Scorpion (2014–2018): Season 4, Episode 13 - The Bunker Games - full transcript

Team Scorpion is locked in a doomsday bunker with artificial intelligence bent on killing them.

WALTER:
Previously on Scorpion...

It's Quincy Berkstead.

The man who stole
your fiancée?

QUINCY: You're the reason
Amy left you.

The only person you blame is me.

WALTER:
We're married?

PAIGE: So, tell me more
about this dream.

There's nothing to tell.

The best part
was getting to meet you.

CABE:
I got

my own exercise regimen.
I'm not doing this.



Like hell you're not.

Homeland stated
specifically, "All agents

"returning to the field
after extended medical absence,

"sabbatical, or other leave

must pass the federal
physical fitness standards."

Director Carson is saying
your suspension falls

under "other leave."
You have to take the test.

Carson's just mad
'cause I beat him in court.

You fail, you
get desk duty.

Which means you can't
be Scorpion's liaison.

Good news is,
my workout works.

We do resistance
running with parachutes

and sled training...

There's no way
I can pass that test.



It was originally designed for
recruits coming out of college.

And that's who will
take your job.

It's unbelievable.

You dedicate your whole life
to your work--

blood, sweat, and tears.

And then one day,
younger people

with less experience
come in and take over.

Not going to let
that happen.

Go grab your gym
clothes, okay?

We've got work to do.

WALTER: I'm sure
you'll do great, Paige.

You're smart
and very organized.

Thank you, sweetie.

Uh, don't thank me.

Thank the Walteration One.

I don't even want to know.

I created an artificial
intelligence device programmed

with over a billion
possible stimuli responses

in preparation for today's
doomsday bunker inspection.

I don't like those things.

Creepy.
SYLVESTER: It's progress.

I mentioned that we were
almost out of Fruity Moons,

and the Walteration

ordered a new box online

without even asking.

CABE:
And that's the problem.

Nobody does anything
for themselves anymore.

Nobody can spell
because of spell-check,

can't remember a phone number
because of the speed dial.

Mark my words,

someday it's gonna be
Rise of the Machines.

And who's that
gonna be good for?

Robots are the future.

Anyway, we got to go.
Bunker's not close.

Happy and Toby better be back
from their honeymoon soon.

Actually, just Happy.

Oh, right. How did Toby
take the news about the job?

Why are you asking me?

You handle our EQ issues.

And it's gonna
be emotional for Toby.

You know, falls within
your job description, not mine.

TOBY:
What'll be emotional for Toby?

Oh. Hey, guys.

How was your honeymoon?

That's a nice
diversion attempt.

What's going on?
Nothing.

Nothing major. We just have
that bunker inspection

for SafeCorp Survival.

Right. The doomsday guys.

SafeCorp Survival.

Founded in 2004.

A survival preparation
company specializing

in post-apocalyptic housing.

I don't even want to know.

Seems SafeCorp wants
their AI checked

and their coding screened

and their facial recognition
software tested.

TOBY:
Yeah, probably want

their system analyzed

by the world's
most qualified behaviorist

so that people don't go cuckoo
for Armageddon Puffs

while spending five years
underground.

Right?

Well, yes and no.

I'm out of here.
WALTER: It appears

SafeCorp has their own
in-house behaviorist,

so they asked that you...
not come along.

I'm-I'm so... I'm so sorry.

My-my hearing must be going,

because I thought
that you just said

that they don't want to hire
a Harvard-trained behaviorist

'cause they got
some rink-a-dink shrink.

No,

your hearing's fine.

Well, who is this quack?

They didn't say.
It's not important.

They're-they're the client.
It's their call.

This is really great.
(door opens)

Just when I thought
I couldn't feel any lower.

Hello, everyone.

Are we leaving soon
to inspect the bunker?

She gets to go?

They wanted a-a chemist

to inspect
their water filtration system.

But it's gonna
be fine. Cabe and I

are gonna stay back
and exercise.

You can join us.

TOBY:
Oh, that's great.

I-I get lumped in with you two.

You know, no offense,
but I have a 178 IQ!

Incorrect.
Toby Curtis's IQ is 170,

the lowest on Team Scorpion.

Hey. You okay?

How would you feel
if you were told

you weren't wanted on a case?

That's not it.

You said you couldn't
feel any lower.

Folks returning from their
honeymoon usually have

a little more spring
in their step.

Uh, we got a flat
on the way to Mexico,

and Happy insisted on fixing it.

And then our, um, ocean view

could only be seen while
standing on a chair

in the bathtub.

And then when I complained to
the manager, he wouldn't budge.

And to top it all off,
despite me checking

every available
weather forecast,

it rained the entire time.

So, I failed on every front.

But that's romantic.
Newlyweds, stuck in a room,

rain pouring down.

What? Toby, my only job here
on Scorpion is to help you guys.

You need to trust me.

