Scorpion (2014–2018): Season 3, Episode 25 - Scorp Family Robinson - full transcript

WALTER:
Previously on Scorpion...

(Happy gasps)

I know this is not a good
time, but we have a case.

The government
of French Polynesia needs help

setting up their underwater
wave-powered generators.

They're willing to fly us

to Tahiti.

(plane rattling)

We've lost power.

Buckle up and brace yourselves;
we're going down!

SYLVESTER:
If rescuers don't find us,



we don't find a
fresh water source,

we'll be dead in three days.

You know, my wife is due
in three weeks.

I don't even know
if it's a boy or a girl.

Portugal?

You didn't know
Happy used to live there?

Oh, me neither.

I only learned the language
so I could record my single.

Hey, Walt, have
you seen Sly?

He's still in the bunker.

And I think he's kind of
losing his mind.

What's that, Mitchell?

We can't eat Cabe.
That'd be crazy.

SYLVESTER:
I write this journal



in hopes someone learns
of our fate,

because I believe the tale will
never be told by any of us.

You might think that crashing
onto a deserted island

would cause
despondency and panic.

But the truth is, early on,
things were far from bleak.

CABE: Ugh, this is
gonna take forever.

We do not have
forever.

We got two days worth
of bottled water,

one soda and no options.

We need water. It'll make our
march to the grave less painful.

You've become a real ray
of sunshine, you know that?

CABE: I still don't know how
this contraption's gonna work.

WALTER: It's
simple science.

The wind will cause this turbine
from the plane to spin,

pushing air down into the hole
that you're digging.

HAPPY:
We'll put in a reservoir

made from fuselage plastics
that we melt and shape.

As the air cools
underground,

we get condensation.

The reservoir fills up
with water

that we then pump up through
the oxygen mask tubes.

Uh, hey, man, don't look at me.
The only two people

I understand on this island
are you and Paige.

We're basically just making
water out of thin air.

Oh, is that it?

Okay, well,

here's the first aid kit
that you wanted.

And, you guys,

I would love to help out with
the physical labor, but...

Uh, uh-- you just rest.

Ah, here we go.

20 milliliter and 30 milliliter
plastic syringes,

perfect for homemade hand pumps.

And with the humidity
of the region,

we should be able to get
up to 13 gallons per day.

With you guys, I have no reason
not to believe it.

Let's get this done.

SYLVESTER: Despite the
obstacles, there was optimism.

Cleaner than
L.A. tap water.

Try it.

(laughs softly)
It's amazing.

You are... amazing.

CABE:
Uh...

Some of us dug, you know.

And designed the pump.

Well, I am sure you all
worked up an appetite.

I've got fresh coconut meat
and catch of the day.

TOBY: It's good
brain food.

Omega-3s.

Yeah, made with fresh
sea salt and coconut oil.

I can't tell you how much
we all appreciate this.

Well, I couldn't have done it
without the fishing rods you made.

Oh, well,
that's one of the benefits

of growing up broke in Biloxi.

Aw, thank you.
If you want fish,

you got to make your own rod.

Paige, may I have a squeeze
of lime in my water?

Of course.

My inevitable scurvy
thanks you.

Be positive.
I am.

Positive we're all gonna die.

SYLVESTER:
Despite my conviction,

everyone tried
to contribute to the cause.

Toby provided medical care.

Well, wound's fresh,
but it's healing nicely.

Nurse, aloe?

Keep putting this on,

three times a day,
and no strenuous activity.

Come on. I feel like
I got to earn my keep.

You earned it

when you landed a plane

that was running
on a sports drink.

(chuckles)
You know, it's just, uh...

my baby must've been born
by now.

Not being there
for him or her,

like my father
wasn't there for me,

is something I swore I'd never
let happen to my child.

I just want to feel useful
to someone.

It's not your fault.

CABE:
Doc!

Physics class is over.

It's time for Ralph's

botany lesson.

TOBY:
Keep resting.

Chin up, okay?
Got to go.

SYLVESTER: Though in vain,
I am proud of the efforts

my friends all made.

Ralph's education
continued unabated.

Some tried to maintain
a sense of routine.

Smooth as a beauty queen's legs.
This aloe can do it all.

I still don't get

why you and Walt
insist on shaving.

