind.
We can't stay put, we can't
move back, we can't go forward.
Our little girl here's
running out of time.
Cabe, how far is the
compound as the crow flies?
Well, it's a half mile
due east over a hill.
We're making a break for it.
Out there?
With the poachers?
Walt, I don't want
to get mounted
over a fireplace.
The tall grass will shield us
if we stay low. Here.
Hurry. Hurry,
let's move, let's go.
(monitor beeping)
The surgical team is prepping
the OR in "B" wing
so we can clean her wound
and wash it with antibiotics.
Your team did a great job.
(beeping falters briefly)
Is... that
an abnormal heartbeat?
Yes, but she's
dehydrated.
It's standard to have a few.
I'll be back for her
when the OR is ready.
(beeping continues)
Poachers found your Jeep.
They're entering the grass.
Are these too salty?
Kid, could not be a worse time.
Mm, no, it's delicious.
Knew the recipe was wrong.
Ah, this is
an interesting development.
CABE:
Keep as low as you can, guys.
Any lower, I'd be a groundhog.
Or a politician.
SYLVESTER:
Toby,
Jane's abnormal heartbeats
are speeding up
at a common ratio,
geometrically increasing rate.
By my calculations,
in 210 seconds,
she'll have 130
abnormal heartbeats a minute.
Her heart won't be able to
withstand that, where's the vet?
Uh, she's prepping the OR in
the "B" wing, wherever that is.
You don't have time
to look for them.
You have to shock her heart.
Is there a defibrillator nearby?
Yes!
But it looks like
it hasn't been used in a while.
(gun clicks)
Get up, and give me the animal.
I said get up!
Hand over the munt deer.
Now!
(electricity discharging)
Run!
POACHER:
This way!
RALPH:
Run, Mom!
They know where you are!
Are you kidding me?
(steady beep)
No, no, no.
Not yet, I-I don't have
any conductive gel!
(grunts)
Or do I?
Yes.
A water and alcohol mix
will conduct electricity.
Okay.
There we go.
(whirring)
(panting):
All right.
This might sting a little.
No.
Come on.
No. No.
I can't lose you
like I lost Boscoe!
No.
(beeping)
Oh.
(panting)
That's a good girl.
That's my girl.
WALTER:
The wildlife center. Guys!
We're almost there.
Get your heads down!
(bullets ricocheting)
This animal has no heat source,
open up an incubator!
(grunts) Here.
Okay.
(panting)
She's okay.
You need to regulate
this hot box
so she stays
at 99 degrees.
Great job.
She's gonna live.
And I know you didn't do
it just to see me naked,
but you're gonna
get to anyway.
What's taking so long in there?
Jane's going to be fine.
And her baby?
Your friends are with her now.
She's going to make it.
I have more good news.
The Bozatta Army
captured the poachers.
And with the data
your friend decrypted
from the satellite phone, the
entire operation is going down.
Boscoe would be proud.
Got a text from your mom.
They're a few minutes out.
Can't you make anything
other than scrambled eggs?
No. Now eat.
You know, without your
hackin' and crackin' today,
they would have never
taken down those poachers.
I'm proud of you, kiddo.
You helped, too.
If you hadn't shown Sly
how to make that explosive,
he and Adissa and the deer
would've been goners.
Feels good
helping the team, right?
Of course.
But you don't like it
when they help you.
I never took you
for a hypocrite.
Now, hold on a second.
The team helped you, and you
need to accept that help
so that they can feel good, too.
You think
you're being selfless
when you're really
being selfish.
(door opens)
Mom!
Ralph. Come here.
Oh. (laughs)
TOBY:
Okay.
I'm starved. Kovelsky's?
Can't afford it.
Well, I've got some
leftover chicken upstairs.
Well, we got
frozen veggies down here.
Potluck soup it is.
Give me another hug.
Want to help me?
Sure.
Uh, waitress, you went all
turbocharged mama bear today
on the savannah. Even
tore me a new one. I liked it.
Yeah, when it comes to
mamas and their babies,
I can get a
little nuts.
It's okay.
There's nothing stronger
than the mother-child bond.
Hello. Just came
to get my cookies.
Oh, I'm-I'm sorry.
Who are you?
Who cares?
There's cookies here?
I'm Patty,
Alderman Dodd's intern.
I'd left extra shortbreads
for your team,
but they were such a hit
I need all of them
to grease the wheels
of the government.
Um, you don't need all of 'em.
Your loss, Doc.
They were scrumptious.
Ralph doesn't like shortbread.
Yeah, but he sure likes her.
Actually, there might
be one thing
stronger than
the mother-child bond.
This is an interesting
development.
That's what I said.
I don't like this one bit.
Alderman.
Patty. Glad you're here.
Can you explain this?
Mr. Dodd, this is Tyson Bales.
Want to let you know
you've got my vote
for the library basement.
Stella Johnson's, too.
Looks like your science club
has a home.
Congrats.
You got this done
with shortbread crisps?
It's simple.
Kim Becker and Kyle Metney
both have dads
learning the banjo,
so their votes were going
to the Strummin' Seniors.
You have to win over Tyson
Bales and Stella Johnson.
