Scorpion (2014–2018): Season 4, Episode 11 - Who Let the Dog Out ('Cause Now It's Stuck in a Cistern) - full transcript

♪ ♪

Morning.

How you doing?

Didn't sleep a wink.

I wish you'd just stayed
with me last night.

Yeah. I wanted to be here

in case Sly had any
last-minute stuff to go over.

That way, I wasn't across town.

Good morning.
You ready?

Where's the rest of the team?

They're, um...



taking care of something
at the courthouse.

He's here.

All right. Commence
Operation Judge Nudge.

There you go, Paige,

stink yourself up good.

Pardon me.

That's right, get the relaxing
scent of lavender all over him.

I'm terribly sorry.
No problem.

Did you get
enough on him?

Better be. Gave the guy
everything but a lap dance.

Happy, how goes you?

HAPPY: Almost done.
Judge Tuck's courtroom is set

for a soothing 69 degrees.

Tuck will be cool
and comfortable



instead of hot and bothered.

All right, Walt,
he's headed your way.

WALTER:
On it.

Uh, one large non-fat
double short cap,

two pumps of vanilla,
a pinch of cinnamon,

and extra foam,

and two sugars, please.

Morning, Alice.

Morning, Judge.

I'll have your Earl Grey
up in just a moment.

Keep the change.
Thank you.

Okay, Toby.

All right, our jurist
will be calm

as opposed to tweaked out
on caffeine.

And now the pièce de résistance.

Everyone chills when listening
to the comforting music

of the tropics.

(steel drums playing
gentle music)

Cabe's fate will be decided
by a very mellow fellow.

Cabe, on the other hand,
looks pissed.

You did what?

A university study showed
people handed down

more lenient sentences
when they're, you know...

(Jamaican accent):
feelin' irie, Mon.

Do you know how much trouble
we would've gotten into

if you would've gotten caught?

Perfumes, teas,

manipulating
a municipal building.

We just wanted to help.
We're scared.

It's a bit tense.

(sighs) I know.

I'm sorry. Me, too.

Uh, then let's go get settled.

If it gets tight
during the trial,

just look over your shoulder,
you'll see your friends.

We've got your back.

About that.

I got a call late last night
from the court clerk.

They've decided
on a closed courtroom.

What?

Evidence regarding Scorpion's
previous cases might come up,

could jeopardize
national security,

so... it is a nonpublic trial.

PAIGE:
Wait.

So this is good-bye?

Th-This is it?

No. No, it's not good-bye.

I've got the hardest
working lawyer in town,

and I'm innocent.

So I'll be back
in the garage tonight

celebrating with you guys.

But if something does happen,

I left each of you
a gift on your desks.

Don't open it until you know
how the coin lands on this one.

Well, I should go.

No tears.

No hugs.

Just need to go.

(whispers):
You're gonna be all right, kid.

All right?

You get to come with us, Allie.

Thank you.

But I'm gonna wait here.
I just want to be close.

I can't imagine what
he's feeling right now.

BAILIFF:
All rise.

That's not Judge Tuck.
JUDGE: Be seated.

Judge Tuck received
a phone call--

medical issue with his wife.

She'll be okay, but I've been
assigned to hear the case.

So, uh, let me just...

It's like the Arctic in here.

Fix the heat, will you, please?

HAPPY: Find out
what you can on this guy.

Already on it.
Oh, crap.

This is
Judge Max Talbertson,

aka Maximum Max Talbertson,
'cause he hands out convictions

and harsh sentences
like breath mints.

(Jamaican accent):
We're screwed, Mon.

Doubly screwed.

That was Homeland.

Do they know that we hacked
the court's security cameras?

Nope, but we should
power that down

when our new handler gets here.

New handler?
HAPPY: No way. Cabe's our handler.

In the event
that he's convicted,

Homeland is sending over

Clarence Mickelthorn,
who is going to interview us to,

and I quote,

“determine whether Homeland's
relationship with Scorpion

is beneficial
to the government.”

And if he feels we aren't?

Well, we lose our status
as approved federal contractors,

and considering our current
financial situation,

that means we're...
out of business.

This is nuts.

I got to clear my head.
I'm such an idiot.

If we want to hear what's
going on in the courtroom,

I can just hack a ham radio
signal and try to pick up

the frequency
of the bailiff's walkie.

PAIGE:
Walter,

you haven't had much to say.
Anything you want

to add to this?

Nope.

Since Mr. Gallo requested
a bench trial,

I will be both
judge and jury.

In my courtroom, you will find
that words matter.

Facts matter.

And we'll stick to the facts.

The State may present
its opening argument.

Your Honor, we are not here
just about facts

but relevant facts.

All of the service
that the defendant

has provided
to the military,

to the FBI, to
Homeland Security

is admirable.

But it is completely irrelevant

to these proceedings.
All that's relevant

is Mr. Gallo's actions.

And we know his actions:

he used a key,
he unlocked an ankle cuff,

and he let Mark Collins,
a federal prisoner, go free.

Any other fact
is moot

and should not be considered.

Thank you.

Mr. Dodd, your opening.

Your Honor...
(clears throat)

my client is a military hero.