What, you got a big job
interview coming up?

Eh, you can make fun.

But the more
we cling to civilization,

the more likely we are
to remain civilized.

SYLVESTER: Though remaining
civilized was the goal...

(grunts)

...some still indulged
their animal instincts.

No privacy
on this damn island.

Can't believe we're finally
getting a minute alone.

A minute's all I need.

RALPH: Hey, guys,
what are you doing?

CABE:
Sorry about that.

We're just looking to grab
a couple coconuts.

Me, too.

(bird squawks)

I hate it here.

SYLVESTER: Every effort was made
to get off this isle.

It doesn't look airworthy.

Well, the plane's blankets
are a cheap polyester blend,

big enough to cover
the bamboo frame,

and light enough
to rise from the hot air.

Now, I have taped a note inside
with our exact coordinates.

It's a low probability,
but I believe it has a shot.

Pass me that. Great.

Yeah.

Amazing.

SYLVESTER: Every mode
of transportation was explored.

Does not look seaworthy.

Ah, that's just 'cause you're
a perfectionist engineer.

We don't need to win a regatta,

we just got to get out
over those breakers

into the shipping lanes so we
can intercept passing vessels,

and then we'll be spotted.

(imitates pirate):
Argh, a fine vessel she'll be.

Oh, crap.

SYLVESTER:
The repeated failures

started taking its toll
on morale.

Hey.

I ever tell you guys
about the time

I flew in a hail storm

off the coast of Maine,
no radar?

Twice.

Well, I guess I have
no more interesting stories

to tell, then.

Did I miss
the interesting ones?

That was uncalled for.

Sorry, Scotty,
I'm just tired and grumpy.

And a little cold.

Oh? Your man burnt
up your blankets.

As opposed to them getting
waterlogged on your raft?

At least my misstep
didn't result

in important resources
burning up.

Misstep? Is that a euphemism
for abject failure?

Whatever. This is our snuggle
party and you're not invited.

Speaking of snuggling,

are we ever gonna
get some time alone?

Sadly, I doubt it.

Hey, this group togetherness
is great and all,

but we're newlyweds.

Two's company,
eight's a crowd.

I know,
but what can we do?

SYLVESTER: And it was
the most basic human need

that eventually led

to the destruction
of our island paradise--

food.

Oh, wow. Fuselage filet.
This is my favorite.

You have a complaint?
No. I just really hope

this is made with coconut oil
and sea salt.

That'd be
such a wonderful surprise.

Paige, could I have
a squeeze of lime in my...

HAPPY: You've been a bit of
a jerk lately, you know that?

Just been eating
the same thing for the past...

What the hell?

Why are you wearing that?

Time to deliver presents.

My clothes are soaked
in saltwater.

That was supposed to be
for our honeymoon.

We are on our honeymoon.

That was meant
for our alone time.

You want alone time?
You got it.

SYLVESTER: If, in addition
to this journal,

you've found a small skeleton
in an elf costume,

you now know why.

After the dinner incident,
things just got more tense.

But some
desperately held onto hope.

(sighs)

(birds squawking)

For that bottle
to reach Allie, it would

have to get down to the
Antarctic Circumpolar Current,

get swept up
into the Benguela,

caught in
the South Equatorial stream,

switch to the North stream,

somehow find its way
to the Gulf Stream

and hope that some
Florida fisherman found it

and mailed it to her.

And if I know
my Florida fishermen,

he'd probably just keep it.

Sly, I've been meaning
to tell you something.

Yes?

You suck.

You're a downer,
and everyone's sick of you.

I don't disagree.

I think I'll start spending
more of my time in the bunker.

Don't forget to write.

Sure. I'll put it in a bottle.
You'll get it a week from never.

SYLVESTER: I admit
I was being contentious,

but I knew to distance myself.

Others who remained
in the group

broke from societal norms.

Paige, I'm thinking

the rules of civilization
are beginning to break down.

You're telling me.

(loincloth flapping)
What, the loincloth?

Oh, come on, it's a
deserted island, comfort's king.

Well, leg down, your highness.
I can see the crown jewels.

Oh. Look, my point is,

as society regresses,
the populace reverts

to the law of Neanderthals.

That means that
Scotty or Cabe

will soon try
to assert dominance.