And they don't know you.
Probably don't even like you,
since they were friends
with the man you replaced.
But know who they love?
Santa?
Mrs. Pine,
their fifth grade teacher.
She comes to their swearing-in
ceremony every year,
and then they take her
to Sweet Toto's Bakery
for coffee and...
Shortbread crisps.
So you buttered up
Mrs. Pine with the crisps
and she told them
to support the science club.
That's bribery.
That's politics.
Will you listen to me
from now on?
Depends.
Will you be nice?
I'll be nicer.
I'll take it.
You could've left me a cookie.
TOBY:
Gather up, everyone.
Happy and I
are setting up a surprise.
HAPPY: Cabe, can you and Sly
put the couch movie-style?
So... today,
what, uh, Toby said about you
doing Cabe impersonations...
Uh, it was not,
uh, an impersonation.
Live action role-playing?
Your point?
I think you were
having a hard time today
because of what happened to Cabe
and it affected you
in a really, really weird way.
And I want you to
know just because
I'm your girlfriend
now doesn't mean
I can't still do my job.
So when you're having
emotional stuff, like EQ issues,
I'm-I'm here
to help you.
Our relationship
doesn't change that.
Thank you.
There we go.
Almost showtime.
Uh... before you
raise the curtain,
I would like
to say something.
I can fire a crossbow,
dance a decent box step...
make a mean grilled cheese.
Thanks for sharing, Cabe.
I think Grandpa's
starting to slip.
But what I'm not good at
is accepting help.
You put it on the line for me:
prized possessions,
money, Scorpion.
I'm sorry
for not being grateful.
Thank you.
Our pleasure.
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I'll, uh...
I need to apologize to Allie.
(door opens)
Okay.
(door closes)
Well, food's
almost ready.
What's the main attraction?
Bambi.
My munt deer!
It's a live compound feed.
They're gonna let Jane
visit her baby every day
to keep their bond intact.
Nothing's gonna break that bond.
Not even a punk
with cookies.
Huh?
Nothing.
Just watch the deer, dear.
Previously on Scorpion...
Last night was worth
waiting three years for, huh?
Patel's out,
and you're in.
The alderman seat's yours,
if you want it.
If I uncuff him
without a direct order,
I violate a half a dozen
federal statutes.
Collins!
(laughing)
Agent Gallo, you're under arrest
for instigating an escape.
I want a lawyer.
Gonna need one.
SYLVESTER:
Fellow aldermen,
I hold in my hand
an impassioned plea
to restore the after-school
science club
to Madison Elementary,
which was cut
due to lack of space.
It is my understanding
that the library basement
is now available.
I submit it be allocated for use
by the science club
so that young minds
may flourish.
So, what do you think
of the opening?
SUPER FUN GUY STATUE:
My Whoopee Cushion of Doom
will blast you to atoms!
(whoopee cushion noise)
PATTY: Better review
than I'd give you.
Oh. I know you.
You're the reporter
from the West Altadenia Shopper.
Patty Logan,
here to get your autograph?
Really? My political career
has just barely taken flight,
but already... a signature
worth getting.
On this internship release form.
My school has a deal with
West Altadenia city hall.
They provide internships
with aldermen,
our civics department
provides them with good PR.
Seems I pulled the short straw.
Short straw?
You endorsed me.
And you still lost the election.
If Patel hadn't been caught
taking a bribe,
you wouldn't be in office.
You're a rookie politician.
I can't waste my internship
on someone who knows
less about the town than I do.
What do you know? You're 14.
15. And I know you're not
saving the science club
with that turd of a speech.
The library basement is the
hottest 500 square feet in town.
Old folks club wants it
for Strummin' Seniors.
Rotary club has their eye on it.
And Rage-a-holics wants
to hold meetings there,
and you don't want
to piss them off.
Sly, if I may.
I heard your speech
from the kitchen,
I think it was logical
and reasoned.
Thank you, Walter.
Don't encourage him,
because his science club
is toast without cookies.
Oh, reminds me: my toast.
I've been covering West
Altadenia for the Shopper
since sixth grade.
A pothole doesn't get patched
without me knowing about it.
And what I know is,
if you give a simple batch
of shortbread crisps
to the right person,
you get your basement.
Go on.
Not until you sign
the release form.
Let me work for
someone else.
No.
I won't be blackmailed.
Fine.
Then I'll ask my civics teacher
to change my assignment.
I was hoping we could
avoid unpleasantries.
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I've never gotten a tardy
and I'm not starting today.
Fine. Get a new alderman.
See if it bothers me.
I was rejected by
high school girls
all the time at your age.
I am used to it.
That's telling her.
(door opens)
Allie.
Are-are you okay?
I've tried calling you for about
20 minutes, it's been busy.
Sorry, I've been running tests
on my new robocalling system.
It's part of my alderman
responsibilities.
Have you heard from Cabe?
No, I haven't seen him
since last night.
He was gonna see you.
He didn't make it.
He called and told me
that he'd been arrested
by the FBI.
Arrested?
For what?
He wouldn't say.
He said it was a mistake
and that he'd take care of it
and be back by morning,
but he never showed.