He...
Counselor,

I agree with

Ms. Dine's
assessment that

Mr. Gallo's
prior service

is not germane
to these proceedings.

Hence, I will not be
entertaining such argument.

Okay.

Uh...

I will just readjust
on the fly here.

It'll only take a minute.

PAIGE: Is it a bad sign
when your lawyer

tears up his opening statement?

If I could just crack
this radio, we'd be able to hear

what's going on in there,
instead of playing charades.

MAN: Officer Salerno responding
to 7th and Brockton.

Okay, that's a police walkie.

Come on, dummy, you can do this.

Um, you called yourself idiot
earlier and now dummy.

Why don't you take it easy
on yourself?

Make way!

(gasps)
Toby!

What are you doing?!

(panting)

Dusted off the old unicycle.

Bike makes me “two” tired.

Don't you get it?

Two-tire...d.

I found a scone in the back of
the fridge. I hope no one minds.

That's from Halloween.

Shh!
This is Officer Salerno.

We have a report of a small dog
stuck in some kind of hole

in the ground.

Great, instead of the trial,
I get a stupid dog.

Man, I am a moron.

Well, of course. You're
attempting to hack an archaic

analog system.
The odds are staggering.

You know, amongst all this
stress, you almost seem serene.

What's that all about?
Mm. It's an astute observation.

You see, at first, I was
very concerned about the trial.

Keeping me up at night,
interfering with work--

very inefficient. So,

I began to read what others have
said about dealing with stress--

uh, Tesla, Shakespeare.

But the philosophy
that I found the most useful

is by an American
baseball player

called John Milton Rivers.

Mickey Rivers?

I-I love Mickey Rivers.

He played for the Yanks
in the '70s, right?

He was the guy who used to, uh,
he batted like this, right?

All irrelevant information.

So, a news reporter asked him
how he stayed calm under fire.

He said, “I don't get upset over
things that I can't control,

“because I can't control them,

“so what's the use
in getting upset?

“I don't get upset over
the things that I can control,

“because I can control them,
so there's no use

in getting upset.”
(chuckles)

So I care very much about Cabe.

I wouldn't want anything bad
happening to him.

But I can't control

what is happening, so I have
decided to not let it affect me.

Okay.

As long as you're not affected.

Not one bit.

Upon arrival, use nylon rope,
try to lasso the dog,

pull him up to the surface.
TOBY: Good luck.

There is no way they're getting
a rope around his waist.

Do we have any milk here?

Forget it. I'll check.

Oh. Oh, look.

Homeland Director Carson's
about to take the stand.

Paige, you-you see that
body language? How cocky he is?

There's no way
Sly's doing well,

or he would appear more thrown.

This is Officer Salerno.

Puppy's far down.
It's shying away from the rope.

Requesting LAFD backup.

Oh, geez,
who could've predicted that?

Oh, it must've fallen
into one of those old

19th century cisterns
that they have down in old L.A.

Guys, the judge is showing
agreement markers

when Carson speaks.

Thanks, Dispatch. Awaiting
arrival of hook and ladder.

I know the area
around 7th and Brockton

from watching a documentary

on the building of the
L.A. subway tunnels.

The soil has a lot of silt
from the old riverbed.

Well, silt compresses easily.

Weight of that fire truck
is too much for that topography.

Could cause the cistern
to collapse.

Right onto the puppy?

Guys, 7th and Brockton

is only ten blocks from here.

We're gonna go save
that dog, aren't we?!

Damn right we are.
(squeaks)

Okay, guys, grab your gear.

Oh, Paige, the fire department
are gonna get pissed

when we tell them to back off,
so you'll have to talk to them.

Wait, hold on.
I don't want a puppy to die,

but Clarence Mickelthorn
is coming to evaluate the team.

If we're not here,
he could shut us down.

Paige, uh, I'll explain
what's happening here.

Um, y-you see,
we're people with almost 600

IQ points between us.
And we're waiting for a judge

with an IQ of, what, 120, tops,

to determine the fate
of our friend.

We're not used
to feeling helpless.

We are used
to solving problems.

When we can't
control things,

just like Walt and Mickey Rivers
said, we don't react well.

But this doggy situation is
something that we can control.

We need a fix
of something we can fix,

'cause the stress of waiting
to see if Gallo gets the gallows

will drive us nuts.

And it's your job
to keep us sane.

'Cause come hell or high water,

we are getting that hound out
of the ground.

There's the truck!

Toby, the car's still moving.

(horn honking)

Are you crazy?

Hey! You trying to get killed?

You can't bring
that truck any closer

to the cistern or you'll cause
a collapse and kill that dog!

Who the hell are you, and how
do you know about the dog?

We heard it on the police radio,
and we are a team of geniuses

who work
with the federal government.

Geniuses? I doubt it.

Yeah. He's just unnerving
a truck full of guys

who want to kick his ass

with a psychological process
called

non sequitural distraction.

Nice moves, babe.

Thank you, darling.

(grunts)
Oh.

Oh, there he is, I see him.

Oh, no, he's terrified.

It's okay sweetheart, we're
gonna get you out of here.

(whimpering)

♪ Scorpion 4x11 ♪
Who Let the Dog Out ('Cause Now It's Stuck in a Cistern)