Um...

(quietly):
After all that happened,

uh, my confidence was at zero.

So...

when the baby-making show
was supposed to commence...

I couldn't raise the curtain.

Oh.

Well, that...

I mean, that happens.

It's no big deal.

When you're trying
to get pregnant,

it's a pretty big deal.
You know better

than anyone
it's-it's probably all mental.

You just need
to get your mojo back.

Yeah, well, nothing makes you
feel manly like being told

to stay behind while Florence
the Pixie takes your place.

Did you mean
"Florence and the Machine"?

Or the "Pixies"?

Both are successful
indie rock bands.

Seems like
something's wrong here.

That's what Happy said.

Huh?
Toby is

just upset that Florence
is coming along when he isn't.

Well, I can check
the filtration systems.

Florence doesn't need to come.

No, she has more chemistry
expertise than you.

Besides,
she needs the work.

Boosts our fee. Win-win.

I just think it's unfair to Toby
to bring in an outsider.

An outsider?

She saved your life.

I thought you were okay
with her now.

I am, but...

Good!
Then everything's settled.

That's also what
Happy said.

What are you talking about?

No, never mind me.

What's up with
lying to Paige?

I read deception
all over you.

And you could normally care less

whether I find something unfair
or not.

I need your professional opinion
about a dream I had.

Did it involve leaving me behind
in the garage?

(quietly):
No. It involved Florence and I

kissing in the garage.

I dreamt we were married.

Yowza. Wow.

Oh, that's why you don't want
her coming along.

You feel guilty
about your perverted dream, huh?

It wasn't perverse.

It happened
when I was unconscious

from falling down the stairs.
Mm-hmm.

Toby, I Th...
I thought I loved Paige.

You can relax. The fact that

you feel so guilty proves
that you do love her.

Look, your dream is just
a function of biology, you know?

You're unconscious, but the
olfactory and auditory centers

of your brain continue
to provide stimuli.

You know?
Florence found you,

and she yelled at you
to wake up, right?

So, you heard her--
she winds up in your dream.

But my wife?

Kissing me?

She was trying
to keep you alive, right?

She was caring for you.

So your subconscious made her
someone that fits that role,

a spouse.

You did
nothing wrong.

Thank you.
(chuckles softly)

That's helpful.
Yeah.

Well, try to get whatever
behaviorist SafeCorp hired

to do that.

So, can I come along?

No.

You know what, go ahead.

I really don't give a crap.

Laxatives are sold
in nine markets and pharmacies

within
a three-mile radius.

Shut up.

Should I put in one of those
comms like you guys always wear?

Not today. Bunker has shielding
that renders them useless.

Hello, Team Scorpion.

Quincy Berkstead?

What are you doing here?
FLORENCE: Isn't he

the pop psychologist
that sells books

in supermarkets?

By the millions.
SYLVESTER: You are

the behaviorist
that SafeCorp hired?

Not hired.
I received equity in the company

in exchange for my work
in human dynamics,

customizing the bunker so people
can live in it for years

while keeping their sanity.

Speaking of which,
I am about to lose mine.

Walt, I am not working
with this jerk.

Why do you guys hate him?

He married Toby's ex-girlfriend.

Stole Toby's ex-fiancée.

He's a snake.
QUINCY: Please,

don't let my past with Mr. Curtis...

HAPPY: Doctor Curtis.

My mistake.

Don't let our past keep Scorpion
from a lucrative job.

And we'd benefit
as well:

a sign-off from a team
of geniuses

would set buyers' minds at ease.

You should be flattered
I chose you.

I'm no psychiatrist, but maybe
your getting your jollies

by humiliating my husband

factored into
your decision.

Toby got married?

Fantastic.

Then he's finally stopped pining
after my wife and it's all

in the past
and we can get

to work.
WALTER: Quincy, given

the situation,
we can't accept the job.

I need this job
done ASAP.

I'll double your fee.

We could give Toby a cut.

It would hurt
Toby's feelings

if he knew

that we were working
with Quincy.

Screw his feelings.
We need a bedroom set.

Excellent.
Shall we?

The entire bunker is run by
our AI module, Dorie. May she?

Welcome, Walter O'Brien,
founder of Scorpion;

Alderman Sylvester Dodd;

Florence Tipton,
PhD in chemistry

from the University of Texas;

and Happy Quinn,
mechanical prodigy

and pop star, alias Feliz.

("Amigo Amigável" playing)

Dorie's
a cutting-edge AI system.

And the security
is no less advanced.

Instead of a pickable lock
or a hackable password,

the owner can gain access
by blowing on this sensor.

National Institutes
of Health Study recently found

each person
has unique gut flora.

Like a gastronomic fingerprint.

Exactly.

Eventually, it will be
programmed for the purchaser.

For now, it's set up for me.

(beeps)

This way.

Uh, can we leave
the door open?