W-Why didn't anyone call us?
ALLIE: He didn't want
to worry you guys,
but I didn't know
who else to go to.
You did the right thing.
Where is he?
Federal courthouse.
WALTER:
Okay.
(door opens)
(lock buzzes, latch clicks)
Aiding and abetting
the escape of an inmate?
That's how you got arrested?
What the hell
are you doing here?
Bailing you out.
I'm gonna explain
to the authorities
that you had to remove
Collins's ankle cuff.
Won't make a difference.
Carson, the new
Homeland director,
he's clearly got it out for me.
We were stopping a
cataclysmic extinction event.
Me uncuffing Collins,
after Homeland approved
his prison furlough,
made Carson look bad.
Now he's gonna
have me take the fall.
Bottom dollar, Carson
pulled strings to make sure
my public defender
is a fourth grader.
JOSH: Actually,
I'm 24.
I'll be 25 in October.
You're his lawyer?
Josh Mitchell, Esq.
Cabe,
I'm gonna talk
to the prosecutor,
and figure out our next steps.
Shouldn't you already
know the steps?
When did you pass the bar?
A week ago, Tuesday.
That's great. Fantastic.
A prepubescent public defender?
Let's get you
a top flight advocate.
Been on a lawman's salary
for 40 years.
What I got saved up won't even
cover a decent retainer.
Never mind
my representation.
You mind telling me
how you guys came up with
a half mil bail?
I dove into some savings.
HAPPY: I promised some online
wrenchers vintage bike parts
at good prices.
Same here, except comics
instead of motorcycle stuff.
TOBY: You know those
blank checks you get
with your credit card bills?
So a loan for 19%?
19.5.
Mortgage. On the business.
You put Scorpion
up as collateral?
The garage, everything?
It was either that or
leave you in prison.
It was jail, not prison!
I can handle myself.
TOBY: You know,
Cabe, you have
a very weird way
of saying thank you.
Listen to me next time,
and then I'll thank you.
Don't argue with them,
it was my fault.
Stop it right there.
You hesitated
to release Collins.
You knew it was
breaking the law.
I was the one who yelled at
you to hurry up and do it.
When was the last time
anybody convinced me
to do something
I didn't want to do?
TOBY:
Yesterday.
When Walter got you
to uncuff Collins.
Weren't you just listening?
Ow.
I take full responsibility.
The buck stops here.
Is that why you told Allie
not to call us?
Machismo nonsense?
I didn't want
to be a burden, now I am.
Family's not a burden.
What's a burden crippling debt,
so I took on a case
while you were bailing Cabe out.
Without discussing it first?
Could be a year
till we get Cabe's trial date,
and we're waiting
to hear from his lawyer,
so in the meantime, while
we're trying to keep
Scorpion above water,
we need to bail ourselves out
of a half a million dollar debt.
Unbelievable.
The client is
Wildlife Animal Guardians.
It's a charity, so
it won't pay top dollar,
but since we're currently
at our bottom dollar,
I suggest we get to work.
(sighs)
ADISSA: A poached
rhino horn.
We intercepted a case
on the black market.
Problem is, we have no
idea where it came from.
Could be Africa,
Malaysia, India.
People are still killing these
animals for their horns, huh?
TOBY: They're ground up, and
then they're sold in vials
worth a fortune in Asia
for their purported
medicinal benefits.
They think it gives a little
goose to the old gooty.
A $213 billion industry
destroying wildlife worldwide.
CABE: Often funding
other operations.
Human trafficking,
drugs, terrorism.
Correct. I called Scorpion
because I read about the DNA
sequencer you'd developed.
SYLVESTER:
Yes.
We've used it on spies in Cuba.
And monkey poop.
The number of horns
we intercepted indicates
that they are ramping
up their operation.
They could wipe out thousands of
rhinos at the end of the month
if we don't act fast.
My hope is you could sample
the horns we intercepted
and identify
the subspecies of rhino.
With that information,
we should be able narrow down
the geographic region
the horns came from.
PAIGE: And if you can figure
out where they came from,
you can notify the
proper authorities
and nail the poachers.
Piece of cake.
Adissa,
does your organization work
closely with law enforcement?
Yes. But we've only
been able to arrest
low-level foot soldiers.
That just disrupts
business a day or two.
You could go after
wealthy buyers,
but basic economic theory
dictates
that you'll always
have someone to take their place
if demand is high.
CABE: Best way to nail
an organized crime unit
is to cut out the middleman.
Eliminate distribution,
the organization is left
topless and bottomless.
Like certain clubs
near the airport.
Got the results.
That quickly?
That's impossible.
Nope. I ran the sequence
on an online database.
The horn came
from a crash of rhinos
in a region of five valleys
in the nation of Bozatta.
Still a pretty
big swath of land.
Well, we can narrow it down.
All we do is match
the DNA in the horn
to DNA samples on the ground.
Oh, no, more poop?
Well, rhino dung is full of DNA.
And parasites, and bacteria.
We get a match on dung
in a specific valley,
we'll know that's where
the poachers are working out of.
ADISSA: Then the
authorities move in.