And with Scotty's injury

and Cabe's advanced age,

I do not know
how that's gonna play out.

You don't say?

I do say.

You know,
I'm gonna go talk to Walter.

That makes a lot of sense.

Toby is making
absolutely no sense.

He thinks Scotty and Cabe
are gonna battle it out

for some type of supremacy
on the island.

Sly is hiding
in a bunker,

Happy is running around
like an elf.

People are cracking,
Walter,

and you need to
do something about it.

What can I do?
Forget about everything

I ever taught you,
about sensitivity, feelings.

Let your EQ drop to zero

and take charge,
piss everyone off.

Call them stupid; whatever's
necessary to get everyone's

head in the game
and working on legitimate ways

to get off this island.

Have you seen the size of those
damn jungle parrots?

They are drawn
to Ralph,

and I am not gonna let some...

neon bird eat my son.

That's it.
That's the solution.

Parrots?

No, being drawn to something,
like magnets.

I can get us home.

A giant magnet?
WALTER: Yes.

If we build one big enough,
it can create a tiny disturbance

in the Earth's
magnetic field,

which is only
a millionth of a Tesla.

Now, a variation
in that magnetic field

will be noticeable.

By whom?

There are 140 research stations
around the world

that constantly monitor
the Earth's magnetic field:

government agencies,

universities.

Now, a giant magnet can
create a tiny disturbance

in the Earth's
magnetic field;

it will be detected by
one of those stations

and they will send
a research plane to investigate.

How long will it take to build?

CABE: If it's longer
than a few days,

it'll take us
into monsoon season.

Spent a lot of time in
the Pacific with the Corps.

Some brutal storms
headed our way.

TOBY:
When that happens,

the fish are gonna
migrate to deeper waters

and they will be
harder to catch.

Not to mention, this island
is almost out of coconuts.

WALTER: Which is why
it's now or never.

We need to get to work
on that magnet immediately.

No, that's why
we need to build a raft,

get into the shipping lanes
and intercept passing vessels.

Going onto the high seas

with one of your crappy rafts
is suicide.

Starving to death is suicide,

and I am making good progress
with my raft.

Not to mention, I have
the world's smartest engineer

helping me build

the “Guaranteed Success 5.”

No you won't; I'm with Walt.

His plan could work.

What kind of wife are you?

The kind that wants to live.

WALTER:
That's excellent.

Now, Happy can help Cabe
locate the iron...

Yeah, I'm, uh...

I'm gonna go with Toby.

He could use someone with
a nautical background.

That's where I could be of most help.
WALTER: Fine.

Don't want your assistance.

Happy and Paige
can work together.

Not if I'm working
on the raft.

What?

If you take the time
to build the magnet and fail,

then we'll be stuck in
the middle of monsoon season.

And then, getting on that
raft won't be an option.

And then, we'll starve.

Traitor.
Excuse me?

Turncoat. Recreant.
(gasps)

SCOTTY: Walt, listen,
with my injuries,

I won't be too much help in
the open ocean, so, uh...

I'll help you with
the magnet, okay?

Sorry, Toby.
Big deal, barely know you.

Okay, so I suggest that
we move to higher ground

where we'll
build our device.

The cave over the ridge
should make a good home.

Let's go, yeah?

A few weeks into marriage
and we're already separating.

Thank you, Walter.

SYLVESTER: And so,
Scorpion is a team divided.

The stress is palpable.

The only way I've been able
to remotely keep my sanity

is by writing in this journ...

Son of a...

♪ Scorpion 3x25 ♪
Maroon 8
Original Air Date on May 15, 2017

== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man

Home sweet home.

I guess we should set up shop.

Later. I want us focused on
nothing but the magnet for now.

Okay, so, we will need

iron, copper wire
and electricity.

Iron should not
be difficult.

The island is volcanic, so
it has an iron magma core.

Those big rock spires
on the north side

of the jungle are cooled magma,
pure iron.

Smart. So we will need
to wrap the copper wire

around one of those spires.

SCOTTY: Okay, where are we
gonna get copper wire from

in the middle
of nowhere?

Plane's wiring is aluminum.

Already have a solution for
that: the maps in the bunker

have markings
for a munitions dump.

And precision-guided
World War II munitions

used copper wires to
transfer guidance signals.