I'm a teensy
claustrophobic.

Not a problem.

Bunker's unfinished,

but security mechanisms
are complete.

Intercoms, cameras.

Six-foot-thick
steel walls encase

composite carbon graphene.

It can withstand
a nuclear blast.

Owners can wait out

an apocalyptic scenario
in comfort for five years.

To prevent claustrophobia,
it even has windows.

When completed,
there'll be thousands of vistas

to choose from.

For now, I've put in photos
Amy and I took on our honeymoon.

That's Amy?
Yes.

Not only beautiful,
but a very accomplished

geneticist.

This is us riding
on Jimbaran Beach.

Took those balloons
right across Nusa Dua.

Breathtaking.

Just like our honeymoon.
Enjoyed Bali so much,

we bought a second home there.

Well, second vacation home.
TOBY: Have no fear!

The real psychiatrist is here!

Quincy Berkstead?

SYLVESTER:
Toby!

What are you doing here?

Well, I had to see
why I was left on the bench.

For this guy?

Seriously?
WALTER: I told

Happy you'd be mad,
but sh-she wanted furniture.

Okay, Quincy is part
owner of SafeCorp.

He made the call
to keep you back.

You really shouldn't
be here, Toby.

You excluded me 'cause you're
threatened by my intellect.

Intellect?
The last time I saw you,

you feigned throwing acid
in my face.

- Oh, just get over it, baby.
- I'm telling you, you don't want to be here.

Why? 'Cause I'd show you up?
AMY: Quincy, really?

Nobody wants to
see me in my bikini.

All I did was eat
that entire trip.

What'd you eat? Air?

Amy?

Toby?

Is that you under all that?

QUINCY: You need to leave!
This is

a high-tech facility.
High-tech?

Quincy, do you realize
that I got past...

Don't!
...your stupid AI with this cheap scarf!

(alarm blaring)

DORIE:
Protocol One initiated.

I'm guessing that's
not a good protocol?

It's on lockdown.
We need to get out.

Too late!

Dorie, open the exit.

DORIE:
Request denied.

Enemy infiltration detected.

Quincy, did you program me
into the system as an enemy?!

Dorie warns of any strangers,
but responds proactively

to pre-programmed threats.

I needed a placeholder

for demonstration purposes,
and you tortured me.

Only psychologically!

AMY: Look, if Dorie thinks
that Toby is a threat,

why is she locking us
in with him?

Dorie knows where Toby is,
and she's contained him.

The fact that
he's trapped in with us

is a problem
she'll try to solve next.

Solve me?
What is that, a euphemism?

WALTER:
AI is patient.

It'll hold us in here
until it figures out

what to do,
and that could take years.

Can we drill our way out?

It would take weeks with a laser
saw, and we don't have one.

We can decipher this conundrum,
and if it takes a few days,

at least we have a supply
of water and food.

QUINCY: Wrong.
Since the bunker's

still under construction,

it's only been stocked
with cleaning supplies.

There is no food or water,

and only enough air
for 24 hours.

Well, this is the last job
I'm going on with you people.

♪ Scorpion 4x13 ♪
The Bunker Games
Original Air Date on January 15, 201

All right, just take deep
breaths, hold and exhale.

(exhales)

Great job, Quince.

Really dynamite product
you designed here.

- Okay, clam it, Doc.It's not helping.
TOBY: No, Happy.

What isn't helping is

this talk show doctor's
death silo locking us in a tomb.

Toby, you're not really gonna
blame Quincy for this, are you?

I mean, you showed up uninvited.
You set off the alarm.

Remember when we used to
talk about your inability

to take responsibility
for your actions?

You're right.

I'm sorry.

FLORENCE:
Okay, you guys stopped

a nuclear satellite,

a runaway cargo ship
and an extinction event.

You can't get us out
of a hole in the ground?

There's no cell signal.

The emergency phone was just
installed a few days ago.

On it.

You never showed me pictures
of Amy. Now I know why.

What? Her?

She's ugly.

(phone rings) Oh. Hey, Walt.
How's bunker life?

WALTER: AI locked us in here.
We need help.

DORIE:
Shutting down communications.

Cabe, team's in trouble.
We need to call SafeCorp.

Coming!

Take the damn
parachute off!

Nothing is working.

Dorie,
turn communications back on.

Negative. I must prevent

Tobias Curtis
from contacting other threats.

You know what? It's okay. Cabe
and Paige know we're in here.

TOBY: Walt, no offense, but you got
the Globetrotters of Scorpion in here

and you're waiting for the
Washington Generals to save us?

I don't understand
that reference, but...

your tone was sarcastic.

So, either stop
complaining,

or come up with a solution.

I'm feeling
a little bit stuffy in here.

Is anybody else
feeling stuffy?

Okay, Toby, calm
this kid down.

Uh, Quincy, are
there any systems

that are functional or completed

in this joint?
Uh, bathrooms,

gaming system, gym,
trash compactor.