This is exactly
the help we need.
I'll make arrangements
to fly you all out immediately.
Okay, team, let's get packing.
Um, I had to surrender my
passport as a condition of bail.
I can't come.
Oh, okay.
Well, you can QB
from the garage.
Maybe you can watch
over Ralph this weekend
after he gets dropped off
from school? Paige,
that work for you?
Absolutely.
Great.
Relegated to babysitter.
Look at this terrain.
I am hoping to see a
West African common loon.
I'm looking at a West Altadenia
common loon right now.
This is one of several compounds
around the world
to rehab and protect
endangered animals.
Don't be alarmed
by the firepower.
It's protection
from poachers.
Well, the magazine capacity
and firing speed
would surely put a hitch
in the giddyup of any bad guys.
(quietly):
"Hitch in the giddyup"?
I thought we left Cabe at home.
ADISSA:
Don't be alarmed.
I'm very well-trained
and will have my rifle
on the plains.
Come. Let me show you
our medical facilities.
Thank you, officer.
Top veterinarians volunteer
their services.
These incubators house rare
peacock eggs to maturity.
And this is Solomon Ebke.
A retired general
of our nation's military.
He runs security
for the compound.
Solomon, this is Team Scorpion.
We can't thank you enough.
Poachers are a threat
to many animals
on the endangered
species list.
Your help is paramount
to our success.
Well, when we're done here,
the poachers will be the ones
on the endangered species list.
Which one are you,
Cagney or Lacey?
Okay, I think it's time we break
into groups and go dung diving.
Hey, hey.
Um, after we're done
with this case,
how about you and I
change our tickets
and stay a few extra days?
See the plains of Africa.
If I've learned anything
from '80s supergroup Toto,
they're spectacular.
It's a free honeymoon.
What could be more romantic?
(flies buzzing)
I think I'm gonna be sick.
I've been taking stool samples
for four hours.
Do you want to switch jobs?
No.
Please, just run the test.
Okay, Walt, about to get
the scoop on some poop.
Yeah, okay,
keep me apprised.
Oh, over here.
Tracks.
(sniffs) Mm.
Animals were just here.
Dung can't be far away.
You mean like that giant
pile of crap right there?
(flies buzzing)
I'll get samples.
He seems to be taking
to the safari life.
TOBY: I got a theory
on what's going on
with our
dung-smelling Magellan.
Care to share?
Not yet.
I want to watch this monkey
in his unnatural
habitat a bit longer.
Hang on. Sly,
say that again.
All right, Walt.
Drop the droppings.
Let's move it.
Sly got a hit.
(quietly):
Ooh. Nice.
CABE:
Hey.
Look who finally woke up.
How'd you sleep?
(sighs)
Camper still smells like Ray.
How'd the couch treat you?
It didn't.
Was up all night
working with the team.
That's a lie.
They were flying
all night.
You didn't get any sleep
because you're upset
that they bailed you out.
They shouldn't
have gotten involved.
Scorpion is too important
to risk for one man.
Isn't it the Marines who say,
"No man left behind"?
Shut up and eat your eggs.
(sighs)
Hello, gang.
Any progress?
Yeah, several
smelly pounds of it.
We got a match.
The poached rhinos
came from this valley.
Which means the poachers
aren't far from here.
We just need to alert...
(gunshot)
Whoa, poachers might be closer
than you realized.
Africa has been nice,
but we got to go.
Happy, follow us!
We're Oscar Mike!
SYLVESTER:
Oscar Mike?!
Why are we following him
towards the gunfire?!
Sunglasses don't mean he's Cabe!
CABE: Walter, do not go
towards the gunshots.
Hello?
When the hell did everybody
stop listening to me?
WALTER:
There. He has a gun.
(gunshot)
ADISSA:
Hey!
Let's go.
(animal mewling)
He shot this poor deer.
It's a spotted munt deer.
Only about five left
in the world.
Hunted to the brink
of extinction
because its organs are
wrongfully believed
to cure cancer.
This animal alone
could be worth half a million
on the black market.
That means he won't
leave it behind.
He's going for reinforcements.
It's suffering.
It's a through-and-through
abdominal.
Sutures can stabilize her,
but if we don't get her
to the animal sanctuary,
she won't survive.
Well, let's throw her
in the back of the Jeep.
SYLVESTER:
Hey.
I get that there's
only four of them,
but there's only one Sylvester
Dodd, and I'm an animal, too,
and I'd really like
to preserve me.
Cabe said dudes with guns
are coming back
to collect this critter.
Critters, plural.
She's pregnant.
What?
TOBY: Uterus is punctured
and amniotic
fluid is leaking.
This womb is compromised.
Based on the
crown/rump length,
I'm guessing it's halfway
through its gestation period.
It's way too young
to survive outside the womb.
CABE:
Damn it, get out of there.
I am not there to protect you.
Okay, you guys heard
the angry man in Los Angeles.
Let's skedaddle.
No damn way. You want to let
this mother and baby die?
It's not my preference,
but I'd really like
to let this baby live.
Paige, I respect
your motherly instincts,
but there's just no way
this fawn can live
without a womb.