So, when the
war was over,

surplus munitions were buried;

more often than not,
in shallow pits.

Even if we know where they are,

we're talking about unspent,
live ammunition here.

You want safe,

there's raft-building
on the beach.

We're all about getting home.
Let's go. Come.

Yeah.
Yeah.

TOBY: First she doesn't
tell me about the single

she recorded in
Portugal, and then,

she teams up with
Walter over me?

This is a bad start
to a marriage.

I guess, at least she
didn't call me a traitor.

A-Actually, I caused that.

I told him to just be
a brutal brainiac

to increase
our chances of rescue.

Like, take no prisoners
kind of thing.

He sure
took to it quickly.

Yeah, well, Walter rarely
does things half-ass.

CABE:
Toby's been launching the rafts

near the rocks up ahead,

says it gives him protection
from the surf.

The rafts need protection
from his crappy designs.

What the...?

PAIGE:
What's that?

These are the letters
I sent to Allie.

All of them.

I knew they wouldn't
get to her.

TOBY:
Cabe, you know what?

I'm gonna help dig them up,

and then we'll throw them
back out there for you again.

Never give up hope,
right, buddy?

(bottle clinks)

Hang on. Whoa, whoa, whoa,
what's this?

It's that Portuguese crap
that Happy polished off.

TOBY: No, underneath it,
this metal ridge here.

This is an oil drum.

Help me dig it up!

PAIGE:
How did an oil drum get here?

RALPH:
Here's another one.

Ooh. There's another
ridge sticking out.

(Cabe groaning)

A wave must've knocked it
off the tanker.

And the current
washed them ashore.

Well,

there's a couple of holes
that we can patch up

with tree sap
and plane scraps,

but these suckers are buoyant.

They can get over the breakers.

We just got to strap them
to our new raft:

the “My Idea Is Better
Than Walter's 1.”

(Scotty groaning loudly)

So explain how this
is gonna work.

Rock rolls
into the basin,

creates concussive shockwaves,

identifies
the munitions.

And how is it
gonna do that?

Whoa!
WALTER: Oh.

Like that.

Now all we have to do is
dig up the munitions casings

and take out the copper wiring.

Well, there's live
munitions down there.

How do you expect to do this?

With caution.

(groans)
Man, this is hard.

CABE: Anything
worthwhile is hard.

No, I mean tearing up
Happy's Cleopatra costume.

This was supposed to be
for our, um, uh...

(quietly):
frisky business.

I have a 200 IQ; do you really
think I don't understand

what you guys are talking about?

Look, you might know
what I'm talking about,

but you're not gonna
understand till you're 18.

How about we just stay focused
on getting this thing

shipshape for now?
TOBY: You're right.

Once this is on its
maiden voyage, we can find help,

and then I can spend
the rest of my life

rubbing O'Brien's
smug nose it in.

All right! Done!

Last drum's tied on, now
we just got to get that radio.

WALTER: Toby is gonna be
quite annoyed

when our plan succeeds over his.

Sure, 'cause that's what's
important right now.

It is important.

We're in a situation where
Scorpion should stick together

and he drove us apart
with his stupid raft.

His plan is all wet,

literally and figuratively.

SCOTTY: And you're the
smartest one of the group?

Oh, yeah, we're done.

That's enough.
Okay?

Yeah. Happy,
cut the wire.

Now, all we need is the radio.

Uh, Captain Kangaroo,
the Charleston, Ziggy--

these are all things
that Walter doesn't know,

yet he's the
genius of geniuses.

I don't think so.
WALTER: Oh.

Look who it is.

How'd your raft project
turn out?

All wet?

It didn't work with us,
why are you using it on them?

TOBY: That's
really clever.

You three finding
that the, uh. magnet idea

isn't as attractive as
you thought it might be?

'Cause magnets are
supposed to attract?

I think they... they got it.

It just wasn't funny.
You're on my team.

I sincerely hope
you haven't come here

for the radio.

Walt, we need it
to monitor the storms

and locations of other ships.

You'll sink it.
Besides, we need it

for its crank
and some of its components

to create a charge
on the magnet.

No, no, you're gonna destroy it.

Hey, uh, where's the kid?

Oh, he took a break to go
pump some water.

Said he was tired
of all the negativity.