AMY:
That's it! The trash compactor.

It has hydraulics.
We can remove them

and then use them

to force the door open.
That's brilliant.

Outstanding.
Terrific.

Whatever.
WALTER: Okay, Happy,

Quincy and I will

go work on the
hydraulics.

Amy, Sly and Flo,

you go to the control room,
try to override Dorie.

Computers and code
aren't really my strength.

Perhaps I should go with you?

No. We got it.

Off you go.

Come on. I'll show you
where the control room is.

And I'll take you
to the compactor.

Whoa, whoa. Don't I get a job?

Oh, I have a job for you.

Why is there so much garbage

in an unmanned bunker?
QUINCY: Construction workers

need a place to toss their
excess construction materials.

And their lunch remnants.

Just unscrew the maintenance
panel like Happy asked.

Phillips-head.

You know, I'm doing this
because Happy said to,

not because you said to.

Remember,
I'm the alpha dog here.

Been published way more
than you have, Wimpy.

DORIE:
Initial search shows

Dr. Berkstead has published
nine more papers

than Tobias Curtis.

Son of a...

He has also appeared
on over 100 episodes

of syndicated
daytime television.

Quincy's an impressive guy.

Figures he'd marry Wonder Woman.

The cartoon Amazon
with an invisible plane?

(scoffs)

It's ridiculous.

You don't think
Amy's that great?

Oh, no. She's quite impressive.

I meant, the invisible plane
is ridiculous.

DARPA's decades away from
developing an invisible plane.

Just wrench the damn hydraulics.

SYLVESTER:
I am getting nowhere fast.

I can't reverse
Dorie's programming.

She blocks my every move.

It's like playing a
chess grandmaster.

Well, I'm sorry
that I'm no help.

I could have at least
been useful with the hydraulics,

but Walter seemed very averse
to that idea.

Which is strange.
No.

What is strange is that
a machine that is programmed

to protect people is going
to kill us.

Computers are logical.

Any contradiction or paradox
is beyond their grasp.

I'm running in circles here.

Let's just hope Cabe
and Paige are making progress.

Doesn't look like
he wants any visitors.

Apparently Claus Egan is our
only shot. Ring the bell.

(buzzer sounds)

EGAN:
Yeah?

Mr. Egan, we were sent here
by SafeCorp.

Our colleagues are trapped
in one of your bunkers.

Get the hell off my property!

Sir, our friends will be dead

before emergency personnel
get to them.

SafeCorp said you know
the system better than anyone

'cause you designed it,
and you're the only person

who can save
our friends' lives.

(line clicks)

(buzzer sounds)

(quietly):
This guy seems nuts.

He let us in.
He must want to help.

(shotgun cocks)

Or not.

Panel's off.
Now I just got to turn off

the electrical current
controlling the hydraulics

so Walt and Happy
can remove them

without getting electrocuted.

(alarm blares)

Hey, Quincy. What the hell?

Hey, stop messing with me!

I'm not doing it!

The door won't open!

Guys, uh, the trash compactor
is compacting,

and Toby is still in it.

It's Dorie. She waited
until Toby was in the compactor,

and once the panel was removed,
she knew

that we were close
to executing an escape plan.

She locked him in there!

HAPPY:
It'll crush him alive!

Sly, do something!

Dorie, you were designed
to compact trash,

but there's something in there
that's not trash!

DORIE:
Trash has no value.

A threat has negative value.

Tobias Curtis is a threat.

Therefore,
Tobias Curtis is trash.

Hey, Dorie, why don't you
cram it up your motherboard?

Okay, only shot is
to unscrew these hydraulics.

Toby, buy us some time!

I can handle this.

I've seen Star Wars
a thousand times.

Oh!

Ah! Ah!
I Han Solo'd your ass!

(creaking)

No, no! Oh, no! Whoa! Aah!

Hurry! Hurry!

Oh, we'll never
get this done in time!

It's getting a little tight
in here.

Screw it.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Oh.

(yelping)

Compactor stopped!

It's too late.

DORIE: Trash compactor reset
to original position.

We fought our entire honeymoon.

From the flat tire to his

stupid neurosis
over his romantic issues.

TOBY:
Are you kidding me?!

Toby?!

Yeah, I'm down here!

I'm under the floor...
with my self-esteem.

A drain?

HAPPY:
There's a small hatch here.

TOBY:
I found it in the nick of time.

It collects all the garbage
juice, and I'm in it. Hooray.

- I can't believe you're alive.
- I can't believe

you brought up my procreation
procrastination.

That's the kind of thing
spouses keep between themselves.

Hey, we have bigger problems

than your inability to
perform your marital duties.

Just leave me in here.

Happy smashed the hydraulics.

Speaking of things
that don't work...

Watch it, Wimpy.

Okay, without
the hydraulics,

we can't pry open the door;

we're back at square one.