It might be insane,
but can we build one?
SYLVESTER:
Not "might be."
It is insane.
Hold on. I've seen you geeks
build a gun with a paper towel
tube and a urinal cake.
You crafted a
submarine escape hatch
from an oil drum,
so if it's possible,
figure out a way
to build this kid a-a womb.
Actually, a kid
is a baby goat.
Toby, you're playing with fire.
WALTER: Paige.
It's impossible.
PAIGE:
Walter.
You ever want to see me naked
again, you figure this out.
You heard her, team.
Let's save these deer.
♪ Scorpion 4x03 ♪
Grow a Deer a Female Deer
Original Air Date on Octobe
An artificial womb.
Warmth, protection, oxygen,
everything a mother gives,
minus the crippling guilt.
So, we got to build that first
because baby's weakest.
Then I can triage mama.
Even if we build this perfectly,
odds are high that
mama and baby will die.
ADISSA: Poachers
might be back soon.
I'm giving Solomon
our coordinates.
All right, team.
Time to order up
a little womb service.
My medical bag has sterile
salt water with antibiotics
that will sub in
for the amniotic fluid.
The truck's heat sensor
will help us keep the baby
at 99 degrees,
the exact temperature
of a real deer womb.
A cassava root's cell walls
will act as a placenta,
providing oxygen,
which will reach the baby
via the umbilical cord,
plastic tubing
from the poacher's water bag.
Now all we need
is something soft
to create a wall
for the fake womb.
The windows. We can
melt the edges together
to form a bag.
It will be a while
before Solomon arrives.
I hope the poachers
don't get here first.
Well, I will keep them
at bay if they...
(gunshot)
Was that a gunshot?
It was unintended.
My mistake.
CABE:
Walt, I say this with love,
but you better put that
gun in Adissa's hands
or when I see you I am
gonna put my foot in your...
Copy.
HAPPY: There's still enough
plastic here to make a womb,
but only a single layer.
Well, it'll have to work.
Right, Walter?
SYLVESTER:
Guys, I've been searching
the poacher's bag for matches
so we can melt the plastic
and I found some.
Look what else I found.
His sat phone.
That will have
all his contacts in it.
Every scumbag he works with.
You could kill
the whole operation.
Yes, but it's encrypted.
You've got to crack it.
Linking it to you now, Ralph.
RALPH:
Got it.
It's as good as Mother Nature.
Hurry up, Doc, she's in pain.
Okay.
Bedtime for Mommy Deer-est.
Tough crowd.
Won't that hurt her?
It's just gonna make her sleep
so that I can remove the baby.
Hey. Don't worry.
It's gonna be as easy
as A-B-C-section.
No?
Out cold with a strong
pulse. I'm ready.
Okay. I'll assist.
TOBY: Perfect.
Happy, be ready to cut
the umbilical cord
and connect the baby's end
to the plastic tube.
You know how I feel about blood.
Yeah, well, we need the mitts
of someone who's hooked up
a million fuel lines.
Happy, get your ass over here
and do what he says.
Bring enough
hand sanitizer?
We came here to examine dung,
so to answer your question, no.
Short clamp.
A sponge.
Validation.
No other doctor in the world
could do this.
That's just what I need to hear
before removing this little one.
(grunts)
A not-yet-ready-for-prime-time
girl.
Is it working?
Might be a surprise,
but this is my first time
super-gluing an umbilical cord
and plastic tubing.
Got it.
This should hold tight.
Squeamish, yes,
but when the pressure is on,
she's rock solid.
Sly, hand sanitizer now.
How will we know
if it's working?
Blood in the tubing will mean
her heart is beating.
Look at that.
Blood from her body
into the root
and then the oxygenated blood
returns.
Damn good engineering, Doc.
Thanks, darling.
Walt, send this little
girl to her womb.
All right, look,
these are the jokes, folks.
Incredible work, team.
Now hurry up and get the hell
out of there.
We're packing up.
Put this over her.
I got munt deer slobber
all over me.
My dad and I might not
agree on much,
but he sure was right
about Boscoe.
Boscoe?
When I was a boy,
I found a stray mutt.
Boscoe.
He was dirty.
He chewed up the furniture.
He left me presents
in my sneakers.
(clears throat)
So, when Dad finally decided
to give him to another family,
I was thrilled.
That's why I like birds.
They keep their distance.
Getting up close and personal
with an animal? A real hassle.
Animals are my life's work.
Never too late
to switch careers.
TOBY:
Guys, we got a problem.
She's down to 97 degrees.
If she reaches 95,
and at this rate,
she will in a matter
of minutes, she'll die.
We-we have to warm her up.
Car engine?
No, that's too hot.
It's gonna cook her.
Light a fire.
That'll melt the womb.
No, what we needed was
two layers of plastic
to retain the heat,
which we had
until Walter Gallo blasted
the window with a shotgun.
"Walter Gallo"?
What does that mean?
It means your psyche
is having you mimic Cabe
because you blame yourself
for his arrest.
You feel guilty
he's not here,
and now you're
making him be here
and that fawn is gonna die!
That's nonsense.
I'm not channeling Cabe.