SCOTTY:
Huh. Smart boy.

SYLVESTER: I, too, have
grown weary of the acrimony

that plagues what will
surely be our last weeks.

Oh, great,
Hagrid wants to chime in.

We've just come here
for the radio, Sly.

No, we came here

for the radio, Sly.
(Sylvester snaps)

Neither of you may have it.

You're fighting
is ruining

what should be a sweet embrace

of our journey to the next plane.
CABE: That's it.

What if I blow right by you
and take it?

Go ahead.

I foresaw your arrival.

The radio is well-hidden.

It appears

Hagrid holds all the cards.

Though I believe
your effort is fruitless,

I have no right to
interfere with your desire

to leave the island.

Okay, good, then just
give us the radio.

PAIGE: And fast,

this place clearly hasn't
been aired out in weeks.

It's not up to me.

So who do we ask, the lizard?
SYLVESTER: Don't be ridiculous.

Mitchell's just an advisor.

SCOTTY:
Oh, man,

we are so far gone.

For me to decide,

you both need to
make your cases.

Dr. Curtis.

You've heard of Kon-Tiki?

Behold...

“Kon-Take Me Home

to Los Angeles.”

Previously known as the SS

“My Idea Is Better
Than Walter's.”

And this is
lightweight, sturdy.

This oil drum raft

has the seaworthiness
of a naval destroyer,

but... with-with
none of the comforts.

But this sucker is solid, Sly.

WALTER: Oh, based on
the engineering

of a behaviorist?

Might as well
build it underwater,

'cause that's where it's headed.

SYLVESTER:
But it isn't

the design of a behaviorist,
now is it, Toby?

Huh? What are you
blabbing about?

You.

Turning my bunker
into a house of lies.

I did the hydrodynamics
by memory,

but it should be seaworthy.

Oh, thank you, my cupcake.

I'm gonna have us home
in no time.

Then, we can start off

this honeymoon the... right way,

if you catch my drift.

Clear as day.

I mean physically, hmm?
Daddy's wound up.

It was obvious the first time

and I want to kick
this marriage off, too,

but if you call yourself Daddy
again, we don't consummate ever.

(kisses)

Et Tu?

I just want
to get off this rock.

A second option would increase
the odds of success.

And Toby can't build a
decent raft without help.

SYLVESTER:
Walter.

Your plan, please.

The spire at the top
of the island's mountain

has an iron core.

I've salvaged
copper wire.

All we need to create
a magnetic thump

is electricity.

So, if you'd just
hand over the radio,

Happy can dismantle it

for the generator
to power the electromagnet.

Hmm. Sounds like a plan.

But, how exactly did you get the
rope to ascend the iron spire?

It was woven from the curtain
cords from the plane's wreckage.

You wove it?

Or someone else?

Excellent. Tensile strength
of sailing hemp.

Well done, my little...
Not now.

I want out of here by
any means necessary.

Understood.

Walter, something else
that needs attention.

What we started back
in Kovelsky's storage closet?

I really want to finish that.

Mama's a little... pent up.

These people
have lost their minds.

You were spying on us.

TOBY: Paige, we are
nothing without loyalty!

Can it, shrink. I don't care
about this dumb contest.

I just want us all
to survive.

Well, we certainly won't if
we're on the “SS Sharkfood”.

You want
a magnetic thump?

I can give you one
you won't forget, okay?

Hey, you guys, you guys.
You know what, Sylvester,

just make your decision.

I got it.

Given the pitch
of the iron spire,

there is no way Walter
could scale it with the wire

and the radio.

His plan, though
theoretically sound,

would flop.

Ah! We sail
with the tide!

SYLVESTER: Yes,
if you like the idea

of drowning in two days.

You could make it to
the shipping lane,

but once the monsoons hit,
your boat is toast.

(laughs)

Because you both
insisted on working

separately,
you've developed plans

that are guaranteed to fail.

So, until you can agree
to cooperate...

...no one gets the radio.

Cabe, grab him.

With pleasure.

TOBY:
Give us the damn radio!

Mutiny! Mutiny!

WALTER:
Hey! Hey!

The radio or I eat Mitchell.

No!

He is an excellent
source of protein

and I am starting to
lose muscle mass,

so three, two, one...

Fine, fine.

I hid it in the
base of a tree.