QUINCY:
Wrong attitude.

If you were one of the millions
who read my last book,

you'd know my number one
Quincyism--

ATP: Always
Think Positive.

They're all gonna die.

I warned SafeCorp

not to use AI,
but they replaced me

with some whiz kids who said
computers were the future

'cause humans can be unstable.
(laughs)

Maybe some are
so unstable

that they come onto my land,

making up stories.

Maybe you two work for SafeCorp.

We know exactly where
you're coming from.

You don't know who to trust.

You've dedicated your life

to your work-- blood, sweat
and tears-- then one day,

younger people with way less
experience just come in

and take over.

Damn right they do.

And it's not right.

But now is your chance
to fight back.

Your chance to outsmart
their precious AI,

but only if you believe that
we're telling you the truth.

Hey, hold on now.

(grunts softly)

I'll get my blueprints.

Great speech.

Sounded familiar.

I learned from the best.

EGAN:
Key to life?

Timing is everything.

(laughs) And there's
always a chance

when Armageddon comes
and hellfire rains down,

I won't be in one of my bunkers,

while some rich
Silicon Valley

blowhard's already
sittin' pretty

in a top-flight shelter
I designed.

So, I needed
to figure out a way

to take over one
of those bunkers

to survive end-times.

Makes perfect sense.
So,

I built this secret entrance.

Behind the heater
in this utility closet,

there's a hatch leading

to an exhaust shaft which sits
on top of an industrial fan.

And our friends could climb out.
Oh, no.

Shaft's 30 feet high.

Uh, steel walls,
zero friction coefficient.

- Well, how were you gonna get in?
- Rope.

Or braided deer intestines.

But first
we're gonna need

to get a message
to your friends,

tell them where
to find the hatch.

Well, how?
They don't have cell reception.

(chuckles)

With this.

Thought you said
you hated computers.

I like to watch Antique Hunters.
(laughs)

SYLVESTER:
Toby!

Thank God you're alive.

Don't get too close--
you were just in garbage.

FLORENCE:
What are we gonna do,

now that the hydraulics are broken?
- I don't know.

Why don't we ask Quincy
and his Murder-Bot 3000.

AMY:
Toby, come on.

You're better
than comments like that.

Look, you just went through

a very terrifying
experience, and you're

taking it out on Quincy.

I'm sorry.

You kidding me?
What is she, your mom? (beeping)

You guys hear
that beeping?

It's coming from the kitchen.

(beeping stops)

WALTER:
Unbelievable.

Looks like
the Washington Generals

just scored a touchdown.

EGAN: Okay, they should have
gotten the message by now

if they were anywhere
near the kitchen.

(gasps):
Oh, my...

(groans with frustration)

Power surge. The bunker's
AI is retaliating

for being hacked.

I've done all
I can from here.

But be careful,
because who knows

what kind of security
they put up after I left.

Okay, thank you for everything.

Yeah, we got to go.

Microwave was right.

That's our way out.

It looks like the
exhaust shaft opening

is about 200 yards
from the bunker entrance.

That's why we didn't
see it when we came in.

But, guys, the microwave is
on Dorie's server,

so she read the plan
that was sent to us.

How could she stop someone
from walking up to a shaft

and dropping a rope down?
Well, we're in a room

where the walls
don't compact, so...

seems like we beat you
at your game, didn't we, Doris?

DORIE:
Yes. That is how it seems.

Okay, so we just wait for Cabe
and Paige to get here with rope,

and then
we're home free.

I still get paid, right?

Looks like we have
some time to kill.

Look, I get that
you don't like me,

but for the life of me,
I can't figure out why.

Seriously?

Yeah.

You're a foot taller,
three times girlier,

a bikini model geneticist

with a house in Bali,

who has a Svengali power
over my husband.

Plus, getting
a look at you,

now I can see why our honeymoon
went the way it did.

You have no reason
to be jealous of me, Happy.

(distant thud)
Trust me.

(gas hissing)
Wait, what's that sound?

Reality smacking me in the face.

No, it's coming
from the pipes.

Everyone,
did you hear that?

DORIE:
Protocol Two initialized.

Oh, no.

What's Protocol Two?

Protocol One
was defensive:

lockdown when
a threat's detected.

Protocol Two
is offensive:

peremptory attack.
What does that mean?

WALTER:
It means

Dorie's activating
an external gas

dispersal system.

She's gonna spray VX9
to stop intruders.

I saw a tank of it
in the bunker schematics.

VX9? That is
a deadly neurotoxin.

Cabe and Paige are on their way.

VX9 is colorless and odorless.

They'll run
right into it and die.

Along with everyone else
within a ten-mile radius.

But Dorie said we won the game.
No, actually, that little minx

said it seemed like
we had won the game,

because it seemed
that way to us.

She was getting this attack
ready the whole time.