I'm sorry, I couldn't hear
over your sunglasses.
One more comment and my foot
and your ass are...
Oh, boy.
Exactly.
PAIGE:
Children,
if we're done,
temperature is going up.
SYLVESTER:
Brilliant.
Nature's best source
of soothing warmth,
a mother's bosom.
Well, you're one hot mama.
TOBY: That's a smart fix,
but it's only temporary.
Body heat is only
gonna last for so long.
She's never gonna make the two
hour drive to the compound.
We have to find a more efficient
way to keep the baby warm.
Okay, I'm checking
U.S. satellite maps.
There's a Danish oil exploration
camp about five miles northeast.
They must have
controlled heaters
for the cold days out here.
I can modify one
to warm the womb.
Okay, uh, let's split up.
Now, uh, Sly and Adissa,
take mama deer to the compound.
The rest of us will take
the baby to the Danish camp.
I'll call Solomon and
divert him to the camp.
He'll provide protection on
our way back to the compound.
But you and I
will be transporting
the animal worth a fortune
without protection
from poachers?!
Wonderful!
(deer mewling)
I think she's in distress.
Then comfort her.
Comfort her? How?
(deer continues mewling)
Here. Nuts and seeds.
Eat. You need your strength.
You're eating right out
of my hand.
Just like Boscoe used to do.
(gunshots)
What did I say about animals?!
They are always a hassle!
(gunshots)
SYLVESTER: Cabe?
We need help.
Two poachers on ATVs
are after us.
You still have
a weapon, right?
Yes.
Just a second...
Scratch that.
No weapon.
Well, what else do you got
to work with there?
A spare gas can, uh,
ah, some duct tape.
Um, shotgun shells.
And a pocket knife.
All right, well, we can make
an explosive.
That sounds dangerous.
So are the poachers.
Do what he says.
CABE:
Open the cap...
and stick a shell in it.
Then I want you to insert
the knife into the spout
so it's touching the shell.
Then invert the spout
back into the can.
(bullets ricocheting)
CABE: The knife will work
as a firing pin--
it'll create a spark.
They are coming up
behind us.
Sylvester, you all right?
Yeah, we're safe.
For now.
Okay.
Thanks, Cabe.
WALTER:
There's Solomon.
(horn honks)
I took the liberty
of gathering items
you might find useful.
I can modify this
flameless battery-powered
camp stove-- it should
warm the fawn.
SYLVESTER (over radio):
Guys, we have a problem.
(engine sputters, dies)
We're out of gas.
The poachers will call
for backup
and return with
more firepower.
Do you have any more fuel?
I had a whole can of it,
but you made me turn it
into a bomb.
CABE:
Okay, listen up.
You can't run carrying
a 70-pound munt deer.
So it's time to hunker down
and get tactical.
Tactical. Yes.
How do I do that?
CABE:
During the Revolutionary War,
George Washington was
surrounded and outnumbered,
so his men lit
several campfires.
The British saw that,
and they thought the Bluejackets
were still there
while Washington's troops were
escaping across the East River.
There are no rivers here.
You got to make them think
you're somewhere you're not.
So check your surroundings.
Look around you, Sly.
What do you see? Think.
Nothing but brush.
The western peregrine.
They utilize a unique
defense mechanism,
and we're gonna copy it.
(device beeps)
Perfect 99 degrees.
Hey, Sly,
whatever you're planning,
be careful,
those guys are killers,
be it animal or human.
You be careful, too.
I stripped the insulation
on these prongs.
Touch 'em, and you'll feel 'em
down in your gooty,
and not in a good way.
Okay. Let's get back
to the compound and
reunite her with her mommy.
Dangerous passage. I'll lead.
I'll go with you.
You guys follow and keep
an eye out for poachers.
POACHER:
Tire marks.
Over there.
They can't be far.
We just need to figure out
which direction they went.
There you go.
Look at the dummy nest,
you dummies.
Come on, Jane, eat.
Jane?
Yeah.
Jane Doe.
Don't like that
she won't eat.
Heart rate is over 200.
She's dehydrated
due to blood loss.
She needs medical attention.
Well, we can't move
until the poachers
follow the fake boot prints.
I made them nonobvious
as to not be suspicious,
but come on.
(cell phone vibrating)
Hello?
They won't let me change
my assignment,
so I'm stuck with you.
(whispering):
Patty, not now.
What the hell?
Keep working the
phone encryption.
PATTY: I'm gonna make the
best of the situation.
That means baking
shortbread crisps
whether you like it or not.
CABE:
Excuse me.
Who are you?
I work for Alderman Dodd.
Assume the oven
in your garage works?
Hey, hey, hey, hey,
wait a minute.
Mr. Gallo.
I have great news.
Well, that's good.
After the day I'm having,
I could use some.
Prosecutor is offering
three years.
Three years?!
I know, it's pretty good, right?
- I've got the paperwork right here.
- But I'm innocent.
PATTY: If you're innocent,
don't sign.
Do you guys have a mixer?
Who's that?
I have no idea.
Oh. So you're
out of jail and okay.
Would've been nice to know.
Allie, I didn't want you
to be worried.