I'll take you to it.

Oh. Look at his eyes.
He's terrified.

Boy, you dumped that
EQ like a hot rock.

I like it.

(moans)

Guys.

We got a problem here.

Where's the crank?

The radio's useless without it.
What are you trying to pull?

I swear, this is where I hid it.

Thief!

Absconder!

Ralph!

What about him?

He didn't leave
to go pump water.

Yesterday,
he helped me search

for good hiding places.

This was one of them.

But why would he take it?

I don't know, but if he
accidentally compromises

that generator,
there is no magnetic signal.

Or communication with the raft.

Enough. Everyone split up
and find him.

Let's go.

Ralph!
PAIGE: Ralph!

Ralph! Ralph!

Ralph?
Ralph?

Ralph! Yeah,
he's not here.

Copper wire's missing.

Oh, no. Oh, no.

Ralph must've taken it
to the spire.

He's trying to reenact my plan.

Yeah, but if the peak to
the spire is too steep for you,

Ralph would know there's no way
he could climb it.

If that is true,
he's not going to the spire.

He's going to the beach.

Let's go, let's go!

Walter.

Walt?

Walter, what's happening?

Ralph is going after
Toby's oil drums.

Now, the steel drums contain
chromium, which is magnetic.

Ralph's gonna use them
in place of the spire.

Seems like an easier way
to put your plan in action.

Why isn't it a good thing?
It will create a magnetic pulse,

but since the chromium levels
in the drums are low,

Ralph will have
to compensate

by building
a much larger charge,

which could cause
the electromagnet to explode.

Oh, God.

(electricity crackling)

HAPPY:
Oh, man.

I know what he's doing and
I think it could explode.

Stop, kid!

Kid, you okay?

Uh-huh.
(shouts)

(Ralph screams)
Ralph!

PAIGE:
Ralph! Ralph!

Come on!
Hurry, we have to dig!

Everybody, get digging!

Uh, not everyone,
just Cabe and Paige.

The rest of us sweep up

what they excavate.

We need help.
Too much weight in the sand

and it will cave in further.

So, Sly, get behind me.
You two, stay there.

I'm coming, Ralph.

PAIGE:
Oh, come on.

Where are they?!
HAPPY: Paige isn't the strongest.

You or Sly should be digging.

Right now she could lift
a Mack Truck off that kid.

I'm sure as hell
not gonna tell her to stop.

Come on, Cabe.

I see his hand!
He's moving.

Okay, everyone, get
ready to pull Paige.

Come on. Come on!

Come on!
Okay.

Paige, dig around
Ralph's shoulders.

Yell when your hands are
underneath his arms!

Okay. Almost there.

I'm coming, Ralph!

(grunts)
Got him.

Ready?
Okay, pull now.

One, two, three.

(Walter shouting)

WALTER:
He's breathing.

HAPPY:
We got to get Scotty.

TOBY:
Sly, let's go.

Oh. Are you okay?
Sweetheart.

CABE:
I got him!

(grunts)
(sand sliding)

Every time Cabe removes sand,
more falls in.

I can't keep it off him!

Oh, God.
(grunting)

You had a water bucket
on the raft?

Over there!

Getting nowhere fast!

Walt, bucket!

Here.

No matter what I do,
it keeps coming down on him.

Cabe, dig as hard as you
can for three seconds

and then get out of the way.

CABE:
Three, two, one!

You all right?

You all right in there?

SCOTTY:
Yeah. I can breathe,

but the sand
is crushing my chest!

Bucket will give us enough time

to excavate around him,
so the sand

won't cover his mouth and nose,
but we got to hurry!

CABE:
All right.

Wait a minute.

I got under his arms!

I've got him!

(Scotty groaning)

(Scotty coughs)

(coughs)

That was a lot of force
on your chest, Scotty.

Are you okay?

Uh, yeah.

Thank you.

(groans)

Hey.

I know you're upset
because you feel

you aren't there for your child,

but you were there
for mine today.

Thank you.

Yeah.

What were you
thinking, Ralph?

You were all
like fighting children.

Neither of the plans was
gonna work independently.

I had to do what I could
to save Scorpion.

We were dopes.

We were.

Well, do we know if it worked?
Did the magnetic pulse go off?

Walter, check your watch.
Oh.