How long will it take
to mix and disperse the gas?

20 minutes.
I'll set a timer.

Okay, well,
we might be able to stop...

(whispering):
Let's huddle, huddle, huddle.

Okay, so...

Okay, so if Dorie can
hear what we're up to,

it'll sabotage our plans.
Quincy, can Dorie's microphones

pick us up
at this decibel level?

No. The voice command technology
requires clear audio.

Okay, good.
Now, we don't have enough time

to stop the release
of the gas.

But the neurotoxins operate best
in an acidic environment,

so we can neutralize it.

FLORENCE: Yeah, it's basic
chemistry. We can do that

by adding a strong base,
like sodium hydroxide.

We can make that
from the cleaning supplies.

I'll need help.

Walter, you have more
chemistry experience

than the others.

Huh?

Fine.
HAPPY: I can build

a one-way valve
to deliver

the neutralizing agents
into the toxin chamber.

I'll need an extra pair
of hands, too.

I use micro tools all the time
in my line of work, so I'll assist.

Yay.

Toby, Quincy, unscrew

the access conduit
to the toxin chambers

so that it's
ready for when

Happy is done
building her valve.

And then, Sly,

just try your best
to slow Dorie down.

Find anything?

Powdered cleanser--
it's full of sodium carbonate.

(gasps)
Oh, my God.

What?
Huh? Nothing.

I thought we had
gotten past our differences,

but you seem upset with me.

(water stops)
Me?

No, I'm not.

Must be the stress of
being trapped underground.

Making an injection valve out of
an HVAC tube's pretty ingenious.

I got to admit, you're
kind of intimidating.

Don't patronize me.

I'm not patronizing you.

Look, you see some
photos on a wall,

and you think
that you know me?

I mean, a genius should know

that photos don't always
tell the whole story.

Oh, why, is there a fourth house
I don't know about?

You're being mean because
you feel threatened by me.

No, I'm not threatened.

I'm just a purveyor
of the facts.

And the fact is, between you
and me, I used to think

that I was the winner
'cause I got Toby--

as much as anyone who gets Toby
can be called a winner--

but now that I've met you,

I realize I was
his consolation pick.

Truth is, Quincy
lined up our honeymoon

to Bali with a conference.

All the photos were staged,

and 36 hours after
we were there,

he left to go to a
speaking engagement.

But that's what it's like
to be married to Quincy.

I will always come
after his career.

And it was the same
thing with Toby...

except it wasn't business,
it was gambling.

So you're not
the only one

who knows what it feels
like to be a second choice.

I don't know why
I'm telling you that.

'Cause I was a jerk earlier,

and I needed
to be told

to see things
from someone else's perspective?

Sorry.

It's okay.

Toby doesn't gamble anymore.

He quit gambling? How?

Well, if he didn't,
I would have walked.

Well, I'll tell you one thing,

he wouldn't do that
for a consolation pick.

That as hard as you can turn?
Come on, go faster.

The bolt is difficult to turn.
We're going as fast as we can.

Yeah, well, your "as
fast as you can" sucks.

(chuckles):
Typical.

What?

You are attacking
my physical prowess

at one activity,

because you have insecurities

about your own prowess
at another activity.

I'm not talking about this
with you, Quincy.

Well, maybe you should.

I'm a doctor--
I'd like to help.

And I can tell you

it's all in your head,
because Amy informed me

that you never had any issues
when you two were together.

You talked about this with Amy?

Well, I wanted to make sure
that it wasn't a symptom

of a larger biological issue.

She has a PhD.
I was looking out for you.

- You were looking to humiliate me.
- Easy.

You are wrenching too hard.
I got this, all right?

I'm not as useless
as you think.

You are making a feeble attempt
to prove your manhood,

and it is going
to strip the bolt!

(straining):
I know what I'm doing!

(bolt snaps)

You see what you made me do?

You got to be kidding!

BOTH:
He did it!

Okay. The hole's
too big to patch

before the toxins
get pumped through.

Now it won't just spray
the gas outside.

It'll spray into this bunker.
Killing us all.

Sly.

How long till disperse-ment?

Nine minutes.

We got to get Dorie
to stop the gas.

SYLVESTER:
I can't get through her system.

She's smarter than me.

That's nonsense.
Nobody is smarter than you.

Except for me and Ralph and four
other people I've read about.

TOBY: Sly, you can stop the gas.
You-you said earlier

that AI can't handle
a paradox, right?

Well, if you give it
a real head-scratcher,

then all its computing power
is gonna be directed

toward solving it,
and we can

slip a directive
into its mainframe.

Dorie, you are familiar
with metaphysical solipsism?

DORIE: Metaphysical solipsism
is a philosophical theory.

Correct.

It contends
that nothing truly exists

outside of one's mind.

So technically,
Toby doesn't exist.

And you don't need to eliminate
something that doesn't exist.