You call and tell me you're
arrested, then radio silence.
I don't know what's going on and
I leave message after me...
Do I look like
I'm not worried?
She looks worried.
Shut up.
Uh, Mr. Gallo,
these kind of conversations
are supposed to be privileged,
I think.
Is there some place we could go?
I'm about to tell you
where you can go.
Three years is a solid offer.
Three years?!
PATTY:
Don't take the deal.
But you should apologize
to that lady.
Who is that?
I have no idea.
The federal sentencing guideline
is seven years.
The sentencing
for an innocent person is zero.
ALLIE: You're talking plea
with your lawyer
and you haven't
even told me.
Don't you think I'd care
that maybe I won't see you
for three years?!
He's not my lawyer.
Uh, yes, I am.
No, you're fired.
Now you're not.
PATTY (chuckles):
Ooh-ooh, roasted.
Fine. I didn't take the bar four
times to be treated like this.
You know what?
He's got the right idea.
Allie.
You guys are
out of vanilla extract!
Who the hell are you?!
I cracked the sat phone.
It's a network
of connected lines.
If I call all the
numbers in the network,
each phone will ping
off a local cell tower.
I'll be able to track
every poacher's location.
Dialing the network now.
We'll be able to ID
every guy in the network,
the grunts, the buyers
and the middlemen.
(cell phones ringing)
(quietly):
Ralph, your plan is working.
(cell phone ringing)
I can still hear ringing
in my comms.
Yeah, me too.
But it's not coming
from Sly's location.
Oh, Walter!
CABE:
Walt.
If Solomon's phone is ringing,
clear your throat.
(ringing)
I never answer "blocked caller."
(clears throat)
Walter, Solomon
is a poacher!
(cell phone ringing)
(phone ringing)
So, um, who do you think it is?
Is he making a fist?
Not good.
TOBY: Walter,
you are not Cabe.
Maybe it's
trouble calling?
Huh?
Why would he punch him?
That isn't his strong suit.
Uh-oh.
(grunting)
(yells)
If it can take down
a munt deer...
"Trouble's calling"?
You could do better?
Prescription?
Bed rest.
That's actually pretty good.
Do I sound like that?
Footprints!
Uh-huh, this way.
Now.
(truck door closes)
(engine starts)
Go!
(gunfire)
What now?
It worked.
Compound, here we come!
Strange for someone who dislikes
animals to throw his body
over a deer to protect it
from bullets.
Just drive.
Get on a dextrose
saline IV stat.
Careful.
SYLVESTER:
Okay, mama's at the compound.
Where's her kid?
We're minutes out.
And a kid is a baby goat,
but we have a fawn.
RALPH (over radio):
Stop!
Oh, come on, Ralph,
it's just wordplay.
No, stop now. There's
a poacher roadblock ahead.
I'm still tracking their phones.
I can see them all gathering.
CABE: Solomon was leading
you guys into an ambush.
I've called
the Defense Department.
They've notified
the Bozattan military.
They're on their way.
Okay. So we'll wait here
until they get rounded up.
Negative-- I'm seeing
three to four poachers
closing in from behind.
We can't stay put, we can't
move back, we can't go forward.
Our little girl here's
running out of time.
Cabe, how far is the
compound as the crow flies?
Well, it's a half mile
due east over a hill.
We're making a break for it.
Out there?
With the poachers?
Walt, I don't want
to get mounted
over a fireplace.
The tall grass will shield us
if we stay low. Here.
Hurry. Hurry,
let's move, let's go.
(monitor beeping)
The surgical team is prepping
the OR in "B" wing
so we can clean her wound
and wash it with antibiotics.
Your team did a great job.
(beeping falters briefly)
Is... that
an abnormal heartbeat?
Yes, but she's
dehydrated.
It's standard to have a few.
I'll be back for her
when the OR is ready.
(beeping continues)
Poachers found your Jeep.
They're entering the grass.
Are these too salty?
Kid, could not be a worse time.
Mm, no, it's delicious.
Knew the recipe was wrong.
Ah, this is
an interesting development.
CABE:
Keep as low as you can, guys.
Any lower, I'd be a groundhog.
Or a politician.
SYLVESTER:
Toby,
Jane's abnormal heartbeats
are speeding up
at a common ratio,
geometrically increasing rate.
By my calculations,
in 210 seconds,
she'll have 130
abnormal heartbeats a minute.
Her heart won't be able to
withstand that, where's the vet?
Uh, she's prepping the OR in
the "B" wing, wherever that is.
You don't have time
to look for them.
You have to shock her heart.
Is there a defibrillator nearby?
Yes!
But it looks like
it hasn't been used in a while.
(gun clicks)
Get up, and give me the animal.
I said get up!
Hand over the munt deer.
Now!
(electricity discharging)
Run!
POACHER:
This way!
RALPH:
Run, Mom!
They know where you are!
Are you kidding me?
(steady beep)
No, no, no.
Not yet, I-I don't have
any conductive gel!
(grunts)
Or do I?
Yes.
A water and alcohol mix
will conduct electricity.
Okay.
There we go.
(whirring)
(panting):
All right.
This might sting a little.