Wait, it stopped.

That means the magnetic
pulse froze its movement.

The plane could be here anytime.

Or never.
Sly.

You're right,
I'm done with the negativity.

Great, so we have
the fire and “SOS” dug

in the sand.

Any other ideas how we can

get a signal to the plane?

Anyone?
Penny for your thoughts.

Pennies?

Wait, wait, wait, that's it.

The Scottish wedding pennies
that Cabe gave Toby and Happy.

Another gift
we didn't register for.

WALTER: Right,
so, if we combine

zinc oxide from
the rusted munitions

with the copper shavings
from the pennies

and then we light it on fire,

it will burn very brightly.

I have a steel file in
my tool bag to get the rust off.

Everyone else can shave the
pennies using volcanic rocks.

We'll combine
the zinc oxide and copper

into the SOS until it
burns like a neon sign.

Guys, about how long do you
estimate it will take us

to shave down a hundred pennies?

With all of us working,
at least an hour.

But we don't have an hour.
Listen.

(plane engine buzzing)

A plane!

How did a plane
get here so fast?

Well, whatever research station
that picked up

on the magnetic disturbance

must have diverted
a monsoon-tracking plane

that was already in the area.

Shh.

(plane engine buzzing)

That engine's a small prop

flying at a high altitude.

SYLVESTER: Well, it's not
looking for people.

It's here to collect data.

Our only hope is to signal it.

There's no way we can shave
a hundred pennies by hand

into dust before
that plane gets here.

It's getting louder.

Well, we could've pulverized
those pennies if one of you

knuckleheads got us the one
present I really wanted

on that registry, the one
thing I hinted at 14 times!

The six-speed industrial juicer?

With titanium blades.

I've been hiding it.
Okay, get it.

Cabe and I will grab munitions
scrap for the zinc oxide.

HAPPY:
And batteries.

(plane engine buzzing)

Uh, everyone strip their
cell phones and laptops.

I need to goose that juicer.

Let's go.

Hurry, we need another battery.

Okay, here you go.
(groans)

Okay.

Congratulations.

I got the coins and
Happy's file! Ooh.

That also makes soup.

The plane is
nearly above us.

So we have what, seconds?

The plane will make three loops
over the island

to get magnetic readings.

If we can't get
the signal up before that...

we're dust.

WALTER: Got the rest
of the ammo shells!

We're gonna need Happy's file.
Yeah, coming at you.

It's working.
Uh, it's got power,

but no clue if it can
chew pennies.

Okay, guys, this is
gonna sound like

a T. Rex eating a car,
so plug your ears.

(pennies grinding)

(pennies grinding)

(loud grinding)

We got copper flakes!

The plane is making
its second turn!

I hate to
break it to you,

but we're not gonna
have enough time

to fill all three
of these letters.

Just fill in the “S”!

Hopefully this pilot
is smart enough to know

that a flaming “S”
isn't a natural phenomenon.

(grinding continues)

The thing's gonna blow.

Just a little more.

Ugh! That'll have to do.

(grinding stops)

The plane's making
its third loop!

Happy, hurry!

Done!

TOBY:
Hey, it's “S”...

for Scorpion.

Our team.

A team that never
should be divided,

no matter how bad things get.

Agreed.

Double agreed.

(plane engine buzzing)

(plane engine receding)

(sighs) He didn't see us.

Well, I'm thinking of a word
that starts with an “S.”

Yeah, and I bet
that word isn't “saved.”

(sighs) It is not.

Well, I have something to say.

Even though this
didn't work out,

I am so proud
of all of us.

We came together to save
Ralph and-and Scotty,

and to make this signal
with virtually no time.

And that is what Scorpion
is all about.

So, no matter how long
we have to stay here,

as long as we are family,

we are gonna be okay.
(claps hands)

(plane engine buzzing)

The plane's coming back!

(all cheering)

Oh, thank God, I couldn't stand
another minute in this hellhole.

(all cheering)

CABE:
Hey!

He tipped his wing at us,
he saw us!

(laughs)
CABE: Yeah!

(all cheering)

(whoops)

(all cheering, laughing)

SYLVESTER: Let this be
a lesson to you, dear reader.

No man is an island...

no genius either.

(door opens)

(chuckles)
(door closes)

I don't care how many people
want to interview us.