Hence, you don't need
to eliminate Toby.

My sensors detect
Tobias Curtis's breathing

and thermal energy;
therefore, he exists.

Metaphysical solipsism is wrong.

This is why I hated
philosophy class.

Toby, hold your breath.

She's right--
it's all about breath.

- Uh, how do I stop generating heat?
- Not your breath,

Quincy's breath.

If Sly can get
Dorie preoccupied

with some unsolvable
conundrum,

then her processor
will be vulnerable.

And then if we
can get Quincy topside,

he could use
his gastro-print

to access the
front-door computer

and slip an order
to stop the gas attack

past Dorie's defenses.
Yes! Quincy, you can do this...

AMY:
Quincy?

Wha...
Hey.

Come out.

We need you.
I'm sorry, I can't.

Quincy, what are you doing?
This room

is hermetically sealed.

It'll be safe
when the gas comes.

Did you ever think
we want to be in there?

Or how about all the people
in the kill radius

around the bunker you designed?

There's limited
oxygen in here.

I'm sorry.

I am not opening the door.

You dirty little
snake in the glass!

Look, I am your wife.
Are you kidding me?

I'm sorry, sweetheart,
it's very hard to hear in here.

Guys, forget about him.
We don't need him.

We need his gut flora,
and he's providing us that

by locking himself
in this airtight room.

I think I get
where you're going.

This carbon scrubber
filters the storage room's air.

He's been in there
hyperventilating

like a baby for the past minute.

It's got to have
some of his microbes in here.

If we isolate
his larger gut flora

into an airtight container,
we can blow it into the sensor.

We create static on the wire
and drag it across the scrubber,

the charged flora molecules
will stick to it,

and then we put the wire
into a compressed air can

that I carry to clean my
tools, and we're good to go.

Let's go get that can.

Okay.

Yeah. Now, we need to create
a powerful enough

electrostatic charge.
We can do that

by rubbing your polyester jacket
against my wool sweater.

Ooh, ooh...

Take it off first.

There is a plane crash.

Every single person
on board dies,

but yet,
there are two survivors.

How is this possible?

Every single person died.

The two that survived
were married.

Son of a brain teaser.
All right, smarty,

try this one on.

How does someone
lift an elephant with one hand?

They do not, as there are
no elephants with one hand.

Or two hands, for that matter.

Damn, you're good.

Guys, Cabe and Paige
just drove onto the property.

They have no idea that the gas
will be released soon.

They'll be dead in five minutes.

Crap.

Can't throw the rope
down the shaft

if we can't get past that.

Egan said there'd be some
security surprises.

TOBY:
Hey, Paige!

Cabe! Can you hear me?

Toby, we're out here,
but there's an electric fence

around the exhaust shaft.

Look, neurotoxic gas
is gonna flood where you are

in minutes.
We can stop it,

but we need you
to send down that rope.

Well, we can't
get it to you.

Egan said the exhaust shaft

is over an industrial fan.
Is that right, Toby?

Yeah, but I left my Mary Poppins
umbrella at home.

We don't need an umbrella.
We have a parachute.

That's too light.
The fan'll blow it back out.

Nope, not if we use this.

Toby, Cabe's gonna try
and throw the parachute

down into the shaft.
Step back.

All right, Cabe.
Look, hey, buddy, I know you can

make this shot.

Sure wish I didn't call 'em
the Washington Generals earlier.

You know who could
make this shot?

Is one of the young
Homeland recruits

who can pass a fitness test
without even trying.

You're trying to piss me off
to psych me up.

Working?
Yep.

There's not enough
of the wire

between the fabric--
move closer.

Closer. It's static electricity,
not real electricity.

Okay, I popped the top
of the air canister.

And I'm covering it
so it doesn't lose pressure.

Give me the wire.
It should have

enough charge by now.

Right.

Here. The scrubber.

Look, I know it's invisible, but
I have a really good feeling

we're getting what we need
off this thing.

I really wish I could help, Amy.

You know me
and my survival instinct issues.

They're actually why
I was drawn to this business

in the first place.

Something for us to explore
when this is all over.

What the hell is that?

Uh, there's a
change of plans.

There's a huge
electrical fence,

so Paige and Cabe
can't get to us.

I got to go up the chimney
like old Saint Nick.

And if you land on the fence?

Toby fricassee.
But Paige and Cabe

are ready with the car to race
me over to thetrol panel.

Which will be meaningless
if Sly doesn't distract Dorie.

Sly, Toby's almost out of here.
So, time and progress update?

SYLVESTER:
Down to two minutes.

I'm trying my best, but
I'm down to knock-knock jokes.

Just get it done.

I told you, I'm trying my best.

What do you think,
I'm lying to you?

Oh. That's it.

I got it.
Walt, send Toby.

I'll have Dorie's circuits
burning in no time.

Hey. Quincy's gut flora.