No.
Come on.
No. No.
I can't lose you
like I lost Boscoe!
No.
(beeping)
Oh.
(panting)
That's a good girl.
That's my girl.
WALTER:
The wildlife center. Guys!
We're almost there.
Get your heads down!
(bullets ricocheting)
This animal has no heat source,
open up an incubator!
(grunts) Here.
Okay.
(panting)
She's okay.
You need to regulate
this hot box
so she stays
at 99 degrees.
Great job.
She's gonna live.
And I know you didn't do
it just to see me naked,
but you're gonna
get to anyway.
What's taking so long in there?
Jane's going to be fine.
And her baby?
Your friends are with her now.
She's going to make it.
I have more good news.
The Bozatta Army
captured the poachers.
And with the data
your friend decrypted
from the satellite phone, the
entire operation is going down.
Boscoe would be proud.
Got a text from your mom.
They're a few minutes out.
Can't you make anything
other than scrambled eggs?
No. Now eat.
You know, without your
hackin' and crackin' today,
they would have never
taken down those poachers.
I'm proud of you, kiddo.
You helped, too.
If you hadn't shown Sly
how to make that explosive,
he and Adissa and the deer
would've been goners.
Feels good
helping the team, right?
Of course.
But you don't like it
when they help you.
I never took you
for a hypocrite.
Now, hold on a second.
The team helped you, and you
need to accept that help
so that they can feel good, too.
You think
you're being selfless
when you're really
being selfish.
(door opens)
Mom!
Ralph. Come here.
Oh. (laughs)
TOBY:
Okay.
I'm starved. Kovelsky's?
Can't afford it.
Well, I've got some
leftover chicken upstairs.
Well, we got
frozen veggies down here.
Potluck soup it is.
Give me another hug.
Want to help me?
Sure.
Uh, waitress, you went all
turbocharged mama bear today
on the savannah. Even
tore me a new one. I liked it.
Yeah, when it comes to
mamas and their babies,
I can get a
little nuts.
It's okay.
There's nothing stronger
than the mother-child bond.
Hello. Just came
to get my cookies.
Oh, I'm-I'm sorry.
Who are you?
Who cares?
There's cookies here?
I'm Patty,
Alderman Dodd's intern.
I'd left extra shortbreads
for your team,
but they were such a hit
I need all of them
to grease the wheels
of the government.
Um, you don't need all of 'em.
Your loss, Doc.
They were scrumptious.
Ralph doesn't like shortbread.
Yeah, but he sure likes her.
Actually, there might
be one thing
stronger than
the mother-child bond.
This is an interesting
development.
That's what I said.
I don't like this one bit.
Alderman.
Patty. Glad you're here.
Can you explain this?
Mr. Dodd, this is Tyson Bales.
Want to let you know
you've got my vote
for the library basement.
Stella Johnson's, too.
Looks like your science club
has a home.
Congrats.
You got this done
with shortbread crisps?
It's simple.
Kim Becker and Kyle Metney
both have dads
learning the banjo,
so their votes were going
to the Strummin' Seniors.
You have to win over Tyson
Bales and Stella Johnson.
And they don't know you.
Probably don't even like you,
since they were friends
with the man you replaced.
But know who they love?
Santa?
Mrs. Pine,
their fifth grade teacher.
She comes to their swearing-in
ceremony every year,
and then they take her
to Sweet Toto's Bakery
for coffee and...
Shortbread crisps.
So you buttered up
Mrs. Pine with the crisps
and she told them
to support the science club.
That's bribery.
That's politics.
Will you listen to me
from now on?
Depends.
Will you be nice?
I'll be nicer.
I'll take it.
You could've left me a cookie.
TOBY:
Gather up, everyone.
Happy and I
are setting up a surprise.
HAPPY: Cabe, can you and Sly
put the couch movie-style?
So... today,
what, uh, Toby said about you
doing Cabe impersonations...
Uh, it was not,
uh, an impersonation.
Live action role-playing?
Your point?
I think you were
having a hard time today
because of what happened to Cabe
and it affected you
in a really, really weird way.
And I want you to
know just because
I'm your girlfriend
now doesn't mean
I can't still do my job.
So when you're having
emotional stuff, like EQ issues,
I'm-I'm here
to help you.
Our relationship
doesn't change that.
Thank you.
There we go.
Almost showtime.
Uh... before you
raise the curtain,
I would like
to say something.
I can fire a crossbow,
dance a decent box step...
make a mean grilled cheese.
Thanks for sharing, Cabe.
I think Grandpa's
starting to slip.
But what I'm not good at
is accepting help.
You put it on the line for me:
prized possessions,
money, Scorpion.
I'm sorry
for not being grateful.
Thank you.
Our pleasure.
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I'll, uh...
I need to apologize to Allie.
(door opens)
Okay.
(door closes)
Well, food's
almost ready.
What's the main attraction?
Bambi.
My munt deer!
It's a live compound feed.
They're gonna let Jane
visit her baby every day
to keep their bond intact.
Nothing's gonna break that bond.
Not even a punk
with cookies.
Huh?
Nothing.
Just watch the deer, dear.