We just got back
a few hours ago.

We're exhausted; we don't want
to be paraded around on TV.

That's our position.

(phone beeps)
Vultures.

TOBY:
Walt,

Cabe, Sly,

you guys got to check this out.

Happy's past is about
to come back to haunt her.

SYLVESTER:
This is what you spent

your first two hours back
in civilization doing?

Yeah, I've been obsessed
since she told me about it.

And I, Sherlock Holmes,
discovered that

her name in Portugal
was not Happy,

it was “Feliz.”

So, “Happ”"
in Portuguese.

Must have taken hours.

I haven't watched it yet,
so if it gets racy,

shield your eyes.

Amigo amigvel?

(pop music playing)

♪ ♪

♪ Voce e meu amigo amigvel ♪

♪ Eu gosto de voce ate o fim ♪

♪ Voce e meu amigo amigvel ♪

♪ Eu gosto de voce ate o fim ♪

(music stops)

CABE:
Um...

catchy.

SYLVESTER: I don't know
any Portuguese,

but I do know some Spanish,

and that sounded like

“you're my friendly,
friendly friend”?

“I like you until the end.”

And then it repeats itself,
like, 400 times.

I found a mathematical formula
for their dance tracks.

It's syncopated nonsense
with a quarter-beat

back-track and auto-tune.

Then I wrote repetitive,
mindless lyrics,

and a few weeks later,
I had royalties coming in.

I was hard up on cash.

So, now you know.

As we have discussed,

I have a past.

I know. I accept it.

Um, I only have, um...

one question. Um...

Do I still have
the flamingo dress?

(whispers):
Back of my closet.

(claps hands)
Uh, we're gone.

Uh, two weeks, off
the grid. Don't call.

Don't write.
Love you. Bye.

HAPPY: Bye, Paige.
Bye, Ralph.

PAIGE:
Wait.

Where are they going?

To be friendly,
friendly friends.

But I got everyone's
favorite meals.

Kovelsky's brisket for Toby.
(phone rings)

And steak for Cabe.

Fermented fish for Walter,
which I can't believe

you actually asked for fish.
(phone rings)

Uh, I will dig in in a moment.
Hello?

Ralph, you ready to go?

Where you guys off to?
I got a notice.

The mayor of West Altadenia
had me declared legally dead,

so we're going to City Hall
to bring me back to life.

The paperwork requires
the brainpower

of two geniuses
working all night.

By the way, I kept
something for you.

My note to Allie.

I thought you'd want
to give it to her in person,

rather than wave-mail.

Sorry for being
such a jerk about that.

We were all under
a lot of stress.

You know, I'm actually
nervous about seeing her.

She's gonna be landing
in three hours.

The lady booked a flight home
from her sister's

the second she found out
you were still alive.

You have nothing
to be scared of.

Oh, my God!

Ah!
What the hell?

Oh... (laughs)

It was just a...
a dust bunny.

I thought it was a spider.

(chuckles)

It's good to have
the old Sly back.

(chuckles)
Ralph, we're out of here.

I'll give you a lift.

Bye, Mom.
See you tomorrow. Hey...

Thanks for watching him.

(chuckles)

That is wonderful news.

Yeah, congratulations.

Yes, please,
send a photo. Bye.

That was Scotty.
He and his family are great.

He was actually holding
his daughter while we talked.

That's nice.
All's well that ends well.

So, we are alone.

I'm concerned.

Okay.

On the island,
you told me

it didn't matter
if my EQ dropped,

so long as I was able
to figure out a way

for us to survive
and it helped.

But I am worried
that it might have

dropped and stayed there.

I mean, I...

I threatened to eat
Sylvester's friend.

You've had a lot of fits
and starts with EQ,

but you've always seemed
to be on a forward path.

You know, my overwhelming
emotion right now is that I...

I feel...

Well, a little sick
to my stomach.

Mmm, do you have a bottle
of wine upstairs?

Uh, someone gave it to us
after a-a job.

I have no idea if it's
really any good or not.

Uh, I-I don't even know
what that means.

Seems kind of subjective,
doesn't it?

You pour us a glass.

I'll be right up.

Okay.

Oh, yeah.

We've waited a
long time for this.

Buckle up, nerd.

== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man