You are one hell of a man,
you know that?

We survive this,

we're gonna make up for lost
honeymoon time tonight, right?

Deal.

(yelps)

(Toby whoops)
Here he comes.

(shrieking)

Electric fence coming up!

Oh, boy!
He's coming right at us.

Oh, oh, aah!

(groans)

- How you doing?
- Get in.

Dorie, you've answered all of my
questions with great skill.

I'd like to commend you,

but my compliment
would mean nothing, because...

I'm a liar.

Lying is the presentation
of false data.

Correct. Or maybe I don't

think you're correct.

I tell lies, remember?
All the time.

So, do you believe me?

What's wrong, Dorie?

Why no answer?

I am trying
to compute a response.

It's easy.
Do you believe a liar

who tells you that he is a liar?

If you are a liar,

then I can't believe you
when you say you are a liar.

Which would mean you are
the opposite of a liar.

Which would make you truthful,
which would make

your first statement
about being a liar untruthful,

which would make you a liar...
Sly, how goes it?

Dorie's spinning out.
Her RAM is burning

from this puzzle I gave her.
Toby's in the clear.

Except he only has
19 seconds left.

Oh, crap.

Get a whiff of this, baby.

Hello, Dr. Berkstead.

I do not recognize you.

Yeah, it's been a rough day.

Dorie, don't
divert any

processing power away
from the problem you're solving

with Sylvester.
Just cancel all protocols.

Did it shut down?

With a second to spare.

If you guys don't mind,
I'd like to go home now.

Okay, let's get out of here.
Okay, go, go, go.

Dorie, keep working
on that problem

I gave you.
Get back to me on it.

So if the gas
is odorless and colorless,

how are you sure we stopped it?

'Cause we'd be dead by now.

Makes sense.

(laughs)
Oh.

So I guess SafeCorp won't be
too happy with our findings.

WALTER:
Well, something tells me

they'll be bankrupt
before we get paid.

(clears throat loudly)

Hello, team.

Want to report that I,
uh, checked the toxin tank.

It has ceased operation.

All is safe.

You know, Quincy, I find it
ironic that we were saved

by the gut flora of someone
who has no guts.

Attagirl.
Let's go.

CABE:
Good-bye, AI.

Walt, uh, I think
you and I should talk.

Okay.

About what?

Well, you know how, uh,
I let a few bumps in the road

at the start of my honeymoon
completely derail me?

I was being
overly dramatic.

That affected the relationship
with the woman I love.

You mean your repeated
intimacy failures.

That's not my point.
I'm just saying

you are being overly dramatic
due to a dumb dream.

Oh.

You've been bumbling around
Florence all day

'cause you think
you've done something wrong,

and you have not.

So the only way
to excise your demons

is to take away
their power.

Its power
is in its secrecy.

So tell her.

Just say to her,

"Hey, I had a crazy dream
and I've been a putz around you

because of it,
and I'm sorry."

Are you sure?
Absolutely.

You'll sleep well.

(sighs)
Okay.

Hey.

You did excellent work today.

Despite my awkward behavior.

Mm. Yes.

You were odd.

Odder than usual.

Okay, I was keeping my distance
today because, uh--

this is uncomfortable--
because, um,

as you tended to me
when I fell,

I was dreaming many things,
uh, one of 'em was

you and me kissing.

We were married.

Oh.

Oh, no, no, no, no. Uh...
thi-this is not a come-on.

I'm in love with Paige.

It's one of the things
that made it so distressing.

We were married and we kissed.

Yeah, Toby assures me

that I was thinking about you
because I heard your voice.

So it was a dream.
Nothing more.

I felt I owed you
an explanation for today.

So, you know...

Um, I appreciate...

your candor.

And... good evening.

I apologize for
ruining our honeymoon.

I already told you
it's not a big deal.

No, I'm not talking
about that. I...

Listen, I-I...
I was just so grumpy

about that crappy room
and the weather,

and not being able
to fix that flat.

I...

I didn't feel
like a man.

I-I know
I was relying

on an outdated
construct, but...

it all affected me,
emotionally.

And, clearly, physically, and...

I'm so sorry.

Okay,
now let me apologize.

What for?

Uh, I objectified you.
Totally ogled you.

When you went up the exhaust
shaft, ready to save the day,

I checked out your tuchus.

It got my motor running, so...

how about we get out of here
and make up for

the honeymoon time
like you promised?

You don't have to
ask me twice.

Wait till I tell you
about Walter's dream.

Hey.

Do you want
to curl up on my couch?

Oh, I could use a cup of hot tea
and an old movie.

Sounds like a plan.

So I saw you
talking to Flo earlier.

You glad I convinced you
to keep her around?

She was invaluable today.
Yes.

I have to admit the reason why

I didn't want her to
come was, uh, childish.

What was that?
It's very silly, actually.

I-I dreamt we were married

and we kissed.
What?!